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chaiiitealeaves · 8 months

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look i've tried my best not to go absolutely insane about good omens s2 but that has failed miserably and here i am. i just. heres a massive rant mainly about aziraphale. (good omens s2 ep6 spoilers)

i am such a firm believer that there is no theorising to be had with the ending, regarding why aziraphale did what he did. there's nothing you can say. it was totally in character for aziraphale, and it was totally in character for crowley. it made so much sense and THAT is why it hurt; i just cannot for a second outsource aziraphales responsibility to the metatron or anyone else.

the metatron didn't coerce aziraphale - he didn't have to. aziraphale just jumped at the opportunity to 'fix' things. things, however, do not mean crowley. i mean, i'm sure this opinion has been BEATEN TO DEATH by now, but i'd still like to get it out there.

aziraphale tends to pick up very well on verbal communication, but not very well on non-verbal communication. aziraphale will always listen to crowley's outbursts (such as, calling crowley nice, and being pinned violently to a wall because of it), and will not take it personally. he listens, regardless of tone, and seems to understand crowley better through his verbal responses. that obviously isn't to say they ever communicate, THEY DON'T, but aziraphale is still better at verbal cues than non-verbal ones. aziraphale can never anticipate crowley's actions, however, and we see this with job's children. aziraphale was genuinely unsure of what crowley would do. with crowley, it seems to be the exact opposite. he anticipates aziraphale - he knows that aziraphale is going to like food before he's even tried it, he knows exactly how to coerce aziraphale to help stop armageddon in the first series/book because he knows exactly what aziraphale likes and cares about.

i think that communication difference is exactly why the end hurt so much. aziraphale - and i will die on this hill - must've firmly believed that crowley was going to be happy with the news. and so, he was totally lost when crowley responded poorly. and i mean, aziraphale knew IMMEDIATELY that crowley had responded poorly, he just thought that he had to explain his point better. aziraphale just wasn't able to pick up on the true reason for that very obvious, deep hatred for heaven that crowley has. his angelic ball of thoughts that we liken to a brain is telling him that not that crowley hates heaven because it's corrupt, but that crowley hates heaven because he was CAST OUT. it's a misinterpretation built on 6000+ years of no real communication.

aziraphale wanted to fix heaven for crowley, he didn't want to fix crowley for heaven. and yet, that's exactly how it came across. and because neither of them talk, crowley was taking aziraphale's words in his own (wrong) way, and aziraphale was taking crowley's reactions as 'not understanding'. honestly, aziraphale's overeager want to make things 'good' and 'right' again is what makes. every word he speaks is hypocrisy, because he's not speaking for a principle, he's speaking to try and convince someone. that's why we get such extreme statements from him: "you could be an angel again" is just an echo of "nothing lasts forever" - he is so insanely sure that crowley would want to - should want to - be an angel again, that he's willing to leave everything behind for his one little corrupt corner of eternity. it's poisonous, watching aziraphale stick so intensely to the rules of heaven and hell. but it's inherently in character.

to aziraphale, gabriel and beelzebub's departing was initially grounds for a confession. i mean, look at him.

just look at his absolute happiness at being able to take crowley out to dance!!! in this episode, we get some real gems of aziraphale's true, deep love in his reactions - the infatuated smiles, the 'you're being silly', the hand on crowley's chest in the pub, the 'oh, crowley loves saving me' and VERY specifically, the gripping of crowley's shirt when he sees gabriel and beelzebub together because it means that they could be too. and quite honestly, i don't think the series conclusion throws ANY of that away!! i think the conclusion enhances it so aggressively! why? because it's made so much more painful.

aziraphale was so, SO ready to accept crowley's confession. he was going to confess himself - i am willing to die on that hill. throughout the whole season, he seems so infatuated and so ready to open himself up. yet, the moment the metatron proposes a promotion to archangel, that is all thrown away. all the rebellion he was willing to put up is lost. and i can understand that, because of the switch around in thought pattern, it's easy to say that the metatron manipulated him. but honestly? i really disagree with that take!

