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danijimenezv · 7 years

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Who We Used to Be

Prompt/Summary: Based on “Two Ghosts” by Harry Styles

Pairings: Tony x female!reader

Warnings: angst, bittersweet moments, implied smut

Word Count: 2260

A/N: I wrote it for Bella’s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix Writing Challenge ( @whothehellisbella ). This takes place at the end of Captain America: Civil War. I didn’t exactly include the lyrics of the song, but I did make sure that it fits the plot :)

It had been a while since he had thought about her. Until that Friday afternoon, Tony Stark actually hadn’t thought about her for years, not really.

Tony had been working at the New Avengers for days, trying to come up with something to help Rhodes. To say he was going out of his mind was an understatement, especially after the events with Steve and the Winter Soldier. That’s why he found himself wandering around Fire Island beach, after hours of driving. He didn’t even know why exactly he had ended up there, he had just driven mindlessly.

The sand underneath his feet and the calm environment of the beach helped him think, and he found himself mulling over everything that had been happening lately, not only with Steve and the rest of the Avengers, but also with Pepper. Tony and Pepper were giving each other some time, being Iron Man finally taking its toll on her. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice the person approaching him. It took him a few seconds to finally register the face that was in front of him.

She looked exactly how he remembered, even if it had been more than a decade since they last saw each other. Her hair flowed freely in the wind, giving off the vibe of freedom, and her eyes sparkled as she too recognized him. She was still as beautiful in his eyes as ever; the only difference being the small crinkles by her eyes, and the way they seemed to hold a new world of knowledge and experience. Tony’s heart picked up its pace as he continued to gawk at her, and both stood in absolute silence for some minutes, studying each other with their stares. Finally, the woman broke into a friendly smile.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here again, Stark.”

“Y/N.” he sighed, “It’s been a while.”

“Indeed.”

“How have you been? I haven’t heard much about you these past years.”

“Can’t say the same about you, Iron Man.” she pointed out, laughing softly, “I’ve heard plenty of you. Every time I turn around, there you are, in the news, in some paper, or in a kid’s costume.”

Tony smirked, “Don’t pretend you don’t love seeing me so much.”

“Guess you’ll never know.” her face was a mask, and Tony was unable to know if she really did or didn’t at all, “I’ve been relatively good.”

“Still working as a doctor?”

“Forensics, yeah.”

“Kinda CSI, huh?” Tony chuckled under his breath slightly, but squirmed uncomfortably as her steely gaze seemed to look right through him, bore into his very core. As their eyes locked, Tony felt a wave of feelings washing over him, teleporting him back to the day they had first met, back to when he was barely 18.

“How bad is it?” her voice brought him out of the flashback.

“Bad? No one said anything about-”

“You can lie to anyone else, Tony, but not to me.”

She was right. Tony was used to keeping everyone at a certain distance, but Y/N practically knew him from the very start, and they had been together for years. There was no way he could hide anything from her, no matter how much he tried or how long it had been. Y/N frowned, one of her hands reaching up to cup and caress his cheek, but she suddenly became aware of what she was doing and retreated her hand slowly.

“Sorry, I know it’s been a while. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries.”

Tony simply dismissed the situation with a nod. He was oddly silent, uncharacteristic of him. Y/N had never seen him like that, not in the eight years they were together. He was different from the Tony she once knew; he had seen and experienced far too many things for her to even start to comprehend what changed him. Still, that didn’t stop her from trying to reach out to him, to be there for him, not baring how in despair he looked.

“Come on, I’ll take you to get a drink. You seem like you need one.”

“I don’t want to be anywhere public.” he scratched the back of his neck.

“My place sounds fine for you?” she asked, and Tony could see the sincere concern in her shining eyes, something that, still after more than a decade, still disarmed him completely, “I’ve got booze and it’s not out in the public.”

“I’d be worried about your life decisions if it were.” he joked.

They drove for about half an hour, just two people joking and reminiscing about the past. No one would have suspected they hadn’t seen each other in years; probably because, deep down, they never stopped thinking about the other. Once in her house, they settled down fairly quickly, as if being together was an old routine they remembered well. Tony got out two glasses from one of the kitchen cabinets, while Y/N gathered a bottle of whiskey and a bucket of ice. For the following hours, all they did was exactly the same they did in the car, remember moments they lived together and the best of those years. Some memories were happy, some were sad, and some were absolutely ridiculous, but each and every one of them reminded him of a time where everything was much simpler than the problems he was now facing at the moment with the Avengers. Tony honestly couldn’t point out the exact moment he had last felt as carefree and on ease, nothing comparing to how she was making him feel in that moment.

“Come on, gulp it down. I dare you.” Tony smirked, making Y/N gasp in offense.

“You think I can’t hold my drink?”

