Tumgik
#sorry if the tenses dont make sense im sick + tired </3
spacexseven · 2 years
Note
for twst silver's birthday with prompt no. 2, if that's okay?
I love him way too much
i always like to write silver on the softer side but this silver is nice too <3
cw: yandere character, obsessive behavior, kidnapping
prompt list by @.drabbledealer | this drabble is a part of my mini prompt event !
despite how nonchalant he might have looked, silver was internally dying of curiosity. whatever lilia, malleus, and sebek had gotten him, it was something they seemed very proud of, and insisted it'd be the best birthday gift he'd ever gotten. silver thought of everything and anything, but lilia had just chucked at each guess, telling him it was something silver would be overjoyed about. after his exciting party, his dorm mates had sent him off to his room, whispering that his gift was inside.
outside the room now, silver carefully placed his ear on the door, trying to listen for any sounds, but it was deathly silent. he wondered why this present would have needed to be brought into his room seperately—why did they insist on being to secretive about it?
finally giving in to his burning curiosity, silver swings the door open, slowly creeping in and switching on the lights. to his surprise, in the middle of his room, there was a bound figure. looking closely, he realized that he could recognize the person's features—it was you!
he couldn't comprehend how anyone found out about his concerningly intense crush on you, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't pleased with the sight. this truly was an amazing birthday present, and he was indebted to the ones behind it.
he couldn't have even dreamt of a sight like this, you so wonderfully at his mercy, helpless and looking so, so gorgeous. he studies the careful way you had been restrained and bound to the chair and is delighted by how lovely the contrast between your skin and the rope was. he wonders, fleetingly, if you'd let him try to tie you up again some other day.
"i'd never thought you'd look nice in rope," silver smiles, watching you slowly begin to gain consciousness. he burns the picture of your wide, terrified eyes into his mind, ingrained into his memories forever, "but darling, you're absolutely breathtaking."
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huggpheonix · 7 years
Text
Oc rae adventures
Ive never had a problem with casting my screwball brother out of my sight. Its no big secret he wSnt very popular with anyone except his friends. My brothers name was jeroge, and he was 13. 13 and very odd. Very.. Violent, Not violent in a way that endangered everyone. But in a very rugged way. He was very skinny and had styled his hair to be messy and multicolored. All he wore were band t shirts noo ne had ever heard of or maybe even liked. Im talking about him in a past tense because hes gone missing, we cannot find him. And.. Im running out of all the hope i can carry. As if i started with a huge armful, and now its just this twiggy tree. Ive decided to tell you this because anonymity is what makes mysteries great. You share your story and some people couldnt care leas, but others.. Others, they make sure to scrape every little detail they can get their hands on. Im Vincent, Im 20 years old. Its been 3 years since my rother went missing. And i miss his nerdy embrace. I miss him. It used to be that i searched for him everynigjt. I mean, every single night. I just couldnt fall asleep without going and looking for him. My mom... She.. Shes.. Not taking it too well.. Ever since Kevin came over with another woman and gave my mom cheap vodka and whiskey. Shes been laying around trying to avoid my gaze. I must remind her too much of Jeorge. We looked just alike. I make sure i got rid of the vodka and whiskey. And i put a balnket ariund my mom. I kiss her head lightly and fill up a glass with water. "Mom.. You.. You.. You need to take your pill.." She sits up and again looks down, I wait till she says nothing and slink away. Kevin.. Kevin really was a sick joke. I havent seen dad in all my life. That kind of makes me sad. I remember once him being there when Jeroge had almost died. Hed been fooling around with the medication in moms cabinet. The doctors had to pump his stomach and then he had to have surgery on his kidney. The chances were slim but jeroge had made it.  He spent weeks after that recovering.  I cant remeber his name. I look to my left and glance at the tree house next to me, Rae wiped the sweat furiously off of her forehead and upper lip and glared at Marasada. "Im not getting any better!" She growled.  "In never garanteed youd get better, i said i would help you with your skills.. Obviously your skills arent any good, at all." "It fucking helps if you have metal plates protecting you, the only raid ive been on, i didnt pick up anything worth shit." She said angrily. "You watch your tone with me." Marasada warned steppping her boundaries further into RAe's space. Rae narrowed her eyes at the tall dark beautiful girl. "Or what." She demanded. Marasada only folded her arms. "Yeah, because wether you like me or not, you NEED this help. You need extra group members because your last raid, was a fail." She said without hesitation.  