#this motherfucker..... so fucking flashy all the time.... bitch i have more moves than you........

[demigod-of-the-agni]

The funniest thing about the Sohm Al dungeon is that when I did it for the first time I did it with the NPC party- Ysayle, Alphinaud, and Estinien. It was all going swell but I, a dragoon main, CONSTANTLY found myself trying to outdo Estinien??

like GIRL calm down he's just an NPC 😭 what's he gonna do, gloat about how he's going to kill all the dragons and pull out all the stops and use all the limit breaks?

...

HE FUCKING USES THE LIMIT BREAKS

THE LITTLE SHIT

AS SOON AS WE FILL ALL THE BARS HE JUST SAYS SHIT LIKE "TASTE MY LANCE" AND WHIPS OUT THE LIMIT BREAK AND I'M THROWING MYSELF HEADFIRST INTO THE GROUND SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU BASTARD I WAS GOING TO USE THAT ON THE FINAL BOSS

#no i did not actually die to the final boss im just being melodramatic #anyway temporary friendship with estinien is OVER #i cant believe i have to go through the Estinien Unbearable Varlineau arc before i get babygirl estinien #this motherfucker..... so fucking flashy all the time.... bitch i have more moves than you........ #it's only because of the level sync that sets me down a few skill levels otherwise i would be decimating this entire dungeon by myself #WITHOUT MR STINKY DRAGOON FUCKING IT UP !!!!!!!!!!!! #save me ysayle..... save me..... ysayle save me #but other than that i am genuinely having so much fun in heavensward. i love the little group we've made #ysayle and estinien at each other's throats <3 alphinaud trying to keep them from killing each other <33 wol just standing around #estinien varlineau #estinien wyrmblood #ffxiv #ffxiv wol #ff14 #ff14 art #hyur midlander #hyur #elezen #artoftheagni #agnigames

[harazustins]

Professional Matters

Chapter 2

I took a sigh of relief when I pulled into the parking lot of the studio. I was all the way on south side LA in a moderately sketchy area. I had never been to this studio but I knew it was notorious for west coast rappers. I glanced at the time on my console to see I was running a bit later than expected. After I got my work done for the day, I ended up falling asleep and having to rush home, change and head back out again.

I didn’t want to do too much so I decided on a white tee, black jeans and Yeezys. I pulled down the mirror compartment in my car and fixed my hair for the fourth time in the last 30 minutes. My chestnut hair was starting to get so long again even though it felt like I just got a haircut. I kind of didn’t know what to do with it, but honestly I look good with most styles so it doesn't bother me too much.

The bags under my eyes were a different story. My brown eyes were bright but I couldn’t deny how tired I was. Between all my obligations, things are getting very thin. But the money and progress I’m making is worth the bags though. After boosting my confidence for another moment, I closed the mirror, turned off my engine and climbed out my Lexus.

Walking into the building, I straightened out my clothes and adjusted my jewelry. I didn’t want to do too much so I decided on a white tee, black jeans, Yeezy’s and a couple gold chains. I know a lot of people in the industry feel the need to be flashy but I’m comfortable not having all that (yet).

I had to be buzzed in at the door and upon entrance, I gave the receptionist my name.

“Justin Bieber. For the 999 session?” The woman checked her computer. I didn’t realize my name would have to be on a list but I guess Juice really is blowing up. I’m proud.

“Yeah.”

“Alright they’re down the hall on the right to the very back. Studio 11. Make sure the recording light isn’t on before you go in.”

“Thank you, beautiful“ I smiled before setting off to the room. Even though the building looked a little rough from the outside, I was well kept and obviously historical. I couldn’t help but be in awe seeing all the signatures and pictures along the wall. From Biggie to Wayne, everyone had a picture up. I could be making history just by walking through here. As soon as I made it to door eleven, the recording light conveniently turned off. I wasn’t nervous but sometimes in this industry you just never know what to expect. With a sigh I did a quick double knock on the door before twisting the handle.

“Broooooo you made!” Juice exclaimed as soon as he saw me walk in. With a wobble and laugh, he passed the half naked girls in the studio to dap me up before pulling me into a hug.

“Fuck yeah bro. It's nice to see you too. Thank you for inviting me,” I shook his hand again and began to take in the room. It was a decent size studio space with really nice equipment that I would just die to work with. There were three couches on one side of the room and the recording booth on the opposite side.

