#while also having poor impulse control | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honey-milk-depresso · 3 months

Note

Jason, Tim and Dick with an s/o who’s completely the opposite of them??

Requests open until 1 Feb (GMT 8+)! Please read the rules on my pinned post (provided the navi post link to go to rules). Thank you!🩷

Batboys with an s/o completely opposite of them

Dick Grayson

Dick is a very extroverted, active and optimistic individual while you’re very introverted, lazy (let’s all be real here-) and… well, he calls you a realist (because he doesn’t wanna call you a pessimist-).

The two of you have a rather funny dynamic between the two of you: Dick’s always the one dragging you out because you need “sunlight”.

“Come on, s/o! Let’s take a stroll! Gotta get that vitamin D!”

“Dick… it’s 8pm.”

“…” “You get the point, come on now-”

He’s just concern for your health because he loves you and doesn’t want you to just laze at home all the time, you know? And isn’t it nice to take a stroll with your boyfriend?? Come on now-

Dick’s always the one to cheer you up when you’re grumpy or sad (or both), and you’re always there to ground him back to reality when needed and he appreciates that.

Another thing to note is that he actually has poor communication skills when it comes to the relationship, and always feels like he’s a burden to share his problems. You, on the other hand, aren’t afraid to speak your mind and put a lot of trust in him when it comes to communicating challenges within your relationship with Dick and you encouraging him to put trust in you because he will never burden you because you love him honestly makes him admire you, and also fall in love with you even more.

It’ll take some time, not because he doesn’t trust you, it’s just because there’s that lingering thought of not wishing to burden you and also because old habits die hard but… slowly he’ll get there, and that’ll be the one thing you guys can be similar in.

For now, he loves his potato couch cutie (just stroll with him every once in a while at least-) <3

Jason Todd

Has no idea how he even managed to get you, because you’re everything he’s not.

He’s always so emotional, impulsive and jealous, while you’re so calm, rational and trusting in him even when he knows he’s got so much sin in him that he’s not proud of committing, and knows he can’t be forgiven for them at times.

Yet… you never saw that in him. You’ve always thought he’s someone compassionate, loyal and caring, and you love him even at his worse. He’s never thought of himself like that after you told him so sincerely and gently that he almost broke down and cried. You love him so much as much as he loves you it makes him feel so warm and comforted. He just feels so lucky to have you.

He kinda wishes he’s like you, because he’d always think it’s better to be anyone else but you’d tell him otherwise. Besides, it’s always opposites that attract.

He loves you with every fibre of his being, you’re like a second chance given to him. Well, not that he sees you as a way to feel better but he genuinely believes you’re an angel sent to him. Literally. But seriously, he loves you and he’ll try to be a little bit more calmer than let his anger get the best of him. You always can calm him down anyways.

You always told him that his compassion for you touched you, and that his warmth and love is something you’ve never had before from anyone, you make him feel so special, you know that? <3

Tim Drake

Tim’s… all sorts of things. He’s ambivert, more introvert-leaning, but he’s also poor in time management due to his workaholic nature and rather reserved in temperament.

And you were a lot more responsible and better in time management because you ACTUALLY do set limits for yourself than just doing EVERYTHING in one goal. You weren’t a control-freak like him, rather taking things slowly. Just like him, you’re an ambivert but more extrovert-leaning and you had a tendency of getting lost in your emotions, just being more sensitive than him in general.

Every time you try to drag him to bed, shower, eat, just take care of himself he gets a bit pouty every time you do this but he’s touched. You had to open his eyes to let him see that timetables exist, and open up his heart to let him know it’s okay to take a break. Breaks even. He deserves breaks.

Tim is always there to calm you down. You just get so worried for him every time he goes out for patrol because anything could happen to him in Gotham. He reassured you, kissing your forehead softly while you patch him up with a little bit of tears glossing your eyes and tells you he’s okay. He’s never really had people care for him so much to the point they cry which was why when he got a few minor cuts on his arms and torso, he panicked when he saw you cry so much. He makes a mental note to make sure he doesn’t come home too injured, but at the same time you always tell him he shouldn’t hide his pain from you. You just want him safe.

You two just blend well together, and he always feels like he can come to you when he feels troubled. And you can always go to him for comfort.

Bonus: You dragging Tim by his feet to go to bed while his coffee-drunk ass is sighing in defeat and lets you drag him away but smiled tenderly despite being tired. Sigh, fine. He’ll sleep, just for you. <3

Reblogs help! ^^

1K notes · View notes

botanicalsword · 4 months

Text

Moon signs ✧ how they behave

✧ ✧ ✧

>> Part II

Moon in Aries

They respond quickly and passionately to situations and want instant satisfaction. They like being the first to get involved in a situation. When they’re close to someone, they tend to be harsh and easily lose their temper with family members. Their impatience also shows up when it comes to money matters.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Taurus

They are steady, practical, and don't get easily angry. They don't like change, need financial security, and can attract a lot of money and a comfortable life. They really enjoy living in a comfortable home, but they can become lazy once they're there. They don't often experience poor lifestyle. They know how to handle resources carefully and practically, therefore they can keep wealth for a long time.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Gemini

They go through different emotions and feelings, can easily adapt and feel restless. They are curious about what others think and feel, and they can be easily influenced by things happening around them. They are always mentally and physically occupied.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Cancer

They strongly and naturally desire comfort, closeness, and a feeling of safety and protection from the outside world and the people around them. They enjoy old furniture and antiques, and they have a sentimental connection to various old items. Their sense of security is tied to nostalgia, and they have a deep emotional attachment to old objects that cannot be easily broken.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Leo

These individuals often have a high opinion of themselves and enjoy receiving attention and admiration from others. They strongly desire recognition, acknowledgment, and gratitude. They enjoy spending money to bring themselves happiness, rather than seeking praise from others. They have a strong sense of self-confidence and make bold and assertive investments.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Virgo

People with this placement tend to be humble, gentle, and attentive to the needs of others, offering help when necessary. They are highly sensitive to criticism and have been suppressing their emotions for a long time. This makes it challenging for them to express their true feelings, as they try to conceal their inner vulnerability. Consequently, this can create emotional barriers in intimate relationships.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Libra

They have a distaste for rough and impulsive behaviors. When the Moon is in this position, it signifies grace, social abilities, and a charismatic personality. They strongly dislike any kind of discord or disharmony. They are highly fearful of arguments and conflicts. They excel in finding compromises and setting aside their ego, but once a limit is crossed, there is no going back.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Scorpio

They have a strong inclination to actively engage in current affairs and relationships. They approach life with enthusiasm and focus. They have experienced a childhood filled with intense emotions, which has led to the development of a heightened sixth sense. This allows them to directly perceive the thoughts of others. They possess a sense of ownership when it comes to emotions, although they do not seek to control others' actions. They possess the ability to sense whether or not someone is being deceptive towards them.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Sagittarius

They are energetic, proactive, and open-minded individuals with a free-spirited nature. They genuinely interact with others, without hidden agendas, and strive to explore a wider world. Their priority is to find meaning and purpose in everything they undertake. While they may not have overly gentle, delicate, or empathetic personalities, they are also not socially awkward. They are very lucky and hold a strong belief that tomorrow will bring improvement, even when faced with setbacks.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Capricorn

They highly regard rationality, desire respect, and exemplify self-discipline as role models. They find comfort in having a sense of control. During their youth, they lacked maternal affection, which has made them very conservative in managing their finances. They frequently felt that they didn't have enough money, so they are extremely cautious when it comes to spending. Their sense of security is derived from tangible savings and real estate.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Aquarius

They are amiable and enjoy socializing, but they exhibit a sense of emotional detachment. They are emotionally independent, composed, and inclined to seek truth and make rational decisions. They can come across as emotionally cold and distant, which allows them to be self-reliant in their emotions. However, they may struggle to form deep emotional bonds with others naturally.

✧ ✧ ✧

Moon in Pisces

They are highly susceptible to external influences and may tend to see the world in an overly positive light. They possess a vivid imagination and a profound yearning for spirituality and romance. They dislike being confined or constrained. They have a strong sense of empathy and can be easily moved by emotions. They might also make impulsive investment decisions driven by their emotions. While they may not excel in practical service, they frequently offer emotional support and willingly lend an ear to others' worries.

