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#two exceptions apply but I refuse to write for them. i just genuinely don't like them
cerise-on-top · 1 month
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Nikolai with a s/o who always has a hand on his chest? With consent ofc, and it’s always to feel his heartbeat. I think of this all the time and it’s always super cute in my head.
Hello! That is pretty cute!
Nikolai Always with Reader’s Hand on His Chest
Nikolai is a pretty laid back and chill sort of man, so he usually doesn’t mind you putting your hand over his heart. Maybe not while you’re walking, though, he doesn’t want you to trip. It’s very sweet to him: You wanna make sure that he’s alive? That he’s still with you? That his heart is still beating? Trust me, not even death could take him away from you. He’d dig his way out of his grave after killing the reaper with his bare hands himself. You can always put your hand over his chest while you’re at home together, though. It’s nice to feel you. After a while it would be reassuring to him as well, feeling that you’re there, that you’re with him. He thinks it’s sweet that you always want to be touching him, because if it was up to you he’d do the same thing with you. After some time, once he’s realized that you’re always touching him whenever you can, he tries to get into positions that facilitate you touching him a bit. Usually lies on his back when you’re cuddling so you have full access to him. Can and will fall asleep like that, but will also want to hold you back. Will also put his hand over your heart as well so he can “get back at you”. In reality, feeling your heartbeat is also just nice and reassuring to him. However, he sometimes might lie on your chest in order to hear it as well, something like it lulls him to sleep, after all. You can put your hand over his chest in public as well, though, he doesn’t particularly mind cuddling in public either. There’s a good chance you’ll be nicely clothed, though, so you won’t feel his heartbeat unless you slip your hand under his clothes. You can do that, he doesn’t care about strangers staring in public. However, once it’s time to continue walking around, release him. You can continue your antics once you’ve found another nice bench to sit on.
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catchingbigfish · 5 months
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Just popping in to say that your seminar paper sounds fascinating! If you feel like sharing more about it feel free, but completely no pressure at all. Your description of it in your tags just intrigued me~
oh my god thank you, you have NO idea how hyped i am to get a chance to talk about it!! this is going to be wayyyyy too much info and incredibly long, but i have no one to talk about except my class and we don't meet again until next thurs!
okay so i'm taking a rhetorics grad class and writing about, generally, the rhetoric of christian deconstruction and deconstructors' reclamation of power -- for anyone who doesn't know, deconstruction means people (i've only ever heard this in a christian context but i'm sure this could apply to other religions, i just genuinely am unfamiliar with those spaces) who decide to examine their faith, which is a super complicated process. this can range from "what is the biblical evidence for this topic" all the way to "do i still agree with this belief". so, i'm looking at: how do they talk about their experience of deconstruction, and what new sites of power do they adopt when leaving their faith
more specifically, though, i'm actually writing about memoirs published by two Duggar daughters (of the 19 Kids and Counting television show/franchise) this year! Jill Dillard published what is the closest thing there is to a Duggar-adjacent tell-all, and her sister Jinger Vuolo published a "theological memoir", where she explicitly refused to adopt the term "deconstruction" and instead created a new term, "disentanglement". for those who don't know, the Duggar family is a member of the Independent Fundamental Baptist denomination and the Institute in Basic Life Principles parachurch organization, both of which promote biblical patriarchy (aka, the man is the head of the house and the woman must submit to him) and purity culture (aka, your value is entirely determined by your virginity, and men are terrible horny creatures who cannot control themselves. also, women can't wear pants). both daughters' memoirs are about how they are no longer members of the IBLP, and to an extent, the IFB.
my pitch for the paper was to look at the IFB/IBLP rhetoric about power (the "umbrella of authority" in particular, but generally purity culture and biblical patriarchy) and then examine their new stated beliefs and how they negotiated the power to assert them -- like, looking at Dillard's discussion of her choice to start wearing pants and how she wanted her husband to just tell her what to do, and how when that resulted in blowback from her father, she attempted to placate him (as part of her "umbrella of authority") by calling him before she got a nose ring; and, of course, looking at how she had to deconstruct the belief in the "umbrella" to even write the book. also, looking at how Vuolo's memoir is influenced by her husband's career as a pastor and even though she's distanced herself from the headship/helpmeet dynamic, she's still replicating it by saying she shouldn't have control over her own life.
this has already gotten crazy long, so i'll put more about my research under a cut!!
i've been doing a lot of reading on super varied topics, but i'm reading a lot of TJ Geiger, Bethany Mannon, and Amorette Hinderaker -- the first two specifically look at exvangelical (ex-evangelical christian) rhetorics.
the paper i mentioned in my tags was specifically "Forgiveness Is More Than Platitudes: Evangelical Women, Sexual Violence, and Casuistic Tightening" by Geiger; it's a study of Beth Moore and the gymnast Rachel Denhollander, who both publicly condemned the church's response to abusers. it's *such* a good article, it took me forever to wrap my head around it (coming from a non-christian perspective who had no idea what the fuck casuistic meant) but it's absolutely fascinating, and argues Denhollander and Moore are, in essence, un-flattening the roles between "abuse victim" and "sexually immoral" and demanding churches make forgiveness more costly for the abuser instead of allowing them to brush abusers' crimes away by saying "god forgives them and you should, too". Mannon also wrote about Moore! she's what led me down this rabbit hole, i read a *different* article about Moore in Peithos, a feminist rhetoric journal, for a different project this semester!