Like last time, there was a lot of people in the studio. Though I recognized his manager, Max, and a couple of others from his team, everyone else in the room seemed to be friends and groupies. They laughed loudly while mixing and preparing their drugs, drinks and substances of choice. One girl with two red streaks in her gave me a wink before snorting two lines off a compact mirror.

“You want anything?” Juice asked as he started shuffling around.

“Nah bro. I might roll up but that’s it,” I turned down his offer causing a few of the girls to boo me. I rolled my eyes and redirected our attention. “So what you on today?”

“Bro honestly my homegirl came into LA today so this a chill session. She produces so we were just going to be on the freestyles today. She got a few beats I been waiting to hear,” Juice nodded before sparking his blunt.

“Say less,” I nodded though I was a bit disappointed. Obviously I didn’t expect him to tell me to get in the booth and start recording, but shit I did have hope... No telling if any of the other people in the room were hoping for the same.

“We just got started an hour ago. I don’t know what Milli bout to play but I might have you hop on. I low-key want an R&B hook and that song you posted was hard as fuck. That R&B shit always gon’ hit.”

“Thanks man. I was think that-“

“It’s shot o fucking clock motherfuckers!” The door to the room swung open with a crash. When my eyes focused on the commotion, I swear my heart stopped for half a second. Standing in the doorway was single handedly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

Her brown skin was glistening as she showed her perfect smile before kissing the unopened Hennessy bottle in her hand. She was wearing baggy cargo pants that swallowed her whole frame and one of the smallest tube tops in existence. The streetwear look created a contrast so stark, it complimented her body drastically... even though her body was far from her best feature.

Her beauty was ethereal, especially in the face. Her big, wide set eyes squinted as she stormed towards us and stole the blunt from Juice Wrld’s hand. It hung between her glitter gloss lathered lips as she poured the first shot of Hennessy into Juice’s mouth. I watched her pour carefully into the rapper’s mouth as she inhaled the blunt deeply, causing smoke to fill the vicinity.

“Shit my bad,” She giggled, swatting away the smoke from our faces. Though her lips were pressed around the blunt, you could tell she was struggling not to smile and drop it. As soon as Juice swallowed his shot, he took the blunt back with an eye cringing laugh. Upon the moment the smoke cleared, she was staring me dead in my eyes. She acknowledged me for the first time with a smirk but it felt like I had seen her face a million times.

Curious.

Next she pushed her bleach blonde hair back behind her ears before leaning back her head back and taking a shot herself. With her neck lifted I noticed the large intricate butterfly tatted on her neck. I have never seen a pretty girl with a neck tattoo that bold, but it was sexy as fuck.

“Shot O Clock?” She challenged me. Her brown eyes moved from mine as she examined my face and looked me up and down before meeting my eyes again. I recognized the look she gave and I didn’t want to ignore it. I nodded at her invitation and with a smile she grabbed my chin and pulled me down closer to her height.

Her touch. Everything changed.

I don’t know how to describe what I was feeling other than my heart and dick instantly jumping as she pushed my head back. What the fuck? She poured much more liquor into my mouth than I expected, a bit running out the side of my mouth. I lifted my head back and swallowed all she gave me obediently and wiped away the rest. She smiled before leaning into me. I almost jumped at how close she was getting to me, not knowing her next moved. Just when she was close enough to press up on me, she reached on the table behind me and grabbed something.

Swiftly she leaned back and shook the black hat in her hand, insinuating innocence. I already knew she was far from that. She put the Chanel bucket hat onto her bone straight \hair, completing her outfit.

“Shit bro sorry I’m fuck tweaking. This my homegirl KCM, she’s producing today,” Juice Wrld spoke. He apologized for the awkwardness but I felt anything but that. It felt like time stopped when I looked at this girl.

“KCM?” I questioned not missing a beat. I looked down and met her eyes, challenging a response.

“Karma Countin’ Millions,” She said proudly before reaching her dainty hand out to shake mine. “Karma. Producer.”

“Justin Bieber. Singer,” I took her hand.

“What do you sing, Justin Bieber?”

“Anything.” I tried to compose myself.

“He’ll fuck up R&B in a heartbeat,” Juice spoke as Karma and I let go of each other’s hand. "Lowkey may want him on that third beat you sent me.”

