#you have intrinsic value and you are enough and you deserve to be here

[septembersghost]

dear anon, i don't feel comfortable posting that ask, not out of lack of care for you, only out of deference and sensitivity for the rest of my followers in case anyone might find it triggering, but i am so sorry that you're struggling, and that you lost a friend who was hurting too. i really think you need to speak to someone if that is at all an option for you - please look into local resources, you can't manage this by yourself and you shouldn't have to be alone in it. there's no promise i can make to you that this will simply get better, i know life doesn't always work that way and sometimes it feels like the ground is slipping out from under you, and it's a constant fight to keep going and pushing through each day, and that can hurt and be exhausting, but you deserve to be here. you also deserve a safe place where you can be heard and given support to begin to heal. when it can be better even for only a moment, even for only a song or a page or a dream, those are anchors worth holding onto. healing itself isn't an easy or painless (or linear) process, i grapple with it constantly myself, though our situations may be quite different, but i believe, i know, that you have that strength and that you're worthy of it. even if you can only move little by little, one day at a time, that's valuable, that still has hope in it. the smallest things add up, and sometimes you will stumble into the light without even realizing it was there. i care that you're here. staying alive is enough. and so are you.

#not to get too graphic but since i do struggle with ideation off and on and have for 13 years...i know it's crushingly hard at times #i'm a little distanced from things atm so it's easier for me to confront this right now but for essentially the past three and a half years #i have lived in a constant state of contemplating when i'd have to die and how that could happen #i know it feels alternately terrible and tempting #and i'll be honest i still can't guarantee to anyone that eventually...you know? i can't realistically make that promise. #so all i can do is try each day to stay afloat and to cherish the time i have while it's here #and to love the things and people i'm so lucky to love while i have them. which is all ANY of us can do really #we never know what our time will be or how much we'll be given. but i do know that it's precious and it's worth having #the fact that you're alive is a miracle. i think of that so often it's practically a prayer. #viktor frankl said what is to give light must endure burning and i think about that too #i think about leonard cohen writing there's a crack in everything that's how the light gets in #i think about buffy saying strong is fighting. it's hard and it's painful and it's every day. it's what we have to do. #you have intrinsic value and you are enough and you deserve to be here #anonymous #letterbox #suicidal ideation tw

[scoobydoodean]

Adding onto the "John’s emotional outpourings" thought train:

I think it’s so interesting that in his final speech to Dean, not only does he applaud Dean for assuming the parentified and spousified role that he himself forced on him ("You took care of Sammy and you took care of me"), he also specifically praises Dean’s obedience and lack of self-advocacy in the matter ("You did that, and you didn't complain. Not once.")

Hearing John acknowledge everything Dean’s sacrificed for their family no doubt meant a lot to him, but I actually think it was very detrimental to his self-worth in the long run. It further cements the idea that Dean’s value is intrinsically tied to how useful he is to others, to how much shit he’s willing to take from loved ones without a word of protest, and to how much of himself he can give away. By the end of the season se see this idea culminate in him selling his soul ("At least this way, it’s like my life could mean something."), which is really just the natural extension of how his life and his body have always been treated as bargaining chips.

This is an interesting interpretation, Anon—not one I aim to take issue with, but since it's in my inbox, I'll share where my interpretation differs. It might be more in the sense of John's intentions.

I think there's a reason John opens with and mainly gives an apology—for being an empty shell—for Dean having to fill his shoes—and the majority of his speech being an apology and given within the context that John himself failed and that Dean had to fill his shoes biases me against interpreting the closing lines where he praises Dean's actions as him meaning to say that's where Dean's inherent worth lies.

JOHN You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say "It's okay, Dad" Dean, I'm sorry. DEAN What? JOHN You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast.

To me, John is saying the opposite of that Dean's worth lies in being the eternal care taker. It's him saying that Dean deserved to be protected and cherished and comforted, and John utterly failed, and instead Dean had to pick up his slack—carry his dead weight—and that wasn't fair. He finishes with,

You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.

I take this not as John necessarily praising that Dean didn't complain? I take it as an acknowledgment that Dean is an actual person. The same way John knew Dean wanted a home despite Dean insisting differently to us and Sam in various season 1 episodes, John understands that what Dean does and what Dean feels are different things. Dean is not the mindless John robot Sam framed Dean as in 1.10. There's a reason Dr. Ellicot wanted to make Dean better in 1.10 and tried to ghost-lobotomize him (because Dean was angry—because he resented his family [1.06]) but there's also a reason Dean was able to resist his ghost-lobotomy long enough to burn Ellicot's bones.

In regards to being proud of Dean—I mentioned that I think John focuses on this because he saw what tipped Dean off that he was possessed by Azazel in 1.22. But supplying further context here—1.21-1.22 are about Sam and John both fighting to be the first one to die for revenge... and being willing to sacrifice each other. In 1.22, as they are about to enter the building where John is located, Sam insists that Dean not bring The Colt with them. He doesn't want to waste a bullet for John. Sam insists this is what John would want, and Dean says he doesn't give a damn what John wants. Dean sneaks the gun in anyway, and kills a demon who's beating Sam to death with it. That's what leads to the conversation about the the wasted bullet with Azazel!John.

Dean: You’re not mad? John: For what? Dean: Using a bullet. John: Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you – you watch out for this family. You always have.

It's chilling that Azazel is the one to praise Dean, isn't it? And it's further chilling that that's what tips Dean off that this is not his dad.

Dean knows this isn't John specifically because John would not appreciate what Dean did for their family this whole episode—what Dean has always done in fact: keep their family afloat and keep them all alive while John was busy being stuck in his own head, burning with rage and vengeance... and even throwing blame at Dean. Dean got yelled at by Sam before he brought the gun in for wanting to prioritize John's safety over revenge, and Dean was ready to get yelled at by John too for prioritizing Sam over revenge. John would be too blinded by vengeance to notice or even give a damn that Dean saved Sam's life. John would tear Dean a new one for being the only rational person in the room—the only person who hasn't been swallowed whole by bloodlust to the point of not giving a damn about the rest of the family... and in a less extreme sense, this is how it has always been. Dean has always been unappreciated. So John shows a little goddamn appreciation for the fact that Dean kept them afloat— for the first time ever. Then pointedly—John's last act is to finally prioritize Dean's safety specifically over his revenge. He abandons the revenge quest that just one episode meant more than Dean or Sam's lives, and hands The Colt over to his mortal enemy to save his son. He chooses love for Dean over vengeance.

What sullies John's speech—what poisons it for Dean—is what John does right after. And this is what I meant about John "poisoning the well". John apologizes for putting everything on Dean's shoulders right before... leaving Dean with the bag for the rest of eternity. It isn't like John's going on vacation—he's going to Hell. But he still permanently makes Sam Dean's responsibility. He doesn't even tell Sam what's going on—he treats Sam like a child and makes Dean his permanent guardian, permanently foisting his parental obligations on his parentified son right after apologizing for allowing him to become parentified, and that ruins John's speech.

I think Dean selling his soul has several interconnected motivations, and absolutely—a gigantic one is Dean's parentification and the belief that he is disposable. Dean feeling disposable and like sacrificing for his family is all he's good for was never going to be solved by one conversation, but John's one conversation is also ruined, and arguably just makes Dean more resentful because John pushes at this scabbed over wound for Dean, making it raw, and instead of wrapping a bandage around it, he ultimately pushes his thumb in. However, also leading into Dean's demon deal is 1) Dean loves his brother. 2) Dean being made to feel responsible for Sam specifically for his entire life 3) Dean's believes he came back wrong and him being alive is unnatural (it's left a hole in his chest—he feels unbalanced—angry—off—almost monstrous) and sacrificing himself will restore the natural order and help him escape this looming monstrosity. 4) Dean is trying to escape John and Sam's expectations and demands—that he fulfill John's dying wish and make himself responsible for Sam by saving or killing him. In a disturbing way, it's how Dean is liberated.

By making the demon deal, Dean has fulfilled "saving Sam" through an very unintended loophole, and avoided "kill Sam"—a mandate Dean was perpetually haunted by all of season 2—that Sam was determined to enforce at every opportunity while knowing it was what made Dean want to die! Being responsible for the whole rest of Sam's life makes Dean tired—it's why he says he can't handle the weight on his shoulders—he can't handle the pressure and the expectations that he chain himself to Sam's destiny for eternity. He's tired. He just wants to escape... and he initially sees his demon deal as a light at the end of the tunnel—as a way to get away. It makes him feel good for the first time in a long time (3.01)... because he is freed of the burden of his family's expectations and demands. When Dean starts to explore why he doesn't care that he's dying... that's where he confronts his parentification and objectification.

#mail #season 2 #2.01 #1.22 #3.01 #john #i dont deserve what he put on me #parentification #dont objectify me!

[thedemoninme141]

Blade Of Miquella Chapter 9: The Woe That I Love.

Summary: Wednesday is selfish enough to hide the bitter truth from you for your sake, for now. Warnings: EmotionallyStrugglingWednesday! ANGST! Previous Chapter 👉 HERE! Blade Of Miquella Chapterlist 👉 HERE With every passing second, Wednesday's heart seemed to beat in sync with the ticking of the clock. Each tick was a reminder of the fleeting moments bringing her closer to your room, a journey filled with both eagerness and trepidation. Her steps echoed down the corridor, a symphony of anticipation building within her, yet her mind was a tempest of nerves, threatening to overwhelm her. The path she traversed should have been a familiar one, but her thoughts were a whirlwind of nervousness that threatened to sweep her away. How could she express what had been churning within her during all this time of waiting? "Thank you for saving my life." No it felt like a feeble offering, insufficient to convey the depth of her emotions. She believed you deserved more than a mere platitude, more than the casualness of those two words. The sentiment she held for you was beyond the ordinary, a sentiment she struggled to articulate. You deserve better than a simple thank you. "I love you" carried a weight that both exhilarated and daunted her. Could she truly summon the courage to voice those three potent words? They were laden with a power that transcended mere vocabulary, capable of unraveling the layers she kept guarded. However, the echoes of her past mistakes reverberated, a discordant reminder of how she had once treated you as a mere pawn in her investigation. Could she, who had failed to see your intrinsic value beyond her pursuits, even dare to say those words? "I missed you" resonated with a depth that defied articulation. The days of your absence had carved a hollow ache within her, a void that seemed to grow with each passing moment. The longing she experienced was both a testament to your significance in her life and a reminder of her own vulnerability.