“Sweetheart, this is the third glass of whiskey you’ve had in the past two hours. I think you can’t handle any more, much less in one gulp.”

“Watch me.” she did as she was dared, not looking unfazed in the slightest, which surprised him deeply, “See, Stark? I told you I could.”

“I just have one more question.”

“Which is?”

“How did you manage to get whiskey on your nose?”

A deep, scarlet color adorned her cheeks, but as Tony laughed at her expression, he leaned forward to clean it for her. That was the mistake, or maybe that was exactly what he needed to do. Before he could stop to think about it, he just let go of his inhibitions and followed his instinct. He crashed his lips against her in a matter of seconds, and he was relieved as she returned the gesture with as much fervor as him. The kiss was full of desperation, lust and unspoken promises, and it filled both of their veins with adrenaline. They continued kissing, their limbs ending up tangled together as their tongues messily danced together, their mouths practically clashing together as the two of them chased their own desires.

“Bedroom?” he asked in a strained voice, barely separating from her.

She panted heavily, “Down the hall, last door on the right.”

Tony woke up in the middle of the night, stretching a bit and feeling the other side of the bed cold and empty. He reached out for his discarded boxers and his pants and put them on, somehow knowing, or more like hoping, that Y/N was wearing his shirt, just like the old times. He wandered around the halls for a few minutes, before he heard soft humming coming from the kitchen, and made his way there. Easily enough, he found the woman, hunched slightly as she searched for something in the fridge.

“Want anything, Tony?” she asked casually, startling him, as she retrieved a bottle of water.

“I’m fine.” he brushed off and took a seat at the table.

“Suit yourself.” she shut the fridge door closed.

Even without the house lights or the white light from the refrigerator, the moon was intense enough to light them. The moonlight made her silhouette stand out even more, and Tony couldn’t help but admire her beauty. He wanted to say something, but what? He felt a huge lump in his throat and his tongue tied in an impossible knot, making him unable to even utter a single word. Still, even if he didn’t feel as physically incapable to talk as he was feeling right then, he didn’t know what to tell her. ‘Thanks for tonight, I’ve gotta go’? He couldn’t be a jerk to her, not after everything they had lived together. Tony yearned with all his heart it could be as simple as he used. He wished he could tell her he still loved her as much as he used to, and that they could be together again. A happy, fairy-tale ending. However, no matter how much Tony tried, the same thoughts about her fluttered around in his mind. Y/N was a throwback, a beautiful one at that, but still a throwback to a time when he was young, unburdened and definitely not scared of love and loss. She was all he had back then, and he would always love her. But the heart-shattering, ground-rumbling love he once felt for the woman in front of her, that was gone, turning her simply into a beautiful memory, meant for him to remember some of the best time of his life by her side.

“I know what you’re thinking.” Y/N interrupted his line of thoughts.

“I don’t think you do, sweetheart.” he chuckled, trying to hide the bitterness with his wit.

“You’re thinking the same thing I am.” she stated, and somehow, he knew she was telling the truth, “It’s not what you expected.”

“Y/N, I-”

“I’m under no pretense here, Tone.” she sat down in front of him, taking his calloused hands in her soft ones, “ I know last night was a one-time thing only. I know how it is. After all, everything has changed.”

“Why do I feel so broken, then?”

“Because, deep down, you and I both wanted it to be just how we remembered.”

“I thought you were the one for me all along.” Tony continued stubbornly, “Meeting again after some years wasn’t supposed to work like that.”

“Oh, Tony. My Tony.” Y/N chuckled, “Not everything is like in the movies, no matter how much we want it to be. Don’t think of us as a failure. Think of us as a beautiful experience. Now, you can put that small bother in the back of your mind to rest. Maybe it’s just not meant to be. We can finally leave it in peace, in the past, and move on to whatever life has in store for us.”

“I felt like I used you, and I definitely don’t want you to feel or even think that.” he shook his head vehemently.

“In a way, we used one other. We were both trying to relive the past, trying to feel again how that was like.” she shrugged, “Please, Tony, I knew the existence of this possibility, of things ending this way. I knew what I was getting into, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“You were too important for me.” he kissed her forehead, “You still are. I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”

“Not your fault. We were young, just experiencing life.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have given up on us. What if-?”

“You and I...” she whispered, caressing his cheek lovingly as she stared softly at his warm brown eyes; the same eyes she had fallen in love with back all those years, and the same eyes she would always love no matter what, “You and I will always be unfinished business, just a torrent of ‘what if’s that never came to be. It’s too late now, but I don’t regret a thing. I love you, Tony.” she clarified, “Always have, and probably always will. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart… but I’m no longer in love with you. We’ve grown apart into two very different people, and we still have a lot to figure out on our own.”

“I’m sorry.” Tony held back a sob, “I’m sorry for what we could’ve been.”

