#when youre blinded by hatred you cant think objectively | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairycosmos · 5 years

Note

i legit feel so fuckinf stupid for chemistry i got 17/44 even tho i studied i reallt wanna kms bc no matger what i do it nenver seems to be enough adb even my teacher gave ip on me agdkdvskbsavhahahagagaa

hey dude. i’m sorry. it sucks, but you’re not stupid. a single test (especially one conducted by the fucked up school system) doesn’t accurately indicate your level of intelligence at all!! i promise, i promise, i promise. there are numerous ways to be smart, and on top of that, your grades don’t reflect your worth at all. you’re not here on this earth to be some sort of imperfect machine, alright? look, i know it feels bad. and it’s okay for it to feel that way. you set a goal for yourself, you didn’t meet it, your teacher is an asshole - disappointment is a natural response to all of that. allow yourself to process it, but don’t let it blind you. this is the most important distinction. there’s a part of your brain that will always try to use situations like this to make you feel bad about yourself, but that part of your brain simply can’t bet trusted. it’s actively self destructive, and while you can’t control those thoughts, you can control how much you believe them/whether or not you give them any credit. at the end of the day, this is one moment in your life, a drop in the ocean and nothing more. you will have countless opportunities to expand your knowledge, and to feel better about who you are as a person. all of this pain and insecurity is so so temporary, i swear it is. when it comes down to it, messing up is literally the only way to improve. you can look back and see where you went wrong, that’s literally what you’re in school for. you don’t have to succeed every time, in fact expecting that of yourself is pointless. and it’s not because you’re incapable, it’s because understanding takes time. we all process information differently, our minds all function in unique ways, and there’s nothing wrong w that. as you get older, you learn to accept that as a fact of life instead of blaming yourself for things that are beyond your control. you’re not going to view yourself this way for the rest of your life. it’s simply a combination of low self esteem and stress and adolescence.

for now, it’s okay to just process your emotions. as long as you do it in a healthy way, or at least try to, you’ll be just fine. cry if you feel the need to, write about it, rant about it, be pissed off that things worked out the way they did. but don’t let the intensity of if all trick you into thinking it’s going to last forever, or that you’re a lost cause. that’s simply not true. i’m assuming you’re still really young. you are going to look back on this someday and feel nothing but a hint of nostalgia. the fact that you are trying at all IS good enough. that’s all you can ask of yourself, on a realistic level. this one bad incident isn’t going to dictate the rest of your life. it doesn’t have the power to control how you see yourself unless you give it that power. and listen, even if your teacher is pissed off, they’re not going to give up on you entirely. if they do, they’re the one who is at fault, because it’s their fuckin job to teach - if they slack off, it’s their problem, not yours. there’s a bigger picture here, and while your self hatred is trying to force you to believe that this is some irreparable mistake, in reality your life is already moving forwards without you realizing it. if you think you need extra help w your studies, maybe a tutor or just more support from your teacher, then ask for it. but always keep in mind that there is an entire lifetime beyond school and ‘education’ and what it means to be a good student. where you’re at right now is not where you’ll be forever. all you can do in this moment, is look at the circumstances from an objective point of view (once you’ve calmed down enough to do so.) look at what you can actually control about your life, and put all of your energy into that instead.

and i hope you know that if you feel like it’s all getting to be too much, there are many resources available to help you ground yourself in reality. whether you talk to your parents, a hotline, a school counselor or your doctor - it’s very important that you understand that feeling sad and depressed is a very common issue, and there are SO many ways to combat it/to learn how to manage it. it doesn’t have to be this way. please don’t allow ‘that’ part of your mind to ignore the idea. it will try it’s best, but you’re stronger than that. talking to someone, and actually admitting to what’s going on in your head, will make all the difference. there are coping mechanisms, types of therapy, and mental exercises that will change your perspective over time, if you allow them to. it all depends on making the initial step of admitting that you’re down. i get that it’s an embarrassing idea, i get that it’s uncomfortable. but your mental heath is just as important as your physical health, and if you think you need help with it, then there’s honestly no shame in reaching out. i cant stress it enough. you’re not trapped, and you dont have to deal with your problems as if you are. please consider it, consider what you need to do for yourself instead of crucifying yourself over something so small. take the rest of today, take a moment to breathe and to regroup your thoughts. let it be what it is, and look at the future with an open mind. you’re going to be alright, man. it’s just a shitty day, shitty circumstances. tomorrow, you can try again. and that’s enough. i really hope you find some peace of mind about it all soon. please let me know if you need a friend or if you want to discuss it properly, i’ll be here. sending my love.

#anon #please take my words as a suggestion by the way #im not telling u how to live ur life im just offering comfort + my perspective + a logical calm response but it may not always be what u #need to hear and i apologize for that !

7 notes · View notes

wizardsnwookies · 6 years

Text

TOD122017 - B and E

Osborne used the tip of his dagger to dig out a bit of grit from his fingernails. The alleyways of Neverwinter weren’t much different from anywhere else. The area between building was cold, shaded, and cluttered with crumpled up posters, tobacco wrappers, and cast away apple cores or heels of bread. Not exactly the place where people with reputable business to be, which is what made it the perfect place for people with something to hide to congregate.