“I am sorry for everything I did to you.” Regret coursed through her veins, a heavy lament for the pain she had inflicted upon you. She had caused you to feel isolated, utilized, and unappreciated. Her obsession had blinded her to your true worth, a worth that surpassed any trivial pursuit she had embarked upon.

The hallway leading to your room passed by in a blur, and before she knew it, she stood at the threshold. The door was both a barrier and a gateway to the emotions that had swirled within her. As she turned the handle and entered, the reality hit her like a sudden gust of wind. Your eyes, so captivating and full of stories, met hers. They held a depth that spoke of experiences shared and unspoken connections. The sight of you, pale and fragile yet radiating an inner strength, stirred a whirlwind of emotions within her. You sat on the bed, cradled in your brother's arms. Tears glistened in your eyes, but they weren't tears of sorrow; they were tears of overwhelming emotion. The raw vulnerability in your gaze struck a chord within Wednesday's heart. The emotions that had been confined within her chest were now surging forth like a tidal wave. Almost bracing herself for the possibility of receiving a gaze laced with bitterness or even hatred from you, Wednesday was taken aback by what she found in your eyes. The emotions held within your gaze were intricate, a mosaic of sentiments that she found herself struggling to decipher. Rather than the anticipated hostility, your gaze held a softness, a tenderness that seemed to extend an unexpected hand of sympathy towards her. It was a look that defied her expectations, leaving her momentarily perplexed as she attempted to unravel the enigma you presented. Why? That was the question that reverberated through her mind like a haunting refrain. Why would you, who had every reason to meet her with resentment, offer a gaze that seemed to convey understanding, or perhaps even forgiveness? The complexity of your emotions was mirrored in her own uncertainty, and for a moment, she felt as if she were peering into a labyrinth of thoughts that eluded easy interpretation. Interpreting the significance of the sudden hush that enveloped the room, John's grasp on you gradually loosened, allowing you to ease out of his embrace. As he moved past Wednesday, a silent exchange of acknowledgement passed between them. His nod conveyed an unspoken understanding, a recognition of the need for a private moment between you and Wednesday. "We should give them a moment," his voice was gentle, a suggestion rather than a command, as he stepped away from the scene. Larissa, Enid, and Xavier seemed to intuitively follow his lead, leaving the room with a collective air of respect for your space.

As the door closed, sealing off the world beyond, you were left alone with Wednesday. The silence was a canvas upon which a myriad of thoughts, feelings, and unspoken words seemed to dance. It was a moment suspended in time, a pocket of solitude where the boundaries of your connection with Wednesday held the power to stretch and expand.

As Wednesday began to move toward you, her steps measured and cautious, you sensed the vulnerability that underscored her demeanor. You shifted slightly on the bed, creating a space beside you – a silent invitation that needed no words. She accepted, lowering herself onto the edge of the bed. Her gaze remained locked onto yours, her hand hovering over yours, a hesitant caress that spoke of both longing and uncertainty. "May I?" her voice carried a blend of trepidation and hope, a question that transcended its words. You responded with a simple nod, granting permission that held layers of meaning beyond its simplicity. With a gentle touch, her fingers finally intertwined with yours, and within that connection flowed a cascade of unspoken emotions. Wednesday inhaled deeply, mustering the courage to voice the sentiments that had been simmering within her for so long. "I am profoundly sorry for not recognizing your value in my life earlier. I've been cruel to you," she confessed, her words heavy with sincerity. Your eyes, reflective of a sadness deeper than the surface, gazed into hers. "You are deserving of so much more – someone far better than me. But it's because of you that I aspire to improve, to become someone more worthy. Without you, I…" Wednesday's voice caught as if her breath itself was ensnared. Biting her lower lip, she briefly looked away, her heart bared in a way she had never before dared. A tender caress of your hand upon hers encouraged her to meet your gaze once more. As you tilted your head slightly, a soft smile graced your lips. This simple gesture stirred a flutter in Wednesday's chest; she hadn't witnessed that smile in so long. In that instant, she vowed to strive tirelessly to preserve that smile on your face. "Torture has never held terror for me, but now, I find myself fearing this torment of not holding your hand, of being denied the privilege to elicit your smile, of our separation. I make you a solemn promise – if you choose to welcome me back into your life, granting me a second chance, I will cherish every passing moment." The earnestness in Wednesday's voice was unmistakable. As she braced herself for a possible rejection, the uncertainty of the moment looming large, she was taken aback when you seized her and pulled her into your arms. In that embrace, an unfamiliar lightness suffused her being, and for the first time in her life, she experienced a profound sense of peace. "You are my only love, in every life Wednesday." You whispered, your voice tinged with tears as you recalled how Goody showed you Wednesday following you to death in every life. "You are the woe that I love, in every life."

Later, your brother John asked you the question, Wednesday's heart knew already that you would not accept his offer, that you would stay with her, yet she was introduced to this newfound fear that she felt every moment, Losing you. "I know you mean well, I know how much you care about me, how much you sacrificed for me. But… I can't. I can't leave them, Over the years, Nevermore has become my haven, my family. I am sorry… I.." Your words trailed, on the brink of being overcome by emotion, your eyes glistening with brimming tears. "Shhh, It's okay baby girl, it's okay, It's okay. I know." John's voice wrapped around you like a protective shield, soothing the turmoil that surged within. "And you were worth everything to me, you always were, you are, and always will be. I will keep my promise, I will find your cure." His words, resonant and assured, cut through the uncertainty that had clouded your heart. Wednesday, observing the hope that illuminated your eyes, recognized the unwavering faith you held in your brother's promise. It was this very faith that propelled you through the relentless trials that life had hurled at you. And that got Wednesday thinking again, should she tell you about her vision? Should she unravel the truth before you? The weight of it all settled upon her as she imagined the profound heartbreak that might envelop you if you were to learn that there is no cure. She fears if you find out about the truth, you might give up on everything, you might give up on her. And so, as self-interested as it may be, she concluded that, for now, she would shield you from this truth, wrapping it in the cocoon of silence, not out of deceit but out of a desire to protect the fragile equilibrium you both had. FINAL PART 👉 HERE

[ "its okay baby girl." was from another series that holds a special place in my heart, "The Last Of Us". -♥♥♥Celine♥♥♥]

#wednesday addams x you #wednesday x reader #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday #wednesday addams angst #wednesday addams fanfic #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday angst #wednesday x female reader #wednesdayaddams #wednesday addams x female reader #wednesday x you #wednesday addams x y/n #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday x fem!reader #angst #wednesday 2022 #wednesday netflix

[celluloidbroomcloset]

"I dunno - maybe I just resist the idea that Ed hated himself so much that he’d fuck someone as vicious as that."

I've only been loosely following the discussion these past couple of days, so I may be missing things, but I think that statement up there may be where the misunderstanding has been coming from? In that it's not a disagreement about the show itself, but just a different philosophical understanding of casual sex to begin with.

Who you have sex with does not intrinsically say anything about you as a person or imply that you hate yourself just because you fucked someone who may be shitty. (Which, Ed does canonically hate himself, that's a big thing about himself, but irrelevant to the point I'm making here in any case)

Jack was someone he had fun with and who was easily available, someone who he's initially excited enough to see again even after years because he's someone he's obviously associated with fun in the past, and sex here is just a different kind of fun, it really doesn't have to mean anything more than that or imply any damning thing about Ed as a person just because of his choice of partner for a hookup. I think that is in fact a pretty big part of it, that the kind of sex Ed had before Stede was always meaningless and lacking a deeper connection, just something to do for a fleeting bit of fun with whoever was around and willing, and he's tired of it by the time Stede comes around, and shows him that he can actually aspire to better than the only thing that's ever been an option to him in the past.

Ed enjoying rowdier fun and casual unattached sex is a value neutral statement, there's nothing inherently wrong with that by itself, nor does it denote anything wrong with Ed's character just because some of his partners may have been shitty people (other than maybe bad taste). There are many toxic things about pirate culture in general and Jack specifically as a person and in his relationship with Ed, but that aspect of it is not actually one of them.

Anyway, I feel like I'm talking in circles a bit, but I get the impression that's what originated all the discourse: people's issue seems to be not so much with your preference to interpret Jack as lying here, but the fact that your reasoning to dismiss the option that he's telling the truth seems to be coming from a place with some unfortunate implications about casual sex and the people who engage in it, that other people don't necessarily share, so for them Ed and Jack having sex does not actually grant Jack this undue power over Ed that you've been referring to.

I apologise if I'm out of line and overstepping here, I know this can be more of a personal matter. It just seemed to me to be a big blind spot in this conversation, so I thought it might be worth pointing it out to hopefully shed some clarity.

K, I'm gonna try to unpack this and be as clear as I can about what I actually think, because this is getting complicated. I've no clue if this is what people are actually taking away from this conversation, and a lot of what I'd originally said was unclear on my part and then ran away from me, so now there's a Discourse that goes beyond what I'd intended or meant.

No, I do not hold the opinion that casual sex is bad or wrong. Yes, it is a neutral thing. For some people, it's awesome and they love it; for others, it makes them feel shitty and they'd rather not do it. That's down to the individual. I am strongly of the opinion that everyone should do what feels right for them, as long as the people involved are consenting to it. Human relationships are complicated.

In terms of Ed: no, there is nothing wrong with him fucking whomever he likes (with consent). That includes Jack. If I ever implied otherwise, I am sorry.

Ed having had bad partners is not a value judgment on him. Ed thinking he only deserves bad partners and that the only way he can be touched is with violence makes me very sad for Ed. What I said in the previous post is entirely my emotional reaction; maybe I just see how fucking awful Jack is and I'd rather that Ed not have been subjected to his fucking awfulness. That's not blaming Ed for having had a bad partner, but preferring that he not have had a bad partner.

