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petoskeystones · 5 years

Text

In Which They Go To The Amusement Park

stucky, pepperony, thruce, danbeau, platonic clintasha

no warnings

tw: cursing, maybe anxiety/panic attack

5,556 words

chapter 1/1

no beta because I’m not a coward

Tony was excited to go to his favorite amusement park with his best friends. He was not excited about the fact he had to wake up at three o’clock in the goddamn morning to get there. But he did wake up, and it only took him 25 minutes to get dressed and meander his way into the kitchen.

“Morning, Jarvis. Hey, Peter- what the hell?”

“Hey Tony!” Peter Parker sat at his breakfast table while Jarvis- bless him- made bacon.

“And what are you doing here?”

“You told me to be here at 3:15!”

“Oh yeah.”

And Tony sat down and ate a piece of bacon and inhaled three cups of coffee while Jarvis looked concerned.

“Master Tony, we have to pick up Bruce Banner at three-forty-five.” So the boys grabbed some food and jumped in the car. Once Bruce was safely in the seat next to Tony (Peter had grabbed shotgun, and he was so cheerful at this ungodly hour that Tony didn’t complain) and Peter was rambling away up front, they raced to school and made it to the bus in time to grab great seats. Once they were seated Tony took the opportunity to look around. He saw Thor get out of a black escalade in the parking lot smiling, and as it drove away a hand from the driver’s seat waved (Hela, probably) and a hand in the back flipped him off (Loki, definitely)

Bruce had sat in the window and Thor quickly joined him, just across from Carol and her girlfriend Maria. Carol and Thor were chatting while their respective girlfriend and boyfriend slept. Steve and Bucky were sitting upright like the ridiculously well-adjusted people they were: Bucky was reading some Russian novel and Steve was sketching him. Clint and Nat were not sitting together but opposite each other. Natasha was listening to music and Clint was interrupting her every fifteen seconds. Natasha was capable of murder and Clint seemed to forget that fact. Scott Lang and Hope Van Dyne were watching Netflix and-

Pepper. Potts. She walked onto their bus? Pepper was on their bus? Tony nudged Peter, who was already vibrating with pent-up energy beside him: “Did you know Pepper, Rhodey, and Peggy were on our bus?”

“Yeah?”

“Sh-oot. Shoot.”

“You can swear in front of me, you know.”

And thus began the four hour bus ride to the competition and amusement park.

The ride up was actually fun? Peter was surprised that he made it either way though. He could barely make it from the Stark building to the school. And he usually would walk around the bus and maybe talk to someone at the front, or ask the teacher a question, but when Fury was the chaperone he decided to not risk it. He contented himself by scrolling his Tumblr dash for an hour, then checking his regular tags (“ravenclaw”, “adhd”, “thomas sanders” and “science side”), then he rearranged his apps. He also added some songs to his playlist and watched an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved. Then he texted every group chat he was a part of, chatted with Steve who was across the aisle to him, and took some aesthetic pictures. He also went over his sheet music, scoured the website for the park, and finally fell down a Wikipedia rabbit hole about Dracula that ended up with the Korean revolution. And then they were there.

He was in band, and so was Tony, Bruce, Thor, Carol, Rhodey, Hope, and Bucky. Everyone else was in orchestra. That’s why they got to go on this sweet field trip: they were competing in their individual categories and then would spend the day going on roller coasters.

The performance went well, surprisingly. Peter yawned during their second song but that’s all and he was singled out by the moderator for being the youngest! Skipping two grades had its perks. Then they were on the bus getting ready to go! Peter had his headphones, his earplugs, his earbuds, his phone and his portable charger and his money and his raincoat in case it rained. His science teacher had gone over the weather the day before and it would almost definitely rain, and so everyone brought an umbrella or poncho or jacket. Except Steve and Bucky.

“How does the weatherman know?”

“All that technology can’t be trusted.”

“And besides, Ms Bowey gets things wrong.”

They hadn’t brought anything and everyone was waiting for it to rain to see the looks on their faces.

So after a lot of rules and yelling from Fury, and some smiles and reminders to have fun and to be at the ballroom area for the awards at five pm from Hill, they were off!

Bruce was happy. He was happy to do this forever, maybe: walk around the park holding hands with Thor, smiling while Peter talked and talked and talked, while Steve and Bucky walked side by side with whispers and scowls at Tony, and while Tony suggested every huge and scary coaster in the place, while Nat and Clint walked a ways behind and bickered. No school, no stress, no worrying. Even when Peter stopped to put his headphones over his ears when it got especially crowded and noisy, even when Tony stopped dead and hid behind a bench (Pepper had passed) and even when Clint tripped over absolutely nothing and they had to stop to check that he hadn’t broken anything he was absolutely fine! What a concept.

Carol and Maria were having the time of their lives. They had gone on every medium-level coaster in the park and were excited to try the especially fast and scary ones. The ride up had been nice too: Maria had napped and listened with one earbud to their Queen playlist and Carol had taken the other earbud while she chatted with Thor and exchanged pictures of their pets. Carol’s cat Goose was the greatest cat ever, but Mjolnir was a huge golden retriever and he was pretty freakin’ awesome too.

Carol had only joined band because Thor joined band. Thor only joined because Bruce joined. Bruce joined because Tony talked him into it in sixth grade. Thor had been dismayed to find he was the only jock. Carol had had to choose between orchestra with her girlfriend and band with her best friend, but she decided violins were dumb and took up the trombone. It wasn’t her favorite thing ever, but they got to take cool trips. And now they got in line, holding hands, hair windblown and messy. About five seconds after they got in line it someone put up a sign: the ride was closed due to weather. Good thing, too: it started to pour about five minutes after they left the line.

It started to rain while the group looked for food and Steve was going to punch something, he swore. Tony had an umbrella, Peter had a raincoat, even Nat brought a jacket. Clint had a dumb poncho. Thor and Bruce had jackets too and he and Bucky had nothing. As everyone started to snicker, Bucky scowled and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, keep laughing Poncho Boy. “

“Poncho boy!” Nat started to laugh. “New contact name.”

“Oh, you’re getting rid of Katniss Ever-lame?” Clint fake-smiled at her.

“Yep,” Natasha already had her phone out and was typing. “Smile!” Clint looked confused and so his new contact photo was him looking confused in a poncho while the rain poured with the new name “poncho boi”. Everyone was already changing the name too. Steve smiled while Clint looked disgruntled. He was still, however, wet. Peter’s hair was starting to frizz and Bucky looked less than enthusiastic. He dragged his boyfriend, along with Tony, Peter,. Thor and Bruce, and Clint and Nat, into a random store that apparently had candy and ice cream. And ice cream cheered everyone right up.

It stopped raining and they headed outside in the post-rain warmth and haze. Everyone else was smiling outside and when Bruce tugged on his hoodie sleeve Thor looked up and saw a double rainbow. He took a picture and posted it to instagram along with most of their friends, but Peter won Best Caption.

The sky said GAY RIGHTS

The speakers around the park had been playing music the whole time and all of a sudden, You’re My Best Friend was playing and through all of the people, Thor saw a tall girl with dark, short hair start wildly waltzing with a shorter blonde girl in a flannel. He smiled.

Their group had a problem, Clint soon realized. Natasha, Thor, Bucky and Tony wanted to go on every single ride and coaster in the park. Peter, Steve and Bruce, along with him, wanted nothing to do with scary rides. So they compromised. They built up to the scary rides and they started with some of the wild, spinny rides; those were Peter’s favorite anyways. There was no line for them. They rode them about five times in a row: Clint and Peter (he was mad at Nat), Nat and Steve, Bucky and Tony (they looked ready to throw the other out of the seat) and Thor and Bruce. Peter weighed about five pounds so he was repeatedly thrown into Clint while they laughed.

Then they went on the pirate-ship that rocked from side to side. Peter wasn’t allowed to have headphones and Nat saw him get worried, so she sat next to Peter and let him latch onto her wrist during the ride.

“HOLY FREAKING- OH MY- Oh wait, this isn’t so bad!” Natasha laughed as Peter relaxed next to her (even though he maintained his grip on her arm) and once they got off of the ride everyone was a lot less stressed.

“YOOOOOO,” Tony yelled. Bruce looked over and saw one of those cheesy games: Guess Your Age, Weight or Birthday! If I Guess Wrong, You Win A Prize! The prize was a large stuffed sloth that was about as big as Peter.

“Nope.” Natasha flat out forbid Tony. “You want to drag that thing around the rest of the day and then on the bus? Bad idea, Tony. Just buy one, you’re literally a billionai-”

He was already giving the lady five dollars and hopping on the scale. Natasha sighed and resolved to join the group with Pepper, Rhodey, Peggy, and Carol and Maria next time.

“So the way this works is that I guess the weight. If I’m wrong by five pounds you win a small prize. If I’m off by ten pounds you win a big prize.” Tony nodded.

“Hmmmm. I wanna say ninety pounds.” Tony stepped on the scale.

“A hundred and ten! Jeez, okay. You win a big sloth.”

“Fine. Nice job, Tony.”

“How on earth do you weigh a hundred and ten pounds? I can bench press you,” Steve wondered.

“It’s all muscle, Steve.” At that, Bucky choked on his water.

They sat down at some benches in order to get situated when Steve’s eyes opened wide and Tony turned around and Pepper Potts, the most beautiful girl in school, his best friend Rhodey’s new sort-of best friend, the girl who was rumored to already have been accepted to Harvard business school, she was walking right towards him and he was holding a ridiculous sloth and also hanging out with a bunch of nerds and Thor.

“Oh, hey, Peg. Hi, Rhodey, hey Pepper!”Steve smiled like he wasn’t talking to a literal goddess, the head of the debate team as well as the head of the Women’s Club at their school, and the greatest person possibly ever.

“Hey, so Tony, Rhodey pointed out your sloth and we were wondering where you got it? It’s so cute!” Pepper smiled at him and Tony would have come up with a good response, he swears, something like oh yeah I won it at that game over there they guessed my birthday wrong! And his friends would have maybe kept their damn mouths shut because they all knew how long he had liked Pepper. He forgot, however, that at the particular late-night study session when he had admitted this, Bucky hadn’t been there and so Bucky ruined it all.

“Yeah the lady at that booth guessed Tony’s weight as ninety pounds because he’s a midget, haha, and he actually weighs one-ten! Which is probably the snacks we’ve all been eating today. It’s funny because Steve’s maximum weight at the gym is one-thirty, Steve could literally bench press Tiny- sorry, Tony, here-”

A few things happened at this point.

Bruce yelled “Bucky, shut up!” while

Steve clamped a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth.

Meanwhile Peter and Thor began to ramble to cover everything up and

Natasha apologized for “my dumbass friends.”

Clint was giggling and the worst part was that

Rhodey shot Tony an I’m-so-sorry-dude-I’ll-talk-to-her look while

Pepper walked away, confused and probably thinking Tony was a short, weird, loser who could be bench-pressed by her best friend’s ex boyfriend, and most likely deciding to never speak to him again.

“BUCKY!” Steve was berating his boyfriend. “Why would you say that?”

“What does it matter, Steve?”

“Bucky. Pepper- Pepper’s the first person I ever really liked, like I really like her!”

“The first person you really-really like?” Steve arched an eyebrow. Tony had confessed to liking him in their freshman year, and Steve had felt the same way for a while too, but it was all in the past now. “The first person ever?”

Tony rolled his eyes. Bucky, meanwhile got the drift.

“Ohhhhhh, shit, Tony, I’m so sorry.”

“As entertaining as this is, guys, we’re going to be late for the awards if we don’t haul over to the pavilion thing. It’s four fifty-five,” Bruce interrupted. “C’mon.”

When Bruce said “C’mon”, the Panic! At The DIsco song got stuck in Peter’s head and he hummed it while they jogged through the park. They found everybody in their school standing at the pavilion, milling around with the students from a bunch of other schools in the area. Peter felt his chest getting tighter and took a few deep breaths in order to calm himself down. Hill and Fury called them all into the huge room and told them to sit with their groups on the ground. Peter hated sitting on the ground. Everybody was so darn loud, why were people so loud? He was sandwiched between Peter Quill, who was yelling something, and T’Challa, who was at least talking at a normal volume to Nakia, and Quill was touching him and everybody was so loud still, and where was Tony? Why were people touching him? Why couldn’t he breathe correctly? He heard Thor yell something across the floor, and his jeans felt weird on his knees, and he really hated the way those jeans felt, why did he wear them? Was the floor always slightly sticky? He grabbed his headphones and slid them over his ears, screwing up his eyes and humming “C’mon” a little louder and tapping a beat on the sides of his headphones. WAs that kid from another school laughing at him? He had to get out of here. Natasha and Clint were the closest to him. Clint noticed Peter and signed “are you o k?” at him. “No. SOS” Peter signed back. (Most of them knew sign language. Clint was deaf and Peter, when things got to be too much for him, would slide headphones over his ears and revert to signing everything.)

“I'm gonna take Pete outside, Nat.” Cluint stood up, earning a glare from Hill, and grabbed Peter’s arm and took him outside. They sat on a bench and watched the ceremony.

The band was the only one in the mixed highschool category and got first place, but the orchestra got third. Peter smiled and met up with ihs friends afterwards, keeping his headphones on but chatting with them nonetheless.

Maria and Carol were in line for the biggest roller coaster in the park. Again. They had been kicked out due to rain, had to leave the line to watch the awards, and now they were back. There was a huge line and Pepper and Peggy were supposed to meet them in the line after finding Tony and Peter and trading Rhodey for Thor. They were looking at a picture of Goose on Carol’s phone when they heard Thor’s loud voice from the back of the line (they were about halfway there, and the line was long as hell) yelling “Carol! Maria! I am here with Pepper and Peggy!”

The girls and Thor started to walk past the people waiting and were almost there when some lady stopped him.

‘Excuse me, where do you think you’re going, young man?” Karen (Carol decided to call her Karen because she looked like a Karen) asked him.

“Well, those are our friends right up there and we were going to ride the roller coaster with them.” Karen looked up at Carol and Maria, still holding hands, who waved at her and smiled. Karen faced Thor again.

“No.”

“But we have to be in a group together! It’s the rules for our school trip. Let us up!” Peggy looked angry.

“Young lady, go to the back of the line!”

Peggy was going to yell some more, and Pepper was seriously annoyed. But then there was a chime from their phones.

Maria: just leave it

Maria: legit it’s okay we can go on this one and y’all can pick another ride

Maria: and meet at another, cooler ride

Carol: my girlfriend is so smart❤❤❤❤❤❤

Pep: fine

Thor: sounds good!

Peggy: i will fight this lady tho

Carol and Maria advanced in the line, and they saw that the coaster even went upside down. They looked at each other and grinned.

“Good practice for when you’re in a fight and your plane goes upside down,” Maria said with a smirk.

“Yes, Maria. Because going on one roller coaster will prepare us for the Air Force. Mhmm. Yep. Okay. Put that on your application, Rambeau.

Carol and Maria continued the back-and-forth that Bruce and Thor loved to watch on their frequent double dates until it was their turn on the roller coaster-

“Sorry, girls. The ride’s full. You get to be first on the next turn!”

Carol was hopping up and down in excitement, and Maria was excited too (just a little less… bubbly) and that’s when the ride lurched forward and took off. They saw how fast it was and it was going to be so cool and then they heard the mechinery of the ride sort of stop. They waited for amminute but they couldn’t see the roller coaster come speeding back around. And then the announcement:

“Laaaaaaaaaaidies and gentlemen, the roller coaster is experiencing technical difficulties and we’re going to have to shut it down for the rest of the night. Our apologies again, and have a lovely evening!”

Maria snapped a picture of the priceless look on her girlfriend’s face.

Peggy, Pepper and Rhodey were having a great time on their own. Peggy was happy to see how much fun all of her friends were having, but the one thing that would have made her day almost-perfect was having a boyfriend there with her. Not because she particularly cared about romance right now, not because she was pining over Steve (she wasn’t) but because she was in a group of either five or three all day. Carol and Maria were roller coaster buddies for life, and Pepper rode with Rhodey because she was the one who had invited him along with their group to spend the day away from his best friend anyways, it would be rude to make him ride with Peggy or with a stranger. So Peggy was stuck with the “dad in the family of three” or the “third wheel” or the “flirty boy who had no sense of boundaries” and she was sick of it. On this ride, which might be one of their last, she turned around to see her prospects and decided that she might as well be proactive and pick someone who looked nice and her age and who would be willing to shriek with terror and exhilaration in the front seat.

There was a group of about seven boys directly behind them and so she took a deep breath and pivoted around, smiling.

“Hey, I’m Peggy. I’m in a group of three-” she indicated Pep and Rhodey, “-and so I was wondering if any of you guys would want to ride the roller coaster with me? Preferably someone who doesn’t mind the front seat and my incessant yelling.”