My ears perked at the sound of that. I came here for a reason and I can’t be thirsty over this producer for many other reasons. The two main ones being Hailey and taking this opportunity seriously. She was pretty but pretty isn’t enough to make me fuck myself over.

“Yeah, just let me know bro,” I redirected my focus to pressing matters.

“I’ve actually been playing around with that beat. Added in drums and synthetics,” Karma moved past a topless brunette and plopped into the chair at the desk. “Both of y’all, take two shots while I pull this up,” She demanded before clicking away at the computer screen.

-------------------

“Aight, I think this is it!” Karma called, causing the room to quiet down. At this point, I was slouched on the couch trapped between three coked out hoes and I was very fucked up. I think if I were to stand, I would most definitely fall. Karma had us taking shots every twenty minutes so the fact that she’s able to keep her eyes open, let alone produce right now is extremely impressive.

Honestly she was impressive across the board. I don’t want to say I underestimated her based on appearance but I definitely didn’t expect all this. She is a product of pure talent.

“Aye, hold up. Lemme get on Live ri quick. This hoe going too crazy,” Karma unplugged the headphone jack before unlocking her phone. A few moments later, she had her screen propped up against the monitor as people continued to join the stream.

“Y’all come over here,” She nodded over at Juice and I. He grabbed his styrofoam cup and stumbled to the other side of the studio. With only two stumbles I managed to sit on the stool behind Karma as I watched her press play. Immediately the hum of the bass came in on the song, more amplified than ever.

"Vibe on this bitch, though A lighter

Nah, in the room

Oh

Uh-huh” Juice’s intro started lowly.

“New Juice Wrld, New Justin Bieber. Produced by KCM.”​ ​Karma introduced before leaning back in her seat and sparked another blunt as my voice started to ring out.

"Tell me where you wanna go, I can take you there. We can fly across the globe baby don't be scared. Don't be scared. Baby don't be scared, no, no,” I sang along but never in my life, had I heard my voice recorded and produced like this. The nodding of my head was instant as the deep autotune transitioned into my normal pitch over the heavy base.

"You deserve a storybook ending, fairytale, fairytale. You deserve a storybook ending, fairytale, fairytale,” Karma chopped up the rest of my chorus, allowing the perfect transition to Juice’s verse.

"You work numbers, work wonders

You done woke me up from my eternal slumber

I'm the lightning, you're the thunder

There's a difference 'tween, "I need you, " and, "I want you"

Girl, I need you

Good sex led to conversations getting a little deeper, uh

Tell me your darkest secrets, shit you wouldn't even tell Jesus, uh My karma been tweaking so much, I don't even believe in karma.”

Everyone in the studio was nodding their heads as the rest of the song poured out the speakers. This was a hit. For sure. I couldn’t see all that well but I know I saw verified checks, fire emojis, and heart eyes flooding the comment section.

“This is one of 5 songs made tonight. All freestyled. Fuck outta here. These niggas next up. Lemme play this next shit,” Karma yelled before cutting the first song and going to the second, which was even harder. I was only on back vocals but I was appreciative to get any play time, especially on two different songs.

“That’s all imma give y’all, we're dropping this shit sunday night so y’all better be ready to stream. Follow my bros Juice and Justin. Super talented kids."

“999. Young niggas doing this shit” Juice called. “Bye live!”

“Bye!” I spoke up just as she was ending the stream. Karma quickly spun in her hair and looked at the pair of us.

“20 minutes left in this session. We just made hits. Where’s the after party?” She asked. Fuck. After party? I couldn’t think straight now and we were working this fucked up... I’m scared to find out what after party means.

“Honestly I might go h-“

“Don’t say home,” Karma cut me off "You got any songs out? Any new songs? Is your soundcloud and IG boomin?”

“Um well-“

“They’re about to be. You just made a song with one of the most popular up and coming rappers from the North. You’re on and people gon know your name very soon. Celebrate with us tonight,” She pleaded. Even after hours of work, drinking and drugs her beauty never swayed. It’s not that she is irresistible, it's that she’s right (or that’s the reasoning I was trying to convince myself).

I’ve waited so long for a big opportunity and here it is, potentially. I deserve to celebrate. “Okay.”

“I was about to say don’t make me beg,” She hummed with a more than suggestive undertone.

“I should’ve held out then,” rolled off my tongue swiftly. I couldn’t help myself.

“Don’t play with me, Justin Bieber,” She had a smile on her face but I knew nothing was a joke. She wants me.