Hinderaker looks at "organizational exit", a hot topic in organizational psychology, but she looks specifically at high-control religions instead of workplaces, which is where most of the research was before. i haven't confirmed this, but i suspect she may be ex-mormon? she has a really good article about the way people narrate their decision to leave high-demand religious groups, and argues the "reach" of an organization into a participant's life is actually the primary factor in exit, which goes against previous research (which focused on pay as the most important factor).
okay, i promise i'm almost done. i also read Pure by Linda Kay Klein for fun, then realized about 1/4 of the way in it fits the paper perfectly, because it's really about purity culture rhetorics. i also read The Preacher's Wife, which is about evangelical women celebrities, and helped me frame Vuolo's book in particular. the other genre i've been reading a lot is the general topic of feminist rhetorics, women's rhetorics, conservative and evangelical rhetorics, etc., which basically culminates in Charlotte Hoggs' article "Including Conservative Women’s Rhetorics in an 'Ethics of Hope and Care'", which is explicitly about incorporating the study of conservative rhetorics in the feminist rhetorics field.
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garbagevanfleet · 3 years
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Brightest Blue (series)
PART TEN
Pairing: Josh x reader Warnings: THIS CHAPTER IS 18+ ONLY! sexual content (finally), pot use, alcohol use Summary:  Things are changing. New state. New school. New roommate. You just pray things are going to click into place.
Notes: Okay, guys. If you missed it, this chapter is NSFW. This was the best to write, seriously. Love you all, don't be afraid to tell me what you think of it! 
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taglist: @valleyd0ll​​ @satingrass-maidensfair​​ @guitarfingers​​ @thebohemianpenguin​​ @peaceisouranthem​​ @oblvions​​ @hansonobsessed​​ @myownparadise96​​ @lara-gvf​​ @anditsmywholeheart​​ @kill-fear-the-power-of-lies​​ @bigblack-catattack​​​ 
MASTERPOST 
Two weeks before the Saturday of the play, the forecast had called for a blizzard. “Polar vortex” they had called it on the tv at school, flashing graphics of a polar bear wearing a scarf. 
After classes on Friday, you had asked Kate if she wanted to go for coffee. You had been working like a dog on the play - sewing and painting to the point where your fingers perpetually hurt and the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was the shade of green that every foliage prop was painted.
You ordered a caramel macchiato and genuinely tried to enjoy it, propping your legs up on the chair next to her. 
“So,” she started, eyeing you like she had a bone to pick. She still looked so pretty when she was coming for your life. “We’ve been so busy with Josh, we haven’t had any alone time to talk about Trevor.”
You sucked in a deep breath and relaxed your stiff neck muscles, achy from behind hunched over while sewing. “Yeah. I kind of forgot about it, to be honest.”
“I have not, however. So dish,” she requested, reaching into her purse and pulling out a tube of lipstick. She applied it carefully in her phone camera as you spoke. 
“Josh did it,” you admitted, making her eyes flick over to you momentarily. “I mean, I still slapped him, but Josh was the one that gave him a black eye.”
“And how do you feel about that?” she asked carefully.
You shrugged, wrapping your fingers tightly around your cup, half to leech the heat, and half because you were anxious. “I don’t know. I was kind of upset, but only because he could have gotten kicked out of school for that.”
She just nodded for you to continue as she cleaned up the lines around her lips with a paper napkin. 
“I mean, and for what? He could have been arrested. Just for revenge. I feel like the best revenge would be just be keeping your head high.” You rolled your eyes at the beginning of your statement, just for emphasis. 
She stared at you blankly as she picked up her mug. “Aren’t you flattered? I wish a guy would punch one of my hookups.” 
“I mean, it’s cute, but I feel like he did it more for himself - for his own pride, you know?”
Her expression changed then to something a little heavier, her features sharpening in accusation. “Are you for real? Like, for real, for real?”
You frowned at her, feeling like you were being scolded. “What are you talking about?”
She let out a long breath, looking dumbstruck. “I haven’t really pressed it because I guess I just thought it was something that everyone knew but wasn’t talking about but-” She paused, putting her hand over yours on the table just to really drive the point home. 
“That boy has it bad for you.”
You knew your expression was ridiculous by the way she looked at you with pity. “What the hell are you talking about? Josh? Are we talking about Josh?”
She closed her eyes, pursed her lips, and nodded. 
