#something something aria holding guilt and bad feelings so close to her chest that she has nightmares she has panic attacks she can't
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aria puts a lot of pressure on herself when it comes to her family, specifically as it pertains to maintaining harmony within her family and/or living up to the person they raised her to be. she has a lot of intense feelings that sit very close to her chest related to family that she often doesn't know how to express, particularly concerning byron following his request that she lie about his affair, and at times this manifests in extreme and/or aggressive behavior. aria holds and holds things in, and usually no one sees how much she's been holding or how heavy it is until it explodes.
conflict within her family is agonizing to aria, and causes her very intense pain that she often doesn't know how to manage. her parents' separation is devastating to her and she feels responsible for trying to ease tensions between her parents and mike, she's deeply affected by mike's struggles in s2, she blames herself for her parents' divorce, and when mike apologizes to aria for not stepping in when she's slut-shamed in season 5, you can see the distance between them cuts terribly deep. being disconnected from her family is one of the worst things in the world for aria.
likewise, the idea of falling short or disappointing her family is immensely painful. though she has spells of anger and rebelliousness, her parents' disapproval of ezra - and more importantly, of her choices concerning ezra - is something that deeply hurts her (and that hurt is also what fuels these moments where she does push back or lash out). the thought of disappointing them is incredibly painful, and this also dampens her ability to truthfully communicate with them at times.
she and byron have never truly healed the fracture that came of his affair with meredith and him asking her to keep it a secret, but this isn't something aria knows how to talk to him about. often times, she avoids mike rather than speak with him directly, because she doesn't know how to explain so many of the things that have happened, and she's terrified to push him farther away. she can't tell ella she really really needs her to stay, in large part because of A but also because ella has done so much for her and she can't ask her to postpone her happiness anymore.
it is because aria thinks the world of her parents and mike that she struggles at times. she thinks frequently about how lucky she is to have the parents and family that she has - a family that loves and accepts her for who she is, and who have always protected her. something aria is very aware of is that being trans, this could have been so very different. she sees how emily's mom responds to her being a lesbian, and she has the empathy to understand how her being trans might have been hard to come to terms with or accept. in another family, aria might not have been allowed to explore and come to terms with who she is. but aria grew up loved and accepted, and she never had to worry that it might go away.
she puts a lot of really intense pressure on herself because of that. a lot of intense pressure to appreciate her parents and not take for granted what it is to be loved and accepted by your family. it takes time for her to learn that her having a good mom and dad and brother who loved and accepted her doesn't mean that they're immune to making mistakes, even mistakes that hurt her, and that she's allowed to react to those mistakes. to see that this can even extend to her being trans - that just because they've made those attempts to educate themselves and understand out of love and support for her doesn't mean they'll always get it right, and that it's okay for her to have feelings about that, too.
#i am not your doll.#meta: aria.#meta.#i love you aria montgomery!!!!!#something something about aria having these intense outbursts but also burying her feelings down SO deep that they just explode#that by the time she and mike begin to work through their stuff she's buried so much hurt and fear that she's on the verge of SOBBING just#talking to him because she's had so much building inside of her for so long#something something aria saying thank you for still looking at me the same way you did yesterday#because she's carried what they did to jenna for so long and it's cut her so deep#and it does feel so horrible and immense that ezra will walk out that door and never come back#something something aria holding guilt and bad feelings so close to her chest that she has nightmares she has panic attacks she can't#breathe she gets sick to her stomach her hair falls out#aria being the best liar because she holds everything in so tight
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Jamais Vu - Part Two
Exo Fanfiction
Baekhyun x Female Reader
Warnings: none?
Genre: Fluff/Angst
W/C: 3507
Part One Part Three
_____________________________________________________________
You watch as Baekhyun turns away from your front door and disappears inside the next apartment.
No way.
*Slam*
Shit.
************************************************************************
Later that night you lie wide awake.
Replaying the interaction over and over in your head.
Each time making you want to sink further into a hole of shame.
Guess it’s time to become a recluse?
You groan out loud as you roll over and try to shake all thoughts of Byun Baekhyun from your mind.
You nose fills with the smell of fresh cotton and magnolia that seeps out of your sheets from the movement.
“Byun Baekhyun is that you? It’s y/n from university! Wow, what are the chances….”
All the things you should have said verbalising in your mind when its already too late.
He would have realised and you both would have laughed and reminisced but no!
You knocked him over, stole his groceries and invaded his personal space.
Your chest feels tight with regret and embarrassment.
You can’t even remember the last time you were left speechless, probably because you stopped letting your guard down a long time ago.
You clutch your pillow against your face and let out the frustrated yell that you’ve been holding in all evening.
The next morning you make sure to leave your apartment early.
The main reason being that it’s your first day in a new department and you want to get into work to set up early and talk to the Director of Corporate Accounting, Mr Do regarding the accounts you’ll be managing.
You also want to have a quick check-in with Jaehyun to make sure he has everything he needs in place to start managing your old team.
But NOT because you’re planning on avoiding Baekhyun until your lease runs out.
Because that would be ridiculous...
“You’re being ridiculous!”
You sigh, as you friend Aria scolds you on your lunch break.
“I don’t know what you mean” you huff, stuffing a tuna maki roll into your mouth.
Aria has been your best friend since you joined Kim & Partners almost six years ago.
You often grab lunch at the small ramen restaurant around the corner from your company.
You both started at the same time and hit it off during your induction week.
Aria worked in the IT systems department and helped develop and manage aspects of the different software systems used at the company.
You were utterly clueless and would often be on the phone to the support desk because you’d managed to crash or break something that should be impossible.
Aria knew of Baekhyun, you had drunkenly ranted to her about him a few years back triggered by him leaving you a dry happy birthday message on your SNS page.
You’d told her everything. About how you met, how close you’d been and how you’d felt about him at college.
You remember the tears hitting around the point you explained the last couple of years he had faded away.
“I know that he never could never have known how I felt, but-like” you had paused to down another shot, “...he still should have cared about me in some capacity right?”.
“Then delete him, he’s not worth it” she had soothed, rubbing your back.
You probably sounded so desperate but truthfully you felt abandoned.
You swallow down the uncomfortable memory with a sip of water as you continue to justify yourself.
“It’s not even like we really know each other anymore. Maybe HE’S avoiding ME”. You point your chopsticks at her accusingly.
Aria raises her eyebrow at your words, accompanied by a glare.
“Stop it! You’ll make the ramen taste bad!” you gasp, shielding your bowl.
She scoffs at your dramatics. “You live next to each other, it’s not like you can avoid him forever”.
You look up from your bowl, a glint of determination in your eye.
“Challenged accepted”.
“Stubborn ass”.
“Says the Sagittarius!” you shoot back.
When you get back from lunch, you head straight to see your new manager.
“I’m back Mr Do, are you ready to go over the client files?”.
“Please don’t call me Mr Do, that’s my father’s name,” he sighs, looking up from his Laptop. “I’m not that much older than you, call me Kyungsoo”.
He grabs a stack of papers and files from his desk and walks around to plonk them onto yours opposite.
“Are you sure it’s fine for me to invade your office?” you ask, flipping through the first document.
You were surprised to learn that you were sharing the office with the department director.
The rest of your colleagues were sat open-plan adjacent to the office.
You snort loudly.
“You can tell your background is auditing” you add, admiring the uniform presentation of each set of financial accounts.
“Is it that obvious?”
His voice sounds closer than you expect. He’s still leaning against the edge of your desk as he looks over the file in your hand, a slight smirk on his heart-shaped lips.
It’s not common to come across such a good looking accountant. A far cry from the crusty old white men you’re accustomed to working with.
Well, Jaehyun is handsome but you only see him as a younger colleague.
Kyungsoo, on the other hand. With his deep whiskey brown eyes and short black hair, complimenting to the warm hues of his skin. Is just plain hot.
His shirt sleeves are rolled up past his elbows and you can’t help but take notice of the tone in his forearms that cross over his chest. His voice snaps you out of the slight trance you’ve fallen into.
“...and yes, it’d make sense to share the same space since we’re going to manage the biggest clients together. Did Mr Kim not explain that this is a promotion,”
You nod in understanding and he steps back to his desk, looking up once last time with warm assuring smile. “Let’s work hard together”.
Then his attention is back to his laptop, his expression full of concentration.
The rhythmic tapping of his calculator and keyboard filling the room as soft background noise.
You cant help but smile as you look back down towards the files in front of you, a new feeling of determination ignited.
Working with Kyungsoo for the rest of the day makes you forget about the previous day’s events.
That’s until you step into the lobby of your apartment building and instantly feel anxious at the sight of the elevator.
You don’t fancy another run in with Baekhyun, so you opt for the stairwell.
You trudge up the stairs until you reach the top floor. Catching your breath as you stand on your tiptoes to peek out of the small glass window that looks out towards your hallway.
The coast is clear so you make a stealthy dash past Baekhyun’s apartment into your own.
Aria is right, you this is childish but you don’t want to deal with any awkwardness or confrontation.
You leave early again the next morning, work late into the evening and take the stairs. Doing the same the next day. And the day after that.
Most people don’t talk to their neighbours anyway. You’ve lived plenty of places and hardly interacted with the people in your building.
Maybe this was your new normal.
The weekend is here before you know it.
You open your eyes groggily. The last thing you remember was reading through some files that you brought home with you yesterday to make notes.
You blame your passing out on the two glasses of chardonnay you had to accompany the reading.
There’s an ache in your thighs and knees that you attribute to the number of stairs you’ve climbed recently.
Perhaps this will count towards your yearly cardio.
You snort at the thought as you rub your eyes. Stretching your arms above your head as you try to loosen the stiffness of sleep from your body.
Faint jazz music plays in the distance, drifting through the wall you share with Baekhyun's apartment.
You close your eyes and listen, a soft piano and guitar medley you think? The double bass thumping along like a gentle heartbeat.
A feeling of melancholy washes over you causing you to sigh so you force yourself to get up and take a shower.
Feeling more awake you decide now is the right time to sneak out of your apartment and grab some groceries while it’s still early.
A few hours later than you expected you return to your building, a bag full of groceries clutched in one arm and a couple of extra bags from an impromptu retail binge.
You couldn't help yourself when you walked past your favourite clothing store Privé and spotted this beautiful pastel blue off-shoulder skater dress.
It literally called out for you to purchase and before you knew it you were also picking up a few new makeup and skincare items to indulge in for the rest of the day.
‘I don’t splurge often… I work super hard and I deserve this!” you reason with yourself, grimacing as the total of your purchases flash across the cashier screen.
There's always a pang of slight guilt that accompanies any shopping high. The accountant aspect of you scolding your more impulsive side.
You don’t dwell much on it as you approach the end of the hallway and find yourself contemplating a new dilemma.
Haul everything up the stairs or risk the elevator. Realistically you’re carrying way too much so the only logical option is taking the elevator.
It’ll be fine you assure yourself as you step onto the elevator, pushing the button for the top floor.
Just as the elevator doors are almost closed a hand shoots through the gap and you yelp in surprise.
“Didn’t you hear me calling out to hold the eleva-!” gasps Baekhyun as he shoves his body through the door gap.
His words cut short as his eyes land on you.
Your stomach twists into a knot, tightening your grip on the grocery bags as you step to the side to create more space between you.
“I didn’t hear you...s-sorry” you manage to stutter out, trying your best to keep your voice even and eyes straight ahead.
You catch your image in the mirror of the elevator, your hair looking slightly windswept from the outside.
A sudden conscious sensation of being watched sends a shiver down your spine and you feel your eyes being drawn to the figure reflected next to your own.
Baekhyun is staring, directly at you. His head turned towards you and lips slightly agape.
As if he’s about to say something.
You internally plead with the elevator to move faster and as though it’s heard your thoughts, you feel the soft judder beneath your feet as it comes to a halt.
When the door spring open, you walk straight for your apartment. Not daring to look behind you.
Your hand trembles as you rapidly punch in your lock code and push open the door, stepping into your apartment and using your foot to kick the door shut behind you.
The door thumps, obstructed by something and you place the items on your counter thinking that your umbrella stand has probably fallen over.
Instead, when you turn around Baekhyun is standing in your doorway. His arm stretching out to hold your front door open.
“Are you avoiding me?”.
You freeze, feeling yourself flinch at his words. Caught off guard by the sudden accusation.
“No why would you-”.
“Aw come on Y/N! you can’t even look me in the eye right now.” He cuts you off, his tone exasperated.
“Who are you to suddenly act as if you know me?” You spit back without thinking.
A tinge of heat rises to your cheeks. Annoyed with yourself for biting back so easily.
Baekhyun's expression softens.
He lets his arm drop from the door and shoves both hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“Look. I’m sorry.”
“Wha-why?”
“For yelling at you the other day...for the last couple of years?” he winces at his own words.
“In my defence, you knocked me over” He looks at you like a kicked puppy, “and your hair is much longer now.”
He’s apologising?
“I don’t know what to say” your thoughts spilling directly from your mouth.
You feel overwhelmed, unable to pint point exactly how you feel.
Angry. Relieved. Happy?
You hear a half sigh, half laugh from Baekhyun.
“Hi?” He offers.
“Hey...” you reply weakly.