“Me too.” she sighed sadly and, in a bold move, leaned towards him and placed her lips on his, in a last, cherishing kiss, “But do me a favor.”

“For you, anything.”

“Try to be happy once again.” she practically begged him, “That’s all I want for you. I don’t know how bad things are within the Avengers, but I’m asking you this because I care about you, Anthony Edward Stark, not Iron Man, not the infamous Tony Stark.”

“I never deserved you.” he let out a breathy laugh, standing up and pulling her to him as well, his strong arms snaking around her waist almost immediately, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“On the contrary, you always did.” she snuggled further in his embrace, trying to remember every little detail, from the way his arms held her tight with strength but still delicacy as if she was his whole world, to the way he smelled like the home she used to know, “That’s why I’m still here, and I’ll always be.”

“In my heart is a memory, and there you’ll always be.” he quoted, remembering one of her favorites, which, in turn, made her grin breath-takingly.

Their love story was over, but Tony Stark could brag he had the most epic and spectacular love story to ever tell with the one and only Y/N Y/L/N.

Tags: @whothehellisbella, @thinkwritexpress-official, @buckysberrie, @sebbytrash, @bovaria, @maybe-mikala, @a-little-hell-to-raise , @hunters-from-stark-tower

#bella's ctsjm #tony stark x reader #marvel fic #song challenge

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barre2barresg · 7 years

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Barre 2 Barre SG Interview Series: Ahilya (Part III)

Now you see her, now you don't! Many of you barrerinas have asked about the "new" instructor on the schedule, Ahilya.

Ironically, Ahilya was actually the first Barre 2 Barre (Singapore) instructor but left to Israel for four months to further her dance practice.

Needless to say, this barrerina has the poise, grace, and strength that all of us would only love to have! Read on for part 3 of our interview 3 series where we interview the resident barre-Dancer, Ahilya.

What does wellness and being healthy mean to you?

While wellness and being healthy means exercising regularly and mindfully as well as choosing to nourish my body as nutritiously as possible, a huge aspect of health and wellness to me is also mental. It includes having positive thoughts, being open minded and adventurous, being supportive of loved ones and strangers alike, doing things that make me happy and taking care of myself, and constantly remaining curious and developing myself as a person.

When it comes to exercise, a significant part of growth and moving forwards physically is mental. Our minds love to give up on us at the earliest signs of fatigue, but it is hugely rewarding when you allow your mind to drive you and challenge yourself to push past previous limits. In barre and dance, we always talk about awareness, having a mind-body connection, and moving with purpose and intention. To me, barre, dance, or other exercise is a microcosm of an individual’s place in life and their relationship with the world; if you can work thoughtfully and not give up here, you can apply these thoughts to daily life and always strive to be a more productive and motivated person. Acting deliberately, and choosing to do what serves me and others is what being healthy means to me.

Share with us a funny story related to barre.

It is always a fun time when we have photo shoots for Barre2Barre marketing or social media, because the barre teachers and staff get to put on some music, beautify ourselves, and have a lot of laughs while trying out intricate poses and shots.

One of the funniest days was when Jessica and I decided to attempt a very complicated position, somehow thinking it would be a breeze to achieve. It involved Jess lying on her back and propping each of my legs up with each of hers, while I would be in some sort of split position with my right leg coiled around hers, my body turned to one side, and my arms floating in the air. Executing this was a hysterical failure, and it ended up with me clinging on to our social media intern for dear life as I tried to get into position. All of us couldn’t stop laughing and we abandoned this shot. We’ll work towards it.

How did you get into BarreAmped and what are your future plans for barre?

I first started barre right after completing college in LA because it sounded like a fun and complementary workout to my dance practice. I tried it and was immediately hooked. I was amazed by how challenging it was for the whole body, how much coordination it required, and how strong and feminine it made me feel.

Barre became an important part of my morning routine at a time when I was freshly graduated and lacking structure in my schedule - it was both mentally and emotionally grounding which encouraged me to achieve things the rest of the day (I was a freelance dancer at the time).

I missed barre after moving to Singapore, and was really excited when a common friend introduced me to Jessica and Mylene before they opened Barre 2 Barre. I had already been thinking of getting certified to teach barre and was happy to be the first teacher hired by Barre 2 Barre when the studio opened last year.

Recently, I got certified to teach the higher levels of BarreAmped, which I’m enjoying doing these days. In the future, perhaps I would like to become a teacher trainer myself or open my own barre studio wherever I move next!

What is your favorite way (aside from barre) to keep fit and find some downtime?

Outside of barre, I am a contemporary dancer, dancing with T.H.E Second Company in Singapore. I also work on my own choreography projects and travel frequently to Israel to train and work on projects there. I also run regularly and love trying new exercise classes that challenge my body in unfamiliar ways.

