#this is going to sound ridiculous ok

[thedreadvampy]

The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.

It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.

#red said #i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life #my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me #like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy. #anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is. #but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was #like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it #i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen. #I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles #and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences #and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma #obviously microtraumas build up but still. #then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma #is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING #told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip #and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain #until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position #and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific #and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with #like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex #out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage? #and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh #so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea #that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting. #like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.

[rosicheeks]

😓🤬

#I fucking hate doctors and the medical field so much #I was FINALLY starting to get on the right path #called a php place and think I know where I’m going #have a therapist I’ve been talking to here and there #I’ve been trying to get into a psych evaluation right? #called 5+ places the other day and they all had 5-8 month long waitlists #I need to get most of this shit done before June #so that ain’t gonna work #called the psych place my doctor referred me to #(would like to add that I did call this same place right after my doctor visit a few months ago and they never called me back) #so I had no hope they were even going to pick up #I was shocked when I heard someone picked up and even more shocked when they said they had an opening for fucking Wednesday #literally I felt like everything was finally aligning #I scheduled the appt for a zoom meeting at 10am #then I get a bunch of random emails saying my appointment was changed #now I have two different appointments- Wednesday and Thursday both at 9am and with a totally different doctor #so I was like???? ok guessing something happened but I didn’t think much of it - called to figure out what day it actually is #when I called to confirm they told me that I can’t be tested until I get an internal referral #I told them I did get a referral??? #they looked at it and it was just a referral for depression not adhd or anything else #but then when they looked more into it they found in the notes she wanted me to get adhd testing #SO she just forgot to add it to my referral #I get people make mistakes #but this is like the 4th time something like this has happened lately #I’m just trying to be healthy #and it is fucking RIDICULOUS how incredibly hard it is to find the proper help #also the girl yesterday when I made the appointment said yes to all my questions but sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about #was like ‘does this test for adhd and autism?’ ‘yeah for sure’ and then I find out they don’t even test for autism #so now I have to find a totally different person to either do both or just test for autism #either way I feel incredibly disheartened and overwhelmed and sad

[feekins]

me stumbling upon Twitter migrants with "pr0sh¡p dni" in their profiles like

#text postan 2k23 #the daily life #humans are multi-faceted bro #I promise you already know plenty of ppl who are into some dubious-sounding shit #that don't mean they're bad ppl #and going through life insisting that everyone you interact with be 100% “wholesome” in all ways all the time #is a great way to alienate genuinely good ppl #and attract some genuinely not-so-good-intentioned ones #like ppl who try to ruin the lives of ACTUAL IRL HUMAN BEINGS over shit in fiction #you don't imprison an author for writing a fictional murder mystery #bc ① that's ridiculous and ② things that happen in fiction DO NOT have the same weight or consequences as the same thing happening irl #bomb in fiction = death of fictional characters #bomb irl = death of actual human beings and injury of others and their property + trauma + a million other things #THEY. ARE. NOT. THE. SAME. #please please PLEASE remember this!!!!!!!!! #I was here to witness p much the entire 2010s malicious “social justice” tumblr era lmao do NOT fuck with me 🫠 #now take care and enjoy ur stay ok 🫂

[munamania]

my one friend going to LA on this trip is gonna make me spend time around her boyfriend 😐 can he just go sit in a room somewhere instead while we go out.

#why did you invite your bf to come all the way to cali to visit girl this is stupid. and within the first week? like ok. #like maybe perhaps i don’t want to be around a boyfriend and one of his friends. he had absolutely zero personality the one time i met him. #like nothing he had the charm of a potato. except i like potatoes. i sound like in middle school dissing but i’m being so serious #i’m gonna just ignore him hopefully and pretend he isn’t there but goddamn. could we not have done that #also once again so tired of spending money when i don’t need to and being seen as fussy and ridiculous if i don’t just go along with that #cause it’s easier. like. well we do in fact have to pay for convenience and i can’t afford to do that for everything #this heat is making me miserable rn but it’s not even that i just want to have fun #and also i want to not have to stress abt travel. and also being away for a month is so scary #abby talks #like i promise i’m very anxious too i just couldn’t ask my mom or sister to come spend time so i didn’t have a panic attack so i could go #early. like. and now you have to have the boyfriend come too. okay.