You both stand there, for what feels like a while.
“Can we start ove-,” you begin, words cutting short as Baekhyun blurts out the same.
You laugh this time.
“Please.” he adds.
You note that his hands are now resting at his sides, a sure sign he’s also feeling less on edge.
You feel ridiculous for even remembering that.
“Good...well. I’m glad” you agree.
Not knowing what else to say.
“Yeah, me too,” he continues. “So we’re finally neighbours.”
“Uh-huh” you nod.
“Awesome”
You cross your arms over your chest. “So what brought you to move here?” you ask.
“Work, new job!”
“Congrats”
“Thanks…” He rocks back on his heel. One hand returning to his pocket. “What about you?”
“Huh?... Oh, the same”.
You cringe at the dry turn of the conversation.
Is it appropriate to ask him to leave?
“So-uh, yeah. I guess I'll be seeing you around?” You opt for something subtle.
He seems to understand, his eyes widening slightly as he quickly steps back from the threshold.
“Ye-yes of course! Catch up soon?”
You're not sure if he’s asking you or telling you, so you just offer him a weak nod as he closes your door behind him.
You hold your breath, straining your ears for the sound of his door closing.
The moment you’re sure Baekhyun is back inside his apartment you jump straight on the phone to Aria.
Words of confusion spilling from your mouth as you fill her in on what’s happened.
“What does this mean!?” you whisper/shout over the line.
“How am I supposed to know?” she deadpans, always the most sympathetic. “What do you want?”
“What?”
You flop onto your couch dramatically.
“Like, do you want to be his friend again. Address your feelings and issues and rebuild a relationship or just keep things in the past and remain as you are?”.
“I...I don’t know. I’ve spent so much time avoiding him I didn’t even consider anything like that”.
You hear her sigh on the other end. “So think about it carefully, you were really upset last time”
You respond with a groan.“I know”.
“Do you want me to text Key and we can all meet up, get some drinks and debate this further. You know he’s always opinionated on things like that.”
“Tempting, but I have to work on some client files and think this over for myself...” you pause, suddenly realising something. “Wait, Key knows?”.
“Yah, I’ve been texting him this whole time.”
You press two fingers against your temple, feeling a headache coming. “Thanks mate.”
Kim Kibum, Key as he prefers; is your other best friend.
You met at a night school you’d attended a few years back, after sitting next to each other by chance on the first day.
You would meet up at the weekends for joint study sessions, usually followed up with a few drinks and sharing mutual complaints about the difficulties and stress of working and studying at the same time.
You’d introduced him to Aria and the rest was history.
You usually meet up together once a month, sometimes hanging out with his roommates Minho and Taemin.
“Tell Key I’ll text him later, rain check on the drinks. Maybe next weekend...uh-huh, ok. Text you later.”
You end the call, looking up at the ceiling.
Chest feeling heavy as you try to put your thoughts towards Baekhyun into one place.
Was this a friendship worth salvaging. You were close past tense, but also people grew and changed.
He wasn’t the only friend you grew apart from so why did it sting so much when you did?
It’s not like you were still in love with him or anything, or that you were waiting for him all this time.
It’s not a romantic comedy. (Even if you do enjoy watching them).
You feel cursed in the relationship department anyway, the last ending terribly with your ex cheating on you with someone you considered to be a friend.
Remaining single is currently a choice. Aria and Key constantly threaten to drag you to some speed dating event but you refuse.
The rest of the weekend goes by peacefully, you meet Key for coffee Sunday afternoon for a change of pace from looking over client files and cleaning your bathroom.
“I think...,” you start, taking an extra-long sip of your iced latte “It would be nice to be friends again”.
“We were friends?” Key looks up from his phone, a smirk on his lips.
You smack his arm playfully. “You know what I mean!”.
“So you’re not planning any love confessions this time?”.
You grimace, “I was eighteen! It was a crush...now I’m a grown-ass lady who knows she’s going to die alone with seventeen dogs”.
“Hmmm, well if you don’t want him, I’ll have him”
You choke on your coffee.
“How do you know he’s not an ugly ass?”
He holds his phone up to you.
“Because SNS is a wonderful thing darling”.
You gasp, snatching the phone out of Key’s hand. Baekhyun's profile photo staring back at you.
It looks like he’s on a beach somewhere.
His hair a light shade of blonde, wearing a tight fit shirt which only emphasises the broadness of his shoulders.
He’s grinning cheekily at whoever is taking the photo and you feel the corners of your lips tugging upwards in response.
You don’t think it’s the sun that brightens the picture.
A hand suddenly waves in front of your face. “Earth to lover girl!” Key calls out, removing his phone from your hand.
“Stop stalking Baekhyun.” you huff.
“Fine fine fine” he deadpans. “but only if you add him yourself”.
“How do you know we aren’t already friends?”
He looks up at you with a raised brow. Ah yeah he’s already checked.
You chew on the bottom of your lip nervously as you press send on the friendship request.
Pangs of guilt emerging over the fact you had even deleted him in the first place
But you needed to back then, it used to hurt to look at him.
Monday morning as your leaving your apartment your surprised to see Baekhyun leaving his apartment at the same time.
He looks you up and down curiously.
“Morning” He smiles, “this is a bit late for you?” his tone slightly teasing.
He’s not wrong, you’re back to leaving your usual time.
“or maybe you’re early” you respond, mimicking his tone.
He laughs and shakes his head. “No, I leave this time every day”.
He falls into step as you head towards the elevator.
“I started working in a new department last week so I went in early to try and adjust faster.”
Wait. Why are you justifying yourself to him?
“So you’re a big fancy accountant now?” he asks, smiling as you wait for him to step onto the elevator before you push the button for the ground floor.
“And you a fancy architect?” you offer, he laughs and nods in agreement.
The rest of the elevator ride is in silence, but this time you're not itching to escape.
Baekhyun hums randomly to himself as he fiddles around on his phone.
*ping*
You reach into your pocket searching for your phone at the sound of the notification tone.
‘Byun Baekhyun has accepted your friend request’.
You look up from your phone but he’s not looking. His expression serious as he continues to look down at his phone.
Does he feel bad that you deleted him?
You step off the elevator and leave the building at the same time.
Keeping a half step ahead as you turn off towards the subway station.
In your peripheral you see that he’s turned in the opposite direction.
Should you say goodbye, is it weird to wish him a good day?
You start wondering as you walk further away from each other.
“Kick some accounting ass!” Baekhyun suddenly calls out, making you spin around in surprise.
You snort at his word choice.
“Architect the shit out of some buildings!” you call back.
You’re rewarded with one of his loud melodic laughs and you catch yourself sighing dreamily.
Ah Shit.
#baekhyun#byun baekhyun#bbh#bobohu#baekatitagain#bbh fanfic#baekhyun fanfic#baekhyun fanfiction#bbh fanfiction#baekhyun fluff#bbh fluff#baekhyun x reader#bbh x reader#baekhyun imagine#baekhyun drabble#baekhyun oneshot#exo fluff#exo fanfic#exo fanficion#exo drabble#exo oneshot#exo imagine
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Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Six - Mended Bonds
Word Count: 1.2K
Summary: Aria struggles with the aftermath of her sister leaving and must deal with the backlash it causes. She seeks comfort from the person she trusts the most.
Warnings: Angst, arguments and cursing.
A/N: Sorry this one is short, but I promise that the next one will be a lot longer and steamier ;)
Lover Boy Series Masterlist
It’s hard to see a sibling have to leave the nest. Whether it’s moving, going off to college, or whatever the reason may be. I remember crying when my brother went off to college. My sister never left since she was local. Now I’m about to cry as I drop her off at the ferry. Normally, the younger sibling would be saying goodbye, but instead I’m helping her runaway, so she could be safe and happy. I promised to help her run away to Boston, so she could be with her lover and raise her child with him. I have done everything I needed to do to make sure everything would work out.
I didn’t think saying goodbye would’ve been so hard. But then again, it didn’t surprise me. We had just opened up to each other and become close again, only to say goodbye to each other. I wish we could’ve sticked together throughout all of our childhood. All that matters now is not only is she safe, but the two of us have finally mended our relationship.
I stand at the docks of the ferry as Jennifer checks to see if she had everything she needed. She always has a mental checklist of everything. “I think that’s everything.” She says after checking her purse for her plane ticket and such. There’s nothing but silence for a moment. I’m afraid to speak. Jennifer finally breaks the silence. “Thank you, Aria. I mean it. You didn’t have to do any of this.” “No, but I wanted to. You deserve a better life for both you and your baby, and you’re not going to find that here.” This makes her smile. She pulls me into a tight hug. “Anyone would be lucky to have you as their little sister. I just wish I was more appreciative of you.” “That’s all in the past now. I’m just glad we were able to move past it.”
“I’m sorry for calling you pogue slut.” Her voice shakes, but I just laugh. If she knew about the things JJ and I did behind closed doors, I don’t think she would’ve taken that back. “I forgive you, and so does JJ.” She laughs. “It all makes sense now. Why you got so mad at Samantha and choked on tapioca pearls. I legit thought you found him so hot you choked on your drink and become jealous when she continued to check him out. Talk about calling dibs.” The two of laugh, still holding each other close. “I love you sis.” She says. I almost broke down right there. It has been years since she told me that. “I love you too.” I was finally able to let her go happy, with no regrets or fears of where we stand.
Back home on the other hand, was a different story. My father was furious, my mom was heartbroken, my brother was confused and I was guilty. Jennifer had written a letter for them before she left. It basically said that she was leaving and probably not coming back for a while, but not to worry she was safe. That she could no longer live with her father, due to his cruelty and cold-hearted nature, and Rafe’s abusive and selfish behavior. Now, we sit at the dinner table, an awkward silence casting over us. My father’s fist were clenched.
“We shouldn’t be sitting here having dinner, we should be looking for her.” He suggests angrily. “She doesn’t want to be found dad. You’ll only make it worst if you try to find her.” Damien objects, much to Claude’s dismay. “I don’t care if she wants to be found or not. This looks bad. Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation? Have you heard the rumors floating around the neighborhood?” Claude wasn’t lying about the rumors. Jennifer leaving has been the talk of figure eight. The neighborhood was having a field day gossiping, which spread like wildfire. Unfortunately, that’s all my dad seemed to care about.
“You brought this upon yourself Claude! You’re the reason why she left, you’re the last person she wants to see.” Elaine says with such hatred towards him, yet she does have a point. I awkwardly play with the vegetables on my plate, as I sit there drowning in my own guilt. I feel like I’m ripping my whole family apart. My father notices my strange demeanor. “You’ve been awfully quiet about this whole situation Aria. Is there something you’d like to say? Do you know something we don’t?” “Oh, stop jumping to conclusions! You’re being ridiculous!” My mom jumps in to defend me. “No! Let her speak. If you got something to say Aria, say it!”
“Fine! You really want to know what I have to say about this? I think it’s fucked up of you as a father to push your daughter into a relationship she didn’t want to be in the first place, despite the fact you knew Rafe was abusing her, all so you could be on Ward Cameron’s good side! It’s clear that you love your reputation more than your own children, and Jennifer had enough of it! You’re pushing all of your kids away and it’s not fair to any of us!” Everyone was surprised by the way I raised my voice at the dinner table. I couldn’t stand to be there for one more second, so I left crying.
Not knowing where else to go, I drove to the one place where I would find the person who I seek the most comfort from. I park a little way down from the chateau, not wanting the rest of the Pogues to know I’m here. I sneak around the house until a reach the window to JJ’s room, I see that he’s not in there, but that doesn’t stop me from entering. I always loved being in his room. Everything about it screamed JJ. The posters of his favorite bands, the clothes and beer bottles that littered some of floor, the few sexy bikini model photos hung up and the faint smell of weed lingering.
I discard my clothing and put on one of his t-shirts, before crawling into his bed, wanting to hide from the rest of the cruel world. I lay there for a while, letting my tears stain his pillow case, trying to keep the volume of my crying down to a minimum. I heard footsteps coming near the door and JJ’s voice. “Alright man see you in the morning.” A shirtless JJ opens the door and is surprised to find me in his bed. He is immediately worried when he sees my red teary eyes and quickly shuts the door.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He quickly gathered me up into his naked warm arms. I hide my face in his bare chest. “Can I stay here for the night?” I asked. “Of course, baby.” He kisses the top of my head before crawling under the covers with me. He pulls me in close as I snuggle into him, my racing heart finally begins to calm down. “Do you want to talk about it?” He rubbed soothing circles on my hip. “No, just hold me please.” For the rest of the night I just laid there in his arms, listening to his calming heartbeat. Letting it guide me into a peaceful slumber.
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Tougher Stuff
Tougher Stuff - Kidge Month Day 27 Prompt Fill
Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Pairing: Kidge
Summary: Tragedy is sometimes unavoidable in life. And, sometimes, that, means having to say goodbye to beloved family members and dear friends before you’re ready to.
Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more.
She’d just picked up the blowtorch when there was an unholy shriek from inside the house proper. In a flash, she had abandoned the item on her desk, grateful she hadn’t turned it on yet, and tore off through the propped open door. She knew all too well who had made that sound! “I’m coming, Ari!” she shouted as she rounded the corner and skid to a stop right in front of the living room, nearly crashing into the little five year old. Her daughter was standing at the mouth to the room, eyes wide in horror, tears filling her eyes.
