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rafescurtainbangz · 4 months

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You and maybank in the shower after surfing. yn not oc. I know you dont do oc. thankk you love your jj/rafe ex post

Here is a little blurb from a one shot of mine. Thank you for your ask. Probably going to write another shower one shot with JJ soon because the thought of it is so 🫠🤭😩

Thank you for your ask!!

JJ x Girlfriend Female!Reader

Shower sex, unprotected p in v, oral (male receiving), shower head stuff, squirting, pet names, mutual teasing, softdom!jj, overstimulation

Y/N's POV:

"Were you thinking about doin' this," He taunts. "Were you dreamin' about me all wet and sexy like?" JJ whispers, fighting back a laugh, but he's not wrong.

"'Course I was," you whisper, tugging his hair as you kiss him deeply.

"My girl." His tongue slips between your pout, rolling slowly as you moan softly into your kiss.

He turns the handle, water spilling from the head, still cold, leaving you the perfect amount of time to play. Your lips meet his neck, a soft kiss, feeling his heartbeat under your lips. You palm his cock; rolling your fingers gently over the fabric. He moans deeply, vibrating against your lips.

You work a little lower, JJ, setting you down as you kiss and trace his toned chest and abs, working to your knees. Your fingers run softly against the indentations of his v-lines, making his muscles flex. You smile up at him sinfully, catching your fingers under the band of his shorts; pulling them to his feet. You watch as his aching cock springs free.

JJ meets your eyes; his guide shifting as you start to touch your tits as well.

"Fuck, Y/N," JJ groans.

You take your hands, running them gently against your breasts, circling your nipples with your fingers as he eyes your every move. Steam gathers above as the shower gets warmer; JJ's features are a little hazier than before. You return your focus below, running your nails up his thighs.

"Fuck you're huge, Jayj," you praise as you take him in your hands.

"Yeah?" He groans, watching you near his tip; a pearl of precum gathers on his head, rolling slowly down the length of his cock.

"Mmm... Mhmm." You hum, cleaning him up with your tongue; JJ closes his eyes, tilting his head back to the ceiling.

You continue to toy with him, little licks and flicks. JJ cradles your head in his hands as you swirl slowly. "Oh my god, Y/N," he grunts.

JJ's eyes open, watching as you kiss him sloppily, teasing him with the thought of your lips wrapped around him, the warmth of your mouth swathing him.

"Shit," he whines, sexual frustration painted all over his beautiful face. You smile wickedly, lips parting slightly; his mouth mimics yours, watching in anticipation as you squeeze the tip of his dick. "Those fuckin' lips, Y/N. Please."

"Please, what?" You taunt. "You were being a dick to me... Why should I suck yours?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," he soughs, pitching his hips forward. You snake your tongue around his head, working in slow, circular movements as you play with his balls. JJ's eyes shut tight when you alternate directions. "C'mon, baby. Give me what I want," he drawls. You open your mouth wider; JJ chuckles lustfully as you comply with his request. You take him into your maw. "Fuck," he moans, drawing out the word with a deep breath. You bob back and forth, gagging on his cock each time. He takes your head in his hands as you increase your speed.

JJ starts to quaver on your tongue, mumbling words of praise as you add your hands. He tugs your hair causing you to moan, JJ, answering with the same.

He seizes control, stroking slower, taking a different grip entirely, his strong hands holding your cheeks. The head of his cock kisses the back of your throat, spit seeping from the corners of your lips.

"I'm sorry I teased you, darlin'... I just couldn't help myself," he sneers, not an ounce of remorse in his voice. He lets out a deep chuckle. "So fuckin' good at suckin' cock, Y/N. Jesus Christ." He thrusts deeply a few more times before giving you back the reins. You draw off him fully; a gasp for air releases from your open lips. You spit on his cock, stroking him with your hand, letting your breasts bounce with each movement.

"Do you want my mouth, JJ?"

"Yes, baby."

"Beg."

He shakes his head and smiles wickedly."Yeah, angel? You want me to beg?"

"Mhmm..."

"Please, Y/N. Can I please have your mouth?"

