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jiilys · 4 years

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good crimes

also on ao3

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: do u think i should get a fringe

Sirius Black: depends if u want james to fuck you again

Lily Evans: harsh

Lily Evans: a fringe wont effect my GREAT boobs

Lily Evans: ive rung mar im doing it anyway get fucked

Sirius Black: have fun becoming a born again virgin just to spite me

“Do you think Jane Austen could’ve written more convincingly about love if she’d been married?”

Sirius, lying on his bed scrolling through Twitter and ignoring Remus’ emails, didn’t look up.

“Jane Assrim?”

“Jane Austen,” Lily flopped onto the bed and made Sirius drop his phone down the side of it. “I’ve just read the most infuriating article”

Sirius, phoneless, not quite ready to let the joke go: “Jane Offramp, did you say?”

“- think you have to married to write about love? Is it a fucking prerequisite? And what does ‘write convincingly about love’ even mean? Like Sense and Sensibility isn’t fucking incredible-”

“That was a good movie.”

Lily turned to him, “I know you read the book.” He had, but only because it was cheaper than getting Lily a birthday present last year.

“He said Sense and Sensibility would’ve been more convincing if Jane was married?”

“Yes. I mean, I’m paraphrasing, but yes.”

“She wasn’t?”

“No. Do you listen when I talk?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Pity. Maybe then you’d be better at pub quizzes.”

“One time!” Sirius shoved his hand down the side of the bed, grasping for the phone, “One fucking quiz! I’d had eleven gins!”

“It was seven gins”

“Thirteen gins!”

“Seven, at best.” Lily sat up, “I don’t know what to do about this, I’m thinking about scrapping my entire thesis to exclusively write about why this guy sucks one.”

Sirius finally grasped the phone, “That sounds unwise.”

“We won’t know till I’ve tried it.”

“I think we know now.”

“Buzzkill. Go have another gin.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: you home for dinner tonight

Lily Evans: ill be in

Sirius Black: im going to combine spaghetti and baked beans in a pot and make spaghetti beans

Lily Evans: im out

Sirius Black: ive bought wine

Lily Evans: back in

“You’re not naked in there are you!”

“Why would I be naked?”

Sirius poked his head around the door holding a cup of tea. Lily was sat on the bed, laptop open, fully clothed. He ventured inside. “’Heard Potter and didn’t want to interrupt kinky shit.”

“We’re trying to decide how to email my landlord about mowing the lawn,” James’ voice, crackly, through the laptop, “But if that does it for you Black I’m not judging.” He’s wearing a top that is definitely Remus’ and hasn’t bothered to button it.

“Have you brought me a tea?” Lily asked, sweetly.

“No. I came to ask if you knew where the sieve was and Potter’s out here with his shirt undone like this is a porno.”

“Sorry for turning you on this early.” James said, gleeful.

Lily leant back against her pillows. “Give me the tea and I’ll tell you where the sieve is”

James, the traitor, laughed. Sirius squinted. “Are you kidding.”

Lily held out a hand and after taking a second to weigh his options (leave, sieveless, back at square one or hand over the tea, make a new one, gain sieve). Sirius gave her the mug.

Lily blew on it. “We don’t have a sieve” She said, solemnly, and James howled. Sirius lunged for the tea.

“Kidding!” Lily swooped it out of his reach as James continued to make inhuman noises that were surely annoying at least half of the California population, “Top drawer above the oven!”

Unknown to Lily Evans: lill

Unknown: its siriius

Unknown: am out lost phone pls call uber

Lily Evans: where are you

Unknown: nandos on main

Lily Evans: the one where i broke my heel or the one you and james are banned from

Unknown: banned

Lily Evans: number plate is JKY879 u have three minutes

Unknown: thank u lpve u

James Potter to Sirius Black: call me

Sirius Black: you call me

Sirius Black: im not paying three pounds a minute for you to tell me to check my email

James Potter: its not abt emails

James Potter: we’ll bill it to the company

Sirius Black: we are the company

Sirius let the phone ring four times before he picked up. “’Bill it to the company’ are you mad?”

“I’ve literally left a meeting to ring you and you can’t even pick up quickly. What was the name of that guy from that 2014, that investor, hated us-”

“All of them.”

“But he liked Remus-”

“Again, all of them.”

“-had that terrible tie, remember? It had birds on it and his last name was, like, ‘brain’ or something and he got really shitty when we wouldn’t stop going on-“

“Harvey Brain. Pronounced Bry-an” Sirius said, instantly, “We nicked those mints they had in reception.”

“Brilliant. ‘Ring you when I’m out of this.”

“You look terrible” Sirius said to Lily, who did.

“The fringe does not react well to heat.” She opened the fridge and stuck her head inside it.

Sirius, in a show of great maturity, did not say ‘I told you so’. Lily, who knew he was thinking it, said “Shut up” anyway, so what was the point.