“Kiszka?” you tried again, still refusing to let her statement sink in. 
“Yes,” she said through a laugh. “Yes, your roommate Josh. Curly hair, hippy bullshit - that guy. I swear to God I thought you knew. I mean, there were times when I was like ‘does she actually know?’ but then I thought ‘there’s no way she lives with him and doesn’t know that’. You’re telling me I was wrong?”
You were struck silent for a few long moments. “Are you sure?”
Thankfully, she was looking at you like you were a puppy with its head stuck in a peanut butter jar. “Look at me. He punched a guy in the face for you.”
You closed your eyes and tried to suppress a smile. “I don’t know.”
“Okay. There’s supposed to be a huge snowstorm this weekend. Now that you’ve heard me say it, return to me on Monday - after spending all weekend in the same place as him - and tell me you don’t see it then,” she said simply. 
“Okay, I will,” you challenged. 
“Okay, you do that,” she quipped with a smirk, leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest confidently. 
+++
In preparation, you had gone grocery shopping together, picking out everything you’d need to be stuck in the apartment together. He had even made you take him to a thrift store, just so he could see if there was anything fun. In the end, he had come out with a card game in a box, still wrapped. 
Saturday morning the snow started falling, this time in huge, fluffy flakes, and it wasn’t supposed to stop until Monday evening. 
While Josh was in the shower, you decided to get everything ready for the evening’s festivities that you had planned together. You had gone to find a good cheese board at the market until you found out they were too pricey for your (nearly nonexistent) budget, so you ended up laying out different crackers and cheeses onto a circular pizza pan. 
By the time he got out of the shower, you had grapes, pickles, olives, and chocolates laid out on the coffee table, and he caught you just as you were pouring each of you a glass of wine. 
The charcuterie was his idea - actually, the first thing he suggested when you said you wanted to have a fun night in on Saturday. The three different kinds of alcohol had been your idea.
“Okay, it’s all yours,” he informed as he trotted out from his bedroom, dressed in a fresh set of clothes. 
The shower was still warmed up, the mirror still steamy. You got a towel out and stepped in under the spray. 
You took the time to enjoy washing and conditioning your hair - your mom had been sweet enough to send you some of the expensive kind you love. Once you had hinted over the phone that you were homesick and the smell of it reminded you of home, she was already googling it. 
Once you felt sufficiently clean, you stepped out and dried off. The clothes you had taken into the bathroom weren’t anything special - you had chosen comfort over aesthetic - but they were warm, which is what you really needed as the snow fell outside. 
When you joined him back in the living room, Josh was waiting patiently on the couch.
“Ready?” he asked, handing you your glass of wine. 
“You didn’t have to wait for me.” You gestured down at the untouched food. 
He smiled at you. “I know.” 
You sipped at your drink as he gestured to the tv. 
“Movie for background noise?”
You hummed in thought. “Maybe music?” 
He nodded in agreement. “What are you in the mood for?”
“Whatever you pick will be perfect.”
By the time he had made a selection, you had nearly finished your glass of wine. “So, the costumes are coming along well. I got the cutest lace for the trimmings of Alice’s dress. I’m not sure you’ll even be able to see it from the audience, but she’ll look adorable in pre and post-performance pictures.”
He shot you a beaming smile. “That’s some master craft. Your attention to detail is unrivaled.”
You knew that he was just playing, but it still made your stomach flip.
“Should we play our card game?” he suggested, padding over to the kitchen and snatching the bottle of wine off the counter.
You watched his movements as he poured your glass full again. “Thank you. Yeah, we can. Or did you want to be drunker first?”
He hummed. “One shot each?” 
“Of vodka?” you inquired as you picked yourself off of the couch. “Where are the shot glasses?” 
“I don’t think I own any,” he admitted as he watched you rifle through the cupboards. 
You shot him a shocked look. “You’re a college kid; why would you not own a shot glass?”
“Well, we haven’t needed it thus far. I don’t throw a lot of parties if you haven’t noticed.” He gestured around the empty room. “We’ll each just take a pull from the bottle?”
“Okay, you first,” you agreed, thrusting the bottle at his chest. He took it from your grasp with a smirk and then pressed his lips to the rim. He drank until the count of three before swallowing hard and passing it along. 
You followed suit, except with more difficulty. He had made it look so easy, you had almost forgotten how vodka tasted. You swiped your thumb across your lips, wiping them dry in the process. 
You took your seats back on the couch next to each other as the music played through the room. 
“Charcuterie?” you offered, gesturing to the coffee table full of food. 
“Yes, of course.”
As you watched him make a cracker sandwich, you spoke. “So, should we crack this game open?”
After he nodded excitedly, you ripped into the plastic wrap. 
“Okay, it looks like it’s essentially just a questions game. We just draw one at a time and the other person answers them,” you explained after skimming the inside of the box. “And you have to finish your drink if you can’t answer it.”
