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justgothamcitythings · 1 year

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Supervillains ranked by how much they piss off the locals

Because I promised Lenny I'd do this. Hi, Lenny. You can gripe about my ranking system here.

THE JOKER Mass chaos, hysteria, disrupted public transit, and distrusting anything that comes out of the harbor for the next six weeks are signs of a Joker caper. Even with the city's expertise in undoing his shenanigans, he always makes for several days of royal-pain-in-the-ass-ness. Only gains points because he isn't a freaky bigot and doesn't target the average joe most of the time. (EDIT: I do specify MOST of the time. I am not about to apologize for the shit he does when he decides it'd be hilarious to mutate all the fish in Gotham harbor or worse.) 9/10, if you give any Gothamite a crowbar we will threaten to cave in this shit's knees.

OZZIE COBBLEPOT No I'm not using his other name, it's disrespectful. Ozzie's fine. He's a mafioso, but he isn't a drug pusher or pimp. By all accounts he's one of the old guard, and... y'know what? Good on him. Not openly murderous, he might clear out a warehouse you're working at but he won't shoot you in the face. 1/10, I eat at the Iceberg Lounge like once a year with no guilt.

KILLER CROC No he didn't eat your Cousin Maury, you don't have a Cousin Maury. 2/10, he makes people who read tabloids paranoid but we never see the guy.

CATWOMAN Just an art thief with a sense of style, not a supervillain. N/A.

THE RIDDLER Way less disruptive than the Joker most of the time but way more annoying just because when you find out about how everything unraveled five days later you kick yourself and scream "SUNNUVABITCH WHY DIDN'T I GET THAT?!", also occasionally messes with stuff in public and that can get messy. Still, he won't kill you on purpose and he kinda sneers at the idea of killing people in general? Like, if it wasn't for whatever's going on with his villainy obsession I'd think that he'd be a killer detective? I dunno, that might just be me. 4/10, would still probably hench for him maybe?

POISON IVY ...she's right. 2/10, only `cause sometimes Sheldon Park or the Botanical Gardens get closed after one of her capers and those are both legit awesome places to relax.

TWO-FACE Scarier than a lot of these fucks because he will deliberately kill someone at the drop of a hat. Has no fear of getting caught, has no aversion to disrupting everything. If anything, just makes you aware of areas that have an obvious theme of duality so you can avoid the hell out of them. In Japan, 4 is unlucky. In Gotham it's 2. 7/10, and I'm picking an odd number there just in case he's reading this.

MR FREEZE Much like Eddie Nygma, Fries won't deliberately kill you, but you very well might get a case of hypothermia if you're near one of his capers. On the downside you WILL need to redirect around anyplace he's been because, y'know, giant blocks of ice. On the upside, "Mr. Freeze just left a wall of ice between North and South Gotham" is usually a legit excuse to be late or miss work. 5/10.

SCARECROW 500,000/10. No commentary needed.

#Just Gotham City Things #Gotham City #The Joker #The Riddler #Poison Ivy #Mr Freeze #Scarecrow #Oswald Cobblepot #Supervillains #Local opinion

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razputin-vodello-au-archive · 2 years

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Interns your given five hundred million to spend the night with any of these lovely individuals. Who are you choosing and why ? Also you can't back out .

1. Riddler

2. Joker ( Heath Ledger)

3. Michael Myers

4 Jason Voorhees

5. Pennywise

[Norma] We're not letting Raz do this, pretend or not. These are all way to scary for him.

[Lizzie] Yeah, no need to traumatize him ...more.

[Adam] (chuckles) I think you wanted to sound caring, but it backfired?

[Lizzie] Pretty much. (Chuckles) Go and choose, Brit Boy.

[Adam] I'll take Michael. The guy's resilient, but it's not like he's indestructable.

[Norma] I hate all of these.

[Lizzie] C'mon, pick one. It's just a game.

[Norma] Fine. I'll take the joker. I'll just burn him if he tries anything ffffffunny - I made a pun without realizing it, I hate myself.

[Lizzie] I don't think we are allowed to use our powers, but ol' Bowser didn't say it wasn't allowed, so I guess you're good. I choose Pennywise, because I have the hots for Bill Skarsgård.

[Gisu] (laughs) That's not a good reason! Actually, no, it is - but it's not a legit one.

[Lizzie] I'm sticking with my choice.

[Morris] And that's your right. Then I'll take Jason Voorhees, because the guy hasn't been picked yet. It's as good a reason as any.

[Gisu] I choose Riddler. Let's see who's traps are bette and I do love a good riddle.

[Sam] You haven't even seen the movie yet.

[Gisu] A Riddler is a Riddler, how different can he be?

[Sam] I'd choose Pennywise. I think I can take him.

[Morris] Of that, I have no doubt, mi amiga Rara.

#I have not seen the Battison batman movie #psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #razputin vodello au #razputin vodello #lizzie natividad #norma natividad #gisu nerumen #sam boole #adam gette #adam joseph gette #morris martinez

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