Marasada only pushed Rae up against the tree. "Listen, your ego must be bigger and better than your skills, you havent hauled your weight at all.. Its your fucking job to get your own armor. I dont need ANYTHING from you. Youre a replacement, a faulty. Im just being polite. Maybe the reason youre not getting better is because, you refuse to let go of that fake image in your mind." Marasada finished flipping her hair over her shoulder. Rae pushed her forward. "I hate you." She said and then tip toed to kiss her roughly. Marasada pulled away and pinched her cheeks together.  "I hate you more," she growled. She met her lips in a lust filled kiss and bit her lips. Rae groaned and gripped her forearms angrily. Leaving nail marks. Marasada left her lip bleeding. "Follow me. We will talk after." She demanded. She didnt give Rae any time to protest or to wipe the blood from her lips. She was honestly feeling helpless. How had that escalated so quickly? Was she weak? Marasada basically threw Rae into her tent and Rae hit the ground with force. She felt it in her hip, the one with her missing leg. She moaned. "You like it rough?" Marasada asked. "Not... Particularly..." Rae said apologetically. "Me neither." She said jokingly. She leaned over Rae and they made out for a couple minutes before Marasada slipped Rae's shorts off. Rae's breath hitched in her throat and all she heard was a shhh... Rae furrowed her eyebrows at the immediate intense feeling. She let out a whimper and the leader just giggled. Rae had never felt like this ever... She was enjoying this.. "Release all your tension.. Okay? It will make it feel better.." She suggested. "How?" Rae stammered out. Marasada stopped for a moment, just sort of teasing her. Playing with her. "Well... Rough play can really help somebody out. If you use proper safe words its alright. Its using your body's senses to gain pleasure. We can continue to spar after this, youll see improvement." She said matter of factly. Rae groaned falling onto her back. Marasada went back to her work. Afterwards Rae was outside. After that incredible time she had had, the leader had wanted her outside. In all honesty, she liked being bossed around by her. She liked her determination. "Okay, come at me with all you have." She whispered. Rae didnt need to be told twice. She sprinted forwards and went in for a kick to the stomach. Marasada dodged it and made a hit for Rae's exposed back. She landed squarely in her shoulder blade leaving a sharp pain. Rae winced and backed up hastily. "Dont leave your back exposed, ever." She warned. Rae nodded frantically. She rolled her shoulders and ran in again. Marasada managed to dodge and counter all Rae's hits. Meanwhile talking through it. It made rae mad. "Dont just come in and hit blindly, aim your hits, look at your opponents weaknesses, use it against them. Analyze their character. One cant win if the other is left to the full advantage." Rae was hit in the leg and she was down on the ground in a second. She grunted in pain and looked up at marasada, for any apology. "Like that." She said. She turned her back and began to walk away. Rae was up before she could even turn around. Marasada caught both of her fists. She kissed Rae, biting her lips and drawing blood. Rae tore away. "Take that as a warning. It is disgraceful to attack an unarmed opponent. Especially when their backs are turned."  Rae's eyes sparkled with tears. "You look tired little wolf... Want a break?" She asked. Rae smeared the blood on her cheeks. "Fuck you," she spat. "Bad language is encouraged." Marasada teased engaging in her defensive stance. Rae rushed her with all her force and slammed the metal plated hand. Rae was holding her twisted wrist. "Fuck.." She groaned. "Thats a real shame.. Go see the healer. Come to me, when youre ready to listen and learn." She finished. Rae had limped her way, in quiet and mournful shame. She had just lost another battle! To the same infuriating girl... The know it all... Rae had managed her way through the tent doors and to her dismay, angekis came to her aid. "Rae! W-what happened?" She asked, concerned. Rae gave a small pained chuckled and with her help sat down on the stool. "I was training... In the outskirts of the fields.." She lied. Angekis furrowed her eyebrows. "You know, the fields are very dangerous, right? You need to go with a squad. Next time, you just give ME the word, and Ill go with you." She said carefully taking off Rae's shirt. Rae sat there letting Angekis's eyes roam her body for marks. She gasped. "These are brutal.. What attacked you?" She asked while she grabbed a bucket and filled it with water. Rae considered the question greatly. "A joklis, not terribly challenging.. Makes for a hell of a fight, though." She said weakly. Angekis gently and gingerly cleansed the wounds and bruises. Rae brought her hand to her lips and bit down on her hand. After she had finished, she felt a soothing tide wash over her. She closed her eyes. In her minds eyes she saw angekis trying to devoid any emotion at all, failing only slightly. Sparkling grey and green washed around the wounds. As she finished Rae sat up. When she stood she wobbled. Great. Her leg was fucked up. Angekis held her hands behind her back. "Rae, please.. Tell me anything.. Im here, always." She said. Rae nodded solemnly. She smiled. "Thank you.. For everything, Angekis." Rae limped out of there and sighed, thanks to marasada she now had only two hours of rest before their next raid. Knowing how she ran things, they would be leaving people for dead... And for some odd reason... Somewhere deep inside her, she didnt want that to happen.  