The boys looked at each other and Peggy worried she was about to be made fun of, or worse, put in yet another bad situation, but instead a boy with a smile and a crutch walked forward.

“Daniel Sousa, roller-coaster-rider extraordinaire, at your service, Peggy.” He smiled and she smiled back and the boys behind her started to giggle and Pepper did too. Peggy didn’t care, though.

Apparently Daniel wanted to go into the military, maybe the government, same as Peggy. He was here with a different school and had lost his leg after a bad car crash when he was a kid. He did martial arts and liked roller coasters and Peggy had a good feeling about her roller-coaster buddy.

The coaster itself was great. Pepper hated it but Rhodey, Peggy and Daniel loved it. And afterwards, when they were leaving to meet Carol and Maria at another ride, Peggy said “Well, it’s been lovely riding roller coasters with you.”

“Come on, Daniel! Give her your number and let’s get outta here,” one of Daniel’s friends called. Peggy and Daniel turned red.

“Shut up, Ray.”

“Wait!” Peggy grabbed a random piece of paper in her pocket, it turned out to be a note Steve had tossed her on the bus reading “does peter quill ever shut the heck up” but she scribbled her number on it and handed it to Daniel.

‘If you ever want to talk more about politics and martial arts, let me know.” Daniel nodded and Peggy smiled before walking away with her friends. As soon as they were out of earshot from the boys, Pepper whooped and Rhodey high-fived her.

“Tooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyy,” Peter groaned in the arcade. “Lend me a dollar. Please. You’re part of the reason I lost five bucks on the bus! You’re a billionaire. Please.”

“What do you want to play, anyways?”

“I want to do the claw machine? They have a stuffed Bulbasaur I’m almost positive I could win.”

“Fine. Have a dollar. One dollar only.” Tony handed it to Peter, who grinned and ran to the machine. Clint was trying to get a stuffed Rowlet, and as soon as he lost Peter pushed him aside.

“My turn, poncho boy.”

Peter did win the Bulbasaur, and he gloated to Tony the whole way to the next ride.

“Okay. So some of us want to go on the huge, scary rides. And some of us want to go on the smaller ones. So Rhodey and Maria are meeting us here, and I’m going with Thor, Bucky and Tony and meeting Pep, Peggy and Carol at that ride that goes up the huge pole thing and drops down? And you guys can go on another ride. Deal?” Natasha finished speaking and nodded at Rhodey and Maria.

“Pep and Peg are at the Big Scary ride, Carol’s meeting them there after she eats her ice cream. Have fun!” Maria waved them off and the new group set off for some smaller rides.

They found one that didn’t have a very long line. It was basically a tilted platform, with a big circle on top with the seats. The circle spun around, slightly elevated, and Bruce took a long look at the machinery underneath. It was greasy and not very well maintained, but still cool.

Peter was hugging his Bulbasaur (“Her name is Delilah!”) and while they stood in line and watched some smaller kids go around and around, Maria picked Delilah up.

“Aww, how cute.” Clint grabbed Delilah away and put her in between the metal railing separating them from the ride. And Peter made to grab Delilah but only knocked her onto the ride. He looked in horror as she spun around, fell off, rolled to the edge of the underneath platform, and settled mere centimeters from falling into the greasy, deep pit of machinery and despair.

“Clint! Look what you did!” Peter said as they watched, transfixed by the steady brushing of the top platform brushing her bulb. The ride stopped, finally after what seemed like an eternity. Peter rushed forward and rescued Delilah, sticking his tongue out at Clint. The ride was starting, and Rhodey yelled “Steve! Your hat!” but it was too late and Steve’s army patterned baseball hat was blown off onto the platform, then off the platform, then it slid down to the gate. After the ride he grabbed it, ignoring the snickers from his friends, and they set off to find their friends. They were not in line for the Big Scary ride, on the ride, or anywhere near the ride.

“I’ll call Natasha.” Clint grabbed his phone and the conversation on the end Peter heard went like this:

“Hey Natasha, where are you? I can’t hear you. Yes I’m wearing my hearing aids, zhopa. I’m hanging up now.” Clint hung up and then said “No idea, couldn’t hear.”

Peter, Bruce and Rhodey went to their group chat with Tony:

Petey boi: tony where u at

Platypus: yeah tiny where r u

Bruce Banner: Tony, where are you guys?

Tiny stank: can’t talk rn guys

“Nothing.”

“Let’s get some food, then, we haven’t had dinner,” Maria suggested.

“Yeah! Let’s get this bread!” Peter punched the air and Btruce closed his eyes in silent pain. He missed his lab, with its complete silence and absence of memes.

They found the food and sat down on some benches in a sort of courtyard area, laughing at Peter as he stood on the tiptoes of his converse to order some tacos. Then Clint saw poor Delilah (who had already been through quite an ordeal) and grabbed her and sat on her.

Peter returned, saying “Dinner orders are in! For Maria, Clint and Steve: hotdogs! For Steve: a slice of pizza! For me and Bruce: Tacos! Where the frick-frack is Delilah?”

Clint snickered and everyone else maintained a poker face.

“You have to find her and then we can leave.”

“Give her to me, Clint!”

“Why do we always assume it’s me that does these things?”

“Because you’re the only one who does these things.” Everyone nodded.

Peter, resigned to his fate, walked in circles around the courtyard while Clint shouted “HOT” and “COLD” and Maria stifled laughs. FInally Peter gave up.

“Where is she?”

Clint stood up, Peter started to pounch Clint’s arm, and then their friends walked up.

“Topolino, what’d poncho boy do to you?”

“He took Delilah, Tony.”

“I swear to god, Tony- if you just referred to Peter using an Italian word that parents call their small children- I’m gonna-”

“Shut it, Steve. Like Bucky doesn’t call you dorogoi more than he calls you Steve.”

They kept bickering through two more small coasters, and another spinny ride, and then when it got dark they walked back to the bus. It was eight pm and they were going home.

Pepper was standing with Peggy and Carol, Rhodey and Maria jogged over and some of Peter’s group followed. Tony went over, too, and so Peter followed and left Clint, Nat and Steve on a bench looking at a vine compilation.

‘Hey… guys,” Tony said and Peter watched him not look at Pepper, but like in a subtle and chill way so it was less of a I’m-not-looking-at-you-because-Bucky-made-me-look-like-an-absolute-buffoon

And more of a I’m-just-really-interested-in-this-story-Rhodey’s-telling-about-that-one-guy-behind-you-on-the-ride

And Peter thought he was doing very well. Then they all drifted away to their own groups and Tony returned to casting wistful glances at Pepper, who was chatting with Peggy and some boy with a crutch and a wide grin.

“Y’know, in the cheesy romance movies, the boy wins a stuffed animal and gives it to the girl. Give your sloth to Pepper!” Bucky aid it like it was an amazing plan.

“No,” Natasha and Peter said in unison.

“If you had won the smaller sloth, and if Bucky had kept his mouth shut, and if you had given the hypothetical smaller sloth to her earlier, and if you were better friends with her, maybe. But if someone you were good acquaintances with gave you a sloth that was, like Peter’s size, and this was after that same person’s friends had acted like idiots- me and Peter not included- that would be red flags that that person had a huge crush on you. Don’t do it.”

Then they were called to get on the bus, and so they did.

AN HOUR LATER

Natasha was smiling at her phone. She was watching her favorite anime, First Squad. Her head was leaning on the chilly bus window, her feet were dangling off of the seat, one earbud was out, and she could hear the bus sounds around her.

Pepper and Peggy giggling and looking at Peggy’s phone.

Bruce and Thor watching Masterchef on Thor’s iPad.

Peter humming a Panic! At The Disco song right behind her.

Tony’s classic rock very faintly, he was blasting it in his headphones.

Carol and Maria quietly singing “Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy”.

Rhodey whispering to Tony, something like “it’s okay, she didn’t care.”

And of course, Clint Barton being a bitchass bus-mate.

Clint was her best friend, a decision she regretted almost every day. Right now she just wanted to watch some anime, relax, and maybe doze off a bit. But Clinton Francis “Poncho Boy” would not let that happen.

Natasha had brought snacks, and in the aisle of the grocery store at ten pm the night before, a big box of Welch’s Fruit Snacks seemed like a good idea.

“Nat, I want a fruit snack.”

“Natty, I can’t open the fruit snack!”

“Tasha, can I have another one? This one is mostly raspberries and those suck.”

“Natka, I started season three of Stranger Things and I swear to god, If Joyce Byers doesn’t get a break this time I will destroy the Monster Of The Year myself.”

“Holy shit, Tashie, you will love this season of Stranger Things.”

Finally Natasha opened her texts and just texted him with both earbuds in.

Poncho boy: it’s too loud on this fckin bus

Nat: take out your hearing aids and shut up

Nat: <shutthefuckupandgotosleep.mov>

Poncho boy: rude

Poncho boy: u know what

Nat: what

Poncho boy: imma watch buzzfeed unsolved

Poncho boy: also fuck you

Natasha was fine with that as long as Clint shut up, so she lay down and tried to fall asleep for a bit but Clint was also laying down (he took off his shoes because he was a horrible human being) and their legs were too long to fit on the seats, so after a brief (read: five minute) foot war they settled by having Clint put his legs on Nat’s seat and Natasha balanced her toes on the edge of Clint’s, she was shorter by about six inches. Clint soon fell asleep and Nat rested her head on her arm and finished her show.

Peter was less bouncy on the ride home. He got a seat to himself and so he curled up with The Office, spinning a fidget spinner and chuckling quietly, and then settled into his playlist until they pulled into the parking lot. That’s when the BIG THING, the thing that made this field trip go from “just another band trip” to a trip that was legendary in their friend group.

TOny had been eating the whole trip: chips in the morning, and then ice cream and tacos and cotton candy at the park, and on the bus home he finished off Natasha’s fruit snack stash with Clint and ate a Hershey's bar he found in his bag. Then he watched Netflix the way home on the bumpy bus ride. And the bus stopped, Peter Kept his earbuds in and then… something changed in the bus. Peter pulled out his earbuds:

So don't go breaking my heart

I won't go breaking your heart

Don't go breaking my heart

And nobody told us

'Cause nobody showed us-

“What the fuck just happened?”

“LANGUAGE, Mr. Lang.”

“Tony? You OK?”

Tony Stark, the heir to the biggest tech company in the world, a genius, the coolest dude in school, had just thrown up in the dimly lit bus aisle with his crush- the beautiful, incredibly smart and poised Pepper Potts, sitting two seats in front of him. Natasha started to yell.

“You guys. Let’s just get off of the bus, everyone.” Clint supplemented with “Shut up, Burch. It could have happened to anybody.”

Everybody got off of the bus except peter, Tony, Delilah, and the giant sloth that Tony named George. Tony looked at Peter. He really didn’t look that bad.

‘I should have given her the sloth, Pete.”

Peter laughed despite everything and helped Tony off of the bus, where JARVIS was waiting.

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screamingatanemptyroom · 6 years

Text

Fictober18 Day 9

Original Fiction

Prompt:“You shouldn’t have come here.”

9 days in a row. I’m doing my best!!!

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

I muttered to myself as I stood in the open doorway. It wasn’t as if I had stepped into a shady place, like a back alley, or an abandoned warehouse or a gang’s hideout. It was just a normal living room, sparsely decorated with pictures of flowers and a single blue rug. I had bought those decorations myself, and briefly wondered if they would still be considered my property or if it would be thought of as taking back a gift.

I knew this place well; after all, it was my fiancé Noah’s apartment.

We initially had plans to eat dinner here, but he called me and said he had to work late, and not to bother. I unfortunately had made the decision to come by and make his favorite, bacon cheeseburgers and green bean casserole for him as a surprise. I thought that after all the stress of wedding planning this week on top of working late, he would probably appreciate a nice cooked meal.

Obviously this would lead to such a clichéd outcome, I probably should have anticipated it.

I had been surprised as I walked up that the lights in the living room window were on, Noah was fairly strict about not wasting electricity. I made a mental note to mention it to him next time he bugged me for forgetting to turn out a light on my way out of a room. Chuckling to myself, I used the spare key to let myself in.

Only to discover my fiancé and a strange woman engaged in amorous activities.

I was now more annoyed than ever that the living room light had been left on. I would have been much happier not seeing this scene in decent lighting. As I stared at the couple silently, who were currently desperately trying to cover up their nudity while shouting in surprise, I couldn’t help but wonder:

What should I do with the dinner supplies in the bags I was carrying?

After all, although I liked bacon cheeseburgers, I wasn’t really a big fan of green bean casserole. I only ever made it because Noah liked it. So should I leave the ingredients here? I hated to waste the food, but I felt he really didn’t deserve extra groceries as a reward for cheating on me.

Did I have any friends who like green bean casserole?

“Maria?! What are you doing here?” Noah was shouting, breaking my concentration.

I thought over his question and statement carefully. “I came here to cook you dinner as a surprise. This was obviously effective as a surprise, although not effective in terms of making you dinner, which will probably not happen now. Actually you probably already ate… unless you were going to have a post-coitus meal?”

It would probably be uncomfortable to do such activities on a full stomach. I looked around and didn’t see any signs of food. Perhaps they were going to order out? In that case maybe it would be more convenient to leave the green beans with them. I felt strongly that I should keep the cheeseburger ingredients. They were more expensive and I was hungry, after all.

“This isn’t what it looks like, I swear!” Was he still shouting? He seemed much noisier than normal.

“It looks like you were engaging in sexual intercourse… I am confused as to what else you can do naked while rolling around on the floor.” I wrinkled my brow. “By the way, that’s pretty dirty. I vacuumed that carpet a month ago. I’m pretty sure you haven’t cleaned it since then. Make sure you shower after you complete your activities.”

They both stared at me silently. I let out a sigh of relief. That was much more comfortable than the screeching and shouting. I looked around the apartment, thinking about the objects I left behind over the course of the five years that we dated. How long should I wait before sending someone over to pack these up? I really wanted to make sure I at least got my cappuccino maker back. It was expensive.

Noah stepped forward, a kitten blanket wrapped around his lower half. Ugh. That was my blanket. I mentally crossed it off the list of objects that I wanted back. He could keep it.

“Maria… I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but we can work this out…”

“I’m thinking about the distribution of communal property.” I sighed. “Obviously now is not the right time for me to pack up my personal items, as it would cut into your date with this young lady, but if it is convenient I will send a friend over on Saturday to pick up my things.”

“Wait…”

“Oh, you must be worried that after these years you can’t remember what object are mine, right? It’s fine, I will email you a list of objects to pack up. If something seems to be in error. You may feel free to write me back.”

“That’s not what…!”

I walked into the kitchen and unplugged the cappuccino maker. Carrying it under my arm, I returned and gave them a polite smile.

“I will take this with me however, in case negotiations break down. I do not want to part with this particular item. I trust you have no objections.”

Even if he did I was still walking out with it. After all, he would likely not be willing to chase me down the street while naked.

“Maria, let’s talk this out, we’re getting married…”

I stared at him in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry. We’ve miscommunicated. I thought there was a common understanding that me catching you having intercourse with another person was an automatic cancellation of the affianced relationship.” I shook my head. “That was my assumption. In that case I will make it clear.” Looking him in the eye clearly, I stated slowly. “We are not engaged anymore. We are not dating anymore. You will not call me, text me or communicate with me or my friends unless you have concerns regarding the distribution of property. I will let my friends and family know that the wedding is off, and you will be responsible for your side. Any wedding gifts that you have received should be returned.”

I stepped back towards the door, clutching my cappuccino maker. “If you have questions…” I thought it over. “Too bad. I don’t wish to talk to you anymore.”

“…” He was staring at me, his mouth open in shock.

“One last thing.” At my words, he perked up, and stepped closer with an excited expression. Was he expecting me to say something positive to him?

“You may have the green bean casserole ingredients.” I graciously put down one of the grocery bags. “Please refrigerate them appropriately if you do not plan on making it tonight.”

With that I left the apartment.

“Wait, that can’t be right, you left something out.”

My friend Rose stared at me, as she bit into the bacon cheeseburger I had made for her after coming to her house after leaving Noah’s apartment. I thought it over.

“No, I’m fairly certain that I have accurately described all the events that happened while catching my fiancé cheating.” I also took a bite of my cheeseburger, nodding in appreciation. The new seasoning I had tried out was very tasty.

“Seriously? You’re a freaking black belt! Why didn’t you beat him up?!”

“It seemed unfair to take advantage of the situation. I doubt he would be able to put up a fight given his mental shock and nudity. Plus I don’t wish to be charged with assault.”

She covered her face in her hands, groaning loudly. “Are you going to be okay?” She looked up, and I smiled as I saw the concern in her eyes. “I mean, you’re really calm right now, but it can’t be that easy to get over your fiancé cheating.”