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: so help me god. if the dishwasher isnt empty when i get home. i will murder you. actual and full death will come your way

Lily Evans: this is not a joke i will actually kill you sirius

Sirius Black: mark zuckerdick if ur reading these she rlly is threating me

Sirius Black: call mi6

Lily Evans: ill happily go to jail if people empty the dishwasher there

“I need you to come get me-“

Lily sat up, “Who is this?”

“Fuck off” Sirius’ voice, annoyed, vaguely drunk but mostly not, “I know you know”

“I was asleep.”

“You don’t sleep.”

She avoided that. “What happened?”

“Bar. Fight. He started it.”

“Oh really.”

“Believe me, would you?”

“I try but it’s hard seeing as I know you.”

“Don’t tell the boys. I’m in Croydon.”

“Croydon?”

“Don’t start. I’ll pay your cab fare.”

“You won’t”

“I will. Be quick.”

Lily, already with shoes on, “I’m not even out of bed”

“Liar.”

“Do I need bail money?”

“I’m at the hospital”

“What?” Lily’s heart, suddenly in her knees.

“Bruised ribs. It’s nothing. They won’t let me walk out alone.”

“Hospital?-“

“Some snitches. Black eye. It’s nothing. You should-“

“Don’t say ‘see the other guy’-“

“I was going to say ‘see me’ by which I mean hurry up-“

“Ungrateful!” Lily pulled on a fresh shirt, hands reaching for her house keys, “Watch yourself or I won’t come.”

“You bloody will.”

“Yeah.” Reaching for the door handle, “hey-“

“Yeah?”

“No murders?” their dumb code meaning, you good? Meaning: do I have to kill for you? Meaning: I would, just say.

“No murders.”

“See you in forty, don’t say-“

“Speed.”

“Asshole. I hope I get every light.”

Lily Evans to we’re not calling the company massivesoft: remus tell potter anytime he wants to talk to me and not my boss i am available

Remus Lupin: isn’t he talking to you??

Lily Evans: he always rings me on the work phone hes been talking to narelle for fifteen minutes

James Potter: dont be jealous that narelle and i have a special relationship

Lily Evans: didnt think my greatest threat would be my 57 year old boss and yet

Remus Lupin: yeah i had bets on sirius

Sirius Black: honestly me too fuck up narelle

“Would it fucking kill you to remember anything-“

“Moony, hold on-“

“I’m serious-“

“Actually I’m-“

“Fucking don’t I swear to Christ-“

Sirius grinned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, “I forgot, shit- I forgot about the call, I’m sorry.”

Remus sighed, bone-deep and familiar, “I need you on those things. Otherwise I just get-“

“- Walked over.”

“Out-negotiated-“ He sighed again.

Sirius bit his lip, “Did it go well?”

“I rescheduled. I can’t do that shit without you.”

He smiled. “World’s worst lawyer.”

“This is business. It requires a blind confidence and ability to bullshit which-“

“- I contain in multitudes.”

“Look at you, quoting me.”

“If you were any good at business you’d bill me for that.”

Remus snorted. Sirius could picture it, Remus, exhausted, rubbing his face over his computer, almost laughing. “I am sorry about missing the call.”

“I know.” Remus, leaning back against his office chair, head to the ceiling, phone to his ear. Sirius could feel it like a toothache. “It’s bullshit that you’re not here. If you were here I could force you onto the phone.”

“Oh Moony, it’s almost like you miss me.”

“It’s this heat, it’s making me fucking crazy. How are you, anyway? Lil said she’s growing out the fringe due to your bullying.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: what the fuck is in the fridge

Lily Evans: is this about the bird

Lily Evans: the neighbours cat was eating it!! i had to bring it inside

Lily Evans: the bin was full and we’re out of bags i didn’t know where else to put it

Lily Evans: i thought if i left it out it would start to smell

Lily Evans: I wrapped it up!! i couldn’t just leave it!!

Lily Evans: can’t believe im getting roasted for caring about nature

Sirius Black: was actually talking about the skim milk but glad we got the bird thing out of the way

“Mar’s coming round,” Lily said, “She’s bringing wine.”

“I thought you had that test thing.” Sirius was eating sour cream with a spoon right out of the pot.

“That was today, it went fine. But Nathan sent Mar a follow request on Instagram, then messaged her on Facebook to ask if she’d gotten it.”

“Hence the wine.”

“Yeah, he’s not blessed with your moves.” Two years ago, drunk on New Year’s Eve, Marlene and Sirius had fucked in Remus’ bed. This was a source of constant amusement for everyone, except briefly for Remus while it was occurring.

“What I have can’t be taught.”

“But it can be caught,” Lily took the sour cream out of his hands, “You’re foul. We’re making popcorn.”