“Max, get food and shit sent to the house. Hoes, tell y’all friends it's an afterparty at my crib," Juice called to the room.

[wahbegan]

Review of Spooky Specimens

I’m going crazy so I decided to review all of the monsters in that freeware game with the little ghost 12-year-old who revels in murder because what the fuck else am I gonna do while I wait for the pencil pushers at the IRS to decide if I’m worth one (1) crumb of financial support

#1 (Jump Scare): Tempted to give it a zero but then i remembered how many times these little bastards legit jump-scared me during a chase so for visceral startle effect alone and making me flinch more than anything else in the game, a deeply unearned 3/10

#2 (Goop Monster): This was when the game was supposed to go from cutesy to more serious. I look at the weird, psychotic poem scribbled in blood, then back at the monster, then back at the poem, then back at the monster. Is this a fucking joke? It looks like Slimer got a grill and went on a crash diet. It pops up out of puddles of the Tar Monster from Scooby-Doo’s cum. It’s made of watermelon-flavored jell-o and moves at roughly the same pace. 1/10. 

#3 (Spider-pede-thing): Proves once and for all my hypothesis that spiders increasing in fear factor the more legs you put on them is 100% true. The clicking and the holes in the ceiling you have to pass under greatly increase the creep factor, but about 60% of the time they’re having coffee in the green room and can’t even be arsed to show up. 5/10

#4 (J-Horror): Literally every spooky Japanese ghost girl that has ever existed but you know what those things are still pretty effective. Also it vores you, gross. 4/10

#5 (Every Silent Hill Monster): Comes out very slowly, takes his sweet ass time following you anywhere, gets caught up on terrain like a bitch, but when he fucks with the texturing and makes everything look the same, i shart a little. Good death screen, too. 7/10

#6 (The Happy Mask Salesman Drowned): Fuck this bitch. Fuck him. At first the Shining Topiary Animal gimmick (No I will not call it The Weeping Angel gimmick) isn’t very threatening, but he is also a cheating motherfucker and i hate him. I wish I could drown him again. One point docked because you eventually realize that just turning around and fucking booking it is about as good a strategy on him as it is on everyone else. 9/10

#7 (Literally just fucking Giygas): I appreciate the game tryna give me therapy, but this thing comes right the blazing blue fuck out of nowhere, doesn’t really threaten you very much, and then fucks off forever. But for sheer weirdness, presentation, and the therapist cat: 4/10.

#8: (Deer Guardian, Guardian of the Deer): Great design, floats and goes through walls, creepy death screen, makes your screen freak out with subliminal flashy jump scares when it hits you, real sense of personality. All it needs now is to make me feel genuinely threatened when it’s chasing me. Oh. So close. 7/10

#9 (LEAVE MY GAME IDLE, WILL YOU?!): Effective jump scare, but upon examination it’s...it’s just a bright red skull. You know? Like...like those technicolor skeleton costumes party city sells. It’s that. Death screen’s a bit unnerving but eh. 3/10

#10 (Oh I see we’re playing Dead Space now): Entrance is very cool, fact that actual parasite can detach and slither after you is very cool, the fact that you get more and more like “infected” as it wounds you is nice. Unfortunately, it just kinda lumbers slowly after you while you briskly walk 10 feet in front of it, occasionally glancing over your shoulder. Conducive to light aerobic exercise, not jaw-dropping terror. 6/10

#11 (Burger Demon): One of the...only like idk two really original ideas in this game, insofar as a red horned demon can be considered original, and the sounds it makes, its quick floating, and its cheeky little habit of making the exit door of the room you’re in invisible are all delightful. Also, “Fast Food Demon” is in no way a concept that should be anything other than ludicrously silly, but it actually manages to be fairly disturbing. 9/10

#12 (The Shining Clocktower): Yes it’s just a guy following you around with a sickle while you hide half-assedly behind crates. Literally functionally useless once you get out of his mansion, which has stealth mechanics that are...the definition of cursory. 2/10.

#13 (MERMAID PUSS): Tempted to dock a lot of points for how blatantly, even for this game, it ripped off Amnesia, but the backstory about them killing whales is strangely unsettling. The thought occurs to me that if they hadn’t set it in a castle and had made it so you can vaguely see them under the water, it would seem almost wholly original and I’d be much more fond of it. 5/10.