I spoke around another bite of cheeseburger. “I am very upset, but in the end, he did me a favor. I would much rather break up with him now then divorce him in 5 years for a similar issue.” I shrugged. “Plus, I really must examine my own feelings. I might not care about him as deeply as I thought, given my reaction to his infidelity. My initial emotion to catching him was honestly not anger or sadness, but mild relief.”

“Really?”

“Really, I think this will be a better start for me.”

She sighed with relief, leaning back in her chair. “Well, that’s good. But if you need to talk to someone… or need someone to hide a body…I’m there for you.”

Did I just hear something slightly disturbing slipped in among the sweet comforting words of my friend? I must have misheard right? Shaking my head, I chuckled to myself.

“Oh, but he’s definitely dying in tonight’s update.”

Rose laughed. “Please make it terrifyingly painful.”

“Deal.” I thought it over to myself. I made a funny web comic based loosely off of my life and the interactions between myself and my friends. Noah had obviously been a recurring character. I had already planned out a funny bit on trying to pick out cake for the wedding, but obviously this would need to be redrawn. As I planned more and more gruesome and ridiculous ways to kill off Noah in my comic, Rose finally asked a question.

“So does this mean you’ll finally meet up with that online friend of yours?”

I looked up, confused. “You mean Atlas? We haven’t talked in months.”

“Not since he confessed to liking you and asked to meet up.” She grinned. “You turned him down then, right?”

I nodded. “Of course, I had a fiancé, after all. Once he wanted to be something more than friends I couldn’t lead him on.”

“What about now?”

I thought it over. Atlas and I had been friends online for about 3 years now. We had met on a forum for online artists. He mostly wrote fan fiction, but we each appreciated the other’s work. We had talked daily, having a surprising amount of things in common, but… when he asked to take things further, I had distanced myself. I thought it over, surprised at the warm feeling I had at the thought of him.

“I’m not sure, though. I just broke up with my fiancé.” I stood up, and gave her a sad smile. “Let me sort out my feelings, and then I’ll consider it again.”

“That sounds fair.” She stood up and gave me a hug. “Take the time you need… wait until I tell that brat he’s got a chance. He owes me big time… are you leaving now?”

Again, I felt I heard her mutter something under her breath that didn’t make sense, but in the end, I ignored it, focusing on her question instead.

“Yes, I have an early shift at the store tomorrow. Will I see you there as well?” I worked at the local bookstore, while Rose worked in the café.

“Nope, tomorrow’s my day off, but Brandon will be there.” She grinned.

“Ok.” I was unclear why she was reporting which of her co-workers would be there, but appreciated it nonetheless.

“Matchmaking plans phase one… start!” she was muttering again.

“What was that?”

She quickly arranged an innocent expression. “Nothing! See you tomorrow!”

“I thought…” Wasn’t tomorrow her day off? Why would I see her?

“Bye!” She pushed me through the door, barely giving me time to grab my cappuccino maker on the way out.

I stood outside her house, mildly shocked in the change in her behavior before looking down at my appliance in my arms.

“I guess it’s just you and me now.”

With that, I made my way home. Somehow, despite the terrible direction this day had gone, I couldn’t help but feel that something new and exciting was about to start.

#fictober18 #short story #writing #relationships #story start #cheating #friendship

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boricuareads · 6 years

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Upcoming Summer Book Releases By Latinx Authors

[image description: orange and yellow header that reads “latinx summer reads 2018″ with two woman dancing emojis flanking text]

Hello! May is almost over, which means that in Puerto Rico summer’s arrived (officially... it’s hot all the time). Therefore, I gathered a list of books that will be released from June 1st to August 31st, just in time for you to catch up with your Summer Reads. This is by no means comprehensive, just some I could find in various genres and reading categories (there’s some LitFic, YA, MG, along with some other ones in this list).

Bruja Born (Brooklyn Brujas #2) by Zoraida Cordova: The sequel to the critically acclaimed Labyrinth Lost, this book follows Lula Mortiz’s struggle with the fact that she came back scarred (...quite literally) after her unwanted stay in Los Lagos as well as the fact that her boyfriend and her classmates die in a car accident. That’s A Lot! But with her healing powers, she’s trying to fix things! If fixing things means bringing them back from the dead, that is. And sometimes things don’t want to come back... (Release Date: June 5th, 2018)

Fruit of the Drunken Tree by Ingrid Rojas Contreras: Set in Colombia during the 1990′s reign of Pablo Escobar, two different girls come of age in a world surrounded by violence, sacrifice, and betrayal. This is Rojas Contreras’s debut novel, and the cover and plot look lush and enticing. (Release Date: July 31st, 2018)

Lucky Luna by Diana Lopez: This middle grade deals with Luna Ramos, a mischievous fifth grader who loves her hats (*Funky Hat from Wizards of Waverly Place starts playing*). However, after acting naughty during her cousin’s Quinces, she’s banned by her family from ever wearing hats (NOOOO!). To make matters worse, Luna’s cousin, Claudia, is transferring to her class. (Release Date: August 28th, 2018)

Love War Stories by Ivelisse Rodriguez: A collection of stories written by a Puerto Rican author (wepaaa!), this collection deals with love, heartbreak, hope, and survival in the face of trauma. Most importantly, the book deals with the power that Puerto Rican women have in each other and in their stories. (Release Date: July 10th, 2018)

Sweet Black Waves by Kristina Perez: This YA retelling of the tale of Tristan and Eseult is told from the perspective of Branwen. In this novel, Branwen is a lady-in-waiting for the princess when her healing powers are awakened, leading to dreams of peace as well as possible betrayal. (Release Date: June 5th, 2018)

The Fall of Innocence by Jenny Torres Sanchez: A Contemporary YA dealing with the repercussions of trauma and assault, this text is incredibly important at this time. There aren’t many books that deal with a Latina teen’s experiences with assault, which is actually a part of the systemic machista culture we’re brought up with. I’m looking forward to this book. (Release date: June 12th, 2018)

Flor and Miranda Steal the Show by Jennifer Torres: In this middle-grade about family and friendship, Flor and Miranda have opposite desires: Flor is the daughter of a zoo owner on the brink of downsizing to make room for a music group’s stage; and Miranda is the lead singer of said music group. Will they be able to sabotage each other’s wants and still be friends? Or will they be willing to risk it all? (Release Date: June 12th, 2018)

My Year in the Middle by Lila Quintero Weaver: Lu Olivera sits in the middle row in Miss Garrett’s 6th Grade classroom. In the 1970′s, when Black and White segregation was still pretty explicit and enforced, Lu must decide whether to literally cross the racial divide by befriending Belinda Gresham, or continue maintaining the status quo. An interesting take on race and the intersections of oppression, this is one historical fiction I’ll have my eyes out for. (Release Date: July 10th, 2018)

A Gift from Abuela by Cecilia Ruiz: This picture book deals with the love and connection between an Abuela and her grandchild. It seems full of tender moments and the art was done by the author as well! (We love a multi-threat Latina) [Release Date: August 7th, 2018 (MY BIRTHDAY!)]

Marcus Vega Doesn't Speak Spanish by Pablo Cartaya: If Cartaya’s name sounds familiar, it’s because he’s the one who wrote the widely lauded The Epic Fail of Arturo Zamora. Marcus Vega’s story follows him as his family travels to Puerto Rico and they road trip around the island in search of Marcus’s father. This is a middle-grade novel you don’t want to miss. (Release Date: August 21st, 2018)

There’s No Base Like Home by Jessica Mendoza and Alana Mendoza Dusan: Written by a dynamic-duo of hermanas, this Middle-Grade novel explores friendship, following in your sibling’s footsteps, and fitting in a new environment. Sophia Maria Garcia is entering middle school and trying out for the softball team, just like her sister did! Except not everything is going according to plan, and her best friend is ignoring her because Boys? I feel like this book could be a fascinating study into gendered sports and many other themes that aren’t often explored with Latinx characters. (Release Date: June 19th, 2018)

The Hidden City (Garza Twins #3) by David Bowles: The third in a sprawling middle-grade fantasy series, The Hidden City once again follows the adventures of twins Carol and Johnny in their search for the Ollamat in a rain god’s paradise (Exciting!!!). Except maybe they have a new foe? And it may be family?? WHAT!? (Release Date: August 14th, 2018)

The Carrying by Ada Limon: A poetry collection that is sure to kick you in the chest, and Limon is never known to pull her punches. Her word punches. I loved Bright Dead Things and this one is guaranteed to make you feel things as well. (Release Date: August 14th, 2018)

Stripped by Zoey Castile: Listen, this Adult Romance has a stripper falling in love with a schoolteacher, and they’re neighbors as well! This Maybe Unrequited Pining story is sure to hit all the things you want to read about. (Release Date: August 28th, 2018)

*updated to add The Hidden City on 05/28/2018*

**updated to add The Carrying & Stripped on 05/29/2018**

If you know of a book that will be published within the time frame mentioned above, please let me know so I can boost it. In the meantime, I hope you found this helpful and are interested in these fantastic books.

If you’re interested in supporting me, please make sure you follow me here for more posts like this, rec lists, reviews, edits, and more! You can also follow me on Twitter and Instagram.

Amazon Wishlist / PayPal

#mine #adriana recommends #book list #latinx summer reads #books #booklr #bookish #book blog

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makinomariasama · 6 years

Text

Translation: Blog Post: April 1st, 2018

Enjoy, and please don’t repost without credit!

<3 Kishimoto Yumeno-chan <3

Today, April 1st, is Yume's birthday Yume, happy birthday *

Hina Fes Yumerin solo song Maria listened to it today ♪ Yume is a good singer :) I thought.

Since I was a Kenshuusei, I have the image that Yume really practiced the fine details of singing. At singing lessons, I thought, Yume is amazing. * Yume, today too, you were really shining *

Yume, have a LOVE Rin year *

Play. Live. Raise. Let's Go to SATOYAMA & SATOUMI 2018

Hello! Project 20th Anniversary!! Hello! Project Hina Fes 2018

Today too, truly, thank you very much :)

<3 Tasaki Asahi-chan <3

I saw Asahi-chan <3 I was able to see her two days in a row <3

Yesterday, Asahi-chan said, "Maria, did you grow?" :) <3 And today, Asahi-chan said, "Maria, are you taller than you were yesterday??" :) <3 :) <3 Asahi-chan is cute Maria's beloved Asahi-san <3 Maria was super happy to be able to see Asahi-chan

Let's Go to SATOYAMA & SATOUMI 2018 Hina Fes 2018's Secrets

To be continued in the next MariBlo Look forward to it okay

Maria-chan's News

Anime "MAJOR Second" Play Ball Soon!

NHK General April 2nd from 4:20pm~4:45pm

[MC] Naitsu’s Hanawa Nobuyuki-san, Tsuchiya Nobuyuki-san Morning Musume 18’s Makino Maria

[VTR Appearances] Maeda Kenta Sumitani Ginjiro Akiyama Shogo Fujiwara Natsumi-san (playing Daigo) Nishiyama Koutarou-san (playing Hikaru) Kyuso Nekogami (OP theme)

Please definitely watch Pekorinko

Today's starting line up And Today's Hokkaido sky blue jerseys And LOVE <3 Nakata Shou

I got texts from my older sister in Sapporo (t/n: not her real older sister, just a friend)

Shou-kun hit a homerun ♪ This is a picture of Shou-kun rounding the bases right after hitting the homerun. It's a photo from a little bit away from the big screen, so it's small.

Thank you <3 Onee-chan <3 <3 (t/n: a way to refer to your older sister, or a friend who is older than you)

Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters They wore the new Hokkaido sky blue jerseys for the first time, and will continue to through this season. Maria <3 LOVE Fighters

I hope there’s lots of fun and happiness tomorrow too

* Makino Maria *

#makino maria #morning musume #morning musume 18 #hello project #blog post translation #blog april 2018

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architectnews · 3 years

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This Is Schönau! Mannheim

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Buildings, Germany Architecture Competition Images

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Design

25 Nov 2020

This Is Schönau! Mannheim Urban redevelopment

Design: BOARD, Rotterdam, NL

Location: Schönau, north of Mannheim, Germany

This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal

BOARD takes diversity and communal living to the next level.

The Rotterdam-based architecture office BOARD – known for producing and publishing MONU Magazine on Urbanism – takes diversity and communal living to the next level with their urban design project “This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal” that reached the final phase in a competition for a new neighborhood in Schönau, a district in the north of Mannheim, Germany.

1: View of the new quarter from a north-westerly direction with the redesigned tram loop in the background

2: Site

6 Blocks and 3 Open Spaces

To create a new connecting center with a social cohesion in Schönau, we propose to network this new center as far as possible with the surrounding streets and paths. This creates 6 city blocks and 3 open space zones. With open but space-encompassing u-shaped buildings, a clearly structured urban area is created. The different depths, heights and typologies of the buildings will enable diverse living spaces for different target groups.

3: 6 Blocks and 3 Open Spaces

4: The new quarter

5: View from the southwest with the block with the bee garden in the foreground

The Block

A semi-public footpath runs through 5 of the 6 blocks connecting the semi-public green inner courtyards and the new quarter with its context while opening up the blocks even further. Nevertheless, the open u-shaped blocks create intimate spaces and a sense of security that the existing row buildings did not provide. On the edge of the blocks are private gardens for the ground floor apartments. All apartments are accessed from the outside of the block.

Schönau Square, Tram Forum and Community Park

The redesigned loop of the tram with 3 different multifunctional open spaces will contribute to a positive and secure identity of the new center. In the center the “Schönau Square” is being built with trees, benches and a sports field; in the south the “Tram Forum” with a new tram stop, a temporary market and a stage in front of the youth center; and in the north, the “Community Park” with opportunities for urban agriculture and the “Schönen Au”, a body of water that stores rainwater.

6: The Block

7: Schönau Square, Tram Forum and Community Park

8: A clear but Varied Urban Structure

A Clear but Varied Urban Structure

The 6 city blocks create a clear but varied 1- to 5-storey building structure, which relates to the building heights of the surrounding area, but whose density remains flexible. The grocery store and the commercial uses will be located on the ground floors of the eastern blocks. Commercial uses would also be possible in small form within the quarter. Common areas for the quarter are proposed for some of the taller buildings.

9: 4 Building Typologies in Each Block

4 Building Typologies in Each Block

In order to provide living spaces for different income groups, age groups and household sizes, 4 different building typologies are created in each block, which differ from one another in terms of the access (through which the residents can access the green inner courtyards), building depth, building height and orientation. So “garden living” is being created on the ground floors and “gallery living”, “city living” and “district living” on the upper floors.

10: Sections

11: 5 Green Courtyards and 1 Roof Garden

5 Green Courtyards and 1 Roof Garden

The 5 green inner courtyards with their different themes and plantings – inspired by the interests and geography of Schönau – will motivate the residents to appropriate the spaces contributing to a feeling of belonging and community. The existing playground becomes one of the courtyards. There is a “flower garden”, “tree garden”, “learning garden” and a “bee garden”. Additionally there is a “roof garden” on the grocery store and all existing trees that have been preserved receive signs with information.

THIS IS SCHÖNAU – Building Information

Title: This Is Schönau! Diverse, Connected and Communal Project: Urban redevelopment Date: September 2020 Type: Limited 1-phase realization competition Organizer: City of Mannheim, Germany Participants: Final round: 14 Location: Mannheim, Germany Site: Schönau, a district in the north of Mannheim

Programme: Residential development with a public space around a tram stop Surface: 4.6ha Status: Competition Awards: Finalist Team: Bernd Upmeyer, Chiara De Mattia, Maria Heinrich

BOARD

BOARD Office Profile:

BOARD (Bureau of Architecture, Research, and Design) was founded in 2005 and is active in many fields: as an architecture, urban design, and design practice, as a research board and as a platform for comparative analysis on urban issues through its bi-annual journal MONU – Magazine on Urbanism. BOARD won several prizes recently in prestigious international architecture and urban design competitions. Among others: The House of Arts and Culture in Beirut, Lebanon; The Estonian Academy of Arts in Tallinn, Estonia; and The New Headquarter for Wexford County Council in Ireland.

In 2006 BOARD collaborated with STAR – strategies + architecture and the Office for Metropolitan Architecture (OMA) to update the study “The Image of Europe” that was exhibited in April 2006 in the centre of Vienna, Austria during Austria’s presidency of the European Union.

Since 2012 BOARD is part of the group, led by STAR, that has been chosen as one of the new six teams of architects and urban planners appointed by the Atelier International Grand Paris (AIGP) to be part of the Scientific Committee for the mission: Grand Paris: pour une métropole durable. The work of BOARD has been exhibited all around the world and in places such as Moscow, Berlin or Paris.

Bernd Upmeyer is the founder of BOARD and editor in chief of MONU – Magazine on Urbanism. He studied architecture and urban design at the University of Kassel (Germany) and the Technical University of Delft (Netherlands).

From 2004 until 2007 he taught and did research as Assistant Professor at the department of Architecture, Urban Planning and Landscape Planning at the University of Kassel. In 2010 he taught as Adjunct Professor at the department of Urban Design at the HafenCity University Hamburg.