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: remus just told me what him and james call us

Sirius Black: is it not our names

Lily Evans: the lady and the tramp

Sirius Black: HA

Sirius Black: found my next tattoo

“Your party sucks.” Lily said, shutting the sliding door. Inside, she hears a glass break.

“Most of them are your friends.” Sirius, chain-smoking over the balcony, didn’t look over. Lily walked over to stand next to him.

“It’s the music that’s the problem.” Mary’s voice, mixed in with thumping drum and base, seeped under the door, apologising about the glass. The balcony was littered with cigarette butts. “Twenty-three, Black. You’re proper old now.”

“Tell me about it.”

“We need some Springsteen.” She said, which actually meant we need James. “Whose playlist is this? Where’s Born to Run?” Sirius doesn’t say anything.

The horrible thing was, when James had first told her about the Visa issue she’d thought it was funny. It was funny, to everyone, at the time. Sirius, on some USA Visa watchlist because of some prank he’d pulled on this mother at fourteen that grounded two planes and killed four seagulls. Now, in the dark, in this year, it seemed entirely less funny. James and Remus in Silicon Valley, setting up the company for real and Sirius, left behind. Eleven again, still.

He flicked his cigarette to the floor and crushed it with his foot, still hunched over the railing. Lily put her head on his shoulder and hummed the chorus of ‘Hungry Heart’ quietly, and Sirius is pulled back to this year, twenty-three, with broken glass inside the flat, grounded again.

James Potter to exclusively business: god this accountant smells like cheese

Sirius Black to exclusively business: that’s not very businessesy

James Potter: ur right

James Potter created the group cheesy accountant

James Potter added Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Sirius Black: are you seeing the accountant for the business though??

James Potter: god right again

James Potter created the group exclusively cheesy accountant business

James Potter added Sirius Black, Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin: is this why ur in the goddamn bathroom james get back here

Sirius Black: does he smell like cheese moons

Remus Lupin: it is pungent yes

“The service here is terrible.” Sirius said, slumping on the counter and looking awful.

“He means can we please have some fries.” Marlene said, looking marginally better, wearing Sirius’ jacket.

“Funny,” Lily skated over, “Didn’t sound like it.”

Marlene grinned, “Rollerblades day?” Sirius’ head jerked up.

“Jay’s here so Narelle is making us.” Lily said, flatly, and pretended to charge them, “Swipe your card, or something.”

“Every day should be rollerblades day.” Sirius was recovering quickly, “No one rocks The Blades like you do-“

Lily ignored him. “At least pretend to swipe a debt card Mar, what is that?”

Marlene held it up, “My library card.”

“I’m going to start calling you ‘Blades’, recognise your talent-“

“Go away.” Marlene and Lily said, nearly in unison. Sirius held his hands up and slunk off.

“He was basically in a coma this morning,” Marlene swiped her library card, pretended to type a pin, “I had to drag him here, this is giving me an error notice by the way.”

“Stop pressing buttons, was it a good night?”

“It was alright. I lost him” she jerked her thumb to Sirius, collapsed against a table, “But ended up seeing him later. Wish you were there- I think I’ve broken this machine. It won’t give me my card back-“

“Christ, how have you done this-“

“Me? It’s your machine-“

“When are you even at the library-“

“Are you saying I can’t read-“

“What? When did I say that-“

“I’ll pull this side, you pull the other-“

“That is a terrible idea-“

“Ready?”

Sirius, appearing from nowhere, yanked the card out in one swift motion and presented it to Marlene. “McKinnon, I didn’t know you couldn’t read.”

Lily Evans to James Potter: you awake

James Potter: its two over there go to bed

Lily Evans: yeah yeah

Lily Evans: wanna hear my voice

James Potter: god yeah

James Potter: give me two minutes im about to go through a tunnel ill ring you

Lily Evans: see you on the other side

Lily Evans: ‘god yeah’

Lily Evans: you wont get this till ur out of the tunnel but shit im mad for you

Lily hit Sirius in the face with her bag strap, “Wake up.”

He didn’t flinch or open his eyes, “What?”

“Jesus, you’re not even asleep.”

“Yes I am.”

“Liar. Get up, you said you’d come with me to this thing.”

“The Masters mixer?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “It’s a mixer-“

“- a Masters mixer-“

“- for Masters students. There is no need to give it a name.”

“But ’Master’s mixer’ rolls right off the tongue.”

“Get up-“ Lily hit him with her bag this time, “You said you’d come-“

“Ow-“ eyes open now, “Those things suck, everyone always thinks we’re dating.”

“I’ll tell them you’re my brother.”

“That’ll never work, I’m way better looking than you.”

Lily turned away, “Right, you’re uninvited-“

“Hey!” Sirius’ arm shot out, grabbed her wrist.

“I’m Masters Mixing without you-“

“You said I could go!”

“Invitation rescinded.”