In terms of Ed's characterization, I think this gets more complicated. We see Ed desiring things that he hasn't gotten: intimacy, softness, gentleness. We see him wanting Stede to hold him, and not knowing how to ask for that except via a violent game. That implies that at least some of Ed's past has not been satisfying for Ed. He's not seeking out yet another casual fling but an intimacy that he has been denied in the past and that he wants. TBH, I largely read Ed as one of those people who does not actually want casual sex but does it because he wants closeness and pleasure and that's his only option. Is that the only way to read him? No, not at all. Just my opinion.

Jack does absolutely read to me as someone who mistreats his partners, and who does not care either about their comfort or their pleasure or, for that matter, their consent.

I've tried several times now to explain what I meant by giving Jack power, which I did not mean to do with the characters in-world but with Jack's power in the narrative. This was originally (I think?) in the context of Jack defining Ed's sexuality for the viewer, and that's where I think we may be granting Jack too much power to define who Ed is. Maybe this is still overly muddled, but I was never trying to say that if Ed and Jack had sex, Jack controls Ed.

All of this is solely my read of the characters and the way the show is constructed. None of this is prescriptive, none of this is "this is the only the way to understand these characters and their relationships and everyone else is wrong and bad." My frustration has been with myself, for kneejerk reactions and not being able to express my opinion on this clearly, and the way in which some statements have been taken out of context and seem to have gotten away from the original conversation, so that I'm feeling more than a little defensive about it. I'm also a bit frustrated at some of the hostility towards a differing interpretation of a scene in a TV show, which has also made me feel defensive. This, however, is a me problem.

A number of the conversations that have grown out of this I've found very valuable and interesting and I respect others' opinions, and despite appearances, all I really want to do is discuss these things with other fans. I really don't mean to be hostile at all.

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #calico jack #stede bonnet #ofmd meta

[horizon-verizon]

Why is it nonsensical to just like characters you like without this stupid fandom tribalism? This fandom is exhausting with everything being about teams.

Depends on why you like the character, anon.

What about them entices or appeals and do you believe those liked traits override their integrity? Or nullify it in lieu of enjoyment? How seriously do you treat the character's faults and what you think is a flaw that condemns them to EVIL. The quality of your admiration for the character. What you ignore or think is innocuous enough to ignore, or if you ignore it to then pretend you don't care about the ideological/moral/political element when you really do and are just trying to sneak in prejudiced ideologies that you would be accused of having or convince others is "not that bad" so it can become the dominant ideology.

One Alicent stan transphopically and misogynistically writes "see the problem with the 'what if rhaenyra had been born a boy' thing in regards to rhaenicent is the unavoidable truth that it would have changed them both so intrinsically that they wouldn't make sense anymore” this POST. And they want to say that Alicent provides Rhaenyra a “helpful” perspective. Kind of like how some U.S. southern resident try to claim that them trying to preserve their racist statues, monuments, etc. is "just" them preserving their Southern/Separatist "heritage" and is “just” about celebration and honor. 

You don't just "like" a character because of nothing at all. You have specific reasons why you "like" a character or their action, why you "like" the Targs or hate them, etc. Even though you never thought about why, they are there, these reasons. It's just that if you become a real fan, there are many reasons and many of them are "deep" and you may not be the person who would happily talk for 30 minutes why you love a character.

And you can understand why and how a person "likes" something or someone when you check out what they think is valuable enough to even be praised in the first place. This is where it matters, relating to the story you are reading, the circumstances surrounding the character and giving them their identity, their role, their very existence. You cannot separate a character from their story.

The Dance is a historical event in the Westerosi timeline where a woman was attacked and usurped because a group of people wanted power and used the sociopolitical value of her gender against her and try to discredit her. In the original story, there are already two factions: the blacks vs the greens (which used to be called the queen's versus the princess' party). They also used violence against undeserving individuals based on discriminatory beliefs (like how children born out of wedlock are inherently "treacherous", therefore they must be treated as lesser...that Alicent's religion, the Faith, pushes). The characters themselves fight and have deep emotional scars from their interactions in the past, and the motivations behind those abuses have to do with what they believe they "deserve". (Talking about the greens here).

The factionalism in the original story makes the story, because the very reason for the factionalism is that one side decided to oppose the other and seize power. To further their own desire for power for power's sake -- they felt entitled to break the law (King's word is law) and custom despite their claims of following custom, tradition and being subjects due to their oldest claimant (Aegon II) being male while Rhaenyra was a woman. Despite the fact that they themselves claim to believe in King's word is law and absolute monarchy, and want that sort of power for themselves and then go around as say Rhaenyra is unfit for it.

That is prejudice and misogyny at work, inherently unjust things, and their entire philosophy is inherently heavy classism and misogyny. They were entirely out for themselves and abused their power against those under their authority. Aegon rapes, Aemond rapes and murders an entire family's male members --children, babies, and adults, roasts whole villages, Daeron burns a whole town, Alicent tries to plot and grow a following against a ten year old and tries to get her to lose her entire reputation based on an act that is not inherently kill-worthy.....

You can definitely "like" characters for how layered their evil is and how strong of a contender they are, but to totally ignore them and then favor them is to be a bigot or a possible bystander of bigotry.

The Dance also sets up the circumstances for one of our principal heroes, Daenerys Stormborn Targaryen who is another beloved or reviled character of this series. It is due to what happens in the Dance and the gradual Targ assimilation into Westerosi patriarchy that the dragons the Targs have are lost.

Since the story has sides, readers will also form their opinions, read the text, understand the context through the lore and world holding, and thus they will also pick a side. And in general, with a situation/story like this, there are going to be strong, opposing opinions and feelings. And those manifest as "teams".

To pretend as if our philosophies or ideas of identity and "who deserves respect in this situation" never has a hand in what we "like" in fiction is to both lie and can be a real way that discriminatory and even fascist ideologies can prosper. Since you're discouraged to think analytically, learn your history, not look deeper into human motivations and their multiplicity, disprove ridiculous theories that seek to create justifications for prejudice and oppression and "might=right", and otherwise question authorities of power and morality.

And then you get people like Sansa, Aemond, and Alicent stans who try to excuse classism or reduce abusive, oppressive acts to mere "flaws".

#fandom commentary #asoiaf asks to me #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fandom #fandoms #fiction vs reality #asoiaf fandom

[leogichidaa]

Dumbledore “created the gun” that killed Sirius, and Bellatrix pulled the trigger. In the same chapter that Harry puts Dumbledore to task about Sirius, Dumbledore confessed that he knew dropping Harry off at the Dursleys was going to put him in “the darkest moments of his life” (not an exact quote but close). I do however, think Dumbledore also admitted that he didn’t think the Dursleys would go as far as they did with Harry. But I can’t remember for sure.

Even in the first book at the very beginning McGonagall is horrified that Dumbledore is dropping Harry off at the Dursleys, commenting they were “the worst sort of muggles.” Dumbledore knew exactly what he was doing, and did it anyway because all he cared about was the blood magic protection Lily unwittingly gave her son. He wanted Harry’s heart to keep beating and didn’t care about the whole package Imo.

Splitting this up into Harry and Sirius. We're mostly on the same page here with the Harry stuff. I'll say again though, while it was clear that the Dursley's were "the worst sort of muggles", not everyone who has a shit personality and is a bigot abuses small children. I would even go so far as to say most people who have shitty personalities and are bigots do not abuse the small children in their care. Did he know he was putting Harry in the hands of people who would not care for him in the way he deserved? Yes, evidently. Did he know they were going to lock him in a cupboard for days without food? Can't think so.

Which still does not excuse him, because he left Harry there even after the abuse was apparent, and he left him there because Harry was a tool. Here's the line you're referencing:

You had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on your aunt and uncle’s doorstep. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years

He continues to explain why he left Harry there and oh, this line is so fucked:

...my priority was to keep you alive

Sounds nice enough when you're reading OotP. He made a tough choice, but he wanted Harry to live, to ensure Lily's sacrifice wasn't in vain, surely? Until you finish the series and understand that when Dumbledore says his priority is to keep Harry alive it is not because he values Harry's life, intrinsically, as a life. It's because he needs Harry alive in order to defeat Voldemort. He goes on:

And I had to make my decision too with regard to the years ahead. Did I believe that Voldemort was gone forever? No. I knew not whether it would be ten, twenty, or fifty years before he returned, but I was sure he would do so, and I was sure too, knowing him as I have done, that he would not rest until he killed you.

He's framing it very cleverly, but he's saying "I needed you alive, no matter how much you suffered, so that when Voldemort came back you could fulfill this prophecy and sacrifice yourself to defeat him." And that is. Dumbledore.

#HP meta #anti-Dumbledore I guess #I'm about to go to bat for Dumbledore in the next half though #✨balance✨

[bandit-heart]

I don't know that I can fully express how badly I want to be comfortable with myself. I want to believe I am worthy all on my own. I want to believe that I will have real love in a healthy relationship. I settle for so much less than I should. I'm talking to someone right now who at first, checked so many boxes. But there are things that make me feel tired. Like, he is inconsistent. He does not put in the effort to make time for me, but will keep pulling me along. I want to be totally find without any sort of romantic interest. I feel so much pressure now in my 30s to settle down, find someone who loves me and start a family, but realistically, in this season of my life, I have to accept that I may not find that person. I want kids, but I'm afraid it's too late for me. I want real love, with someone who pursues me, who will never stop dating me even when we've been married 20+ years. I want the real thing and I'm scared that I've run out of time. I worry that this desire to have what I want is going to ultimately lead me to settling for less than I want. I always settle for less. Or, I won't settle and I'll never find my person. I have to get really comfortable with dating myself, with putting myself first in a healthy way. My health comes first, cultivating supportive friendships comes first, nourishing the relationships I have in my life comes first. I need to get really comfortable with truly being alone because when I rely on someone else to help fill a void in myself, that isn't fair to them. They aren't supposed to be my whole world. And it isn't fair to me because I will allow that person to do things I wouldn't accept otherwise because I'm afraid of them leaving yet another hole in my heart. Another hole in my identity. I realize this is all a lot. I always thought of myself as very independent, but I'm less independent than I thought. I rely too much on attention from others to validate me when I need to learn that I am valid on my own. I have intrinsic value. I am ok. I am doing fine. I must learn to sit with my discomfort and move forward healthier and happier. It's time to return to myself. I will not chase people who do not love me. I will not allow anyone else to ever make me feel inferior. If they are not for me, that is ok. Some people are just here for a season. Rejection hurts, and it doesn't always look like flat-out rejection. Sometimes it looks like someone who isn't putting in the effort you deserve. It takes courage to turn someone down, and not everyone is brave enough to do that and that doesn't make them bad. It just makes them not for you.