He laughed. “Okay, ladies first. I’m ready.”
You pushed the stack of cards over at him. “No way, you ask me first,” you stated with a cheeky smile.
He raised his eyebrows at you but relented. As he plucked a card from the deck, he took a sip of wine.
“What is your favorite color?” he asked, leaning in and squinting like the information you were about to provide was essential to his existence. 
You snorted. “Really?” He nodded, prompting you to continue. You hummed as you thought about it. “It’s blue.”
“What kind of blue? Like navy or sky?”
You shook your head. “No, more like that blue that’s so blue it hurts your eyes. The one that was a new pigment discovered not that long ago - so bright it hurts.”
He gave you a sincere smile.  “That’s a good pick.”
“What’s yours?” 
“That’s not how this game works,” he said through a breathy laugh. 
You frowned at him. “Yeah, well. Then I’m asking you as a friend. Josh, what is your favorite color?”
He pursed his lips as he considered his answer. “It’s hard for me to pick, but maybe either red or orange.”
You nodded in agreement as you reached for the deck. “I could see that. Okay, your turn.”
You stared at the card in your hand that read, WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SLEPT WITH?
“Are you alright?”
You snapped your eyes up to him, quickly nodding as you realized that he had been waiting patiently for you to read it. 
“Okay,” he agreed cautiously. “That’s good. What’s the question?”
You couldn’t suppress an awkward smile as a heat rose to your face. 
“It says, ‘who is the last person you slept with?’,” you informed in a humored tone. You even held it up for him to see.
He stared at the card like it just accused him of a heinous act. “You really got to answer the color question and I have to answer this?”
His intensity made you snort a laugh, though you were trying to hold yourself together so you didn’t spill your wine. “Okay, okay. I’ll answer it too. Maybe we can play the game where we both just answer it.”
“Do you just want to hear me talk about sex?” he prompted with a shit-eating grin. 
You gave him a disbelieving look. “Are you- You’re the one that picked this game out!”
Your overreaction was clearly exactly what he had been looking for. You were anticipating his ribbing to continue, but it didn’t. 
“The last person I had sex with,” he started, pressing his lips against the rim of his glass as he took a swig. “Was from my music theory class.”
“When?” you quickly asked, shocking even yourself.
 “Is that part of the question?” he teased smugly, picking a kalamata olive off of the tray and piercing it with his finger before popping it in his mouth. 
You licked your lips nervously. “No, it isn’t,” you admitted. “You don’t have to answer that, I was just curious.”
“You wanna get high?” 
He was staring directly into your eyes when you looked up at him again. 
“I feel like it’ll make it easier to answer these.”
You nodded at him, biting your bottom lip. “Yes. Yes, I do want to.” 
“My room?” he asked, picking up both of your glasses as he stood. 
“Your room,” you confirmed, following suit. 
Through the slats in his blinds, you could see that the ground was completely covered in a white blanket of snow. You spent some time watching it fall from his bed as he packed a bowl. 
“Here,” he said gently to get your attention. “You take the first hit. I’m going to light it and you’re going to suck in and hold it in.”
You nodded in understanding. 
“Not too much though,” he warned. 
The glass was cool in your hands as you took it from him. When he held the flame to it, you did as you were told before exhaling with care. He was looking at you with a proud expression when you met his eyes. 
You handed it back over to him, waiting until he was in the process of taking a hit before you spoke. 
“Tell me when you slept with her,” you demanded calmly, biting back a smirk at the way his breathing faltered. 
It had turned into a game of chicken as you held each other’s gazes silently. 
“You haven’t even answered the required question yet and you want me to do the extra credit?” he quipped. 
“The last person I fucked was a guy from tinder back home, and it happened a couple of months before I left,” you informed him confidently. “I’ve only ever had one boyfriend, and he was a prick, so when we broke up, I went on a tinder bender just to feel something.”
A small smile spread across his pink lips as he listened. 
“Now you.”
“She was my girlfriend last year. We broke up in April and I had a hard time saying no to late-night texts until the end of June.” His tone was sincere as far as you could tell, as were his eyes. 
You were starting to feel the hit you’d taken by then, and you took a pause from the conversation to lean over the side of his bed and grab the bag of suckers you knew was waiting there for this very occasion. 
The high washed over you in a gentle, pleasant manner, leaving you feeling a little dreamy. 
“Sucker?” you asked, holding the bag open for him. He breathed a laugh - probably at you offering him his own candy - and then plucked one from the bag. 
After he had it unwrapped, he held the bowl out to you again. “Want another? Or am I going to have to smoke the rest of this myself?”
“Yes, I’m sure that would be very rough on you, poor baby,” you teased. 
He huffed a laugh, sitting up a bit straighter in his position. “You want another one or not?”
You stared at him wordlessly for longer than was socially acceptable, but when you finally spoke, it was with conviction. “I’ll have another baby hit.” You pulled the cards from the pocket of your pajama pants. “But then we’re playing another card, right?.”