“Come on! I’ll wear a tie!”

Lily looked smug, “You are so predictable.”

“Please,” Sirius sat up, “You’d be so bored without me there.”

Lily, who would be, said: “I’ll say you’re my step-brother”

“You can still date your step-brother.”

“Not with a clear conscience, you can’t. Get up, I’ve rung a cab.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: sleep nutty professor

Lily Evans: just had major breakthrough with The Thesis i cant

Lily Evans: also tell the girl/guy/person ur with to not drink all the milk tmrw theres barely any

Sirius, stationed outside the Lily’s room, banged on the door again. “C’mon Evans!”

James, distantly, from the phone hung by Sirius’s leg. “Maybe she’s not in”

Sirius put the phone back to his ear, “I know she’s in,” He continued to bang but returned to James, “Does this mean you guys are going to be meeting Bill Gates?”

“Dunno. I guess it’s his money so, like, maybe? Oh God-“

“If you met Bill Gates without me I’m going to be so fucking pissed-“

“How could we met him with you you’re in London-“

“EVANS! OPEN UP! WE HAVE MONEY NEWS!” Sirius returned to the phone, “You’ll probably get a picture with the ghost of Steve Jobs or something, God, I’m already annoyed about it.”

“If we met Steve Jobs’ ghost I promise to put him in a jar and send him home.”

“You had better-“ Sirius, who had paused in his banging to finish the Steve-Jobs-ghost threat, could hear something coming from the other side of the door. Music, played just low enough for someone who didn’t want people outside to be able to hear. “She’s playing the Sense and Sensibility Soundtrack.”

“What?” James’ whole tone changed, “Is she alright?”

Sirius banged again, “Evans!” Nothing. She turned the volume down.

“Are you sure its Sense and Sensibility?” James, insistent.

“Of-course it is.” Sirius banged on the door again, “Evans, What’s wrong?” No answer.

“Do you think there’s any chance it’s because I look a little bit like Hugh Grant and she hasn’t seen me in eight months?” He sounded a little desperate.

Sirius snorted. “You do not look like Hugh Grant.”

“Sirius-“

“Honest to God, do you actually think you look like Hugh Grant?”

“Would you-“

“Total opposites, honestly, never looked less like a person-”

“Sirius,” James cut him off, “Something might be really wrong, you have to let me talk to her.”

“Oi, Lil!” Sirius called, “Do you think James looks like Hugh Grant?”

A voice, thick, from behind the door: “Fuck no.”

Sirius knocked again, politely, letting the phone drop to his side (James, distantly: “I said a little, put Lil on, Christ-“). Lily opened the door, face red, puffy eyes, hand gripping the door edge.

Sirius stared, James forgotten. “What happened.”

“Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.”

Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

“Our old neighbour. She got an invite to their engagement party last week.” She sniffed, rubbed a hand over her face. Sirius couldn’t think of anything to say, except that he wanted to throw Petunia into a very deep ocean.

“What’s the news?” Lily asked. She looked so tired. He cannot remember the last time she’d slept.

“Bill Gates’ foundation is giving us a ton of money and James is going to post me Steve Jobs’ ghost.”

Faintly, Lily smiled. “Is the money to buy the ghost?”

“Nah he’s going to steal that, moneys for the business.” She smiled again, stronger. Jackpot. Sirius handed the phone to her, James’ voice barely audible. She reached for it, and he gripped it tightly, only for a minute. “Hey.” She looked at him, red eyes, hand out-stretched. He can read her backwards.

“I’m good.” she said. He kept looking.

“No murders?”

“Yeah,” half-smile, “No murders.”

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: tell him to check his fucking emails im going fucking feral

Lily Evans: will do

Lily Evans: he says so be it

“Keira Knightley’s in it.”

“Is it Pirates of the Caribbean?”

“No-“

“Why isn’t it? Let’s watch Pirates of the Caribbean” Sirius, lying across the couch, kept throwing remote in the air.

“Just because you think you look like Orlando Bloom-“

“I do look like him-“

“Only if you shut your eyes and drop acid-“

“Hey-“

“We are not watching Pirates of the Caribbean again. You’ll like Atonement, I promise, it’s like an epic war love story-“

“So like Pirates of the Caribbean but without-“

“- He’s not your twin-“

“My twin-“

Lily rolled her eyes, considered pushing his legs off her lap, didn’t: “You can’t only watch films because you look a little like one of the actors.”

“So you do think I look like him!”

“No I said think you look like-“

“You said ‘look a little like’! Ha!”

Lily pushed his legs off her lap. “If you look like Orlando Bloom then I look like Molly Ringwald.”

“Nah, you know who you look like,” Sirius tilted his head, “The kid from Finding Nemo with the braces. The one who holds the fish in a bag.”

“Oh my God-“

“Only a little-“

“You suck. You fully suck.” Lily was laughing.