>> qualities of partner that they are in search of

✧ ✧ ✧

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

Quick Access to : ❥ Astro / Asteroid Indicators ❥ Synastry / Composite Chart Observations ❥ House Stellium Observations ❥ Astro basic info / Brief reads ❥ Asteroid database ❥ Personal studies ✧ spiritual journal

Exclusive access : Patreon

/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword

629 notes · View notes

spongeyspot · 5 months

Text

Toxic Traits/Red Flags HC

Characters: Arthur, Javier, John, Lenny, Dutch, Micah, Charles, Sean, Hosea, Mary Beth, Abigail, Tilly, Karen, Sadie, Molly

(A/N): WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS DAWG. I LOVED @cowboyfromh3ll 's take on that shit sm and these hcs have literally been swimming in my head for weeeeeeeeks bro

Edit: some of these were kinda hard because there's not a lot of bad in the characters themselves... I had trouble with specifically Charles, Lenny, Mary Beth, and Tilly. Sorry if they may be OOC. IM EVEN DOING THE GIRLS BECAUSE IM IN A SILLY GOOFY MOOD

Content Warning: female reader, jealousy, self hate, narcissism, gaslighting, physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, mentions of murder and violence, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex (Sean, Micah, Sadie kind of) (MINORS DNI)

Not edited btw

The boys

Arthur Morgan

- Honestly, I feel like Arthur would have this insane, crippling fear of rejection, especially when it comes to dating. - His self hate/deprecation plays a huge part in this, and quite honestly, him and Mary not working out probably also probably contributed to it. - Very emotionally distant. Has a hard time expressing his feelings openly due to that same fear of rejection.🚩 - Bottles shit up until he feels like he's gonna explode 🚩 - His impulse control is almost nonexistent 🚩 - Will resort to saying things that he doesn't even mean. He just says things when he's angry🚩 - Will hate himself even more if he makes you cry - Won't hesitate to run away from camp for a while to cool off. This isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but he usually takes his time away to overthink the fuck out of everything - Prone to acting violent. (not to someone he cared about, but to other people, absolutely)Also due to his poor impulse control. 🚩

Javier Escuella

- Has a flirty personality, but around women, it just seems to get worse. 🚩 - Tells you you're overreacting if you tell him it bothers you🚩 - Overprotective of you. Always has his eyes on you, and practically orders you to stay in camp where it's safe. - As if you step one foot outside the camp without him, you'll spontaneously drop dead - Jealous asf. Are you laughing at what Bill just said? It wasn't even that funny. Why are you standing so close to him? You should be at least 6 feet away from him, not 5 and a half. 🚩 - Also has a problem with how you dress sometimes. God forbid your shirt is ever low cut. He'd probably ask you to change. 🚩 - And if you get offended or upset, he'll lie and tell you it's because he can't stop staring at your chest, and he'd like to focus of whatever it was he was doing.🚩

John Marston

- Stubborn as all hell. Doesn't listen to anybody for anything.🚩 - Commitment issues up the ass - Says mean things out of anger and sometimes actually means them 🚩 - Won't apologize half the time. He thinks kissing it better actually makes it better 🚩 - Regularly ignores his own bad habits instead of actually facing them 🚩 - Will run away from problems like Arthur, but worse. He'd be gone a really long time.🚩 - Gets annoyed with you if you get angry at him for leaving and staying away for a while. He told you he needed space, didn't he? What else do you need from him?? 🚩 - Ignorantly clueless half the time. Head empty, no thoughts.

Lenny Summers

- Not assertive in the slightest, and usually, respectfully, keeps to himself. -Takes orders without verbal complaints but inside he's annoyed as fuck 🚩 - Even if he hates doing something he'll probably just go "Okay" and do it anyway, and he'll sulk all day afterwards - Refuses to tell you what's wrong because he thinks he'll sound childish.🚩 - If you push the issue, he might snap at you out of annoyance like "Would you just let it be??" - Immediately feels guilty and shameful, and he'll hide away until he's ready to apologize and face you again - Also kind of a know-it-all... He'll correct you a LOT. It would get annoying 🚩 - Would blatantly tell you you're wrong before correcting you🚩 - Not necessarily an asshole about it but he still tends to get under your skin sometimes

Dutch Van Der Linde

- The BIGGEST Narcissist you'll ever meet.🚩 -He loses another piece of his mental state with every breath he takes. Slowly but surely losing his mind.🚩 - King of gaslighting🚩 - How could you even think that about him? He could never do anything wrong! You must be crazy...🚩 - Tries to recite his "pretty words" from Evelyn Miller to try and sound smarter than he actually is 🚩 - Expects you to just feed his ego without him actually doing anything to earn it🚩 - Will try to correct you even when he's wrong🚩 - Refuses to admit he's wrong. He can never be wrong. That word isn't even in his vocabulary unless he's talking about literally anyone but himself🚩

Micah Bell

- Where do I even start with this guy - Not above putting his hands on you if he doesn't get his way. Let's be honest here.🚩 - Mega Narccisist, almost as bad as Dutch 🚩 - Will brag and share every sexual encounter you've ever had with him like he's talking about the weather🚩 - VERY prone to Violence 🚩 - NO impulse control. Murders people for fun.🚩 - Backhanded and borderline abusive compliments 24/7 "You'd look so good if you weren't so fucking fat..." 🚩 - Selfish lover. Thinks just sticking it in will do the trick, and it does, for him at least.🚩 - Little to no affection. What are you? His girlfriend? Wait...🚩 -If he actually does show you affection, and you react in surprise, he'll tell you to go fuck yourself, and that that's the last time he ever does anything nice for you.🚩

Charles Smith

- Impossible to read sometimes - Like Arthur, Charles tends to keep a lot of his emotions bottled up until he feels like he's gonna pop 🚩 - Like most of the men in the Van Der Linde gang, Charles is also prone to acting violently. I mean, he started a bar fight with a fucking chair, and he fights in street fighting rings, let's be real for a second.🚩 - He's incredibly quiet and reserved a lot of the time, and sometimes you just assume that he's listening to you when you talk, but a lot of the time, he's lost in his own thoughts. - Will do everything anyone asks him to at the expense of his own free time and energy, and sometimes he works himself to exhaustion just to try and please everyone.🚩 - In doing so, he sometimes doesn't have time for himself at the end of the day. It also seems like you spend time together less and less as the days go on. - If he ever got himself hurt and you tried to help him, he'd decline any help with anything to save his own pride. The last thing he needs is you thinking he's weak. 🚩 - Extremely Overprotective. Like to the point where he'd beat the shit out of anybody you asked him to🚩

Sean Macguire

- An Alcoholic🚩 - horny 99% of the time, but half that time he probably has whiskey dick. Still asks you to try but doesn't understand that it's like trying to play pool with a rope... - If he can manage to be sober enough to actually get it up, and you're not in the mood, he'd get pissy and annoyed with you for "wasting his boner" 🚩 - Will probably also brag about having sex with you to everyone🚩 - Needy as all hell - Bro sulks on purpose - Low key loves the attention you give him when you continue to ask him what's wrong, but he never actually tells you and constantly says "I'm fine..." or "It's nothing..." 🚩 - But then sighs dramatically and continues sulking and dragging his feet so you keep giving him more attention 🚩

Hosea Matthews

- Ignores his physical health until he's practically dying. You've told him to get that cough looked at for literal years and he just says "I will" and does nothing 🚩 - sometimes talks to you as if you're a child especially if he's around Dutch -low key gaslights you sometimes 🚩 - and he says it with such a gentle tone, its hard to catch it 🚩

The girls

Mary Beth Gaskill

- Daydreams way too much - Likes to live in her romance novel fantasy land rather than face reality 🚩 - Cries a lot - Tries to be angry but can't help but cry instead - If crying makes you feel bad for her, she'll probably do it on purpose so you comfort her and give her attention🚩 -If you're in a fight, she'll turn on the crocodile tears to get you to stop being angry with her or whatever it is you're arguing about.🚩

Abigail Roberts

- She can be verbally abusive if she's pushed far enough 🚩 - Holds in a lot of her emotions🚩 - Neglectful of her own personal needs to make sure you or Jack are fully provided or cared for🚩 - a lot of the time, when she's upset with you, you're probably given the cold shoulder and the silent treatment - incredibly protective. Not necessarily a bad thing, but she can sometimes be super overbearing.

