#this isn't directed at anyone in particular im just starting to see a lot of it and i am. so. tired. i am so sad and angry. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deripmaver · 4 months

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was the wagon scene in berserk sexual assault?

i mean whatever lol. im ngl in some ways this feels like making a whole ass meta post about whether or not "casca enjoyed it." like do i even need to take this perspective seriously? yeah, yeah, i know, that's a pretty inflammatory thing to say, and a lot of the people who i've seen say the scene is NOT assault don't deserve to be belittled like that.

i think it's possible, and very interesting, to discuss the nuances of the scene. what was griffith's intention in that moment? why didn't casca bring up what happened to guts when he asked? how does this contradict or supplement what we already know about their characters?

per usual, though, most of the discussion of the scene itself put very little thought into one of the TWO main participants - casca. so let's do that, i guess, and look at the scene on the whole.

CW, i will show one eclipse panel (the kiss) in this meta, but that's is

what happens before?

the scene in the wagon comes immediately after the band of the hawk's encounter with wylad. wylad has thoroughly humiliated griffith in front of the entire band of the hawk, told them that griffith is totally defeated and broken, and tried to rape casca while griffith struggled uselessly, unable to help at all.

the band is regrouping afterward, and the reality of griffith's situation is sinking in to the members of the band. we don't know for sure if griffith can hear this, but the band is even discussing whether it makes sense for casca to permanently become the band's leader. where would that leave griffith? a burden, helpless, unable to even lead his own men.

griffith can, however, overhear casca talking to guts just a moment later. she says guts isn't reliant on griffith's dream, and griffith through the wagon can easily see their closeness.

at this point, casca goes to griffith in the wagon.

so where is griffith? his men, who despite his capture have been sustained by his dream, are losing their faith in him because wylad showed how utterly powerless he is. meanwhile, guts is touching casca in an intimate, close way. he feels like everything is slipping through his fingers, even his particular place of importance for guts. he's lost guts to casca. i would argue this piece, seeing casca intimate with guts, changes his mindset even compared to where he was during the scene with wylad.

where is casca? she's still clinging to that hopeless dream. she was so lonely as the commander of the band of the hawk, trying to face the reality of griffith's injuries and the overwhelming way that their roles have been reversed. she's leaning on guts, on anyone, for support for the first time, while being forced to put on a brave face not just for the whole band of the hawk, but for her idol and savior.

what happens during the scene?

casca is changing griffith's bandages. she knocks over a bowl of water, and when she goes to leave the wagon to replace it, griffith grabs her, and... well, that's kind of the whole crux of this meta, isn't it?

griffith forces himself on top of her. the question is why, and what's his intention? that's been discussed a lot on tumblr. the other question is: what does casca think his intention is, and how does she take it?

there is a lot of visual language in the scene that, to me, clearly indicates sexual intentions from griffith, and clearly indicates that's how casca takes his intentions.

side note, i think griffith is crying in the above panel. could be sweat, could be tears... it's subtle enough to leave it up to interpretation.

that last panel in particular is EXACTLY paralleled with the kiss panel during the eclipse. the helmet, the direct eye contact, the pose... miura has always been very intentional with his parallels and his paneling, so i doubt this was an accident. the eclipse panel is just below, btw. scroll quick if u dont wanna see

this is also how griffith and charlotte's sex scene started.

the wagon scene and the sex scene with charlotte happen because griffith is doing something rash purely on emotion after feeling stripped of all power and no longer in control of a situation. it's not as simple as griffith being an evil rapist from the start, but you can easily see a pattern of him lashing out and trying to regain control through pushy/coercive sex with women. would griffith do this kind of thing normally? no, of course not. but nothing about the situations he's at these points in the manga are "normal," and again there is a pattern of him lashing out and using women as an outlet for his feeling out of control. they ALSO both happen because he feels like he's losing guts.

casca tells griffith to stop, and griffith does stop, but it's not clear to me if he stops intentionally, or if he simply is physically incapable of continuing. i've seen the idea put forward that griffith is terrified that guts and casca are going to abandon him, and so he offers his body as the only thing he has left in a fit of desperation. i'm not opposed to that being part of it - griffith has used his body and sex as an offering before, with gennon.

this is how griffith is looking at casca during the scene:

one is normal and even wistful and sad, the other is...... fucking batshit LOL put those damn things away!!!! blue eyes white demon

one thing, though, that i want to say very clearly: griffith may have offered himself sexually to casca out of desperation, but it is very clear to me that casca did not want it. griffith fully forced himself on top of her, too, with his arms wrapped around her. if it was unwanted and forced sexual contact, regardless of why griffith did it or how much of a woobie he is to u, that is BY DEFINITION sexual assault.