“Let’s watch Finding Nemo! See your twin for a change-“

“You’re pushing it now.”

“Fine, maybe twin is a little strong. Cousin.”

“Second cousin. And you and Orlando could be, like, half-brothers if I have two beers and squint.”

“I’ll take it.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: what the fuck

Sirius Black: evans its three

Lily Evans: sorry i dropped a tray promise ill b quieter

Lily Evans: dont worry im not making brownies again

Sirius Black: thank god those were shit

Lily Evans: fuck you

Sirius Black: you were the one that put them in the bin

Lily Evans: go to bed judas

“We’re trying to stay positive.”

“I’m not trying that hard.” Sirius confessed, and Lily punched him on the arm before going back to the phone.

“We’re just waiting for the locksmith. If we still had a spare this wouldn’t be happening, but-“

“If you took your keys!-“

Lily punched him again, and Sirius groaned and fell back against the grass.

Over the phone, Marlene finally composed herself. “You two are tragic. Come ‘round and sleep here.”

“Can’t, we said we’d wait around. You could come here though.”

“And lie on the lawn in the middle of the night with you and Mr Positive? I’ll pass.”

“Hey, Sirius,” Lily held the phone away from her ear, “I think that’s an ant’s nest.”

Sirius leapt up so quickly he almost hovered in the air. He stared at the empty ground, wide eyed, before turning back to Lily, who was laughing so hard she’d dropped the phone.

“Oh, very funny, you’re hilarious. McKinnon,” he picked up the phone, “You’ve got to get over here, I’m going to kill Evans and I need you to call the cab to move the body.”

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: ive bought eggs and cheese

Lily Evans: ur cooking tonight so looking forward to the meal of cheesy eggs

Lily Evans: sirius im kidding please dont make that

Lily Evans: sirius

Lily took the phone and didn’t even say hello, “You’ve got to stop ringing,” she said, meaning none of it, “Narelle really thinks you’re on the verge of investing. It’s not on.”

“Hey, I always say I’m ‘thinking about’ investing,” James pointed out, “I could be thinking about anything. I’m thinking about finishing my engineering degree, I’m thinking about ringing my mother, I’m thinking about investing in your diner-”

“it’s not my diner-“

“it will be when I invest in it. One of my stipulations.”

“Wouldn’t that be buying the diner?”

“Don’t get all technical on me, Evans.”

“Apologises. You were saying you were going to give me the diner.”

“Yes, what a great boyfriend I am.”

“You’d be even better if you just gave me the money.” Lily spun the phone cord around her finger, grinning as James laughed.

“C’mon, I’d let you rename it and everything. ‘Lily’s’ has a ring to it.”

“Unoriginal.”

“What would you call it?”

“I dunno. ‘Star Wars’ or something. Get some publicity off the lawsuit.”

“Moony would defend you.”

“Ah yes, with his degree in financial law.”

“I didn’t say he’d be any good at it.”

Lily smiled. “How’s California?”

“Boring without you guys.”

“Don’t let Remus hear you say that.”

“Eh, he’d say the same.” James paused, “Sirius alright?”

Flashes of Sirius, flushed, spread on the carpet, What if everyone was right? Head lolling, party over, I don’t know where I’m going. I thought I’d know.

“Yeah. Last night he tried to make you guys a Wikipedia page.”

James snorted, “He’s been trying to do that since high school.”

“Don’t say ‘he’ like you weren’t also trying.”

James, again, grinning. She can tell from an ocean away. “You sleeping?”

“With other people? No.”

“Thank god for that, but really. My sources say you’re even more awake than usual.”

“Sirius doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“My sources are actually highly knowledgeable.”

“But still can’t make a Wikipedia page.” He doesn’t say anything, and Sirius is such a traitor. He has him worried. “I’m fine, really. Just a bit of a weird one. I’m going to sort it out.” She meant it.

“Okay. Don’t be pissed off at my sources, Marlene also ratted you out.”

“Terrible mates.” Lily lied.

“Yeah, worse luck, having people give a shit about you. Just wait till you own the diner, then they’ll only want you for your money.”

“Tell me about it, why do you think I’m with you?” And again, miles away, he laughed.

Lily Evans to crab on the cob: sirius just started doing karaoke

Remus Lupin: I didn’t know byo’s did karaoke

Lily Evans: neither did the owner

Lily Evans: the whole byo is now singing take on me

Lily Evans: we’re doing mamma mia next

Lily tapped on the window and Sirius, smoking outside, swung around. She pointed to other side of the bar, past the people, where Marlene and Nathan were grossly making out against the pinball machine. Sirius made a face, stamped out his cigarette, and went inside.

“Christ, you can see the tongue from here.” He took the beer out of Lily’s hand and drank some, “No respect for the festivities.”

“At least someone is getting some.”