aziraphale is just not the type of angel to go against the rules. it took stupid amounts of alcohol to even get him to consider going against heaven regarding armageddon, and even then, he had to find his own loophole to justify it, AND EVEN THEN, HE ATTEMPTED TO CONVINCE HEAVEN TO CALL IT OFF DEMOCRATICALLY UNTIL THE VERY END. THE REASON HE ENDED UP DISCORPORATED AND FORCED TO POSSESS MADAM TRACY WAS BECAUSE HE WAS CONVERSING WITH THE METATRON TO TRY AND DEMOCRATICALY STOP ARMAGEDDON.

as he was ending that tether of obedience - as his want to be with crowley overcame the want to follow the rules - he seemed more bold. when he saw gabriel and beelzebub, that boldness solidified. he was willing to break rules and stand up for himself and crowley - at least, that's how i interpreted it, this season. but of course, he switched his opinions when an easier and SAFER route was provided for him. by making crowley an angel again, all the 'problems' would be solved. he wouldn't have to disobey heaven, crowley wouldn't be bound to the 'wrong' side, and they could be together. of course this thought pattern is inherently wrong, but it's a route that he would be more willing to take because - in his mind - it is a route that protects them.

and oh my god!! that apology after the kiss!! despite the fact it was tone deaf, it was also an apology in good faith. like the apology in s1, he is doing something, but unlike the apology in s1, he's also doing another thing. these things are:

distancing himself from the scenario. by apologising, he doesn't have to actually confront that what crowley's saying might be the better option. he is giving crowley the opportunity to take back his words so that both of them can continue playing by the book. we see this in season one.

misinterpreting literally everything. in season 1, that apology was a distancing attempt. hard and fast, clean and cut. but this time, i am genuinely and ENTIRELY willing to believe that aziraphale didn't understand crowley's kiss. sure, the apology might've also been based on distancing himself, but i would rather die than step down from my belief that aziraphale just wasn't able to grasp why crowley would kiss him if it weren't to apologise.

let me elaborate on this because i can't just put it in one point.

that kiss was seemingly out of the blue, for aziraphale. they had argued, it was nearly over, and then crowley decided to do something kind of - to aziraphale - a bit mental.

i mentioned, at the start of this bloody endless essay, that aziraphale is more adept at picking up on verbal cues. crowley, however, is able to pick up on non-verbal cues. what makes the scene so heart-wrenching is how they both choose to communicate. aziraphale explains again and again because words are what should make sense, and so crowley fumbles his way through communication. aziraphale listens - he waits, he's patient, like he always is - and then he just goes back to explaining, calmly, patiently, as if crowley is somehow just not understanding it. so crowley, as a last ditch attempt to get aziraphale to stay and rethink everything, kisses him.

you know that scene. the scene. this one.

this thing? this moment? you know, where aziraphale doesn't even flinch? i mentioned this earlier - aziraphale is prioritising the words, and listening to their meanings, disregarding the venom in his tone. there's a reason people keep comparing the two scenes! whilst shot similarly, the most harrowing similarities and differences arise the moment you look a bit deeper. for example, aziraphales demeanour. he's calm when crowley pins him to the wall and seethes in his tone, but he's flailing when kissed. see, when crowley finally does something that isn't accompanied by words - a human display of passion and love, a plea - aziraphale has nothing verbal to go off of.

"i forgive you" is a terrible thing to say, don't get me wrong, but aziraphale jumped to one conclusion. one that would let him believe - in his mind - the best case scenario. that the kiss was an apology. and so, when crowley storms out, we get this.

regret, confusion, guilt, that's all very present. he's not only misunderstood crowley, but he's talked down to him and severed a very important and close relationship. but the way he touches his own lips, oh my god.

aziraphale's always been tempted by humanely pleasures. food, obviously. but he also just enjoys their culture an obvious amount. books, for instance! that's not something you'd be getting in heaven, even though the bible is probably endorsed. books are a human thing. as is food, as is theatre, as is magic.

a kiss is totally within that spectrum. it's a human pleasure. and aziraphale adores that closeness, and he has just LOST IT FOREVER. it's the most specific look of regret i've ever seen on a character. it's performed so well. aziraphale truly thinks that he's doing what he's doing for good - transforming heaven, making it less corrupt, making it better. so when he walks away for good and gets in the elevator, he thinks he's making the right sacrifice. but, if you ask me, crowley must be thinking that aziraphale has finally found the one temptation he won't give into.

and it's crippling, for the both of them.

tldr; aziraphale fucked up so bad, and it is his own fault. but also, it's still totally in character!!!

sorry for the longest post ever oh mygod

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