In 2012 he was a guest critic at the Berlage Institute‘s first-year postgraduate research studio “Anarcity”. In 2013 he lectured and participated in a discussion about architecture, urbanism and media at Strelka’s Urban Studies Session in Moscow.

Upmeyer frequently writes for international publications and magazines. He holds a PhD (Dr.-Ing.) in Urban Studies from the University of Kassel (Germany). Upmeyer is the author of the book Binational Urbanism – On the Road to Paradise. The book examines the way of life of people who start a second life in a second city in a second nation-state, without saying goodbye to their first city. Upmeyer coined the term “binational urbanism”.

BOARD employs an international team of architects and planners and collaborates with national and international external consultants and specialists.

This Is Schönau! images / information from Dutch architects BOARD, 251120

Drawings, text and images © BOARD, Rotterdam, The Netherlands

Location: Mannheim, Germany, western Europe

Mannheim Architecture

Mannheim Buildings

Architecture in Mannheim

MVRDV with Traumhaus redefine affordable suburban housing Design: MVRDV partnered with Traumhaus image © Made by Mistake Former US Army Barracks in Mannheim

Kunsthalle Mannheim – German Architecture Competition Architect: von Gerkan, Marg and Partners (gmp) image © gmp Kunsthalle Mannheim Architecture Competition

Ephemerality and Architecture MOINOPOLIS Mannheim

Architecture in Germany

German Architecture

German Architecture Designs – chronological list

German Architecture News

German Buildings

German Architect

Karlsruhe building designs on e-architect:

Karlsruhe Medical Centre Design: gmp – von Gerkan, Marg und Partner Karlsruhe Medical Centre

Constitutional Court, Karlsruhe Design: West 8 Constitutional Court Karlsruhe

Comments / photos for This Is Schönau! in Mannheim page welcome

Website: MVRDV

The post This Is Schönau! Mannheim appeared first on e-architect.

#e-architect

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covid19worldnews · 3 years

Text

Tennis

Tennis is a U.S. sports magazine devoted to the sport of tennis. The print magazine is published eight months per-year, while the magazine also operates a website, Tennis.com.

History

The magazine was established in May 1965, published out of Chicago with a regional focus.[2] The tennis boom of the 1970s resulted in a rapid expansion of the magazine, both in scope and circulation. In addition to top tennis stars, celebrities like Johnny Carson and Farrah Fawcett appeared on the cover.[2] It was owned by Golf Digest / Tennis Magazine and sold to the New York Times Company.

Miller Publishing bought the magazine in 1997 from The New York Times Company.[3] It brought on two retired champions as part owners and contributors: first Chris Evert in 2000 then Pete Sampras in 2003.[4] In the early 2010s the circulation was 600,000 subscriptions, the majority of which were purchased by the United States Tennis Association (USTA) for its members.[1][5]

In 2014, publisher and USTA board member Jeff Willams purchased controlling interest in Tennis Media Company, owner of the magazine and its offshoot website.[5] In 2017, Sinclair Broadcast Group, owner of Tennis Channel, acquired Tennis Media Company for $8 million, seeking to build synergies between the properties.[6]

Content

Aside from articles about the most recent events and most active players, the magazine also includes the recent ranking for both ATP and WTA, as well as brief summaries of the future tournaments, their participants and the past winners.

Chris Evert has her own personal section in the magazine—usually the first page—which is called “Chrissie’s Page”. Aside from Evert, other famous players and coaches also contribute to the magazine, Pete Sampras, Paul Annacone, former coach of Sampras, is the Senior Instruction Editor and Brad Gilbert, former coach of Andre Agassi and Andy Roddick, is Touring Instruction Editor.

“The 40 Greatest Players of the Tennis Era” (2005)

In celebration of its 40th anniversary (1965–2005), Tennis published a series rating the 40 best players of those four decades.[7][8]

Pete Sampras

Martina Navratilova

Steffi Graf

Chris Evert

Björn Borg

Margaret Court

Jimmy Connors

Rod Laver

Billie Jean King

Ivan Lendl

John McEnroe

Andre Agassi

Monica Seles

Stefan Edberg

Mats Wilander

John Newcombe

Serena Williams

Boris Becker

Roger Federer

Ken Rosewall

Roy Emerson

Martina Hingis

Evonne Goolagong

Guillermo Vilas

Venus Williams

Jim Courier

Arantxa Sánchez Vicario

Ilie Năstase

Lindsay Davenport

Arthur Ashe

Justine Henin

Tracy Austin

Hana Mandlíková

Lleyton Hewitt

Stan Smith

Jennifer Capriati

Gustavo Kuerten

Virginia Wade

Patrick Rafter

Gabriela Sabatini

“The 50 Greatest Players of the Open Era” (2018)

In celebration of the 50th anniversary of the Open Era in tennis (1968–2018), the magazine published a series rating the 50 best players of those five decades (25 men and 25 women).[9]

Active players are marked in boldface.

Men

1. Roger Federer

2. Rod Laver

3. Rafael Nadal

4. Pete Sampras

5. Novak Djokovic

6. Björn Borg

7. Ken Rosewall

8. Ivan Lendl

9. John McEnroe

10. Jimmy Connors

11. Andre Agassi

12. Mats Wilander

13. Boris Becker

14. Stefan Edberg

15. John Newcombe

16. Guillermo Vilas

17. Jim Courier

18. Andy Murray

19. Ilie Năstase

20. Arthur Ashe

21. Gustavo Kuerten

22. Lleyton Hewitt

23. Stan Smith

24. Stan Wawrinka

25. Andy Roddick

Women

1. Serena Williams

2. Steffi Graf

3. Martina Navratilova

4. Margaret Court

5. Chris Evert

6. Billie Jean King

7. Monica Seles

8. Venus Williams

9. Justine Henin

10. Evonne Goolagong

11. Martina Hingis

12. Maria Sharapova

13. Arantxa Sánchez Vicario

14. Kim Clijsters

15. Lindsay Davenport

16. Virginia Wade

17. Jennifer Capriati

18. Tracy Austin

19. Hana Mandlíková

20. Gabriela Sabatini

21. Amélie Mauresmo

22. Victoria Azarenka

23. Angelique Kerber

24. Caroline Wozniacki

25. Na Li

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#tips #>25 #map #>More #restaurants #>What #stay #>BACK #ff865c;#><strong>Local #FFB53A;#texplorer #texas #marfa #marfatx #traveltexas #localadventurer #><strong>Pro

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collegeessayguy · 7 years

Photo

This post was inspired by a resource I first created for the NACAC Pasadena College Fair and then rewrote after an inspiring conversation with Maria Furtado, Executive Director of Colleges That Change Lives. To hear that podcast “Colleges That Change Lives: Great Schools You May Not (Yet!) Know About,” click here.

Let’s face it: college fairs can be really overwhelming. To give you a sense, here’s a photo I took of one:

You walk into this giant room lined with rows and rows of tables filled with college reps and nervous students lined up ready to ask their questions and your first reaction is like, “Whuuuuuut” and then (if you’re kind of an introvert, like me) you want to either run the other way or just go sit in the corner somewhere and text your friend, “Where u at?”

Here’s a secret: you’re not alone.

There are tons of students and adults and (let’s face it) even college reps who are overwhelmed by college fairs too.

But guess what? There’s a way to make your college fair efficient, productive and (get this) even fun.

How? Below are five ways.

And bee tea dubs, if you’re a counselor, teacher or parent who wants to print this out and give it out to your students, you can totally do that by clicking on the link below:

>> DOWNLOAD THE PDF <<

1. Decide on a goal for your college fair experience. Why are you going in the first place? Here are some reasons that students at the above college fair shared with me when I asked them why they were there:

“To like, find out about some schools.”

“To learn about, like, college…?”

“Because my counselor/parents are making me.” (Props for being honest, at least.)

Here are some better reasons to go to a college fair (that will actually help you get into college):

To make a meaningful connection with a rep from a college that a) you’re interested in and b) that tracks demonstrated interest.

To generate content for your “Why us” essay.

Lemme break those down for you right quick:

Demonstrated interest is a system some colleges use to track which students are super duper interested in their school (and therefore more likely to attend). Think of it as “scoring points” with a college. Some ways you can score demonstrated interest points include a) requesting information from the college, b) liking the school’s Facebook page, c) interviewing.

For more on “demonstrated interest,” check out

this blog post

called Demonstrated Interest: A Brief and Practical How-To Guide, or

this podcast episode

with Monica James. The “Why us” essay is a supplemental essay required by many schools that asks some version of, “Why would you like to attend our school?” Why am I telling you this? Because (write this down): You can ask the school rep some specific questions and, in effect, have that rep help you write your “Why us” essay. (I’ll explain how in a sec.) Plus, you can write in that essay, “When I spoke to [insert rep name] at [insert college fair] she shared that…” which could demonstrate even more interest. #DoubleBonus

How do you check the demonstrated interest box and generate great material for your “Why us?”

2. Prepare 3-5 interesting, specific questions for the college reps. Why do this? Because specific, interesting, questions will lead to more specific, interesting conversations, and the rep is more likely to remember you. Why is that potentially a good thing? In some cases, the rep you meet at the college fair may be the one who ends up reading your application. (Really? Yes.) Not all the time, but sometimes--and this is especially true for smaller schools.

What should you ask? Here are some quick DOs and DON’Ts:

DON’T

Don’t ask anything you can easily Google:

“What’s your student-to-faculty ratio?” “Is it cold there?” “Do you have Biology?”

Don’t ask general questions:

“What’s your school like?” “Is your [fill in the blank] program good?” (They’ll all say it’s great.)

Do ask specific questions that invite a personal response.

“What are the three coolest things about your school?” "Where do you like to eat on campus?"

Do ask specific questions relevant to your major:

“Do students have access to film equipment during their freshman year?” “How easy is it to take classes in the School of Journalism if I major in Physics?”

Stressed about the questions? Not sure what to ask? Then do this: Go up to the rep, smile, extend your hand, give a firm handshake and introduce yourself. Then ask that exhausted rep how they’re doing. (Really? Yeah.) Just connect on a human level. Be present, then just see where the conversation takes you. Monica James (of the podcast I mentioned above) advises students to treat these interactions like a mini interview, saying “more than anything, it’s about your Presence.” So just do all the things your mama taught you, and see what happens.

Want to know another way to avoid being overwhelmed?

3. Spend an hour putting together a preliminary college list before you go. How? Use this resource: How to Create a Great College List.

Then:

4. Pick 3-5 schools from your preliminary list that you really want to talk to. Why 3-5 reps? Because depth is better than breadth. I’d say it’s better to have 10-minute conversations with 3-5 reps than 1-2 minute conversations with 25 reps.

Also: you’re more likely to hit that goal. Once you do, if you feel like it, talk to a few more—BY THAT POINT YOU’RE IN BONUS TERRITORY.

5. Talk to a rep from a school you’ve never heard of, especially one who has no one in front of them. Why? Those reps are more likely to be the actual person reading your application.

In fact, at a recent college fair I went up to five reps who had no one standing in front of them and I asked all five, “Do you track demonstrated interest?” All five said yes. Then I asked, “What are the odds that you’ll be the application reader for a student that you meet here today. Four out of five said yes and the fifth one happened to be a Dean of Admissions for her school, filling in for a rep on maternity leave—BUT HEY, SHE WAS THE DEAN.

Why are these small schools at these fairs? Chances are they are recruiting in your area. In other words, many smaller schools are often “under-represented” from certain parts of the country (yours?), so they’re at the college fair trying to get more students to apply. What does it mean if they don’t have many students from your area? Because schools value diversity (and because there is such a thing as “geographical diversity”) you may be just the kind of diversity they’re looking for… this sometimes means your application may be seen more favorably AND you might even get a little scholarship money. So go talk to these folks!

So let’s re-cap:

To “demonstrate interest” in a college

Generate one gem for your “Why us” essay

Prep 3-5 great questions (or just smile and make a personal connection)

Pick 3-5 schools (not 8-10) to talk to

Talk to at least one rep from a school you’ve never heard of

Sound do-able?

Totally do-able.

Now go do it?

Still not convinced this is worth your time? Wondering how to develop a meaningful/authentic relationship with a rep? Click here to find out how.

#college fair #campus visit #demonstrated interest #college #applying to college

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abigail-mcnatt-photography · 7 years

Text

Been awhile since I was able to shoot a show. This time, I got to shoot my first show for Pittsburgh Music Magazine and it was such a cool opportunity. 2 years ago I would never have imagined I’d be here; same venue, same band, but feet from them shooting their show. All Time Low has been one of my all-time (lawlz) favorite bands for several years now so this opportunity was incredible. This post is not going to go in depth, as the bulk of my show review is available in Pittsburgh Music Magazine (read here) Now, without further ado, here is my overview of the show.

The Young Renegades Tour began mid-June and made its stop in Pittsburgh on July 25th to further promote All Time Low’s newest album Last Young Renegade (which is awesome by the way). Accompanying them on the tour were 3 semi-popular bands from all over the country; The Wrecks, Waterparks, and SWMRS.

First up was indie-rock band, The Wrecks. Their set had fans’, already high level of adrenaline, through the roof. Many fans located in the front rows, were screaming each and every lyric with their wide eyes fixated on the band members. Overall, they had a pretty fun, upbeat set.

The next band to come out on stage was Waterparks, a name I was previously familiar with, being so ingrained into the world of smaller bands. Pop-punk in sound, they worked the stage very well and connected with the crowd extremely well. Guitarist, Geoff Wigington, even went on the big side speakers, playing closer to the fans. They were such a fan favorite and had a great set overall.

Lastly, before the main event of course, was pop-punk band, SWMRS. They had quite an interesting set… lol. Lead singer, Cole Becker, came out wearing a polka dot dress, so it was weird from the get-go. BUT it was awesome for my photos because it created some crazy cool shots. Jack Barakat, of ATL, amped up the crowd more for their set by accompanying SWMRS for their first song. Despite putting on a weird set, they were awesome and very much so enjoyable.

And now here we are; the part of my post where I talk about the real reason I was shooting this show… All Time Low. As previously mentioned, 2 years ago, I attended their Future Hearts Tour stop in Pittsburgh and remember thinking about how cool it would be to truly take pictures of them, not with just with my little Lumix digital camera, lol. Little did I know I’d be here telling the world how awesome of an experience that was. As the lights went low and the background music blared, fans went wild awaiting the first glimpse of the Baltimore natives. I even found my own heart skip a beat seeing their bodies show up in their rightful positions on stage. The lights came on and I swear the ground shook from the bursts of excitement. They began the show, strong, with “Last Young Renegade”, my favorite song off of the new album. The fans, including myself, screamed every word. A couple songs later and after Jack threw some salt at the Pittsburgh Steelers, they played a couple oldies and some more recently released songs, before pulling the heart strings of the entire crowd. Playing “Missing You”, a song about fighting depression and anxiety, struck tears from most of the eyes glued to the stage. They then lightened the mood with a couple upbeat tunes before making the crowd emotional again. All band members left the stage, leaving Alex Gaskarth accompanied by his guitar. He serenaded the crowd with “Therapy”, another tune about depression and the constant battle that is life. Guarantee that there was plenty of ugly crying, seeing as though it’s a song that more than likely got a lot of people there through a lot of shit in their lives. Following this, they played a couple more upbeat songs, old and new, before bringing about 15-20 fans on stage during “Time-Bomb”. Fans sang along with their favorite band on stage and pumped up the crowd. What a cool opportunity and certainly a dream come true. They continued with “Good Times” before ‘ending’ the show. As if it wasn’t expected, after fans screamed their name, they came back on stage to do 3 more songs. They ended the night with the ever so popular, “Dear Maria Count Me In”, which if you don’t know it, you live under a rock. My boyfriend was even picking me up from the show and texted the lyrics to me in all caps, lol.

What an absolutely unforgettable night. You can read my full review in Pittsburgh Music Magazine (here)! As always, my favorites from each band, are showcased at the bottom of this post and the rest can be seen here!

Let me know what you all think of the photos/review, my article in PMM, or even All Time Low and their new album! Feel free to share this on all social medias too.