Unfortunately Leosin’s Harper contact in the area, a half-orc cook by the name of Tulg didnt’ offer much help to them. They came to investigate the nobility of Neverwinter, in response to rumors of funds being secretly funneled to the Dragon Cult. This late in the game, cutting off their cash flow wouldn’t do much more than slow them down...but, every little bit helped.

Tulg wiped his hands clean from washing dishes while he talked to them. According to him things were rather quiet as of late. The Harpers had personally investigated several families for any shady business. In Tulg’s own words “the rich are always scheming,” but as far as they could tell, there was no obvious connection to the cult to be found.

Lotus was dissapointed to find that Lady Neverember seemed to be keeping her nose clean. He would have loved to have something official over her, but would find nothing here. She conducted her business with her brother and first cousin well within the law. Another dead end.

Which is what brought Osborne following theives’ glyphs and clues to the proper places to meet for information. A bit of cant carved in a tavern stool led him here, waiting for sunfall, and the arrival of someone who might be able to give him the insight of those who hide in the shadow.

“That’s a nasty habit, good way to cut yourself too.”

Osborne lifted his head and saw a chubby drow slink into the alleyway looking over his shoulder before leaning against the brick and pulling out a stubby pipe.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Osborne flipped a Platinum piece into the air and the drow just barely manged to shove the pipe in his mouth to catch it. “I need to know about the dirty laundry around here, specifically from the noble houses.”

“No lacking of soiled breeches to be found there. You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“I need to know if anyone’s sending money off to the cult.”

“I’m assuming you’re referring to the dragon kneelers?” The drow exhaled a fragrant cloud of smoke and threw his match into a puddle at his feet. “Most of the houses are afraid of them, think they’re going to come into town and rob them blind. Not exactly incentive to fund their goings on.”

“I suppose not.”

“However, that’s not to say they aren’t doing it willingly.”

Osborne crooked an eyebrow and waited for another cloud to waft his way.

“A lot of houses are using the underground fighting ring to generate funds. What they don’t know, is that a good portion of the profits generate from their betting is being sent off to the cult anyways.”

“Who’s running the ring?”

“Good question...” The Drow let the question trail off in a pregnant pause, casting his eyes upwards in a showy manner. Osborne sighed and slipped him another platinum piece. “The man running the show is the very same one sending little donations off to the cult.”

“Name...now.”

“Ashby.” The Drow spit onto the cobble stones.

---

“Wow...OK.” Skydancer nodded, looking over her shoulder at Avenging Lotus who was in turn keeping a watchful eye on Waldorf as he sat at the counter of the tavern. “I’ll be the one to let him know.”

“I understand this is personal for him, but we need to make sure his head is going to be in the game.” Osborne held up a single finger to the passing waiter to order an ale.

“He’ll be fine.”

“I hope so, with Waldorf and everything the last thing we need is-”

“He’ll. Be. Fine.”

Osborne looked Skydancer in the eyes and heaved a sigh. He had used to trust her implicitly. Recently however he wasn’t so sure. Her rash decisions when it came to facing dragons, and her willingness to let Waldorf’s transgressions slide with little more than a stern talking to had left him wavering. A slender young man bent and offered him a wooden carved mug overflowing with amber liquid and the half-ling tossed a handful of gold at him before shaking his head and walking away.

Skydancer approached slowly, wondering just how she was going to word all this. How do you tell someone that the person responsible for so much of their pain and suffering...so many scars, emotional and physical...is right within arms reach. So close, you could squeeze the life out of them.

She paused on those words for a moment. Was she so sure that this wasn’t something to worry about? Memories of his reaction to Lady Neverember flashed back at her. He acted without thought or consideration of the time and place, yes...but he never made a move to kill her, although she imagined he wanted to.

Osborne took the stool next to Waldorf, clutching the Holy Symbol hidden underneath his tunic, and Skydancer knew she had just been given her opening.

“Lotus, a moment in private?”

The two made their way to a booth in the back corner, surrounded by just enough people that their conversation might be downed out by the mundane and drunken jibberish.

“Osborne’s connections came through.”

“Someone is funneling funds to the cult?”

“Yes, and I’m afraid their using slave fighting to do it.”

Lotus looked like he’d been stricken. She gave him a moment to take it in before continuing. Also, she needed a moment as well. Next came the heavy bit, the details that made the whole situation potentially sticky.

“Lotus...it’s Lord Ashby.”

Avenging Lotus closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He focused on the breath as it passed through his nose, breezing the area above his lip. He followed it down his throat, felt his chest expand as his lungs filled. He noted the brief pause that came between the inhale and the exhale, the transition. His chest fell and he pushed the breath back up his throat, out his nostrils, and felt the breeze once again above his upper lip. He found the moment, focused on it, and let everything else, the pain and anger of the past, the hatred for this man and the suffering he had inflicted, all of it...fell away, leaving only the now.

“What’s the plan?”

---

“I can’t believe that’s the plan.” Osborne let his head hang and let the brush he had pushed aside fall back into place. The Ashby Manor lay just beyond, cut off from the wilderness by a large outer wall guarded by the noble’s own personal guard.