There, strewn about the living room, were pieces of dark brown fabric and tufts of stuffing. And in the center of the room, bowed playfully with his tail up right and wagging like mad, was Wink, chewing on the head of whichever stuffed pal he’d mutilated. It took Pidge a moment, completely stunned by the dog and what he’d done and how it impacted her youngest, before she put thing in perspective. For Ari, this was most likely akin to a graphic scene in some horror film, where the killer mutilates the protagonist’s friends and leaves their pieces scarred like a warning. “M-Macaroon,” Ari squeaked out, sounding so completely heartbroken that it made Pidge’s heart ache.
And then, she launched into Mommy Mode.
“Wink! Bad dog!” she snapped angrily, marching toward the blue and beige speckled mutt. He perked up, brown eyes gleaming in delight, before his whole posture sagged. She could see the exact moment he realized that he was, in fact, being naughty and decided to bail. As she reached to grab his scruff, he disappeared in a shimmer of blue and silver light, leaving behind the head of his victim. She knelt down and picked it up, recognizing it as Macaroon the Otter, a favorite of Ari’s. She’d named him that because she thought the little clam shell he was actually a pastry.
Oh boy was that dog was gonna get it when she got a hold of him.
“C-Can we save him? L-Like we did w-w-with Scruffles?” Ari whimpered, stepping forward to stand beside her Mom. A few weeks back, Wink had done the same thing with another of her plush toys, Scruffles the Squirrel, but Keith had caught him quickly after. He hadn’t been able to do too much damage to Scruffles and Keith had simply had to re-stuff and stitch her tail back up.
Pidge jumped a bit before looking around at all the scattered chunks of plush parts. For as skilled as Keith was when it came to sewing, even she had her doubts on how he could bring Macaroon into any semblance of acceptable. “Oh, baby girl, I’m so sorry,” she said, reaching over to pull her into her arms.
Aria latched on to her and started full on sobbing. Pidge set the head down and pulled her daughter in close, pushing upright and started walking out of the room, trying to get an idea of where the dog had taken off to. Then, she realized, she knew exactly who to ask; the child that had volunteered to handle training him after the last incident.
“Newt, get down here!” she shouted, leaning into the staircase to be sure he heard her. She started to head back to the living room, to try and figure out what to do with Macaroon’s remains, when the front door opened.
Keith perked up and looked at her curiously as he held the door for Amber and Kaden, who came marching in wearing their respective soccer uniforms and made a mad dash for the kitchen. “Hey, what’s going on?” he asked, shrugging off the duffel bag, ditching it by the door and approaching quick, reaching out to gently stroking Ari’s back.
“Oh, wow,” Kaden said quietly, pausing in his quest to stare at the mess Wink made.
“That would certainly explain it,” Amber agreed as she approached, offering him a water bottle. She then turned to look over at Keith. “Looks like Wink got one of her toys.”
A loud, heartbroken wail came from Ari at her sister’s announcement, sending Pidge right into trying to soothe her again. “It was Macaroon,” she mouth to him over her daughter’s head.
His eyes widened before he frowned and looked around, trying to see if he could easily find the dog himself. When he didn’t see him, he turned his head towards the stairs. “Newt! Front and center!” he called, reaching the same conclusion as his wife.
“I heard you the first time!” he called back in an annoyed whine, appearing at the top of the staircase. As he headed down, though, he seemed to realize that something was wrong. “Whatever it is, it’s not my fault.”
“Oh, that’s debatable, buddy,” Pidge said with a puff of a laugh.
He tilted his head at her, scowling. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Go look in the living room and tell me what you think it means, Mr. Sass E. Pants,” she quipped back, nodding with her head.
He walked over and peered in before heading back over to his parents, looking completely unperturbed. “Well, that looks like Ari left her bedroom door open and Wink got frisky. It’s not my fault that she left it open like a doof,” he scoffed.
“I did not!” Ari snapped, lifting her head head from Pidge’s shoulder to glare at him.
“Probably did,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Did not! I made sure to shut my door so Wink couldn’t go in!”
“Unless he teleported his way in,” Kaden pointed out. They all turned to face him, Newt sporting a glare. “It’s just a possibility! I mean, he teleports outside when he needs to go the bathroom all the time!”
Keith looked down at Newt. “Which is part of our problem with him right now. Which you’re supposed to be working with him on,”
“I’ve been busy!” Newt whined back in protest. “Besides, Ari has a bajillion stuffed animals! Is it really such a big deal if Wink chews up one or two?”
Pidge could feel her daughter trembling at her brother’s statement, and she prepared herself for a new bout of tears and having to give him a tongue lashing. Instead, however, Ari took a deep breath before leaning over her shoulder to shriek, “You’re just being a big stinky meanie because you’re a bad doggy trainer!”
None of the rest of the family knew how to react, gawking at her in pure shock. Ari wasn’t normally one for fits of rage, big or small.
She took in a shuddering breath and, the anger seeming to zap her energy with how infrequently she used it, slumped back into her Mom with a quiet, sad whimper. “Oh, sweetheart,” she said quietly, pressing a kiss to her temple and tightening her grip on her a bit. She peered back to see her youngest son looking rather stunned by the whole thing.
“She called you out,” Amber sang in clear amusement, cutting off and looking away with Pidge gave her a look.
Keith motioned Pidge away and she made her way upstairs with their daughter, figuring she needed some time away from her siblings to calm back down. “Newt, she has a point. If you aren’t going to train Wink like you said you would if we kept him, we’ll have to find him a new home,” Keith said.
Newt’s panicked protest was cut off as she made it up the stairs and started down the hallway. She made a quick stop by the bathroom to grab a few tissues before continuing on her path. She walked down and was unsurprised to see that, as Ari said, her bedroom door was closed up. She opened it and headed inside, glancing around the room in hopes there wouldn’t be more fluff all over the place, and breathing a sigh of relief when there was none. Ari’s little tea party area, though, had clearly been massacred by something; the little plastic toy pot and other dishes knocked over, and one of the little chairs toppled over on its side.
If she wagered a guess, that one was probably where Macaroon had been sitting before the attack happened.
She sat down on Ari’s bed, pressing her back against the headboard, and cradled her close. Ari slipped a bit lower so her head rested against Pidge’s collarbone, allowing her a better view of her daughter’s face. She was still quietly hiccupping and her eyes were watering up, but she had calmed down significantly. Pidge set the tissues on the bedside table before picking one up, wiping the space between her nose and upper lip, folding the tissue over and then holding it up to her nose. “Here, baby doll, let’s get all that icky stuff out of there so you can breathe better,” she cooed softly.
Ari did as she was told and then slumped against her again. “I said something mean to Newt, didn’t I?” she mumbled quietly, tone morose and guilt-ridden.
“A little bit. What he said to you wasn’t nice, either. You’ll both need to apologize to each other later,” she said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She nodded before glancing back over at her tea party area. She mumbled something to quiet to be heard. “What was that sweetie?” she asked softly.
“Macaroon was special,” she choked out, her voice catching. She could tell that meant she was about to start on a whole new batch of tears. “Like how Muffin is special and Waffles is special and my Nanny blankie is special.”
Pidge paused for a moment, brow furrowing as she tried to wrack her brain for what Ari meant. Stuffed animals, as everyone in their family had learned, were a great gift for her. She loved things that were plush and snuggly, and she especially loved the ones she got as a gift. But, as she herself had mentioned, there were certain toys that held more importance for Ari because of when and who gave them to her.
Her Nanny blankie, as she’d taken to calling it, was the blanket Colleen had knitted for her while Pidge was still pregnant with her. Muffin was by far her most favorite stuffed animal; a dinosaur plush that Keith had bought for her right when Pidge found out she was pregnant again. Waffles, a close second for her favorite, was a little crochet alligator that Hunk had made for her for her second birthday. But Macaroon? Pidge tilted her head back a bit as she tried to remember when she’d gotten Macaroon.
And then it hit her. Ari’s preschool class had been planning a trip to the zoo last year, but when the day arrived, Ari had to stay hope with the flu. She’d been inconsolable for days after the trip until Krolia, who had come by for one of her visits, had volunteered to take her youngest grandchild to the zoo, just the two of them. The otters had been both of their favorite spot that day and, as they left, Krolia purchased the toy for her as a memento.
“Oh, baby girl,” she said softly, pulling her in close again. Krolia visited as often as she could, but with she and Kolivan leading the reformed Galra Empire, it wasn’t always possible. Of course that made Macaroon mean something more to Ari, with how sentimental the little tot was. She rubbed her back again and settled in to try and calm her back down as she started back up again.
After a few minutes, Keith poked his head in. “We, uh... We thought that a funeral might be a good idea,” he said quietly.
Pidge perked up then looked down at their daughter. “How does that sound, sweetie?”
Ari sniffled a bit before nodding meekly. “I-I wanna pick where we bury him. He’ll need a really pretty spot,” she mumbled.
“Of course, sweetie,” Keith said softly, holding the door open so the two could head out.
She ended up picking a spot under the big maple tree in the backyard, where there’d be a good amount of shade. Macaroon liked shady spots, after all. Amber dug the hole while Ari clutched to the shoe box Keith had put Macaroon’s remains in. Well, excluding the little plush clam he used to hold; that had been found mostly intact, and he planned to stitch it back up so she’d still have something to remember him by. Kaden placed the box in the hole for his sister, seeing how distressed the idea made her, and Pidge placed one red rose from the garden on top. Newt gave a surprisingly heartfelt speech about Macaroon before they placed the dirt back in place.
While everyone else went back inside, Aria insisted she wanted to stay put a little longer. Pidge gently took her daughter’s hand and stood vigil with her.
#Voltron legendary defender#Keidge#Kidge#Peith#Kidgemas#MonthofKidge#MonthofKidge2019#KidgeaPalooza#KidgeaPalooza2019#Pidge Gunderson#Keith Kogane#my fics#Run to You by Pentatonix plays softly in the background#This whole fic is just#Fucking Extra okay?
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oblivion
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In his dreams, the tether slips from his grasp.
He sees a flash of blue, of fear, behind a panic-fogged visor, and hears his own scream echoing in his ears as his world is torn from him, tossed about like a ragdoll by the merciless force of gravity before vanishing, swallowed in bright blue light.
Blue like his eyes, those eyes that had held such terror in those final moments. Those eyes that he will never see again.
In his dreams, he screams and screams and screams and screams, until his agonized wails are reduced to nothing but voiceless whimpers and then, and then-
He wakes, sobbing into his pillow in an empty bed.
Yuuri misses the days when waking from a nightmare brought a sense of relief. When he was able to catch his breath upon waking from whatever horrors his subconscious mind had shown him and realize, it’s not real, it was just a dream, none of it happened, everything is okay.
He misses the days when he didn’t have to calm himself down after nightmares, when there were arms around him the moment he opened his eyes, arms pulling him close, a warm body holding him, the softest voice in his ear reassuring him, telling him he was safe and loved. He misses that most of all.
But those days are over now. There are no arms around him, there is no sense of relief, no escape from the nightmare that plays in his head, over and over every night.
Because it wasn’t just a dream.
Victor is gone, really gone, truly gone, and he can’t wake up from this reality he’s living in, this reality where the man he loves was torn from his grasp, ripped violently out of the known universe, lost to him, probably forever. He can’t escape the pain, the constant dull ache in his chest in the shape of his husband. He can’t tell himself it’s okay, because it’s not, because it will likely never be okay again.
There’s no escape, no denial.
The nightmare he’s living is real, and worst of all… it’s all his fault.
______________
In his dreams, he sees the man with the silver hair.
It isn’t every night. Some nights, his mama tucks him into bed with a kiss and he dreams of other things, like dinosaurs or flying puppies or big scary monsters chasing him. Other nights, he dreams of nothing at all. But the man always comes back eventually.
The man looks strange, but not in a scary way. Just different. Like the people who come to visit the onsen sometimes, the ones his papa calls foreigners. The foreigners are often loud, drinking too much and making demands in broken Japanese, or not bothering to use Japanese at all. Many of them have unpleasant looks about them, causing Yuuri to hide behind his mama’s legs when they come to coo over him.
The silver-haired man is not unpleasant, or loud. When he speaks, his Japanese is perfect, if strangely accented, and his voice is soft and kind. He doesn’t make demands. He only ever talks, asks Yuuri about his day, plays games with him if Yuuri asks.
Yuuri is happy when he dreams about the silver-haired man. But sometimes the man looks so sad. One night, Yuuri is telling him about his first ballet class with Minako-sensei when he notices a single tear slide down his cheek. Yuuri falls silent at the sight; he’s never seen a grown-up cry before.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, and the man looks startled for a moment, his hand flying to his cheek before he even seems to realize he was crying in the first place.
“Oh,” he says, smiling a strange smile as he wipes the tear away. “I’m sorry. I’m fine, Yuuri, really. You were telling me about Minako-san’s studio…?”
Yuuri feels troubled, reminded of Mari when she gets sad but doesn’t want to say why. “My papa always says you should talk about it if you’re sad.”