You raise an eyebrow, waiting for more.

"Fuck, Y/N... I need that pretty little mouth wrapped around my cock... I'm beggin' ya... Please, baby." You wrap your lips around his tip, creating a suction that makes him groan. Your hands wrap around, gripping his ass, as you start to stroke. Lewd noises fill the bathroom; JJ, panting and moaning; you, slurping and squelching with each bob.

He hisses out a breath as you drag your nails along his skin. Tears run down your cheeks, eyes locked on his, watching as he starts to near his peak.

"So good, baby... I'm gonna - Fuck."

You run him even quicker, sucking a little harder as his brows knit tight. His blue eyes soften on yours, fighting to keep them open. You feel him quake on your tongue. Releasing him from your lips, you pump fast, arm wrapped around your ribs, pressing your breasts together. Your mouth opens wide, tongue flat

"Holy shit," he grunts, inhaling sharply, surrendering to his finish, warm, white ropes landing on your tongue and chest. You bind your fingers a little tighter, milking out his last bits of pleasure, skimming your tongue along JJ's tip, cleaning up the rest, making his hooded eyes roll back.

JJ takes a clasp on your wrists, pulling you up and into his arms. You wrap your legs around his trim waist, melting into him as he breathes laboriously, coming down from his high."God damn, baby. You're so fuckin' good at that," he mumbles, breathlessly against your lips. "Do you know how good you make me feel?"

You smile against your kiss, sucking off his plump bottom lip slowly, taking it between your teeth. "You make me feel so fucking good, Jayj," you respire between kisses as he steps into the large walk-in shower.

The water is warm; remnants of his release rise off your body, swirling down the drain. Steam and heat hang heavy in the air, making it almost impossible to see. You hook your ankles, driving your body closer as he presses your back into the cool tile wall. He shuts the glass door—JJ's large handprint streaks across the gathered vapor.

"That feel good, baby? Not too hot?"

"No. It's perfect," you whisper.

"Beautiful."

JJ reaches for the shower head, taking it off the base; turning it to a steady stream. He kicks your foot out gently. A smile spreads on his kiss-swollen lips as he sees you start to put the pieces together.

"Jayj?" You giggle breathlessly.

"You ever done this before?" He questions, gripping the detachable shower head in one hand, the other pinned just over your shoulder as he looks down at you.

"I mean maybe," you smile.

"No one's ever done it for you?" He groans, letting the warm water spray against your thigh, working higher and higher.

You bite your lip and shake your head 'no.' Your focus shifts, drifting lower, watching as he brings the stream of water to your pussy, hitting your clit, making your knees buckle. You let out a moan, echoing through the bathroom.

"Y/N... Fuck, baby. Too much?"

"No. It's good, Jayj. So good," you sigh. "Don't stop."

JJ moves his arm from the wall to your waist, drawing you closer, rocking slowly, increasing and decreasing the intensity, making you throw your head back in pleasure. JJ's lips quickly lock onto your skin, kissing you harshly before biting down, making you squeal.

He watches your body carefully, your face changing with each passing second as you drift closer and closer to your breaking point. You feel your pleasure building fast, the pressure of the water stronger than any toy you've used in a while."You like that. Huh?" He grunts. You nod your head rapidly. JJ leans down, taking your nipple in his mouth, sucking and flicking, causing you to arch your back.

"JJ... Oh my god," you hail as your vision starts to cloud, stars in your eyes.

"I can't wait to fuck you baby. This is just a warm-up, sweet-"

"JJ!" You cut him off, crying out in pleasure as you wrap your arms tighter, nails digging into his shoulder blades. He lets out a devilish laugh, forcing the stream a little closer. "Jay-JJ," you stutter.

"What, princess?" Your body jolts as you fight him slightly in overstimulation, continuing to ride the waves of your orgasm; pussy clenching tight. "Does it feel good, baby?"

"Yes. Fuck!"

"Then just take it," he rasps in your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You feel your body relax, heart pounding in your chest as you reach for air.

