I think caspers death is especially hard because like... of course I love all of my pets equally and losing any of them would be incredibly hard like none of them dying would be any better or any worse than another one of them dying but. every once and awhile there's just an animal that you get to have a very special connection with not because they are any better or you love them any more than any other of your pets.. its just that you were blessed to have something very special and rare with them, and that's how it was with casper. now that she's gone it's like there's a big hole in my chest
rats are so unique in the way that it's almost like they're designed to break your heart.... they are so kind and loving and intelligent and they all have their own wonderful and individual personalities and you form such real and close bonds with them like they really do love you so much and make you part of their little families and they take care of you or try their best to in a way I've never encountered with any other animal but the nature of their being is that you are just given such little time with them... in the best of health they only live for about 3 years and even that is rare because they just have So many health problems that have no or very expensive and risky treatments
I've had rats since I was like seven and a few years ago I literally had to take a break from having them because it just hurts my heart too much. they are so so special and such a blessing to have in your life but you are always just given such little time... they just break your heart over and over again because they leave too soon and most of the time you also have to watch them suffer at the end of their life and you're not even able to really do anything about it
I don't know it's just like.. it's always so hard when you can tell your pet is hurting in their final days no matter what but it's especially hard when you have such a special connection with them.... I feel like I could feel caspers hurting deep in my chest
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