Tilly Jackson

- Tells it how she sees it, sometimes accidentally sounding a lot colder than she means to 🚩 - Too sarcastic for her own good 🚩 - Laughs a little too much sometimes when you tell a joke, and you can often tell it's actually incredibly fake🚩 - gets irritated really easily, especially if she's bothered while doing her chores. The last thing she needs is Grimshaw on her ass again.🚩 - irritable a lot of the time, unintentionally becoming short or snapping at you - like john, she also believes that kissing it better is better than actually apologizing

Karen Jones

- An alcoholic 🚩 - picks fights with you for fun, finds it entertaining to see how red your face can get from anger 🚩 - Screaming matches are a regular occurance between you guys, and she starts it almost every time 🚩 - Pretty jealous when it comes to the opposite sex🚩 - Has self doubt and believes that she can't give you everything a man probably could

Sadie Adler

- The nosiest woman in America. No chill. She reads everyone's mail. - Makes a lot of loose threats 🚩 - Anger issues🚩 - Low impulse control🚩 - Can be a little too rough sometimes 🚩 - If she's upset with you, she'll either yell or storm off. Sometimes both. 🚩 -(She tends to walk away a lot more often because she's actuall self aware that her anger issues are a problem) - She'd never admit that to you though.

Molly O'Shea

- Even more jealous than Javier🚩 - Glares at and envies anyone you talk to that isn't her🚩 - Has immaginary conversations with people in her head🚩 - Rubbing her hands together when the real life conversations are following the script she had planned out in her brain - Needs constant reassurance - "D'you even love me anymore?!"🚩 - Overthinks everything 🚩 - Paranoid as hell about infidelity - Gets mad at you when she dreams about you cheating on her🚩

601 notes · View notes

samethstarrart · 11 months

Text

My "Silver the Whenhog" design has been circulating, so I made a little ref sheet for anyone who wants to draw him. Also got some bonus lore below!

Silver's transformation is unrelated to the circumstances behind Sonic's Werehog form, so there are quite a few differences.

Silver won't explain the details to anyone, but it seems to have been caused by a time travel accident. Fixing it is his top priority and he's gradually getting more distressed about it over time.

While Silver does grow slightly, most of his additional size is fluff. His hands and feet get much larger and his tail grows longer and fluffier like a fox's. He still has quills, but they are covered in a soft, downy fuzz. This shift in proportions makes his movements more clumsy.

Silver's transformations are not affected by daylight cycles, but are instead impacted by the position of the moon. He transforms approximately every 6 hours and has some control over when it happens and can delay it for up to a couple of hours. He has a pretty good sense of when his next shift is coming and will plan around it.

Silver's emotions grow more extreme. When he's happy, it's the best day of his life, when he's sad he's completely devastated. He's more argumentative and can be impulsive, territorial, possessive, and jealous.

His powers are greatly boosted, but his focus is poor. With his PK he can handle large objects with ease, but he can't concentrate on moving multiple objects at once. He also will drop anything that moves, like people, robots... or himself.

He doesn't have complete control over his time travel ability in his Whenhog form and sudden changes in emotion will cause him to shift back to the beginning of his current 6 hour cycle. It seems more common when he's hurt, scared, or surprised. This can trap him in time loops during stressful situations.

#2023 #fanart #Sonic the Hedgehog #Silver #Ref

522 notes · View notes

koolades-world · 3 months

Note

Can i ask For hc with BPD! Mc?:3

hi!! of course :)

please let me know how I did since I didn't know too much about bpd until I did research in preparation for this request. don't hesitate to tell me if something is wrong or inaccurate since the last thing I want is to be insensitive by accident

enjoy!!

Mc with Bipolar Disorder

Lucifer

his office is always open to you if you need silence or a place to get away

makes any accommodations you need at RAD

he himself experiences insomnia so if you're ever awake really late you can stay up together

while he often watches from a distance, he doesn't hesitate to act if you need something even if its a large or last minute request

Mammon

considering how poor his spending habits are, he understands you if you have poor impulse control to an extent

if you want them, he wouldn't mind sharing tips on how he manages himself

he also understands the urge to turn your life around at three am and then never complete the first task

will be by your side no matter what! <3

Levi

he lets you know often you can lean on him for support whenever you need

during a depressive episode, he's going to help you through it

you've helped him so many times when he thought nobody else would so he knows its time to return the favor

whatever you need, he's going to get it for you

Satan

like mammon, he somewhat understands to an extent

his rage can be random and onset quickly

since you arrived in the Devildom, he felt like he's changed for the better, and is by your side when ever you need it

embraces you for you since you did that for him, and wants to return the favor

Asmo

always checks up on you, whether you're doing good or not

maintains good communication with you and ensure you are able to speak to everyone you're close to often

if you're not feeling up to it, he helps you out with your self care and hygiene

he offers free hugs all the time so feel free to take him up on his offer <3

Beel

if you have a lack of appetite, at first, he didn't know exactly what to do

instead of forcing you to eat, he decides to bring you your favorites

he know everything isn't sunshine and rainbows and will be with you through your highs and lows

during manic episodes, he's the best to have by your side as he's so patient and cares about you

Belphie

while he himself experiences extreme lethargy, he can't help but grow concerned when you join him

when you accidently wake him up in the middle of the night with a new hobby you've started, he's not bothered

he's always willing to lend you a listening ear

if you need something, just say the word

#obey me #obey me!#obey me satan #obey me x reader #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me levi #obey me lucifer #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

155 notes · View notes

baldursgat3 · 6 months

Text

Well I was bored so I did what everyone does and wrote a 3.5k word fanfiction and made a brand new blog to post it on. So.

Anyway that thing that Gortash did to his parents was pretty fucked up right? Oh hey Ascended Astarion what are you doing here?

gn Tav, cw for some allusions to some non-con-ish stuff, haven't even done an ascended run yet but it's fine also spawn Tav

He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull. "Astarion, please don't-" "You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?" "Yes, my love."

It was only supposed to be temporary - a punishment for having escaped yet again. It didn't matter that you had every intention of returning as soon as the sun began to poke over the horizon, you had still found yourself cornered in the streets by your darling. The look of anger in his eyes only dampened by his annoyance.

"It's like you don't even try to listen to me, dearest." He had hissed, crowding you back against a wall. "Tell me how I'm supposed to keep you safe when you insist on sneaking around and frolicking off to the worst parts of the city in the dead of night."

"I'm sorry." You dropped your gaze to the ground. "I just- get so bored sometimes…" Maybe if you blame yourself, your own poor impulse control, maybe that would satisfy him.

Instead he just laughed. A short, almost incredulous chuckle. "Oh, you're bored. I see, well of course that's all right then. By all means, throw yourself to the wolves then, my love. Since you're bored."

He grabbed your hands in his, muttering a quick spell, and you were home. You watched as he opened his eyes again and his shoulders relaxed. You were here and safe beside him again and he could breathe once more.

But still, "This was the fourth time in less than a month. What do I have to do to make you understand?" Astarion's grip on your hands tightened.

"You could just let me go…" You mumbled bitterly before you could think any better of it. The instant the words escaped your mouth you had regretted them.

His eyes darkened and he pulled you in closer. He brought one hand up to wrap around the back of your neck, holding you firmly in place. "We are not having this discussion again. You know you belong here."

"But if you would just let me out once in a while I wouldn't-"

"It only takes once, don't you get that?" He hissed, his fangs bared. "One person, just like me. Hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike. Do you understand how high profile you are? Do you not see other nobility out with their guards? They don't prowl the dingiest taverns they can find for good reason, my love."

"I can handle myself!" You snapped back. He was already angry, you were already screwed, how much worse could you possibly make it?

You watched countless emotions fly across his face before irritation settled. Truthfully, not the worst possibility. "I know that you're strong and capable. But it's been years since either of us have lived that kind of life. Those skills don't just stay sharp, you know that. You can hold your own against one, maybe two people. But what happens when you're surrounded? And you're alone, I don't know where you are, I can't help you. Do you not understand that I'm trying to protect you?" He spoke, almost as though he was trying to rationalize with a child.

In his defense you did huff like one. "So I'm meant to stay locked up here forever because you're afraid?" That was the wrong word to choose. The annoyed look fell into anger as he pulled you in even tighter.

"Yes." It was short and filled with a venom that shot a wave of fear down your spine. He so rarely called on his ability to compel you, but you felt the sensation begin to creep at the back of your mind. It felt like a spider climbing up your brain stem to weave it's web inside your skull.

"Astarion, please don't-"

"You are going to watch and listen. Do you understand? You are going to learn what is expected of you. And until you have, you will be obedient and silent. Am I clear, my darling?"