#9 Final Form (Just Throw in a Casual War Crime Reference, It’s Fine): The other of the two almost truly almost entirely original concepts, I’ve heard some people say it’s clearly inspired by the Godzilla NES Creepypasta which i didn’t even know was a fucking thing, but it is much more “inspired by” than “blatantly ripped off from”. The implicit/secret backstory about how he was a victim of you-know-what and did God-knows-what with the bodies of the other victims to turn him into what he is now is truly disturbing, and the bits of his boss fight that aren’t copy/pasted from a fucking Zelda game are quite fun. He frankly belongs in a different game that takes itself much more seriously, but I’ll still go ahead and give him a 10/10.

#Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion

[teddywancurlobi]

pretty little liars [01.01]

and here we are again.

a walk down memory lane.

who picked the song they were listening to in the opening scene? a tween?

aria: someone’s out there.

me: nah. it’s just the wind.... or a ghost that wants to possess you. you never know.

why does it look like aria and emily are the least scared looking into the darkness during this walk to the door? they don’t look ready to beat ass, but they don’t look nervous or anxious to might pop their head in either. they just look like they don’t know what the fuck is going on or super fucking high.

alison: friends share secrets. that’s what keeps us close.

me: and gives you fodder to blackmail your friends since you didn’t share a damn thing with them because you are commander in chief petty bitch.

drink up? nah. y’all can have fun though. keeping my eye on you, ya bish.

hanna: where are ali and spencer?

aria: we don’t know.

me: girl, how are you gonna know? you two only just woke up. you turned your head side to side for tend seconds. how are you gonna find them like that?

only a minute thirty four into this travesty and i’m already peeved as fuck.

i’m gonna be real (just kidding not real) with y’all for a minute:

spencer was never really spencer. that was when alex made her first appearance. alex was spencer all along.

spencer: i think i heard her scream.

me: ...... why do i find that unbelievable as all hell? oh well. continue.

one year later and still missing. bitch, i’m still missing too. where’s my picture in that fucking paper?

how does it sound like a celebration? it isn’t like the entire fucking town is poppin’ bottles in their homes, on every street corner, or even in their driveways. if that was happening, i would consider moving out of rosewood... again.

@ byron: you are a dirty ass hat. making your daughter carry this secret of yours for a damn year. secrets can brun you alive. you should be a torch by now or maybe just a pile of ashes that you will never resurrect from.

amsterdam? he was out, getting hella fucking high.

ezero... still one of the biggest creeps. nothing has changed one bit.

ezero: what’s your major?

me: nah, my dude. here major is nada with a minor in dick me good because my character is gonna revolve more around my relationship that shouldn’t exist with you.

ezero: i’d like to know more about you.

aroo: yeah. i’d like to know more about you too.

me: SKIP

real true love starts in the bathroom of hollis bar and grill on top of the sink while a grown ass man gives you a tongue massage with his tongue. /sarcasm: offline

GRAND THEFT SUNGLASSES: starring hanna ‘bitch i got your sunglasses’ marin and mona ‘peep this scarf’ vanderwaal ft. spencer ‘i ain’t got time, i’m a boss’ hastings

dork with flashy sunglasses pops on a boner. that’s what his face screams.

spencer: she’s gone, but she’s everywhere

ali: you have no idea, bitch.

me:

hanna: see you on the playground.

me: better stay out of sandbox.

and vandermarin really begins.

you can be sorry and love ella, but not telling her right away is worse than running away from your infidelity. get your balls out of your fanny pack, put them on, and tell her. i already know you won’t and someone else is gonna do it for your sorry ass.

emily: the first to bring up ali being dead.

me: truth is and i have said this before, but i really believe it would have been better to have left alison dead. it would have made for a better mystery since no one knew what happened. film at least three seasons up to maybe five and then have a short film on what really happened that night.

emily: i hear the new teacher’s really hot.