He glanced down at the bowl and then back up to you. “When you say ‘baby hit’-”
“I mean I want you to blow it into my mouth with your mouth,” you explained cheekily, making him huff a laugh. 
“You liked that, huh?” he asked, risking a dark glance up at you through his long lashes as his fingers played along the glass piece. 
You knew exactly what you wanted to say - could hear it in your head, but your body felt tight with nerves at the thought of actually saying it. “Not as much as you did, I’m guessing.”
Oh, damn, you said it. 
A smirk played across his mouth, his eyes half hooded. If you hadn’t been paying attention, you would have thought he was completely unaffected by your teasing, but you had been listening to his breathing, so you were perfectly aware when it changed slightly. It was just the smallest difference in sound like he was pulling in air through tighter lungs. 
“Be careful with what you’re accusing people of.” A warning, definitely, but almost more of a challenge. In the months that you’d spent with him, you’d never seen him like that, but you suppose you wouldn’t have unless- Unless you were about to make him do something truly reckless. 
You bit your bottom lip out of an anxious, excited energy. “Oh, my mistake then.”
The ball was in his court, and you could tell that he was expecting him to continue pressing him. A look of slight disappointment flashed behind his eyes, but you weren’t done yet. 
You nodded toward the bowl, prompting him to glance down at it like he had forgotten what he was doing in the game he was playing with you. He kept eye contact with you as he brought it to his mouth and lit it. You watched the white smoke circle the inside of the globe before he sucked it into his lungs. 
You tilted your chin up in invitation and tried to relax your muscles as he leaned in, his throat looking tight. 
You felt his nose brush yours first before you realized you had closed your eyes in anticipation. The smoky smell hit you first when you realized you were supposed to be taking it from him. You opened your eyes and tried to breathe it all in, but most of it was lost to the room. 
He had a tiny smirk playing on his features until you reached out and wrapped your hand around the back of his neck, pressing his forehead against yours in an abrupt motion. You could tell he had his teeth clenched by how tight his jaw looked. 
You couldn’t stop yourself from playing your fingers along the sharp line of it. 
“Do you want me?” you whispered, voice barely there at all. 
Through a labored breath, he responded with a smoky sounding, “What would give you that impression?”
You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you, but unsurprisingly, it came out sounding raw. Your fingers brushed across the short hair on the nape of his neck, the pleasant feeling causing his eyelids to flutter. 
You leaned forward until you pressed your cheekbone against his, lips right by his ear, and pointedly asked, “Do. You. Want. Me?”
“Fucking of course, I do,” he spat through clenched teeth, sounding distressed as his hands wrapped around your waist, thumbs pressed into your hipbones on either side. 
“Should we?” you asked, pulling back so you could see his face. 
“Probably not.” His words were humored, a melodic laugh accompanying them, but still somehow managed to not sound any less strained. 
You considered what he was saying for a moment, relishing in the idea that this was the last moment before the point of no return. “Just one hookup,” you reasoned. 
He smirked at you, looking all too smug and disbelieving. “Okay,” he agreed. 
Patiently, you waited for him to make the first move, your heartbeat bouncing around like a basketball in your chest. When you felt his hands move from your hips, your body tensed, trying to predict where they’d end up next. 
As he cupped your jaw with both hands, you melted a little, muscles noticeably relaxing. 
The kiss was tentative at first - just a brushing of his lips on yours like he was testing the waters. He held your face like he was afraid that you were going to vanish into thin air - like your presence was the key to his existence. 
You could hear his shallow breaths as he opened his mouth, pressing it against yours. His tongue tasted like the orange sucker he’d abandoned on its wrapper on top of the dresser next to his bed. You lapped at it, body rising as you shifted to crawl into his lap. With the way he was sitting, cross-legged on his bed straddling him was a bit of a strain on your inner thighs, but the feeling was oddly pleasing - like a warm-up for the workout you were about to endure. 
He let go of your face to place his hands back on your hips, pulling your body as close to his as it physically could be. Before he could situate you too firmly, you started to unbutton your pajama shirt, and bless his heart, he couldn’t help but watch your fingers work. 
“Is this really happening, or this just a super high fever dream?” he asked, shaking his head as he frowned like he wasn’t sure he could trust his eyes. 
You wanted to laugh at him, but you could hardly blame his disbelief. If someone had told you even earlier that week that you’d be in this position, you would have rolled your eyes at them. You hadn’t realized how much you wanted this until it was about to happen.
The last button undone, you let the garment fall, the pink and white striped fabric slipping off the bed and to the hardwood. 
The cool air was shocking on your bare skin at first, causing it to tighten - well, that and you could practically feel his eyes raking over your chest. 
“It’s happening,” you assured, leaning in until you were speaking against his parted lips. 