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

love spending three hours waiting for my mom to be ready to watch a show together only to be told it’s too late once she finally finishes doing other stuff. girl we agreed to watch this tonight what do you mean I’M too late. i was HERE. i was ready the whole time… YOU were the one doing things you could have done tomorrow!!!

#it’s like how is that my fault. secondly ok i’m watching it without you then if you’re gonna leave for ten days again #i love how she has not considered the idea that maybe spending like. a week every month with her sister is creating a situation that is more #stressful for her because now she has to worry about constantly planning something. like i can’t even help you with that mom 😐 #beth.txt #like yes i know she wants to spend time with her sister because their other sister just died i get it #but like. you are already doing so much wrt that death. and you aren’t even done. and now you’re also constantly on a deadline about where #you even ARE. it’s ridiculous #ok i know it sounds like i’m the dick in this situation for caring about a tv show but like genuinely there was an agreement and EYE was #one hundred percent THERE. i could have been doing anything else for three hours if i was just going to be waiting for nothing #and again i can’t stress enough that everything she was doing could have been done tomorrow. you don’t need to call an airline about a #refund at 10pm ok that’s so unnecessary mom #she like sincerely has a problem about only getting stressed out about doing everything at night #my dad has the opposite problem he does everything in the morning. so you can imagine what living here is like. #nobody ever wants to fucking chill. relax even. #the really horrible thing is that I’M an afternoon girl. #so we’ve got my dad running around in the morning. me in the afternoon. my mom at night. horrible situation. we should all get therapy.

[cistematicchaos]

😭 Why did my sister tell me she already has to work despite the pandemic so she might as well go to a concert. Why.

#I- #I just started laughing bc #it sounded so ridiculous??? #like I thought it was a joke! #but then she started talking about how she needs to go out #bc of her mental health #which ok whatever but a CONCERT????? #I cannot with people #I just cannot #wtf #chaos is speaking

[skenpiel]

oh wow they werent kidding when they talked about an embarrassingly long footnote about kirk not being gay in the tmp novel

#half the fucking page. including a quote from kirk himself on the subject. where he sounds like an alien trying to pretend to be a human #‘i prefer the creature (in italics) woman’ #im gonna lose my goddamn mind #‘so kirk we noticed you and spock refer to yourselves as what literally translates to ‘lovers’ and ‘soulmates’. are you a couple?’ #and kirk is like. pssssh thats ridiculous i could never date spock because id wanna have sex with him more than once every 7 years #i happen to only be attracted to this obscure earth creature known as ‘woman’ or um [checks smudged writing on hand] ‘email’ #like. yeah ok #roddenberry……. why did you go through the trouble of writing this footnote when YOU made up the WORD #you didnt HAVE to make it mean lovers you know!!!!!!!! #nobody was forcing you to do that!!!! help!!!!!!!

[v-iv-rusty]

I forgot how obnoxious every game launcher that isn't steam is

#misc.txt #'ok before you do anything you have to download our special launcher :) that throttles download speeds a ridiculous amount you cant fix it' #'it will take over an hour to install btw :)' #'ok now link it with your steam and verify it 5 times' #'ok now for this SPECIFiC game you have to link your account from this other company :) :) oh you don't have it? go make one :) :)' #'and then verify it 5 more times while praying until it finally decides to work for no apparent reason : ) ' #'ok now you just have to link the accounts in your browser! oh its not working. idk why lol it just is not :) :) sounds like a you problem' #'now just wait 10 hours for your 90gb game to install at 100kb/s :) :) :)' #fucking kill me #I didnt even want to buy it on that platform it was just 3x cheaper.....

[nazumichi]

the episode of a media I like that I made up all on my own in my head for content and self-indulgent purposes is my best friend in the whole world.