“What’s the problem?” Skydancer forced her eyes to keep from rolling. She had her own reservations, but the half-ling’s pessimism was getting tiresome.

“Waldorf...are we forgetting he’s a...you know?”

“Oh, come now Osborne, are you still on that kick?” Waldorf took particular offense to this considering he had just used his new gifts to scout the entire manor grounds inconspicuously in his bat form.

“You have a cloak of invisibility, Lotus does not, but Waldorf can cast a spell on him.” Skydancer counted on her fingers. “Lotus knows what Ashby looks like, you do not. Waldorf will be under your watch the entire time.

“Finally,” Skydancer knelt down and poked Osborne on the chest. “We don’t have time to waste arguing because you don’t like it. So just deal with it so we can get the job done and maybe get a foothold over the cult that’s trying to end the world?”

“...yeah, ok.” Osborne blinked. This was not the hill to die on.

It was settled, Waldorf would turn back into a bat, hide on either Lotus or Osborne. They would scale the wall, make their way across the manor grounds and to the mansion where they would get inside and find Ashby.

“Well, you’re probably going to want to ride with Lotus.” Osborne turned to Waldorf. “I might be hazardous to your health.” He reached into his tunic and sheepishly pulled out his silver symbol of Ogmah.

“Oh, Osborne.” Waldorf laughed warmly despite the implications behind his companion carrying the symbol. “I’m afraid you’ve read too many of the wrong kind of books. Those don’t do anything against my kind.”

“What??! Well, that’s just great.” Osborne let the now useless object fall on the chain. “What am I supposed to do with this thing now?”

“You could always pray I suppose?”

Making it over the wall and across the courtyard was a simple matter of sitting and waiting. After a few minutes of watching it became clear that the guards had become very set in their ways in their years of service. One minute’s walk to the east. Pause for thirty seconds. Turn. Two minute’s walk to the north where they lost sight behind the peak of the roof. A count to ten. The second guard appeared around the opposing corner for a two minutes’ walk South where the whole thing started all over again.

Within that count of ten, and under the cover of invisibility, Osborne sprinted across the courtyard and slipped the latch on one of the first floor windows. Two counts before the guard appeared he hurled himself inside and slid the window back into place. Nearly three minutes later, he opened the window and Lotus came tumbling in.

“Easy peasy.” Osborne made a show dusting non-existant dust from his palms before drawing the curtains and standing up inside what appeared to be the main hall of the manor. All was silent, it would be hours yet before the sun rose, and any reasonable creature would be fast asleep by now.

“The Slave Quarters-”

“We’ll take care of them, I promise.” Osborne held Lotus by the shoulders. They had seen the small stables just off to the east of the mansion on their way in. According to Lotus, this is where Ashby would keep his ‘stock.’

Lotus nodded and took another deep breath, bringing himself back to the moment. “Ashby first, yes.”

“Right. Now, from experience more often than not the master bedroom is on the first floor.”

“This place is huge Osborne, that doesn’t narrow it down enough.”

“I believe I can be of assistance!” Waldorf flew out of the folds of Lotus’s tunic, almost forgotten by the two. “I will fly the perimeter and check the windows.”

Osborne and Lotus exchanged glances.

“I will come right back, I promise.” Waldorf sighed. “Besides, it’s not like I can enter-” Waldorf lost his words as a sudden peculiarity hit him and gripped him like a troll.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just, strange is all...I don’t think I should have been able to enter this house uninvited.”

All the color drained from Osborne’s face, but before he could object Lotus waved the detail off and sent Waldorf on his way.

“We’ll worry about it later. Go, and check the slave quarters while you are out there. See how many we have to worry about getting past the guards.”

Lotus lifted the window just enough to let the small bat slip into the darkness outside before closing it again behind him.

“ ‘We’ll worry about it later?’ Let’s worry about it now, please.”

“What?”

“You don’t see a big problem here? If he’s not supposed to enter without an invitation, that means that maybe Ashby knows we’re coming.”

“We don’t know that for sure.” Lotus shook his head, peering out the glass in wait for Waldorf’s return. “Besides, how would he know? You got the name from your contact. You. Not us. At worst he’d be expecting one troublesome half-ling.”

Osborne chewed on this for a moment before a faint skittering could be heard against glass and the window pane was lifted once again allowing the small bat to return inside before resuming his proper wizard form.

“He’s upstairs, second floor ball room.”

“Ball room? Are you sure?” Lotus held up a hand, stopping Osborne before he could even get started.

“Quite sure, large open room with a long dining table and a very ostentatious throne if I may say so.”

“A ‘throne?!’ Fantastic...” Osborne threw his hands up. “So he’s up in the middle of the night, sitting on a throne, doing...” he turned to Waldorf expectedly.

“Feasting.”

“FEASTING, and Waldorf can somehow come and go as he pleases. I don’t know about you but this sounds like another vampire to me.”

“I don’t think so Osborne.” Waldorf held his chin in wrinkled fingers. “If he was a vampire, he wouldn’t be able to keep any food down that wasn’t...erm...blood.”

“Did you check on the Slaves?” Lotus asked.

“Yes.” Waldorf’s head drooped.

“What?”

“They’ve appeared to be bound and gagged.”

