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#and that is. a very unique kind of hurt
skitskatdacat63 · 2 months
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I don't know how I'd ever convey this in art but. Thinking very deeply about how in boy king au, a very crucial part of characterization is that Seb is a wolf in sheep(or lamb more specifically)'s clothing and Fernando is a sheep in wolf's clothing.
Seb is very unassuming, very delicate, seemingly very vulnerable and malleable. But, deep down, he can be very ruthless. It's in the the way he hesitantly declares war, with a spark in his eye and a suppressed smirk. In the way he challenges someone to a card game or a horse race, proclaiming that he's not great, but winning every round and prancing around the room and mentioning it ad infinitum. The way he's able to instantly turn the tide in a debate in one fell swoop. By showing all his cards constantly and letting himself be vulnerable, he's making himself invulnerable. No one would ever consider him to be able to make big moves, so he wins every single time, because no one even thinks to expect it from him.
Fernando on the other hand, is constantly committed to having a looming presence and harsh reputation, but deep down, he's soft. He knows what happens to people when they're vulnerable, and he's not going to let himself be taken advantage of. The way he keeps a brave face when being informed of the marriage proposal, but goes back to his room and cries. The way he proclaims that he was always going to be the rightful ruler of Spain, but confides to Flavio that he never thought there was any real chance of it ever happening. The way he takes himself so seriously in public, but inside feels so giddy whenever he can make someone laugh. Everything to him always feels unstable and ready to crumble at any moment, and he's not willing to contribute to that by letting himself relax.
I think thats why it's very difficult for them to get along at first, because they have completely different approaches to how they carry themselves and make their way through life. Seb is confused at Fernando because he feels that he's very bland and overly serious at first, but truthfully he's not really seeing the actual Fernando. And Fernando finds Seb to be naive and easily taken advantage of, but that's because he's never seen Seb at his most cruel. Seb really loves when he eventually gets to see Fernando being vulnerable, and Fernando really admires and respects Seb when he sees him being serious. I think it just takes a while for them to show the other their full and complete selves, even the parts they can sometimes be ashamed of. There's this very compelling dichotomy in Seb laying out all his cards, but still being very difficult to read, and Fernando keeping his cards to his chest, but his intentions often being easily seen through.
#meanwhile everyone else: what is this weird fucked up mating ritual they are participating in#though i think its very interesting how their motivations differ#seb wants to lull people into a false sense of security(and also really just likes to be his complete unadulterated self)#and fernando is guarding himself because he doesn't want to get hurt#and i think seb convinces Fernando that its okay to be openly soft and yourself :) not eveyrone is out to get you#and fernando teaches seb hey maybe dont invite this obvious assassin to your chambers?????#i think seb also has insecurites but Fernando's are just more easy to explain bcs hes in a much more difficult situation#at the end of the day both of them are putting on facades in some way#(i think seb likes to be himself but also does feel really hurt when people dont think he has the capacity or ability to rule effectively)#(he likes to be kind and playful and doesnt want to obscure that part of himself. but hes aware it can hurt his image unfortunately)#also lol the way i characterize fernando is very historically accurate btw#bcs the spanish court tradition was basically to be above it all and be a lofty unobtainable figure if that makes sense#yknow having just this insane level of confidence and infallible image of yourself as the ruler#the guy seb is based on really bought into that idea but i dont think it really suits seb so yeah#seb I think is very much a unique figure that others have a lot of trouble reading him and his intentions. which is great!#AAAAAHHH MAN FELT REALLY GOOD TO WRITE ALL THAT OUT !!!!!!!!!#i love writing their characterization so fucking much you dont understand#its nice to put it in words like this bcs yknow i dont rly enjoy actual writing. but this i enjoy greatly#hope this is compelling to more than just me hahaha#boy king au#catie.rambling.txt#vettonso
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isekai is such a popular genre right now, and its taken a clear shift from 'i got isekai'd and now im a fantasy hero!' to 'i got isekai'd and now i get to live a quiet and happy life in the countryside/as a librarian/pharmacist' and obviously a lot of it is just......someone wrote this to kill time and draw boobies, but Parallel World Pharmacy was so good???? i cried so many times, and i love the shift in tone the genre has gained with stuff like that
