#was the red and black of the old poly flag too harsh for today's nonmonogomists?

[tetress]

So I saw on Twitter the other day this proposed new design for the poly flag:

A bunch of people had opinions about this good and bad, and while I have my own thoughts on the design itself (the lack of symmetry is bothersome but overall it’s... fine), what really struck me is its use of color and just how many Pride flags use pink and blue, particularly as gender symbolism. Like, aside from the heart, this is just the bi flag rearranged- which technically pink is for same sex attraction and blue is for opposite sex, but really I think the average person generally interprets it as attraction to men, women, and purple (other)*. Same with the pan flag except “other” is yellow.  And the trans flag, obv, heavily relies on pink and blue with white as the “everything outside the binary” option. Demiboy is all about blue cause boy and demi girl is mostly pink cause girl. Genderfluid and bigender are both varying arrangements of pink and blue, hinting at the “bothness” of those identities. Even the lipstick lesbian flag is pink and red while the gay men’s flag is blue and green. 

The flags really only break away from the pink/blue hues when talking about things outside of gender or that reject it all together. Asexual, agender, and aromantic all avoid pink and blue while representing identities that define themselves as apathetic to gender. Genderqueer, intersex, and nonbinary are similarly without while existing outside the strict man/woman dichotomy. 

So that begs the question- why is it that we as a community that is so radical when it comes to sex, gender, presentation, and roles are so hung up on what is pretty basic gendered color symbolism? Maybe it’s just what everyone thought would be the most recognizable or was easiest to produce at the time, but we’re living in 2023. People are proposing new pride flags all the time. This whole post started with a new flag trying to replace an old one (that wasn’t pink and blue btw). So what is keeping us beholden to this pink/blue scheme? Why is it that I can watch dozens of TikTok’s saying things like “Gendered marketing is so silly! Pink used to be a boy color!” when we literally all agreed that the flag for gay women needed to be pink and gay men blue?

Am I overthinking this? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s my specialty. But I also think it is an odd thing that deserves thinking about. Particularly as some cis people in this community are turning a blind eye to what our trans and nonbinary siblings are facing politically. Gender is having a moment right now, for better or worse, and I think it’s worth while to examine our own preconceived notions and biases. As we try to break molds and destroy binaries, what old modes of thinking are we holding onto? What is literally baked into how we represent ourselves?

And, please, I am NOT saying that we need to get rid of all the pink/blue flags or that liking one is bad. I myself have a bunch of bi-flag merch and I’m not keen to dump it anytime soon. Great things and huge movements have thrived under these flags and I have no intention of minimizing that. But just like the curtains are more than just blue, our flags are more than just pretty colors. There’s meaning to be found everywhere, and there’s nothing wrong with sitting down to really look that meaning in the face sometimes. 

* I’m ready to be wrong about this, but it’s what tends to be the first impression I’ve heard from people who don’t already know.

#pride #pride month #pride flags #gender #gender symbolism #ramblings #while the old poly flag isn't my favorite i don't think it really needed a redesign #the new poly flag is okay but it just feels like it's trying to be more digestible #was the red and black of the old poly flag too harsh for today's nonmonogomists? #like the flags you like #i literally saw the tweet in question at like 2 am last night and have been thinking about it since #just needed to get this out into the world