She limped all the way to the nearest shop and rapped with her knuckles. Eyes peeked out from the crevice between the boards and then the door creaked open. "Sorry to disturb your rest.. But my leg is messed up.. Can you help me?" She whispered and then the candles were lit. They revealed a dark skinned beauty with jade green eyes and blood red lips. She looked rae over once and then turned her back. Rae gulped. "I will help you.. On one condition.." She said circling her table and then placing her hand down on it. Rae pulled at her ragged shirt collar. "You tell me your name." She suggested thoughtfully, all intensity melting away as if she was a lifelong friend. Her eyes lit up and were now a bright green, her luscious red lips turning into a quirky grin. She wore a form fitting purple shirt which ended just below the ribs and showed her tattoes. The tattoos connected to a banner that hung around her hips, underneath was a skirt and fishnet tights. She again smiled awkwardly... All the girls here were beautiful. "R-Rae.." She managed to scrape out. The girl nodded and then motioned for her to sit on the table. Rae stepped carefully over and onto the table. The girl's radiant eyes scanned her leg in quick succession, before she pulled away. "What caused damage like this?" She inquired. Making light conversation while she moved around gathering tools. Rae watched her intently, finally sort of relaxing. This girl did not mean her harm.. "A joklis.. A wild joklis.. Not a very skilled one, but, im a rookie." She said scratching at her small scar beside her eyebrow. The girl returned with a saw, nails, and a hammer, and just gave her a knowing look. Before her eyes flicked back to what she was doing. Rae's on the otherhand were widening. The girl giggled and took out the saw first. "Relax.. It will be fine. Ive done this lots." She reassured before closing in. She was inches away from Rae's leg and rae was wondering why she didnt just forcefully do shit. It was like she was actually respectful to her boundaries. She searched Rae's dark pools before rae gave a tiny nod. The girl gingerly unclasped the leg and said a spell in quick tongue before removing it. Rae glanced away and all over the room. "This is your place?" She asked as she moved her head to get a good look in. The floor was all hardwood and was covered by a huge old fashioned rug, similar to that of the girl's banner. The table she sat on was placed on the corner right beside the opening to a darkened kitchen. A desk was in the middle of the room and on it were candles and maps and tools and the works. It was definitely homey, and had that feel to it. "The one and only, yes." She said and sighed a little, her eyes sad. For some reason Rae was sorry for the girl in front of her, and as she turned back, she was wondering why the girl wasnt making a clanging noise as she brought down the hammer again and again. Rae raised her eyebrows. The girl wiped her sweat away, and looked up again. "Ah... Its a silencing spell. It lets me work on all my projects without messing up, or waking anyone." She informed Rae. Rae nodded and brought her hands to her lap. She snuck a glance at her amputated leg and then turned away in disgust, how had she managed to get a leg cut off? Why was she the weak link.. The girl in front of her only gave her a sympathetic smile and put the hammer down. "Hey... Having an injury, it does not mean you are not strong... It merely means, that you tried your hardest and needed someone to help you. Youre that new person right?" She said all at once. Before returning her gaze to the leg in her hands. "Y-y w-well, i guess so... I dont remember much about my ending up here, but i know that i must have been attacked.. By something strong." She muttered. "Yes. It managed to get your whole leg! Im glad it didnt hit an artery." She said and then stopped her sawing. "You know, i was the one that made your leg. I tried to make it as efficient as one could, but.. I guess its maybe not the best.." "Are you kidding? It feels just like my old leg." She said and then softened her eyes. The girl blushed a little before continuing the straightening of the leg. "Well in any case... Im glad to have you here with us.. There. All done." She said as she gave it a once over and then clasped it back onto her thigh. Rae stood up with the help of the girl and then took a few steps to test it. In her first try she collapsed and the girl caught her. She helped her on the second try and soon Rae could walk normally.  