#update i did it :P lol now maybe i should do some work bc i've wasted so much time lmao

[kuiinncedes]

bout to make an irresponsible redbubble purchase lmao 🤪

#i mean i think every day how i wish i had more stickers and to have more stickers i need to BUY MORE STICKERS #also the j/atp fan zine shop opens tomorrow and i want to buy stuff from that if i can lmfao #but redbubble sent me a 20% code for today lmaooo so i'm just gonna do it nowwww #i did just take stuff out of my cart and i'll probably regret it but also idk i hate spending money lmao even tho i Can #versus my brother who's like fine with buying food every day lol i'm here like if there's food at home i'm eating it #that's kinda unrelated lmao just we're very different XD #anyway i should buy before i procrastinate again bc i've been pushing the stuff in my cart off for so long lol #but it was kinda good bc now i have a nice coupon code lmao #jeanne talks #also getting a sunset curve tshirt 😈 i went to our big like student org showcase/festival/idk and someone had j/atp stickers on their #water bottle and they said another person also said they like their stickers and i said that and then i'm like #well shit i really gotta get some stickers and draw the j/atp fans to me lol #update i did it :P lol now maybe i should do some work bc i've wasted so much time lmao

[lovenotesuggestions]

I guess this is KINDA an advice ask but mostly just, ugh my brain. So I've been with my bf for over a year now and (at least I think) we're still very happy. The only thing that bothers me sometimes (and I get mad at ME, not at him, cause it's not his fault at all) is that, because of my past I'm kinda hypersexual, and he was for a while but has his own stuff mentally going on so. We used to do a LOT of stuff on disc (ldr), but because of his own things (that again I don't blame him for) 1/? 🦎

(2/?) we just don’t do as much. The reason I get mad at me is I get really grumpy and irritable if I go too long. This is all kinda important to my main issue (which I plan to talk to him about, I just also need to vent to someone else ;w; ). So, main thing: For almost a year, I lost legit all attraction to anyone but him. I could admit that yeah someone was aesthetically nice, but I felt no attraction to anyone else. -🦎

(3/?) And I was p much okay with that. Like I know it’s normal and human to feel attraction elsewhere even in a healthy relationship, and I’d NEVER act on any kind of attraction, but I was okay NOT having that feeling too. Just not even thinking it. But sometime this last week I started getting this thought of “this singer might be the only other person in the world I’m attracted to” and tbh I did not want that thought, it made me uncomfortable. -🦎

(4/4) but unfortunately frustration’s just been building and I kept thinking about it, and also had a brief little attraction to a youtuber we both watch and I almost cried because it felt so wrong to me. Just, ugh, I know that it’s normal and natural and there’s nothing wrong because I’m 100% devoted to him but why are brains like this. It’s been bothering me so long and I hate it x.x Sorry this was like, obnoxiously long lol. -🦎

🦎 so little update im sure my rambling is queued if it went through, if none of it did then feel free to ignore this! lol, but i talked to him about it and idk it didn’t help i felt worse bc it made him upset (not AT me, just upset, hurt) and i kinda hate myself but i hope it all passes lol.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. 

I don’t know how much it will help to hear this seeing as you already know it, but maybe hearing someone else validate your thoughts will be helpful to you:

You aren’t doing anything wrong. Attraction is a normal part of most people’s lives, even in relationships. Hell, my partner and I (totally monogamous, exclusive relationship) actively thirst over ppl together, talk about how hot celebrities are, etc. There is nothing wrong with you at all, and you aren’t doing anything wrong by your partner for having attraction to other people. 

It might just be a matter of getting used to having those feelings for other people again - if you spent a long time not experiencing that kind of attraction, it makes sense that you might find it distressing or upsetting, but hopefully that feeling will pass, like you said - both for you and for him. 

You also aren’t wrong for having sexual needs - you aren’t doing anything to pressure him or make him uncomfortable, so there’s nothing wrong with feeling frustrated when those needs aren’t met, and there might be compromises that can be made to make sure you’re able to meet your own needs if he’s not in the mood, like maybe him writing out some kind of steamy messages or sharing pictures (ofc provided they’re stored securely, you’re both of age, and trust one another 100% - I’m sure you know this but I ofc need to point out that ppl should always be v careful and responsible sharing pictures) or something like that that you can save and use when you need to let off some steam, so you can still have him ‘involved’ in some way, even if he’s not in the mood to participate. It’s worth having a conversation with him about things you might be able to work out to make sure both of your needs are met. 

You aren’t a bad partner, and by the sounds of it, you’re doing everything right here, and it’s just an unfortunate situation outside of your control. You aren’t doing anything wrong by him. 

I hope you feel better soon 💕

#advice #sex / #not a suggestion #negative / #rant #long post #i love queue #Anonymous #answered #lizard anon