this is the part that kind of drives me crazy. i don't personally believe that this was an act of self-loathing or self harm, like take my body because i have nothing left, but even if it is - it is still sexual assault. it is!!!! this isn't an argument!!!!!! yeah he was sad about it but it was still sexual assault!!!!

but anyways, enough about griffith. how does casca react?

i've seen the fact that she doesn't push him off presented as evidence that this wasn't assault. i'll... get to that.

what happens after?

after, we get these panels of casca, obviously shaken, outside the wagon.

she is clearly VERY upset. when guts approaches, he sees something is clearly wrong, but she brushes it off and says its nothing. when he keeps pressing, asking if it was something with griffith, she eventually breaks down and tells him that she can't leave with him. she has to stay with griffith, she has to care for him in his fragile, broken state. guts, on the other hand, has to go. even if its alone...

is this reaction in conflict with the idea that what griffith did in the wagon was sexual assault???? no. not at all.

casca feels immense devotion to the band of the hawks, and especially to griffith. she reminisces about how strong griffith seemed to her while she bandages him in the wagon. he gave her everything - a purpose, a reason to fight, a dream, and now even though the event was terrifying she sees griffith's physical weakness and knows she can't leave him. she can't leave him. how often irl do women overlook instances where their boundaries were violated, or a man they're close with was sexually aggressive towards them, because of those pre-established relationships? because that's their boss, or manager, or idol?

and not telling guts - honestly, that to me oddly is evidence to prove it WAS sexual assault. i think casca's single-minded devotion to the hawks and their dream would have made it so that she wouldn't dare bring up griffith doing anything to make her uncomfortable, because everyone is already on the brink of falling apart. even before this, we see her putting everyone above herself to keep the hawks together - crying alone when she thinks no one can hear her, barely sleeping, so exhausted she becomes suicidal, there is no reason to believe she would bring up something that just upset HER. she is less important, in her own mind, than the good of the whole. it makes perfect sense that she would do exactly what she does - she cries alone by the side of the wagon and doesn't tell anyone what happened.

another thing that i want to be very clear about: the idea that because casca didn't immediately push griffith off of her, and because she didn't bring it up to guts, and because she decided to stay with him afterwards, that means it certainly can't be sexual assault? that is rape apologism. full stop. if your argument hinges on any of those things, your argument is rape apologism. this is not up for debate.

NOW - did kentaro miura in the 1990s in japan know about the nuances of how women react to sexual harassment and sexual assault? that i'm not sure about lol. the argument "this is not in line with the way i assume cishet man kentaro miura in 1996 would understand sexual assault, and therefore i don't think it was his intention to depict sexual assault" is something i can understand. that's NOT what i'm seeing though.

that being said, there is some evidence that miura DID have a very nuanced understanding of assault. here, we have griffith talking almost to himself (though casca is nearby), breaking down about how dirty he feels for sleeping with gennon.

and yet, when casca embraces him, trying to comfort him, what does he do?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

and yeah, guts kills gambino, but only because gambino tries to kill him. guts first reacts by crying and asking why?

finally, compare the above panels of casca after the wagon scene to casca after almost being raped by wylad, and after the eclipse:

i mean, this is how miura draws casca when she's fucking going through it generally, but STILL. they are similar. she's shaking while bandaging him because he's so weak, but afterwards she is unable to mask how shaken she is. i don't think her reaction is JUST because he's weak.

this is so fucking long LOLLLLLL. i'm not interested in arguing with any of the various meta posts about the wagon scene not being sexual assault directly, or discussing it with the authors. if you want an alternate perspective, one that takes into account more of casca's POV, this is for you, and i hope you found this helpful! finally i've got this all in one place

tl;dr i think due to the framing you're supposed to see griffith's intention as sexual during the scene, casca very clearly doesn't want it, if your argument that it's not sexual assault hinges on her not pushing him off immediately u suck

uhhhhh that's it

#berserk #berserk meta #casca #casca berserk #gutsca

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albusthefakepitbull · 1 month

