#respectability politics

[hussyknee]

One thing you have to remember is that online queer discourse doesn't make a damn bit of difference to systemic queerphobia irl or LGBT rights. No amount of playing respectability politics by identifying the "real freaks" will ever lead to sexual emancipation or prevent sexual violence. No amount of trying to identify and cast out "oppressors" and "infiltrators" will ever make homophobes and transphobes respect the sanctity of your sexual identity. Not letting people have words and flags and colours is absolutely nothing except a weapon for online harrassment and clout-chasing wielded by white and Western weirdos who've drunk the colonizer Kool-Aid.

#queer discourse #gatekeeping #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #pansexuality #aphobia #arophobia #transandrophobia #mspec lesbian #online harrassment #respectability politics #purity culture #kinkphobia #western leftists #white queers #anti radfem #lgbtqia #knee of huss

[autolenaphilia]

I’ve seen a lot of explanations for young queer people being so weirdly puritan, as in the no-kink-at-pride discourse, the anti-ship people working themselves into moralistic anger paroxysms over fanfic and the frequent callouts of people over harmless consensual kinks. Like people, including myself, have attributed it to the after-effects of an evangelical Christian upbringing or the related problem of the very sheltered and isolated childhoods many of these people have had. And that’s all probably true to a certain extent.

But honestly, it’s probably boils down to a simple thing: a form of queer respectability politics. All forms of queerness in cishetnormative society are seen as freakish degenerate perversion, but some are seen as worse than others. And openly disavowing other queers with weird kinks is the most common form to buy respect from normie society, and it does have some material benefits for them. It’s common to almost all forms of oppression for there to be a dynamic of asking certain sections of the oppressed to sell out other oppressed people for their own benefit. Divide and conquer. This has gone on for literally decades. The respectable monogamous cis white gay male couple who condemn those other gays who are into leather and bondage and casual sex is almost a cliché at this point.

And let’s be honest, some people in the queer community are more privileged than others and thus able to wield this kind of respectability politics against those more oppressed than them. This is why transfems are so often targeted by TME queers for callouts over harmless kinks. There is little more disgusting to the cishetnormie mind than a transfem being sexual. And so other queers are able to wield transmisogyny to build their own respectability. What all those callouts from TME queers are actually saying, if you would do a They Live glasses style analysis, is:“I’m not a degenerate perverted sex freak, but that transfem over there is, do harm to her, not me.”

Transmisogyny is so strong that the figure of the degenerate transfem can even be used to redeem previously unacceptable figures of queer sexuality. I’ve seen multiple posts that present the aforementioned leather and bondage cis gay male kinksters as wholesome in contrast with whatever evil kink they are ascribing to transfems this week. Nothing is as evil to anti-kink moralists as two trans lesbians who do fauxcest roleplay by calling themselves sisters.

And when queers deprogram themselves from cisheteronormativity, they tend to do it in very self-serving ways. They only unlearn their bigotry and disgust against varieties of queerness that apply to them. So cis gays accept that cis gay male and cis lesbian sex is fine, various TME trans people unlearn their bigotry against tme non-binary people or taking testosterone. The queer things that are part of their identity, that they are inclined to do. But basically no variety of queer listed in this paragraph have any strong incentive to unlearn their bigotry and disgust against transfems, their transmisogyny And why would they? They can use transmisogyny to their own benefit, to raise their status within the queer community and in wider society by throwing transfems to the wolves.

#my writings #transmisogyny #callout culture #purity culture #respectability politics

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

#talkin #tik tok #racism #white people #respectability politics

[palant1r]

"anything that is kinky or inspires lustful thoughts shouldn't be out in public in front of minors!" babygirl that is literally a clause in an anti-drag bill that just passed my state's legislative house, you are a reactionary authoritarian who just can't join the authoritarian club because you're gay

#people that make those arguments aren't 'borrowing the rhetoric of the oppressor' they ARE the oppressor #sorry im just. #journalism can really be a tough job sometimes #kink at pride #respectability politics

[jinglebellrockstars]

wow i wonder how this could have happened when it was so pure and wholesome unlike those sinful dirty yaoi/BLs 🤔 if only someone could have warned us that conservatives will come after all queer stories no matter how wholesome or sexual they are and trying to pretty up queer representation to appeal to homophobes is the exact opposite of what we should be doing but oh well 🤷‍♀️

#izzy.txt #queer representation #homophobia #censorship #heartstopper #gay representation #gay #lgbt #proship #respectability politics

[theconcealedweapon]

The problem with political correctness is not that "everyone's so easily offended". The problem is that people who use the wrong words by mistake are treated more harshly than people who are actively harmful but are careful about how they phrase it.

Something similar most likely happened with "please" and "thank you". The purpose of saying "please" and "thank you" is to acknowledge that someone is doing a favor for you instead of taking it for granted, so it's a good habit to do and to teach others to do. But the problem is when society places too much importance on using the correct words and forgets about the purpose. Someone who forgets to say "thank you", or who mumbles it too quietly, or who says it without making eye contact is considered rude by society. Someone who's overly demanding, threatening, insulting, etc and shows a complete disregard for the effort needed to accomplish the requests but makes sure they say "please" and "thank you" at the right times is considered polite by society.