..... okay.

tfw you see the hollis b/g girl in the high school english class you teach:

me when i see ezero teaching aroo’s high school english class:

i dream of making it out of rosewood and i’m only just visiting.

so... the boyfriend maya speaks about is only brought up once and we never hear about him again? okay... no surprise, but okay. i can only speculate they broke up or he died.

maya: so i’m corrupting you. you okay with that:

em: (internally) CORRUPT THIS PUSSY.

em: (externally) yeah. i think i am.

ezoria: 20:30 - 21:01

aroo: acts like a love sick puppy

aroo: i’m still that same girl. nothing’s changed

ezero: yes, it has. i’m your teacher.

me: watches them suspiciously 

aroo: i know it’s not just me. you feel like this is right for us too.

ezero: but it’s not right. i just can’t.

me: okay motherfucker. you gucci for now.

also me: looks like someone just blew up aroo’s barbie doll.

emaya: touch hands

me:

emaya: almost kiss on the lips

emily: gets flustered

me: girl... calm down. it was barely on your lips.

the fact that they (spencer, wren, and the writers) made an innocent rubbing of the shoulders sexual says a lot. they both looked guilty as hell for it. melissa really needs to pump the fucking brakes if they were worried about how she would perceive the little massage.

@ hanna: you should have know that sooner or later that you would have been in those silver bracelets. you were sloppy and got caught. suffer the consequences.

@ ashley: girl... let your daughter learn from this bullshit instead of saving her from it. i know you won’t, but still worth a shot.

ashley just pimped herself out to wilden to keep her daughter suffering the consequences of her actions.

rosewood pd: the most incompetent police force unless it is convenient for them to be competent due to sloppy writing.

maya: they found alisons’ body.

me, who has been through this shit show before:

ashley maybe: slay my vagene, mr. officer. you are such a corrupt bastard.

ezoria: 37:54 - 39:15

ezero: (38:01 - 38:06) i don’t know what i feel worse about: staying away or being a jerk about it.

me: *screams demonically in the background*

aroo: thank you. i would never want to do anything to get you in trouble.

me: TOO FUCKING LATE.

ezoria: 38:34 - 39:05

me: *dies in agony, spirit is released, and screams in ghost*

hanna: anyone we know?

aria: no. it’s just my mom.....

me: NO??! FUCKING NO??! DO THEY NOT KNOW WHO HER MOM IS? THEY HAVE BEEN FRIENDS. HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW HER MOM? WHO WROTE THAT LINE? turn on your location.

spencer: do we know you?

me: hanna does.

darren wilden: rest assured, i will find out what happened that summer.

narrator: yeah, no. alison doesn’t even remember what happened that summer.

i’m still here bitches...

... and i know everything. - A

#pretty little liars #pll #return to rosewood #01.01 #the pilot #song: ave nocturne #artist: john a. nilson #goghgeekin #the start #gogh returns to rosewood #join me on my walk down the red brick road #because it is gonna be one abysmal hellacious ride #05.31.2018 #song: in the clouds #artist: astron #song: 3 strikes #artist: terror jr #i didn't realize how long this would be #welp.... here it is #trashier than before #and more overdramatic than it should be #just how i like it #lol

[empty-dream]

Me Watching Fate/Apocrypha ep 22

Remember that Naruto vs Pain best worst fight scene? Where everybody’s making crazy ass face and noodle-y stances? This is not on that scale, but it’s still this.

*Agrius!Atalanta bites Jeanne* Jeanne: “BAD KITTY! BAD KITTY!!”

Karna you’re too polite for your own good

WASN’T EXPECTING CAULES POPPING OUT HERE AND NOW BUT OKAY VERY WELCOME

But how does he come in here again? Did he just step down from his plane? Is that even possible?

Sieg: “Wait, you want to save your original master?” Caules: “Yeah they don’t have command spells anymore what’s the point?” Karna: “Because I want to. Is that weird?” Both: “Well, it’s saintly as fuck, for one thing.”

Seeing Caules negotiating is always intriguing thing for me.

CAULES TO THE RESCUE! And his unfastened collar :))

I have a question what is the exact mechanism of saving these former red masters??

Sieg: “If attacking Jeanne is your master’s order then why go after me instead?” Karna: “I have this promise with Siegfried to fight to the death and I will give up everything to do that.” Sieg: “Ooooooookay I don’t know whether to be awed or scared.”

I like the music it’s so full of pride.

And here we have another type-moon male protagonist swearing to protect the female protagonist who is stronger than him

Granted at this point Sieg is just loaded with tons of eleventh hour superpower and probably kinda more powerful than many other servants but the point kinda still stands?

Back at episode 22 of My Cat from Hell

It’s been almost 3 years and I still don’t understand why Agrius Metamorphosis has to morph into that kind of suit? Isn’t this like the prototype of Dangerous Beast?