“Alright, that’s it.” Osborne moved up to the window and peered outside the start watching the guards’ movements again. The plan was that if anything went wrong, Waldorf would signal the others with a Firebolt out the window. “We need the rest of the group in here. Now.”

“Osborne, we can do this. Waldorf, how many guards were up there with him?”

“Does it matter? Something’s up. He knows we’re coming and likely has something nasty planned, and I’m not going in there without BOTH spell-casters, the healer, and ‘Stabby Princess’ with us.”

“We don’t need them Osborne. I’m stronger than I was before.” Waldorf argued. “Let us at least wait and see if something further develops.”

Lotus’s mind slipped from it’s focus and he could see the slaves in the stables, writhing on the floor, ropes biting into their flesh. He we becoming clouded. This was vital information, and Osborne was right. Something was definitely up.

“Alright.” Lotus decided for the three of them. “We go back, report to the others and form a new plan.”

Below the window Osborne gave a curt nod. Relieved that sense was being spoken at last. He waited a few more moments before their opening within the guard’s rounds. When the time came he threw open the window and stood up just in time for the frame to snap back down into place, and the curtains drew themselves shut. From down the stairwell an echoing voice floated like a cold breeze.

“Leaving so soon?”

Osborne looked at the others. “I told you.”

#Dungeons and Dragons #Tyranny of Dragons #role playing games #campaign diary

0 notes

apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup

We is in conformity with our freshman dormitory and hit it off almost immediately.

She was so goddamn beautiful.

She had long blonde hair that collapsed off her shoulders in waves, large-scale, beautiful eyes that accommodated a soft and caring expres and this smile that lit up whichever area we happened to be in together.

As striking as her physical grace was, that wasnt what constructed her special to me.

I was addicted to her personality.

She has this acces with the world.

I cant truly explain it, but shes improbably magnetic.

People like being around her, and I required( involved) her to be mine.

Ill hop-skip the gory items, but we started dating mid-freshman year.

It was fireworks from the start.

Those fireworks popped and sparkled in my president every day for the next two years while I was around her.

She was magical.

Slowly, though, I think we both began to realize the fireworks had been blinding us from the underlying problems of our personalities.

We didnt communicate well, and we brushed bigger editions under the table.

Those big concerns evidenced themselves into insecurities within the relationship, and they turned into inessential contentions “thats been” easily avoidable.

I abruptly realized it had reached the point of no return.

Neither of us was happy.

There was a different gleam in her eyes.

The once soft and relentlessly caring seeings appeared more guarded and cold.

Im sure she saw the same event when she seemed back at me.

I cant speak for her, but I stopped cherishing her.

Long story short, we intent things.

In the months that followed, I fell down to incredibly dark places.

The world seemed a little less beautiful.

I was going through the healing process, and I ended I needed to take the time to look inward and start moving concepts happen for myself.

Here are five theatres of keep moving and making become that I went through.

I hope they can help someone else fight with sorrow TAGEND

1. Mourn.

The firstly nave notion I had after the breakup was I wasnt is expected to be upset.

Some machismo propaganda that had been tossed my road seemed to spread the relevant recommendations through my conscious that I was okay.

I didnt need her, and there was nothing to be sad about.

The world moves on.

Boy, was I wrong.

The more I stifled the fact that I missed her and that I was pathetic about the end of things, the worse it got.

It would come out when I booze and when I was alone, even if I was consciously trying to stop it.

Heartbreak is like ending a drug addiction, and you’re in the retirement stage.

My advice is to let yourself mourn the loss.

Be sad.

Dont let the passions build up to a hazardous point.

Think of curbing spirits like including air to a balloon thats already been inflated.

Eventually, its bound to pop.

Listen to some psychological music and be overdramatic about it.

The more you let your ardours come to the forefront, the more you will learn about yourself.

Oh, and cut off all contact with her.

You may think you can be friends, but you cant.

There is too much emotional baggage.

2. Recline on your support system.

Im going to be blunt here: No one actually demonstrates a f* ck about your heartbreak.

Really, its not a malicious thing.

People will be empathetic and empathize with you, but they dont truly care since they are dont genuinely understand.

They may understand the sorenes from a previous anguish of their own, but every tie-in is so unique in and of itself that the healing battle should be self-directed.

However , now is the time to truly figure out the people you can trust to lean on for this sort of stuff.

First, lean on your family.

They have been there for you as long as youve been alive, and they have a lot of knowledge with passion that they are willing to talk about.

I grew so much closer to my family in my mourning process because I was truly dedicated to fostering such relationships in my life that werent with her.

I found out a lot about my family and a lot about who my true-life acquaintances are.

They are all damn good people, and they had my back each step of the way.

Exercise with your best friend and family.

Go out to eat, get drunk with them and talk to them when you feel like you need to.

They may not truly understand, but theyll listen.

That makes all the difference.

3. Identify problem areas and focus inward.

Were you a greedy motherfucker during your relationship?

Were you insecure and jealous? Did you put yourself before her?

Whatever it is, illustration it out and work on improving it.

This is your time to fix the things about yourself that you arent proud of.

Start improving them.

Before you work on giving your nerve to someone else, focus inward.