"Yes, my love." Were the words that came out of your mouth. They certainly weren't the ones you were intending, though. What do you mean? What are you talking about? What are you doing? All questions that were desperately trying to escape, but none came.

His face softened as he pulled his hand away from your neck to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with a gentle smile. "There we are. I love you, you know? So much. I just… I don't know what I'd do without you."

~*~*~

For something you found so horrifying, Astarion was remarkably calm about what he'd done to you. "As irritating and, honestly, pathetic as he was, Gortash did manage to strike me with a touch of inspiration." He had explained as you helplessly smiled back at him.

"The magic he used against his parents was… clever, I'll say. It was terribly cruel of him to leave them like that, trapped in their own minds forever. You have to understand, that's not what I'm doing." He looked so sad, suddenly. He grabbed your hand in both of his and held tight and you felt your face drop to match his emotions.

"I love you. Please, trust me. You don't know this life like I do. You're so- so kind. So trusting and wonderful and lovely. And it's going to get you killed. This is only temporary. I can keep you safe like this while you learn what you need to. This life is politics and swindling and scheming. It's not heroics and good deeds. One day- one day I swear we'll go back but for now this is what must be done. Please just… just trust that I know what I'm doing. And that I love you."

You felt the cobwebs clear for a moment, brushed aside to give you a chance to speak again. He was giving you a choice, though you weren't entirely sure what either outcome was meant to be. You did trust him though, you loved him. And maybe he was right. You had no idea really what the life of this caliber was like. He had been of nobility his entire life. "I trust you."

You felt the cobwebs fill your head again as he smiled, so gently, so sweetly. So why did it make your stomach turn?

~*~*~

He never gave you any sort of timeline. You had expected it to take a few months though. He was training you, shaping you into the perfect little accessory to attach to his hip. It wasn't always horrible, especially at first when he would clear the cobwebs away at night to discuss how you were feeling and what you were learning.

It did feel a bit demeaning. He was your partner not your mother, after all. But you could tell how relaxed he was now that he wasn't worrying about you so much. And it was always easier to learn by doing, even if it wasn't technically you doing anything.

Still, you saw the way you responded to other nobles when they asked you things you had no clue about. Truthfully, you found yourself hoping Astarion might just do this for every big event you went to. The idea of trying to remember all of these names and titles and schemes was daunting. It'd be easier to keep him happy if he was practically speaking through you and it took a huge pressure off your shoulders.

It was when the people left that you began to have a problem. Even when it was just the two of you alone. He allowed the compulsion to drop less and less frequently. Some days you wondered if he'd forgotten it was there at all. You hated when he would spend his time talking with this fake perfect version of you.

Jealousy. It must be. And you felt so stupid for it too. It was still you, your voice and body. And, honestly, half the time the responses this fake you gave were the exact same ones you would've given anyway. So what did it matter so much?

It was frustrating not being able to control your own body. You missed being able to reach out and grab his hand whenever you wanted. There were a lot of things you missed. Most things, actually.

You missed kissing him. It's not that he didn't kiss you like this, or that you couldn't feel it. When he kissed you it just felt awful. Your stomach would churn and all you wanted to do was pull away. You honestly didn't even feel that terrible the time he had forgotten you were in there while you had sex. (Something he had apologized for profusely, long after you'd forgiven him.)

But the kisses were so tender and sweet and they were for someone who wasn't you. It was this fake you that he made for himself and you just couldn't stand it. Next time he dusted you off, you had made up your mind to ask him to stop.

If only you'd made that decision a touch sooner. It had already been over a week since you were last freed from your compulsion. As the days ticked by, you grew less and less confident that you would get the chance to ask.

It has been months already. You weren't entirely sure, but it must've been closing in on a year since he'd first started this project. It didn't feel like it but it was winter again so it must've been.

You kept hoping, every night when you went to bed you silently begged Astarion to hear you again, to let you out of your mind. He never seemed to hear you. Instead he would pepper you in kisses and speak to you like nothing was different.

Weeks turned to months. Every day that went by without being in control of your own body was beginning to take a toll on your mind.

Astarion's touch became less and less welcome until you wanted to shriek and tear at your own skin every time you felt him near you. You screamed and begged and agonized, hoping that if you could just yell loud enough maybe he would hear you.

He had forgotten about you. You became more and more certain with every evening spent on your back for him now. The first time he'd used you like that he was devastated. The idea that he'd had a change of heart was somehow even more crushing than being forgotten. You couldn't entertain that idea.

It made more sense that he'd forgotten you anyway. It had been so long, he'd gotten so used to you like this. He couldn't hear you screaming and thrashing inside your head. And when you were alone, he truly hadn't changed that much about you. Perhaps some of the comments you made were a touch closer to something he would say, but that really only served to push the real you further from his mind.

You had to accept it. You were trapped in your own mind, helpless against the man you adored. You were angry and frightened and so, so desperate to be free. It ached in your chest every time words that weren't yours escaped your lips. You raged every time you felt his touch on your skin. His kiss left you longing to tear out your hair and shriek until your throat burned.

You were truly, utterly helpless.

~*~*~

It was summer now. You were pretty sure, anyway. It was a bit hard to tell exactly when spring ended and summer began when you never saw the sun.

Astarion was hosting a rather large event that evening. You weren't entirely sure what it was for or why. You had stopped bothering to pay attention to these things once you realized it was no longer about learning how to engage with high brow politics. The you that had control would handle it anyway.

You were dressed in a lovely ball gown, a favorite of Astarion's. He liked the wide hoop skirt, it kept people from getting too close to you.

It was like any other stupid high end party. Food that was so decadent and rich you could barely eat any of it. Most of it would be thrown away. What a waste. One of the few thoughts you had as you essentially dissociated through the party.

Your body picked up a small hors d'oeuvre, delicately biting the bite sized snack in two. It was far too unbecoming to pop the entire thing into your mouth, despite it being shaped for exactly that.

"Any good?" A voice from behind you startled you and your false self out of your tiny food related thoughts.

The fake you recognized him first, as your mind still tried to bring the world back into focus. You felt yourself lunge forward, hoop skirt be damned, as you threw your arms around the person in front of you now. Somewhere in the back of your mind you found it extremely strange that fake you would be allowed to do such a thing.

When you finally pulled back, you were present enough to see who you were hugging and it, truthfully, made even less sense. "Gale!" You heard yourself as you bounced excitedly on the balls of your feet. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, it's a big event isn't it?" He grinned, patting you on the shoulder. "Should the famed Wizard of Waterdeep not receive such an illustrious invitation?" He laughed, taking a small step towards the food table. "No, Wyll was invited. He brought Karlach as a plus one. She told me and I pestered Astarion to invite the rest of us. He didn't tell you?"

That sounded about right. You couldn't help laughing. Gods you'd missed them all. "He didn't, but everyone else is here too?"

"Well, no. I got them an invite, that's the best I could do. Shadowheart and Halsin are around here somewhere. Who knows about anyone else." He said, filling up a plate with tiny snacks. A small part of you was happy at least someone was eating like a normal person.

"Come on then, and fill a plate for Karlach would you? I said I'd bring them all back something." Gale smiled back at you as he began filling another plate, presumably for Wyll.

"Have you seen Astarion yet?" Oh, that was a good question actually. At least fake you was thinking about your love.

Gale nodded, picking up the second plate. "He met us when we first got here. Honestly, I expected you to be with him. Barely had a moment to talk, though, before he got pulled away."

"Precisely why I'm not with him." You laughed, picking up the plate you'd made for Karlach. "An event like this is going to have him pulled twenty directions. I'm supposed to stay over here to watch over things but-" But? Fake you didn't argue with buts. How strange. The power of friendship perhaps? Or Astarion's attention being so split with such a large event was allowing even the perfect version of you he hand crafted to slip through the cracks. Either way, you weren't arguing. "Well, it'll be fine to slip away for a moment." Strange.

You followed Gale back to where Wyll and Karlach were standing just a bit too close as they chatted. They were both dressed to the nines, Wyll in a well fitted suit with a short, ornamental cape draped over one shoulder. Karlach was putting him to shame though, in a floor length strapless dress with a slit that traveled halfway up her thigh. You'd never taken Karlach for a dress person and, watching the way she awkwardly moved in it, you'd assume you were right. That didn't stop anyone with eyes from stopping and staring as she walked by. You even found your own gaze lingering a bit too long. Very strange.