She turned to the girl and stuck out her hand awkwardly. The girls gaze softened and they shook hands. "Thank you.. For everything... But i didnt get your name." She said as they held that firm grip. "Astrin. Astrin Lekinley." She said and Rae nodded. At the door she waved to Astrin. And Astrin whispered to visit again sometime. Rae held her bleeding nose and swiped at her bleeding lip clumsily. She was shuffling quietly as she could back to the healing tent and she prayed that angekis not find her again, because she wasnt sure she could come up with a good answer. To her relief Angekis has left early and another healer patched her up, making light convo. He said to take care and she waved back to him.  Astrin sat on the stone and beckoned her over. She was perched with a bucket of potatoes, just peeling them. When rae hit her with a puzzled look she just giggled.  "These are for the fancy dinner we will all be enjoying tomorrow, in all the rookies honor, we do it for everyone. And its a good time to socialize." She explained. Rae smiled and sat down beside her. "Oh my god... What happened?" She asked concern in her voice as she dropped her knife and potato into the bucket. At the same time Rae thought she would drop the knife and she reached over clumsily so they both ended up with their hands on each other. Astrin's were on Rae's face and Rae's were on her hands. They both blushed and Rae flinched and took their hands away hurriedly. Rae smiled a lot at the little incident, and Astrin picked up the bucket again, She cleared her throat. "Im so sorry... I shouldntve... Really... That was so uncool.." She said. Rae shook her head furiously. "Astrin. Its okay." She said. Astrin smiled when she said her name. "Youve.. You got a piece of equipment, i see. Some shoulder pads, beads and... Oh! A piece of metal? I can work on a breastplate for you." She said happily. Rae looked at the poorly formed metal around her stomach and then agreed. "Would you?" "Metal is a specialty of mine, you know." She teased lightly and smiled softly. Rae's eyes lidded a little and they talked. About everything, their lives before the group.. Although they sometimes skipped over some parts. Rae didnt mention her dad and Astrin never mentioned parents. Rae helped Astrin peel potatoes until the sun came up. Astrin spotted it and then clasped a hand to her mouth. "We have been speaking since night.. We need to go to bed and then be on time for dinner.." She said worriedly. Rae only shrugged and picked up the bucket. "I can take that Rae.. Its no trouble, youre hurt..." She said gasping a little more when the light brought new bruises and cuts into focus."what happened..?" She asked taking the bucket against Rae's protests. "You need rest.. Im serious... Come to my place. You can crash there, i bet your tent is all cold." Astrin said warmly and gestering her to come. Rae followed Astrin and they both lay down on the floor, with Astrin having found blankets and pillows. They awoke later on to the rapping of knuckles on Astrin's door. Astrin groggily stood and walked to the door. She opened it and in stepped Marasada. She wore a cold look on her face at the sight of Rae. "I expected youd be in your tent. But i assumed wrong. Have you forgotten? We have a raid and a hunt today," she said and with that tossed Rae's fisher helmet at her. Rae caught it clumsily and put it down while she clasped her leg on. She was dressed from last night and then threw on her helmet. "I didnt forget. Why would i?" She asked as she walked out swiftly behind Marasada with a last look at Astrin. The girl only smiled warmly. Marasada spun around when she knew astrin was t there anymore. "What were you doing in there, huh?" "What is it to you? We arent together. Did it occur to you that i might have a sleepover here? No." She said satisfied. "Look. I like Astrin. Shes cool. But you stay away from her from now on. You made a commitment to me." Marasada spat out bitterly. Rae bit her lip angrily and crossed her arms. "Good." Marasada said shakily. They walked to the armorey and got Rae some handmedowns and a small metal dagger. (Rae wears white shorts, white tank top, bandages around her arms and leg, a metal leg from the thigh down and has a small dagger for safety at first. She is handed a fisher helmet to cover her for the meantime. Next she will recover metal sheets, clay beads and shoulder pads. Then she will gain meatl strips, better shoulder pads and a nice shirt. Then a jacket and pants, and gold bracelets. Finally she'll gain a purple head bandanna from Astrin.) Rae wiped sweat away from her forehead and bit her lip with anxiety. They were overhead a small lost group of refugees, who looked very sick and hurt. They wouldnt put up much of a fight. Rae hated this. She detested this with all her heart. It made her sick. Marasada made a bird call to her fellow raiders, there were five in total, and they descended upon them. Marasada jumped onto a helpless man and knocked him out. The baby in the small group let out a frightened wail as one of their gang members tied him up. Rae stood there frozen while all of them grabbed some of their meager supplies. Marasada tossed some shoulder pads, a shirt off the rack and a metal strip. She then raised her knife ready to kill when Rae tackled her. "What th fuck are you doing?!" Marasada screamed at her and struck her with all her force, leaving Rae with a bruised cheek that was split. She rolled off her. "Dont kill him! Please! Let him live... Please..!" She sobbed bringing a hand