The feeling of him brushing the pads of his fingers over your nipple made your breathing shudder. When you tipped your head back, he ducked in and pressed his mouth to your throat, dragging a stripe across your skin with the flat of his tongue. Every part of your whole body felt hot, but none more than between your legs. You tried to grind yourself down on him, but couldn’t seem to get a good angle - luckily, he seemed to notice, and halted your movements with his hands on your hips, stretching his legs out straight.
He pulled back just far enough to see your face when he ground you down onto him, the outline of his cock slipping against your core. Even with all the layers between you, the feeling still made you crumble against him, a whine escaping your lips of its own volition. It was clear that he felt it too as he bit his lip, his eyes fluttering. 
You seized the opportunity to get your fingers under his shirt, lifting it over his head as he held his arms up for you. Before he could prepare for it, you pressed closer, pressing a kiss to his temple and then nipping at his earlobe. The cool metal of his earring was pleasing against your tongue, and you reveled in the moment as he sucked in a sharp, shocked breath. 
His hands snaked around your sides, palms wide as he cupped your ass and used the leverage to pull you against him again. Burying his nose in the crook of your neck, he let a shaky breath escape him.
You could feel his thumbs hook under the elastic band of your pajama bottoms as he started to slip them down the cleft of your ass. Once it was bare, he ran his fingers over it, movement stalling as he looked at you with an eyebrow raised. 
“Are you not wearing panties?”
You scoffed. “Not to bed, obviously. Are you implying that you wear something under those loose pants?”
The corners of his lips tilted up in a wicked smirk. “I encourage you to find out.”
You giggled at his confidence, sweetly nudging your forehead against his, so he didn’t expect the swift movement of your hand as you tugged the tie of his sweats down. The answer to your previous question was “no” - he hissed as you grabbed his erection, swiping your thumb across the head, glossy from the dim light through the blinds. It was just a tease though, because a split second later, you let go of it in favor of wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your mouth against his again. 
As you pressed him back, he tried to hold you, but once he realized you weren’t just leaning on him for support, he relented. You laid him back on his bed, pulling back as you slipped your bottoms off the rest of the way. 
“Jesus,” he breathed as his eyes took in the whole of your naked body above him. “Hang on.” 
He reached to the bedside table and grabbed the bowl and lighter. After he sucked in another hit and set the piece back down, he tugged you in roughly, depositing the smoke directly into your mouth. You tried to hold it in like he had taught you, but you were much more interested in getting your tongue into his mouth. 
Still, you were plenty high, so much so that looking down on his bare form had tears threatening your eyes. He looked so soft and sweet despite the position he was in, his eyes half-lidded and one hand behind his head, one on your bare hip. 
You shifted until you could grind your core against the length of him, the wetness letting it slip through easily. 
“Fuck.” You had thought it was an exclamation of pleasure until you opened your eyes and saw a scowl painted across his face. “I definitely don’t have a condom.”
You hummed through a smile. “I don’t blame you, I definitely didn’t expect this.”
He frowned up at you. “We can just try something else if you want,” he offered.
“Well, I’m on birth control, and given the length of time between our last sexual encounters, I’m guessing we’re both clean - I know I am.”
He stared at you for a long moment before really realizing what you were implying, but once he did, he licked his lips in consideration. 
“Come here.” You weren’t sure what he was requesting until he grabbed onto your thighs and guided you up until you were straddling his face. 
The thought of it made you blush, and surely your cheeks were hot to the touch. 
He started with broad strokes of his tongue, just dragging it through. You briefly wished he had a headboard for you to brace yourself on, but your thoughts quickly became completely incoherent. You decided you were going to lean back instead, placing your palms flat on his bent knees. When you were completely comfortable and situated, he started pointedly flicking his tongue against your clit directly, first very soft and teasing, but building to something rougher and more deliberate. 
You thought you were actually going to shake apart when he sucked your clit right into his mouth, rolling the bead of it around on the flat surface. When you could feel yourself getting close to the edge, you threaded your fingers through his curls, keeping him close. 
The moment you lost it, everything in the room melted away from you - just a black expanse with flicks of color littered throughout it. 
You took a moment to catch your breath, trying to bring yourself, at least partly, back to reality. When you pulled away from him, you were met with the sight of him - the entire bottom half of his face slick with your come. 
He only let you watch in fascination as it dripped from his chin for a second before he was pushing you back, your head laid at the foot of the bed. He slipped his sweats off the rest of the way before crawling over you. 
There was no way you could have blamed him as he pushed in, seemingly not having any time for a slow entrance - you did make him sit there, untouched, for god knows how long. You certainly couldn’t name even a rough estimate for the amount of time passed. 
The spark of pleasure that shot through you made you throw your head back, your spine arching as you let out a whine. 
“I’m sorry, are you okay?” he breathed, through tight teeth.
“Yes,” you hissed as you ground yourself down onto him. “Keep going.”