The man laughs. “Your papa is a wise man.” His smile falls, and he draws his knees into his chest, looking sadder than ever. “I really am fine, Yuuri. I just get a bit lonely sometimes.”
“... Lonely?” Yuuri had never considered that dream-people could be lonely. “Don’t you have a family? Or friends?”
“I do,” the man says quietly. “But they all live very far away, somewhere I can’t see them.”
The man tilts his head down, and Yuuri can no longer see his face behind a curtain of silver fringe. He wishes he could do something to help. His mama gives him hugs when he gets sad, but Yuuri knows from several failed games of tag that you can’t touch dream-people. So instead, he sits down next to the man and gathers up all his courage.
“Then I will be your friend!”
The man looks up, surprised. Bolstered by the temporary absence of sadness in his eyes, Yuuri continues.
“Yuuko-chan is my friend! And Minako-sensei is my friend, even though she’s my teacher now! And she’s even older than you, which means that you can be my friend too!”
To Yuuri’s delight, the man actually laughs, a small, affectionate smile playing across his features.
“So? Can we be friends?”
“Of course we can, Yuuri,” he says. “I’d like that a lot.”
When he wakes the next morning, he realizes he does not know his new friend’s name, or even if dream-people have names. He asks his mama and papa at breakfast, but they just smile and ruffle his hair affectionately. Mari calls him a weirdo and tells him to name his own imaginary friend.
Yuuri thinks it would be quite rude to do that, so he decides to simply wait and ask the man the next time he sees him. For three nights, Yuuri sleeps dreamlessly, but on the fourth, the man appears again, looking far happier than he had before.
Not wanting to forget again, Yuuri makes sure to ask his name as soon as he appears.
“Victor,” the man smiles. “My name is Victor.”
“Victor,” Yuuri repeats, the syllables sounding slightly different on his tongue, but the man keeps smiling anyways, and they spend the rest of the dream talking and playing like they always do.
When Yuuri wakes, he feels happy. His friend does have a name, after all.
“Victor,” he tries again, still half-asleep but content. “Victor.”
______________________
“Victor!” Yuuri screams, sitting bolt upright in bed, tears streaming down his face.
His hand is still outstretched, as it had been in the dream, as it had been the day he lost him. He can still feel Victor’s tether in his grip like a phantom pain, feel it slipping out of his grasp, feel his utter helplessness in the face of the Aurora’s pull.
If he’d only been stronger, if he’d only held on for a few more seconds, they could have saved him. Mere seconds after Yuuri’s grip had faltered, the Aria’s engines had come back online, pushing them back out of the Aurora’s gravitational field.
Just a few seconds longer, and they could have pulled him back to safety. Just a few seconds longer, and Victor would still be here with him. But he’d failed. The tether had slipped away, and Victor with it, lost to the void, possibly forever.
Just a few seconds longer.
Yuuri lets his outstretched hand drop down to the mattress, buries his head in his knees, and cries.
“Victor,” he sobs, curling up as if making himself smaller will ease the terrible ache of guilt in his chest. “Victor, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
For a long while, the only sound to be heard in the bedroom is Yuuri’s weeping, interspersed every so often with sobbed-out apologies to a man who can no longer hear them. Then, there is a creak, and the familiar tingling of tags, before something cold and wet touches the inside of Yuuri’s elbow.
He sits up and sniffles, blinking his tears away to see two pairs of big brown eyes looking up at him. Makkachin stands on her hind legs, front paws resting against Yuuri’s side of the mattress, whining softly as she nudges him again.
“Hey, girl,” Yuuri murmurs, giving her a quick pat on the head. “It’s okay, you can come up.”
She does so immediately, hopping up onto the bed and immediately curling up on Victor’s- on the empty side.
“You too,” Yuuri says to the smaller dog, still on the floor. His front paws rest against the base of the bed, and he whines in frustration, too small to hop up on his own.
Yuuri bends down to pick him up, cradling his tiny, fluffy form close to his chest. “Morning, Vicchan,” he tells the little poodle, his voice shaking only slightly.
He gives the dog a kiss on the forehead, and in turn, Vicchan stretches up as far as he can to lick some of the tears off Yuuri’s cheeks. Yuuri lets out a giggle that sounds just a little too close to a sob as he hugs his dog.
He isn’t the Victor Yuuri needs right now, to kiss away his tears and reassure him that everything will be alright, but he’ll do.
______________________
Yuuri is so excited the night of his thirteenth birthday that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep. A soft snoring from across the room emanates from the dog bed his parents had put in, and the sound is so cute he’s half-tempted to get out of bed and cuddle the tiny creature within to kingdom come, but he forces himself to stay put.
The puppy needs his sleep, after all, and so does Yuuri. There’s someone important he needs to share his good news with.
It takes him a while to calm himself enough to properly drift off, but soon enough his eyes slip shut and he finds himself in a familiar place.
His dreams always begin here, in an empty white space, surrounded by a dense fog. He takes a step forward, then another, then another. It never seems to matter which direction he goes; as long as he keeps walking, he always manages to find what - or rather, who - he’s looking for.
Tonight, it only takes a little bit of searching before a familiar shape becomes visible through the fog. A smile spreads across Yuuri’s face and he picks up the pace, jogging the final few steps between him and his friend.
“Victor! Victor, guess what!”
As soon as Victor comes into view, the smile falls from Yuuri’s face. It’s a bad day. Victor is huddled on the floor, staring dead-eyed into the whiteness that surrounds him.
This isn’t the first time Yuuri has found him like this. It isn’t a common occurrence, but every so often the Victor who Yuuri encounters in his dreams isn’t his usual chipper self. He seems distant, sad, afraid, any number of things before he notices Yuuri’s presence, only to immediately snap out of it when he realizes he’s not alone.
Today is no exception. As soon as he catches sight of Yuuri, the empty look leaves his eyes to be replaced by a brilliant, heart-shaped smile.
“Yuuri!” He uncurls from his position on the floor, stands, and waves as Yuuri approaches. Despite his smile, Yuuri can just make out a flicker of something terribly sad in those bright blue eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asks, slowing down as he approaches.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Victor insists, as he always does when Yuuri plucks up the courage to ask. “Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?”
Yuuri’s concern for his friend vanishes in a moment, eclipsed by his excitement. “My parents got me a puppy!”
His smile brightens, seeming more genuine now. “Oh, Yuuri, that’s wonderful! Happy birthday!”
Yuuri feels his brow furrow. “How did you know it was my-”
“So, tell me all about it!” Victor plows over his question in a burst of exuberance, sitting down cross-legged on the floor and patting the ground for Yuuri to sit, too. “What’s its name? What breed is it?”
“He’s… he’s a miniature poodle.” Yuuri says, feeling his cheeks flush preemptively to his next words. “I named him, uh… well, I named him Victor. After you.”
The heat in his cheeks spreads to his whole face as soon as the words leave his lips, and he looks at the white floor beneath them. God, what an embarrassing thing to say! It’s the truth, of course, but still, what on earth had possessed him to admit it right to Victor’s face?
Mari had been the first to make the connection when Yuuri had announced the puppy’s name at breakfast the day before.
“Victor?” she’d asked, not unkindly. “Wasn’t that the name of your imaginary friend when you were little?”
He had learned long ago that dream-people were not a normal occurrence, that not everyone had a stranger who spoke to them in their sleep on a regular basis. He had also learned that repeatedly talking about dream-people seemed to lead those around him to believe he had an overactive imagination, or worse.
So, Yuuri had feigned ignorance. “What imaginary friend?” he had scoffed. “I just like the name, is all.”
Mari had raised her eyebrows, but had otherwise kept her skepticism to herself - to Yuuri’s immense relief- and the subject had been dropped as Vicchan the poodle rolled adorably on his back to beg for belly rubs.
The thought strikes Yuuri now that he really should have said the same to Victor. Claimed that he just liked the name, or that that was the name the shelter had given him already, or just made up a different name to tell Victor entirely. Any of that would be less embarrassing than admitting he’d named his dog after the man!
He’s still flushed red and looking determinedly at the floor, willing himself to wake up so that he can get out of this awkward situation, when Victor finally speaks.
“After me, huh?” This is not the response Yuuri had been expecting, prompting him to finally remove his gaze from the floor and back to the man sitting across from him. His eyes are distant again, something strange flickering behind them. It’s not sadness like it was before, it’s… something else. Curiosity, perhaps? Suspicion? “I’d always assumed it was a coincidence…”
Before Yuuri can ask what he means by that, Victor snaps out of whatever stupor he had been in, that same wide smile on his face. “Sorry, Yuuri! I don’t know what came over me, there.”
“What do you mean by-?”
“Nothing, nothing,” he insists, waving a hand in the air dismissively. “Just me being silly. Victor is an excellent name for a poodle, Yuuri. Does he know any tricks yet?”
Yuuri can’t help but feel like there’s something Victor isn’t telling him, but he’s too excited to talk about his new puppy to pursue it any further. Instead, he spends the rest of the night telling Victor about every facet of his new puppy’s existence, from the early struggles of housetraining to all the tricks he wants his Vicchan to learn.
Victor seems only too content to talk about dogs, his face growing sad only when he peppers in anecdotes about training his own dog, Makkachin. But as the morning approaches, and Yuuri starts to feel the telltale tug of wakefulness pulling at him, Victor grows serious again.
“Yuuri,” he begins with uncertainty, face half-hidden behind his bangs. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“You said you named your new puppy after me” Yuuri nods, flushing again involuntarily. But his embarrassment is cut short by what Victor asks next. “Does that mean… do you remember this, when you wake up? Remember me?”
“Yeah.”
“…Oh.”
The look on Victor’s face is as raw as it is inscrutable. The mist is filling his vision again, but Yuuri tries to read him anyways. Is he angry? Disappointed? Shocked? Before he has time to figure it out, Victor is completely shrouded in grey once more.
Yuuri can hear something distantly, the faint beep of his alarm clock pulling him back to the real world. It nearly drowns out the last words Victor says before he wakes.
“...Why didn’t you stop me?”
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Back to you: Chapter 4 part 2 One Call Away
Summary: Leo is back, and Liam is in hot water. Aria finds comfort from an unlikely source. Coronation day finally arrives, and Aria receives a threat. This chapter picks up right where part one left off.. You can read that HERE.
Book: The Royal Romance
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixleberry, except those created for my story.
Rating: Mature. contains fluff and NSFW.
Pairings: Liam&Aria(mc) Leo&Aria, Liam&Olivia
Song inspiration: One call away - Charlie Puth
Tag list: @scarlettedragon @annekebbphotography @speedyoperarascalparty @bobasheebaby @greyeyedsmile14 @stopforamoment @mind-reader1 @xxrainbowprincessxx
“If I had a dollar for every time I heard that.” Drake chuckled as he took a swig of his whiskey. “What ol’ pretty boy do now?“ He asked. "I don’t wanna talk about it.” Aria mumbles holding the glass to her chest. “Well I think that’s a record for Leo. You just met him and he’s pissed you off already.” Drake teases pushing on Aria’s arm. “Who said we just met,” Aria says as she finishes her glass, “but that’s for another night. ” With a shocked look on his face he watches Aria as she walks away.
“Aria!” Hana squeals as she staggers up and hugs her. “Hana how many cups of Maxwell’s maniacal punch have you had?” Aria jokes as she tries to hold Hana up. “Whaaaat, I have been drinking regular punch, like 3 cups.” She hiccups holding 5 fingers up in the air. “Ok Han, I think you should go sit down with Kiara. Aria motions to the chairs across the room. She walks a staggering Hana across the room and helps her into the chair. "Oh hey have you seen Liam?” She asks. “Umm oh yeah he went that way with Olivia.” Hana giggles “Oliva is such a meanie head.” “I could think of a few other words for her.” Aria chuckles as she turns and heads towards where Hana pointed.
She enters a hallway and wanders down a ways until she comes to a back stairwell. As she gets closer she realizes there is someone back there. She peeks her head around the corner and her eyes go wide. She lets out a silent gasp and covers her mouth. Behind the stairs is Liam up against the wall, His head tilted back his eyes closed. Olivia is on her knees. Her head bobbing up and down, Liam’s length in her mouth. Tears start to fill her eyes. She turns and runs down the hall and out into the ballroom. Leo stops her, “hey, hey what’s wrong? He asks taking her hands in his. "I.. I.. i just found Olivia sucking Liam’s dick.” Aria sobs. “Oh Aria, I’m really sorry. Can I do anything to make you feel better?” Leo asked pulling a strand of hair away from her face. “Why don’t we get out of here for a while?”
Aria looks up at Leo, his sparkling blue eyes hypnotising her. She musters up a half hearted smile and grabs his hand. They exit through the front door, no one noticed them leaving. “Where to?” Leo asked handing her a helmet. “Anywhere but here.” Aria said putting her helmet on. She hopped on the back of his bike, wrapping her arms tight around his waist. Leo kicked the bike to life and off they went.
The all too familiar feeling came back to her. High off adrenaline and nostalgia she watched the scenery rip past them, she felt free if only for a moment. After a 20 minute ride they pulled up to a spot by the coast. “Just through there.” Leo said pointing to the patch between some trees. He grabbed her hand and led the way. After a short walk the came to an opening. A cliff overlooking the ocean, waves crashing at the bottom. The moon was so bright it glistening off the water. “Wow.” Aria admired the beautiful scene before her. “I would come up here and think when something was bothering me.” Leo said walking up to her, putting his hand on her lower back.
