#viktor frankl said what is to give light must endure burning and i think about that too

[septembersghost]

dear anon, i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, not out of lack of care for you, only out of deference and sensitivity for the rest of my followers in case anyone might find it triggering, but i am so sorry that you're struggling, and that you lost a friend who was hurting too. i really think you need to speak to someone if that is at all an option for you - please look into local resources, you can't manage this by yourself and you shouldn't have to be alone in it. there's no promise i can make to you that this will simply get better, i know life doesn't always work that way and sometimes it feels like the ground is slipping out from under you, and it's a constant fight to keep going and pushing through each day, and that can hurt and be exhausting, but you deserve to be here. you also deserve a safe place where you can be heard and given support to begin to heal. when it can be better even for only a moment, even for only a song or a page or a dream, those are anchors worth holding onto. healing itself isn't an easy or painless (or linear) process, i grapple with it constantly myself, though our situations may be quite different, but i believe, i know, that you have that strength and that you're worthy of it. even if you can only move little by little, one day at a time, that's valuable, that still has hope in it. the smallest things add up, and sometimes you will stumble into the light without even realizing it was there. i care that you're here. staying alive is enough. and so are you.

#not to get too graphic but since i do struggle with ideation off and on and have for 13 years...i know it's crushingly hard at times #i'm a little distanced from things atm so it's easier for me to confront this right now but for essentially the past three and a half years #i have lived in a constant state of contemplating when i'd have to die and how that could happen #i know it feels alternately terrible and tempting #and i'll be honest i still can't guarantee to anyone that eventually...you know? i can't realistically make that promise. #so all i can do is try each day to stay afloat and to cherish the time i have while it's here #and to love the things and people i'm so lucky to love while i have them. which is all ANY of us can do really #we never know what our time will be or how much we'll be given. but i do know that it's precious and it's worth having #the fact that you're alive is a miracle. i think of that so often it's practically a prayer. #viktor frankl said what is to give light must endure burning and i think about that too #i think about leonard cohen writing there's a crack in everything that's how the light gets in #i think about buffy saying strong is fighting. it's hard and it's painful and it's every day. it's what we have to do. #you have intrinsic value and you are enough and you deserve to be here #anonymous #letterbox #suicidal ideation tw