Your eyes were closed, but you were sure he was wearing an awed expression. You grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him in until your foreheads were pressed together. When he started to move his hips, you let out a long, pleased hum, pressing your nails into the skin on his shoulders. 
Your whole lower half was still incredibly sensitive, so every time he brushed you, it made you writhe a bit beneath him. “Mm, fuck,” you growled as he intentionally reached down and pressed his thumb into your clit, the feeling resting somewhere between “just perfect” and “way too much”.  
He was biting his lip as he watched your reaction intently. You felt his hand snake down your outer thigh, gripping it from the bottom. He lifted it up, near-forcing you to wrap it around his hip.
The new angle was a different kind of feeling - something hot deeper in your gut like someone placed a smoldering ember in your belly.  You weren’t paying attention to anything but your own impending orgasm, so you didn’t expect it when he sucked your nipple into his mouth. He raked his teeth over the bud, causing your hips to jerk against him. 
When you opened your eyes and met his, you took a moment to absorb his expression - like he was seeing another dimension through your face. 
You could tell he was close when his lips fell open, but that was perfect because he was taking you with him. You hitched your legs around his hips and squeezed, letting your head tip back. 
When you came a second time, it was with his open mouth pressed to your throat, his hot breath hitting your damp skin. You let out a low whine, fingers tangled in his hair, probably a little too tight.
You suspected it was probably your muscles clenching in orgasm around him that set him off, a string of expletives falling from his kiss-swollen lips. His hips shuddered as he fucked you through it. 
The other side of your collective climax was warm and fuzzy, like watching home videos from the ‘60s. When he was able to hold himself all the way up, you ran your fingers through his damp curls affectionately. 
He was clearly trying to get his bearings, his breath flowing in and out of him like a tide. 
“Are you okay?” he whispered, sounding like he might not be able to speak any louder than he currently was if he wanted to.
 You hummed through a smile. “So good, Maybe never better.”
He rubbed his nose against yours, the smallest hint of an upward tilt to his lips. “I’m high as hell, so I’m not sure what’s acceptable for our situation right now, but can I kiss you?”
“We probably shouldn’t,” you admitted, making his expression fall slightly. 
He nodded at you in reluctant agreement. “You’re right.” 
You bit your bottom lip. “Ah, fuck it, we’ll start going back to normal tomorrow.”
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lovelivingmydreams · 3 years
Text
The worst possible thing.
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*stares at this long and hard.* Fine!
@kingcreativityau you know who is responsible for what comes next.
Yes @hunter-with-a-tardis I'm looking at you
Janus was pacing the floor. He didn't like this one bit.
“What's taking him so long?” he wondered aloud.
It was a rhetorical question and the sides who were sitting here waiting couldn’t answer him even if it wasn't. No one liked this plan. It hadn't even been a plan. It was half an idea Logan and Janus would have dismissed at once if Virgil hadn’t been in the room  and overheard Janus mumble about it. Harnessing Virgil’s given powers and undo what king had done.
It was too risky to even consider. Janus didn’t need Virgil to point out all  the ways it could go very wrong. To everyone’s shock Virgil came with a solution though. He'd take king up on his offer and finish the gallery, ask him to teach him to get control over the shadows. If king took a liking to teaching, which Virgil thought he might, he'd keep doing it and eventually Virgil could lift the curses and they all could get back to helping Thomas.
Janus had wanted to argue. Sure king enjoyed instructing others in skills he felt more proficient at. He recalled King teaching him to duel not too long ago. He also remembered what happened after the student caught up though. King storming away and then, after he'd managed to get out of king's obstacle… how he'd been cornered, the panic the punishment for daring to upset the king in any way. No this was their mess. Virgil was not yet on king's bad side. That was a card they couldn't waste on something that risky.
But Logan had been writing and Janus was convinced he'd say something similar. And Virgil was more likely to listen to Logan so he'd waited.
He should have known Logan would never just dismiss any idea out of hand.
Somehow they'd all agreed to see if Virgil could get a first lesson. And soon Virgil left them to practice with the king every day. Which should be a comfort right? King clearly enjoyed the activity and he was not suspicious of anything. That was exactly what had Janus worried now.
Because king wasn't the only one enjoying the lessons. Sure Virgil still seemed terrified of the man, but whenever he returned he was deep in thought, sometimes with a small smile on his face. The one that said: I just did something right.
He'd been looking at them oddly too, like he was figuring out a complicated puzzle.
Something was off but Virgil refused to talk about it. Something about a promise he made.
A click of a pen echoed through the mostly empty space and Janus' head snapped up.
Logan needed his attention.
He was scribbling down something as fast as he could and handed it over. Janus read it over. It was a long ramble, but it came down to one thing.
“I do have faith in Virgil. It's king I’m worried about. One perceived slight and…”
Janus touched the mark on his face. The memory of it's creation very vivid in his mind.
“Aw, you do care,” Virgil's voice came from behind him. Janus whirled around.