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just scrolling your blog a bit and stumbled across a post asking about Sensitive Tummy Foods. i work at a training kennel so trialing tummy issues has been much of my life so i was going to pitch a bunch of stuff i've seen work in my experience, but for me the first thing i think of if a dog is consistently having runny shits is phasing out chicken-based foods. mild allergies to chicken can be pretty common, and so can beef allergies ngl. you mentioned using nulo, and we actually tried a pair of standard poodles in our guide dog program on nulo because they had a round of giardia as puppies and their stomachs have been fried ever since, and on nulo one of the boys managed to shit UP a wall, so don't worry lol you're not the only one with adverse experiences on that kibble lol

1. we had a lot of success with inukshuk. it's expensive so it's not the only option i'll throw at you, but it's a performance kibble with a higher calorie density and i've seen a lot of dogs do well on it. my personal dog is on inukshuk marine 16 because his gastrointestinal system does horrible things when in contact with chicken, it's probably the best kibble i've given him. if you have an inukshuk distributor in your area the price can halve though so i'd shop around and see if anyone has The Goods

2. pumpkin is a classic belly calming potion, if it's just mildish diarrhea you might have some success just adding a tablespoon of pumpkin puree to meals. propectalin is also a useful supplement for tummy issues and my life would be unlivable without it, it's expensive which sucks but it lasts a while. vets actually prescribe propectalin for dogs with IBS which is so funny to me like you can get it cheaper than prescription of amazon this is like doggie pepto bismol. in my experience propectalin has worked better as a probiotic than fortiflora does, but fortiflora does have a marked effect, and is a good compromise for price. we also used probios, which is definitely effective particularly for dogs with highly explosive stomach issues resistant to everything else; it's a probiotic designed originally for livestock with some combinations blended specifically for dogs. the people hocking goats' milk are dumb though lol. goats' milk does not help in most cases, it can increase inflammation in the GI tract which is the last thing you want for a Shitter On The Loose

NOTE: if you find your boy has issues with beef, DO NOT give propectalin, it has beef in it. you will have a bad day. learn from my mistakes

3. one thing to play with are organ meats. sometimes diarrhea isn't always Belly Inflammation but an imbalance of nutrition, and sometimes an easy fix is picking up some chicken hearts or dried sheep liver and playing a bit. i won't wade into raw food discourse here, but as a warning, if you do take this advice in the direction of purchasing raw items, just know that most dogs have slightly looser stools on a raw diet compared to a kibble only diet, so if you do transition and you're like wtf? that's a pretty normal thing

and random only somewhat related doggie supplement advice i'm pitching just because it's cool: B12 is more effective as a calming supplement than CBD or melatonin. i kinda think most calming supplements are total bullshit but B12 is effective ime not because it provides an innate calming effect but because it addresses a nutritional issue that leads to that effect. as a human i personally start seeing the hat man if i forget to address a particular nutrient so i understand, puppies.

anyway i hope some of this helps your poor teenage mal and his belly troubles! wishing u and ur pups the best and i hope my phd in dog shit can be of assistance to you

i’m saving this for future use thank you for all the info :)

#dog food #save

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rahleeyah · 2 years

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So I have SO MUCH second hand embarrassment and anxiety over people commenting to the new show runner. Like walrus was one thing bc he was so ugh, but cmon people! 🫠

Like for one, it’s crazy what people say to him on his Instagram. People have no shame. Leave the man alone, especially when the comments are negative in nature.

Secondly, I wish the comments would just stop, mostly the negative ones as mentioned, bc just like m, he will pull away from the fandom OR start responding in a negative way. Also, could the fandom cause some negative consequences? 🤷🏻‍♀️

People are also veryyyy flip floppy. (I.e. the news about kelli today) Unless you are a diehard rollisi, there is no room to complain. No one should be taking this out on the new show runner when he doesn’t make those decisions? Esp when everyone was all over him until recently and praising him.

We all wanted eo, and if rumors are true and this is the way to get that, im personally ok with it? The way I’m looking at it is there have been SO MANY arrivals and departures over the years of cast members and characters and this would just be the latest one. Although Amanda has been there for 12 years, that is usually the exception and not the rule.

Wasn’t it canon that the average to be in svu was like 2-4 years bc of the nature of the job? It makes sense for her to want to see her girls grow up and have a more steady work/life balance and get out of svu (major speculation on my part here). Bring in some new blood, characters, diversity, story lines, etc.

Although disclaimer: I am indifferent to the Amanda Rollins character. I do not love her nor dislike her. I would for sure feel different if it was someone I had more of an attachment to, admittedly 😂

I know you stay out of the drama, but I just needed to vent. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk lol.