to her cheek and staunching the bleeding. Marasada's eyes and nose flared. She spat at the ground where Rae lay and stood wobbly. Drenays an older woman, furrowed her eyebrows. "Why did you striker her with so much force? We should spare these people, as she says. Shes a rookie. Marasada. A fucking rookie," she said forcifully. Marasada looked with disdain onto Drenays and then took a shuddering breath. "Youre right." She grumbled. Drenays look with satisfaction and then knocked the baby boy out. Rae winced and her cheek hurt even more. Derynises helped Rae to her feet and Marasada pushed past her, too mad to speak. "You all right? Took quite a hit there. You know, its not best to be on her bad side..." And with that her sleeve rolled up and revealed deep scars. Rae gulped and then tried for sarcasm. "So ive heard.." But it came out shaky and hurt. Derynises patted Rae's shoulder and helped her attach the shoulder pads and the nice shirt. "You dont have to feel bad for these refugees... It may seem harsh.. But.. Well. Im not sure i could help your conscience. Dont listen to me. Theres a feast in your guys's honour. All the rookies." She said tying up the shoulder pads tightly. Rae nodded grimly and bit her lip. "Derynises, Rae. We need to leave." A girl named kyndley, called following the already ahead group. "Come." She said warmly, and they walked. When they got back Marasada marched off to tell people what to do and Sile'a trailed along with her. Derynises advised Rae to see the healers and then ran off to her friends. Kyndley nodded at Rae and then left as well. Rae smeared some blood on her lips and neck to make it look less bad and then trudged off into the healer tent where an anxious and worried Angekis tended to her. "Rae! Oh my wood... What did this to you?" She asked dipping a wet cloth in some orange liquid. "A hubriy, we ran into one on our hunt... We caught quite a bit." She said dejectedly staring at the ground. "Rae... That looks an awful lot like a nail mark.." She said but didnt continue. Angekis finished healing her up and then patted her knee. "Tell me anything.." She pleaded. "Sure thing." Rae said with gritted teeth. She needed Astrin. "What the fuck happened?! Rae!!" She said and then examined the wound. "Hubriy..." She mumbled half heartedly. Astrin furrowed her eyebrows and her beautiful eyes swarmed with passion. "I.. I dont want to pressure you, Rae... but feel free to talk to me anytime.. Please?" She said. Rae nodded and they both sat in silence. Finally, Astrin took a deep breath and said something about Rae's new equipment. "Youve got new shoulder pads.. And a shirt.. And oh! A metal sheet. Come and follow me." She said and they both left towards Astrin's cozy home. When they got there she began to slave over the metal as they both talked. They talked about everything. "Thank you so much, Astrin. I couldnt have done any of this without you.." She said looking down at her shoes. "Rae... Im merely a metal worker. It is what i do. Have i told you my welding apprenticeship story?" "No, but i would like to hear--" "What are you doing here?! I thought i told you to get working? For Blists sake, Rae, youre just as bad as my other recruits. Go! Come with me!" She yelled hoisting Rae up by her bad arm.  She let out a cry of pain and the arm seemed to bruise a little more "Agh! Im sorry! Im Sorry! Please! I didnt hear you, when you said that.." Marasada glared at Astrin and Astrin stood up. "Why are you grabbing her with such force? Huh? She will come! Let her go!" She said and Marasada seemed to realise her forceful hands. She let go and spat at the floor. "You come to me. You hear? Astrin, isnt going to defend your bad behaviour anymore." She said and with that she stalked out. Rae collapsed onto the floor in a heap of shuddering sobs and shaking shoulders. She covered her mouth and held her arm. Astrin kneeled gently beside Rae and Rae hugged her furiously. "Its... Its going to be alright... Rae... I will come and help you prepare yourself for the dinner tonight." Rae stopped shaking a little and calmed herself. "What about your.. Y-your helping times." "It will be alright. I think." She said and helped Rae stand and helped her to the healer tent. "Rae! Again? Blists.. Come and sit.." She said and they both helped her into her seat. Angekis considered Astrin for a moment and gave her a hug. Astrin responded with a friendly pat on the shoulders and Angekis began working on Rae. "I.. Im not going to ask... Im just going.. Just going to address your bruises." "Thanks, to both of you." "No need to thank me. It is a duty of mine, and you are a friend." Said Angekis. Rae closed her eyes. That night Marasada beat a whole world into Rae. She slapped her and kicked her hips and shoulders. She showed almost no mercy. Rae managed to block only a few of them and even broke through her defence once.. But Marasada finally kicked out Rae's leg and Rae collapsed. Her nose bleeding profusely she was about to give in. Marasada kicked Rae's stomach and Rae pleaded for her to stop. She was done.  