"Hey, soldier!" Her voice rang out loud and clear as soon as she spotted you. Before you knew it, you were wrapped in her arms and lifted off the floor with ease. You couldn't help laughing as you carefully tried to keep the plate of food balanced.

Your skirt swished back into place as she set you down, beaming at you. "It's been way too long. Just because you can't go out in the sun doesn't mean Astarion has to lock you away in the dungeon." She laughed again. If only she knew.

"I was surprised I even got an invite." Wyll chuckled, stepping closer. "I don't play his political games, but I'm happy to enjoy some good food with some old friends." Gods he was so sweet. If you didn't know just how genuinely he meant it, you wouldn't trust him.

"Well, I'm certainly happy to see all of you!" It's been so lonely cooped up in here, I've missed you so much. Your lungs longed to scream out to them, to beg them for help.

It was enough they'd taken you away from your post, you knew it was too much to ask for your voice to break through as well. It didn't stop you from wishing with your whole heart for your friends to hear you.

Instead, you had a pleasant conversation about what they've all been up to. Stories of the adventures Karlach and Wyll had been on, an anecdote about Tara that made everyone laugh. Halsin and, later, Shadowheart found their way into the circle, bringing their own stories. It would've been lovely were you not begging to be heard.

Karlach noticed first, of course she did. You saw it happen. You weren't sure what did it exactly but, as you were speaking, you saw her brow knit together. She watched you a bit closer. Fake you must've noticed as well, you felt yourself straighten up a bit more, talk a bit gentler.

It wasn't enough, she'd clocked something and now she was watching. The conversation shifted away from you but her gaze lingered. The you in control longed for her to look away, while the real you screamed for her attention. I'm here, please see me, gods please hear me!

You felt her watching you for at least ten minutes before she leaned in to whisper something to Gale. Oh gods, now he was watching you like a hawk. They both knew something was wrong but they couldn't tell what.

If you hadn't been watching them, you would've missed the small hand gesture and whispered incantation from the wizard. You didn't feel anything but clearly he didn't get what he wanted.

Then you felt it. A small tingling sensation in your head then, suddenly, it was as though the doors to your mind had been thrown open and you felt yourself recoil as though sunlight was pouring in. He was digging into your thoughts.

"Gale!?" You called out desperately in your head, watching as he blinked in shock. The gentle, practiced smile that remained stuck on your face completely opposed to the desperation he heard in your voice.

"Are you all right?" He asked, out loud, much to everyone else's confusion. Particularly Halsin's, who had been actively speaking when Gale interrupted.

"Gale, please! You can hear me?" Your mind screamed.

"Oh, me? Oh, I'm fine." Your mouth replied.

"I can hear you. What's going on?" Gale pressed forward, ignoring the questioning looks he received.

"Um, Gale-" Wyll had started but the wizard was disinterested in interrupting whatever connection he had with you right now.

"Gale, gods, Gale." What could you even say? You had to say something. But how could you explain this? You knew they all disapproved of the way Astarion kept you squirreled away but they never argued because you were both happy and it really wasn't exactly their business. But this? This was different. This was… well. Fucked up.

He was smart though. It didn't exactly take much to put two and two together. Two different answers, two different versions of his dear friend. "What happened? Does Astarion know about this?"

You would've flinched had you been in control of your body. "Really, Gale, I'm all right, I'm not sure what you're talking about." You still smiled warmly.

"He- he's the one who did this but-!" You panicked as you watched a darkness take over Gale's face.

"Okay, does anyone know what's going on right now?" Wyll tried to interject again, only to be met with a misdirected scowl from Gale.

"It would seem our resident vampire lord has gone a bit too far." He practically spat. He had never been overly fond of your relationship in the first place. You were never sure but Astarion was certain it was jealousy - partially why you were so surprised to see Gale had been invited at all.

"Use your words, Elminster." Karlach folded her arms, already impatient to know what was happening.

Gale turned back to you as his anger turned towards sadness. "I don't know how, but he's puppeting them. This-" He waved a hand at your calm, relaxed smile. "This is all fake. I can hear them, they're trapped in there."

"Gale, please, don't get angry, please." You were trying to do damage control now. You didn't want this to break bad for Astarion, you just wanted to be let out. "I- I just think he might've forgotten me, if you just-"

"Forgot you!? What do you mean forgot you? How long have you been in there?"

"Gale! Please don't cause a fuss, please. This- this doesn't have to affect the night. He just needs a reminder, that's all, it's all right."

"How long."

"I… I don't know. Over a year…" You knew saying that would be a bad idea. The rage took over his face again, while the rest of your companions watched with varying levels of confusion.

"Over a year." His voice was flat, his typical affectations and charming cadence gone. "Would someone be so kind as to request the presence of Lord Ancunín? I think we need to have quite the conversation."

#bg3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion #sorry fkdjskdjdkfhsl

200 notes · View notes

drakaripykiros130ac · 7 months

Text

Fact: Rhaenyra is the most competent, out of all of Viserys’ children, to rule

Putting aside all legality and morality, it is also clear as day that Rhaenyra is the only one out of all of Viserys’ children who is capable of ruling.

As for her half-siblings:

1. Aegon: spent his entire life drinking, r*ping women and bullying his brother. Otto practically ordered Alicent to prepare him to rule. How exactly has she done that? The only contribution from her was instilling hatred in him for his half-sister and her children.

Aegon himself admitted that he is not suited to wear the crown. He clearly detests responsibility and he is not very intelligent either, not to mention extremely immature. He doesn’t have even an ounce of political training, the smallfolk are not very fond of him, he never sat in on any Council meetings and even now, with the crown on his head, his mother and grandfather are doing the thinking for him. Completely unfit to rule.

2. Helaena: not much needed to be said. The poor dear is lost in her dreams and is clearly incapable of thinking rationally. I am convinced she doesn’t even comprehend that a crown was put on her head. Although the smallfolk like her, she lacks strength, rational thinking and any sort of training. Completly unfit to rule.

3. Aemond: he is impulsive and violent (I believe he is an even worse version of Daemon). Aemond as King would definitely be Maegor 2.0. While he is a skilled warrior and passionate of history, he lacks diplomatic finesse and compassion, not to mention any sort of political training. He makes a fine knight, if kept under control by someone, but can’t be given ultimate power to decide anything in relation to the Realm. And from what I read in the book, aside from his cruelty towards innocent smallfolk, he is also incapable of accepting any kind of rational council. Anyone who disagrees with him would instantly meet the sword or Vhagar. Bottom line: Aemond is a warrior, not a king. Completely unfit to rule.

4. Daeron: haven’t seen him in the show up until now, since he has been raised in Oldtown. Based on the book, he is definitely nicer than his brothers. But he does end up torturing and burning a whole village of innocent people alive simply because they choose to support Rhaenyra. He may have more redeeming qualities than his brothers, but he can be just as cruel and unforgiving, he is young and inexperienced and he has spent his whole life away from Court, so has zero training. Completely unfit to rule.

Rhaenyra has been her father’s cupbearer from a very young age and has learned a lot about the Realm, the beliefs of the Great Houses and politicking. Once she became of age, she sat in on the Small Council Meetings as the Heir to the Throne and actually expressed rational thoughts on important matters.

She is loved by the Smallfolk, married to Daemon (who is himself beloved and nicknamed Prince of the City), is intelligent, rational, compassionate, diplomatic, patient, trained in matters of politics and is the only one of Viserys’ children who actually honors and respects the interests of House Targaryen.

WINNER: Queen Rhaenyra 🖤

#house of the dragon #team black #queen rhaenyra #pro team black #pro rhaenyra #rhaenyra targaryen #anti alicent hightower #daemon targaryen #anti otto hightower #anti greens #hotd daemon #black queen #anti team green #anti aegon ii targaryen #anti aemond targaryen #anti green stans #house of the dragon season 2

192 notes · View notes

commsroom · 2 months

Text

it's always kinda been a headcanon of mine that the way hera operates the hephaestus - how she thinks, how she keeps track of and organizes and prioritizes tasks, how she executes those tasks, the way she files information, etc. - is highly unusual and would be impossible to parse for another AI. the equivalent of an 'organized chaos' workspace where it looks like a complete mess, and a lot of the steps she takes are convoluted and unintuitive, but she knows where it all is and can't find it if it's even slightly rearranged.

like, the fact she's deemed "flighty and mercurial [with] poor impulse control" while also having "record response times, unique problem-solving abilities, and highly original thought patterns" is such an interesting and significant part of her character. hera is smart, and she's creative, but she isn't smart in a way that can be standardized and made useful by goddard. and that's why she wouldn't have survived, if cutter hadn't needed to put together a functionally disposable crew. with regards to neurodivergence, i think there's something to be said about differing types of intelligence in a society that only values a certain kind of productivity and compliance.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #like i think it's far more interesting that she's not really 'top of the class'#if anything she's kind of dead last. the one who just barely made it by 'exceptional circumstances'#i think hera could test well if she had the chance to practice and figure out the patterns and how to game the system #but without that context i think she was probably bad at standardized tests because she overthought and focused on the 'wrong' things.