Congrats to you anon for being the one to break the kelli news to me, literally got this message and had to be like "hang on babe lemme check twitter real quick" so thank you for that. lemme try to hit this in order.

yeah first up i'm not gonna tell anyone else what to do but engaging with the showrunner directly is never gonna be something i wanna do. i firmly believe that fandom and creators are happiest when we stay in our respective corners but. again. that's just me and what i prefer and what i would do. i don't check david's insta so i don't see what people post there, except for what gets reposted other places.

i wouldn't worry about the fandom causing negative consequences. like. these people have a job to do. they get some negative comments, they get lots of positive ones, they go to work, they do their job. fandom sometimes overestimates its own impact; no amount of comments on insta is gonna change the plan for tptb. if that was the case they'd have thrown out eo bc of the people on fb. for good or bad, they're gonna do what they're gonna do.

i agree no one should take this out on mr david as it obviously wasn't his call, and the responses of his that i have seen have been graceful. i understand that people are upset - were we not all devastated when chris left the show? - but like, that upset needs to be directed at the people who are responsible.

i don't see any connection between kelli leaving and eo. i have a hard time imagining they were sitting around going "we can't do eo unless we get rid of a cast member." that just doesn't make sense. yes losing a long time cast member frees up some $$ but they are bringing in new people and i promise they are gonna find ways to spend what's left of that money that aren't solely eo. the math isn't mathing. and the only people i've seen make that particular connection aren't making the most reasoned arguments in general.

they try to say early on that most people only last two years in svu which is laughable now considering how long most of the cast has been there. i do think they need some fresh blood - still salty about losing kat, tbh - if only bc these characters have been there for so long and new perspectives are necessary from time to time. 1.0 didn't shake up the cast too much after s2 but they had new adas all the time and that kind of helped keep things fresh,

i'm not sure what i want rollins's reasons for leaving to be. i don't really see her wanting to leave svu, tbh, i think it would have made more sense for carisi to go work with a different branch and amanda stay on in svu to avoid the conflict of interest but obvi that's not what they're doing. i'm wondering how much of carisi we're going to continue to see after kelli's exit and if they will use carisi to keep amanda alive and fresh for us even when she's not there.

idk anon it's a lot

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

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neomedievalist · 1 year

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okay yeah that inspired me to start posting my umineko theories right now ive just reached midnight in ep3 and to be honest im still a bit lost on what i should be actually theorizing but theyve dropped a Lot of bombshells on me that i really dont know what to make of. but i have a theory that i think is pretty reasonable all things considered. umineko spoilers

basically they are pushing really hard this play metaphor and i think that has to have a higher significance especially with the battler 'inside the story' and 'outside the story'. also a line that he said really stood out to me where the battler 'inside' was making a play analogy and saying it wasnt his turn to go on stage yet. that combined with the perspective shifts makes me think we can take this a couple ways if we really lean into the play metaphor. for example, everyone who isn't the 'main character' is just an actor. im not sure if this is the most reasonable way to take it but ive been thinking like basically everyone who isn't CURRENTLY speaking from the first person perspective, Does Not have free will. theres another layer of this with the tea party naturally but just to focus on the story, the rest who are not the main characters of that particular episode, are actually controlled by beatrice or rather actors in a play just acting how their particular character “would act in that situation”. dolls, so to speak.

another thing on this i thought of was if we take acting in another more literal direction thats not the free will thing, we could say everyone, or several people, already know the outcome and are playing along for some reason to benefit them, or have some reason to keep quiet, for example we can already say that the servants are doing this by already knowing about beatrice and not really telling anyone but to take it a step further like. idk. something abt the golden land where they believe if they just hold out and act like everythings normal theyll be able to go there

Also i am so fucking proud of myself for noticing the divine comedy metaphors right away lol. i know for sure that i'm right but i also don't know what to make of it! i know that beatrice was the name of dante aligheri's lost love, someone that he idealized as the perfect unattainable person and put her into his work as the guide through paradiso. if we put this in umineko perspective, obviously the kinzo metaphors are here. the golden land is paradiso, and they literally just titled the tea party as purgatorio. i think both kinzo and battler could be dante because kinzoWAIT i just came up with something you know how divine comedy theorists will talk a lot about Real Dante and Character dante. literally ties into my earlier theory as well and you could even say kinzo represents real dante and battler represents character dante as hes being led through hell but i dont know who vergil would be unless we're stretching beatrice to represent him as well. in any case i always love when media makes me want to go study old literature to understand it better LMAO

anyway

i would say my top 3 characters are absolutely battler beatrice and eva. i got so excited to see eva be the protagonist of ep3 i cant wait to see her be awful