JJ returns the water head to the base, cranking up the heat, pressing you into the wall once more as you continue to kiss, your ears ringing slightly, feeling the after-effects of your bliss.

"Fuck me?" You whimper, desperation laced in your tone. "Please."

"Anywhere, baby? Where do you want it?"

"Bed; start here."

"The bed? You sure? I'd hate to upset the Williams." JJ reaches down, taking a grip on your thigh, looping it in his bicep, muscles flexing as he lifts you slightly.

"Just fuck me." You tilt your forehead against his, the two of you watching as his long cock nears your warmth. "Shit," you whine as he circles your sensitive clit with his velvety head, making him smirk. JJ moves a little lower, gliding through your folds; teasing your entrance with his tip.

"JJ. Please."

"Please what?" He teases you again.

"Fuck me."

"Baby..." He lets out a gravelly laugh. "Beg harder." JJ swipes his head across your bud again, making you gasp.

"JJ, can you please fuck me? Ple-" He thrusts his cock into you, rutting up, breasts pressing against his chest as he steals your breath. JJ grabs your ass and picks you up swiftly, causing you to sink deeper on his cock, making you mewl onto his lips.

"Y/N," he moans.

"Yeah," you stammer.

"I fucking love you."

"I fucking love you, JJ."

He pins you to the wall, leaning in, rutting quickly. His strokes are merciless; incredibly deep as you cling to his shoulders again. The hot water cascades down your body; increasing your pleasure as it flows between the two of you, the stimulation alone making you feel like you could climax.

"Ready?"

"Yeah," you mumble against his lips.

JJ draws open the door, his cock still buried deep as he brings you to the bedroom. He's sauntering, a slow stroll as you kiss at the perfect cadence. He sits down on the large mattress, letting you straddle his lap.

JJ adjusts slightly, his cock, reaching a different angle, making you suck in some air. You lift your body, rising up fully before spreading your thighs wide again. JJ grips your ass in his hands, following you as you move. "F-Fuck," you whine, bottom lip quivering as you feel him stretch you out.

JJ looks down, watching where your bodies connect. A low moan releases from the back of his throat. "You're so fuckin wet, Y/N. Holy shit." You hook your hand behind his neck, leaning back slightly, changing the angle for a better view. Watching JJ's thick cock glisten with essence.

Throwing your head back, you hit the perfect spot, feeling every curve and ridge as you push yourself further. JJ's thumb presses against your throbbing clit, rubbing circles on top, causing your thighs to shake. "Takin' me so well, baby girl," he drawls. "So fucking tight."

"JJ..." You sigh, feeling yourself about to cum again, head pounding with your heart.

"Yeah? That's the spot. Huh?"

"Y-Yeah," you stutter, cock-drunk, thighs quivering uncontrollably, making you lose your rhythm.

"Let me, baby. Let me," he groans.

JJ fucks into you, striking the perfect angle, making your muscles tense up. "Shit... Right there, Jayj. You're gonna make me cum."

"Yeah? This pussy was made for me. Cum on my cock, Y/N..." Your orgasm rips through your body, pleasure hitting you harder than your first release. Toes curling as you're sent into elation. You lock down around him, JJ taking his cue, pounding into you at an even quicker pace.

Before you can come down, he picks you up, throwing you on the mattress, thrusting into you suddenly. The sounds of his skin clapping against yours echoes through the large room. You let out a cry far louder than intended in a house that's not your own, even if it's empty. You cover your mouth with the back of your hand.

JJ quickly grabs your wrist, pulling it away from your mouth, shaking his head 'no' as he tacks it and the other against the plush mattress. "Never do that again," he pants through a smile, punctuating each word with a thrust.

"Closer," you beg. JJ leans in, pressing you against the bed, knees wide, striking deep inside, making your eyes slam shut. He loosens the grip on your wrist, fingers weaving into yours. Your mouth falls open, a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Look at me, baby."

You do, seeing every muscle at work, water still glistening on his tan skin, his blonde fringe wet and messy.

"JJ..."

"Me too, Y/N. Fuck. Me too," he moans. He drops a hand, pressing two fingers between your lips; you suck them roughly as you fight to keep your eyes open. JJ slips his hand low, his skilled fingers brushing fast.