A white person who uses the word "colored" by mistake because they don't know the word's history is much less racist than a white person who wants the police to have more power but is careful about how they phrase it. An abled person who uses the word "crazy" in a sentence is much less ableist than an abled person who makes fun of people who are weird but makes an exception when they find out that the weirdness is because of a disability.

#political correctness #respectability politics

[queerism1969]

#hiv/aids #aids #aids crisis #aidsday2022 #aids activism #aids history #hiv #queer history #respectability politics #lgbtq history #radical inclusivity #radical acceptance #radical red #radical feminism #radical self love #radical feminists please touch #radical queer #radical history #radical eco thug spared jail after pouring poo on memorial to captain tom moore #rights

[notabled-noodle]

an oppressed group should never have to pander to their oppressors in order to be seen as human beings.

queer people should not have to argue that “we’re just like you!”

disabled people should not have to argue that “you could be one of us one day!”

POC should not have to say “look how much we’ve contributed to your life and your culture!”

all of that shit is irrelevant. we should not have to convince you that we are the same in order for you to take us seriously. we should be able to trust that our lives have value, regardless of what we can contribute to YOUR life

#disability #queer #disabled #ableism #queerphobia #respectability politics

[trashbending]

#this kid’s show said kink at pride #dead end paranormal park #respectability politics

[jonasgoonface]

serve looks not power

#comics #hotboy #respectability politics #eseldorf

[alpaca-clouds]

Respectability Politics suck

Okay, let me talk about respectibility politics and why they suck. The face eating tiger party is gonna eat your face, believe it or not.

And hey, this is a topic that even concerns fanwork and shipping and all of that.

I understand that to many Respectability Politics is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but from what I see a lot of people are not quite sure of the exact meaning.

So, basically Respectability Politics is when a marginalized group tries to police parts of their own culture to be more accepted by the majority culture of whatever country they life in. While not the origin of this, the most classical example of this is queer folks trying to push other queer folks into going into more normative, nuclear families. To further the narrative of "we are not so different from you, love is love!" As such quite a few aspects of queer culture (like cruising, for example, but also ballroom culture and such) were socially frowned upon from those queer folks who were trying to seek acceptance by the majority culture.

Which is exactly also what is happening with those queer folks, who try to exclude trans people. and Those trans people trying to exclude non-binary folks. And trans medicalists, and so on and so forth.

It is also seen within general feminism - where this always has been a big thing. "Sure, I want voting rights, but do you really have to wear trousers?!"

Of course this extends to every other marginalized group. My white ass does not have the right to talk about Black civil rights for the most part, but just think of those people who would go "that is not how you ask for it" when it comes to Black Lives Matter and the like.

Or, for example, in the Disability Rights groups, where some people are trying to exclude some other folks. Or are pushing for a "everybody should want to be healed" narrative.

It really is all around.

We see it within fandom culture, too. The entire "proshipping"/"antishipping" thing expesically nothing but Respectability Politics. Be it respectability politics for fandom culture - or for queer culture, because both things are so closely related.

But the thing is this: No matter how much those people pushing for Respectability Politics do that... they will never be accapted by majority culture. They will be used as pawns for those more right leaning folks on the side of the majority culture to go: "See, even the XY agree with us. It is just XY extremists who see it differently and extremism is bad actually!" But make no mistakes: If those right leaning folks manage to push for laws against any minority group, those laws will be acted out against EVERYONE within that minority group, not just the "deviants".

Because here is the thing: the people who think of queerness as something bad and unnatural, will not leave you alone just because you and your gay husband/wife mime a nuclear family perfectly. They will still hate you, vandalize your house and what not. They might just go for the more "deviant" queers, first.

So, yeah. Fuck Respectability Politics. They do not get you anywhere. And when you need to give up part of yourself and your culture to be accepted, you are not accepted at all.

#politics #respectability politics #black lives matter #protests #anti conservative #lgbtq #disability rights #trans rights are human rights

[arctic-hands]

"We'd respect gays more if you just acted normal about it!"

Lol no the fuck you wouldn't. Besides, don't care, didn't ask, living my best life you've just got to deal with it, stop being a massive bigoted dickhead about things that don't concern you.

#this is about the SCOTUS post #and nominally about the made up wedding site case that made discrimination against queer people legal again #but the dumbasses in my notes can't be bothered to actually read about the case so they think it's about the Cake case and are rambling abt #that #anyway #respectability politics

[anarcho-smarmyism]

"Valentine has also traced the process by which gender and sexuality were unlinked in white European and American queer thought during the second half of the twentieth century, and what it reveals is a process of white, middle-class gay and lesbian people sacrificing trans and gender-nonconforming people in pursuit of perceived respectability. Many of the rights and protections that gay and lesbian people enjoy now were gained through a process of emphasizing that they were 'just like everybody else'. This meant silencing, rejecting or excluding trans people alongside feminine gay men and masculine lesbians -groups who were disproportionately working-class- all of whom were perceived to undermine that aim. The Daughters of Bilitis, an American lesbian activist group founded in 1955, described butch lesbians as 'the worst publicity we can get'; it didn't matter whether those lesbians saw themselves as masculine, or whether they saw themselves as expanding what it meant to be feminine, as long as mainstream society still saw them as gender-nonconforming. It's important, therefore, to be critical of why we see a separation between gender and sexuality now, and how we got to this point."

-Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Kit Heyam

#trans #transgender #lgbt #trans history #gender #before we were trans #education multiplies power #respectability politics #lesbian #butch

[angelictofu]

Been a while since I posted art so here's a Nimona shitpost/Socratic dialogue

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #trans #respectability politics #trust me the movie becomes so much more nuanced if you hc that Ballister is also trans #im not doing proper linework for this sorry

[themadcapmathematician]

The heart of the issue of saying atheists are culturally christian in a way that matters tangibly more than any other belief system (even, sometimes, being actually christian), ignoring atheists that are not from christian dominate cultures or religious backgrounds, and using caricatures of atheism to represent the entire belief system has always been the insistence that atheists are the oppressors somehow, that atheists can't be one of many minority religions and belief systems that you should seek to ally with because they are higher on the oppression tree and they need to shut up and listen to you

It an emotionalization of bad experiences with atheists in the face of obvious facts, like that atheists make up around 7% of the world population, that they don't hold major political or social power in most cultures (subcultures may be a different matter, but it's perhaps worth being accurate about when a subculture is even atheist-dominate in the first place), that they are often treated with hostility and aggression by dominate religions and belief systems, that they can come from many cultures and religious backgrounds and hold many different ethical and political beliefs

"Atheists are our oppressors" and "Atheists are prone to siding with our oppressors" has no tangible basis in reality and is not productive to dismantling oppression against religious minorities, but it's certainly popular, probably because being part of a minority belief system makes you very easy to smear and less likely to be in a position to retaliate

#atheisim #atheists #respectability politics #madcap rants #religion

[noddytheornithopod]

I'm aware of this sudden spike of discourse around The Good Doctor, and while I have never seen the show and I think many Autistic people are right to feel uncomfortable about how it portrays them, the way people are treating it with memes and stuff to criticise it bothers me?

Like I'm seeing even Autistic people instead of engaging in thoughtful critique just share memes and mock the character in it. And like, you can say it's "bad acting" or an "inaccurate portrayal", but I still think there's something uncomfortably ableist in how people are acting?

Like, the way people are acting is like when people act like bullying "weird" people or people who don't have friends is fine, but suddenly you find out they're Autistic and then you find out it's all bad to do that now but only because they have that formal label.

That's what this whole Good Doctor thing reminds me of. Thing is, even if it might not be true to you... I know other Autistic people who watch the show and even relate to the character. It might be problematic or not fully authentic, and you have every right to feel that way, but the thing is, not every Autistic person is the same. Some of us DO respond in ways many of us would write off as stereotypical. Some of us DO act in ways that might make us uncomfortable, and are not what we want to think of ourselves as.

Like, it feels a lot like there's a lot of respectability politics going on, deciding what the "right" way to show us is like, which is ironic given we're trying to fight a lot of stereotypes in the first place, which TGD sounds like it does fall into.

I might even go as far as calling it purity politics, in that we're so concerned with how people see us that anything uncomfortable is making people react poorly and lashing out as a result.

I will reiterate, I have not seen the show. I've heard mixed opinions from the friends I've spoken to, their relationship with it is complex. It doesn't sound like something I'd care for, especially with the neurotypical lens it's created through.

But my ultimate point is... no one of us is the same. We're not a monolith. Even if the show does suck hard, some of us might still relate, and they're not bad people because of it. Deciding who is and isn't a "good" Autistic is gatekeeping bullshit we don't need.

So yeah, you don't have to like The Good Doctor. You can hate it. But the way people are mocking it instead of having serious nuanced, empathetic discussions feels just like one step away from giving Allistics permission to mock us.

You can go "oh it's from us so it's fine!" but people still can internalise bigoted beliefs about themselves. Look at the purity politics in queer communities, for example. To act like your actions have no consequences is pure arrogance.

Also, think of how it looks out of context. I know I just whined about respectability politics but seriously... random person making fun of an Autistic character? Even if you make excuses, it still looks shitty, even if your reasons ARE valid.

I'm not defending this show. I do not have interest in doing so. What I'm concerned is that Autistic people have given in to internet toxicity and the need to appear perfect to the point we're willing to throw anyone who doesn't fit the "good" narrative under the bus.

And lastly, if you see me not uncritically mocking the show in a way that would be identical to a neurotypical bully at work or school and think that makes me your enemy, you're exactly who I'm talking about. Take a breath, step back, shut up, and reflect on yourself. You're really going to give into petty infighting over a show that some people have more complex feelings about than just pure hate when there's groups like "Aspie Supremacists" and the "Autistic Dark Web" out there?

You're not making our lives better by putting people who have diverging opinions about a questionable show on twitter or whatever. If you genuinely want better, more nuanced representation (I do too!), start by not putting each other down in the first place.

#discourse #actually autistic #the good doctor #ableism #internalised ableism #respectability politics