[focusdrinkselixir]

Reigniting Your Inner Fire: Overcoming Low Energy and Boosting Motivation

We all experience moments when our energy levels plummet, and motivation seems elusive. It’s during these times that even the simplest tasks can feel like an uphill battle. Low energy and a lack of motivation can have a profound impact on our productivity, well-being, and overall sense of fulfillment. But fear not, for there are ways to break free from this cycle and reignite the fire within.

Understanding the Energy-Motivation Connection: Energy and motivation are intrinsically linked, forming a powerful duo that fuels our drive to achieve our goals. When our energy levels are low, it becomes challenging to find the motivation needed to tackle tasks and pursue our passions. Likewise, when our motivation wanes, our energy reserves deplete, leading to a perpetual cycle of stagnation.

Identifying the Culprits: Several factors contribute to low energy and a lack of motivation, including:

Physical Factors: Poor sleep habits, inadequate nutrition, sedentary lifestyle, and lack of exercise can drain our energy levels and dampen motivation.

Mental and Emotional Factors: Stress, overwhelm, negative thought patterns, self-doubt, and lack of purpose or clarity can all diminish motivation and leave us feeling drained.

Environmental Factors: An uninspiring work environment, constant distractions, and a lack of support or encouragement can sap our energy and dampen our motivation.

Breaking the Cycle: Overcoming low energy and boosting motivation requires a holistic approach that addresses both physical and mental aspects. Here are some strategies to help you break free from the grip of lethargy and reignite your inner fire:

Prioritize Self-Care: Nurture your body and mind by getting enough sleep, adopting a balanced diet, engaging in regular physical activity, and practicing stress-reduction techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises.

Set Meaningful Goals: Establish clear, achievable goals that align with your passions and values. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps to maintain motivation and track your progress.

Cultivate a Positive Mindset: Challenge negative thought patterns and cultivate a positive mindset. Surround yourself with uplifting influences, practice gratitude, and celebrate even the smallest accomplishments to keep your motivation high.

Create an Inspiring Environment: Curate an environment that inspires and energizes you. Declutter your workspace, incorporate elements that bring you joy, and surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage and motivate you.

Seek Inspiration: Engage in activities that spark your creativity and passion. Explore new hobbies, read inspiring books, listen to motivational podcasts, or connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Break Tasks into Manageable Chunks: Overwhelming tasks can drain motivation. Break them down into smaller, achievable steps, and celebrate each milestone to maintain momentum and a sense of accomplishment.

Find Accountability and Support: Seek accountability partners or join communities that share similar goals. Having support and encouragement can boost your energy and motivation, especially during challenging times.

Conclusion: Low energy and a lack of motivation need not define your journey. By implementing these strategies and taking intentional steps towards self-care, goal-setting, and cultivating a positive mindset, you can reignite your inner fire and reclaim your energy and motivation. Remember, the journey towards renewed energy and motivation is a continuous one, and every step you take brings you closer to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life. Embrace the power within you and let it propel you towards the vibrant, motivated life you deserve.

Focus Elixir contains nootropics. Nootropics are proven to improve cognitive and physical abilities, such as memory, learning and concentration, as well as boosting energy and increasing motivation. Great right! That’s why we decided to put it in the bottle.

[10holmes]

imagine comparing marginalized humans to fucking livestock

I don't know where I did any comparing, when you read the reblog carefully and truly you can see how I merely stated that speciecism or a speciecist mindset is the basis for mistreating other humans.

Because speciecism is the belief that you consider one species intrinsically more valuable and overall better and more deserving of life than another. That you think certain species are less valuable and beneath you so you're allowed to exploit and kill them and use them for your own means. When you demean them you also objectify them and then consider them as one homogenous group and don't see the individual beings any longer. We as humans (well some more than others) consider ourselves above and supreme to animals and think that gives us the right to use, exploit and kill them because when they're beneath us why care about them and their individual lives and feelings?

Mindset sound familiar? Yes? Because it is the basis of all discrimination and justification for why some life is promoted as supreme to other lives because of arbitrary characteristics...

And there are countless examples of how speciecism is featured within or influences racist and especially also antisemitic as well as misogynistic contexts... Given you have the eyes and the will to see it and pick up on it...

But well alright for the sake of making a comparison...

Imagine being so speciecist you don't acknowledge animals with the ability to feel emotions and have cognitive thought processes and form social bonds the same way you do, as beings whose life has inherent meaning and value beyond your ability to exploit and kill them because you think you can or because you consider them beneath you and worthless and see them more as mere objects to use and abuse for your own selfish desires and personal means or because you even just hate them because they're different, rather than seeing them as living individual beings...

(Mmmm... Sounds familiar? Alright replace speciecism with racism/antisemitism/misogyny and animals with the marginal group you want to refer to and maybe you are good enough to see the similarities...)

Also, on a side note, the mere fact that someone decided to call living beings lifestock? Stock is something inanimate for fcks sake... It's disgusting the language we use to devalue and objectify living, breathing and feeling animals... And not even all of them just certain ones... distinguishing them further into whose life is more precious and worthy to keep around and love than other animals, exploiting and killing those considered less worthy of life based on arbitrary, culturally influenced rules...

(also here you can potentially see similarities to distinguishing between 'good' and 'bad' people even within a discriminated group according to what traits best suit the oppressor and makes someone more agreeable to them... I'm thinking of immigration discourses e.g. hating against immigrants but when one of them has a job or qualification or something that's seen as prestigious that tends to be taken as a justification to say ok they're (slightly) better than those other immigrants (but they're still immigrants though and are still seen as lesser, just with a more elevated status among their group now)

Or misogyny employs the same thinking as well distinguishing women / afab people and men /amab people into good and bad examples of womanhood and masculinity aka "proper women" and "real men" versus whoever deviates from that...)

It's just utter manipulative mind-fuckery...

Best just to raise future generations and be raised to believe that all life has inherent meaning and that all life is valuable no matter the differences in appearance and gender and the ability to be productive or contribute to a community somehow and that it's immoral and you don't get to exploit or subjugate someone else because you consider them weaker or inferior or different...

#vegan thoughts and musings #the intersections of speciecism racism misogyny queerphobia and antisemitism #as soon as you start believing and justifying and arguing that you're life holds more value than another's #is the moment you should start some self-reflection... #we have the ability to show compassion & empathy and lead a peaceful live on this earth together without any need for exploitation and hate #And yet there are some humans still so incapable of it but in positions of power #so they fck up the whole system with their selfish ego-centric beliefs... #and manipulate innocent otherwise kind people into unquestioningly doing the same #speciecism is learned behaviour and not intrinsic to human nature

[phoenixyfriend]

👀 PLease tell us your thoughts about the Jedi babies re-growing up among different cultural contexts.

Oh fuck okay

Context: original post, chrono The specific post this ask is referencing: here

Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka), are now staying with the True Mandalorians under Jaster Mereel because the Force said to, go back to the Temple after about a decade. They grabbed Shmi about three months after arriving.

So as far as the cultural background goes, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had similar upbringings. She spent a few years on Shili first, but both spent the majority of their childhoods up to age 13/14 being raised in the creche. So that's the basis that they would default to, in a vacuum.

Nobody is raised in a vacuum.

Along with the Jedi cultural background, they're being raised by Tatooine natives in a Mandalorian environment.

Shmi and Anakin are both former slaves who have desert survival baked into their bones. The longer Anakin spends around her, the more his accent slips, the more he talks about old folktales, the more he uses idioms that don't exist on a cityplanet like Coruscant. All the things that he tamped down to be a Jedi come floating back to the surface, and Shmi's never known anything else. Anakin's knowledge of slave customs make her feel more comfortable, which in turn makes him feel better, and so on.

Mandalore is just... the culture they're living in. You don't grow up in a new culture with a new language without picking up on it personally. (Source: I moved to the US when I was a little under two years old.)

I think the thing I'm going to focus on as an example is the way each of these cultures approaches family, and then maybe how they approach the keeping of peace/what peace means.

Jedi: Where you come from means little, only the legacy you leave behind in your students. Mandalore: You protect your clan and your children; adoption is a major cultural value, if not actually practiced consistently. Tatooine: You can lose your family at any time, so you value what you have in all its forms. You don’t forget where and who you came from, to family of blood and family of choice alike. You cling to your memories and what little you still have of them, to what your master cannot take away.

These are all valid ways to approach family, and each of these approaches can have significant meaning to different people. But they do all, to a certain degree, conflict with one another, despite all three being fairly communal cultures.

The Jedi have a culture, one that’s built on a shared ability and religion over thousands of years. It’s not just an organization, but a continuous community with legends and traditions and art and records. But it’s one that is built on new blood coming in from the outside, volunteers who join because the religion speaks to them (near literally, given the nature of Force Sensitivity), given up by families who couldn’t or wouldn’t teach them in a way that let their talents flourish instead of pushing it all down.

For the Jedi, a culture built on people coming together due to something they have in common intrinsically that their families of blood do not, it makes sense to put emphasis on letting go of that past when they can, and to place importance on teaching lineages. It’s not just the official master-padawan pairs, either, but that’s the most obvious and easily paralleled element. Moreover, a lot of the Jedi culture is about gaining knowledge, so obviously spreading it is good, and also on supporting the galaxy to make it a better place; to view the Jedi order as a heavily communal culture would make sense, since their values are all about selfless betterment of the universe, which on a larger scale is about the galactic conflicts, but on a smaller scale is about supporting their own community, the children and the ill and elderly.