"Yes, daddy! Just - Just like that. Fuck. JJ," you murmur. "Oh shit-" Your orgasm spills over, soaking his cock; wetting the sheets below. The sound of his strokes intensifies as he works you through your climax, stimulating your clit, brushing through spurts as he makes a mess of your thighs and his. "That's it... Good fuckin' girl."

His hips snap into you one last time, filling you with his warmth, toppling down on top of you. You can feel everything at this moment, his release and your own, the two of you glazed with sweat, soaked from the shower. You focus on the sound of his heartbeat, complementing your own, the way your body fits in his, JJ's weight on top of yours.

"That was amazing," he praises, kissing you sweetly.

"So good... So fucking good."

#JJ maybank #jj maybank smut one shot #jj maybank smut #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj x y/n #jj x reader #rudy pankow smut

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ashwhowrites · 2 years

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i wanna suck robins boobies while i fuck her 😭

with Smut prompt 6 and 7, please 🤍

Ummm now I want that 🫠

I can just imagine her blushing, being so embarrassed. Quietly saying to stop but is dripping at the same time

She's so hot

“I’ve never seen you squirm so much”

“Move an inch and you won’t be coming tonight.”

Smut! 18+ oral sex, titty sucking, fingering, language, and slight degradation

Y/N has been devouring Robin with her eyes since she walked through the door. Nancy was throwing a Halloween party, her and Steve in some couple costumes she didn't quite get. Eddie was dressed as Ozzy Osbourne (very original)

But her girlfriend was basically sex on legs. Well she actually was dressed as an angel. Very cliche, Y/N was the devil. Roll your eyes at how unoriginal they are but it matched them too well.

Ever since they met Y/N was the devil on Robin's shoulder. Always whispering naughty things in her ear. Unholy things. Things she never would think of.

Seeing Robin in a tight white dress was a sight to remember. It was cut very low underneath her ass and her tits were practically spilling out of it from the corset. She had white stockings with a little bow on the top. White heels that made her legs go on for days. A headband with a halo connected.

Y/N felt herself dripping.

Robin walked to her shyly with a blush. Not used to her body being on display around people, minus her girlfriend.

"hi baby." She kissed Y/N softly and pulled away fast. Not much for PDA in front of their friends. But Y/N needed more.

"you look so fucking sexy my beautiful girl." She practically moaned. No shame in how incredible she thinks her girlfriend looks.

Robin blushed harder. A small giggle escaped her lips.

Y/N tried to enjoy the party but she couldn't. She wanted her head between those thighs and mouth on those tits that were bouncing with every step.

She couldn't wait anymore. With Robin a bit tipsy, she gets more risky. Her hands were touching Y/N all over. Her ass was backed against her and grinding. Y/N was moaning into her back as she licked and sucked her neck.

Y/N grabbed Robin's hand and led her to the bathroom. She wanted her NOW.

Once she locked the door, she pounced on Robin. Her lips colliding with Robin's fast and hard. She wasted no time and shoved her tongue far in Robin's mouth. Their tongues tangling together.

Robin moaned at how fast paced things were going. The alcohol heightened her senses. She felt like she was standing over fire. Her hands were gripping Y/N's ass to shove her even closer.

Y/N pulled away and sat Robin on the counter. She gripped her thighs and spread them apart. Robin moaned and threw her head back.

"I can see your wet panties from here my gorgeous girl."

Robin blushed embarrassed, and went to close her legs. Y/N was quick to stop her with a click of her tongue. She shoved her hand between Robin's legs. Pealing her wet underwear down her legs.

Robin shivered as the cold air hit her clit. She was quickly warmed up when Y/N's tongue latched itself to her clit. Flicking and sucking.

Robin could barely breathe, her girlfriend was eating her out like she was starving.

Robin's breath caught in her throat when she felt two fingers slip into her cunt. She clenched tightly around them, a scream leaving her lips.

Y/N pulled away from her clit with a smirk, "shh quiet. Don't want people to know you are getting fucked in a party bathroom. You dirty slut."