The Wrecks

Waterparks

The Wrecks

Waterparks

The Wrecks

Waterparks

SWMRS

Waterparks

Jack (ATL) playing w/ SWMRS

SWMRS

Waterparks

SWMRS

Waterparks

SWMRS

Waterparks

SWMRS

All Time Low

Waterparks

All Time Low

SWMRS

All Time Low

Jack (ATL) playing w/ SWMRS

All Time Low

SWMRS

All Time Low

All Time LowAll Time Low

All Time Low

All Time Low – Young Renegades Tour 2017 Been awhile since I was able to shoot a show. This time, I got to shoot my first show for…

#all time low #band #blog #concert #guitar #live #music #photographs #photography #photos #pictures #pittsburgh #pop #punk #rock #stage ae #swmrs #the wrecks #waterparks

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weneverfreeze · 7 years

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Sydney. My dear. I will love you forever if you write samnat for one of those au prompts you just reblogged (im feeling 1, 6, or 7 for them, but really any prompt is fine 😄😄)

Okay sorry this is late Mercedes! This didn’t get a reread, just so you know, and I started writing the ending at around 1 AM and it’s 4:30 (lolol it’s 4:47 now) in the morning right now, so yeah:

1. I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU

6. We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU

7. I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU

WC: 5747

There are two gyms on campus. Two gyms for nearly 40,000 people, so it stands to reason that you’d run into people very rarely. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours give or take each day when they’re open, four floors of exercise equipment and courts and weights and two pools per gym. This isn’t even factoring in her work schedule or classes, but somehow Natasha’s managed to run into this asshole every single time she goes to the gym. Out of both gyms and all the rooms and all the possible exercise routines. Every single time.

The first time she thought maybe it was just coincidence. It happens now and then of course, that someone comes in and has a similar routine to the one she’s perfected over the last six years. Last time it was Clint though, and that was first semester sophomore year, and that was only because Nat asked him. He’d complained the entire time about how hockey’s enough exercise for the both of them, and Nat I’m going to mess up my legs or my arms or my nose, okay, you remember how I got a concussion swimming. Clint came with maybe four times before deciding to do yoga by himself.

Since then Natasha had been alone in her workout routine. Thirty minutes on the bike, thirty doing weights, and thirty on the thigh machine downstairs on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Saturday’s for lazy laps in the pool when she isn’t making burritos at Chipotle. Her routine is simple and easy. In and out within 90 minutes.

But this asshole. Showing up all cocky and self-important. He’s been mirroring her pretty consistently the last month or so. At first it wasn’t that noticeable—he’s cute, maybe, in that sweaty sort of athletic way that she won’t pretend not to like, but she’s dated girls and guys like that before, so—just another body on the bikes a little down the row, or another person curling dumbbells, or another guy waiting for a weight machine.

Then it started being a thing. Nat had glanced over week 1.5 of this whatever-it-is at the same time he had, and they shared a nod and went back to biking. He seemed like an asshole even then. It was something, she figured, to do with how he wore cologne even when working out.

Then, week 2, it had been a very full Wednesday, and the only bikes were right next to each other. He was definitely looking at the display on her machine and she’d never tell Clint or Maria that that was the reason she was walking a little stiffly for three days afterward, because she definitely hadn’t been going a little faster than she should have been and checking his display as well.

Weeks 3 and 4 had been more of the same, except at week 3.5 she’d realized what exactly is so asshole-y about him: he doesn’t sweat, and he bikes further and can lift more than she can. (She’s better overall on the thigh machine, thank you, hockey.) Natasha would be over here straining to go up one last hill while he’d be pedalling easy as anything, scrolling through some article on his phone.

Natasha had been hoping when she walked in today that he wouldn’t be here, but no such luck, and he’d taken the machine she favors. She glances to her left; he catches her look, and raises his water bottle in an obnoxious salute. Inwardly she flips him off.

Only five minutes in. She readjusts her headphones. Five minutes in. She can do this.

The men’s and women’s locker rooms share a wall. Through numerous, painful post-workout showers, Natasha’s determined that unfortunately the wall must be dividing the shower sections of both locker rooms; someone’s been having a field day singing show tunes and pop music and rapping while she’s in the shower.

The variety, she thinks as hangs up her towel, is pretty impressive. Today the singer’s belting out Best of Both Worlds from Hannah Montana.

It’s not unpleasant today, which is surprising. The singer’s voice goes oddly well with the theme song.

The singer switches to Circle of Life. She joins in and they sing together until the water goes cold.

(It goes cold after six minutes.)

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Takeout?

Me: You’re buying

Clintyyy: Hey now, no

Clintyyy: It’s your turn

Me: Don’t make me bring up Budapest again

Me: You owe me

Clintyyy: ….fine

Me: Good

Clintyyy: Preference?

Me: Anything but tacos

Me: Chipotle has me sick of tacos

Me: You’ve never known true taco hatred until even just the smell makes you want to throw ingredients everywhere

Clintyyy: Please tell me you did not do that

Me: (read at 7:39)

Clintyyy: Tasha?

Me: (read at 7:43)

Clintyyy: We gotta pay rent still you’ve got a job right

Me: Of course I do

Clintyyy: Don’t do that to me

Clint’s got fried rice, lo mein, and crab rangoon waiting on TV trays in the living room when she shoulders through the doorway. Or, limps through; she’d done too much on the thigh machine again today, which she’s pretty sure Asshole Guy had noticed. Light from NCIS flickers over his face as he raises an eyebrow. A noodle is hanging out of his mouth.

“Don’t tell Steve,” she says. She plunks down next to him on the couch, pokes his thigh until he gives her more room.

He says, “That’d be embarrassing for you,” and she glares until he raises his hands in surrender. “I won’t, fine; just don’t kill me, okay?”

“Who am I gonna get to rent with me next year if I didn’t have you?” She opens the fried rice and quirks a smile and he bumps his shoulder against hers.

They’ve rented together for two years now after Natasha’s freshman year roommate gave her a photo album of her sleeping at the end of the first semester. She’d spent the majority of spring semester staying over at Clint’s room, which worked out nicely because Clint’s roommate Steve’s just about the nicest most stubborn guy she’s ever met, and he’d only asked them once if they were dating (they weren’t). Most other people have a look that says I don’t believe you when they say they’ve been friends as long as they’ve known each other, but Steve had just nodded and gone back to sketching his calculator.

“We should live with Steve next year,” she says, thinking; it’s October now, if they get a move on they should be able to get a nice place. She steals a bite of noodle from Clint’s container.

Clint pulls a face, but he holds the container closer to her. Nat offers the fried rice in return. “Nah, I’m good.”

She smiles. “To the rice or to Steve?”

He pretends to think about it, stroking an imaginary beard, and she leans into his side and waits. Onscreen Gibbs slaps Tony upside the head again.

“Both,” Clint says. She makes a face. “Kidding. Steve’s rooming with someone next year, they’ve really hit it off, so.” He tilts his head to the side like he’s deliberating and adds, “Or not kidding really, because that kid wheezes so much when he tries to sleep. Snores like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I was there, remember?” she says with a smile, checking the crab rangoon. “Do you want the last one or shall I?”

Clint waves it toward her and says, “What song today?”

She’s been keeping him updated on the gym since he refuses to go. He knows all about The Asshole and The Song Guy. He’s convinced that there’s a love story in the making between the three of them, but since she threatened him (half-jokingly) with a spatula, he’s been keeping that to himself.

“Circle of Life.”

Clint nods and shrugs appreciatively. “Good choice.”

She says, yawning, “Better than the week of Thrift Shop.”

“You love Thrift Shop.”

He starts playing with her hair and it’s so soothing she almost drifts off.

“I do,” she murmurs, yawning again—it feels really very nice—and curling closer. Clint unfolds the blanket along the top of the couch and pulls it over them. “That’s why it was so bad. He didn’t know all the words.”

Clint says something like “Neither do you” but she’s just about asleep now and doesn’t really hear him. Or at least, that’s what she’ll say if he mentions it in the morning.

New Text Message

1-347-867-5309: Hey Nat! Do you wanna study together Saturday?

Me: Who is this

1-347-867-5309: Steve

Me: Ohh right right

1-347-867-5309: You didn’t know it was me did you

Me: Of course I did

Me: I know everything

Steve: Sure

Steve: You’d think that

Steve: Since, y’know, we’re friends and all

Steve: You’d save my phone number

Me: Don’t be offended

Me: I’ve been friends with Clint for fifteen years and I only saved his number since coming to college

Steve: I guess that helps

Steve: Maybe

Steve: Not really. Anyway: study with me?

Me: Worried for the test?

Steve: A little

Me: Me too

Me: Where/what time?

Steve: My apartment? I’m off work at three, so four?

Me: Sounds good

Steve: See ya then

Asshole Guy isn’t there today. Today she’s got her machine again and the world is at peace once more.

To be fair, it’s Tuesday. She never knew for sure, but she strongly suspects Asshole Guy only works out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, like her. But this week Fury has her working the night shift on the line, so Friday’s workout’s cancelled.

She probably shouldn’t be in today. Her inner thigh is still sore. Steve would kill her if he knew she was straining it—he’s a history and art double major, but, since his dad’s a trainer, he knows a fair amount of things. Including the fact that pushing a hurt muscle is a terrible idea.

Natasha knows that too, though, and it’s starting to hurt more than it had, so she sighs and lets the weights down gently.

“You alright?”

She whips around, ready with a snappy retort for another dude bro trying to tell her how to do her workout. It dies in her throat. Two gyms, 40,000 people, seven days in a week, fourteen hours, an entirely different day, no less, and yet.

It doesn’t help that The Asshole has nice eyes this close. He clears his throat, and that’s when she realizes he’s wearing the khaki pants, blue shirt, and red backpack of a student trainer. He says, “It’s Tuesday. You don’t usually—I mean, this isn’t your max weight, and you usually lift longer than this.”

He’s been watching. Nat raises an eyebrow. “Observant.”

“Part of the job,” he says. His cologne is sharply out of place with all the sweat in the air.

“You work here.” She regrets it the moment she says it; his eyebrows shoot straight up, then settle again. Of course he works here. No one wears khakis to a gym.

Instead of answering he plucks at the hem of his shirt and moves on. “Are you okay? I have to ask when someone lets the weights down like that.”

“Didn’t realize they were that loud,” she says, to have something to say. “I’m fine. Little sore from yesterday.”

The Asshole sets his backpack down and kneels to sort through it, all the while asking about her hydration and whether or not she’s eaten and you know, you’ve gotta rest between these kinds of things, you can’t do the same exercises back to back and expect to be totally fine.

This rubs her wrong. “My work schedule’s different this week,” she snaps. “I’m not an idiot.”

“Sorry,” he says mildly. He hops back to his feet holding a blue crinkly something. Natasha glares up at him and he holds his hands up before saying, “I know you’re not an idiot, just needed to say that. Job description and all that.”

She’s got her arms folded, so when he tosses the crinkly something at her she’s completely unprepared. It bounces off her elbow before she catches it, somehow, on the rebound. It’s a Nutrigrain bar. She stares at him.

The Asshole rubs the back of his neck and says, “It’s blueberry, not too bad if you—I dunno, if you eat that sort of thing.”

“Thanks…?”

“Sam,” he says, starting to walk away.

She says “Natasha” and Sam smiles and walks out of the weight room.

There is a profound silence from the men’s locker room. Today the water stays warm for exactly eight minutes before threatening to crystalize on her skin.

When she’s dry, she squeezes her hair with the towel and dresses. The Nutrigrain wrapper’s in her pocket when Nat pulls on her jeans. She’s not sure, really, why she’s still holding onto it.

New Text Message

Steve: Hey were you working out today? At the Heli?

Me: Yeah, why?

Steve: No reason

Steve: (Steve sent an emoji)

Me: The halo’s not reassuring Rogers

Steve:

Early Wednesday morning she wakes up in Clint’s arms while Tangled plays for the third or fiftieth time. Squinting, she looks up to see that Clint’s awake and bedheaded as ever; she’s still not sure if he styles his hair like that intentionally or if, thanks to the innumerable naps he takes, that’s just the way his hair grows.

She pulls the blanket over her more and Clint starts. “Sorry,” he whispers, grabbing for the remote. He mutes the TV (Rapunzel and Flynn are just about to be trapped in the mine) and Nat closes her eyes again.

“S’okay,” she says sleepily. “How long’ve you been awake?”

“Somewhere around Flynn finding the tower.” He stretches carefully, rests his arm around her again. “You were saying something about Sam? In your sleep.”

“Mmm. No.”

“I think so. Fell asleep with my hearing aids in, so.”

“Your hair’s stupid” is all she says. He lightly pulls on one of her curls, and they drift off again.

Steve has to poke her six times to stay awake in lecture around noon. She’s lucky to have him there; Clint would’ve let her sleep and drawn mustaches on her with Sharpie. It’s especially important to be awake today because they’re reviewing for the exam, and she’s got a 93% right now and this test could solidify or jeopardize that A.

That doesn’t mean she’s not leaning on Steve right now. She’s lucky she’s on her left because she’s right handed, and even though he is as well he’s not the type to complain when he’s helping someone. Plus his right arm is ever-so-slightly more muscular than his left, so it’s somewhat more comfortable to lean against.

He’s really bulked up in the last two years; freshman year Nat used to be able to fit his wrist between her forefinger and thumb. Not so much now. He has a Russian pen pal according to Clint—kept in touch since they were five apparently—and they’ve been FaceTiming and working out together. She and Clint aren’t really sure what exercises they’ve been doing—or how you can work out with someone over FaceTime—but it’s working for Steve at least; they’ve doubled their efforts to get him on their hockey team.

Steve pokes her again as Professor Stark rambles on about medical experimentation during World War II.

“I’m awake,” she says. Their redheaded neighbor, Pepper, hushes them, and Nat sticks her tongue out at her. Quieter: “I’m awake.”

“I know,” Steve says, “you snore.”

“Hey!”

“Shh!”

Steve holds up a hand to stop either of them from saying anything. He whispers, “Did you meet Sam? At the Heli?”

Natasha stares at him. “How’d you know that?” Their prof changes the slide and she hurriedly copies down the information.

“He told me,” Steve says. “Ran into a redhead on the weights, said it wasn’t abnormal but for the fact that you don’t work out Tuesdays.”

“I don’t, it’s be—”

“Because of work, yeah.”

Nat worries her bottom lip. “You know him.”

“From high school,” Steve says. He nudges her and winks when she glances up. “He’s a good guy.”

She elbows him back, but she’s blushing a little. “You can’t be too sure. He wears cologne to the gym.”

Steve throws his head back and laughs so loudly that Stark stumbles over his lecture and stares, aghast.

“Excuse me, in the back; do you find this subject funny?”

Steve’s really doing an admirable job of biting back his laugh, she can almost see it straining to chime out. He hangs his head in the model of a subdued and solemn student. “Of course not, Professor.”

Stark narrows his eyes and resumes his lecture, casting dark looks at them from time to time. Steve whispers, “Cologne? Really?” and Natasha barely stops herself from laughing too.

Clint leans in her doorway while she ties her sneakers. “C’mon, Tasha.”

“I go to the gym on Wednesdays,” she says, sighing a little when she stands; her inner thigh muscles still hurt from yesterday.

What Natasha means is, Sam goes to the gym on Wednesday. She’s been thinking about him almost all day. She got on the wrong bus this morning because she was trying to remember the shade of his eyes. She’s even—it hurts to admit this, even to herself—she’s even bought him a blueberry Nutrigrain bar.

Clint knows her well enough and is, in general, smart enough to hear what she isn’t saying. “I get that, believe me I do, but. You’ve gotta rest up. You can go back to kicking butt and showing off next week if you want, or Saturday, but you’ve gotta rest.”

If she had enough momentum, she’d be ducking under his arm and in the hallway and on her way. Clint catches her stare and shifts into a more solid stance, the one that makes him look intimidating in his hockey gear but right now makes him look bedheaded and earnest and like her best friend.

Nat says, “I don’t really wanna go, but I do,” and Clint smiles with half of his mouth.

He looks up and runs a hand along the doorframe like it’s the most fascinating thing, still smiling like it’s just for her. “Wanna get out?”

“Where?”

“Dunno,” he says, and shrugs.

Their university does movies for free at the Union, so that’s where they go. Every Wednesday through Saturday at 9 PM whoever’s in charge of the videos cycles through blockbusters that came out earlier in the year, usually on a few month’s delay. It’s always very energetic; the room seats 150 people, give or take, and that many college kids in a room tend to laugh and talk to the screen now and then in very audible whispers.

It’s Moana tonight. Natasha buys the popcorn and Clint does the butter and salt in an easy routine that they’ve established over the last decade and a half, one born from Natasha having a job and but sense of what to do with butter and Clint not having a job but the amazing ability, somehow, to properly flavor even the vaguely cardboard-y popcorn served outside the theatre.

She’s checking his work—flawless, as always; he can’t seem to miss the mark—when he says, “Oh, hey Steve.”

Clint takes the popcorn back, which is good because she almost drops it. Steve smirks at her but she barely sees him; Sam’s leather jacket is filling up her field of view.

“Hey Clint, Nat,” Steve says. “Nat, I think you know Sam?” Nat glares at him and he shrugs in an I’m sorry kind of way, which would’ve been fine if his eyes weren’t plainly amused.

Sam says, “We’ve met. How’re your thighs?”

Clint makes a noise that sounds like he’s got popcorn stuck in his throat at that. “Her thighs?” Steve doubles over, laughing a little breathlessly.

