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bitchkay · 2 years

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Spoilers for... alot idk just alot, alot of different things, very vague non-specific but they're there

I need an actual list of how old the court of darkness characters are cus my brain is gonna eat itself

The age gaps are implied like, such and such is the same age as such and such, this character is older than that character, or what's his face and what's his face are close in age, things like that

I automatically assume these bitches are in their 20s so no older than 29, no younger than 20

But I tell you right now, some things do not add tf up🤨🤨

I feel like they only said Lou and mc were around the same age just so they can be like 'nah he's not an old man so yall can date dw'

Which gotta be a fucking lie cus apparently this bitch was the headmaster for the kings aswell so clearly this man is an old geezer💀💀

If we assume they're all the same age then shit is more complicated because who's older then who doesn't line up with their birth months

I think it's safe to assume Qelsum and Avari were the first to produce an heir to the throne, making Toa and Guy the oldest but if we assume they're all born in the same year that would make Guy the youngest cus this bitch born in November💀

Mc gotta be in her mid to late 20s if we assume shes been through college already. not that you cant be in college in your mid to late 20s but yk early twenties is considered 'college age' if you go to college after highschool yk

Thaumaturges live longer then regular humans so we can already throw away the idea that these bitches are in their 20s, they probably old asf and we ain't even know it

BUT-

A nice ripe age to start having kids is like mid to late twenties, not that you have to have kids in your twenties but health wise if you don't want complications in the future, and yk sometimes in stories the kings are like 'alright your old enough to breed someone... pick one.😐' and have an assortment of young women like this a goddamn candy shop so I dont know, but these bitches live longer than normal so they can full be 50 and popping out bare babies like a goddamn beehive

AINT NO FUCKING WAY THE HEADMASTER SO DAMN YOUNG NAH

it was actually the mcs familiar that said Lou was young like 'omg milady he looks like hes the same age as you' no the fuck he's not, that man gotta be fucking 60

Fuck a dilf, that man old enough to be a gilf💀💀

I bet the headmaster is like 70, the kings are in their 50s, and the consorts are like 23-30. Aging is like mad ambiguous so if the headmaster really is old asf I'm asking what his skin care routine is cus-

WHAT ABOUT GRAYSON OMG

GRAYSON DON'T HAVE MAGIC WHAT TF ARE MUNDANES LIFE EXPECTANCY

Yall-

What if Grayson is actually the youngest one out of everyone--

What if Grayson is actually mad young and everyone else with magic coursing through their veins just has a baby face cus the magic is keeping them youthful

Bro.

Look at Thoma, then look at Grayson.

What if Thoma is like 30 and Grayson is idk fucking 19 but Thoma has a baby face cus hes a thaumaturge and Grayson just ages faster cus hes not

...

I think I'm thinking way too hard about this--

No but let's talk-

Lynt and Roy are the same age, Rio is younger than Roy but somewhat close in age but closer to Sherry, apparently Rio has a bunch of siblings, like more than just Teto, Toa is older than Guy but relatively close in age, Guy and Aquia are close in age(or at least closer in age then they are to Zev) Toa and Lynt have to be relatively close in age cus didn't they know each other as kids, well I guess most of the princes knew eachother if not briefly as kids but I swear they're somewhat close, idk where Fenn or Lance fits in here but they're somewhere in between everyone, Lou essentially raised Dia so how old does that make Dia- How is Lou- listen I'm telling you Lou is an old geezer

What is the age gap between the consorts and the mc?!?!

Very off topic but I have the strange inkling that Lynt was conceived during birthdays sex.

#the math ain’t mathin #my brain😖😖#rio voleri #roy invidia #toa qelsum #fenn luxure #guy avari #lance ira #lynt akedia #zev avari #aquia avari #sherry invidia #headmaster lou #dia akedia #teto voleri #court of darkness #voltage inc #musing about age #slowly going insane

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toasnearlynakedghost · 1 year

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I think we should have lists of AU ideas of CoD. Like just for fun, this is a joke.