So that is the specific culture that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka grew up in, one that holds blood family as relevant but not particularly crucial to one’s identity, but is structured so people leave behind legacies through education in a manner that often becomes adoptive family (depending on your definition, I guess). Jedi are encouraged to connect to their home cultures, if not their families, with practices like the coming of age hunt for Togruta leading to the young Jedi taking a trip out to Shili to engage in that cultural milestone. This can also be viewed as a way for the Jedi to maintain personal connections to the wider universe, a (not entirely successful, but certainly attempted) way of keeping them from becoming too isolated and insular from the universe at large, and losing touch from what the galaxy actually needs of them.

They’re now growing up with two cultures that do place emphasis on blood and found family.

Mandalore, as presented in The Mandalorian, has their traditional values set as being heavily associated with their armor, battle skills, and childcare. While that’s clearly a set of values that aren’t actually followed by everyone with full sincerity, we can assume that these stated cultural values do have at least some impact on the way the society is structured, since we do see more traditional characters (Jaster, Din) adopt orphaned children and then have the Mandalorian elements of their immediate circles support that claim.

(We’ll ignore Jango and the whole clone army thing because the amount of Sith influence is up for debate and also holy trauma, Batman.)

However, we also see that a lot of Mandalorian culture is built on their family histories. On the New Mandalorian side, we see emphasis placed on the fact that Satine is House Kryze and that she’s a duchess. Her bloodline is relevant, though not the most important thing about her. On the Death Watch side, we have Pre and Tor placing emphasis on the fact that they’re Clan Vizsla, descended from Tarre, that this is important to why they deserve what the darksaber represents, this is part of why they not only deserve to lead, but should for the good of Mandalore.

Bo-Katan’s armor is a family heirloom. Boba’s armor was Jango’s, but before being Jango’s, it was Jaster’s. Armor is important enough to pass to family, but the family can be adopted. This all tracks.

The resol’nare specifies loyalty and care for the clan/tribe among the six tenets.

These two elements seem relatively well-balanced: the importance of adoption and the importance of family as a larger unit on the level of a house or clan.

And then you have Tatooine, which also balances blood and adoption, but for entirely different reasons, that being this: it can always be taken from you.

For all that a Mandalorian could historically expect their family to die in battle, and a Jedi could expect to lose their master the same way if things went poorly, those were usually choices. A Mandalorian was raised to walk into battle, and then they could make that choice to do so. It wasn’t often much of a choice, but they could feasibly turn their back and choose to be a farmer or a doctor or something, and support the people who went out to do battle instead of being the one on the field themselves. A Jedi could choose to be a healer or an archivist or join one of the Corps.

A slave does not get that choice. A slave can be killed or sold on a whim from their master. It’s not a one-time trauma, but an ever-present fear. Your parent, your child, your sibling, your spouse, all of them can be separated from you at any time. You can always lose them, and you have no choice but to grin and bear it, or try to run and die before you reach freedom.

In a context like that, I imagine Tatooine places a very heavy emphasis on family, both of blood and of choice, and on treasuring what you have while you have it. A person is always aware that they can lose whoever they have in their life, and so they make the most of their times together, have clear and consistent ways of expressing that love (I imagine primarily direct verbal confirmations and physical contact, practical gifts like water and fruit). Childcare is important, elders are venerated. Those who survived that far have valuable wisdom, and the children are to be given what happiness they can have before reality wipes that ability from them.

The family ‘networks’ among Tatooine slaves are smaller and tighter knit. There’s less trust for outsiders, but once you’re in, you’re in until you are taken away. Still, families are torn apart regularly, and often can’t contact each other after being separated if they’re sold far enough away, so families stay small because they’re always being broken up. Unlike Mandalore’s tribe/clan system, or the Jedi’s wide, loosely-structured community, Tatooine’s slaves form smaller groups that cling for as long as they can, and try to support each other. (There are selfish ones, of course, especially the newbies, but... well. Most try.)

Tatooine is also much more likely to assign a familial role (e.g. referring to an elder as ‘grandmother’). It’s not uncommon in the others (multiple Jedi refer to their masters as a parent or sibling, like Anakin’s “you’re like a father to me” line), but it’s not as baked-in that such a role should be given.

So on a structural level, we have two people from a community culture with little emphasis on blood family or formal familial roles are now being raised in a community that has them asking “what can you do for the people around you first, and then the wider world?” by people who tell them “your family, blood and found, is the most important thing you have; never let anyone take more from you than they possibly can.”

And that shit has an effect.

For all that Sokanth and Ylliben were once raised with a knowledge that their duty, their goal, was to better the galaxy as a whole, they are now being told that the community that raises them asks their loyalty back, because societies are built on support networks, and if you support the tribe, it will support you. There are parallels to that kind of thinking among Jedi, because it is basic social theory, but it’s not presented as the same kind of cultural value. It’s not given as something to strive for, just a basic fact.

This, for instance, means that once they’re back at the Temple, they have a tendency towards suggesting study groups and other ways of supporting people in their immediate circle, often structured in very unfamiliar ways. Again, this isn’t uncommon among Jedi, but it’s not done in the same way, or with the same emphasis. The Jedi also often approach problem-solving in a different order, so the step of “meditate on it and you may find your solution” often comes before “gather information from people who know more about it than you do,” while Ben and Soka have by this point learned to do it the other way around, because that’s what the Mandalorian system taught them: rely on your family first.

Meanwhile, the Tatooine element of their upbringing has them being much more willing to just... casually refer to ‘my dad’ and ‘my sister’ and so on. They use those words. It’s not just “my master is like a father to me,” but “this is my father.” They don’t hesitate to talk about the family they had and still have in Mandalorian space. None of the Jedi begrudge them it, really, but it’s always a shock to hear for the first time, and between the Tatooine refusal to pretend the connection is gone and the Mandalorian tendency to err on the side of roughhousing as affection, they’re just... odd. It’s not like none of the other Jedi know family outside the Order--some of the old books had Obi-Wan visiting his brother on Stewjon once in a while--or like none of the active Jedi are loud or boisterous, but the specific manner in which Soka and Ben interact with the Order, especially when their dad is around, is very weird.

More Soka than Ben, really, but that’s mostly just because Ben’s a very quiet person until he gets a little older, so it’s harder to notice on him.

Point is, while they still hold to their duty to the wider galaxy and will continue to keep that duty above almost anything else in their lives, the way they talk and act about the subject of family, especially in private, is heavily influenced by their new cultures.

This is already very long but I promised I’d talk about peace so let’s go:

The Jedi seek peace as an absence of war and conflict in the portion of the galaxy under their purview, in hopes that they will prevent as much suffering and death as they can.

The Mandalorians are varied, but Jaster Mereel’s group (which is the community the Skywalkers are with) is likely to view peace as unrealistic to achieve in the long term. They do not seek war, but they know the world they live in, and are prepared to protect against violence as their first resort. They always expect an attack, even if they don’t seek it.

The Slaves of Tatooine view peace as the calm in a storm. It is the status quo. Nobody has escaped tonight, for the guards aren’t searching, but neither is anyone dead. The Master you have is in a good enough mood to not sell you, to not kill you, to not beat you. Peace as an absence of suffering is impossible, so you seek for your master to be peaceful, that is to say: not raging at you.

The scope of each of these narrows significantly. From the known galaxy, to the wars that meet Mandalorian space, to the household one serves.

A community like the Jedi can choose to address peace as something to be sought on a large scale as an absence of war. They primarily function within the borders of the Republic, which has its problems but is largely structured to prevent such things from occurring until the Sith interfere. The Jedi have a structure that allows them to address peace as an ideal to be sought, at least within the borders of the territory they serve.

Mandalore, meanwhile, has been at war on and off for... ever. When they are not at war with themselves, they’re at war with someone else. ‘Peace’ is just the time between wars, and they know that if they do not attack first, they will be forced to defend. Jaster Mereel was known as the Reformer, and part of that was that instituting a code of honor, one that was intended to prevent Mandalorian warriors from acting as raiders and brigands, but rather acting as honorable hired soldiers, or taking roles such as the Journeyman Protectors. Given that, I imagine that he views war as something inevitable, but also something that can be mitigated.

War doesn’t touch Tatooine.

Oh, it might raise taxes and import rates. It might prevent visitors who come for the races. It can do a lot of things.

But to a slave, these are nothing. The only thing war does is affect the master, the person who chooses when their slaves get water, when they get beaten, when they are no longer useful enough to keep around or keep alive.

The peace of a slave’s live is dictated by how much abuse they are subjected to by the person who owns them.

What this means for Soka and Ben is... well, they are viewed as war-hungry by the people who don’t know them very well. They have armor. They focus on fighting, both with and without their sabers. They know tactics better than most masters. They claim that war is coming, and don’t seem too sad about it.

(It is a fact to them. War will come. All they can do is meet it. They’ve already done their mourning once.)

They also... well, Shmi tells them things in hidden corners. How to duck their head to hide the hate or fear in their eyes. How to watch for the anger in the tendons of a hand. The laugh of someone who enjoys the pain they’ve caused, not just the adrenaline of a fight. She is free, and so are they, but she has not forgotten how to hide in the shadows until the master’s ire has turned elsewhere. How to be small and quiet and unseen until the danger passes.

A Jedi’s first resort is words. Their second is their saber. But the Jeedai hold their heads high, and the Mandalorians do the same.

“You rely on the Force, and you have your pride,” she tells them, her hands on their own. “But there will come a time when you will not be able to remind people that you are free. You will not be able to say that you are a person, that you deserve the respect of a living sentient. Perhaps it will be a politician who treats everyone like that. Perhaps you will be captured by an enemy. Perhaps you will be undercover. You will not be able to fight, with words or with weapons, and you will have to know how to survive.”

Tatooine does not have peace. Tatooine only has survival.

And while Jedi fight for the survival and peace of the universe, they are refined and composed. Mando’ade fight like warriors of old, and Tatooine slaves fight like cornered, rabid anooba.

The galaxy comes first, but when the chips are down and the Sith come out to play, Soka and Ben do not need refinement, because they know how to toss aside their pride and live.