The first step to solving a problem is identifying and admitting the fact you have one.

4. Take care of yourself.

Exercise, and sweat the negative sentiments out.

Set a fitness objective( a exalted one) and affected the gym, champ.

The iron and asphalt will be your brand-new lover for the time being.

Bedetermined to not f* ck this relationship up.

It is not simply will help you feel better( trust me ), but youll also have tangible results to depict for the progress of your recovery.

Youll take a look back at your initial exalted point and be appalled at how close you are to achieving it( if you haven’t already ).

5. Have fun.

Just because youre sad, that doesnt aim the whole world has disappeared( although it may seem like it has ).

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned throughout my process is while youre in your chamber love bad for yourself, “the worlds” remains on passing out there.

So mourn, but dont mope.

Explore. Eat good meat. Drink good beer.

Listen to good music. Get to concerts. Take a cook class.

Be a productive and contributing member in the world.

This is the time to reinvent yourself into whoever you want to be.

Make that reinvention awesome.

6. Make go.

Anger seems to be an automatic reaction to a breakup.

I think its natural to be angry at your ex in one way or another, but dont stay angry.

One of the most difficult steps of moving on is looking back at such relationships through a positive lens.

Dont regarded the breakup against her.

Remember the good times, and take the bad times as lessons.

You two undoubtedly had great times together.

They are eternally embedded in your identity, so remember how she taught you to love.

Its going to be tough to see her in the world without you by her side.

Youll certainly see it when she picks herself up and gets back out into the dating world.

Embrace it.

She deserves to be happy as much as you do, and facing her brand-new affair with acrimony will exclusively make it harder for you.

Let someone else love her the mode you couldnt.

Let her run. Give her live her brand-new life without you.

If “youve been” desired her at all, you owe her this. Maybe your courses will span again one day, but dont count on that thought.

For now, she is out of your life.

Dont make it harder on her or yourself by chaining yourself to the believed to be get her back.

She’ll respect you for that, and she’ll income the kindnes when you lastly stop listening to Death Cab For Cutie and start dating again.

There is no reason to flush with hatred when you think of her.

She accompanied some amazing ages into your life, so appreciate them and respect that you two “il be going” your separate ways.

One somewhat cloudy sphere of this process is reading how to not cover her in a perfect light.

Remember the relationship ended for a rationale, and both parties are to blame.

Well, there you have it. These are not all-encompassing.

Butlike I said, every situation is different.

Hopefully, these terms can help person out there.

It will injure, but its a part of life.

You eventually turn into a better being after you expend some time understanding of yourself.

You become more empathetic to peoples inner combats because you know how hard you are fighting your own.

( Oh, and try not to have sex with her. That certainly screws everything up .)

The post 6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2h96knt via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

fairycosmos · 6 years

Note

everyday i feel so fucking gross & ugly and depressed i cant stand people looking at me. i hate going to school, i never ever go out or hang w my friends on the weekends & im scared to get a job bc im so insecure and i keep comparing myself to everyone i meet. i truly feel like im a disappointment and a failure. i feel so pathetic and im scared that the rest of my life is gonna be this way. and im mad at myself for not trying harder but i have for the past 18 years and im tired. im so worthless.