“Fine,” Nat says, ignoring Clint and Steve, but it’s okay because she and Sam have both gone red now. “Just. Taking a day off. Rest day.”

“Good, good,” Sam says. He’s wearing what Natasha thinks is his my best friend is an idiot expression; she recognizes it because she makes the same face about Clint.

She looks at them—they’re not paying attention anymore, Clint’s showing Steve something on his phone—and then back at Sam and says, halfway between annoyed and flustered, “Wanna find a seat?”

And he says, “Absolutely,” and they sit next to each other and, in the dark, she imagines that this is, maybe, a date. A daydream ruined when Clint and Steve stumble over them to get to their own seats and spill Steve’s drink all over the floor, flooding over the tops of their shoes and making the floor obnoxiously sticky when they shift their feet.

New Text Message

Steve: yknow tht Sam liks you

Me: Are you drunk?

Steve: cant get drunk rmmber

Steve: scince

Me: That’s not how science works

Me: Are you okay? Do we need to come get you?

Steve: nahhhhh

Steve: mfine. got Sam

(Steve added Clintyyy to the chat.)

Steve: CLINT tell her

Clintyyy: What’s with the caps man?

Steve: phone bein weird

Steve: does that

Me: Are you sure you’re fine?

Steve: i am not Sam he’s in lov

Steve: *live

Steve: *lpbe

Clintyyy: We got you

Steve: you knoe what I mean

Me: He’s drunk

Steve: mnot

Me: Like Budapest all over again

Clintyyy: Ah the memories

Natasha has twelve missed calls from Steve when she wakes up. She checks through them, straining to separate the synth in the background from Steve’s slurred speech, and makes a mental note to make Steve the DD from now on. Boy can’t handle his alcohol very well.

She also has a series of quick texts from a number she doesn’t recognize, and she smiles when she sees them: Got him home safe, don’t worry. Got your number from his phone. Don’t forget to hydrate.

Clint walks with her to the bus stop, very blatantly reading over her shoulder. She lets him. “‘Don’t forget to hydrate’?” he says, one eyebrow raised.

Nat just shrugs and shows her ID to the busdriver. Clint follows behind her. He wants to ask something, she can tell, so she waits and leans the back of her head against the window. He pokes a hole in the knee of her jeans.

The bus slows to a stop by the main lawn five minutes later and they get up, sling backpacks over tired shoulders. Nat’s class is a little bit of a walk from the stop but Clint’s is in one of the old buildings ringing the lawn, so they hug and go on their way.

But he’s running after her a beat later, and he asks, winded (he should, she thinks, probably come with her to the gym), “You like him?”

“Maybe,” she tells him.

Clint studies her with the certainty and ease that comes from knowing someone for awhile. “You do,” he says, like he’s found something worth finding.

She says, “Yeah,” and they smile at each other.

New Text Message

Clintyyy: Still up for it?

Steve: Yessss

Me: Why not

Loud, overly flirtatious and forward drunk frat guys. That’s why not.

Thirsty Thursday is always a little over-the-top, but somehow, today, it’s one hundred percent worse; they’ve walked the entirety of College Ave. looking for a bar that wasn’t overflowing but still quality. There are approximately seven different bars within feasible walking distance—that is, within the distance that a still somewhat hungover Steve, an exercise-loath Clint, and a Natasha in relatively high heels would be willing to walk to. Seven bars for 40,000 students, maybe only half of whom can (legally) drink, maybe only half of that half who don’t have classes Fridays and would be out around this time. And, apparently, all of those students are tipsy frat guys.

They don’t say anything to her, per se, never do, but they’d said things to each other about her when she and Steve and Clint walk by, and once was enough for her to dislike them on principle.

The three of them had planned for eight. Eight was a dumb idea, evidently, because the bars they would have no trouble getting into Monday through Wednesday at eight o’clock are filled with lines a block long.

“Should we just call it?” Clint asks in frustration. They’re at the sixth bar on the list.

Nat shakes her head. “Let’s try the next one. We’re out, we’re cute, we may as well. And I really have to pee.”

“Well said,” Steve says.

The seventh bar is called The Triskelion for reasons Natasha hadn’t cared to ask about. The logo is the same curving lines as her boss’ tattoo, and Fury never struck her as the type of person to welcome questions about it, so she’d shelved her curiosity.

It’s a little, low lit dingy place with graffitied walls and peeling paint. But the bar is clean and so are the tables, and there aren’t as many frat guys here—there’s a few other people at the bar and one or two couples who seem to be on dates, but no Greek letters—, so Nat thinks it’s perfect.

“What can I get you all?” the bartender asks.

Natasha looks and Clint and says, “Surprise me,” and heads off to find the bathroom.

“I got you,” Clint calls. She raises a hand to say she heard.

It’s surprisingly clean, the bathroom. It’s unisex, so there are urinals and stalls, but there isn’t as much pee everywhere as she’d expected for Thirsty Thursday. She’s washing her hands when the door slams open.

“—right back,” someone says, talking to someone outside, and then: “Shit fuck.”

Nat glances to the door and immediately wishes she was back at the bar. “Hey, Sam.”

He smiles weakly, rubbing the back of his neck. “How you doing?”

“Fine. You alright?”

“You, uh. Heard that, then?” Sam says flatly. She nods, waits. He sighs. “It’s my date.”

Now she really wishes she was back at the bar. The sentence bounces around her head a moment before settling uncomfortably on her stomach.

She says, “Sorry,” and pinches off bits of her paper towel.

“Yeah. Don’t know what I was expecting, it’s just,” he says, and now he throws up his hands, “everything’s gone wrong, she told me that I was ‘just the sweetest thing’ and ‘so soft’ and that I remind her of her dead chocolate lab, and she didn’t answer if I asked if it was because I’m black. I mean, I was kidding, but not now, clearly.”

“She sounds interesting,” Nat says carefully. “I’m sorry.”

“‘Interesting’ is a little milder than I’m thinking,” he says. “It’s my fault really, it’s Tinder and I was gonna call it off, but she sounded so sad in the messages.”

“What’re you gonna do?”

Sam looks around the bathroom and says sheepishly, “I was going to pop open the window, actually. But there isn’t one. So.”

“I’m sorry,” Nat says. On an impulse she takes his hand and squeezes it. “You can do this. It only has to be a one-time thing.”

He squeezes her hand back. “I’ll try.”

New Text Message

Me: Abort

Nutrigrain Bar: What happened? Are you okay?

Me: Frat guy at the bar hitting on me

Me: buying me a drink npw

Me: Steve and Clint in bathroom

Nutrigrain Bar: One sec

“Hold on, I gotta tell Clint and Steve, they worry,” Nat says a little breathlessly, leaning against the brick wall of the library. Sam starts to back away but she catches his jacket sleeve as a sort of tether. She sends her text one-handed and pulls him closer, and the second kiss is as nice as the first, and the third is better.

New Text Message

Nutrigrain Bar: I had a very, very nice time last night

Me: Me too

Me: It’d be a shame if

Me: You know

Nutrigrain Bar: If it happened again?

Me: Exactly

Nutrigrain Bar: Well

Nutrigrain Bar: We’ve always got out standing date at the gym

Me: That’s a good start

Nutrigrain Bar: Well hopefully we’ll have a good middle too

New Text Message

Stevie: Told ya

Me: I know

Stevie: For the record

Me: I knowwww

Stevie: ;)

Me: Shut up

“Details,” Clint says, his arm a dead weight around her shoulder; they’re both still feeling last night.

The NCIS opening credits play, but they’ve got the sound off. This is one of Clint’s favorite things to do, sit around and read the lips of the actors on TV shows. Nat’s favorite part is when he gets bored of it and starts making up his own lines.

She tucks her knees close to her chest and leans closer to Clint. He mumbles Gibbs’ line, “Grab your gear,” and she says, “Doesn’t count.”

“Does so.”

“He says it,” and here she yawns, “every episode.”

Clint tugs on her sleeve. “It counts. It’s like the free space in Bingo.”

“Gonna pretend you didn’t say that, Barton.”

“Gonna pretend you aren’t dodging the question, Romanova.”

“You didn’t,” she says, yawning again, “ask me anything.”

“Don’t be a McGoofus, McGee” is what Clint says next. Then: “Fine. Details?”

Remembering it gives her goosebumps. She smiles. “About?”

Clint groans and buries his face in a cushion while she laughs harder than she would normally. His voice is muffled as he says, “The kiss, Tasha, the kissing, the Frenching, snogging, whatever.”

“You mean like, how was it?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“Tongue?”

“Maybe.”

New Text Message

Steviesteviestevie: Okay I’m presentable now

Steviesteviestevie: Are you almost here?

Me: Just got off the bus

Me: Be there in 5

Steve flings the door open wide and drapes himself against it, saying, “Welcome to my humble abode.”

He’s ridiculous. “You’re always so dramatic,” Nat says, laughing in spite of herself. She crosses the threshold and Steve closes the door behind her.

She’s never been in Steve’s apartment before. It’s about what she would’ve expected for a student on a college budget: small living room with a small TV and bookcase, small kitchen, small bathroom with a corner of the mirror missing. A hallway leads off the living room and has three doors, one being the bathroom, one Steve’s room, and then a closet, maybe.

He spread out cool ranch Doritos and Oreos and lemonade on the counter. After handing her a (paper) plate, Steve piles huge handfuls of the Doritos onto his own plate and sits.

The Doritos are now half empty. “You should’ve just taken the bag,” Nat comments. She deliberates for a second and then just takes the Oreo tray to the table.

“There’s time,” Steve says. “We’ve got a lot of studying to do.”

Nat plunks her notes and books onto the table. “That we do.”

Two hours later, Natasha hits the wall.

Thirty minutes after that, Clint texts her about an NHL game, so she commandeers Steve’s TV and watches that. Steve abandons his homework and joins her on the couch and they yell at a few missed calls, and she finally gets him to agree to join her and Clint’s team (thereby allowing her to win a twenty dollar bet).

Around nine, a Mythbusters marathon starts. Natasha and Steve have a competition to see who can stack and eat the most Oreo filling. Steve wins, but only because his mouth his bigger.

At ten Steve’s Russian pen pal FaceTimes him, and, after exchanging hellos in Russian, Steve introduces him to Nat. Steve’s pen pal has long hair and the unlikely name of ‘Bucky’ and is surprised when Natasha takes to him exclusively in Russian.

Sometime after that Natasha’s alone on the couch, and while the Mythbusters team blows stuff up onscreen, she falls asleep.

She hears it and holds a pillow over her head in sheer stubborn refusal to be awake. When she moves, her arm threatens to fall off; sleeping on the couch never really works out for her unless she sleeps on someone.

The lights are off in the apartment. Careful to keep her ears covered, she peeks at the TV and sees that someone turned it off. The singing’s coming from the kitchen, then. If she focuses extremely hard she can just make out the pitch on the voice, and from what she knows from several painful karaoke nights, Steve’s voice isn’t this nice to listen to. Even if it’s waking her up at—she checks the clock on the bookcase—four in the morning. She blearily considers the possibility that Steve’s being robbed.

Whoever’s singing (a musical burglar?) is getting into it. Their words filter through the pillow now: “Just remember, you’re the one thing I can’t get enough of”.

That’s it. She throws the pillow across the room and storms into the kitchen.

“What the hell are you—” That’s when she sees Sam.

He stops midword in surprise. “Nat?” he says, uncertain. “Why’re you here?”

She crosses her arms. “Why’re you here?”

“I asked first,” he says, yawning.

“Studying.”

He says, “Sleeping.”

This more than anything annoys her. “Trying to,” she says pointedly. “Was sleeping.”

It seems to take him a moment to put together what she’s saying. “Oh. Sorry.”

“Your turn.”

“I live here?” He raps his knuckles on the back of a chair.

She’s not awake enough for this. “Here?”

“Steve and I are roommates,” Sam says.

“I thought—” she yawns “—thought he lived alone.”

Sam says, in a tone too bright for this time of morning, “Nope.”

“Why Dirty Dancing in the kitchen? Can’t you practice in, I don’t know, the car? The shower?”

Sam looks at her oddly. “Yeah,” he says. “I do,” and this time it’s Nat who takes a moment to understand what he’s saying.

And then she puts it together. “The gym.”

He nods, smiling slightly. “Thought you knew.”

“No,” she says, rubbing her eyes. It’s too early for this.

“Shame.” He looks very determinedly at the ceiling. “I was trying to woo you.”

She laughs. “Through the shower.”

“Wasn’t sure what else to do,” Sam says, shrugging. But he’s smiling, and she thinks that maybe she’s found something worth finding.

“You’re an idiot,” Nat says.

He says, hopeful, “That mean it worked?”

“Maybe,” she says.

New Text Message

Me: Made it back fine, thanks for asking

Nutrigrain Bar: Good :)

Me: And it worked

Me: How’s Wednesday?

#thanks for the ask Mercedes :) I hope it's okay #samnat #samnat fanfiction #sam x natasha #natasha x sam #otp: on love's light wings #asks #i need to go to bed #long post #I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSPELLED CLINT'S NAME #I AM DISTRAUGHT #clint barton #steve rogers

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nofomoartworld · 7 years

Text

Hyperallergic: The Biodiversity of the World Captured in Five Centuries of Animal Art

“Bengal tiger,” watercolor by a Calcutta artist (1820) (Hastings Albums, courtesy British Library)

A Bengal tiger does not travel well, and especially didn’t in the centuries before sedation and airplanes. But 19th-century scientists in England could study its stripes from afar thanks to the international trade of art, long a vital medium for scientific understanding. The Paper Zoo: 500 Years of Animals in Art by science historian Charlotte Sleigh, out March 8 from the University of Chicago Press, is a lushly illustrated publication with 250 images from the British Library chronicling how scientific art has expressed biodiversity over the centuries.

Cover of The Paper Zoo (courtesy University of Chicago Press)

It has not always been kind. Sleigh notes that the original text for an illustration of a horned frog in George Shaw’s The Naturalist’s Miscellany (1789–1813) read: “Should inquiry be made, which is the ugliest animal yet known to exist? The creature here represented might perhaps with justice be proposed as an answer: an animal of such prodigious deformity as even to exceed in this respect the Surinam toad, or Rana Pipa.”

Sleigh divides her book into four sections: exotic, native, domestic, and paradoxical. That last is particularly colorful, filled with anecdotes about completely imaginary creatures that were assembled due to mangled word-of-mouth descriptions, and sometimes supported by enterprising individuals. “Cashing in on the craze for natural-historical collections in the early modern period, canny sailors and inhabitants of far-flung lands stitched together body parts to make salable, ‘real’ monsters,” Sleigh writes. Along with unicorns and mermaids, there is the more fantastic and terrifying “manticore” in Edward Topsell’s 1658 The History of Four-footed Beasts and Serpents. The lion-like animal has the face of a man, with three rows of grinning teeth.

Sleigh explains that “animals began to appear in medieval works of art,” often as biblical Lambs of God or one of the symbols of the evangelists (an ox, lion, or eagle). As printing developed and became widespread, animals of varying accuracy flourished in books, whether in the form of early woodcuts or later engravings. A well-depicted exotic animal was the intellectual’s prize.

Pages from The Paper Zoo (photo by the author for Hyperallergic)

“Dürer mostly produced his animal images in watercolour, and such objects, like the pictures in the collection of the Lincei, were valuable items for exchange between wealthy savants around Europe,” Sleigh writes. “In Restoration London, a painting of a lizard on vellum could command higher prices than portraits in oil executed by even the most fashionable painters.”

Naturally, there were the overachievers, including John James Audubon, who put a vibrant, life-size aviary on paper with his 19th-century Birds of America. The Paper Zoo also has glimpses of incredible naturalist voyages like those of Maria Sibylla Merian, who in 1699 set out for South America to illustrate its insects, and Ernest Haeckel, who in the 19th century created detailed drawings of microscopic animals. They had a major influence on the fluid shapes of Art Nouveau.

High-speed and high-definition photography eventually took over as a way of visually capturing wildlife in the 21st century. Still, some extinct animals like the dodo or great auk mainly survive through old illustrations. Often, though, the creator’s name is lost. “Artists are not always acknowledged — and there is even more rarely a sound grasp of the different roles played by drawers, engraves, and colourists,” Sleigh states. Below are selections from The Paper Zoo, recalling the sometimes anonymous artist’s role in five centuries of shared scientific knowledge.