“Aw, Lil,” he nudged her arm, “I’ll hook up with you if you want.”

“I’d rather eat glass, but thanks though.”

“Anytime.”

She took her beer back from him. Mary, a few feet in front of them, was drinking a ghastly pink thing that James used to call flamingo piss, and talking to Diner Natalie (as Sirius called her) about Love Island. Narelle, who had gotten wind of the party, was standing by the counter arguing with the bartender about the peanuts on offer.

“Twenty-three Evans,” Sirius said, echoing her, “You’re proper old now.”

“Still younger than you though.”

“Funny how that works.” He took her beer again. She couldn’t remember when they had started drinking the same brand. It had been such a long year, but next month the boys would be home for three weeks and this morning James had sent flowers and Remus a vase, and Sirius said he’d pay the water bill so technically it was a three-way gift. You could practically hear Remus’ eyeroll through the phone. They were too good to be believed.

“’Glad I live with you.” Sirius said, suddenly, holding her now finished beer. “You’re- I’m just glad. I’m glad it’s you.”

Lily looked at him, “Me too.” She said, and squeezed his wrist. He knocked a hand against her thigh. This was the real gift.

“Offer to hook up still stands.”

Lily laughed, “You know, if you think about it you’re one hook up removed from Nathan.”

“What?”

“You fucked Mar, Mar is now getting felt up by Nathan. That’s, like, one degree of separation. I’m not getting with anyone whose gotten with Nathan-“

“Okay, wow, I have not gotten with- wow, this is low, I’m being nice and you’re out here saying I’ve fucked Nathan-“

“Hey, no judgement and no murders and all that, but I have ground rules-“

Sirius, laughing, “I hate you. That’s my ground rule.”

Lily, singing: “And happy birthday to meee-“

“God, get away from me. I can’t believe I’ve accidentally hooked up with Nathan.”

“Maybe getting me another beer would make you feel better.”

“Wow, you’re always looking out for me huh?”

“You know it. Make sure it’s chilled, would you?”

#yes i have been promising this for going on a year but its done!! its large and finished #sirius black #lily evans #carolineswritingtag #no murders!! no murders till they die!! probably from sleep deprivation as theyre both A Mess thank god they have each other #atlas verse #anyway please do talk to me abt this i feel like ive been picking at it forever please tell me what works and what doesnt #bc at this point i have no clue all i know is that lily loves sense and sensibility and sirius eats straight (ha) sour cream

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modernauwritingsass · 5 years

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Please could you write abt the girls having a girls night! :D

Yes! god of course I can I am so blessed by this ask thank you for feeding my brain. Also I apologize if near the end it seems rushed or weird, and that it took so long! I hope you like it!

Girls Nights

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Word count: 2357

Warnings: none

“You two are not allowed to join!” Desmond pouted, crossing his arms.

“Why not?” Kassandra crossed her arms, an eyebrow raised.

“It’s a boys night, meaning no girls are aloud”, Ezio piped in, resting his arm on Desmond’s shoulder. “So you two better find something to do on Friday”.

With that, Ezio closed the door to their dorm, leaving Kassandra and Evie to walk back to their own dorm and ponder on options for Friday night.

Kass flopped on her bed face down, staying there for a few moments before turning her head towards Evie, who sat on her bed, thinking. “We could go bowling”.

“We don’t have enough money to go bowling”.

“Unless-”

“No stealing”. Evie sent a slight glare towards Kass, before letting herself flop onto her side. “We could go hunting for ghosts”. Her eyes lit up, a smile creeping its way onto her face.

“No thanks”. Now Kass sent a glare. “How about we raid their little boys night?”

Evie sighed, “No let them have their fun, less problems to worry about, and less testosterone”.

There was silence for a while, before Kassandra shot upright into a seal stretch. “Then how about more estrogen?”

“Estrogen?”

“Yeah!” She jumped to her feet, hands clenched into a fist, fire dancing in her eyes. “We can have our own, better girls night!”

“Where would we have it?”

They both stared at each other for a bit, before throwing their hands in the air. “Aya’s house!”

The duo began planning their night out, and who they would invite. Eventually, it came time to call and ask Aya if they could host the event at her home. Evie dialed her number, and put it on speaker as soon as it started ringing. It rang three times before it was answered.

“Who is this?” It was Khemu.

“Evie and Kassandra. How are you Khemu?” Evie asked.

“I’m good, do you need my mother?”

“Yes, is she there?”

“Hold on,” he pulled the phone away from himself, and started yelling into the distance. “Mom, Evie and Kass called, do you want to talk to them?” There was a muffled yell in response, and soon Evie and Kass both heard Khemu run, and hand the phone off.

“Hello?” Now it was Aya.

“Hey Aya!” Kass leaned over the phone as she greeted Aya, causing Evie to lean back, sending a glare towards her.

“Hello Kass, and Evie. What did you call me for?”

