#teaching helps a lot. my personality can take the very age-appropriate obnoxiousness and idiocy that comes with talking about literature

[itspileofgoodthings]

see i have all these spicy takes in the drafts that i don’t post out of self-restraint but then i see a spicy take that i hate SO MUCH and then i want to post mine out of revenge. it’s a terrible cycle tbh.

#it is actually and fundamentally not good for my weaknesses to be here lol #but I also love it! And love the community and the support and don’t find a ready-made replacement for that in real life #so yeah. I wrestle with it #if I could always use it as an opportunity to practice charity and restraint and shutting up it would be a good thing #but I have to be careful with any known potential irritant because I have such a temper and get so genuinely pissed off so easily #while also having poor impulse control #and like. it isn’t fair of me to be out there baiting people with my opinions and being provoking with takes I know will be upsetting #to the circle in which I move on here #but I also love to say a thing I think is true or feel is true and talking my way into a more nuanced opinion is how I do it! #but also like. the simple truth is that it also isn’t kind or charitable or necessary most of the time #no matter how I try to dress it up with comments on my personality and how I learn/like to analyze things #I really wrestle with it. there was a part of me that so at peace when I was gone from tumblr (essentially) for half a year #but again. I missed it #teaching helps a lot. my personality can take the very age-appropriate obnoxiousness and idiocy that comes with talking about literature #to teenagers #but I’m kind of so over trying to have a nuanced conversation online #it’s just so hard. I need the body language and the one to one you can only have in person for certain conversations #and disagreements. tbh it’s better and kinder and just BETTER if i stay out of it online #but I never do it perfectly #I’m just rambling. But yeah #thanks for listening #this has been #3 text posts in a row with Maria