Johannes Jonstonus, Historiae naturalis de insectis (Frankfurt am Main, 1650–30), illustrations by Matthäus Merian. From The Paper Zoo: “The engraver and publisher Matthäus Merian the elder was the father of Maria Sybilla Merian, although he died when she was very young. He was apparently less committed to life-drawing than his daughter, producing visual descriptions of no fewer than eight separate species of unicorn.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Purple-bellied Lory (Lorius hypoinochrous),” original watercolor, later engraved as plate 170 in George Edwards, A Natural History of Uncommon Birds, and of Some Other Rare and Undescribed Animals (London, 1743–51) (courtesy the British Library)

“Horned frog,” from George Shaw, The Naturalist’s Miscellany (London, 1789–1813). The original text with the picture asked: “Should inquiry be made, which is the ugliest animal yet known to exist? The creature here represented might perhaps with justice be proposed as an answer: an animal of such prodigious deformity as even to exceed in this respect the Surinam toad, or Rana Pipa.” (courtesy British Library)

“King penguin,” from George Shaw, Musei Leveriani explicatio Anglica et Latina (containing select specimens from the museum of the late Sir Ashton Lever, Kt., with descriptions in Latin and English) (London, 1792) (courtesy British Library)

“1. The four horned Ram, 2. Horns of the Iceland Sheep, 3. Horns of the Cretan Sheep,” from Ebenezer Sibly, An Universal System of Natural History Including the Natural History of Man, etc. (London, 1794–1807) (courtesy British Library)

“Red-bellied snake,” from George Shaw, Zoology of New Holland, the first book of Australian animals (London, 1794) (courtesy British Library)

“Ring-tailed lemur,” from George Edwards, A Natural History of Uncommon Birds, and of Some Other Rare and Undescribed Animals (London, 1743–51). From The Paper Zoo: “This picture summons up the myth of the Fall: the contemplated fruit, the lurking partner, the curling, striped, snake-like tail. There is even a banished creature disappearing off stage-left. Edwards kept a ‘Maucauco’ (as the lemur was also known) alive for a while in his home, finding it a ‘very innocent, harmless Creature, having nothing of the Cunning or Malice of the Monkey-Kind.’” (courtesy the British Library)

“Octopus,” from George Shaw, The Naturalist’s Miscellany (London, 1789–1813). From The Paper Zoo: “The ocean is understandably a source of terror, and tales of giant squid or octopuses are one way of making such fears manifest. In 1802, the French naturalist Pierre Denys de Montfort posited the existence of two such species. This example from a British book of the same era is truly the stuff of nightmares, coyly curled onto the page, but threatening to escape.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Koalas,” watercolor by unknown artist, inscribed on the back, “Coola, an animal of the opossum tribe from New South Wales,” from the Marquess Wellesley Collection of Natural History Drawings. From The Paper Zoo: “A report in the Philosophical Transactions of 1808 announced a new creature, seen a few years previously and known locally as a koala wombat. ‘The ears are short, erect, and pointed; the eyes generally ruminating, sometimes fiery and menacing; it bears no small resemblance to the bear in the fore-part of its body.’” (courtesy the British Library)

“Young Sumatran tapir,” probably by J. Briois (March 1824), gouache on paper, from an album of 51 drawings of birds and animals made at Bencoolen, Sumatra, for Sir Stamford Raffles. Raffles helped establish the Zoological Society of London and its Zoological Gardens (now London Zoo). (courtesy the British Library)

“Crab (‘Cancer dentatus’),” published in “Observations on the Genus Cancer of Dr. Leach with Descriptions of three new species” by Thomas Bell, from Transactions of the Zoological Society (London, 1835). From The Paper Zoo: “Bell devoted his life to some of nature’s less glamorous creatures, amongst them the Crustacea. In his History of the British Stalk-Eyed Crustacea, he lamented that most works of natural history lacked all but the most superficial coverage of the class. This beautifully textured illustration of an exotic species helps to remedy that situation.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Red-pied cock,” from Robert Fulton, The Illustrated Book of Pigeons (London, 1874–76). Darwin once stated that the pouter “has a much elongated body, wings, and legs; and its enormously developed crop, which it glories in inflating, may well excite astonishment and even laughter.” (courtesy the British Library)

“Dodo (‘Didus’),” from Richard Owen, Memoir of the Dodo (London, 1866). From The Paper Zoo: “Founder of the Natural History Museum (as it is known today), Owen used underhand means to make sure that he acquired the first complete dodo remains to be recovered after the bird’s extinction at the end of the seventeenth century. His Memoir came out the following year, featuring this illustration of a squat, ridiculous bird – not unlike Tenniel’s illustration of 1865 for Alice in Wonderland.” (courtesy the British Library)

“The Wild Boar,” drawing by Friedrich Specht for No. 4 in Cassell’s Natural History Wall Sheets (late 19th century) (courtesy the British Library)

Charlotte Sleigh’s The Paper Zoo: 500 Years of Animals in Art is published by the University of Chicago Press and available from Amazon and other online booksellers.

The post The Biodiversity of the World Captured in Five Centuries of Animal Art appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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tijuana-blues · 7 years

Text

I waited until i got to work to type this.

The end of this month crosses the 1 year mark. only one year ago my world was completely different, and on the Verge of Collapse. A little backstory is needed before i continue.

Yesterday was a normal Tuesday for me. Work didnt stress me, no problems arose. My parents texted me and my brother to eat steak for Dinner. The Food was delicious, and i was preparing to head home, hit a Nice Big Dab, play a round of Smite, and hit the sack, seeing as how i hadnt slept in over 24 hours, and the only thing fueling me was the Gram of Coke i bought on Monday lol.

So as i Get up to Put away my dishes and say goodbye, i get a FaceBook Message. Its my Cousin, Isaiah.

He says he got into an Argument with his dad and got kicked out. He needed somewhere to sleep for the night.

Sure, I tell him. I cant just ignore him if he has nowhere to go. He meets me at my house 5 Minuets later with a backpack full of beer, a bottle of Vodka, and half a loaf of bread and sandwhich meats. My Cousin is crazy lmao, he has the Apache Blood in him more than me. Anyway, since hes staying, i ask if he can find some Wax, so i wouldnt be taking from my Brothers Stash. We meet up a half hour later and pick it up.

so were in my garage, passing the rig back and forth while i Showed him how Smite Worked. And then suddenly he pulls a rolled up baggie out his pocket.

A rolled white Baggie full of powder.

“well we can finish this off, then. since youre letting me Crash here.”

Im not one to ask for payment to crash at my place, but i wasnt gonna say no either lol.

he pours it out on the glass i had been using myself and began to chop it fine with the razor blade i used too.

i had taken a couple pretty good sized dabs in quick order, so i was pretty toasted when he handed me the glass and rolled up dollar. I only saw the 2 lines he had cut on it, so i just assumed he cut two for both of us and i was going first. So i just aim the dollar at the line on the right and Snort away, dragging the dollar quickly, then my Nostril Burst into Flame. I had made a mistake, he cut one line for Me from the PILE on the left.

The PILE i just Tornado’ed up my nose, and was now drinking water to keep my throat from going numb from the river of coke mucus running down it. I hear my Cousin laughing next to me.

“youre a maniac, Cuz! you railed that whole Fat ass pIle!”

Well Fuck. so much for sleeping. Lighting Coursed through my Veins 5 minuets later, and i started drinking Beers to fight the Drip.

Now Isaiah told me that it was Good Shit, but i hardly take his word for it Nowadays. hes off mark most of the Time. Not this time, Though.

15 Minutes Later im Chainsmoking Cigarettes out front of my Driveway Drinking beer and my Jaw was shaking in my Head.

You know its Good Shit when it makes someone who spent the last 24 hours doing Coke often, gives him the Jabber Jaw.

me and Isaiah just began to talk bullshit into the NIght. at Around Midnight he was talking about a girl he knew for awhile now liking him. And him liking her too but he didnt think a Relationship would be good at the Time.

Then Youre Face appeared in my Head. Like it always does. I havent Gone a day yet where i dont see you in my head.

I dont know what caused this, Perhaps it was the Coke in my System with the Beer. Or Maybe it made me finally push past my Insecurities.

i Began to talk about how i Felt the Same, how i couldnt really talk to other women or really want to because of the Luggage i was Still Carrying with My Ex, Maria.

And from there i began to talk and Talk and Talk. I couldnt Stop, the Words i had been saying in my head Every day this Past Year came out. I sat in my Garage all night Long, Until 5:00 AM, Talking to Isaiah About Her.

I didnt hold back, and surprised myself as my eyes stayed dry and my Voice Stone Cold.

I told HIm about How every Woman i ever Dated All Cheated on Me and Left me without a Second Glance. About How My First Girlfriend Megan roped me into a 3 year Lie and ruined my trust in people. I talked about how the girls i dated afterwards all did the same thing, and how i wished i was joking to him.

I told him about how i blamed myself for each failed relationship, and how id spend nights trying to figure out a way to fix myself. How i felt like i wasnt meant to be Happy with anyone and how i stuffed it all down deep and dealt with it only in my most private moments.

...And Then i told him about How I Met her in my Junior Year of High School. The Class was Anatomy, a class full of 24 teenagers with the worlds Laziest Teacher. It was the First Day, and I walked in to a semi empty classroom with kids walking around, picking out a seat for the rest of the semester. the desks all faced forward, in groups of twos in four rows across. I took a seat on the outside Left side around the Middle. I just dropped my Bag and sat in my Seat, waiting for the class to start, checking my phone every now and Again.

And the seats began to fill up, the Desk next to me taken by a Tall Nerdy looking kid with blonde hair and Garth Glasses, A KId i Befriended. Daniel Butttruck. Thats not how you spell the last name but thats how it sounds lol. So i named him Butt Truck and thats his name to this day lol.

The Chair in front of Daniel on the right was taken by a Friend of Daniels, A glasses clad Girl name Aly, And all you need to know about her is that she has a IQ just North of a Bedroom Slipper.

And lastly, A Girl In crutches slowly approached the chair in front of me, and slid into the Chair as the class started. She had a big black velcro Boot strapped to her Leg, and it stuck out into the walkway on our left a bit. She had Dark Hair that was cut into a really cute short style. At first i didnt really notice her until a few weeks into the semester where the Teacher flipped the front two desks around, making Pods of 4. So Now She Faced me and Aly faced Dan on the right.

Thats When i noticed her.

She had Brown Eyes that shone slightly, like Fine Wood Tarnished to a Dark Brown Mixed with Lighter Browns. Her nose was a small little Button Nose between her prominent Cheekbones that raised when she smiled. She didnt Wear much Makeup, or at least looked like she didnt. I remember to this day about how i would see her smile and laugh a bit as we all got comfortable as a group, me cracking Jokes and being dumb some days, with Days. As time passed i began to Notice her more. I began picking her out in the hallways as i walked to class. Sometimes I would say Hi and see her reaction.She was like me in some ways, wasnt a morning person, and had the same sense of Humor. I remember the time Dan Told us about how he Broke his Leg at Blizzcon.

Yeah, if youre not 12 years old, Dan was the Kid who Broke his Leg in like 2006 at Blizzcon Dancing like a Zombie. He was on Tosh.O or was going to be? ill ask him next time i see him lol. Anyway, hes telling us this story and Maria and I are Freaking Out because we realized he is Internet Famous, and Laughed Like Crazy.

Soon enough, I went from saying hi when i saw her to stopping by her morning class to say hi and chat, since my morning class was down the hall from hers, then sometimes wed walk toward our next class. Mind You, i Was a Junior at 17-going on 18, and Maria was two years younger than me. I never tried to flirt with her, but i enojoyed talking to her. I remember clearly One Winter Morning as i walked in from the Bus Lanes to my Morning Government Class, I see her standing by her Morning classroom, i dont remember what it was. She had her phone and was tapping away on it. I quickened my Pace as i passed her, and called out, “Maria!” she popped her head up and looked at me, and i Flipped her off. She gave a look of Confusion and laughed, walking into her classroom as the bell rang. I remember giggling to myself as i sat down, then asking myself, “Why the fuck did i do that for?? Idiot!”

That was the beginning of my Senior Year, Graduated 2011. We didnt have much contact after i Graduated, while i did the little schooling i did do, and work at that God Awful Produce Factory that first year out of High School.It wasnt until about a year or so later, when i started my job at Wal-Mart and Moved in with Christian. i remember it being Spring When i Saw Her Again. I Was collecting carts to put back in the cart corral, when i heard a Girls Voice Call my Name out in the Parking Lot.

I look out towards Barros Pizza in the plaza and i saw her Again.

It was a Bright Sunny Day, Not too Hot yet in the Summer. Her Hair had grown a bit longer, but still had its shape. She wore a Bright Yellow SunDress with Sunflowers on it. I remember how Cute i thought it was on her. I remember this moment so clearly because it was in that moment i felt something inside my heart. Like a Spark running through it.

I smiled and walked out to meet her, she had two of her other friends with her, they had been eating at Barros. Maria Hugged me and Asked me how i had been, and i told her about how i started working there and i live on my own now, looking into colleges. We chatted for a few minutes before i had to go back to work. I asked for her number to text with and, she walked off. As i went back inside i remember the times in Anatomy with our little group, and how i used to enjoy chatting with her. it also made me Remember the day i flipped her off, Years ago. As i lay down in bed that night, I remember thinking of her and telling myself, “you know, i think she would be an awesome Girlfriend.”

Months Passed and i hadnt had much Contact with Maria. I had my own problems at the time and i remember that period of my life to be so unstable i didnt want to date a girl and Live there lol. But i would text her every now and then and wed talk for a bit. I remember her dating someone at the time, and living with them. One Night in Particular I noticed she was posting on Tumblr and it seemed like she was Upset. So i Texted her and asked if she was doing alright. She said she was fine, but shes too much like me, i say that just to get people to leave me alone. I text back that she can talk or vent to me, that i didnt mind. And she did. She began to talk about her Relationship with her BF and how they rarely see each other because of work schedules and School. She told me she was thinking of just packing her things and leaving while he was at work. I told her, “Do what you have to do. if you arent happy, why are you there?”

i texted about a week or so later. She left him. She Began talking about moving to Portland With a Friend, and Getting out of AZ. I remember being bummed out at the news, my feelings for her had began to grow. I decided to step away for awhile, let those feelings go away. It must have been around 3 or 4 months later, or longer? But anyway, i see her posting on Tumblr Again, and i send her a DM asking how shes been, and if she moved to Oregon. She replied back and said her Friend Flaked, and that she really didnt want to go anyway. She says to text her, and i Ask for her Number Again.

From then on, we talked semi often every couple days, more and more often as time passes. Finally, one Day i ask her to hangout sometime, go to the arcade, play air hockey. We had been talking pretty often by then, but no obvious flirting or anything. We meet up at the arcade and we take turns playing different games, Giant Connect Four, Air Hockey, Ticket Games. She bought me a little T rex with her tickets, i named him Revan. Then we just sat on a couch and People watched those who walked in. I remember feeling her arm against mine as we sat together, and Me leaning in Quickly and kissing her cheek, and Seeing her Smile.

About 4 or 5 more little Dates Later, I ask her if she would be serious, because i wanted to be.

Her Face Brightened as i saw her give the biggest Smile i ever seen from her, and she said Yes.

I told Isaiah how as the first year passed, i had been drunk off the happiness i had at the time. As i learned more about Maria, the more attractive she was to me. She is unlike any woman ive ever met before, or have met since. I told him about how i talked about her to my friends all the time, how smart she was, how she volunteered at a Funeral Home Embalming Bodies and playing with Corpses like a Badass.

Then came my 22nd Birthday, on the first year we were dating in 2014. I didnt even want a present from her, she was all i wanted any day. I dont know why i never told her things like that. She Baked me Fudge Brownies after work on the week of my birthday, and i was more than happy.

Then she pulled a box out of Nowhere, Smiled That Warm Smile i Had come to Adore, and Said “Happy Birthday Babe!”

Before that Moment, i Cant recall a time that i was genuinely Surprised like that. I remember the words stopping in my throat and jumbled with the ones i had tried to say Next. Genuine Excitement as i opened the Long Brown Box. I opened the top flap and pulled the Styrofoam Casing to the Rectangle stick inside, Bright White with a Black Line going Down along the Length of it. And inbetween the space in the Line at the Hilt, Was the Red and White Sigil of the Uchiha.

A fucking Uchiha Sword! Like i was in actual Disbelief when i Realized. And what i explain next i never told anyone other than Isaiah that night.

I had to Try my Hardest to keep from Crying in that moment. Not because i loved the Gift she had gotten me, and how she made it a surprise, Something no one has done for me before.

It was because i remember a couple weeks before,as we scrolled Netflix one evening, i Saw Naruto on the list. I geeked out and asked you if you ever watched it, and began geeking out about it to her. I Made her watch some of my favorite episodes, and she would playfully Tease me about it. As My birthday neared, i came home from work one day to watch some Naruto Myself, and Booted up Netflix.

Someone went about 4 episodes ahead of where we Left off Last. I was at Work, and it was her Netflix Account. She actually started watching it because of how much i told her i liked it. Then She picked out something SHE thought i would like, instead of asking what I wanted like My Lazy Ass does.