Agrius!Atalanta evolution! Sexy-boar-beast-with-batsy-wings-and-dark-arrow-Agrius Atalanta.

Welp, people has always been like that – people. Past present and future, the nature of people hasn’t changed that much.

Jeanne: “The end never justifies the means!!!” Agrius!Atalanta: “Fuck that!!!”

Wow I like how this fight isn’t too dark and I can see what they’re doing and the viewpoint is good.

WOW she rips off her own wing o_o

I’m bracing for another luminosite eternelle but GREEN LIGHT SOARING THROUGH YESSS

IT’S MOTHERFUCKING ACHILLES HERE YOU ARE FINALLY

Achilles: “Go, Jeanne. It’s sis’ and my problem now.” Jeanne: “I fucking knew it something’s up with you two.”

I’m kinda bummed A-1 doesn’t make it explicit that Achilles really does regret not picking up the clues and just letting Atalanta goes out of control.

His face looks like a boy shyly apologizing for breaking a neighbor’s window.

Why is Semiramis so beautiful and dignified here??

Jeanne: “You seriously believe in Shirou’s humanity salvation plan?” Semiramis: “Yeah, he even told me I’d rule the world after the salvation” Jeanne: “You fucking liar. Nobody’s ruling nobody if it’s truly salvation and you just sound like a certain golden Babylonian asshole king.”

Jeanne: “So how does he plan to do it?” Semiramis: “Well, tbh, I dunno.” Jeanne: “Are you fucking kidding me”

Wow this is so vivid. Does A-1 use color play to balance the noodle figures?

How to fight nukes by Sieg!Fried: Slash the nukes apart.

I.. I do not have any words for this fight, it’s vivid and flashy and powerful.

Though I’m wondering will Mamaramis be mad that their children are destroying her fortress with nukes and lavas?

I like Karna’s armors

TASTE THE EYEBEAMS! -Karna

The eyebeams cuts Sieg!Fried’s beautiful wild long hair THAT’S CLOSE AND ALSO A CRIME

Karna can you stop praising your enemies every time you fight? My heart is going to explode

Oh shit oh shit he’s going to VASAVI SHAKTI

Karna: “What’s your name?” Sieg!Fried: “Sieg!” Karna: “Wonderful name” Me: It’s a bit uncreative but it’s made up of honor and gratitude and now that you’re saying it’s wonderful then wonderful it is.

I LOST MY SHIT WHEN I WATCHED KARNA GOING DIVA IT WAS MIDNIGHT

The look of approval between Sieg!Fried and Karna is a blessing in itself

Move, Clarent Blood Arthur vs Balmung, it’s time for the new best clash: Vasavi Shakti vs Balmung

It’s the third time he uses the command spell right? Cause I can hear Jeanne’s Sieg sense tingling with exasperation.

Sieg!Fried: “Even this is not enough-“ Astolfo: “A SHIELD DELIVERY EXPRESS COMING THROUGHHHHHHH!!!!”

Astolfo: “Are you seriously giving me your shield noble phantasm?? You’re crazy.” Achilles: “I don’t need it anymore and beside it’s my promise to sensei.” Astolfo: “Oh okay. You’re still crazy tho.”

Sometimes I wonder if at this point Achilles is ready to give everything even his life to stop Atalanta because that damn shield is too strong to be given away just like that.

Manly screaming Astolfo is something I never thought I’d need in my life

Ain’t no shield like using a world containing your life as one.

Astolfo: “Wow I didn’t expect using a shield would cause an entire trippy journey into Achilles’s entire life, isn’t this breach of privacy?” Achilles somewhere: “It’s called Achilles Cosmos what exactly did you expect from it?”

Wow wowowo the sudden creation Greek architecture buildings is just… wow. Even Karna is amazed.

The scene when Sieg!Fried and Karna race to grab Balmung is an extreme version of when two people race to grab the last pizza.

When in fight, do NOT only bring one sword! -Sieg!Fried

If this entire fight was not Sieg!Fried vs Karna but only Sieg using Siegfried’s power vs Karna, would there still be anyone who would watch this?

Karna: “Sorry for dragging you with my ego” Sieg: “No, sorry I win through Astolfo’s sudden help” Karna: “No, Astolfo’s your servant and your power. It’s still a fair fight.” Sieg: “Holy crap you are like the greatest person in this world”

I wanna bet at some point Sieg’s like ‘Why do all these heroes have enough time to talk about lots of things when they’re one and half foot into the grave?’