:(( i'm so sorry to hear that my love. feeling that way every single day must be so fuckin exhausting and i'm v v proud of you for getting through it. seriously. it's much more difficult than most people realize. i know i cant say anything that will instantly make everything better, and you don't have to read all of this, but please please try to believe some of it. when you're depressed as hell, your mind sort of turns against you, right? it can't be trusted. all of the things it's telling you are products of your low self esteem and mental health issues - they're not facts, no matter how much it feels like they are. other people aren't seeing you the way you perceive yourself, okay? they're not looking at you and thinking you're ugly or gross, because in reality, in the tangible present beyond your own insecurities, you're not. allow yourself that self awareness. you don't have to believe every thought you have, and you don't have to act on every urge you feel. you can just let them be. they only mean something if you say that you do. you have more control than you realize.it seems like most of this is stemming from how you personally feel, and since you're in emotional turmoil, the results are bound to be chaotic. you FEEL like you're a disappointment, you FEEL like you're worthless, you FEEL unattractive - so you just assume that's who you ARE as a person, who you'll always be. when theres no proof of that at all. theres no reason to believe that youre not a strong, capable person with a lot to offer if you look at yourself as a multidimensional being. being depressed doesnt take your goodness away from you. there's a difference between you and your self hatred, okay? instead of recognizing yourself as a flawed human, giving yourself room to grow, you're pushing yourself further into a corner by calling yourself a failure. i get it, your mind tells you that, so it's v hard not to buy into it. but you don't have to, i promise. you can learn not to. where you're at right now is genuinely not where you'll always be.when i'm dealing with my own shit, the idea that life is a lot longer than i believe really helps me out. we're the same age, and i really feel like we're SUPPOSED to be confused and intimidated by the future. and though the worry feels permanent, it comes and goes. it's possible to manage it as you grow up and learn how to exist one year at a time. its alright to be lost and upset and to not know the answers, you don't need to. who you will be at thirty will be v different to who you are at eighteen - things are guaranteed to change, to improve. there will always be sadness and obstacles of course, but it won't always be this blinding and intense. it's so easy to become disillusioned with life, but having a side open future and existing at all is somewhat of a miracle. it really is.that being said, if you're feeling so awful, i don't blame you at all for not wanting a job or to hang out or to do anything. im exactly the same. but it all starts with you. and if you're not comfortable in your own skin, you're not going to be comfortable anywhere. that's why i really believe that the only thing you need to worry about is making your mental health a priority. i'm not just bullshitting, and i fully appreciate how difficult it is, but sometimes you have to actively jump start periods of positivity and strength. mental illness is just as serious as physical illness, you know? and it's alright to need help/medical attention. most people do at one point or another. please don't just roll your eyes at this, please believe me. talking to a professional will genuinely change the quality of your life if you want it to. it can be a counsellor, a therapist, your regular doctor, a support group in your area etc. even calling a hotline/speaking to your parents/a teacher/a friend to begin with will lighten the weight. it doesn't have to be a big deal. healing starts with being fuckin honest about what's going on in your head. people understand more thsn you think they do. many have been where you ate now. and actually confronting the issue and actively figuring out why you hate yourself and where the depressive moods are coming from, will allow you to overcome them eventually. seeing a professional will also enable you to adopt healthier coping mechanisms into your life for when you feel yourself slipping into a dark place. there are ways to hold on and to keep a grip on reality. you can cut the cycle short and stop the negative thoughts before they have a chance to begin, by conditioning your brain to do so over time.i'm not saying it'll instantly solve everything, or that you won't be nervous. opening up is a weird, stressful thing. you will be vulnerable, because you need to be. but what's more scary - staying silent and letting this get worse and worse, or talking to someone you trust and getting it all out? reaching out is genuinely not as far fetched as you think it is, it's completely realistic. you can pick up the phone, make the appointment, research mental health facilities and resources in your area. you really really can do it. the only thing stopping you is your mind, which as we've established, is not looking out for you right now. and the underlying factor in all of this, the thing it always comes back to, is that you are not worthless. you're not. you were born with an inherent worth, dude. your sadness can't take that away from you. no matter how much you don't want to believe it - the simple fact that you're alive means that you're significant. and it means you deserve to be happy. youre doing so so well by being here to read this. the fact that you sent this ask means you want help on some level, even a subconscious one. so please, just consider it. look at the situation objectively and decide what you need to do to pull yourself back from the brink of this. and then, when you can, do it. one step at a time. i really hope you're okay. i'm sorry i couldn't be of more help, cause i understand where you're coming from. just. you're not alone, and you don't have to deal with it as if you are. please message me if you ever need a friend or if you want to talk properly. i'm always here.

#anon #sorry #this doesnt sound the way i want it to #but im rooting for you so much

3 notes · View notes

apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup

We is in conformity with our freshman dormitory and hit it off almost immediately.

She was so goddamn beautiful.

As striking as her physical grace was, that wasnt what constructed her special to me.

I was addicted to her personality.

She has this acces with the world.

I cant truly explain it, but shes improbably magnetic.

People like being around her, and I required( involved) her to be mine.

Ill hop-skip the gory items, but we started dating mid-freshman year.

It was fireworks from the start.

Those fireworks popped and sparkled in my president every day for the next two years while I was around her.

She was magical.

Slowly, though, I think we both began to realize the fireworks had been blinding us from the underlying problems of our personalities.

We didnt communicate well, and we brushed bigger editions under the table.

Those big concerns evidenced themselves into insecurities within the relationship, and they turned into inessential contentions “thats been” easily avoidable.

I abruptly realized it had reached the point of no return.

Neither of us was happy.

There was a different gleam in her eyes.

The once soft and relentlessly caring seeings appeared more guarded and cold.

Im sure she saw the same event when she seemed back at me.

I cant speak for her, but I stopped cherishing her.

Long story short, we intent things.

In the months that followed, I fell down to incredibly dark places.

The world seemed a little less beautiful.

I was going through the healing process, and I ended I needed to take the time to look inward and start moving concepts happen for myself.

Here are five theatres of keep moving and making become that I went through.

I hope they can help someone else fight with sorrow TAGEND

1. Mourn.

The firstly nave notion I had after the breakup was I wasnt is expected to be upset.

Some machismo propaganda that had been tossed my road seemed to spread the relevant recommendations through my conscious that I was okay.

I didnt need her, and there was nothing to be sad about.

The world moves on.

Boy, was I wrong.

The more I stifled the fact that I missed her and that I was pathetic about the end of things, the worse it got.

It would come out when I booze and when I was alone, even if I was consciously trying to stop it.

Heartbreak is like ending a drug addiction, and you’re in the retirement stage.

My advice is to let yourself mourn the loss.

Be sad.

Dont let the passions build up to a hazardous point.

Think of curbing spirits like including air to a balloon thats already been inflated.

Eventually, its bound to pop.

Listen to some psychological music and be overdramatic about it.

The more you let your ardours come to the forefront, the more you will learn about yourself.

Oh, and cut off all contact with her.

You may think you can be friends, but you cant.

There is too much emotional baggage.

2. Recline on your support system.

Im going to be blunt here: No one actually demonstrates a f* ck about your heartbreak.