Robin was losing her control. Hearing those nasty words, Y/N finger deep, and back to working on her clit- she was spazzing. Her thighs were shaking, locking Y/N's head in.

"baby. Fuck. I'm cumming. Oh God. Fu..c...k"

She came hard. Not bothering to cover her screams and whines.

Y/N slowly worked her through it, detaching herself slowly away.

Robin was panting, trying to recover when Y/N's lips wrapped around her nipple, sucking hard.

"oh fuck. Oh jesus Christ." Robin has never once had her nipples played with but she now knows she loves it

Y/N could tell Robin liked it by the way her body reacted. Y/N swirled her tongue around the bud, sucking hard and a small tug with her teeth. She pulled away to do the same to her other nipple. Keeping her fingers rolling the small bud.

Y/N grabbed Robin's leg and shoved it between her. She grinded down on her stockings, as she sucked on Robin's tits. The louder Robin was the harder Y/N grinded her clit against Robin's leg.

Robin's body was moving on its own. Y/N could barely keep up. She pulled away with a wet pop.

“I’ve never seen you squirm so much” she mocked with a smirk.

“Move an inch and you won’t be coming again tonight.” she warned as she went back to sucking Robin's tits.

Robin tried with everything in her to stay still. Letting her eyes watch her girlfriend get herself off from humping her leg as she sucked her tits.

It was going to be a hell of a night.

#robin buckley x female reader #robin buckley stranger things #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley #robin buckley smut #robin buckley requests

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hislittleraincloud · 2 months

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Grandpa Tor Remembers: Camping with UMass Boys (and their plentiful tents)

So (2) people want to know about the time my girlfriend and I put on a show for a dorm full of guys.

Alright. 🫠

It was the Fall 1993 semester at UMass Amherst, and my girlfriend (let's call her...'Kelly') was dorming with a Puerto Rican girl who was obsessed with Luis Miguel (this girl was a walking stereotype of Puerto Ricans 💀). There were posters of the guy all over the room — along with the requisite Jesus iconography/crucifix on the damn wall — without any space for my girlfriend's shit, so if we were going to be doing anything, we'd still be surrounded by that guy's face (and fkn Jesus, when Kelly was Jewish and I was atheist 😭🤣). This roommate hated being around my gf and hated it even more when I was around, so thankfully the weekend this happened, she had gone home to wherever the fuck she was from (Holyoke, I think) and my gf let me know so I could hop a bus over. Zero to do with the story, just setting the weird ass scene I was shuffled into at that time in my life. If I recall, her roomie wanted to be a nurse, too. 💀💀💀💀💀 But she was also big religious/a big Jesus beater, so she hated being roomed with a free-spirited Jewish lesbian like Kelly and made Kelly's life Hell whenever she was around.

Me being highly sexed and Kelly being receptive all the time led us to start fucking as soon as we got up into the roommateless room. Today, there was a banana involved, but the boys did not see that part. 😉🍌 Yes it went where you're thinking...not into me though 💩

Her bed was next to the wall and window. If you sat up in the bed, you could turn your head to see out the window and see the other dorms across the ways.

I was lying on my back on the bed and Kelly was doing her usual sexy stripper dance over me (this was a thing she did for me/us...easy to do with the Lords of Acid blasting around you)...and she suddenly turned beet red and started laughing.

Now when Kelly turned beet red and started laughing the way she did at the time, you know something's fucked up, so I sat up and asked her what was wrong. She knelt down and her laughter got worse (she was the giggly type). She pointed towards the window, so I looked out to see a whole fucking bunch of guys watching her from the windows of the other dorm (like... I'm not talking just a couple of guys... I'm talking dozens, since the windows were filled up with smiling, amused young college boys).

So instead of getting embarrassed, what did I do...I got on my knees and told Kelly to calm it and to straighten her back so they could see us pressed together. After waving at them, I (we) pulled a Cairo for their male gaze

after which they were all cheering like it was a fucking football game and someone just scored a touchdown.