Marasada wiped sweat away and skulked off. Rae's vision was fuzzy and hazed, she saw things double. She lay in a ball for a couple hours just passed out. Her leg was out again and her nose was still bleeding. A dozen bruises and cuts were embedded in her shoulders, arms and leg. Her face was swesty and dirty and gross and she needed a healer and a bath... But.. She was so tired. Finally she awoke to a small humming and she was laying on a bed. She sat up so quickly she knocked heads with Astrin. Rae tensed up on herself and immediately broke into apologies. "Shhh... " she chuckled softly, but it was strained. Rae saw the worry in her eyes and she just lay back down, ashamed. It twisted in her gut, the shame. Astrin only wiped the cuts and bruises gently and bandaged some up. Afterwards Rae lay fully covered and helped out. Astrin was working on her leg and making sure it was properly aligned. Rae attempted tos it up so as not to ashame herself further. "Rae... I know... I know who... I know who it is.. Now." She spoke rough and faintly, like the words were hard to hear. Rae squeezed her eyes shut and then winced, as her cheek was still badly cut open. "P-p-pleSe... As--astrin.. Ple-please dont .. Say it..." She rasped. She had finally managed to sit up but wobbled a lot. Astrin stood up quickly and held Rae gently, tenderly, gingerly. Rae looked up her eyes filled with tears. She kissed Astrin very slowly. Astrin pulled away quickly. "I.. I.. You.. Youre not even... Youre not fully aware of what youre doing. Im sorry.." She said softly. "Astr--astrin.. Please.. I-im sorry.. I shouldnt have..." Astrin only smiled sadly and took a seat next to Rae's cot. "I havent told you my welding story, have i?" Astrin said. "No.. No.. Y-y-yo-you... Di-didnt.." She said grateful, to astrin, that they werent treading on bad memories. "I was very young, when i was born into the clan of innovators and builders. So you can imagine, the effect it had on me, an impressionable child. I decided naively that i wanted to be a welder, or forgist, as my mother had been. Now, my mother was a very hardworking woman, but she was in her own world, you know? She didnt have time for her daughter.. Ill get back to that.." She said and got up to make tea for both of them. "Now, the forgist clan was a tight knit group of refugees who had banded together, sort of like this one... Like the gogruel gang... They took to the dessert sands and set up a plathora of tents.." She said and her eyes got misty and faraway. "Working in the dead sun and baked sands was unlike any other experience ive ever had... My family was the refugees.. So it didnt matter that my mother never paid attention to me.. At least i know that now. As i was little i worked my self to my limits to get through my school apprenticeship, unbeknownst to myself, i was actually trying to get my mothers attention." She sniffed a little. "Anyways.." She shook her head. "I had my friends and my mentor, whom i loved dearly.. Sahianna, Mahour, kafalla, gengifer, and helenkis." "Helenkis, worked with me tirelessly to make sure my dream of becoming a welder came true. I wanted to make my ideas come true, and i viewed this as the only way to do so. It was when i was 10 that my mother took her profession to new lengths and heights. She soon decided to relocate us... She woke me up and told me to pack my things.. But i wouldnt budge. My family was where i had grown up." "She scoffed and left. I never saw her again, to this day.. I dont know where she went.. And it eats me alive.. I need to know.. Did she accomplish herself?" Tears flowed down her face and Rae took her hand from the cot. Astrin scrunched her eyes up and cried into Raes stomach. "I loved my family.. I loved my mother.. It was like two separate worlds.. I couldnt be apart of either... On one hand i had people who really loved me, you know?.." She couldnt continue for a moemnt. "But you loved your mother too. And you couldnt let her go." Astrin gulped and nodded. She wiped her tears away and continued. "Noticeably helenkis and my friends noticed my unusual quietness.. Helenkis and i saw each other for the last time that night. I had to trail my mother. I had to follow my dreams. I had to do something.. Had to find out if she loved me.. Welder.." "I remember so distinctly.. She kissed my forehead.. I touched her shoulder.. Then i turned away. She had a family to be there for. My friends came with me. They came with me.. They came with me.." "I found a shop in a small village and worked on becoming a welder." She said and stopped. "What about your friends?" "Dead and gone.. As far as i know.. We were separated.. In a town raid.." She said with anguish, covering her mouth. "I could.. I coild.. I could never do it.. I couldnt weld after that.. I just.. I just fucking couldnt.. The lady who had originally taken me in, let me go. She pitied me.. I had to find another way.. I wondered for many miles before, coming along this death trap. Ive been here ever since." Rae hugged Astrin for a long time after that. Astrin pulled away a little and looked Rae full in the eyes. They both moved further in and kissed tentatviely. Testing the waters... Rae then began to go a little deeper and moved her hands. Astrin pulled away again and looked down. "Are you sure about this?... You... You.. Need so much more.." She whispered. Rae only went in for more kissing. It turned into a whole lot more than that. The next morning Rae woke up to the sweet smell of sage and perhaps sweetgrass coming in through the window. The sun shone through in beams through the plywood and paper. Astrin was hugged up against Rae and Rae grinned. They were both undressed and they were both a mess, but they were more together now then they had ever been. It brought a fuzzy warm feeling flooding through Rae. But she shuddered... She would have to go again today.. With Marasada.. Who couldnt control her upsurges of anger. She sat up groggily and winced. Her whole body ached and also buzzed. Astrin lay fast asleep. Rae smirked and made to stand. Well at least astrin's floor was clean.  "Rae? Are you..." She said sitting up. She giggled and got up to help her up.  "Morning, beautiful." Rae gushed kissing Astrin. Astrin pushed lightly on Rae and she sat down. "Come on, youve got to get out before Marasada marches in here." Astrin said not smiling anymore. Rae grimaced and slipped on her regular white shirt and slid on her clay beads. She clasped the gold bracelets and Astrin reattached her metal leg. Rae stood wobbily at first and then slid on her new pants. Astrin pulled Rae close. "My rae of sun." She mumbled and kissed her. Understand keys and krates Gaang sitting down and eating as teenagers sort of Assassins creed conner and achilles sitting down for lunch
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fvbelhaft · 7 years
Text
A story about my old love.
I could say my relationship with him started in a good way, nothing really special, we were best friends. Just like the ordinary friendship, like the other. And I admit it that he’s the kindest guy i’ve ever met at the time. I dont tell my friends much about him bc i dont have any feelings for him and there’s nothing really great to tell. As the time goes, me and him got closer. We hung out a lot. with or without our squad (we were on the same squad). I talked to him everyday i guess, i mean not only just a face to face talking but literally everyday over chat and even if we’re at the same class he still talked to me over chat sometimes asking if ive done any tasks given, or asked whether i will go to canteen or not or everything, i also still remember that time we’re in the class but he talked over chat and asked me to make a smile on my face lol i remember i always gave that ‘unhappy face’, and sometimes he asked me to go out just to have a talk and as a good friend of course i’d love to, he also did school task really great, rarely skipped the school oh not rarely but never, and you have to know that he’s really great at playing his finger on guitar’s strings. omg i always adore the way he plays his guitar. well overall he’s such a great, talented, and obviously a fun guy to be around with. and eventually i fell in love with him. i dont expect that we could be something people called ‘a relationship’ bc i used to fall in love with my best friend, same case, i talked to hime everyday and boom i fell in love then it just didnt work out. so i promise myself not to fall in love with my bestfriend. tbh, i didnt mean to break it bc i didnt expect to have a relationship with him tho. lets just called it we were only get that skinny love where to people know that they have feeling to each other but too shy to admit it. well, we were. and i love it that way. no relationship, no status, no heartbroken. but then, right at the beach surrounded by the music that the wave made, he confessed his feelings and he asked me to be his girlfriend. how could i reject that? having a boyfriend which is also your bestfriend it’s just great. i’ve always wanted to marry my bestfriend. the first 3 months went well. we talked a lot, he came to my house, play around with my little sister, sometimes did our school tasks together, watching movies, and others. he met my mom, my uncle, my aunt well almost the whole family knew him and they loved to see me with him, i was so glad that everyone likes him. he had no idea my mom loved to talk about him to the family. told ya we talked a lot, about the past, the present and even a little about the future. no matter how crappy or happy my day was, at the end of the day i had something to look forward to — talking to him. It was as if he made my day complete. he gave me the reason to wake up the next day; to talk with him, to see him. he made me happy and contented. he always managed to make me smile even at my lowest and laugh even at my saddest. he made me realize that it’s okay to be me, plain and simple, no pretensions, just me. he made me feel cherished and special because he loved and accepted me just the way i was. he cared about me a lot. he loved to buy me some foods, what a kind of my dream boyfriend bc id rather have foods than a bouquet of flowers. you have no idea that it was almost in the middle of the night he came to my house just to give me some foods btw it was my favorite and he said that he missed me. he was on the tournament that made us seperated for only a week so he came to see me. it was not only once but he did it like really often. we also had a night ride, he picked me up at 2 am and i thought it was the best of the best memories he gave to me. and the other memories i couldnt tell too