101 notes · View notes

linisiane · 1 year

Text

I’ve seen that post on here that’s like “What did they put in this game to make us all Like That,” and I think we’re all Like That about Disco Elysium bc we’re all hyperfixating on it because it surprisingly speaks to the chaos of living with ADHD. And we SEE that and feel seen.

- First of all, Harry Du Bois Adhd headcanons pop off hard, especially with the whole “I do speed to do detective work,” aka I need stimulants to focus, aka unintentional self-medication. Also the poor impulse control, emotional disregulation. And the voices remind me of the way my brain jumps topic to topic so I have like 4 ongoing topics going at once. Stereo investigations, thoughts in the thought cabinet, if you will.

- Additionally, a lot of interactions surrounding Harry’s memory loss even feel very ADHD. ADHD is a problem with working memory (attention/focus), which cascades into causing problems with encoding memories for long term storage. You can’t remember what you never even focused on. Because of this, being forgetful of things that seemed basic or obvious or easy to remember for other people is a staple problem for people with ADHD, and while the game is obviously much more extreme with total retrograde amnesia, I find that the game’s demonstration of “the people being frustrated or confused by basic things you’ve forgotten or misplaced” (and this being taken seriously as a Big Issue affecting your life, even if the others don’t take it seriously/brush it off) is very relatable and almost cathartic. Even if the only reason why it’s taken so seriously in the game is because you’ve just literally lost all your memory… and your gun lol

- Harry doing buck wild things to get results based on the conversations going on inside his head, which don’t get read to the outside world, is very relatable. Again, my brain jumps topic to topic so much that it’s almost hard to track the logical thread connecting the thoughts internally, much less explain them to another person at the same time. The “how did we get here, what exactly brought you to this course of action? This seems unrelated, detective” is very much a conversation I experience on the daily, whether with myself or the people around me.

- Kim Kitsuragi is the ADHD fantasy. @snowberry-pie’s got in one. He’s perfect for fighting off that executive dysfunction by helping you actually get shit done while not being suffocating/controlling/shaming about it. He sorta takes responsibility of you to help you take responsibility of yourself. He’s a body double, your partner in it with you. Lets you go on your barely related stereo investigations and indulges your inexplicable actions instead of controlling you, trusting that it’s part of the process lol. Offers positive reinforcement instead of using shame (like calling Harry a burden) to get Harry to focus on the case.

Disco Elysium has lots to say about how disability is exacerbated/unsupported by the system for a lot of characters, including Harry. Adhd fits right into that, especially with the ways an ADHD!Harry interpretation would highlight the understandable nature of his drug addiction (not only was it a way to cope with chronic pain that no one was treating him for, but also a way to cope with unmedicated ADHD).

Anyways I wrote this instead of writing my paper.

#my thoughts #adhd #harry du bois #harrier du bois #disco elysium #de #“Perseveration” officer? How about we “persevere” in writing that paper?#Kim being like “you lost your memory? You still gotta do your job tho” is me to myself everyday. ಥ_ಥ #Shout out to the opening scene of eeaao for also capturing the experience of living with ADHD subtle-ly #meta #metas #kim kitsuragi #literary analysis

463 notes · View notes

unclewaynemunson · 7 months

Text

The edancy siblings saga continues! | AO3 link

So, in case it hasn't been made absolutely clear yet: Eddie is not a stalker. He is not stalking Karen and Nancy Wheeler. That is not what's happening here. Seriously. They just... appear wherever he goes, lately. Like on the other side of a window when he's in town with Jeff, headed to the record store to spend their Saturday morning listening to the newly released Motörhead album.

It happens before he really knows what he's doing. He can't even help it, he's just like that sometimes: he'll panic and make dumb decisions as a consequence. It's not even a real decision, this time; blame it on his poor impulse control. He's nothing but an unwilling participant in this situation.

'Eddie, no,' Jeff quietly protests.

Eddie, yes, Eddie's brain loudly counters.

'We're having brunch here whether you want it or not,' he blurts out while pressing the menu in Jeff's hand.

He doesn't think he has ever had brunch in his life – unless having a coffee and a cigarette with Wayne at 12pm on a Saturday counts.

But here he is, about to have brunch in some fancy way-too-expensive looking cafe because he saw a mother and her daughter through a window and his own feet decided to disconnect from his brain and take matters into their own hands. Or rather into their own feet. Or, well, not their feet, his feet don't have feet, that'd be weird as fuck.

Anyway. Apparently he and Jeff are about to have brunch together, with Karen and Nancy Wheeler perfectly lined up in Eddie's vision.

It's a place where neither Eddie nor Jeff would want to be found dead under any normal circumstances. The interior consists of various shades of pink and beige, there are plastic flowers and pink napkins on every table, and the menu on the wall is written in letters so curly that they're barely even readable. The whole place is filled with people from places like Loch Nora and Maple Street, wearing expensive clothes and with even more expensive handbags on the floor next to their chairs. A group of giggling girls that Eddie recognizes as sophomore cheerleaders is sitting in one corner, an old lady with a bunch of blonde nieces or grandchildren in another one, and spread out across the room are countless couples that are all made up of women looking like they just walked out of a copy machine matched with equally bland and bored looking men in button-up shirts. And, among those people, right behind Jeff's shoulder, the woman and the girl who Eddie is very much not stalking.

'What the hell are we doing here, man?' Jeff hisses under his breath. Eddie doesn't quite know who, between the two of them, looks more out of place in here: the trailer park metalhead or the black nerd in the Star Wars shirt.

'Having brunch,' Eddie states, like it's not only obvious but also a perfectly normal thing for them to do. He's not really looking at Jeff, but rather staring right over his friend's shoulder. He tries to imagine himself somewhere at that table; it conjures a truly laughable image in his head.

Jeff is right: what the hell is he doing here? He keeps finding himself on the fringe of a life that will never be his anyway.

'Eddie?'

It sounds worried; Eddie rapidly blinks a few times to get himself back to earth, back to his own table. The one he's sharing with Jeff, who looks at him like he's afraid that Eddie will tell him he has some incurable illness and will die a tragic death within weeks.

'You wanna tell me what's going on?'

But before Eddie can even begin to answer that, they're interrupted by a woman in a pink apron who looks at them from behind her glasses like she's ready to call the cops on them.

'Would you boys like to order something?' she asks in a tone that doesn't conceal very well how desperately she wants the answer to be no.

'Just a coffee, please, ma'am,' Jeff says, at the exact same time Eddie tells her they'll both have 'The brunch special, please, with extra scrambled eggs and bacon.'

He can barely suppress a yelp when Jeff kicks him underneath the table.

The waitress shoots an annoyed, yet slightly helpless, look back and forth between the two boys.

Eddie gives Jeff a pigheaded glance and repeats his order with emphasis.

'What the hell is this all about?' Jeff hisses at him as soon as the waitress has her back turned to them. 'I know you don't have the money for that, I'm not gonna pay for this huge fucking breakfast, dude!'

Eddie widens his eyes while pushing his lower lip forward, causing Jeff to give him another painful kick against his shin – but also to sigh with his head in his hands, which Eddie immediately recognizes as the ultimate sign of defeat.

'Okay, then. But only if you tell me why the hell we're here.'

Almost subconsciously, Eddie brings his hand up to his mouth and starts gnawing at his already chewed-off fingernails. His curls have finally reached shoulder-length, and he likes the way he can hide behind his hair now.

The thing is, he has never talked about this with anyone ever before. He doesn't know if he can. It's not even like he believes he owes Karen Wheeler any of her secrets; of course he doesn't. He simply feels like it's too big to talk about. He cannot foresee the consequences of letting the truth out. Right now, it's just this thing constantly simmering right beneath the surface of his brain; if he actually talks about it with someone, it will undoubtedly become much, much more than that. It'll become something real – something ugly.