Our kissing lasted much longer than the above drunken Male Gaze Kiss, so I hope some of them enjoyed themselves. We did not show them anything else besides boob (we were both un our bras and I flashed them, but Kelly was too shy...maybe because hers were big and mine were like Ortega's), but they seemed satisfied just to watch us make out and feel each other up. College boys in the '90s were too easy, and we both had our pick (but we were too picky...both interested in older men). Kelly said she wasn't sure if she could show her face on campus after that but all was good, she was never bothered by anyone about it.

I know, it wasn't as big of a show as you expected. We didn't fuck in front of them (well, we technically did, but they couldn't see it...and they knew that we were going to because before I sank back down onto the bed with Kelly, I gave them a final wave and a 👅✌🏼...I could see some disappointed faces but most were happy and waving g'bye back 🤭). We saved that kind of thing for later, when we fucked in front of my big dicked comics store boss who wanted to join in (but we didn't let him). 👹

Next story? I suppose I ought to do a new poll.

#poll story #poll winner #tumblr polls #that time we entertained a shitload of college boys #surrounded by luis miguel and jesus #that should work its way into a story somewhere #i swear i'll do it

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 1 year

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Big Sky S3 E10 Must Chat About It!!

I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. Ihate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla. I hate Carla.

So...

Carla - not a fan!

I'll tell you why under the cut! Psst! Spoilers below:

So, aside from the stupendously AWFUL timing she has:

Like, you had to pull up RIGHT then!

But , aside from that... she's 100% jerking Beau around. Like, she threw away her marriage to him, choosing to be with this total loser, but then goes running to Beau for protection at her first opportunity.

If you need more proof that Avery is a loser, wtf even was that call to Carla? Like he did NOTHING except freak her out, no doubt to try and gain sympathy from her! And then INCREDIBLY STUPIDLY tries to renegotiate the deal he made with a maniac. What a FABULOUS plan!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ LOSER!!

But my point is, this was the asshat she decided to marry, she walked away from Beau. And now JUST as things between him and Jenny are heating up, up pops fucking CARLA to intrude. Like, you had your shot, bitch! Walk away now.

I felt SO bad for Jenny at the end. I felt like Beau handled it the best he could, Carla does have his daughter in tow and he is VERY worried about them, understandably wanting to keep them close and safe.

And his protective nature popping out when he was with Carla in Avery's hotel room was still incredibly sweet and hot AF, even if it was directed at the wrong person.

A technology issue is keeping me from making Big Sky gifs, which makes me very sad, cause Beau was SO hot in this episode!! In the interrogation room with Walter, Jesus was he ever 🫠🫠🫠

And then of course the two tender/gentle/sexy moments with Carla and then Jenny. My gawd!!!! I was just DYING! Even though I can't stand Carla and desperately don't want him to get back with her, the way he was with her was so hot, and sexy and sweet!!

Then with Jenny I was definitely squeeing a lot!! Then Fucking CARLA goes and completely ruins the moment!!

I say again:

Did I mention that I hate Carla? Cause I do and I feel it bears repeating. I hate Carla.

Anyway, I'm so sad we have to wait for a whole month until the next episode!! 😭😭

But I can't wait! Thanks for reading my rants. Lmk what you thought of the episode and please feel free to join my "I hate Carla" hashtag movement. 😆

😘😘

P.S. I still don't trust Cormac! 🤷‍♀️

#i hate carla #beau arlen #big sky s3 spoilers #big sky s3 e10 #jenny hoyt #jensen ackles #katheryn winnick

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sunflowerharrington · 2 years

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Hey babe <3

Soft Kai headcanons? No rush

Love you

firstly, i love you too babes!! <3

wc - around 740 i think

notes - sorry not sorry xoxo

warning(s) - tw mention of murder, and also kai anderson obviously, one mention of lingerie

here he is, the main man of this post himself. mr kool kid with a k 😎

girlies, gays and theys, welcome to my unhinged headcanons about (blue-haired) kai anderson that are true because i said so and what i say in this post goes :)

~ and also because i’m having a moment of absolute “what the fuck-ery” right now for no reason. i’m taking absolutely no criticisms here, thank you :) ~

— still can't tie his fucking shoelaces

— manchild

— has posters of himself all over his bedroom, because what absolute madlad doesn’t?