#Tatooine #Mandalore #Jedi #culture clash #star wars #the clone wars #Anakin Skywalker #Shmi Skywalker #Ahsoka Tano #Obi Wan Kenobi #Jaster Mereel #family #war #Phoenix Posts #Anakin and the Jedi Babies #Phoenix Answers Asks #I have no idea how accurate this is but it's what I'm working with

[class1akids]

What's your take on the fandom drama with people claiming that Hawks is an abuse apologist? Seems quite whack if u ask me.

Here are my preliminary thoughts:

1. Chill the fuck out. 

Here are my additional thoughts:

MILD SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

1. Ideal and reality are most often different. Endeavor was an abuser to his family. Endeavor was a real hero to Hawks who made a difference to his life. These things co-existed. You don’t need to have All Might’s perfection to make a difference in someone’s life. Damaged people can still save (yay, that should be good news for everyone rooting for villains). And everything that plushie represented to Hawks - the hope, the comfort, an ideal to work towards was real and tangible and therefore inherently valuable. 

2. Hawks fits neatly into the Todoroki family with his background, with trying to break away from prisons of first his birth circumstances, then the cage the Hero Commission put him in. Just like Shouto and Touya, he struggles with a lack of self beyond being someone’s tool (Why do you even exist? What a horrible, heart breaking question to ask from a child?) On the road to become a hero, they took every piece of his identity, even his name  - and his empty house shows how he lacks real attachments. 

3. Hawks undercover mission led him to form an unlikely friendship with a person whose main struggle was also his identity - because of his quirk. He first viewed Twice as unlucky, the type of tragic life he was born into. So he tried to “save” him, like little Keigo was saved. But Twice refused it, because despite the confused mind his quirk condemned him to, he had a solid identity that remained the same across his clones: he was driven by the desire to be trusted, to be useful to his friends to his dying breath. The type of attachment Hawks never experienced, it seems. 

4.  By the way, Twice’s friends are murderers and terrorists - who have caused real pain to other people, broken other homes through loss and grief no doubt - but their brokenness doesn’t take away from the pureness of this desire of wanting to help others. It doesn’t matter if they are broken people, their bonds are genuine and intrinsically valuable. They support each other’s ideals and dreams. (Unlike the Hero Commission that first gave Hawks an identity of a hero then took it away from him, forcing him into the role of a spy where he never had a chance to be authentic and to save and viewed his own values as dispensable). 

5. Hawks finds inspiration in watching Twice going all out for his friends. It’s something solid and real. It may remind him of his own original childhood dream of helping others like he was helped. Those real bonds make even a tragic life full of meaning. 

6. So what does Hawks do with all this? Now that he is free to form attachments, because his cage is finally broken? Now that he’s has to fuse his two identities,  Takami Keigo (son of the murderer Thief Takami) and Hawks (the pro-hero)? It’s an opportunity for him to show his true colors... (oh, the sweet, sweet Todoroki family parallels)  

7. So what if it is revealed that the toy he held so close, that seems to be his most real attachment was broken all along? You all are mad that with all this knowledge and experience, he doesn’t say I’m going to trash this broken plushie that helped me through a very rough childhood, that gave me a direction to work towards, because now I’m rich and I can afford to drop 30-bucks to get the real thing? 

8. We still have no idea what Hawks plans to do next. Remember that his plan of saving Twice was to both hold him accountable and to support him in putting his life on a better track.  Recognition that crimes and sins must be paid for, but the goodness in someone deserves a second chance. 

9. There are haunting parallels between Shouto and Hawks throughout the chapter. But the last bit? When Hawks decides to support Endeavor? He was reading a letter from his mother, who let him down and sold him out. AGAIN. And remembers the hopeful look on Shouto’s face when they ran into each other at the internships.  Hawks’ own parents never gave a crap about him, never wanted to change. But he senses that it’s not the same in the Todoroki-family. Because he’s been watching Endeavor, he’s been watching Shouto. So maybe... maybe... as an abused child himself, he can put himself into the shoes of someone else and think that maybe they can have something Hawks himself wished he had. Parents who care enough to try to become better. Maybe he believes that’s something worthy of support. 

10. Hawks is reflective, he sees his own hypocrisy that Twice called him out for. His cage kept him from being authentic. But he wants to use his freedom to return to his origin. To the kid born to villains, who became a hero against all odds. He wants to honor his ideals that told him to meddle, to help, to stay honest even when it’s hard. 

TL; DR: What can I say?  Justice and compassion. Identity. Change. Self-determination. Fixing broken bonds. Ideal vs Reality. Forgiveness vs accountability. This is what the entire Todoroki family plot is about... It’s all heavy stuff that fills up entire books of ethics, philosophy, psychology and religion. There are no black-and-white easy answers. 

Why are you all surprised?

#bnha 299 #bnha meta #takami keigo #hawks #keeping up with the todorokis #bnha leaks #bnha manga spoilers #yes i couldn't help myself #watch me feed the disc horse #are you all mad at hawks because he refuses to hop on your cancel culture train?

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Korea set to break the Samsung dynasty

For a society to be unequal and stable, it needs a *story*. If you have less-than-enough and your neighbour has more-than-enough, it's natural to ask why you shouldn't take it from them.

If that sounds weird to you, that's because you believe the story property is, by and large, legitimate. But what if you *knew* that your neighbor had cheated other people to get their stuff? Maybe then you'd support taking it away?

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2021-04-23/zachary-horwitz-hollywood-film-ponzi-scheme

Market societies are, by nature, unequal. Markets produce winner-take-all wealth distributions of great inequality. The winners in markets have guards and cops and courts to help them defend those winnings, but their primary defense is *legitimacy*.

The primary reason that rich people don't have to worry about having their stuff seized by poor people is the *story* of markets, which is that markets allocate capital to people who can use it to make us all better off.

https://memex.craphound.com/2014/06/24/thomas-pikettys-capital-in-the-21st-century/

That is, at any given moment, in any given situation, some of us have better ideas than the rest of us about what to do with our planet's resources to make the most of them. In this story, markets find these people and give them money to spend for the common good.

That's the significance of wealth in market societies: the vast, inscrutable, self-correcting system of markets has identified you as a "job-creator," a "wealth-creator."

This is better than hereditary aristocracy, where the nation's capital allocations depend on the whims of people whose only qualification is whose orifice they emerged from. Those people squander our resources on palaces while the people starve.

This is obviously circular: if you're rich, you're good at allocating capital; we know that you're good at allocating capital because you're rich.

But there's something seductive about meritocracy, the idea that prosperity relies on something smarter than orifice-emergence.

Markets are sold as superior to the outdated divine right of kings, the eugenic notion that "good blood" and "breeding" determine who is good at capital allocation. Instead, we have a machine (the market) to find the people who have the right stuff for this particular moment.

But there's a problem with all this: the winners in markets are determined to pass their fortunes onto their children, creating intergenerational dynasties.

And because markets always yield investment returns faster than they grow, the most reliable way to get rich is to already *be* rich - not to produce something of value to society yourself.

That means that markets produce aristocracies, entrusting capital allocation to the wealthy, rather than the "deserving" (that is, people doing things that make the world better off).

Here's a concrete example from Thomas Piketty's CAPITAL. It's a comparison of the growth in three fortunes: Bill Gates during his tenure at Microsoft; L'Oreal heirsess Liliane Bettencourt (who has never worked a day), and Gates since her retirement from Microsoft.

Over the period where Microsoft-CEO-Gates founded and built the most successful company in the world and Liliane Bettencourt ate bon-bons and went to fancy parties, Gates made a *lot* of money. Betancourt made more.

But guess who made the most? Investor-Gates: that is to say, when Gates stopped running a successful company (a proxy for "doing a thing that makes other people better off") and started shuffling money around, the market allocated *more* capital to him.

Markets are only incidentally systems for allocating capital to people who do stuff. Mostly they are systems for allocating capital to people who already have capital.

That means that if you let people pass on fortunes to their kids, their kids will amass even-greater fortunes without having to make anyone better off; and *they* will pass that fortune onto *their* kids, who will do the same, and so on. We're back to aristocracy.

If it sounds familiar, you might be thinking of the Trump family. Fred Trump was a Klansman and slumlord who cheated his way to a fortune, who passed it on to his bungling idiot child who made it even larger, despite a string of cheats and bankruptcies.

Now *his* kids are poised to be richer still, despite their obvious detriment to society and unsuitability for making allocation decisions to increase broad prosperity.

Trump has a story to explain why this is OK: "good blood."

Trump frequently talks about his good blood, as do many wealthy people involved in intergenerational wealth transfers. They reveal the intrinsic contradiction of markets' superiority to aristocracy.

When people who make money doing stuff get to pass it all on to their heirs, we quickly arrive at a society where capital allocations depend on which orifice you emerged from, not what you do for the rest of us.

In other words, over time, the winners of markets sideline "meritocracy" in favor of old-fasioned eugenics. This process has been underway, slowly but surely, for decades, so much so that it's surprising to read about any interruption to it.

Take this story: "Samsung’s Lee family to pay more than $10.8 bln inheritance tax." The reason it's newsworthy is that the heirs of Samsung chair Lee Kun-hee stand to lose control of the giant Korean chaebol (family-owned conglomerate).

https://www.reuters.com/business/samsungs-lee-family-pay-more-than-12-trln-won-inheritance-taxes-2021-04-28/

Kun-hee was the eldest son of the founder, Lee Byung-chul, who benefited from a postwar program in which the US assisted (or arm-twisted, depending on who you ask) the new South Korean state to restructure as a semi-planned economy.

The chaebols were formed out of family businesses that had demonstrated some success through Japanese occupation and the civil war, and were given quasi-monopolies over large parts of national production, all but guaranteeing their success.

Ironically, this mixed economy accomplished the notional goal of a market economy - it produced jobs and material prosperity, and allocated capital to the people who made that happen.

But if Lee Byung-chul was the right person at the right time, and if his son Lee Kun-hee learned enough to carry on the family business successfully, that suitability petered out by the time the third generation took over the company.