#data #umineko spoilers

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queer-omens-in-the-archives · 4 years

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ok i'm seeing whiffs on my dash of The Good Old Exclusionary Rhetoric again, but this time packaged to drive a wedge between bi and pan people with "pansexuality is an inherently biphobic identity". i'm so sad and angry. when and where will it stop.

literally y'all. do you not see the problems with that statement? do you not see how this is exclusionary rhetoric, meant to divide the queer community where we stand united? don't you remember "these broadly overlap but the difference matters to some people and that's okay"? where has that solidarity and acceptance gone?

do you not see the similarities to ace discourse, to trans-exclusionary rhetoric? do you not see where all that is going? what the end goal is? do you not see that we need solidarity -- all of us, between all of us, no matter how we may choose to label our experiences for ourselves -- in the face of systemic oppression? do you really think we need to invalidate and nitpick each other's identities and experiences among ourselves, when cis- and hetero-normative society is already figuratively hungry for our blood, and will get it if we do not practice acceptance and tolerance within our own community? do you not see that?

like... as a personal aside. i've been on tumblr since 2012, and (clumsy as it could be sometimes) i miss those times when unconditional acceptance, unity and community support were much more widespread. as they should be. like the community was never homogeneous, but this is the space where i first felt safe questioning myself and everything i was ever taught, because i was given the space to do so safely, without judgement or hatred or fear. i want other people in the future to have that space, too. everyone deserves to have that space of community support for authentic self-discovery.

and im so sad and angry, seeing that very same space getting more and more divided, seeing exclusionary discourse getting bolder every year. it feels like every year more people fall for it. and it blows my mind, with how OBVIOUS the intent to divide is, and how predictable the evolution of ~the discourse~ is, that some folks still play into it. im so sad and angry. and tired.

another aside. if your community support does not already come from a place of compassion and understanding for fellow queer people and their experiences, no matter how unlike yours they are; if it comes from wanting to be perceived as "in the right"; if you want to be the one telling people what they are or are not allowed to experience or identify as. remember that, systematically, every time, every single time without fail, when people start accusing folks of not being queer "enough" and start pointing fingers and vitriol: remember that, sooner or later, when they decide to move the goalposts (as they will eventually), you will be next. first trans people, terf rhetoric. then ace discourse. now this bullshit. i hope that's where we make it end.

im so tired. just... love and support each other, be kind, be understanding, be compassionate, y'all. please. it takes effort and thoughtfulness but it's necessary. we need to stand united and preserve that unity, for ourselves now and for the next generations of queer people in the future. it's worth it.

#abby posts things sometimes #these are filler tags #assuming tumblr still works with the ''only the first five tags count for searches'' thing #i havent made a serious original post in a LONG while #but i am so angry and tired.#discourse #for those of u who don't wanna see that #this isn't directed at anyone in particular im just starting to see a lot of it and i am. so. tired. i am so sad and angry.#ok to reblog but i will not be responding to further additions bc this is first and foremost a personal post #to get the emotions out of my bloodstream #im not looking for a debate of ideas or a debate at all im just so tired.#anyway exclusionists fuck off fuck your exclusionary rhetoric fuck all of your fucking gatekeeping and identity policing we're SICK OF IT

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead.

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it.

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise.

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives.

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope.

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think.

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

#writing advice #writing

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

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Why Changing for the Better Isn't as Difficult as It Seems

Hope is not a strategy when it comes to change. Commitment is what is needed to make change happen. Not just a wishy, washy commitment to change that fades in a week. Real change needs real commitment. Dismissing your excuses and “buts” and exchanging them for commitment to the process of change is what is needed to make change happen.

The good news is that your personality and behaviors can be changed, but it is up to you. You can’t change anyone else, but you can change yourself. Below are the steps needed to create change in your life. Its up to you to make that change happen, nobody can do it for you, but you can certainly find help along the way.

Awareness for the Need to Change

You can’t go on blaming your problems and issues on other people or circumstances. Eventually you need to take the bull by the horns, own up to your short comings, and get on a path to change. The first step toward change is acknowledging that you have something you need to change. If you don’t think there is something about you that needs to be changed or improved, then you are in denial, because there are not any perfect people in this world.