Apparently, Jeff catches him staring, because he turns around in his seat to look over his shoulder.

When he whips his head back, his eyes are wide and his mouth is slightly agape.

'Dude,' he says, slowly. 'You can only deny it so many times; you do have a crush on Nancy Wheeler!'

Eddie groans and buries his head in his hands.

'Oh my God, please never say that ever again.'

'Holy fuck.' Something resembling malicious glee is coloring Jeff's voice. 'You totally–'

'I said,' Eddie emphatically hisses at him between clenched teeth, 'never say that again.'

'Dude, you should totally ask her out! I'd give you a two percent chance she says yes, but if the gods are willing to grant us that miracle, it'll give me a chance to get closer to Barbara! You should–'

Eddie can't take it any more, not one word of this. He has to put a stop to this right now.

'Remember how I told you I never knew who my mother is?' he blurts out, the words stringing together too fast and his voice slightly too high.

Jeff's face instantly changes into one big question mark.

'Look at her – at Nancy,' Eddie tells him in a hushed voice. 'And at Mrs. Wheeler.'

Jeff dares another glance over his shoulder. Nancy and her mother don't seem to notice a thing about the two metalheads three tables away from them. They're caught up in what looks like a nice and easygoing conversation, full of smiles while they're sipping from large glasses filled with ginger tea.

'Now look at me.'

Jeff looks at Eddie for a full five seconds, neither of them saying a word.

'Dude...' Jeff finally all but whispers. 'Are you saying what I think you're saying?'

Before Eddie can even do so much as nod, the waitress appears out of thin air next to them and ungracefully dumps two huge plates filled with a whole arrangement of breakfast foods on their table.

'Nooooo,' is all Jeff says after the waitress has disappeared, his voice dropped down to a conspiring whispering volume. He stretches out the single syllable into eternity. 'No way. Mrs. Wheeler?! How the fuck is that even possible? Are you, like, sure about it?'

Eddie nods. 'Wayne told me,' he confesses. 'Back when my dad got locked up and I came to live with him. He was the only one who knew. Thought he owed it to me to tell me the truth.'

'Jesus Christ,' Jeff says in-between two huge bites from a croissant that's crumbling all over his lap.

'I know, right,' Eddie murmurs.

'So are we like... Watching them?' he asks with a raised brow. 'You do this often?'

'No, man!' Eddie quickly ensures him. 'Not, like, actively, at least,' he adds, feeling a bit embarrassed. He shoves some more eggs into his mouth to buy himself some more time.

'I dunno why I seem to enjoy hurting myself so much,' he finally explains when his mouth is empty again. 'Whenever I see any of 'em, I just... Can't seem to look away. And I can't help but wonder what it would've been like if she'd made another decision eighteen years ago. I know it's ridiculous, because if she had, Ted Wheeler would never have married her, so those three kids wouldn't even have existed, and it would've been me and her against the world or some bullshit.' He sighs again. 'I know it doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm dwelling on things that aren't even real.'

When he looks up from his toast, he sees Jeff giving him this look that kinda makes him regret sharing anything. He doesn't want to be pitied, for fuck's sake.

'Nah, I get it more than you think, man,' Jeff says quietly. 'I always think about what it would be like if my dad was still here, y'know. It's not just the big moments, when people tell me he'd be proud of me or some shit like that. It's especially in the little moments. The everyday kinda shit. I wonder if he'd have shared music with me, if he'd read the same books as I do, if he'd ever help my mom go grocery shopping, what it would be like if he helped me with my homework... It's only natural that you do that, I think. Maybe we all do it, to a certain extent; rewrite history a little bit in our heads.' He gives Eddie a tight, sad smile.

'It's probably even worse for you,' he continues. 'I only see my dad in pictures and I still miss him like hell every single day. But at least I still have my mom to tell the coolest stories about him. I have a grave where I get to mourn him properly. We have all those made-up rituals to commemorate him together. But you – you got none of that. You only got questions that got answered with more questions. And you get to see your mother and your siblings walk around town all the time, knowing that they have no clue who you are.'

Eddie keeps his gaze focused on the crumbs on the table to prevent himself from showing any emotions he doesn't want to show. Damn, what would he be without Jeff and his boundless amounts of wisdom?

'Wait, does she know?' Jeff suddenly asks.

When Eddie looks up, he sees a frown on Jeff's face, like he's worried about something.

'I don't think so,' he answers. 'I ran into her at Melvald's once. Tried to talk to her, just to see what'd happen. Made a complete fool of myself, of course. It was embarrassing as shit, but at least I can be pretty sure she thought I was just some random lunatic.' He sighs. 'But I'll never be entirely sure.'

Three tables over, the Wheeler ladies have finished their tea and are getting up from their seats.

'You're right, it was stupid going here,' Eddie mumbles.

'It's okay, man,' Jeff says, still in that soft voice filled with understanding. 'The food's pretty amazing. We still got plenty of time to go to the record store when we're done with this. Speaking of which... I bet you fifteen dollars to buy Another perfect day that you can't finish your plate before me.'

Eddie stares at him blankly. 'I don't have fifteen dollars.'

Jeff's face breaks out in a wicked grin. 'Well, in that case you better buckle up and finish your eggs real soon, Munson.'

It doesn't entirely take Eddie's mind off the Wheelers, but he appreciates the gesture so he grins and starts viciously attacking a bunch of sausages. And when he spares a glance towards the bar to see the horrified look on the waitress' face, he finds himself unable to hold in his laughter.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #the edancy siblings saga continues #and more of jeff x eddie friendship bc they mean everything to me at this point <3 #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #karen wheeler #jeff stranger things #stranger things #fanfic #fruity ficlet

181 notes · View notes

truevedicastrology · 2 years

Text

Having Mars in each house 1-12

Note: This post is intended for Vedic Astrology. Mars is only one planet in one house within your chart. This means you will still have to see your chart in full to know the complete effects of Mars and what it can do. This is a general overview of Mars in each house. Thank you for viewing and please do consider following me to see future post :) If you have any questions dm me!

#1 Mars in the first house

Mars is the planet of war and aggression. It is associated with the signs of Aries, Scorpio and Leo. It is believed that people with Mars in the first house of their astrology chart are more inclined to be aggressive and violent. This is often seen as a negative trait, but it can also be a source of great strength and power.

There are pros and cons to having Mars in the first house in astrology. On the plus side, Mars is the planet of energy, action, and assertion, so having it in the first house can give you a lot of drive and motivation. You're likely to be a go-getter who's always ready to take on new challenges. You're also likely to have a strong sense of self and be very independent. On the downside, Mars can also be a very aggressive and impulsive planet, so you may find yourself acting impulsively and without thinking things through at times. You may also come across as being too forceful or assertive, and you may have trouble backing down from a challenge. But overall, having Mars in the first house is a good thing, as it gives you the energy and drive to go after what you want in life.

#2 Mars in the second house

When Mars is in the second house, it brings an active and assertive energy to your finances and possessions. You may find yourself taking more risks in your business ventures, or you may simply be more aware of the value of what you have. Either way, Mars in the second house is all about asserting your own worth and making your own way in the world.

There are both pros and cons to having Mars in the second house in astrology. On the positive side, this placement can indicate a strong ability to earn money and accumulate material possessions. Mars in the second house can also signify a forceful and determined personality, which can be a great asset in achieving one's goals. However, there can also be a downside to this placement. Mars in the second house can sometimes indicate a person who is overly aggressive and competitive, which can lead to conflict and problems in relationships. Additionally, this placement can also indicate a person who is very impulsive and impetuous, which can lead to financial difficulties.

#3 Mars in the third house

Having Mars in the third house in astrology means that you are assertive and have a lot of energy. You are also very curious and like to learn new things. You are quick to react and can be quite impulsive. You are also independent and like to be in control of your own life.

When it comes to astrology, there are a lot of different opinions on what Mars in the third house means. Some believe that it is a good thing, while others believe that it can be a bit of a mixed blessing. Here, we will take a look at some of the pros and cons of having Mars in the third house, so that you can make up your own mind about what it means for you. One of the biggest pros of having Mars in the third house is that it can give you a lot of energy and drive. You are likely to be very ambitious and always striving to reach your goals. You are also likely to be very independent and able to think for yourself. This can be a great asset, both in your personal and professional life. However, there are also some potential downsides to having Mars in the third house. One of these is that you can be quite impulsive and rash. You may find yourself acting on impulse more often than you would like, which can lead to making some poor decisions. You may also find yourself being more argumentative than you would like, as you can be quite headstrong and opinionated. Overall, Mars in the third house can be either a good or a bad thing, depending on how you use its energy. If you can channel it into positive endeavors, it can be a great asset. However, if you let it get the best of you, it can lead to some problems.