Karna: “Jeanne will be in danger if she finds Shakespeare.” Sieg: “Alright thanks for the info gotta go bye!” Karna: “That was fast.“

Remember when honor and chivalry in war is no good as it will only meet betrayal? No, Fate/Apocrypha isn’t about that.

Karna would die alone if he was a dick but no he wasn’t a dick and Astolfo gets that so he was willing to chat and honor him before Karna fades away.

Karna: “I believe I hardly did anything worthy of a Servant” Me: HOLY SHIT KARNA STAHP YOUR HUMILITY IS KILLING MEE

Goodbye, my kind, hero of charity.

AND HERE I THOUGHT I’D EAT MY SHOE BECAUSE THEY’D SHIFT ACHILLES VS ATALANTA TO THE NEXT EP BUT NOPE THANK GOD

Yes people, the ultimate reason why I keep up with Apocrypha is because I want to see Achilles vs Atalanta and the known result of it

I found almost nothing until today about the fight beside that one line in beastlair forum and an online translated side material and I live with only those for years SO YEAH JUDGE ME I DON’T CARE

Wow the music is so catchy

You know A-1, you can use those 3 seconds for other more important actions on scene instead of Atalanta’s panties.

On a different note, here we are seeing a rider who fights more like a lancer versus an archer who fights more like a berserker

Ow he stabs her. It hurts :(

OW her arrows come back and stabs him. It hurts too :((

Aw yis he’s cradling her, I imagined this for like 3 years and it actually is like this.

NO NONONONO NOT THIS SAD SOUNDTRACK

I’d pay for Atalanta and Achilles to have another 3 seconds to talk more.

Why is Atalanta the one crying? Pretty sure in the novel it’s Achilles who’s crying. It’s even explicitly states in the side material that it’s his very tears and heroic naivety that makes Atalanta feel a bit better in the end.

The English sub makes it sounds like she was fine falling into corruption whereas I’m kinda sure (even tho my Japanese skill is zero) she’d mean she was fine with him stopping her. Correct me if I’m wrong tho.

It kinda hurts that she disappears before he does like I imagined that they’d disappear together, I know there is the battle continuation excuse but.. He has to watch her die and isn’t that painful?

Not gonna lie. Regardless of how short their exchange is and the inaccuracy of who’s crying, I’m loving the detail of this scene. Like how he barely yet still holds her in his arms, how the blood drips on her, how he sighs a little and embraces her as soon as she wakes up as herself, how his head slightly moves as she leans closer, how she weakly caresses his cheek, leaving bloodstains, and he just closes his eyes, and how she finally disappears then he follows- Oh my it looks like I just wrote an entire fanfiction

Isn’t it funny that I ship them for fun since he hits on her which is from vol 1 and then somehow it ends up in tragedy?

Tfw you care too much of a side couple (that isn’t really a couple) way more than the actual main couple

And now all of you understand why those two are on the credit together and why it gives me feels right of the bat

Maybe Achilles’s last words were the ones he wanted to, or should have, say back at episode 19, before Atalanta fell into madness. If he did, would this not happen?

Oh shit I’m weak to when-the-ending-song-is-played-without-the-usual-credit

Holy shit I just read the actual english lyrics of the entire song and my god isn’t this too fitting for this episode??? I’m grossly sobbing.

Goodbye, my pure huntress and brave warrior.

I love when Karna’s spear completely disappears as the song ends.

As of this update, I have replayed Achilles vs Atalanta for 100 times

Semiramis: “I’m waiting for someone else, actually.” Jeanne: “Who?” Semiramis: “That damn brat who rams an airplane into my home” Jeanne: “PFFT.”

The suspicious bitch face look that Jeanne gives as she’s running to the other side of the throne room is what I’m living for

As far as Fate/Apocrypha goes, this episode is the best in terms of everything.

And my long-awaited Achilles vs Atalanta finally comes. A certain op gives a translation over that scene from the novel and as expected, it’s a thousand times more beautiful and sadder. Thank you op. I’m in peace right now.  

*Glancing harshly at DW* Yo, THE REST OF APOCRYPHA SERVANTS WHEN?? We have a ton of people to reunite

NEXT: Hang on kids we got a train to Orleans

#fate apocrypha #fateapocomment #hold my heart it's still wet from sobbing all day