Look at the repeated problems in your life. The issues that seem to come up time and time again. Do you keep gravitating toward the wrong relationships, but you blame the people you are choosing, rather than looking at your problem in the selection process? Do you jump from one job to another, yet blame co-workers and bosses, rather than look at what you may be doing to cause problems and dissatisfaction on the job? We are creatures of habit, so look at the patterns that you have in life that are negative. The ones that keep coming up and causing problems. Then look introspectively to see what it is in you that is causing these repeated life problems to occur. If you can’t figure it out on your own, then go to a counselor for better understanding. If you can indeed figure out what it is in you that needs to be changed, even better. Once you recognize the need for change and what it is that needs to be changed, then you can move to the next step.

Believe that Change is Indeed Possible

There are people out there who believe that personality is unchangeable. When confronted with their problem such as constant negativity they lash back with “that’s just who I am”. It may be who you are, but does it need to be? Change in personality and behaviors is possible. Nobody stays the same from one year to the next, let alone across a decade, so why not move change in the direction that is best for you and not just let it happen. Be proactive about the change you want in your life, including the belief that change can occur.

If you don’t firmly believe that change is possible, then you are doomed to fail. You must believe that change can happen. Look for success stories and people who have changed and done what you so deeply desire to do. Seeing that others have been where you have are, and have accomplished the change you desire will help you in your process to accomplish that change.

List the Benefits in your Life and the Lives of Others for this Change

In order for change to be meaningful you need to buy into the premise that the change is necessary for your betterment. If you quit drinking alcohol, but deep down still crave alcohol every day for the rest of your life has change really happened? The change needs to happen in your mind and for you to fully desire the benefit of that change in order for your change to be meaningful and long lasting. People who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

One of the best ways to help yourself stick to the commitment of change is to make a list of the benefits that the change will bring in your life. Make one list of the benefits in your life if and when this change happens. Make another list of the benefits that your loved ones will have if you make the change. Recognizing the full spectrum of benefits including how your change will affect those closest to you, will help you stick with the process of change.

When you have moments of weakness, or fail on a particular day or time then getting back on track becomes easier when you review your list on a regular basis. Posting your “benefits of change” list somewhere where you see it often, such as a bathroom mirror, will help you be reminded of why you are doing what you are doing.

Make a Real Commitment to Change

Commitment means time and energy.

If you think you can change by wishing and hoping then you will certainly fail. Be realistic when you dedicate yourself to change.

If you think you are going to lose 50 lbs. in a month then you are setting yourself up to fail. Make a commitment to the time frame needed for the change to happen. If you want to lose 50 lbs., then set out a realistic plan of a few lbs. per week and a timeline that reflects those goals.

It will take you a lot longer than a month, but setting realistic goals will help you stick to your commitment. Change happens one day at a time. It is not immediate, but over the course of time because of your dedication and commitment to the process.

When you are making the commitment to change, this is the time that you dispel of your excuses.

If you have had “buts” and “what ifs” in the past holding you back it is time to address those head on and not allow them to prevent you from pursing change. The “buts” are usually the biggest obstacle toward commitment. When times get tough your “but” thinking comes into play. Be prepared to knock down those “buts” and be more committed to the process of change and the end result desired, than to the “buts”.

Be SMART.

There is a “SMART” plan when it comes to setting and achieving goals and sticking to your commitment to change. Make your goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.

An example of this would be a person who wants to become an active runner so they can tackle a half marathon. The first step would be to research what other people have done for training plans to achieve this goal.

Runners World lays out specifics for a beginner to train for a half marathon: “Target the Long Run: Every other week, increase your long run by 1.5 miles until you’re run/walking 13 to 14 miles. On alternate weeks, keep your long run to no longer than three miles. Your longest long run should fall two weeks before your half-marathon. Plan to take about 15 weeks to prepare for the big day.”[1]

Taking on this SMART tool, lets break it down:

S-(Specific). Run every week, make a chart of the miles, according to the Runners World recommendations.

M- (Measurable). Make the chart specific for the distance you want to accomplish for each run, which makes your goals measurable. Lets start by writing down at least your first two weeks of running goals to get started. Your first week could entail four days a week of running doing 1.5 miles the first run, 1.5 miles the second, 2.0 the second, and 2.5 the third. Then you move to week two and increase to the 3.0 mile mark. You again set your week up by scheduling four runs into your calander. The first day you do 3.0 miles, the second 3.0 miles, the third day 4.0 miles, and the fourth 4.5 miles.

A-(Attainable). You may concerned about weather getting in the way of you getting all your runs in each week, so you then need to find an indoor track, get a treadmill, or sign up for a gym to use their treadmills.