#4 Mars in the fourth house

When it comes to astrology, Mars in the fourth house is said to indicate a strong influence from the home planet. This can manifest in a number of ways, from a strong sense of patriotism to a love of all things domestic. Fourth house Mars people are often fiercely independent, and they may have a combative streak when it comes to defending their home turf. This placement can also indicate a strong connection to the land, and fourth house Mars people may have a deep connection to their roots.

There are both pros and cons to having Mars in the fourth house in astrology. On the positive side, Mars in the fourth house indicates that the native is likely to be very independent and self-reliant. They are also likely to be very driven and ambitious, with a strong sense of purpose. On the downside, Mars in the fourth house can indicate that the native is likely to be very aggressive and impatient. They may also have a lot of anger and resentment, which can lead to conflict in their personal relationships.

#5 Mars in the fifth house

Mars in the fifth house in astrology can indicate that you have a fiery spirit, an impulsive nature, and a quick temper. This placement can also signify that you are competitive and ambitious. You may be drawn to activities that will stir up conflict or challenge you, such as athletics or competitive work. Because of your impulsiveness and strong passions, you may also be prone to making decisions without fully thinking through the consequences.

There are many pros and cons of having Mars in the fifth house in astrology. On the positive side, Mars indicates energy and drive, and can help you be more assertive and focused in your pursuits. This can be helpful in careers or in your daily life. Additionally, Mars in the fifth house can also indicate a strong sense of sexuality and passion, which can be beneficial in relationships. However, there are also some potential drawbacks to having Mars in the fifth house. For example, if your Mars is in a negative sign, such as Scorpio or Leo, this can lead to anger and conflict. Additionally, if your Mars is in a sign that is associated with violence, such as Aries or Sagittarius, this can lead to dangerous or destructive behaviors. So, it is important to assess your individual situation to see what the potential pros and cons of having Mars in the fifth house are.

#6 Mars in the sixth house

Having Mars in the sixth house in astrology means that the planet of energy and action is located in the house of work and service. This can indicate that the individual is someone who is very driven and always working hard to achieve their goals. They may also have a strong sense of duty and responsibility, and be very helpful and supportive of others.

There are both pros and cons to having Mars in the sixth house in astrology. On the plus side, this placement can give a person drive and ambition in their work life. They are often able to channel their energy into productive pursuits. Mars in the sixth house can also give a person a competitive edge, and they may find themselves excelling in fields that require physical or mental dexterity. On the downside, Mars in the sixth house can sometimes indicate a person who is overly competitive or aggressive in their work life. They may also have difficulty relaxing, and may find themselves constantly striving for perfection. This placement can also indicate a person who is prone to stress and anxiety.

#7 Mars in the seventh house

Mars in the seventh house can indicate that someone is very aggressive and confident in their abilities. They may be very ambitious and want to achieve the most in life. They may be very determined and aggressive in their pursuits, but this will come down to the level of maturity of the individual and other placements in their natal chart.

There are a few pros and cons to having Mars in the seventh house. On the plus side, it can indicate a strong will and determination, as well as a natural inclination towards leadership. This can be a great asset in any field, be it business, politics, or even personal relationships. Mars in the seventh house can also be a sign of impulsiveness, which can be both a benefit and a liability. However, if this impulsiveness is uncontrolled or directed in a negative way, it can lead to dangerous or destructive behavior. On the other hand, Mars in the seventh house can also lead to feelings of anger and frustration. If these passions are not channeled in a constructive way, they can lead to violence or other destructive actions. It is important to be aware of the potential consequences of having Mars in the seventh house, and to make sure that any impulses are managed wisely. You will need too look through other placements on your chart to see the full settings and effects of Mars in the 7th house, however, this does go for all other houses.

#8 Mars in the eighth house

When Mars is in the Eighth House, there is a sense of determination and focus. This is a time when you are driven to achieve your goals, and you are not afraid to work hard. You are also very determined in your relationships, and you are not shy about expressing your opinions. This can be a difficult time for you if you are not careful, as you can become very aggressive when you are determined to get what you want. However, if you can manage to stay calm and rational, this can be a very productive time for you.

There are pros and cons to having Mars in the eighth house in astrology. On the plus side, Mars can be a powerful motivator and help you to get things done. However, if Mars is in the eighth house too often, it can lead to anger and frustration. Additionally, if Mars is in the eighth house, it can make you more aggressive and impulsive and looking into your other placements and full chart will give you a much more better understanding of where you're at with the Mars in the 8th house.

#9 Mars in the ninth house

In astrology, the ninth house is associated with our feelings and emotions. This is the house of relationships, both personal and professional. When mars is in the ninth house, it suggests that you are attracted to power and authority figures. This can be a helpful trait in the workplace, but it can also be a source of underlying insecurity. When this house is strong, you can be extremely persuasive and determined. When it is weak, you can be prone to mood swings and obsessive behaviors.

There are both pros and cons to having Mars in the ninth house in astrology. On the positive side, this placement indicates a strong belief system and the ability to stand up for what you believe in. You are also likely to be well-educated and have a keen interest in philosophy and other higher-minded pursuits. On the downside, however, this placement can indicate a rebellious streak and a tendency to be argumentative. You may also find it difficult to stick to one belief system for long, as you are always questioning and searching for the truth.

#10 Mars in the tenth house

In astrology, Mars is the planet of action, energy, and assertiveness. When Mars is in the tenth house of a birth chart, it indicates that a person is likely to be ambitious, competitive, and driven to succeed. This placement of Mars can also indicate a strong interest in public affairs and a desire to make a mark on the world.

There are both pros and cons to having Mars in the tenth house of astrology. On the positive side, Mars in this position can indicate a strong drive to achieve one's goals. This can be a great asset in both one's professional and personal life. However, Mars in the tenth house can also indicate a tendency to be overly aggressive or competitive. This can sometimes lead to conflict with others.

#11 Mars in the eleventh house

In astrology, Mars is the planet of energy, action, and assertiveness. Mars in the eleventh house suggests that your energy and drive are focused on achieving your goals and working towards the greater good. You are likely to be a leader or pioneer in your field, and you are motivated by a desire to make a difference in the world. You are confident and always ready to take on new challenges, and you are not afraid to speak your mind or stand up for what you believe in. You are a loyal friend and an excellent team player, and you are always ready to lend a helping hand to those in need.

The pros of having Mars in the eleventh House are that it can bring about energy, passion and initiative. This can help people to be more physically active and to take action in their lives. It can also help them to be more assertive and to be more confident. The cons of having Mars in the eleventh House are that it can also bring about anger, aggression and impulsiveness. This can lead to problems with those around the person, as well as with their own physical health. It can also lead to problems with money, as well as with possessions.

#12 Mars in the twelfth house

Having Mars in the Twelfth House in your natal chart indicates that you are a passionate and determined individual who is not afraid to fight for what you believe in. You are a natural leader and are not afraid to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means taking on a challenge. You are also very creative and are always coming up with new ideas. This can lead to some successful and rewarding career paths, as well as some exciting and new relationships.

Some people might find that having Mars in the twelfth house can be a bit of a challenge, as this placement can often indicate issues with self-expression and self-confidence. Additionally, Mars in the twelfth house can sometimes make it difficult to take action in the world, as this placement can often indicate a preference for staying in the background. On the other hand, having Mars in the twelfth house can also be seen as a strength, as it can indicate a lot of passion and drive, as well as a strong sense of intuition. Additionally, this placement can often indicate a talent for healing and helping others.

2K notes · View notes

harukapologist · 5 months

Text

rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

#please excuse any inconsistencies or spelling mistakes its almost 5am ive been awake all night lmaooo #im open to discussion but pls be nice :(#im a relatively new milgram fan (got into it just when ILY MV came out—got hyperfixated oct/nov) so please inform me if I say anything wrong #i love haruka so so much aaugh #i will defend him till my last breath #milgram #sakurai haruka #milgram project #haruka sakurai #jay rambles bleh idk #should i even tag this #i feel so scared to share my thoughts on the milgram prisoners AAA i hope everything makes sense

137 notes · View notes