Aria stared at the waves. “I don’t know what bothers me more, the fact that he did it or that it was with Olivia.” She sighs letting her hands fall to the side. “I mean really how different is it, us having sex?” Aria said walking over to sit on a fallen tree. Leo scrunches his face at the mention of them sleeping together. “Do I even have a right to be mad?” Aria questions turning toward Leo. Leo walks over, "well, on one hand you care about him and caught him with another woman. On another hand you guys aren’t official yet.” He says sitting next to her on the log. ���No I guess we aren’t official.” She sighs hanging her head down. “I guess we never talked about boundaries. The thought never occurred to me if he slept with me, he was probably doing the same with the others.” Aria shakes her head.
Leo sighs unsure of what to say. “So you two slept together huh?” She looks up at Leo, “it was just one time.” Aria whispers. She felt a hint of guilt telling him, she could see the hurt in his eyes. She knew he cared about her all those years ago but what should any of that matter now? Her mind wandered back to that summer. When she thought she had to leave him behind in Italy…
“Leo, stop it. I will never get this suitcase packed if you keep doing that.” Aria giggled trying to shoo him away. “Maybe I don’t want you to finish. ” Leo teases as he kisses the back of her neck. “Besides Ellie isn’t even packed yet, she’s out with someone having fun” pulling at the strap of her shirt exposing her shoulder. “We should have some fun too. ” He whispers in her ear as he kisses her bare shoulder. “What am I going to do with you?” Aria turns to Leo. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him gently on the lips. “I am going to miss you so much.” She sighed kissing him again. “Well, you won’t have to worry about that because I decided I’m coming to Paris with you.” Leo said tucking a stray hair behind her ear. A wide smile spreads across her face. She pushes Leo back onto the bed and jumps on top of him. She kisses him hard. “You know your some kind of wonderful Leo Rhys.” Aria says as she lays down next to him, “I know, but let me show you just how wonderful I am.” Leo says trailing kisses down her arm. “Ok you can show me, after we pack for Paris.” Aria says pulling Leo up and off the bed. “Fine, fine.” He admits defeat..but once we do, you’re mine.”…..
“I think you should talk to him.” Leo says pulling her out of her thoughts. “Yeah, you’re probably right, but not tonight.” “We should be getting back. I will talk to him before the coronation.” Aria lamented standing up. “Aria wait.” Leo puts his hand on hers. “Look, I know I screwed up back then. I can’t take that back.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I just want you to know, that no matter happens with Liam, I am here for you. I always will be, I’m only one call away.” He smiles at her. “Thank you Leo, I could always count on you you have my back.” Aria whispered as she placed a gentle kiss in his cheek. “My personal superman.”
*****
Back at the Beaumont estate the party had died down considerably. Maxwell was still dancing in the middle of the floor and Hana and Kiara had passed out in the corner. Penelope had her arm draped over a horse, having a very intimate conversation. Bertrand was slumped against the banister, a bottle of champagne in one hand. There were crushed apples everywhere. Peacocks were running wild. There was no sign of Liam or Oliva which was a relief. Liam wanted me to meet him tonight.. that so wasn’t happening she thought to herself. She headed up to her room and went to sleep.
Leo made his way to the study, he knew Liam would be there and he needed to have a conversation with his brother. Leo tapped on the door and stuck his head in. “Mind if I join you?” He question walking in the room. Liam shrugged, looking out the window. He took a sip of his brandy. “So father tells me you’re sticking around for a while.” Liam said still looking out the window. “Yeah, that was the plan.” Leo pours a glass of brandy for himself. “Katie and I got a divorce. ” Leo sighed as he tosses himself into a chair. “She just wasn’t…” before he could finish his sentence Liam finishes it for him, “she wasn’t Aria!” His back still turned. Leo took a swig of his brandy failing to answer him.
Annoyed at his silence Liam tensed his shoulders, turning to his brother. “You want to talk about what your really doing here Leo?” Liam accused with his jaw clenched. He could tell by the way he looked at Aria that they were a lot more than friends once,and Leo was supposed to only be there for the Masquerade. “Not unless you want to talk about the blow job you got from Oliva tonight,” Leo taunted gulping down his drink. He stood up from his seat and turned to walk away. “Oh by the way, Aria saw you two.” Leo informed him as he closed the door.
Liams face went white. “Dammit.” He whispered gulping down the glass of brandy. “DAMMIT!” He yelled tossing the glass across the room shattering it into a million pieces. He slumped into the chair. How was he going to get out of this one he wondered.. One bad decision could ruin his chances with the only woman be cared about. Damn Maxwell’s punch, damn Olivia seducing him. Was a moment of mediocre pleasure worth it? Liam was heading back to the palace in the morning to prepare for the coronation, he would need to talk to her soon.
***
A few days later it was finally coronation day. Bertrand was on cloud nine. He was positive Liam would pick Aria. Aria wasn’t so sure. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to anymore. She knew she needed to talk to him and tonight was the only chance she would get. Hana and Aria arrived at the palace and headed to the boutique to get their dresses. A palace courier stops her and hands her an envelope. Thinking it was from Liam she exhales a breath she didn’t know she was holding, and opens the envelope.
The prince will never be yours. Leave the palace now or suffer the consequences.
the letter read
This couldn’t have been from Liam, she needed to get this to Bertrand. “Hey Hana, you go ahead I need to catch up with Bertrand really quick.” She rushes off and finds Bertrand in his room. Aria gives him the letter and Bertrand insist he will look into who sent her such a threatening letter.
Aria returns to the boutique to meet Hana. “Aria you look like a princess, Liam is a lucky man.“ Hannah gushed grabbing Aria’s hands as she steps out of the dressing room. She looks into the mirror. She did look like a princess, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel like one. Aria sighs and sits down on the bench. Noticing her sadness Hana sits down with her. “Aria what’s wrong?” She questioned. Aria looks at Hana, “I caught Liam with Olivia last night in a very compromising position.” Aria alleged. “Oh.. OH my.” Hana gasped pulling her hand over her mouth. The sound of trumpets interrupt them, “it’s time to go.” Aria stated as she got up and walked to the door. Hana gave her an apologetic look before joining her.
The suitors stood in line to give the prince a gift. She did not want to do it, but Bertrand insisted it was custom for all suitors to present a token. Aria stood there, her nerves a wreck. Ready to bail she noticed a comforting face behind Liam and immediately calmed her down. Leo was true to his word, he would be there for her when she needed, and tonight she needed him. “Lady Aria.” Liam whispered, a look of embarrassment in his face. “Your highness.” Aria dips into a curtsey and hands him a small box. Liam opened the box an awestruck look on his face. “I know how much she means to you.” Aria somberly whispered. It was a small key chain of lady liberty. “We should talk, please. Meet me in 20 minutes at the hedge maze.” Liam looked at her with searching eyes. “Fine.” Aria replied trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out.
Aria walks over to the bar, with shaking hands, she grabs a glass of champagne. A voice comes from behind and she smiles. “You look breathtaking tonight lady Aria.” Leo approved, while kissing her hand. Aria could feel herself blushing. “Always know what to say to make a girl blush.” Aria giggled. “I only speak the truth.” Leo grinned as he took a sip from his glass. “I’m meeting Liam to talk.” Aria sighs putting her hands on the table. Leo cocks his eye, “when?”
“Actually, now. I have to go, I’ll see you in a bit?” Aria looks to Leo. Leo nods and she heads to the maze.
She walks around aimlessly trying to find Liam when she stumbles upon him in the center. She stopped dead in her tracks, her feet refusing to move. “Aria I have so many things I need to say to you.” He babbles as he approaches her, reaching out for her hands. She finds her footing again stepping back and pulled them away. Tears start falling down her cheeks. “I saw you Liam, with Olivia.” She sobbed. A pained look spreads across Liam’s face. He couldn’t stand to see her hurt, but the truth was he was selfish. He knew better than to go to the stairwell, yet he agreed knowing what would happen. “You let her suck your dick Liam.” Aria cried harder. “We had sex in the hot tub in Lythikos.” She seethed, anger replacing sorrow. “Aria I am very sorry. I know it doesn’t change what happened. It was a moment of very bad alcohol infused judgement, but Olivia means nothing to me.” Liam begged. “I love you Aria, and if you would have me, I want to tell the world.” He confessed closing the distance between them. “I want nothing more then to spend the rest of my life with you.” Aria is taken aback. He loves her? Did He just propose?
Before she knew it her lips were on his. Liam wraps his arms around her waist and deepens the kiss. Arias hands venture lower unhooking his belt buckle and unzipping his pants as she pulls them down and leave them at his ankles. “Are you sure?” Liam asks. “Very.” She shows him by grabbing and jerking his large erection. Liam unzips her dress letting it fall off and pool around her. With his two hands he pulls down her underwear stopping to kiss the insides of her thighs, sending shivers down her back. His hands explore her body as he lays her softly on the ground. His fingers find their way to her center as he spreads her folds and teases her clit. Aria grabs a hold of his hard cock and jerks it a few more times before getting on her knees and taking it into her mouth. She flicked her tongue across the tip, and twisting it all the way down the shaft, then back up before taking the entire thing to the back of her throat. A low growl escapes Liam’s throat as he looks at her with hungry eyes.
Aria smiles up at him with him still in her mouth. She knew should was doing a better job then what Olivia could do and she was going to show him just that. She continues to suck and tease his hard length until he is at the edge. Not wanting to finish that way Liam pulls her up to his mouth and kisses her deep, he peppers kisses down her neck and chest. “We don’t have much time.” Aria pants. “We don’t need much time.” Liam grunts as he lays her on the ground climbing on top of her. He lines his shaft up to her center and pushes in. With hard fast strokes Liam grunts and moans. Aria wraps her legs around his waist allowing him a deeper stroke, her fingers dig into his back leaving marks. “Mmm Liam, oh,” she moans. His rhythm quickens and becomes wild before he spills himself into her. He climbs off and offers her a hand up. He kisses her tenderly on the lips as he helps her into her dress. “Sorry that was so rushed. Next time I promise to take my time with you,” Liam whispers in her ear as he kisses her cheek and zips her dress. “I need to tell you, I received a letter demanding I leave court. ” Aria muttered. “What?” A concerned look now replaced his relaxed expression.
They are interrupted by the sound of Bastien clearing his throat. “That’s our cue. Aria please do not worry about this, I will look into at once.” He assures her, as he takes her hand in his. “Come now, I have an announcement to make.” He kisses her once more before they head into the palace hand in hand.
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Sam and Alex fic idea! Ruby has a soccer game and invited Alex as a thank you for talking to her about Supergirl and ends up getting invited over for dinner at the Arias household afterwards but ends up paying more attention to her mom than to the food~ 😉
this…..turned out so much longer than i expected. i mentioned im a HUGE sucker for single parent AUs right? i am sO ABOUT THIS SHIP like i dont even watch the series anymore but agent reign?? MMM DELIGHTFUL. i took some artistic liberties with this but we all need a good feeling fic right?
1+1=2 (if you want me too)ao3 link
Alex is trained to notice things. It’s part of her job as much as it’s part of her life now. What she seems to notice right now is Sam.
Sam the CFO, the single mom, the friend. There’s a lot going on for Sam and she’s out here doing it on her own. That says a lot to Alex and there’s no higher level of respect that she can have for the woman. But she can also see where Sam does so much that she misses out on some things.
“Hey, I’m so sorry about that,” Sam says as she settles back into the lawn chair next to Alex’s.
“It’s okay,” Alex responds. “Well, it’s okay for me. Ruby scored a few seconds ago off an assist.”
“That’s great!” Sam smiles proudly before cheering for Ruby.
“Ruby was actually looking for you in the crowd. So I don’t know if it’s actually okay.” There’s a small frown on Sam’s face at Alex’s rambling, which makes her feel incredibly guilty. “I’m sorry. I didn’t really know how to put that.”
“No, I should be the one that’s sorry,” Sam says with guilt in her voice. “I’m always working on something even before I started at L-Corp and I haven’t been giving Ruby as much attention as I want to. Or as much as I should really.”
Alex stares sympathetically. She unconsciously reaches for Sam’s hand. “I’m sure she understands. You have an important job after all and you’re trying to provide for your family. Once you get into the groove of things, you’ll be able to find some balance.”
Sam glances at Alex’s hand over hers, which makes Alex blush. There was definitely no reason for Alex to be touching Sam, she’s always been respectful of personal space. Just as Alex thinks to pull away, Sam turns to hand to hold Alex’s still. “Thanks for coming,” she says gratefully. “I know that Ruby invited you, but it’s really nice for me to know someone else is also here to support Ruby.”
“Of course,” Alex responds like it’s no big deal. “I’m more than happy to be here.”
After their conversation, Alex notices that Sam only picks up one phone call for the rest of the match and diverts several calls to her voicemail. While the laptop on her lap stays open, she spends more time trying to find Ruby on the field.