R-(Relevant). You aren’t concerned about your work out schedule outside of the running. Your goal is to get to half marathon preparedness, so attending workout classes won’t be on your chart. You stick to charting the runs and dedicating your free time to that goal, not other fitness or diet goals that may impede on your energy level and ability to get your runs completed each week.

T-(Time Bound). You are setting your plan to 15 weeks, based on the Runners World recommendations. You then find a half marathon that is very near in date to your 15 week completion and sign up. You chart your weekly runs (four per week), increasing your mileage each week by 1.5 miles until you can achieve 13/14 miles.

Create a Plan of Attack

A goal without a plan is a plan to fail.

You need a set of steps outlined to succeed. This is why 12 step programs are so successful. You can’t just walk into a meeting and say I am cured and changed! You need to mentally process the change in order for the change to be lasting and effective. Create a plan for your change. Be realistic and investigate what other people have done to change. For example, if you are dealing with anxiety and want to change that, then seek out therapy methods to address your problem. Stick with the therapy plan until your change process is complete. Simply hoping the anxiety will someday go away is not a plan.

Research the best ways that change for your issue successfully happen. Investigate what others have done and been truly successful in making it to the other side of permanent change. Use their best practices to set your own plan of attack in addressing your process of change.

Commitment without action results in failure.

It is wonderful to set a goal for change and to write it down, but if you don’t act then your mental commitment means nothing. There is no actual commitment unless action follows. To best kick start our change the key is to act NOW. Not next week. Not waiting for a time when things are lined up just right, because that time may never come. Start today, as soon as you finish setting your goal for change. Tony Robbins is a self-help guru who explains why many people fail to change:[2]

A lot of people tend to make “sorta kinda” decisions. Here’s the secret behind why people don’t follow through: The reason people don’t commit to a decision is that they don’t act on it.

Acting now, is the way to show your commitment. Your body must follow the brain’s commitment. For example, if you committed to lose 50lbs then now is the time to go join a gym, hire a trainer, and walk into a weight loss clinic to get support. The important part is doing. We can make up our mind to be determined to change, but if action does not follow soon thereafter, then you will fail.

It is very easy to make a verbal commitment to change or to even write it down. Where the rubber meets the road is when action is taken. Take action once a decision for change is made. Because if you wait until later that day you will get caught up in doing your daily routine, things for works, taking care of others, or whatever it may be; there will be distractions that will derail you from taking action later. There is no better time to take action than when you make the decision to change. Find one way that you can take action to get the ball rolling. Momentum is essential.

For example, if you decide you want to finally write that book that is in your mind, but you don’t have a working laptop, then go and get a laptop today. Then that same day set aside an hour each day after work (and on your calander) so that you can write. Instead of going out with friends after work, you are committing to achieve this goal and you have time set aside to make that goal happen.

If you want to become a writer, it won’t happen unless you actually write. Waiting until Black Friday for the best computer deal and then perhaps signing up for a writers conference 6 months down the road is not immediate action. Find ways that you can take action today. If you find yourself selecting action items that are in the future, then you really aren’t committed. Real commitment is making a decision for change and then taking immediate action.

Find a Support System

Psychology Today explains that one of the best ways to change behavior is through therapy and particularly the use of behavior modification therapies.[3] If you have a particular behavior or habit that you want to change, increase your odds of success dramatically by partnering with a therapist who specializes in treating your issue or who specializes in behavior modification methods.

A great way to find support is through group therapy or support groups.

If you have a substance abuse issue you can find groups that specialize is supporting you through recovery and change. If you prefer to find support in the comfort of your own home, then you can look for online support forums and Facebook groups that deal with whatever change you are looking to pursue. There is support online for every disorder, bad habit, or desired change via the internet.

Your ability to be successful in change is dependent on your ability to dive in; support systems help you to initially dive in and will help you stay committed to the process. Don’t underestimate the power you have by partnering with others who are seeking the same change. Whether it is weight loss, kicking an addiction, or changing part of your personality, partnering with others committed to that change will increase your odd of succeeding. There is power in numbers, so give yourself a better chance at change by finding and utilizing a supportive group.

Get Uncomfortable

Change should be uncomfortable. You are entering into new territory. Your mind and past habits will be resistant to the change, as it is uncomfortable and difficult. Expect the difficulties. Expect things to be uncomfortable. Also expect yourself to be so committed that you push through those times of discomfort. If you give up because of the discomfort then you are destined to fail in your pursuit of change. Embrace the discomfort associated with change and recognize that it puts you one step closer to accomplishing your goals.