Really, its not a malicious thing.

People will be empathetic and empathize with you, but they dont truly care since they are dont genuinely understand.

They may understand the sorenes from a previous anguish of their own, but every tie-in is so unique in and of itself that the healing battle should be self-directed.

However , now is the time to truly figure out the people you can trust to lean on for this sort of stuff.

First, lean on your family.

They have been there for you as long as youve been alive, and they have a lot of knowledge with passion that they are willing to talk about.

I grew so much closer to my family in my mourning process because I was truly dedicated to fostering such relationships in my life that werent with her.

I found out a lot about my family and a lot about who my true-life acquaintances are.

They are all damn good people, and they had my back each step of the way.

Exercise with your best friend and family.

Go out to eat, get drunk with them and talk to them when you feel like you need to.

They may not truly understand, but theyll listen.

That makes all the difference.

3. Identify problem areas and focus inward.

Were you a greedy motherfucker during your relationship?

Were you insecure and jealous? Did you put yourself before her?

Whatever it is, illustration it out and work on improving it.

This is your time to fix the things about yourself that you arent proud of.

Start improving them.

Before you work on giving your nerve to someone else, focus inward.

The first step to solving a problem is identifying and admitting the fact you have one.

4. Take care of yourself.

Exercise, and sweat the negative sentiments out.

Set a fitness objective( a exalted one) and affected the gym, champ.

The iron and asphalt will be your brand-new lover for the time being.

Bedetermined to not f* ck this relationship up.

It is not simply will help you feel better( trust me ), but youll also have tangible results to depict for the progress of your recovery.

Youll take a look back at your initial exalted point and be appalled at how close you are to achieving it( if you haven’t already ).

5. Have fun.

Just because youre sad, that doesnt aim the whole world has disappeared( although it may seem like it has ).

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned throughout my process is while youre in your chamber love bad for yourself, “the worlds” remains on passing out there.

So mourn, but dont mope.

Explore. Eat good meat. Drink good beer.

Listen to good music. Get to concerts. Take a cook class.

Be a productive and contributing member in the world.

This is the time to reinvent yourself into whoever you want to be.

Make that reinvention awesome.

6. Make go.

Anger seems to be an automatic reaction to a breakup.

I think its natural to be angry at your ex in one way or another, but dont stay angry.

One of the most difficult steps of moving on is looking back at such relationships through a positive lens.

Dont regarded the breakup against her.

Remember the good times, and take the bad times as lessons.

You two undoubtedly had great times together.

They are eternally embedded in your identity, so remember how she taught you to love.

Its going to be tough to see her in the world without you by her side.

Youll certainly see it when she picks herself up and gets back out into the dating world.

Embrace it.

She deserves to be happy as much as you do, and facing her brand-new affair with acrimony will exclusively make it harder for you.

Let someone else love her the mode you couldnt.

Let her run. Give her live her brand-new life without you.

If “youve been” desired her at all, you owe her this. Maybe your courses will span again one day, but dont count on that thought.

For now, she is out of your life.

Dont make it harder on her or yourself by chaining yourself to the believed to be get her back.

She’ll respect you for that, and she’ll income the kindnes when you lastly stop listening to Death Cab For Cutie and start dating again.

There is no reason to flush with hatred when you think of her.

She accompanied some amazing ages into your life, so appreciate them and respect that you two “il be going” your separate ways.

One somewhat cloudy sphere of this process is reading how to not cover her in a perfect light.

Remember the relationship ended for a rationale, and both parties are to blame.

Well, there you have it. These are not all-encompassing.

Butlike I said, every situation is different.

Hopefully, these terms can help person out there.

It will injure, but its a part of life.

You eventually turn into a better being after you expend some time understanding of yourself.

You become more empathetic to peoples inner combats because you know how hard you are fighting your own.

( Oh, and try not to have sex with her. That certainly screws everything up .)

The post 6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2h96knt via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes

apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup

We is in conformity with our freshman dormitory and hit it off almost immediately.

She was so goddamn beautiful.

As striking as her physical grace was, that wasnt what constructed her special to me.

I was addicted to her personality.

She has this acces with the world.

I cant truly explain it, but shes improbably magnetic.

People like being around her, and I required( involved) her to be mine.

Ill hop-skip the gory items, but we started dating mid-freshman year.

It was fireworks from the start.

Those fireworks popped and sparkled in my president every day for the next two years while I was around her.

She was magical.

Slowly, though, I think we both began to realize the fireworks had been blinding us from the underlying problems of our personalities.

We didnt communicate well, and we brushed bigger editions under the table.

Those big concerns evidenced themselves into insecurities within the relationship, and they turned into inessential contentions “thats been” easily avoidable.

I abruptly realized it had reached the point of no return.

Neither of us was happy.

There was a different gleam in her eyes.

The once soft and relentlessly caring seeings appeared more guarded and cold.

Im sure she saw the same event when she seemed back at me.

I cant speak for her, but I stopped cherishing her.

Long story short, we intent things.

In the months that followed, I fell down to incredibly dark places.

The world seemed a little less beautiful.

I was going through the healing process, and I ended I needed to take the time to look inward and start moving concepts happen for myself.