#raii talks a lot #anyohe else do that like make up whole episodes. like the intro will play in my head and then I stitch scenes together and I will make up #my own purposely barebones episode description and the music and exact voices are in my brain and it’s a lot less cool than it sounds bc #my ideas are stupid as hell and I’m staring out the window the whole time #was thinking about it while I was drawing it like. birthday girl you know the one and I was like. hey. I personally could make something out #of this. and i did. #she probably tells people like “hey I’m entitled to the contents of your bag bc it’s my birthday” “let me do this it’s my birthday” #UNLESS it is you know. the people she sees everyday you know the ones she chooses to spend time with #michiru never would’ve found out/done anything abt it if she hadn’t coincidentally asked him about it the day before #and he’s like “this is a trap this is a trap— tomorrow in fact. don’t do anything ridiculous you know how she is.” order ignored #ok my synopsis is like. she her pink gf and her uncle are like “ok ignoring what he justsaid what do we get this mean lady we care abt for #some reason” and they go to the mall and get caught up in some illegal business thatshirou gets them out of near the end and he’s like “LITE #*LITERALLY WHAT DID I TELL YOU NOT TO DO” too late #he doesn’t care too much he’s got gift covered and also specifically said “don’t makea big deal out of this you know how she is” #but no one in area house listens to him which is. fair. RAMBLING JSHSGHJSSJHGWJ SHUTTINF UP NOW

[kuiinncedes]

ok

#first game day or whatever and i thought it was a car or one of the weird like weed cars or something lmao #but it’s not bc the sounds not moving XD #but they’re BLASTING music somewhere kinda close to us 😂😭 #first it was like the school game day song ????? idk what the actual significance of the song is lmfso but i think we just #use it a lot or something shfhdjdhd and now they’re playing timber #and shouting lol bruh is this like on our street or something wow why XD #how did we get so lucky dhdfhdjd #i was awake but what a way to get woken up lol ok #not me still not having gone to a football game and every time i day that someone is like #WTF YOU HAVE TO GO TO AT LEAST ONE #and i’m like what ifffff i don’t give a shit about footballlllll 🤪🤩🥳🥰🤡 #idek what they’re blasting anymore i just hear bass sounds kinda lmfao ok #jeanne talks #they’re also just talking very loudly lmao sigh guess i’ll probably have to get used to this #at least it wasn’t a ridiculously early time on a weekend although it was still pretty early sjfhfdhdj #oh cool they’re screaming too lmao

[skrunksthatwunk]

god im so mad at myself rn. i have multiple assignments and i SHOULD be doing them or sleeping or doing the Massive Neglected Amount Of College Stuff or making my mom's bday present (it's tomorrow, haven't started). you wanna know what i did instead? you wanna know what I've been sitting on the floor doing for the past hour and a half?

i (non-polish speaker but interested in the concept of being one) decided I'm gonna learn all the words to hej sokoły. yeah the folk song. this is not the first time this has happened with this song either. I'm so mad what the fuck is happening. i would still like to kiss whoever made the word skowroneczku on the mouth with tongue bc it's the best vocal stim but fuck off othwrwise you're ruining my LIFEEE

#aaaaaaaaararararrragghgghggg ok #this is so stupid #and like. GOD #dude what the hell #im biting back so many 'what the hell is wrong with me's bc the answer is probably some flavor of unaddressed neurodivergency #but that doesnt mean i have to be happy about it when it's making me do dumb shit #ruining my life because of a fucking 19th century war song im gonna shit bricks #it's a banger but it's not worth this cmon brain work with me here #yes i had a 3 week polish duolingo obsession that i dropped a while back and yes that's why my name on here is mysz #gotta get the nuances of all the zh esque sounds down though bc theres so fucking many in polish wth #czie and dzie and cz and cie and sie and zie and że so on and they all sound very slightly different in ways that are probably important #anyway this is all very frustrating and im probably not even gonna fo any of those things #this was the last straw in a series of penis ridiculous distractions and bad choices of the evening #same energy as my maud feelings but I Need To Go Now Please Let Me Go etc #and i literally know im gonna go do another round at least just to see what ive maintained just in case yk one cant hurt right #and then thatll be the next hour too #hell hell hell #thats the kicker too is i dont think itll stick with me #i mean ive remembered the chorus for months but thats different #AAAAA IM DOING IT AGAIN #FUCK

[perenlop]

.