— puts on a fucking performance in the shower. i’m talking christina aguilera here. i’m talking beyoncé and rihanna. not their songs but he goes above and beyond singing in the shower, and you’d find that so cute if you caught him

— …but it’s ONLY when he’s alone, or so he thinks sometimes

— is a pro at the google dinosaur run game that comes up when there’s no internet available

— would low-key do this when alone, like completely completely alone; vibing to doja cat while he’s working out at the gym. and wrecking ball by miley cyrus.

“…call him ed sheeran he’s in love with my body, they say i just got a buck yeah get into it, yuh. pop out with a truck— WHAT THE FUCK HARRISON? NO, I'M NOT LISTENING TO THAT SHIT. IT’S A SONG ABOUT WORLD DOMINATION!! NOO, IT'S NOT BY A GIRL! bitches can’t sing, my child.”

— […britney spears…👀]

— can almost instantly hack into somebody’s phone, laptop, tablet or any other sort of technology HAHA NERD

— small dick energy but has a fucking sledgehammer

— “…don’t listen to rap music!” listens to it. probably kanye west, because who doesn’t love yeezus? i mean kai thinks he’s god, kanye thinks he’s jesus… i’m trying to make a point here but it’s not working help 😭🫠

— also looks on facebook for hot single moms to fuck. preferably milfs

— “he’s cooooraliiine!” 🎶

— (totally bought some of belle delphine’s bathwater when that was a thing 🤭)

— had a bowl cut when he was a lickle baba and, like everyone in the world ever except jeff pfister and mutt nutter, absolutely hated bowl cuts

— “lost his virginity” to a pillow. not really, but that’s what i think

— is a pro at mario kart and can beat anyone at it, except me. i’m a champion at that game, i swear it babes

— commitment issues

— *whispers* daddy issues…

OKAYY I'M DONE WITH THE UNHINGED ONES, here’s some soft!kai headcanons for my love, meg :)

— brushes your hair sometimes, and braids it

— you’re sitting on the floor on a cushion between his legs as his fingers dance through your hair, braiding away the strands of hair from around your face…

— throws temper tantrums but sometimes if he’s feeling like a human he’ll let you run your hands through his hair to calm him down

— thinks your massages are fucking deadly when you do them (deadly means good. it’s just the kind of slang i use)

— takes you out on dates every so often and steals some of your fries if you get fries, but you think it’s cute because it’s so obvious he’s doing it

— he will fall in love with you if you like mountain dew and cheetos, absolutely no hesitation. he’d never admit it though

— and if you have the same views as him, god, you’re his for life

— likes to have you sitting on his lap during cult meetings sometimes to show the other men and women that you’re his number one, though he does preach about equality

— also will not hesitate to murder anyone who tries to hurt you (except winter. if winter ever hurt you [which imo i don’t think she would on purpose] then kai would say it’s your fault, but other than that…)

— if he’s feeling extra nice he might buy you a gift or something; and by that i mean either some lingerie or something that could be put on you to make you appear even more sexy in his mind. he buys it for you but really it’s for him. but it’s the thought that counts!

— and might even call you mrs anderson during a cult meeting to see how you’d react, though he’d never want to marry anybody, he still considers the thought of it

— nicknames for you include; his angel, his little lamb, his princess, his goddess (if he’s feeling a lil spicy). always has to have ‘his’ in front of it, though. you are his, after all

— matching tattoos? matching tattoos. maybe one on y’all’s pinky fingers to signify a deeper, more emotional connection— according to kai

okayy, i’m done for now but i might come back and add more tomorrow it’s currently like almost 3AM and i am KNACKERED, babes

@xxlangdon @sympathyforher @unlivingdreams @quickiesgirl @langdon-cumslut my lovelies

#american horror story #ahs #kai anderson #ahs cult #ahs fanfic #ahs fandom #ahs headcanon #kai anderson headcanons #chaotic evil coraline : kai anderson

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