How unsuitable? Well, Lee Jae-yong, Samsung's largest shareholder, is currently serving a 2.5 year prison stint for his role in a corruption scandal that brought down the presidency of Park Geun-hye.

https://www.bangkokpost.com/business/2052871/samsung-chief-jailed-for-2-5-years-over-corruption-scandal

Given the general impunity of the chaebol aristos, the fact that he's doing *any* time tells you that he's an utterly indefensible sociopath.

It's his generation of Lees that stands to lose control of Samsung when they pay their sensible and proportionate inheritance tax.

As Piketty points out, if this generation *was* qualified to be good capital allocators and not mere winners of the orifice-emergence lotto, they'd have reproduced their vast capital stake ahead of the inheritance tax and be able to retain control.

The fact that they can't beat the market and the taxman is prima facie evidence that whatever made Grampa and Daddy suitable CEOs isn't present in their generation.

That, and the corruption conviction.

The Lees aren't going to be poor. They'll never have to work a day in their lives. What they face is being stripped of their power to make vast, nation-scale capital allocations.

If their kids don't reproduce the remaining family capital ahead of the inheritance tax, they'll be a little poorer, but still rich, and so on, until, finally, a Lee descendant will have to get a job. If you believe in markets, this should fill you with joy.

This is what we've been promised by the market's story: a world where the right to allocate capital arises due to your track record of excellence, not due to which orifice you emerged from.

#pluralistic

[asksythe]

In that FTGOTG AU in the path where Kagome and Hashirama have an affair and they have children( I think you mentioned they might have more than one, which to me is even more scandalous if it was just one, but also shows how much they love each other ), would Mito's and Hashirama's children ever see their half-siblings?

What would they think of them? Are they old or mentally and emotionally mature enough to know that the children are not to blame for existing? Will they think they and their mother wasn't enough for Hashirama, that they somehow disappointed him so much he had a secret family with a Princess of another country?

As for Mito herself, she deserves to be pissed off af at her husband and Kagome, but how would she channel her anger? Like just how bad was her reaction to Hashirama when the truth comes out?

Uhh....

I feel like I might have to maybe? disappoint you with my answers for the simple reason that there is a huge cultural value dissonance between the world of Naruto during the clan war era and our own modern world (which is heavily Western influenced). In this case, the differences mostly revolve around two central points.

a/ In the clan war era (taken as equivalent to Japanese Sengoku Jidai with a spatter of influence from other Asian peer and ancestral cultures) men of a certain level of wealth and influence are expected to have multiple legal wives, mistresses, and flings. Depending on their social stations, there is a hierarchy to the 'legal wives' and their resultant children. This hierarchy has a real ramifications in how they are treated and the rights and responsibilities they have.

b/ In the same era and society, the caste system is an absolute order. In canon, this is mostly hand-waved away because we see the story from the eyes of ninja, so the sheer differences in social stations aren't so obvious. But the hints have always been there. Hashirama is regarded as a leader, an analog to a king almost in his own community, but to the greater world in that era, he would be several steps below Kagome in terms of stations. It is akin to... say... the chief of servants and the head of the household. Yeah. If you find this hard to grasp, keep in mind, in canon Naruto, the only son of the third Hokage serves as a bodyguard to the Daimyo. Not even the bodyguard or chief of bodyguards. Merely one among a group of bodyguards.

Taking the caste system directly from the Sengoku Jidai period, Kagome at the end of the story would be Mikado. Ninja are not listed here but they would be considered peasants in terms of social caste and in truth, albeit they have more leeway in lieu of the authority of their master. So Hashirama would, at most, hold the authority and station of a high-ranking samurai (reflecting his status as head of the ninja of an entire country). Mito is even lower because her social station is derived from the station of her husband, her father, and her male children.

There are no words I can use to completely and thoroughly describe the effects of an absolute social caste system in society and how it permeates culture and cultural values. About the best way to describe it is probably... to people of higher castes, people of lower castes... are not really humans. If they are not royal, nobility, or samurai, then they are like... weeds that grow by the roadside. And if a person happens to trample on weeds... well, that's just the lot of weeds in life.

Another point to consider is that Japan as a country still practiced legal slavery, human trafficking, and sex slavery up until 1945. Up until the early 20th century, it was still legal and fairly common for parents of poor families to sell their children into indentured servitude and contracted sex work.

So understand that our modern values regarding personhood, human rights, equal social stations, and the intrinsic dignity of a person are simply... not here.

With these two rather large differences in mind, I will try to answer your questions as best I can.

1/ Will the children ever meet? Probably.

2/ Going by canon timeline (which is admittedly flimsy because Kishimoto is not good with planning timelines), Hashirama and Mito married early and their marriage has all the trademarks of a politically-driven union. So likely around mid to late teenage time for the both of them. Mito is unlikely to be more than 17 when wed. They would have children also quite early. So by the time the affair between Hashirama and Kagome starts, Mito's children would, at the very least, be teenagers and likely participating in battles

3/ How do Mito's children feel about their half-siblings? Probably that it's a thing and that they are subservient to Kagome's children due to the sheer difference in social stations (even when Kagome's children are technically bastards). By the convention of the time, Hashirama does nothing wrong... as does Kagome. By the same convention of the time, Hashirama is entirely within his right to set Mito aside and go for the much much much higher match of Kagome. That he never does so, in the eyes of those around them, speaks highly of him. To the eyes of our modern readers and to Kagome, that's horrible. But to the time era, that's just the way it is.

4/ Hashirama's children by Mito probably think highly of him. Keep in mind, ninja are taught to abhor sentimentality as a whole and they revere duty and sacrifice. They are also very very very patriarchal and have a distinctly militaristic social order. Hashirama is not only the father, but also the commander in chief and the head of the household and clan. His rule would be very close to absolute, especially considering the fact that by all accounts he is an exemplary leader. Hashirama would have to commit something truly heinous for his children in this culture for his children to start thinking badly of him. Having an affair with a reigning monarch that brings great benefits to his village and people as a whole... is not anywhere near to cutting it. If anything, with the exception of the Uzumaki, that Hashirama maintains an affair with a reigning monarch of a world power would be seen as a good thing. It's that kind of world.

Another point to consider is that love is not expected in marriage at the time, especially a politically driven marriage. Hashirama is only expected to treat Mito fairly on her merit as a wife and with respect as due her station and original clan. He is not expected to have to love her.

5/ As to Mito's reactions... hmm... that's a lot more complex, because this one is entirely personal and emotional. There's no big reveal so to say. No catch them in the act moment. Because Kagome is a reigning monarch, and Mito, whose station amounts to a high-level servant compared to her, has zero chance of ever 'catching' anything. The only way they know is just... open rumors, things that you can deduce from observation. Mito is hardly a dumb woman. It doesn't take too much thinking to connect Kagome's fatherless children to the timing and frequency of Hashirama's presence besides her. On top of that, Narutoverse lego genetics probably give the children very high level of visual similarity to their sire. Mito may not be able to see them herself, but other people can, and rumors will spread regardless.

Even taking into the sheer difference in station, the little we have seen of Mito paints her as both someone who is dutiful and doesn't shy away from personal sacrifices (becoming the first Jinchuriki in the history of the ninja, excepting the Sage of course, cannot be a small thing to consider). Coupled that with the fact that marriages in that time era are simply not our modern marriage, I don't see her blowing up at Hashirama at any point. However, as a leader in her own right, I feel that she would have some measure of her own pride, and even if their marriage has all the hallmarks of a politically driven one, the way they interact with each other speak of fondness and care, so in her heart, she definitely feels slighted by Hashirama. That she can't in anyway express her feelings would likely lead to resentment over time.

Socially speaking by the rules of the era, Mito has no right to complain. The sheer difference instilled by the social caste is way too much. The scandal of the affair is not that it happens at all, but because of the huge difference in station between the parties.

By the time the affair is in full swing, Gems would be the leading world super power, and Kagome's title of the princess of Gem is misleading to her actual political power... which is that of an Empress. The princess title is merely a relic of a time when Gems was an insignificant minor nation state that is vassal to larger states. Kagome never seeks to retitle herself because why would she care for that kind of feudal dick measuring contest? But that doesn't change the fact that post-story, her power as a ruler is vast. So in the eyes of fellow monarchs and nobility, it's less that Kagome is in an affair with a ninja leader, and more that she is an eccentric empress keeping a sex toy who happens to be a top tier ninja. It is that stark. And since Mito's station is derived primarily from her husband, Mito has even less right than the sex toy... in the eyes of royals and nobility. And Mito understands this. To some people, Mito's mere presence can be instituted an insult that Kagome suffers out of sentimentality for her lover (which it actually is not. Kagome is not a dick and her values simply don't align with the values of the time).

But that's on a society level. On a personal level, it would be inhuman to expect Mito to be unaffected. For all that she remains the wife and maintains all rights and powers normally afforded to her in the time era, it does not feel good to suddenly be shoved in the shadow of another woman (who comes after you too) and be unable to do nothing about it nor even say a word.

I imagine Hashirama and Mito's marriage bed would grow cold and be a thing of the distant past because of the combination of Hashirama's sheer feelings for Kagome in this route (which is born out of his mental loneliness due to being a visionary wanting to remold the world. A passion strong enough to overwhelm his logic and ninja training. This is something I have explained in another question) and Mito's resentment as having become the unnecessary one. Hashirama, for all that he is generally alright person, is still beholden to the values of that time era, so while he does feel some measure of guilt (that is born out not from having an affair but from not being able to talk to her about it), it's not really going to be much. Because, keep in mind, this is something he is fully entitled to in their society.

Mito is definitely the unfortunate loser of the situation here, for things she has no way of influencing. And ironically, only Kagome out of everyone else in their world understands her feelings on the matter, because Kagome is in no way beholden to the values of this time. Kagome feels massive level of guilt for her, and this is the sole reason why Kagome tries to be unfailingly nice to Mito and the Uzumaki, affording them many rights and benefits not allowed to other political entities, and yet be unable to meet them in person, and the reason why Kagome willingly remains as the other woman in the triangle despite social convention expecting her to dropkick Mito out of legal marriage and grab Hashirama for herself should she really want to.