No one had ever shown interest in Me like that before, and it touched me right in that moment. I blocked all emotion and was all smiled as i Hugged her Maria and told her how much i loved it. That thing was glued to my hip for like 2 months straight, i would get high after work and watch old Samurai and Ninja Movies, and act out the sword fighting with it. I even slept with it for the first Week.

In the days after that, i saw Maria in a whole new Light. I always knew the Maria who had her walls up to Anyone, the “i really dont care,” attitude she had when she was grumpy in the mornings. I got a glimpse at the Maria That was Behind that wall, The Real Maria.

Who Was sweet, considerate, and Generous. Loving and who could make me laugh.

Ever since that i saw that small glimpse of Her, My heart swelled and pumped blood thrice as hard, and my hands would shake and my mouth would get dry.

I was Falling in Love with you.

Hours have Passed, its Around 2 AM. The Line of Coke has me at Full Speed still, having plenty to say still. Isaiah just sits and drinks, giving the odd acknowledgement every couple of Sentences.

The months after my Birthday have passed, and things seem great between Maria and I. If i only knew what i know now.....

If i had just Put more Faith in You, and in my Heart. It Kills me to know how things would be if i had just manned up and told you how you made me feel....

After the first year, the strain began. We both worked. I had the accounting Job with the Contracting Company, and Maria was Working at a local Kids clothing store, and Volunteered at the Funeral Home, Along with her classes, AND she tutored.

i understood she had a full plate alot of the the time, not to mention the headaches and pains she would have. And that time of the month the poor girl was in pain Constantly. So i didnt get upset or mad when she didnt have time to visit or was too tired from work. we were always talking.

But eventually the Strain and My past would come to Signal the End. it was August, 2015. My brother had fallen Behind on his Mortage Payments on his house, and needed to make a payment ASAP or he would lose the House. Naturally i gave him all the spare cash i could to keep a roof over our heads.

Unfortunately, It left me Penniless during the Month of August, which Marias Birthday was in. I Felt Like Complete Shit but i was in a corner. I apologized to her and promised to make it up to her. It wasnt a big deal to her, but i just hated that it made me look like i dont give a shit.

I had an Ace an hole, Though. i Saved a link to a site that makes Custom Rings that Maria had posted in Tumblr that she really liked and wanted. I ordered it and did it early enough to get it before Christmas. It was already Too Late.

Maria was beginning to grow distant, not replying as soon or as often before. the replies getting shorter and shorter, the tone colder and colder. As we approached My birthday again, I plan a Group event with my friends and family, cause last year we went Paintballing and Maria wasnt there, she had work and class.

So im thinking of what i could do for a group, and i see that Charlie Murphy is doing a show ON my Birthday, a Friday! It was Perfect. I called and Reserved seats for everyone, ordered Bottle Service, i was so excited!

I texted Maria Telling her About the Comedy show and Date of My Birthday. She says she cant make it cause of work, she gets off at around 12. I was Bummed, but I understood.

The Big Day comes and it starts off great. Work was a Breeze, and Maria greeted me with a Warm Happy Birthday first. As the day progressed Everything seemed Normal. As evening sets, we all get ready to go to the show. 8 o clock, Showtime!

it was a Fantastic Show, me and all my Friends and Family drinking and Laughing our Asses off. The only thing missing was Maria. I texted her before the show saying id text her after it was over. it woulda been near to midnight, and she coulda met up with us. The show ends around 1040, and the manager says we can finish off the bottles in the bar. Me and my Friends stay, and start getting Tanked.

Midnight Comes, and i text Maria asking if she was off yet and if she wanted to come meet us. Time passes, and no reply.

she probably went home and crashed, she was probably tired, I think, as it wasnt Abnormal for her to Nap during the Day or whenever she could. So i check Facebook, and it Hits me.

A friend Tagged her and some friends at Westgate, not Long ago.

My heart Goes into FreeFall in My stomach.

Why would she be at Westgate After work? did she Ignore my Text...? why...?

My insecurites flared, and i assumed the worst. I remember everything going Quiet around me, My heart Hammering in my chest, blocking out all other noise.

i Shouldve just called. i Shouldve had more Faith in you, and what i Meant to you.

When every girl you date cheats on you and leaves, in a Row, it was hard not to assume the worst, when the worst is what always happens to you.

I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as i get up to go outside the bar. She went to go out with her friends, and she knew it was my Birthday Today....

It didnt make any sense to me, it all seemed so unbeliveable. But ive been wrong before. And add the excessive Alcohol, you get a Recipe for a Terrible Mistake.

I wasnt Dumb, I knew Maria and I were Drifting apart, Our schedules getting more and more hectic. My job stressing me the fuck out day after day, Marias Packed Schedule.

I was so fucking stupid. Why did i wait? Why didnt i just drop to my knees and tell her when i look at her eyes, i feel like i could do anything. That when she was in my arms i Felt like i needed to become a Better man for her. Why did i wait?

December. Jerkoff Hipster making her ring is falling behind, gonna need a couple more weeks. delivery date mid Janurary. I Threw A fucking Fit. i could feel it all slipping away, no matter what I did. Why did i Wait?

I was so Terrified of Opening up to you, and you not feeling the same way. The Thought of looking into your eyes and telling you that i was in love with you, and i wanted to be with you forever, or until i died. I was Terrified of looking into your eyes and Shooting me down. The texts got shorter and shorter. only strengthening My doubts and Fears.

Christmas. The Ring wasnt Ready yet. Another Fucking Embarassment. She got me a Captain Phasma Painting and some Marvel Shirts. I tell you, “look, i ordered this is time to get it for Christmas, but the Guy Got Delayed and it wasnt ready yet, but... i showed you the Ring on my Phone.

It was the last smile i Saw on you in Person.

So many oppurtunities, wasted. so fucking Stupid. I promise to make it up to you.

Down to One Word Answers, or no Reply at all.

Janurary 2016. Hiroshima.

Valentines Day is Coming, Ill have the Ring Then! and i ordered a Cute little Stuffed Corgi to go with Some Flowers and a nice Romantic Date! i order everything and wait.

You came over one week, and seemed in such a foul mood, i couldnt place it. I thought you were in Pain Probably. I tried to cuddle you, kiss your cheek, you clearly dont want the affection. I try something alittle more...Adult.

You Grabbed my Wrist, and Yanked my Hand away, throwing it off you. I was in Shock. I still remember the look you Gave me that night, Clear as day. That Piercing Glare, Looking Right at me. Pure Anger. and Pain.

Youre replies, in thier Rarity, lacked no padding for thier sharp edges. I believe its all Over Now.

Late January 2016.

You came over one Last time. We had Sex one last time. I remember grabbing you after the first go around as you got up and laid you back down. I was such a Fool.

The Ring was Delivered that Weekend. Monday i text you to see when your free to visit next, your ring is ready and i wanted to see if it fit correctly. You reply your busy tomorrow. i ask with what? you reply with: Concert. i ask What concert. You say: Tribal Seeds.

You stopped Replying After That. The Next Day i texted you again asking when can you come hangout and see your Ring?

You Broke up with me after that.

It felt like everything around me had fallen below me, and all that was left was the dark and Silence. Typing about it now makes the Hole in my heart Ache. I remember how hard the Rain Poured that Night.....As i Cried along with it.

And it was only the Beginning for me.

The first weeks after that day are a blur to me. Either Too Many Drugs Or too Many Drinks, take your pic. i was Broken. One moment you were there, you were mine, and i was gonna fix everything come Valentines Day. I had a Nice Romantic Dinner planned, then a Scenic Walk where i would show you the ring and tell you that even though were having a Rough Patch right now, that i loved you and i wanted to do everything i can to prove it to you.

But you Had other plans didnt you?

God i can still feel my heart when I saw pictures of you and Him....I dont know how to Describe how Painful it was to see. It was only Feb, and you were already with someone else? Posting Valentines Shit? I cried for hours, I begged for you not to be like the others, To just leave me for Someone Else so Fucking Fast, like i was Nothing to you.

But thats how it went down, though. Didnt it?

Friends for over 5-6 Years, Lovers for 2.

I couldnt even get a goodbye.....Just a Text. Was that all i was worth, to you?

You got with him within Weeks of Dumping me. Yet your Tumblr youre heartbroken and sad. It was like i had Entered into some NIghtmare.

within the First Two Weeks, I dropped four Hits of Acid at Once. I wanted to Escape. Instead i jumped right into it. I see you posting on Tumblr. Sad, Depressing things. Your Tags show how you deleted the texts from your phone, even though you didnt want to. How you could literally see in your texts of your declining Affection for me. In the end, It was my own doing.

With the Courage of Acid, I messaged you. I ask if your okay, and you ask why, like i dont see your posts, like i dont possibly know why you could be feeling so sad. Even then, at the end, you couldnt be honest with me.

I ask you Maria cant we please Talk?

You say About what? Like you thought i was stupid.

And thats when i just finally, for the first time, although Far too Late. I opened up to you.

I remember Anatomy.

I Remember You At Barros that Day

I Remember Air Hockey at the Arcade.

I remember The Birthday Gift.

The Words poured out then like they do now, The Spark you set in my Heart was the most important thing to me.

Whatever i needed to do to make it work, no matter what, just please dont give up on me.....

You may as well as shot me dead with your reply.

“if you had said that before, things would be Completely different.”

“saying it Now doesnt Mean Much to me now”

Those words still Haunt Me, A Year Later. And it is not even the worst to come.

You Had the verdict long before i even knew. You Found my “dating Profile” Online, and didnt say anything. just let it stew inside you. As we grew apart it hurt to see you just blatantly ignore my messages. So i used that profile to look at women, nothing else. It was only on My Birthday i Night i Made a Mistake i Will Regret forever. Maria wasnt there, she was with her friends. she didnt want to come here, or answer my texts. she chose to be with my friends. I was always the girls’ Second Choice. I got Drunk. I got Upset. I wanted Petty Revenge. I cheated. I Dont even Remember her Name or what she really looked like. Never should have done it.

A month Passes. March. I ask to still be friends, and how i missed you. We start talking again, almost like how it used to be. Tagging each other in posts again.But i also See him. Concerts, posts, tags. It tore me apart. Some Days i would wake up at 4 AM from my alarm for work, and Your Face would be the first thing i see in my head. The Tears would flow before i could even open my eyes for the first time. I try to get you to meet up with me, so we can talk. After i opened up that night you agreed we should talk. Then you just changed your mind....You Said give it time, walk the path, smell the Roses, and maybe we can start again...

My heart is Pumping like a cannon as i go into detail for Isaiah, how i became a madman, was so motivated by the mere notion that MAYBE there was a CHANCE we could work it out later. I couldnt be stopped. I drank Nothing but Water, ate only Chicken, Raw Veggies, Salmon and Fish, and cut out ALL sugar and breads. I dropped 30 pounds in a Month, and was in great shape for a fight at the gym i trained at. I would watch these Inspirational videos everymorning at 3 AM, just to run for an hour. I posted everything on Snapchat, Only Because i Wanted Maria to see it. I was so Optimistic...

April 2016.

Family Vaction in Mexico. A week with a private beachfront Villa and as much Booze as i can drink. i go in with Gusto. The Villa Has Wifi, can keep up with your posts.tagged me in some. Then the posts about him.

I hated how it made me feel to read them. He had what i wanted for us. Our own Place. Just Us. and a Dog.

He took My Place and it Ate me Alive from the Inside.

I stayed up all night, drinking tequila by the shot, playing Toro Y moi and Chain smoking. I watched the reflection of the moon dance on the waves, and thought of you. When i hear the Ocean, and nights when the Moon is Large and Beautiful, i think of you.

I Broke that night......

I knew there was no Path, no flowers to smell.

There was no Second Chance.

I Lost her.

And i couldnt get her back. She didnt want me anymore.

she wants someone else now, and when i Think about it I have to imagine Flames burning the thoughts away.

I guess after that night, i lost my motivation, i Wised up.

And i knew i had to come clean to you. It was the hardest thing i ever did.

It hurts so much still, looking back. Im So sorry...

Even after i hurt you that day, i still saw a sliver of you come through your walls.

I begged for you in time to forgive me, and over time we could be friends again. Let me earn back your trust, understand i made a Terrible Mistake and im willing to do anything to make it work.

Most people would have told me to go to hell and never talk to them again.

But not you. Not even then.

You Said, “ Maybe in time i will forgive you. maybe i wont. Depends on how i feel. for now you should make yourself scarce.”

I was stunned,,,those words hung on me for months after. Did you really mean that, Maria?

And that was the last time i heard from you for awhile...i remember Breaking down at work....The Silence hurt the most. No Texts, No Posts, Nothing.

Not only did i lose the woman i Love, I lost a dear Friend as well...

When i Returned home, i Quit Training, I quit the fight, I quit Dieting. That deep, Dark Hole you brought me out of, Maria.....when i saw you that day....I went Right Back in.

since May 2016 i was in a hole that i could not get out of. sure, i made it look like i was living the life on snapchat, but in reality, on the inside, i was so broken. Then Life Decided to kick me while i was down, and Took my Bonnie away from me. As if it couldnt get worse. My Brother and I Bawled as they put her to sleep. I was so fucking Lost.....

So i texted the one person who maybe might put up with my Bullshit....You.

and you were nice, you coulda kicked me when i was down and wouldve been justified. But you heard me out....More of that Real you shining through.

It is 4 AM now. i have spent all night telling this story to Isaiah, who has listened intently this whole time.

I tell him how after the months of Bonnies Death, I just didnt leave the house. Tried my Best to leave you be and not see shit that would kill me on the inside. The days became Quiet and Lonely. your presence in Tumblr becomes less and less active.

I hardly see you or your posts anymore...

i harden my heart and try move on.

Then i see your posts about your health. the doctor scare, Lupus.

I felt so bad, and worried i wanted to see if you were okay, even though i knew you hate my guts.But i worried and Worried and finally said fuck it and just sent a message saying i heard what youre going through, im sorry, i hope you get better soon, if you need anything, please ask

I wasnt expecting a Response, Yet you sent one : Thanks for Caring.

couldnt expect more than that, so i leave it be.

That Night, Maria makes a post.

Its About me.

My heart jumped into my throat and got stuck. My hands shook as i held my phone.

I didnt completely erase you out of my life.

i still think about you, from time to time.

Thank you for texting me today.

thank you for still caring about me.

Despite the shit i post on here, I still Care about you too.

And No its not the drugs Talking.

I read and Re-Read that post thousands of times in the following months. On Bad Days, Days where i wanted to give up. I read that post and it kept me going. First time reading it i Cried for hours. It was as if God heard a prayer.

To see you say that you still cared.....you will never know what that did. how that felt for me. Even Now it makes me tear up.

My heart didnt hurt as much after that, it healed some of it. I was always confused with Maria. One moment she says she cares, then comes off as your nothing to her. i never knew which was which.

and now, as the year came to face my Birthday again. There was only one thing i wanted. truly wanted. and if i got it, getting nothing else from anybody wouldnt even fucking matter.

I just wanted you to say Happy Birthday.

I didnt think you would. i thought you would have moved on by now, enjoying youre new life with him. I couldnt bleed about it any longer. i took the pieces of my heart and piece it back together again. i began to accept reality. and the pain began to dull.

NOV. 20th 2016

Saturday.

Woke up Early and went out to the woods to do some shooting. all day there. Head back for some Missouri BBQ, and get ready to get Blackout drunk Tonight. Night Goes well, Got trashed, had fun, Fought a couple dudes, enjoyed myself.

Got back to Devins Late that night. Eat Chocolate BDAY cake drunk.

Head off for bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the time. 9:40 PM

She isnt gonna say it. Oh well.

go to your blog to lookup your post to make me feel better.

Read the words, smile and Remember. Pain Begins to set in.

back out of tags to leave, see another tag you never seen before.

“C and I”

click tag link.

Heart Explodes in my Chest, Breath Frozen in throat.

Its a picture. of us. Smiling.

the Caption Read:” I know i have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings and stuff but this guy right here means the world to me. Hes sweet, caring and Funny and---”

I couldnt read the Rest. I began to Cry Non Stop, Like someone Just Told Me my mother was Murdered.

I couldnt stop it, couldnt control myself. The pain was so much. Each one more painful to look at. How did i never see them? How??

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt keep taking the pain of it. I deserved to be Happy too..

its been two months since that day.

its been over a year since i last seen you with my own eyes, heard your voice....

And now we reach the end of this story. i force myself to block out the memories, remember nothing.

I have to move on with my life....

and yet....after saying all that Isaiah, which After i had finished, 8 hours had passed. 8 hours i poured out my soul. such a weight had been lifted, it felt so good for someone to hear me out...

so i finish this sad story, and Isaiah asks me one question: How do you feel about her now?

I stayed quiet for a good amount of time. i mulled it over. every memory. Good. the Bad. The Ugly. and i finally settled upon:

I miss her, Isaiah. Not like a lover misses his spouse, but like a friend who helped another Grow.

I hope to see you again one day, Maria.

#m #personal #tldr #my soul

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