Something about what he saw took him back, to a time when he had two misfit friends who didn't hate him. Before the fight.
Maybe if was that mischievous smirk or the way he carried himself as if he couldn't care less what other people thought. Except now he really seemed to mean it.
His clothes weren’t back to normal by any means. They were upgraded though. From a dark version of Roman's original outfit to one reflecting the fitting in upgrade. Except Virgil wore a few medals pinned on his vest. As well as applying Virgil's black and purple with white detailing color scheme.
He also wore a dark purple hooded cape instead of a sash.
Most startling of all, he looked genuinely comfortable with it all.
“Virgil? Is that you?” Janus asked.
Virgil nodded, still smirking. “Indeed it is,” the deep terrifying voice of the King boomed and suddenly he stood behind him hands delicately resting on the youngest side’s shoulders.
But Virgil didn’t even flinch.
“Dear Anxiety made so much progress, I felt he deserved a promotion. I offered him the title of Prince,” king summoned a dark crown in his hand only to immediately clench his fist and make the image disappear. “but he is so loyal to those he considers friends he wouldn't even consider to take my light half’s title,” King praised fondly. He stroked Virgil's hair for a moment. “So he is my head counselor now on top of creative minister. And you should all be happy to know, he made a plea on your behalf.” King waved his hand and suddenly Patton was six years old.
“Wha… I can talk?” Logan gasped astonished.
“You explain the conditions to them. I have to get back to work.” And just like that, King was gone.
“You did it?” Janus asked perplexed this was too good to be true.
“King did. Don't take his generosity for granted,” Virgil warned sternly.
“Virgil, kiddo…”
“You shall not address me like that!” Virgil hissed, his voice booming, twisted and sinister, a dark aura flaring up, making them all step backwards in shock.
Virgil took a deep breath. “Names are for friends and allies. After what I heard… you’ll have to earn my trust back,” he explained a little calmer. They all froze in horror. King told him… of course he did. He'd have to be a fool not to.
“These gifts have conditions attached. Morality you can get back to your own age with good behavior, the reverse is true as well though. Logic your voice can not speak ill of the king and what you do say about him will find it’s way to us.
Any and all communication to the king must go through me. You remember my shadow?” the creature in question appeared next to Virgil.
“He'll… assist you when I am with the king. Ask him if you need to ask me or king something. Oh and fair warning….” Suddenly they all fell to the ground. Crushed by guilt and fear and desperation.
“I’ll do anything to protect Thomas from having to live without us ever again. I won‘t permit you to anger the king. Understood?”
They all nodded as they whipped at their tears.
“Good. Dismissed.” When they looked up Virgil was gone. Only his shadow remained. The creature stared back at them looking heartbroken. “I’m sorry,” it whispered.
“This… might be the worst possible thing,” Logan muttered as he helped Patton up. While the two oldest sides discussed their situation Janus stared in horror at the tragic looking shadow.
How could he have let this happen?
 Janus opened his eyes. He was sweating, his heart was racing. What was real, what was a dream? He looked around. He was in his room. He got up to his knees and tapped a rhythm neither he or his neighbor had heard in years. Virgil used to wake up from nightmares like this. Not sure about reality and scared to leave his room. So they came up with a system. Notes weren't an option when you didn't want to turn on the light and alert Remus someone was awake to play with him. So they made up their version of Morse code.
‘What is going on' was always the start of such a conversation. It was just a long series of rapid light knocks. The first reaction, ‘I hear you' was a flat palm against the door. Then you wait for the other to respond. Virgil's response was quicker than he expected.
‘Patton. Small. Logan. Silent. Twins. One.’
Janus nodded. He hadn't dared to hope that all of it was a dream.
‘you?’ he asked. Though he doubted if Virgil could know what to tell him to assure him he wasn't currently being tutored by king. ‘Scared. Confused. Angry. Sad.’
Janus bit his lip. Virgil didn't use the code for pupil. If there was any real plan like in his nightmare Virgil would mention it. He’d been on the other side of these conversations often enough. Yes, everything was… well not fine but not as horrible as he'd feared. All he had to do to keep his dream from happening was not leave Virgil alone with the king. And… maybe figure out how to tell Virgil what had happened all these years ago.
Janus got ready to knock. There was a knock that meant to convey empathy. To be a comforting reminder that Virgil was not alone. But halfway through he remembered another pattern. One Virgil would always close the conversation with. It was almost an alternative for goodnight in these conversations. But it meant ‘Sorry’. Janus' scales stung with the thought of that word. But if he knocked the pattern… it wasn't the same right?
He took a deep breath and started out with: ‘Thanks.’ He readied his hand it was just three knocks long… But the very thought was agony
‘Welcome. Good night.’
Janus sighed as he heard the reply. Perhaps another time.
‘Good night.’
@moonlightshow00 @naturallyunstablegamer @alias290 @meowthefluffy @antiredhuman
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