Evie glanced at Kassandra, before looking down at her phone. “As you may know, the guys are having a boys night, and we were planning on having our own girls night. We were wondering if you would let us use your home, and if you would like to come as well.”

There was silence for a bit. “Who else do you plan on inviting?”

Kass glanced at the list Evie wrote. “Aveline, Elise, Maria, and Sofia.”

“Let me talk to Bayek, and I will call you back.”

“Alright, talk to you in a bit.” With that, Aya hung up.

The two stared at the phone, unsure of what else to do while they waited for her to call back.

After about five minutes, Evie’s phone rang again. As expected, it was Aya. Evie answered, and put the phone on speaker.

“I talked with Bayek. We both agreed that it can be held at our house”.

Kassandra cheered. “Yeah! Thanks you guys!”

“Your welcome”. Some shuffling was heard on the other end. “What time do you guys plan to head over?” After talking about the plan for Friday, Aya said goodbye and returned to whatever she was doing.

Evie and Kass called the other woman, and they all agreed to go.

Friday arrived, and Evie was already at Aya’s house helping prepare it for the night. Bayek and Khemu had yet to leave for their night with the boys, but Evie insisted on lending a helping hand.

“I tried to get Kassandra to help as well, but she insisted that she had to do something before our plans”.

“She is probably visiting Kyra”. Bayek replied, pulling out the vacuum from the closet.

“Thank you for helping Evie”. Aya flashed a smile, before continuing to sweep the kitchen.

A knock was heard from the door, “I’ll get it!” Bayek called out, leaving the vacuum to go towards the door. He opened it, revealing Kassandra on the other side, carrying many bags.

“Bayek! You’re still here?”

“I was just about to vacuum. However, since you are here now,” He stepped to the side, allowing her to enter the home, and closed the door. Bayek walked towards the living room, and picked up the vacuum, handing it to Kassandra. “You can do it for me, so that Khemu and I aren’t late”.

“We still have an hour-” Khemu began but was cut off by his dad.

“No we don’t now grab your stuff.”

Khemu ran upstairs and soon came down with his backpack, grinning at Kass. “Bye mom!”

“Bye Khemu, be good”. She kissed his forehead, and then kissed Bayek. “Have fun”.

“We will. Goodbye Evie and Kassandra. '' Bayek gave a small wave before heading out the door after Khemu.

“Bye Bayek!” Kass and Evie said in unison, as they finished up cleaning the place.

Soon after they finished, everyone else arrived. Maria and Elise arrived first, both 5 minutes early. After them, Sofia, and Aveline arrived 2 minutes after Sofia. With everyone at the house, the activities could commence. However, they first laid out the blankets, sheets and comforters on the floor, where they would all sleep together, and where the majority of the night would take place. Everyone had brought their own pillow, but that didn’t stop them from getting extra pillows for comfort.

Kass pulled out her list of activities that she wanted to do, sitting on the blankets. “Ok I planned out things for us to do, so let's just get started.” She grinned pulling out a walmart bag. “First thing is that we all are wearing onesies.” She handed everyone a onesie demanding that they change into it. After it was all done, Aveline was dressed as a squirrel, Aya as a dog, Maria a moose, Sofia a Badger, Elise a dolphin, Evie a crow, and finally Kassandra a hawk. Looking at the list, the Spartan grinned widely, and pulled out another bag, bulging an attempt to contain whatever was within. She unzipped the top, and almost immediately blankets could be seen from the inside of the bag. “We are making a fort!”

So, they got to work. Grabbing chairs, books and other household items to support their fort, laughing the entire time, discussing the best way to place everything.

“Can someone get that chair for me?” Aveline pointed across the hall into the dining room.

“Do it yourself.” Kass playfully stuck her tongue out at Aveline, placing a textbook on a blanket in order to hold it up.

“I’m trying to hold this up so the fort doesn’t collapse”.

Maria looked up from her corner or work, “Is that the bottom blanket?”

Aveline nodded in response, and Elise was quick to grab the chair for support. In the end, their fort stood strong, and they all were about to crawl in when Kass stopped them.

“I have a game planned for us.” She disappeared into the fort, and soon came out with ‘Twister’ in her arms.

“Let’s move to the other room for more space.” Aya said, already walking down the hall towards the dining/kitchen room, the others right behind her. Once they laid out the game, they decided to play the elimination style. Aya decided to be the referee her reasoning being, “I want you all to have a chance at winning”. Aveline and Evie were teamed up, then Sofia and Kassandra, and lastly Maria and Elise.

The first team up would be Aveline and Evie, versus Sofia and Kassandra. Aya spinned the pinwheel, and so the game started. Sofia moved first, then Aveline. Kass went next, then Evie. They went for a while, but it wasn’t long until Sofia fell, and was out of the game. Aveline soon followed, her determination getting the best of her and causing her to make a reckless decision. Now, Evie resided underneath Kassandra, while the latter hovered over her, barely maintaining her balance.