“If I have to be honest, now that I’m actually watching the game I have no idea how it actually works. All I know is that Ruby is the center forward.”
Alex laughs a how charmingly clueless Sam explains herself. “I can help explain if you'd like?” she offers.
Sam smiles gratefully. “I would love that because the internet’s vast knowledge cannot explain soccer to me.”
Alex spends the rest of the game explaining the rules and positions as they come up. When a foul comes up against Ruby, Sam gets up to passionately dispute it. It only makes Alex laugh.
After the game is over Alex helps Sam pack up their lawn chair and lunch bag.
Ruby comes trotting over, bouncing with excitement to see Alex still there.
“Congratulations on the game,” Alex says, earning a happy hug from Ruby that nearly knocks her over. She’s caught off guard and looks over at Sam, who is equally surprised.
“Thanks for coming!” Ruby peels herself away before turning to hug her mom. “I saw you yelling and I was really surprised at you mom.”
“Why are you surprised?” Sam kisses the top of her daughter's head.
“I didn't think you knew anything about soccer.”
Alex snickers because Sam tries to fight the offended look off her face and fails terribly.
She scoffs at Ruby and playfully pushes her. “I had an expert explain the game to me,” she pointedly looks at Alex.
Alex feels the heat rush to her cheeks. The way Sam regards her is playful as it is welcoming. She’d mainly been Kara’s and Lena’s friend so she has to admit it feels different when Sam sends playful jabs her way.
Ruby smiles brightly at Alex that it warms her as well.
“Come on,” Sam gathers her laptop bag and Ruby’s duffel. “We can go home and celebrate your win.”
Ruby bites her lip before looking over her shoulder to the rest of the girls on the team. “Actually mom, do you think I can have some of the girls over?”
Sam looks both surprised and it quickly dissolves into a soft smile. “Sure thing, Rubes.”
Ruby looks relieved at her mom's response and instantly looks over at Alex. “Could Alex come over too?”
Alex is surprised now. “I don’t mind,” and they both look to Sam, “as long as you don't mind of course.”
Sam looks hesitant and Alex is about to say it's perfectly fine and make up an excuse to leave, but then she looks at Ruby, who stares at her hopefully. “The more the merrier,” she answers with a smile.
----
When Alex arrives about a half hour later because she said she’d stop to get some wine for the adults, Sam opens the door looking flushed and out of breath.
“Hey!” Sam greets, trying to catch her breath.
Alex glances Sam up and down. She’s still wearing the same clothes as earlier, but her hair is slightly mussed, and there’s a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.
“Hey?” Alex greets. “Is this a bad time?”
Sam’s eyes widen at her state. Her face is adorable and Alex can’t hold back a smile. “I’m so sorry.” She moves to let Alex into the house. “We don’t usually have company, so I sometimes let the house get a little disarray. But Ruby’s been making friends, better friends, and I just wanted to make sure everything is clean and ready for the girls.”
Alex enters the house, not entirely sure what to expect. To her surprise, the living room looks immaculate. There’s no dust, there’s no stains or dirt, everything is neatly organized. “Wow, this is such a mess,” she jokes sarcastically.
Sam lets out a light laugh in response. “I cleaned the living room first, which was a mistake because I spent way too much time and forgot about the other rooms in this house. I’m really sorry, you have to see this.”
Alex quirks her head. “It’s fine, Sam. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it is.”
“That’s really sweet of you Alex, but I have a stack of dishes and a stove to clean. Not to mention, I’m not sure if I bought enough drinks for the girls or snacks. Shoot! Snacks!”
The spiral that Sam starts manifesting very physically. Alex can see the pulse throbbing at Sam’s neck (not that she’s been staring, it’s just noticeable---her pulse not her neck) and the thin lines on her forehead as she starts to stress. She walks quickly as well, not realizing that she’s been leading Alex towards kitchen, one of the places she actually doesn’t want a guest to witness.
Just as she steps in, Sam does realize that Alex has been following her. She turns so quickly on her heels in the doorway that Alex doesn’t have time to stop and bumps right into her.
Suddenly, their faces are extremely close and their bodies would be pressed against each other, if it weren’t for the wine bottle. Not that the wine bottle helped much because the back of Alex’s hands grasping the neck is pressed into Sam’s chest. Alex usually has better reflexes that that.
“I’m sorry! Maybe, you should stay in the living room? Ruby will be done with her shower soon and it’s in a much better state than this,” Sam says quickly, completely unbothered by their lack of personal space.
Alex has the decency to take a step back, so she can breathe as well. She peers around Sam’s slim shoulders and sees the mess that she’s mortified of. She gets it. There are a surprisingly number of glasses and mugs littered across the counter and island for a household of two. She spies the leaning tower of dishes that are spilling onto the counter as well. It’s more than enough she needs to observe.
“Take this,” Alex holds out the wine bottle for Sam.
Sam takes it with confusion. Alex peels off her leather jacket and hands it to Sam. “What’re you--”
Alex takes step around Sam to get through the small doorway. “I’m going to help you, duh,” she rolls up her sleeves. “You might want to be a good host and put that wine on ice for us.”
Sam stares dumbly. “What? No, you’re my guest.”
“Lucky for you, I am one of the good kind of guests,” Alex says over her shoulder as she opens up the dishwasher. It’s completely empty. “Come on, don’t just stand there. You have a bunch of adolescent girls coming over.” She smiles at Sam, raising her eyebrows playfully.
Sam laughs to herself. “You are incredible. ”
----
They work together. And after Sam’s initial hesitation in letting Alex help, she relaxes visibly. Alex can see the tension slide off of her shoulders as Alex rinses the dishes to load into the dishwasher before, while Sam sweeps around her. They fall into a coordinated dance almost because Alex can tell when Sam is near and moves her hips and feet around for Sam to do her thing when she starts cleaning the counters. Sam is very insistent that she cleans the stove though, not that it bothers Alex. Alex finds a way to make herself useful.
“So food?” Alex asks.
“I ordered pizza, fries, and wings. I might have over ordered but they’re growing so it’ll be fine.”
“Plates and utensils?”
“In the top cabinet next to the fridge.”
Alex moves to pull them out and sets them down on the island. She turns to the fridge. “You mentioned drinks?” She opens it up and finds a moderately empty fridge. “No drinks?”
It dawns on Sam. “Oh god, I must’ve left them in the car.”
“Hey, what’s going on?” Ruby asks as she enters the kitchen. Her hair is still slightly damp, but she’s clean and out of her soccer uniform.
Sam immediately looks to her daughter. “I might’ve left the drinks and snacks in the car, do you mind grabbing those?”
Ruby nods. “Sure thing, mom.”
“I’ll help,” Alex offers, following Ruby out the back door.
Ruby grabs the keys and leads Alex outside. “Have you been helping my mom this entire time?”
“Yep.”
“I’m surprised she let you,” Ruby says as she pops open the trunk to the car in the driveway. “She kind of hates getting help from anyone that’s---you know, not me.”
“I kind of insisted,” Alex admits, feeling a bit sheepish. “Should I not have?”
“Part of me says no because she has like a method to her madness, but I really appreciate it.” Ruby pushes open the trunk and both of them find the bags.
Alex holds out her hands to help grab things and like her mother, Ruby doesn’t realize that Alex is actually there to help. There’s a surprised look on her face before she smiles and thanks her.
Alex and Ruby spend their time unloading the snacks and drinks talking about the game and Supergirl, while Sam works around them, making sure that everything that’s listed on her mind has been checked off. Just as she does that, Alex can’t help but smile because she sees Sam slowly relax; she gets to take a long breath just as the food arrives.
“Mom, you ordered for an army!”
“You are growing, you need all the food you can get.”
“But we’re not boys.”
“Does that mean you can’t eat?”
Ruby opens her mouth only to shut it and Sam stands there is a shit eating grin at her daughter. Alex laughs at their interaction.
Not long after the food arrives, several of Ruby’s teammates start to show up. They end up with a lot more snacks and food than they intended because some of them also contribute chips and dips leaving Sam overwhelmed.
----
“You and Ruby have a great relationship,” Alex says when they have a minute to hide in the kitchen. Well, Ruby ushers them out out once the girls start playing some board games and switch. Sam isn’t offended, giving her daughter some space but leaving her with a look to let her know immediately if something is wrong. Alex can’t help but notice the way Ruby nods seriously to her mom with a furtive glance over her shoulder.
Sam smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “We try.” She pulls out wine glasses from the cabinet before going to the fridge for the wine.
Alex takes a seat at the kitchen island and stares. “You’re a great mom, Sam.”
Sam raises her eyebrows and lets out a sarcastic, “Suuure.”
“You are.”
Sam opens her mouth to say something but instead she turns around to the drawer to pull out a wine opener.
“What?” Alex asks curiously. “Ruby loves you to pieces.”
Sam turns around with a small sigh. She clasps the wine opener between her hands, fiddling with it as she speaks. “If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel like she’s the one taking care of me.”
“That’s not a bad thing,” Alex tries.
Sam tilts her head, raising her eyebrows. “She’s a kid. She should just be a kid. She’s growing up too quickly. I feel like that’s my fault. I try to make sure she has everything she needs to be a kid but then some mornings I turn around to see her give me a piece of toast because I forgot to eat breakfast.”
Alex looks at Sam sympathetically. “It’s not a bad thing to take care of each other,” she reminds carefully. “It’s what family does.”
“Alex…” Sam doesn’t look like she believes her.
Alex stands up and meets her. “Have you forgotten that when Kara and I were teenagers, I lost my dad?”
“I��m sorry,” she lets out with guilt.
Alex smiles with reassurance. “It was hard for all of us. My mom had to take care of the two of us all on her own and she wasn’t the best mother all the time. Most of the time, Kara and I took care of each other and sometimes we took care of her too. There were plenty of cold meals my mom would have to eat if she got home late from the lab.”
Sam smiles down at the wine opener in her hands, clearly thinking of a similar memory. Alex ducks to meet Sam’s eyes. Sam’s eyes meet hers and Alex can’t help but be mesmerized by the shimmering hazel color.
“The point is,” Alex says lightly, plucking the wine opener from Sam’s hand, fingers brushing very briefly that she feels a spark of electricity between them. She ignores it and turns to grab the bottle of wine. “Family is about taking care of each other. And it never hurts to have a helping hand every once in awhile.” She turns the corkscrew with ease and pops it out that it surprises Sam.
Sam bites her lips thoughtfully at Alex. “I might not always be receptive to your helpfulness, just to let you know. You caught me off guard today.” She reaches for the bottle of wine and her fingers close around Alex’s unconsciously.
Alex feels her throat dry because they’re close again. And once again, their in physical contact. “I don’t mind it at all,” she lets out softer than she intends to. She manages a small smile to lighten the mood.
Sam peels the bottle of wine out of Alex’s hand and glances at her while she pours their glasses. “I hope you know that I am very thankful for everything you’ve done for me to today.” She hands Alex a glass and picks up her own. She holds it in her hand as does Alex, because their eyes meet once more and they stand still. And just stare.
Alex hasn’t realizes how much of Sam she’s noticed throughout the day, but looks beautiful when she smiles without a care in the world, even though it’s short lived.
“Mom?”
Both of them turn their attention to Ruby standing in the doorway with a curious look on her face.
Sam clears her throat. “What’s up, kiddo?”
“We were going to start playing Mario Kart and wanted to know if either of you wanted to play?”
Sam smiles. “You know I’m terrible at that game.” There’s a small pout at Ruby’s lips at the mild rejection.
“Yeah and you shouldn’t be drinking and driving,” Alex jokes stepping backwards to go to Ruby. “Come on, I totally crush it at that game.” She throws an arm around Ruby’s shoulder comfortably and guides her back to the living room, throwing a glance over her shoulder. She tilts her head, encouraging Sam to follow at least.
“You’re going to regret saying that,” Sam adds, grabbing the bottle of wine and following them.
----
At the end of the night when all of the girls are gone, it’s Sam and Ruby once more. Alex stays behind offering help to clean up. Sam is bamboozled when Ruby grabs onto Alex’s arm and starts directing her the minute she offers. There’s a gentle narrowing of her eyes, but she knows Ruby wants her mom to relax. Alex doesn’t mind it at all because she wants the same thing.
Sam cleans up the kitchen while Alex and Ruby clean the living room. She boils water and makes tea for Alex. Ruby oddly enough asks to go to her room to clean up because unlike her mother, she hadn’t decided on cleaning her private space. Alex and Sam stay in the kitchen, drinking tea and chatting about work. A brief moment where Alex can see that Sam, despite a mild derision of how much she has to work, she actually enjoys it. She finds it just as fulfilling when something goes the way its intended as much as she loves Ruby.
“Thanks for today,” Alex finds herself saying as she steps out onto the porch.
Sam shakes her head. “Thank you,” she emphasizes as she steps out, closing the door behind her. “Having you here today was really nice. You are really good with kids.”
Alex tries not to preen but she’s happy to hear that. “I’m glad you say that. I hope one day I’ll be a good mom like you.”
“Well if you ever want a kid, you can always have mine,” Sam jokes glancing back at her house.
Alex’s eyes widen because she knows it’s a joke but....