Stick to the Plan

You will have good days and bad days in your pursuit of change. You will only succeed if you stick to the plan and push forward. If you get derailed from the plan don’t berate yourself. Instead allow yourself for some margin of error and then get back on track. You can’t expect to go on a diet without splurging sometimes. The key is “sometimes”. You shouldn’t make it a habit of getting off track, as it will slow down your progress. The sooner you get back on track on your plan, the more successful you will be in accomplishing your change goals. Set a plan and be committed to achieving it one day at a time and you will find success.

Other researchers on the topic of change believe this process is about dedication and commitment to the change desired in our day to day lives, as Douglas LaBier from the Huffington Post so aptly stated:[4]

Change occurs from awareness of what aspects of our personality we want to develop, and working hard to “practice” them in daily life.

Here are some tips on sticking to a plan:

Self-reflect on things that have derailed you in the past and problem solve them before they happen.

Jot down those things that tend to get you off track. Now list ways to combat the derailments before they happen. For example if you are wanting to lose weigh, but you work late hours then commit to morning workouts. If you know in the past you would continually hit the snooze button and subsequently miss the workouts, then hire a trainer for early morning workouts. You are less likely to miss your workout if you have real money attached to it and someone counting on you to show up. You could also schedule morning workouts with a friend, so you know there is someone showing up and you don’t want to let them down. Brain storm solutions for your past derailments, so that this time around you are ready to stick to the plan and the commitment you have made to change.

Don’t do things halfway, do them 100% of the time consistently.

If you are working out every morning for weeks but aren’t seeing change after a month or more because you are just showing up and giving it 50% you are more likely to quit. However, if you are giving 100% every morning at those workouts and you are sticking to the diet you will see change and progress. Those small changes are what keep you committed to an overall larger change in the long run. You are less likely to give up if you see the plan is working for you. In order for your plan to work, you need to give it all that you have in you.

Define your commitment and be very specific.

Commitment is a daily mental and physical plight when it comes to change. If your commitment is to lose weight then be specific about how you are going to achieve your change. For example, you decide you are going to stick to 1,800 calories a day and a 1 hour workout every day. Then write those goals down and chart your daily progress and achievement of these goals. Hold yourself accountable. Sticking to a plan is a great deal about the day in and day out commitments. Those commitments need to be achievable, yet challenging so you can produce change over time. Write them down, make them visible, and best of all create a chart of your daily progress in sticking to those commitments.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^Runners’ World: Half Marathon Training for Beginners[2]^Tony Robin: Commit to Change[3]^Psychology Today: Do People Really Change?[4]^HuffPost: Can You Ever Really Change Your Personality?

The post Why Changing for the Better Isn’t as Difficult as It Seems appeared first on Lifehack.

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trendingnewsb · 7 years

Text

Why Changing for the Better Isn't as Difficult as It Seems

Awareness for the Need to Change

Believe that Change is Indeed Possible

List the Benefits in your Life and the Lives of Others for this Change

Make a Real Commitment to Change

Commitment means time and energy.

If you think you can change by wishing and hoping then you will certainly fail. Be realistic when you dedicate yourself to change.

When you are making the commitment to change, this is the time that you dispel of your excuses.

Be SMART.

There is a “SMART” plan when it comes to setting and achieving goals and sticking to your commitment to change. Make your goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound.

Taking on this SMART tool, lets break it down:

S-(Specific). Run every week, make a chart of the miles, according to the Runners World recommendations.

Create a Plan of Attack

A goal without a plan is a plan to fail.

Commitment without action results in failure.

A lot of people tend to make “sorta kinda” decisions. Here’s the secret behind why people don’t follow through: The reason people don’t commit to a decision is that they don’t act on it.

Find a Support System

A great way to find support is through group therapy or support groups.

Get Uncomfortable

Stick to the Plan

Change occurs from awareness of what aspects of our personality we want to develop, and working hard to “practice” them in daily life.

Here are some tips on sticking to a plan:

Self-reflect on things that have derailed you in the past and problem solve them before they happen.

Don’t do things halfway, do them 100% of the time consistently.

Define your commitment and be very specific.

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]^Runners’ World: Half Marathon Training for Beginners[2]^Tony Robin: Commit to Change[3]^Psychology Today: Do People Really Change?[4]^HuffPost: Can You Ever Really Change Your Personality?

The post Why Changing for the Better Isn’t as Difficult as It Seems appeared first on Lifehack.

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2tr9M20 via Viral News HQ

#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

0 notes