much more bc it makes me sad sometimes to look back and thinking that he is not the person he used to be. we were doing so great that it made me think that we could go on forever. til that day right on friday, 30th of oct i felt the change. he rarely reply my message, but im okay with that tho seriously. what i found strange was the replies. he replied with only a word not as usual he replied with words, emojis, but that day only a word like really. i mean im his girlfriend also his best fucking friend i could be his human diary whenever he needed. i wanna know whats the matter with him, if he needed me to go then i would but he didnt even say anything. been 4 days, he was still the same just like that friday. a cold man, closed mouth, short replies. i even got sick for thinking about him that made me have to skipped school on tuesday. i told him that i couldnt make it to school bc i was sick, he replied with a get well soon text without any emojis but i still expected that in the afternoon he would come to see me, but sadly he didnt. my mom was like “hey your boyfriend is here” but i knew it was a joke. im suffering. ive asked him to talk about this but he kept hiself away from me like he didnt want me anymore. then i decided to break up. because i think whats the point of staying when he wanted to go. i thought i was enough, i thought we would be okay, but i got it all wrong. I hold on even after you’ve let go. i tried fighting, fighting for him, fighting for us. i didn’t get tired. when it comes to him, i never get tired. But it hurts to see that he didnt do any efforts to make me stay while i was fighting so hard for him. no, i didn’t give up, i just accepted the truth that what you want was, to get away from me, to be free from me. it hurts like hell but i have to accept it thinking that it will make him happy. after all, my goal was to always make him happy even if i was not being part of it anymore. im sorry that i have always been selfish and i always think of myself, but with him, i could be selfless and give without expecting anything in return. that day when he asked for his freedom, i knew what was he really meant, i just wasn’t ready to let him go and will never ready of it. til that day, i gave him what he wanted. i’ve told myself it was for the best, tho actually i knew it was for HIS best not my best. after all, if he really wanted to be with me, he wouldn’t ask for it. maybe he loved me but he just didn’t want to be with me anymore. the sad thing is i have no idea whats the matter with me, with him or am i a boring person, i dont know until now. but if he asked me do i get bored on him? never in a million because i do love him way too much. and someone said that “it’s not about you’re boring. if he really loves you, no matter how boring you are he would stay in the name of love. because love doesnt care about how boring the person you love is, but love is about to stay and stick around no matter how hard the situation is” so yeah i broke up. i spent the next nights crying and locked myself at my room. sometimes i went to school and my friend found out that i had a kind of eyebags bc of crying and they asked whats the matter, i was really about telling them how i felt but instead of im just saying “im fine”. if you thought i could heal only a week or even a month, no i couldnt. i wasnt crying for only days, it’s been months and i cant even heal the fucking pain. he has been the kindest also the cruelest. im not angry nor sad, im more than disappointed and if there’s any words that could explain more than disappointed i would use it here. but breaking up with him making me became a writer. i wrote a lot about him.
tho it’s hard to write about him in the past tense because i don’t want what we had to be just in the past, i don’t want it to be just memories. i don’t want to be just a part of his past, i want to be in his present, and i want us to be part of each other’s future. but sadly there is only memories that left about him, those are what it will always be, memory. Our story may not end up with happily ever after. atleast i can tell my children someday i felt my happiest that once upon a time. i just wanted him to know that i will always care for him, no matter how much hurt he gave me — that was nothing compared to the happiness that he brought me. and also, i won’t be that cruel person, i’ll always care for everyone even they have hurted me so much. my life will go on but memories about him will forever linger in my brain. i know those things will make it harder for me to move on but i can’t help it. maybe it’s my unconscious saying that i don’t want to move on from you. maybe im still hoping that you will come back to your senses and come back to my life. Or maybe I’m just hoping and waiting and holding on because honestly, i still love you and i don’t know how not to. people say i should get over you. they say that i deserve someone better and he is just not good for me. they say that i will only get heartache after heartache if i continue on loving him. they told me to move on but they dont even know whats good for me and they dont even know how many times i’ve tried. i will get over you. someday.
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