Sam quickly catches on.Her gently tan cheeks turn pink and it’s barely noticeable under the porch light, but Alex notices with how closely they’re standing. “I meant--Ruby. If you ever want to take my kid away, you could. Well, not like indefinitely, but if you ever wanted to hang out.” She stumbles over her words so quickly that Alex doesn’t feel awkward anymore. She laughs to catch Sam of spiraling once more. There’s a beautiful laugh from Sam as she tries to regain her composure. She facepalms herself before looking at Alex. “I usually wait for the third date to mention kids, so clearly I’m out of practice.”
Alex lets out an incredulous laugh. “Are you saying that this was a date?”
Sam blushes. Honest to god, blushes at the mention. Alex thought she was a nervous mess more than half of the time, but Sam seems to outdo her tonight unexpectedly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have--I mean, we spent the day together, doing all this domestic stuff, and now we’re standing on my porch like the end of a romcom.”
Alex takes a breath. She’s noticed a lot of things about Sam today. Probably more than she should be privy to, but none of which she minds. And she tries to be calm, instead of a nervous wreck for Sam’s sake. “If this was a romcom, I’d kiss you goodnight and hop on my motorcycle while you watch me ride off,” she jokes in return.
Sam bites her lip and stops breathing. Alex can tell by the way her chest stops moving. Her eyes trail down, subtly, to Alex’s lips. Her eyes dart back up to meet Alex’s. Just as she leans in, the porch light flickers and they look up before they see the curtain move.
“Ruby,” Sam breathes out in disbelief.
Alex rubs the back of her neck nervously. “I should get going,” she offers, trying to make the situation easier for Sam.
Sam swallows with a nod. “Ride back safely.”
Alex nods in agreement before turning to step off the porch. “If you ever need me to spend time with Ruby while you’re busy with work, I’d be more than happy to,” she offers over her shoulder. "You're missing out on the best years of adulthood."
Just as Alex reaches the bottom of the steps, she feels a tug at her hand and turns to find Sam standing before her. Before she can even react, Sam’s hand comes up to cup her cheek and the same between them disappears when their lips press together. Of all the things she noticed about Sam today, Alex commits to memory how soft and pliant Sam’s lips are as they kiss. Sam knows how to kiss. Out of practice? Alex doesn’t think twice of that as she kisses Sam back. Their lips easily slide against each others in concert. Alex hand comes up to cup Sam’s warm cheek.
It starts so quickly, Alex expects it to end the same, but Sam pulls back slowly, drawing Alex towards her. It doesn’t register in her mind that they’ve stopped kissing until she has to breathe in.
“Wha--”
“Maybe when I’m not busy, you can spend time with me too,” Sam suggests, biting the corner of her lip as she smiles shyly. She glances up and down Alex before letting her go.
Alex stands in awe as her heart races inside of her. “I’d be more than happy to.” The smile on her face grows infinitely larger.
Sam walks back to her door and Alex walks over to her motorcycle, thumb brushing her lips. She mounts her bike and looks over to see Sam lingering at the door. Then she realizes what Sam’s waiting for. She smiles at Sam before pulling on her helmet.
Alex turns on her motorcycle and kicks off the stand. She gives one last look to Sam waving goodbye to her before riding off into the night.
Just like a romcom.
#agent reign#sam x alex#no fucking regrets#i loved this prompt#and im sorry it took awhile but this is my fave quality#single parent au#accidental domestic fluff#winkwink#romcom
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Rest Your Bones || Sam + Kate
Tagging: @kateinvogue & @goldenglovesam
Location: 224 Thomson St.
Date: March 13th, 2018
Summary: Sam and Kate spend the morning after Meme Monday having a serious conversation.
Notes: This para is complete.
Sam
Sam woke up to a mix of emotions, if she were being honest. Last night had been another doozy, between Blair mistakenly sending her a naked photo and the reveal of Ellie and Blair having kissed. Kate, understandably, had been upset and Sam hadn’t really known how to help other than offer her company. Sure, they had spent most of Sunday together, but why not extend it. As the sun started to shine through her window, Sam wrapped her arm around Kate’s waist and pulled her close. She needed to get up to at least help Mae get ready for the day and to let Quinn know what was happening, but for now she was content just laying there.March 13, 2018
Kate
Whether it was the morning sun or the feeling of Sam's arms snug around her that woke her up, Kate wasn't sure. Her head pounded from the hours spent crying the night before, and she was certain her eyes would be puffy all day no matter how many cold masks she tried. She relaxed into the embrace with a sigh, giving voice to the thoughts that she had been too drained to speak last night. "It would be unfair to you if I said I was over Blair- I think last night alone proves that I've got a lot of work to do."
Sam
Sam's thumb rubbed softly against Kate's back as they both woke up. And it wasn't exactly what she expected their first words to be about, but hey, Sam was constantly being surprised. "I understand, you know I do. And I know that Blair isn't over you, either. Obviously, that's half of the issue, right? That I ... swooped in or something?" She closed her eyes, finally vocalizing things she had really only said via text.
Kate
Kate knew from the way Sam's body stiffened for a second that she had caught her by surprise. Her stomach tossed guiltily as she turned the response in her mind, grasping for anything that felt right. "From what I've gathered that's how she feels. Honestly, I was blind to the fact that she actually wanted to get back together until last week. Like, I knew that I wasn't over her, but I thought enough time had passed that going on a date with you would be okay. I'm just as much to blame." Carefully she rolled over so that she was facing Sam.
Sam
Even with the subject matter, Sam smiled as they faced each other. "Neither of us can be responsible when she didn't tell us. I don't know what kinds of conversations you've had with her, but she gave me every indication that this was okay. That I was okay in asking you out." Sam had a reasonable amount of guilt for the turmoil she had caused, but she still didn't regret it. "I'm still going to try to gain back that friendship, but I want this, too. I hope you're okay with that."
Kate
Kate smiled in return and felt some of the tension ease off her shoulders. "I hate to do the she said/she said thing, but Blair did text me good luck the night of our date. I don't know how she expected either one of us to read into it. For what it's worth, I wouldn't change my decision. I'm happy with you." She ducked her head shyly, her fingers worrying at the edge of the blanket. "I would never stop you from being friends with her."
Sam
"See?" Sam tucked a piece of Kate's hair behind her ear. "We both tried and thought we were in the clear. Now we're just...dealing with the consequences." She tried to laugh without sounding bitter. "I'm happy with you, too." Sam grinned, fingers lingering along Kate's jaw. "And good, I'm glad we have that out in the open." This was new to her, being so open about feelings with the girl she was dating, even having feelings this strong. Sounds of life were coming from the living room and Sam let out a soft groan. "Let me go help Quinn, and I'll come back with some coffee?"
Kate
"Honestly, me too. It already feels like a huge weight off of me. And coffee would be much appreciated," Kate replied, knowing full well that only a concoction of that and ibuprofen would do the trick of getting her out of bed. The blanket was still warm from where Sam was laying and Kate breathed in the lingering smell of her shampoo. Despite everything that had gone down in the past 12 hours she was feeling remarkably calm, and she knew that a big part of that had to do with Sam. Kate pulled herself into a sitting position and pulled her wild hair into a messy bun while she waited for Sam to return.
Sam
Sam gave her a quick kiss before getting out of the bed, dodging any knowing looks from Quinn. "Morning, ladies." She grinned, helping Mae with her breakfast and making both the cups of coffee. "I'm going to take a mental health day today," she explained to Quinn. Soon enough, the Fabrays were heading out for the day and Sam made her way back to the bedroom. "Here we go!" She smiled, gingerly crossing her legs as she sat down. "The day is ours to do with as we please."
Kate
Kate hummed a note of satisfaction as she grabbed the cup and took a sip, feeling more alive already. She cupped the mug between her hands, cautious not to let it spill over onto the bed. "I think I'm still trying to convince myself that you actually took a day off with me. We've never had an entire day together." The idea filled her with delight as she contemplated all of the ways they could spend it. A tumblr alert lit up her phone, drawing her attention back to the topic at hand. "You've been completely open and honest with me, so I'd like to do the same without you finding out through some meme. The only other friends I've been involved with are Blair and Ellie. Ellie and I have only kissed a couple of times, and obviously Blair was a serious relationship. I promise there aren't any others hiding in my baggage."
Sam
Smiling, Sam took a drink of her own coffee and relaxed against the headboard. "Oh come on, I think we both needed a day where we didn't have to face the world. Work stress on top of social stress is just the worst." She nodded, as if she had made some sage connection. Kate's phone lit up and Sam was reminded again of how they got to here anyway. "Well thank you, for telling me. And even if I've said it online, I'm gonna tell you here that you and Quinn are the only girl's I've been with, but I've kissed Brittany and Aria. I think Aria and I were just a little drunk, and we both realized we were meant to just be platonic soulmates. Britt and I just hung out a little, but she's not really a relationship girl." She didn't even realize she had been nervous of Kate's answer, but now that she knew, she was glad. And her hurt made a lot more sense, too.
Kate
Kate listened carefully, letting out a breath she wasn't aware of holding when Sam came to the end of the list. She took another sip of her coffee, letting the warmth wash over her. "Is it ridiculous that I found this conversation more comforting than anything? I honestly can't remember the last time someone was this open with me..." It was hard for Kate to believe that they had only been dating for about a month. If the feelings fluttering around in her chest were any indication, she was falling hard.
Sam
Sam shook her head, stretching her legs out now. "Not at all, Kate. I just think that keeping things in leads to more bad things than good. Personally, my face breaks out like crazy when I get too stress, no matter what causes it." She joked a little, nudging her knee against Kate's. "So, if you wanted, we can just chill out, have some brunch here and watch some TV. I did want to pop by ACup tonight, maybe sing something for Open Mic? Unless you had other plans..."
Kate
"So you're saying that if you start having a massive break out I should call in that favor I've got with Dr. Phil?" Kate teased as she carefully set her coffee down on a nearby nightstand and scooted herself closer to her girlfriend. "I think all of those things sound fantastic,.but perhaps I can suggest a small change of plans? Like some quality time together because I just can't get enough of you." She lifted her gaze to meet Sam's briefly before ducking down to leave a trail of kisses along her neck.
Sam
Laughing, Sam mirrored Kate's movement and let her arms rest around waist. "That is a change of plans I can absolutely agree to." She let out a soft sigh as Kate's lips dusted against her skin, something that she was finding more and more natural. "Not that this was my initial plan." A small laugh came out. After everything that had happened, Sam was glad they were easily able to get back to something resembling a normal encounter between them. This was what she had planned, more or less, when she had invited Kate over: to clear the air, to comfort Kate, and to spend as much time as possible with her girlfriend.
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in the shadows.
Bad decisions had always been her bread and butter.
For as long as she could remember, Spencer’s entire life could be pinpointed to one bad choice or another. Befriending Ali despite her mean girl tendencies, taking a little white pill her Brainiac club friend had promised would ‘help slow down time’, kissing her sisters boyfriend and later on, a fiancee.
Mona hadn’t known the half of it, really, despite what she tried to uncover. Spencer had gotten off easy - vague threats and half truths. The scarier things, the darker things - no one had written those down, no one had seen them. Blinding Jenna Marshall should have been the most terrifying secret of all, and yet somehow, it wasn’t.
This time, however, she was leaving it in Caleb’s hands. If this attraction to one another was going to bloom into action, it would be on him. She might not be innocent, but she wouldn’t make the first move.
( Or, at least, more of a move. Telling your best friends boyfriend you wanted to give him head was probably considered a come on by most. )
The fashion show had been a fundraiser, something Ali put together every year that Spencer had wound up in charge of in her absence. And with the arrival of Cece Drake - with a voice so familiar it made Spencer’s blood run cold, a smile that could haunt her dreams, blonde locks that looked eerily similar - it was easy to see why Spencer had been so on edge. Her offer to help fit the models with clothing had seemed sincere enough, but Spencer didn’t trust her.
It was probably just the resemblance to Ali, though.
Hanna had adored every minute of it, strutting down the catwalk in her new clothes, a rabid audience cheering for her. Aria had perfected the moody teen aesthetic for her own walk, and Emily - well, Emily was Emily.
But Caleb had swapped the music for Spencer, something slinky and sensual as she strutted down in a short flapper dress her mother would have never agreed to let her leave the house in, much less walk down a stage on. And Spencer had watched him like a hawk, the way his eyes were trained on her, raking over her body, her flesh covered in goosebumps.
She’d needed a drink as soon as she was done.
Noel Kahn’s parties were infamous, and he had one for every event - talent shows, fashion shows, Homecoming, a random Wednesday because they’d all had a rough week. It was a tradition he’d taken from his older brother, one that was as much a part of Rosewood as The Brew or the old farmhouses converted into mini mansions. Spencer and the girls had only ever attended a few of them, especially since the absence of Ali; without her, they preferred the company of one another to the mindless sound of their screaming classmates.
Spencer, however, had always enjoyed parties. It allowed her to blend in a little better, to try and act like a normal girl. Over the summer, Wren had taken her to tons of parties, Spencer becoming more and more comfortable with strange guys hitting on her under the influence of alcohol and dancing with people she would never look twice at during the day.