#can my mom like. please not jump to conclusions and be all weird about me #so bit of context for earlier post is that i was eating breakfast and i just woke up and my mom walked in and greeted my happily #and i just gave like a casual ''hey'' bc my mouth was full and she was like ''LOL wtf thats so rude! lets try again. hey!'' #and i said hey again but tried to make it sound more chipper but failed bc im tired and she just groaned and walked into the other room #and we're supposed to go to the river today but shes trying to make plans to go today and tomorrow bc my aunt is coming today #and aunt has a tendency to try and keep people around for very late despite previousplans and my mom always goes with it #so she wants a day with just us. issue is i have to go into college tomorrow to do a meeting and i wanted to study #which. btw i told my mom abt earlier in the week saying id ask to attend virtually but she shut it down and INSISTED i go in person #and whatever plans we have dont matter so i should just go ahead and dedicate the day to schoolwork #so i remind my mom of this and suddenly shes like ''wtf. ur staying the whole day? cant you go for just the meeting and leave?'' #which i didnt want to do bc the meeting is less time than the drive and she literally told me to stay the entire day #so i remind her and she gets frustrated and mad telling me i ''shouldnt limit myself and i should decide to go either today or tomorrow'' #but probably should just study today bc ''well youre clearly in a bad mood for how u greeted me today so maybe you shouldnt come'' #and basically ''come when youre in a better fucking mood tomorrow'' and like. well i WASNT in a bad mood i was just tired #but damn ok now i fucking am bc now youre getting mad at me for plans YOU fucking suggested i do #when i had a completely different plan at first that u tried to make out to be ridiculous #fucking hate it when she does this she also did it on vacation where she got snappy and passive aggressive and rude to me #bc she THOUGHT i was in a bad mood at the park when i wasnt. i just hadnt woken up all the day and wasnt talking #but instead of asking abt it or anything like that she got pissed and basically treated me like shit the whole day #and then when i confronted her she was just like ''ok we BOTH messed up i GUESS can we put it behind us'' #it makes it hard to talk to her when theres an actual problem bc i try to communicate and she just takes it as a personal attack #so now i dont want to go out today just bc my moms being shitty and accusing me of not liking her sister (which ngl i really dont) #and yeah i dont want to stay out late when i did want to get at least one reading done today #but i had everything prepared and now i have full obligations to tomorrow bc she insisted i go ahead #and now shes acting like i did that to spite her #its so exhausting. probably gonna take like separate cars tho tbh so can leave even i f they get sucked in #and use the work as an excuse #echoed voice

[flocon-tourne-en-rond]

(See the post about not being superstitious but maybe being a little stitious? Turns out I've been making up many tiny beliefs the past few years, and readopting some from my childhood also)

#i carve guardians in chestnuts and avocado pits and leave them around the flat in slightly inconvenient places #if they fall and break it's ok #it means in doing so they protected you from something ranging from slight inconvenience to threatening occurence #you can repair them once but if they break again they get retired #retired guardians must have their remains placed in nature in a pretty place or buried in a place of significance for the one retiring them #which of course means you can't repair them with any kind of glue #it has to be in a way so they're still fine to bury or leave in nature somewhere #also i never go empty handed to the forest and never come back empty handed either #but everything i leave has to be biodegradable and everything i take has to be either litter or already fallen or fruit/mushroom #i tend to leave mushrooms alone though because i can't recognise the ones that'd kill me/make me sick #i avoid lighting a candle with another if i can because for some reason that feels rude #i purposefully make tiny ''mistakes'' in the quilts i make and give hearts to plushies #when i get ink stains on my hands i can wipe them or rinse them so they don't bleed on what i'm making/writing #but i don't wash them with the intention to remove them #except if i need my hands to be especially clean to bake or meet with adultier adults #i always draw a heart or smiling face on the pie crust with a fork before adding any kind of filling #and i'm sure i'm forgetting some #and most of these sound ridiculous even to me #but also they're not hurting anyone and they're important to me #so eh #parenthèse

[wild-at-mind]

I love writing my random shit on here, as a venue where I'm even the slightest bit anonymous but it still feels a little companiable, but I will say that I was feeling ok about myself today and then I scrolled tumblr for about half and hour and felt totally shit. No particular one thing caused it that I can think of, it was just the social media sickness I guess. So not sure what to do with that but I think I should learn from it.

