#to nothing. a blank disassociation in pure terror and fear

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

Hhhhmmmmmmg, these feel like pointed shorts, I’ve told my mom about my depression and she said “I have noticed that whenever your in a slump, it’s always with a smile on your face, you never realy let people know how badly your hurting until it bubbles up, then you sweep it off”

This realy helps me self-diagnose myself, I’m aware that I have depression, I’ve had it for about 2-3 years at this point, I started developing these symptoms around the time when the first Covid shut-down happened that was supposed to last 2 weeks, then it progressively got worse and worse until it developed into this monster that hung on my shoulders like a giant block and weighed me down like a blanket, it still does I just don’t think about it as much.

I also have extremely severe anxiety, it reguraly invades my life and bombards me like a hurricane, spinning my thoughts and turning myself against me, it regularly makes me question if my friends and family are just hurting me, it makes me sit out on activities I know I would enjoy in fear of.. something, I don’t know what yet

Sorry that this is a bit of a downer post, I usually do the sillies but I feel like this was Important for me to share to help you guys see more of myself, I trust you guys to not use this information against me :)

#tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #tw depression #depression talk #tw vent #tw vent talk #vent cw #depression cw #tw anxiety #tw Implied panic attacks #I will say that my panic attacks range from your standered one filled with hyperventilating and tornado-like thoughts #to nothing. a blank disassociation in pure terror and fear #that one is more common