Caleb was sitting on a couch with a few other guys, most of them ignoring him or occasionally engaging him in a small conversation. For the most part, she saw his thumbs moving on his phone screen, replying to her as she moved through the party, her stomach twisting with a desire she was trying in vain to keep in check.
After all, Hanna was on his lap. If Spencer ever needed a reminder of what a bad decision engaging in any sort of activity with Caleb was, all she had to do was look at the two of them.
But the alcohol was already coursing through her veins, the want stronger than her morals. And she could justify it, if only to herself; Hanna didn’t understand him, not completely, and she sure as hell didn’t understand Spencer. With the possible return of a stalker, Hanna’s freak out had been insurmountable - Spencer was panicking, of course, but nothing like Hanna.
And then Hanna hadn’t even wanted to tell Emily and Aria.
So if Hanna wanted to keep secrets again, to start the danger that had put them in that position with Mona in the first place, why shouldn’t Spencer engage? So what if Mona thought she could try again from her place in rehab, or pass the game along to someone new?
Spencer could take whatever they threw at her. Probably.
The fall air nipped at her bare legs, goosebumps crawling over her bare thighs as she wrapped the light jacket tighter around her arms, stomping her heels into the concrete walkway behind the garage as she fumbled with the pack of cigarettes, her back pressed against the wall. She had left her phone in her purse at the party purposefully; if Caleb wasn’t coming, she didn’t want to deal with the disappointment. And if he was, she didn’t think she should know beforehand - for her own guilt.
It took two cigarettes before he appeared, hands in his jacket pocket as he sauntered over to her. Everything about him seemed to call to her; his dark eyes, the way he chewed on the inside of his cheek, even the way the wind blew his hair behind him like he was at a photoshoot instead of sneaking around to meet his girlfriends best friend.
He took the cigarette right out of her hand and didn’t look twice at it as he threw it behind them, a hand cupping her jaw as he pulled her towards him. In her heels, there was almost no difference in their height, and when his lips crashed against hers Spencer let out a barely audible moan.
She had wanted it for far too long.
Her own arms wound around his neck, pulling him tighter to her, his knee pushing between her thighs to hold her against the wall and she rocked against it, knowing he couldn’t feel how wet she was as the lace of her underwear scraped against her but also knowing he somehow just knew. He may have initiated the kiss, but Spencer pushed them further, her tongue scraping his teeth and her nails biting the back of his neck as she pressed him as close to her as possible, his own hands moving from her throat to her chest to the hem of her skirt, trying to take in as much of her as he could.
Trying to memorize the way she felt while he could.
She wanted him to lift her up by the waist, to let her legs wrap around his hips and let him take every single inch of her, but even through the lust that fueled her, she could feel eyes somewhere on her.
Old paranoia, possibly, but enough to make her pause, to pull back, to breathe.
“Spence - “ he said, but she pressed a finger to his lips, a small groan escaping as he took it into his mouth, sucking on the digit and giving her no question of what it might feel like to have him between her thighs. But she could almost hear something, the scrape of leaves, the sound of footsteps.
Someone was there. Spencer knew it.
And then, from the opposite direction, a slightly drunk “Caleb?” came, both of them jumping apart as Hanna’s voice came closer. Spencer slipped away before she would be spotted, walking as quietly as she could in the opposite direction, just barely making it to the front yard when she heard Hanna’s “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing!”, knowing just how close they had come to being caught.
She tried to strain her eyes through the dark, to see who else had been there, to figure out why she was so focused on the way her skin crawled with nerves instead of arousal, why she couldn’t stop thinking about Mona hiding in the woods by the house and not the feeling of Caleb flush against her.
Bad decisions, Spencer knew, would be the end of her. And this was only one more to add to the list.
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Hard Left Turn: Shepard Part 2
Notes: Thane Lives AU! Several lines of dialog and the contents of letters from the game are used verbatim. I'm also fudging the time line of the game slightly.
Disclaimer: Mass Effect and its characters are not mine.
Shepard stared at the door to Huerta Memorial, anxiety building with each heartbeat.
This is ridiculous. She had saved the Citadel, passed through the Omega 4 relay and told the Illusive Man to go fuck himself but the thought of facing Kaidan made her heart race and sweat prick along her spine. He wants to talk. Go talk to him. Lack of communication was what had caused the rift between them in the first place. Maybe they would be able to salvage something.
Is that what they did to you? Is the woman I loved still in there? Weeks later and it still felt like Kaidan had reached into her chest and ripped out her heart. She could forgive him for Horizon; that had been her fault, but Mars...what if it's-
With a curse Shepard retreated into the elevator, overnight bag thumping against her leg. She hit the button for the Presidium. Once there she hailed a cab and gave the driver Thane's address. As the scenery flashed by she struggled to remember the meditation techniques that Thane had tried to teach her. It had mostly been in vain; she could never clear her mind enough.
The cab came to a halt and she climbed out leaving a large tip for the driver. She glanced around the ward's lobby before heading down the main hallway. All the way down, turn right, third door on the left.
As she reached the apartment Shepard hesitated a brief moment before hitting the caller. She quickly plastered a smile on her face as the door slid open to reveal Kolyat.
“Commander Shepard! It's good to see you.” He took a step back, motioning her inside. “Father is in the kitchen. May I?” She handed over her bag and watched as Kolyat disappeared to the rear of the small apartment.
“Siha, you are early.” Her smile turned genuine as Thane emerged from the kitchen. She leaned against him gratefully as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
“Well I've had a long day and I heard I could get a free meal here.”
“So I've heard,” Thane said leading her to the small dining area. A glass of red wine and salad sat on the table. “Is it true you called one of the Hanar diplomats a big stupid jellyfish?”
How had that gotten around so fast? “I don't recall. You know how bad human memories are. Do I smell garlic?”
Thane chuckled as he held her chair. “Yes. Lasagna, double stuffed. Your favorite as I recall.”
She grinned as he pushed in her chair and took the one opposite her. “I do love that memory of yours. Kasumi says hi by the way.”
“I should have known she was mixed up in whatever was happening. I hope she is well?”
“As far as Bau knows she died in the explosion at the office but I sent her to Hackett. Her tech expertise will be an huge asset.”
A buzzer sounded from the kitchen. Thane motioned her to stay seated as he went to check on the food. She took a sip of wine and started on her salad.
“Commander, may I speak with you?”
She smiled up at Kolyat. “Of course.” She gestured to the chair Thane had vacated. “How have you been? Commander Bailey tells me nothing but good things about you.”
“Things are going well.” Kolyat sat down across from her, fidgeting nervously. “That is what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to thank you for all you did for me. If you had not stopped me I would be in jail or dead. I also wanted to apologize for my behavior.”
“Kolyat, you don't owe me anything. I know what it's like to be that young and angry. I lost my whole family when I was 16 and I did a lot of stupid things in the years after before I joined the Alliance.”
“Yes, once Father told me of your relationship I began to research you. I hope that doesn't offend you.” Shepard shook her head silently, finishing her salad. “I read about Mindoir. I'm sorry about your family. It seems we have a lot in common but I seriously doubt you tried to assassinate someone.”
Shepard let out a snort of laughter. “Yeah, you've got me there but I'll accept your apology if you accept mine for punching you. You really didn't deserve that.”
Kolyat shifted in his chair. “I...thank you Commander. I accept.”
“Good, and I accept your apology as well.” She took another sip of wine, studying the young man over the rim of her glass. During their call Thane had told her that Kolyat had been upset when he been told of their relationship but he wasn't acting like it. “Are you all right with this? Your father coming with me?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Kolyat, he came here to be close to you; because he wanted to repair your relationship. The last thing I want to do is cause another upset in your life.”
Kolyat stared at her for a moment, his inner eyelids sliding rapidly over his eyes to disappear again before dropping his gaze to the table. His eyes flickered as a memory took hold. Finally he looked back up at her.
“Thank you Commander Shepard. It means much that you thought to ask but I have always known that Father would one day return to your side. You are his Siha after all. I did not think it would happen so soon but it is what it is. The memories of the last seven months are good ones and I will cherish them. And I have my duties in C-Sec and my studies with the Priesthood. I will not waste the second chance I have been given.”
“All right,” she said, relieved. Despite everything Kolyat had a good heart. She smiled at him as Thane returned, setting a plate down in front of Kolyat. It must have been a drell dish. She didn't recognize anything on the plate. “You don't want any lasagna?”
Kolyat scowled. “No. I don't know why humans insist on putting tomatoes in all of their food. They are disgusting.”
Oh. She blinked at Kolyat and then glanced up at Thane. “It seems that Drell taste buds are not suited to them. I find them problematic as well.”
“Does this mean I get a whole pan to myself?” she gasped in delight. Thane laughed, walking back into the kitchen and returning with a small pan, setting it in front of her. “Oh My God, it smells amazing.” The only thing that kept her from moaning at the first bite was Kolyat's presence across from her. “This is incredible.” When was the last time she had had a home cooked meal? Thane took the chair next to her looking pleased, a plate of the same food her had serve Kolyat in front of him.
“So, I bet you have some good stories from working in C-Sec. Garrus always does.” As they ate Kolyat had her laughing as he recounted all the odd things he had seen in his time at C-Sec. In turn she told him of her missions so far: the escape from Earth (“Yes, technically Joker and EDI did kidnap the crew.”), Palavan, the Cerberus lab on Sanctum and the escape from Grissom Academy. As they talked Thane sat quietly watching them with a contented look on his face.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked quietly as they finished eating. Kolyat stood and began to clear the table.
Thane touched her hand gently. “That I am blessed to be sitting here with my son and my Siha. I could not have imagined such a thing when I joined you on Illium. I love you.”
Warmth blossomed in her chest. “Neither could I but here we all are. I love you too.”
“I think this is my cue to leave.” Kolyat stood in the kitchen door way looking slightly embarrassed. “I will see you both tomorrow.”
“Good night Kolyat,” Shepard said as Thane stood to walk Kolyat to the door. She eyed the pan of lasagna debating whether she should have another piece and deciding against it. She was pleasantly full; if she ate anymore she would regret it. Instead she poured another glass of wine and moved to sit on the sofa.
She smiled at Thane as he walked back into the living room. “You've got one hell of a kid Thane.”
“His mother's influence, not mine.”
“Hey,” she reached out to grab his hand, pulling him down beside her, “Don't sell yourself short. You're right. Kolyat has changed for the better. I can see it. That was you.”
“Thank you. It is good to know that I have had some positive influence in his life.” Thane shifted so she could lean back against him. She reached across Thane to set her wine glass on the end table before settling into his arms with a please hum. Full of food and wine, and in Thane's arms, she felt better then she had in weeks. “Tell me of your day. What will happen to Jack and her students?”
“We're shipping them to the front but in support roles. The kids weren't too happy about that but it's what Jack recommended. The Illusive Man forced Aria off of Omega. She's agreed to help out if I can get control of her mercenaries. We've got the Blood Pack and Eclipse on our side. I just need the Blue Suns.”
“And your visit with Kaidan?” Her good mood vanished instantly, her guilt returning. Thane felt her mood shift and sat up straight. “Siha, did something happen-”
“I didn't go,” she blurt out, unable to look at him. Shepard could feel the familiar panic start to crawl up her spine. She stood, moving to put some distance between them. “Thane, when you called this morning and I was asleep I...I was dreaming about Kaidan.”
“From what I understand humans cannot control their dreams.” Thane said hesitantly. “They are a product of the subconscious, yes? I imagine Kaidan has been much on your mind. I know it could not have been easy to see him injured in such a way. Did you expect me to be angry?”
“I wasn't just dreaming about him. I was dreaming about the shore leave we took after defeating Sovereign and...” She trailed off, swallowing against the lump in her throat.
“I see,” Thane said after a long pause. “I assume you mean you were having a sexual dream.” She nodded faintly, staring at the floor. The couch creaked slightly as Thane stood, taking a step towards her.
“I do not understand,” he said, sounding perplexed. Any other time she would have found it amusing. Thane's hands settled on her shoulders, gently but firmly turning her to face him. “I can recall every intimate moment I shared with Irikah with perfect clarity, including the morning we conceived Kolyat. Why would I think-”
“That's not the point Thane!” she snapped, pulling away. “I shouldn't have been dreaming of him at all. On Mars there was a Cerberus soldier. We went to get the transmitter in his helmet. Underneath he was nothing but a Husk and Kaidan, he-” A sob escaped her. Thane took her hand, thumb brushing against her palm. “He wanted to know if that's what had happened to me; if I were nothing more then a mindless husk. How could he say that to me?” She clutched at Thane's arm, eyes blurring, the fear nearly choking her. “What if it's true? I don't remember anything. One moment I'm getting spaced and the next I'm waking up in a lab. What if I'm just something that thinks it's Commander Shepard?”
“No.” Thane said with conviction. He cupped her face, forcing her to look into those large dark eyes that she loved so much. “That is not true. You are alive, Siha. I only have to look into to your eyes to see it.”
That quiet assurance broke the last of her control. Shepard began to sob in relief. She had never dared voice her suspicions aloud. Thane pulled her close and after a moment she felt herself lifted into his arms. He carried her back into his bedroom and gently placed her on the bed before pulling off her boots. Thane crawled in next to her, pulling her close. Safe in his arms, Shepard finally allowed herself to let go.
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