#the gay man yaoi to lesbian yaoi pipeline

[tartppola]

waaaa yuuka 😭😭😭

#doodle bin #for clarification #tall guy on the left is kuroki yuuya ( mc for heartslabyul ln ) #my design for him at least #BUT WAAHH YUUKAAA #yuuken to yuuka call that the #the gay man yaoi to lesbian yaoi pipeline #wheeee #anyways looking forward to savanaclaw manga oo it already looks promising and the art is so 😩😩😩 #twisted wonderland #twst #enma yuuken #kuroki yuuya #yuuka #twst oc

[roleshirked]

This is another variation of the lesbian to gay tman hsts pipeline: twitter /guessimafab/status/1154389978618716160/ note the internal notion that ending with a man is destiny

the above thread linked is a great, vulnerable look into one woman's experience with confronting her sexuality and how that plays into the world she is a part of.

it ties in pretty well with my discussion with another anon (unless you're also that anon) about how can self-proclaimed lesbians possibly enjoy or engage with such flagrant displays of male (undeniably, hyper-masculine male) sexuality and not feel some sort of cognitive dissonance? after reading this thread i think i can understand better. my thought that it had to do with dissociation from the female body & female sexuality was right. this excerpt:

hits pretty fucking close to what my experience was as a teen, even. i wasn't able to embrace my sexuality or my body and felt uncomfortable having fiction reflect it back to me. i felt like this until my twenties.

it isn't impossible to see how a gay woman who is that self-loathing would cling so hard to any type of representation for how she feels, to the point that she will begin to believe, "if this is the only type of Thing i can see myself in, i must be this Thing." in this case, it's men in slash/yaoi media.

but i think this massive sense of self-loathing, born from internalized homophobia and misogyny as the OP illustrates at the top of her thread, is only half of it. there's this other portion of her thread:

which shows me how prescriptive and pathological her thinking and worldview is. it isn't "i was great at masking" or "i was great at pretending", it's "my ADHD/socialization/etc. made me mask" or "these Traits that just Happen to be a Part Of Me made me Do This." it separates the self from the action; the self from the thought process. the self from the brain. the self from the agency. and how can we possibly begin to reckon with the things we do and say and experience when we believe the things we do and say and experience are not products of our direct interaction with the world? this is why i think separating the sense of self/the soul from the body/the corporeal world is so so dangerous. it makes people believe they lack agency -- when all they really lack is a sense of self.

i hope i'm making sense here, i also don't mean to flagellate OP. it's just something i see so often among the TRA crowd and the younger generation at large and this is a great example of it. she's quite young, only 23. this is something i see very often among the 25-under crowd, a singular inability to think inward, to analyze the self. the self is instead given to these people. there is absolutely a generational divide here, i wish i had the words to articulate it properly. this isn't to say there aren't older lesbians or women who do the same (heavens know i have them in my immediate friend circle), but that it's more common among the younger crowd/Gen Z. it's as if, if they cannot find a label for a thing they think or feel, then that thing they think or feel does not exist, and must be retrofitted somewhere else. and this is a devastating way to live.

#ask #put down the yaoi #detransition