#feeling ok for part of the day was nice though #every time this happens i get a conscious thought of 'wait i don't HAVE to feel like shit and be mean to myself all the time?' #and then i think wait does that mean i think that me being shitty to myself inside my head is helping something somehow?? #like achieving something? It sounds ridiculous when you aren't feeling bad but when you are you can't access it. #i compare my life to other people's too much and social media is full of other people's lives but nothing deep just the shallows #i long for deeper connections with people but social media makes me feel like i'm stuck on the outside #to the point where i almost forget who i am as a person (if i ever knew) #my sense of self even now at 34 is so fragile and i often feel like i'm still finding my feet as a person #and now since i came out as trans it feels like i'm starting again in a way #but not in a way where you get to go back and do any of your life again because no one can #so.....i feel like i hatched out of a cocoon yesterday and everyone else had this stage already because we are 30 something

[scarletblob]

Right now I really wish I could work seven days a week, because whenever I have a day off I end up doing nothing useful and then crying over the fact that my inability to do anything useful means I have no future prospects...

#all of my mood instability has returned to me after a few weeks' respite. hurrah for constantly crying over nothing #a coworker at my current job was joking that since I go to a university with a name I'll be able to get out and get a 'real job' in a year #but it's not true because I've not done anything I should have in that direction. no internships no networking nothing. and I'm so lost #it's funny that I once thought I could go through graduate school #I don't know if I'll even get my bachelor's degree on time anymore but I can't afford not to #I barely feel like a student at all #I just wish I were still somewhat good at doing something useful #and I'm so sorry to the instructors and deans etc. in my school who have to deal with my uselessness and cowardice #... OK that's more than enough wallowing in self-pity for now. I sound ridiculous even to myself so I'll shut up #complaining instead of doing my work

[steddiecameraroll]

both POVs on ao3

Eddie comes to a skidded stop outside the sailor themed ice cream shop. His Sam Goody bag slams into his shin from the sudden movement.

“Ow, shit.” He winces but tries to ignore the pointed pain from the corner of one of his brand new tapes poking his leg, and stares ahead at what he imagines must be an illusion.

Steve The Hair Harrington has his arm deep into some chocolate looking concoction, and suddenly Eddie wants to taste it. He’s not even much of an ice cream guy but this he cannot pass up.

Like a siren’s song, the little polyester shorts the sailor man is wearing calls to Eddie. He wonders if he could slide both of his hands up through the bottom of the legs.

Eddie steps into the bright lights and his ears fill with some ridiculous theme music. He wonders if Steve has ever tried to disembowel the sound system. Eddie would help him if he wanted assistance.

“Ahoy there!”

Eddie stands back watching Steve interact with a group of old classmates. He recognizes the young women from a couple of his classes last semester. Steve’s clearly flirting with them and missing by a mile.

Eddie hates to admit, even to himself, watching Steve fumble brings a smidge of joy to his heart. He may not be delusional and think that means he has a chance with Steve, but it does give him some kind of weird twinkle of hope anyway.

Right after the gaggle of women walk away, Eddie sees Steve lower his head and bang it gently on the countertop causing his adorable little hat to slip from his head.

“Buck up sailor boy,” Eddie grabs Steve’s hat and spins it around his finger.

Steve jolts and stands up, gawking at Eddie. “Munson? What are you…that’s my hat.” Steve snatches the regulated uniform accessory from Eddie’s finger and clutches it in his hand.

Eddie lets his eyes drag down the part of Steve’s body not hidden by the countertop, before flicking back to Steve’s face.

“Love the outfit, by the way. Really finishes off the whole ambiance.” Eddie wiggles his fingers around the space emphasizing the environment.

“I know it’s ridiculous, dude. You don’t have to rub it in.” Steve puts his hand on his hip and cocks his weight onto the opposite foot.

“Oh no, you misconstrue, my good man.” Eddie leans further into his hands coming closer to Steve’s face. “If I’m rubbing anything, it wouldn’t be your uniform.”

Eddie enjoys watching a beautiful blush rush up Steve’s neck onto his cheeks, before he diverts his attention onto the display case of flavors, giving Steve a moment to collect himself.

“What do you recommend?” Eddie runs his fingertip lazily across the glass.

“Um…” Steve takes a quick breath before putting on his customer service smile. “The USS Butterscotch is a favorite or the cherry’s jubilee. What do you usually get when you eat ice cream?”

“Wanna know a secret?” Eddie playfully whispers while leaning over the case.

“Um, ok.” Steve leans in closer.

“I’m more of a salty treat kinda man,” he winks, surprising himself with the weird level of confidence he’s slipped into.