Yeah... the rules of that time era are not nice. What can I say?

#Ask Sythe #From the garden of gods #Clan War Era

[nothorses]

What is your opinion on MOGAI genders? Do you think they cause any hindrance in the recognition of trans people by delegitimizing gender as a construct that should be "taken seriously"?

I challenge anyone who thinks that queer activism hinges on being “taken seriously” to question what “taken seriously” means to them.

Taken seriously by who? Why are those people in charge of this in the first place? If there’s no good reason for them to be in charge, then why are they, and why should we appeal to them?

What metric are they using to judge what deserves to be taken seriously- and is that metric equitable, just, and helpful? Or is that metric itself a tool of oppression? Why should we appeal to that metric?

This is what we’re talking about when we say “respectability politics”. Respectability politics appeal to the system. It says the problem here is not that people are being excluded, only that their exclusion is too inflexible.

Sure, it’s wrong to exclude people for who they’re attracted to, or what their gender is; those are intrinsic qualities. But they can change how they dress, and act, and the language they use to describe themselves. They can change their values, their religions, their cultures... and if they do all that, then maybe the system can “take them seriously”.

We don’t need to assimilate. We don’t need to change ourselves, kill our subcultures, erase our most marginalized, and cut up our language until it fits into a box that cis and straight people deem “respectable”.

That isn’t liberation. It won’t earn us the rights, resources, and protections we need. There will never be a point at which we are “respectable” enough for the cis and straight to finally say, oh, I guess we can help you out now. They want us to be “respectable” so that they don’t have to think about us anymore; so that we don’t exist to them. Queer people want to be “respectable” so they can be allowed into cis/straight society as individuals, the rest of the community be damned.

But what about the people who can’t be “respectable”, because the rules were built to exclude them? What about the people who don’t want to be “respectable”, because living honestly is synonymous with living happily? Is happiness a privilege that should be reserved for cis and straight people?

I’m willing to fight for fellow queer people to use the words that make them happy. That’s what queer activism is, to me. I hope that’s why we’re all here.

#queer #gender #transgender #respectability politics #not horses #Anon #Ask

[anachrosims]

All this “job vs hobby” discourse is really telling about how many people in the community view other people and other people’s time.

What it boils down to is: If you're really, truly in it for the job (read: livelihood) OR hobby, and take pride in doing your best, you won't be spending time stirring up drama, because you'll care enough to spend what time you have doing the fucking job/hobby and living your life outside of that. Essentially, it all depends on whether a person is primarily intrinsically or extrinsically motivated, and how they apply those motivations to the people around them.

If you see patrons as “consumers” rather than human beings who are opting to support your work, you are literally assigning a monetary value to that person and that wholly depends on their financial ability and/or willingness to keep shelling out money. It’s far more likely that you will then try to maximize profit by cutting corners, as you continuously tell yourself that a person’s value to you depends on how much money they’ll give you. You become Scroogelike, claiming that anyone who shares your content for free is “stealing” from you, people like that who can’t afford it surely don’t deserve it, because if they did deserve it then that would imply you’re doing something wrong, and you CAN’T be doing something wrong! It’s hard work!! So they MUST be wrong. 

It’s an ugly cycle. It’s pathetic and sad and a symptom of the nightmare we’re all living in.

But the bottom line is that you have no grounds, absolutely NO justification to whine and moan about being held to a standard that you set for yourself when you claimed your CC is a brand/job/business. You wanna be a brand? Don’t get shocked when someone reveals that your “brand” was half-assed conversions that other people made. You want to be an artist? Don’t start doxxing people who dissent or improve and distribute your work.

Frankly, if y’all really were doing this as a job y’all wouldn’t have the fucking time to pitch so many fits or dedicate yourself to stalking/doxxing others. Or at least, if you cared about the work you put out, you wouldn’t be out here wasting time being the equivalent of the shitty Office Karen burdened by their self-inflicted persecution complex. Try real gymnastics instead of mental ones, it’ll help you feel better.

#paywall drama #too much salt is bad for the system

[theassthatquits]

In the Margins Ch 4

You can read the first three chapters here.

Notes: This was a tough one for me to write because I kept wanting to jump back in time and tell the story of what happened, so now I have a bunch of writing about the specifics of their experiences and might turn that into something, lmk if that is interesting to you!

The text from the book is in bold and Barry’s notes are italicized. 

40 years is not a particularly long time for an elf, but it has been a very eventful and long 40 years. Lup doesn’t remember a lot of things and will often go through the journals Lucrecia keeps in the common room to remember specific things. Sometimes it’s like she’s reading a biography about someone else, not her or the people she loves. 

Reading this textbook was kind of like that.

This was from very early on, maybe 5 cycles in? They were still new to the whole regeneration thing and despite spending every waking moment together for half a decade, the crew didn’t fully trust each other yet. They weren’t the family they are now and their personalities clashed a lot. While Lup and Taako were pretty sociable, they didn’t get close with people. Revisiting this year was a reminder of who they were before they found their family. It was uncomfortable to remember those feelings, yet satisfying and heartwarming to know how far they have come and what they have created.

The first thing that Lup noticed about this book was that Barry’s name (his real name) was written in the cover: Sildar Hallwinter. And underneath that, in parentheses, was scrawled in newer ink: (Barry Bluejeans).  She smiled to herself and grazed her fingers over the older print, as if attempting to feel the spirit of the man who once wrote that. Lup and Taako weren’t the only ones who have changed in the last several decades. 

The first chapter was all about the history of the celebrations: The plane was in constant strife, people weren’t happy. Then the 7 deities came down from the Astral Plane and claimed to have the solution to all of their problems. Everyone was desperate for a reprieve and followed everything they said. Each God had their own lesson and thus the seven celebrations were born:

The Day of Sacrifice

The Day of Humility

The Day of Honesty

The Day of Reconciliation

The Day of Love

The Day of Warmth

The Day of Dance

It was easy to tell which notes were made by Sildar and which were made by Barry. (Her Barry she thought subconsciously and then shook the thought away because he isn’t hers, necessarily). 

The older notes were in more faded ink, its age clearly showing. They were also more focused on the academic side of history, adding in details that he had learned from the residents or theorizing about different things. The newer notes were in crisp, dark ink and they told the story of what had actually happened during those different celebrations while they lived there. It seems Barry was recently doing quite the walk down memory lane. 

Flipping to the first celebration, Lup tried to recall any specifics about this year. She remembered having a lot of fun at the different parties and events they went to, there were some weird ones and uncomfortableness, but she remembered mostly positive feelings. This was the year she and Barry started to become actual friends, she’s pretty sure. They fought side by side against the hunger at the end of that year, backs pressed up together shooting off spells as the Starblaster took off. She was stabbed through the abdomen and collapsed in his arms. The last thing she remembers of that year was staring into his eyes as he yelled her name while holding her tight, even though they were about to regenerate on the ship in a matter of minutes.

This was something she wouldn’t find out about Barry until much later in their journey - he felt everything, and he felt it incredibly deeply. 

----

The Day of Sacrifice

Tedes, the God of Humility, had watched over the town very closely for a long time. He had observed how they tended to use their best traits and strengths against one another, instead of using them to come together. After some consideration, he thought his lesson would be to take away what they valued the most. These were not material goods that were so casually ripped away from everyone’s being; Tedes took away the sense of self.

He took traits, abilities, memories that were so intrinsically tied to everyone’s being and simply took it away for the day. 

On the side, Sildar had written what each of them lost:

Davenport - Confidence/Ability to lead

Taako - Taste

Lucretia - Writing ability

Magnus - Strength

Merle - Healing powers

Lup - Fire Magic

Barry - Desire to learn

Oh, yeah. It was starting to come back to her, waking up that morning and everyone realizing that they had lost something. Taako was first, he woke up the ship with his distressed wail about not being able to taste his morning iced coffee. They had just thought he was catching a cold, nothing to be super concerned about. Davenport brought Merle over to try to maybe help but no matter how hard he tried, Merle couldn’t cast any healing magic. Things just spiraled from there until Lup, in her fury to figure out what the fuck was going on, found this book. She remembered being angry at Barry, that he didn’t seem to want to know what was going on and why. The horrible realization that she couldn’t cast anything, couldn’t defend her and Taako. She was afraid it would last forever, having to rely on the other members of the group for their magical abilities. Magnus went through something similar, the man designated to protect them all could barely lift his weapon. 

It had been a tense day, full of snark and attitude. Lucrecia had decided to go back to bed, hoping to sleep through the day. Taako furiously whipped up every potent recipe he could, throwing his spoon across the kitchen every time he tried to taste something and couldn’t. Barry just….actually, she wasn’t sure what Barry did during that day. She didn’t remember seeing him after snapping at him for not helping her. 

A little pang of guilt showed up in her chest, she was pretty nasty to him that day. He didn’t deserve that. Maybe she could make it up to him somehow. 

The first Day of Sacrifice was chaos. Everyone panicked, losing something so important to them without knowing for sure if it would ever return was devastating to so many. Then something remarkable happened - they turned to each other. That night, after arguing and fighting and mass panic, the village gathered in the center of town and simply talked. Those who could still cook brought food and the townspeople, who had been so divided just hours before, told stories of their past. What they lost and what that had meant to them. What they would do if it never returned. 

This is an exercise in trust, Sildar had written. Trust others enough to be vulnerable in front of them, trust that others will help when it is needed, trust that what was lost will be returned. It took a long time for us to figure this out. Talked with Magnus, Lucrecia, Davenport, and Merle. I think we are stronger for it now. I only made the connection after Lup threw this book at me. 

So that’s what he was doing, holding a therapy session with the rest of the crew. A little jealous that she wasn’t involved, but she did take off into the woods soon after throwing said book at Barry. There was another note underneath that one, written by Barry many years later. 

Trust that others will help when it is needed. I will trust her until the end of my days. 

Still prefer trust fall exercises instead of this, though.

She blushed and smiled, heart skipping at the thought of him writing about her. Putting the book, Lup stood up and went to go find him, suddenly eager to be in his presence. 

#blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup #lup taaco #taz balance #taz balance spoilers #the stolen century #in the margins