Here are five theatres of keep moving and making become that I went through.

I hope they can help someone else fight with sorrow TAGEND

1. Mourn.

The firstly nave notion I had after the breakup was I wasnt is expected to be upset.

Some machismo propaganda that had been tossed my road seemed to spread the relevant recommendations through my conscious that I was okay.

I didnt need her, and there was nothing to be sad about.

The world moves on.

Boy, was I wrong.

The more I stifled the fact that I missed her and that I was pathetic about the end of things, the worse it got.

It would come out when I booze and when I was alone, even if I was consciously trying to stop it.

Heartbreak is like ending a drug addiction, and you’re in the retirement stage.

My advice is to let yourself mourn the loss.

Be sad.

Dont let the passions build up to a hazardous point.

Think of curbing spirits like including air to a balloon thats already been inflated.

Eventually, its bound to pop.

Listen to some psychological music and be overdramatic about it.

The more you let your ardours come to the forefront, the more you will learn about yourself.

Oh, and cut off all contact with her.

You may think you can be friends, but you cant.

There is too much emotional baggage.

2. Recline on your support system.

Im going to be blunt here: No one actually demonstrates a f* ck about your heartbreak.

Really, its not a malicious thing.

People will be empathetic and empathize with you, but they dont truly care since they are dont genuinely understand.

They may understand the sorenes from a previous anguish of their own, but every tie-in is so unique in and of itself that the healing battle should be self-directed.

However , now is the time to truly figure out the people you can trust to lean on for this sort of stuff.

First, lean on your family.

They have been there for you as long as youve been alive, and they have a lot of knowledge with passion that they are willing to talk about.

I grew so much closer to my family in my mourning process because I was truly dedicated to fostering such relationships in my life that werent with her.

I found out a lot about my family and a lot about who my true-life acquaintances are.

They are all damn good people, and they had my back each step of the way.

Exercise with your best friend and family.

Go out to eat, get drunk with them and talk to them when you feel like you need to.

They may not truly understand, but theyll listen.

That makes all the difference.

3. Identify problem areas and focus inward.

Were you a greedy motherfucker during your relationship?

Were you insecure and jealous? Did you put yourself before her?

Whatever it is, illustration it out and work on improving it.

This is your time to fix the things about yourself that you arent proud of.

Start improving them.

Before you work on giving your nerve to someone else, focus inward.

The first step to solving a problem is identifying and admitting the fact you have one.

4. Take care of yourself.

Exercise, and sweat the negative sentiments out.

Set a fitness objective( a exalted one) and affected the gym, champ.

The iron and asphalt will be your brand-new lover for the time being.

Bedetermined to not f* ck this relationship up.

It is not simply will help you feel better( trust me ), but youll also have tangible results to depict for the progress of your recovery.

Youll take a look back at your initial exalted point and be appalled at how close you are to achieving it( if you haven’t already ).

5. Have fun.

Just because youre sad, that doesnt aim the whole world has disappeared( although it may seem like it has ).

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned throughout my process is while youre in your chamber love bad for yourself, “the worlds” remains on passing out there.

So mourn, but dont mope.

Explore. Eat good meat. Drink good beer.

Listen to good music. Get to concerts. Take a cook class.

Be a productive and contributing member in the world.

This is the time to reinvent yourself into whoever you want to be.

Make that reinvention awesome.

6. Make go.

Anger seems to be an automatic reaction to a breakup.

I think its natural to be angry at your ex in one way or another, but dont stay angry.

One of the most difficult steps of moving on is looking back at such relationships through a positive lens.

Dont regarded the breakup against her.

Remember the good times, and take the bad times as lessons.

You two undoubtedly had great times together.

They are eternally embedded in your identity, so remember how she taught you to love.

Its going to be tough to see her in the world without you by her side.

Youll certainly see it when she picks herself up and gets back out into the dating world.

Embrace it.

She deserves to be happy as much as you do, and facing her brand-new affair with acrimony will exclusively make it harder for you.

Let someone else love her the mode you couldnt.

Let her run. Give her live her brand-new life without you.

If “youve been” desired her at all, you owe her this. Maybe your courses will span again one day, but dont count on that thought.

For now, she is out of your life.

Dont make it harder on her or yourself by chaining yourself to the believed to be get her back.

She’ll respect you for that, and she’ll income the kindnes when you lastly stop listening to Death Cab For Cutie and start dating again.

There is no reason to flush with hatred when you think of her.

She accompanied some amazing ages into your life, so appreciate them and respect that you two “il be going” your separate ways.

One somewhat cloudy sphere of this process is reading how to not cover her in a perfect light.

Remember the relationship ended for a rationale, and both parties are to blame.

Well, there you have it. These are not all-encompassing.

Butlike I said, every situation is different.

Hopefully, these terms can help person out there.

It will injure, but its a part of life.

You eventually turn into a better being after you expend some time understanding of yourself.

You become more empathetic to peoples inner combats because you know how hard you are fighting your own.

( Oh, and try not to have sex with her. That certainly screws everything up .)

The post 6 Gradations Every Person Must Take To Successfully Move On From A Breakup appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2h96knt via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

0 notes