“Evie, move your right foot to a green space” Aya looked up from the pinwheel.

Looking at her right foot that perched on a red circle, she carefully lifted it up, and moving it across the board, attempted to place it on the circle. She began to wobble, and in an attempt to get her foot to its destination, she leaned towards her right foot, and consequently fell. “Dammit!” Evie huffed, as Kass laughing loudly above her.

“Well Aveline, Evie, you are both out of the game”. Aya announced, looking towards Maria and Elise. The duo cheered, before getting ready play, as Sofia and Kass readied themselves once more.

The game began once again with Sofia, who was out two rounds in. The other three now competed against each other, shoving a bit in an attempt to win. Eventually, Kassandra managed to knock Elise, who gave out a breathy “bon sang” before leaving the board, leaving Maria and Kassandra to fight for the title of winner.

“Maria move your left hand to a red circle”.

Maria lifted her hand, and was about to move when she noticed Kass in the middle of a red circle and her hand, and decided to use this as an advantage, considering she was in an awkward position. She braced herself, and quickly shot her hand out to the circle, shoving her shoulder into her opponent, causing her to collapse to the ground from the sudden force and her lacking support position.

“Malaka!” Kass threw her arms up, frustrated, as Maria stood up and high-fived Elise, cheering. Aveline and Evie pouted at their loss, and Sofia congratulated the winners, while giving Kassandra a small pat of reassurance.

“I think we should eat before we do anything else.” Aya stood up from where she was sitting. “Let’s pick this up”.

After cleaning up, they ate some food that Sofia made, and were ready for whatever Kass had prepared for them to do.

“Ok now for the last thing planned, we are going to play Perfection!” Pulling out the box, she set it up, as the others looked at the game in confusion.

“What game is this?” Elise questioned, leaning over slightly to get a better look.

“It’s a board game where you have to fill in all the little holes with the right shapes before the timer runs out. If you don't then,” Kass shrugged “You will find out later.”

Maria grabbed the box, and opened it, pulling out a plastic box-like object from the cardboard box. She flipped it around, and the noise of something moving around inside caught everyone’s attention.

Aveline motion to flip it over with her hand. “Check the back”.

Sure enough, when Maria flipped it over, there was a flap on the back, and upon opening it, a bunch of little yellow pieces sat inside. She shook them out onto the blankets, and soon they had the game set up. Kassandra announced that she would go first, and grabbed the pieces, and placed them in front of her, and rotated the board toward here. She got the timer ready, pushed the part with the cutouts deep into the box, and got Sofia to press start since she began with her hands behind her back.

“3...2...1...go!” Sofia pressed the switch to start, and the timer started ticking, as Kass frantically started to put the pieces into their right holes. The time was ticking, and Kass was shaking with thrill, putting in the last pieces into their rightful holes. Suddenly, she reached out and jammed her finger on the switch, stopping the timer.

“I got 45 secnds!” Kass winded the timer again, dumped the pieces out, and passed it to her left, where Aya sat. “Your turn!”

So they went around, taking turns, and laughing with a few screeches when they wouldn’t finish on time, and the board would spring up suddenly, startling nearly everyone. Eventually, they put the game away, and got ready to sleep. Evie got up to get some water, Aya’s cat in her arms. There was silence, the only noise being Evie cooing the cat and her cup filling up with water.

“So, anyone got some ghost stories?” Sofia asked, only to receive a harsh shushing from Kassandra. But it was too late, the damage had been done. The water went silent as frantic footsteps could be heard. For a brief second, the shadow of the Frye twin could be seen hovering above the blankets, before it disappeared, and two heads popped through the opening, one a cat and the other, Evie Frye.

“Someone say ghost stories?” She grinned like a madwoman, excited at the mere thought of the supernatural. Thankfully for Kassadnra’s sake, Aya was quick to inform Evie she could only tell one story, much to Evie’s dismay. However, she told it, and after that, everyone went to bed in their respective areas.

The next morning, they woke up to Aya putting Eggo waffles in the toaster. {cat} had stayed by Evie’s side the entire night, however she/he was quick to leave her side when she woke up. Everyone ate breakfast, chatting, eventually breaking off to change out of their onsies and into their clothes they brought.

Aveline walked up to Kass, “Kassandra, here is the onsie” she handed it towards her, but gave a perplexed look when the latter pushed her arm away.

“Keep it! I don’t need them!”

Aveline smiled, “Thank you.”

They cleaned up their area, packed up all their things, heading back to their homes.

Upon arriving back to their dorm, the sound of a vacuum could be heard, and upon peering into the biggest room, they saw an upset Arno angrily cleaning a mess.

“Hey Arno, what happened?"

"Don't get me started".

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