AUs of if the MC had actually physically fought one or more of the S rank princes in the prologue.

Menace MC AU because I’ve seen all lot of people talk about this as an AU.

MC gets turned into a child AU because a couple of the event stories have had this.

One or more or all of the consorts get turned into a child AU since I saw people talking about this

AUs where one of the CoD characters who doesn’t have a consort path yet has a consort path. Thoma, Violet, Sherry, Hawke, Dewi, Teto, Zev, Kieran, Hardie, Lunas.

In the prologue the MC’s eye are changed to red to make it look like she is from their world and from Avari. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to green instead to make her look like she was from Akedia. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to purple instead to make her look like she was from Luxure. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to blue instead to make her look like she was from Quelsum. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to yellow to make her look like she was from Invidia. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to grey to make her look like she was from Voleri. AU where MC’s eyes were changed to brown to make her look like she was from Ira.

AU of if the MC was a vegetarian. AU of if the MC was vegan. AU of if the MC had a food allergy. AU of if the MC was lactose intolerant. AU of if the MC was allergic to nuts. AU of if the MC was allergic to gluten.

AUs of if each player got to choose what kind of cat the MC’s cat familiar is. AU of if the MC’s familiar was a dog instead of a cat.

Pokémon AU where CoD has Pokémon

Mermaid AU where one or more or all of the consorts are mermen. Also if Violet was a mermaid because she’s gorgeous.

Centaur AU because lol why not I just made that up off the top of my head, where they are all centaurs.

AU where the MC is a cryptid. Or an AU where the MC is not a cryptid but pretends to be a cryptid. Whichever is funnier.

AU where Guy and Jasper are the same person with two forms/versions who talks to himself. Idea credit to @onedayimgonnasnap

AU where Roy is a yandere because I saw some people talking about this.

AU where Lou is a yandere because I saw some people talking about this.

Steampunk AU because a Nightmare Battle used this as a theme.

AU where Lance is a wolf man. AU where Lance is a werewolf. AU where Lance is a furry.

AU where Knight was raised by wolves. Idea credit to @bitchkay

AU of if Guy didn’t have a dragon familiar but could just turn into a dragon instead.

AU of if the consorts all had wings like they do when they’re in their Hallowed Eve/Halloween costumes.

AU where the MC is self aware she is in a romance game.

AU where one or more or all of the consorts are self aware they are in a romance game.

AU where they are in space in a sci fi setting because why not. AU where they are all pirates because why not. AU where they are all space pirates because why not this is a joke.

AU of if the MC was an alien.

AUs of if the MC and a consort or some of the consorts or all of the consorts visited Earth.

Spoilers AUs of consort paths:

AU of if at the end of Roy’s consort path he ran away but the MC didn’t catch up to him and he made it off the Isle of Colde.

AU of if at the end of Fenn’s path when the MC was in prison she just immediately told the Headmaster why she left with Fenn instead of sitting in prison for days thinking about it.

AU of if in Lynt’s consort path the MC really wasn’t romantically interested in him and didn’t fall in love with him so he just married Hannah and she was happy for them, friends with them. AU of if then she dates Tino instead.

AU of what if Idina died.

AU of if at the end of Grayson’s consort path Joel died.

AU of if at the end of Lance’s consort path Lance didn’t get to/catch Lyle in time and Lyle fell off the cliff. AU of if then Lyle becomes a zombie because why not.

Edit: adding more AU of if Lou convinced the MC to join Iritum.

AU of if someone killed Guy so the magical energy/power Guy gave to Jasper went out of Jasper and back into Guy so Guy didn’t die but Jasper died instead.

AU of if the MC was a detective. Idea credit to @onedayimgonnasnap

AU of if the MC was a yandere to one of the consorts. Idea credit to @wrathfulwitch1

AU of if the MC was a runway model since one of the earlier event stories had Lynt and the MC model some clothing from Akedia.

AU of the consorts dressed like Victoria’s Secret Angel fashion show runway models.

AU of CoD characters doing the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

#Court of Darkness

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