Besides that, I find it both therapeutic and stimulating spending time outdoors (I especially love going to the beach and hiking when I’m in slightly cooler climates!), watching movies, cooking, painting, singing, reading, and working on any kind of creative aesthetic project, whether it’s photography-related, interior designing my room at home, and so on…

List your 3 dinner party dream guests, what would you talk about and what dish would you prepare for them?

J.K. Rowling – I grew up reading and loving the Harry Potter series; I was six when the first book came out and my mom starting reading it to me. She continued to read the entire series to me and my little brother aloud (even as we entered middle and high school!) because we enjoyed experiencing the whole story together.

Rowling, to me, is just a brilliant and incredibly articulate, sensitive, funny, and imaginative author. Plus, she’s a role model because of how she overcame monumental adversity in her life, as well as her outspoken nature and views on politics, feminism, and social issues. She has the most powerful yet elegant way of making a point.

I would prepare a sophisticated North Indian Mughalai meal for Rowling, because of its distinctive, refined aromas and because it is the cuisine my family is most associated with. It would feature raan (slow cooked lamb pot roast), peas simmered in a turmeric milk sauce, and fragrant rice flavored with saffron. Mango and vanilla ice cream for dessert. I would thank her for creating the world of Harry Potter, and we would discuss some insider wizarding intelligence, stories from her life, and current affairs.

The Obamas (Can I have Michelle too please?) – I think Obama was a fantastic president of the United States. I find both him and his wife gracious, graceful, intelligent, empathetic, and charismatic individuals.

I would cook them a Mediterranean-themed meal, including some savory pan-fried halloumi with sweet roasted figs, lots of bright and fresh salads with ingredients like mint, cucumber, and parsley, a hearty, lemony hummus, and a delicious shakshuka with sides of warm pita and tahini. Something involving pomegranate and mint for dessert. I would want to hear Obama’s most impactful stories from his time as president, and discuss ways people can do more for the environment and social causes.

Woody Allen – It is my dream to somehow be in a Woody Allen film one day. Allen is definitely my favorite director. I just love how signature his aesthetic is, starting from the moment his opening credits roll and cast members’ names are listed alphabetically, in the same font every time, like in a play program. I love the existential questions he grapples with, his offbeat sense of humor, and his stylistic choices – everything from characters’ wardrobes, to the picturesque locales his stories are set in, to the romantic soundtracks he implements (notably all the beautiful jazz).

Since he’s neurotic and could possibly be made anxious by peculiar foreign foods, and since a lot of his films are set in Europe, I would make him a French Provençal meal I once made my family in the south of France with ingredients from our garden. It would constitute pan-fried chicken marinated in an olive oil, lavender, and rosemary mixture, haricots verts and finely-sliced mushrooms cooked with butter, white wine, and caramelized shallots, a country salad, hot fresh bread, and red wine. Maybe some decadent chocolate cupcakes for dessert with buttercream icing that I learned how to swirl on in roses. I’m sure we would have some philosophical conversations and discuss ideas for his upcoming films.

List your 3 favorite travel destinations, and list 3 more that you want to travel to and why.

Tel Aviv, Israel – Tel Aviv is one of my favorite cities in the world. I visit primarily because it is a mecca for contemporary dance and home to many fantastic dance companies including Batsheva Dance Company, whose director developed a hugely popular and revolutionary movement practice called gaga. Taking gaga classes in Tel Aviv while getting to savor divine, fresh market fruits, veggies, and cheeses, swim in the turquoise Mediterranean Sea, and roam many beautiful artsy streets and neighborhoods are a few reasons I love Tel Aviv.

Los Angeles, USA – I lived there for five years so it has a special place in my heart. I love exploring all the distinct neighborhoods – enjoying a beach vibe in Venice or Santa Monica, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway to Malibu, having city experiences in Beverly Hills or West Hollywood, doing artsy things downtown, hiking in the Hollywood hills, or feasting on the best Korean barbeque in Korea-town.

Barcelona, Spain – I took a solo trip to Barcelona for the first time this year, and fell in love with the breath-taking and conceptual Gaudi architecture, delicious tapas restaurants and four-euro sangria, museums, and wide, beautifully manicured streets.

Iceland – I keep seeing pictures of mesmerizing and ethereal looking hot springs, ice caves, and geysers in Iceland! I would love to swim and hike there and soak in all the natural beauty.

Morocco – I would love to have some desert adventures in Morocco, stroll through bustling bazaars, and visit beautiful mosques.

Brazil – Brazil is such a huge, vibrant country, and I’ve always wanted to visit to enjoy the beaches, visit the Corcovado Christ statue, and perhaps learn how to samba. I also love and sing Bossa Nova, so listening to live music there would be a treat.

#barre2barresg #barrelife

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