Steve furrows his brows before leaning away and nervously scratching the back of his neck. He tries to chuckle in response as if understanding what Eddie’s implying but Eddie can tell Steve has no idea what he’s talking about.

“Well, then maybe-um-a parfait? Peanut butter? Or nuts…something with nuts?”

Eddie bites on his bottom lip trying to stifle a childish giggle keeping his eyes on the naive, adorable, sailor man. When Steve’s words finally register in his brain he awkwardly swallows hard, and shuffles on his feet trying to busy himself with something behind the counter.

“I could go for some nuts.” Eddie leans on his arms over the case. “What kinda nuts do you have, Stevie?”

“Um, just- y’know- normal ones. What kind do you like?” Eddie tracks the slow swipe of Steve’s tongue across his bottom lip.

Eddie lowers his voice before responding. “I’m sure I’d like anything you give me, captain.”

“Jesus,” Steve quietly huffs. “Uh, how about our peanut butter brickle topped with our candied almonds?”

Eddie keeps his eyes on Steve tracking his awkward movements behind the counter. Steve spins his scooper mindlessly in his palm, trying to channel his nervous energy.

“Sounds delicious. I’ll have one of those. Is there a show or anything I get with my treat?”

“A show?” Steve asks while grabbing a parfait cup from the stack on the countertop.

“Was just curious if there’s some kind of song or dance you have to perform in this adorable little outfit. Y’know, like that one restaurant in Chicago, Ed Debevic’s?”

Steve scrunches his nose and slides open the glass case. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Really? It’s this 50’s diner place where the staff are dicks. Nothing? Really?”

Steve shakes his head while reaching his arm deep into the ice cream tub. Eddie lowers his face to watch Steve through the glass. He wonders how sticky Steve is at the end of a shift.

“Is there a shower back there?”

“What?”

"In the back. Was just curious if you go home sticky or not."

"Um...no, I mean yes I'm generally pretty sticky at the end of my shift, but there's no shower...in the back. There's not really anything back there. Only a table and some safety posters, a white board that Robin shames me with." He trails off and Eddie wishes he could see this white board.

"Shames you? Robin...?" He has a hunch but isn't sure.

"Buckley? From school."

"Yeaaahhh, that's what I thought. Good for her." He means it.

Steve scrunches his face while finishing off the disgustingly sweet display of tasty deliciousness.

“Anything else I can get for you?” Steve gives Eddie his best customer service smile while setting the ice cream on top of the case.

A wicked grin spreads across Eddie’s face. “Naw I’m good. Unless… there’s something available that’s not on the menu.”

Eddie knows Steve is naive. Has never once picked up on his blatant flirting over the years, or at least doesn’t let it rattle him. But this utter display of fantasy is rotting away at Eddie’s resolve, and he’s seconds away from asking to suck on Steve’s sticky fingers.

He leans in front of the register and looks up at Steve through his eyelashes.

Pretty pretty boy.

“Um,” Steve looks around the empty restaurant, and then glances at something over Eddie’s head before turning his attention back. “Y-yeah, there is actually.”

Eddie thinks maybe he’s about to choke on his tongue as he attempts to swallow, waiting for Steve to continue.

“It’s in the back. Um, in the-in the break room. Wanna see it? Maybe?”

The fluorescent lighting above makes the beautiful shade of pink Steve’s cheeks are, into a warm glow. Eddie thinks he might be hearing angels sing or maybe it’s the dumb sailor music, but whatever it is it’s definitely music to his ears.

“Yeeaaah, definitely need to see it. Maybe wanna taste it even.”

Steve’s mouth is parted prettily, making Eddie wonder if his own tongue could slide between them easily.

Steve nods and bites down on his bottom lip, while motioning Eddie to follow around the opening of the countertop.

“Cool, very cool.” Steve walks backwards keeping his eyes on Eddie.

When Eddie steps behind the counter, taking in the entire outfit, he can’t control the subtle groan that emanates from his chest.

He’s gonna fuck this sailor silly.

*

They reappear 17 min later to a puddle of melted peanut butter brickle, an annoyed Erica Sinclair, and a better understanding of Eddie’s love of nuts.

Steve’s POV now both POVs on ao3

coffee? ☕️🍩💕

#eluding to a bj #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie ficlet #steve x eddie #steddiecameraroll posts #my writing