#Maybe because i wish for the same thing but only if my dog and two best friends can come too#but that one and grace of the gods is just devastatingly gentle#its not a power fantasy its just im tired and hurt anf i want to thrive instead of survive because our society doesnt make me happy#but someone or soemthing takes mercy and kindness on them#but that one was especially profound with regards to his sister while maintaining the control of 'end this disease with a physical punch'#and we lack that kind of control we want that kind of control over literally anything in this life#also it was so pretty#not unique but still very soft visually speaking and funny but not taking away from the content#and again the characters are kind#dont get me wrong id totally like reincarnated as a slime too but thats mostly for the non gendered shapeshifting#also dragons and i wanna befriend the orcs and wolves#but id probably end up a goblin in that one....#anyway isekai when done well is so healing even when it has almost no plot#i love intense anime but god some of the gentle and beautiful ones are all i ever need#and i crave fantasy so much i adore magic and creatures and demons so much and the softness of some of these plots#but idk that one grabbed me by the throat and slammed me into the bricks#i didnt actually like ascendance of a bookworm all that much i kond of found parts of it annoying and i didnt love the artstyle#but i did absolutely love the fact she was disabled whether they called it disability illness or magic#she was for all intents and purposes disabled in the same way i am and it was heartening to see how much love they had for her#and how good her family was ngl i cried about her father and i wish mine came even a little close to that but thats a DIFFERENT topic#dont ask me about yakuzas guide to babysitting#i dont like the realizations that one gave me#but the more that come out in this genre the better it is and the more representation will drop into it hopefully in all directions#for gender and sexuality as well as disabilities#because this subgenre is so well equipped for disabilities especially because its soft and slow and so full of love#ranking of kings isn't isekai but i think it could open door for fantasy in general too because its a light genre even when its serious#its just ...pure and light and ready to welcome hardships without trauma#the characters are always kind and the setting is new and magic affords accommodations other genres dont#magical mobility aids that dont erase the disability will always be infinitely more interesting to me than heavy machinery that#that you have to strap into but that also means finding other accommodations too like having bojji read lips instead of getting an implant
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silly-jellyghoty · 1 year
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I have a mighty need to hurl myself into a soundproofed facility of any kind and go nuts with making all kinds of weird noises and mortifying shrieks. Not because there's something wrong with me, but because as of lately i've been missing my old school singing lessons where i could just go YYYYYYYYYYYY to my full lungs capacity. Also because i have found a free online course for learning to sing with rock disortions and grit as well as dead metal growl lessong and i just need to go full on DOOOOOOOOOMMMMHHHUUUAAAAA!!!
Send help
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mundanememorize · 3 months
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okay i will rant for like two seconds my once a month rant but i have recently realized fucking psychology or i guess like modern/pop psychology especially is destroyingggg art. so bad.
like as writer/artist for like the past 2-3 years i’ve found myself being like oh i need to be able to perfectly articulate how my stories deal with mental health and then i get in this awful loop bc i’m not writing anymore im dissecting.
and on the audience part too it’s also awful. i love metas and analysis etc etc but it’s all turned into this strange phenomenon of like “proving a theory” and so many of these metas (im just going to use that for the catchall) focus on the same dissection.
just lately when it comes to art and discussion old or new academic or twitter rants i feel like i constantly see people asking “what is wrong with the artist to make them make this” instead of understanding the emotion or subject present in the piece and dissecting that as it relates to you. it has ti be clinical and hard fact and true to the creators intent.
i hate this approach so much and the way i see it effects my writing has made me crazy so i’m glad i’ve realized. i do not like to see abstract concepts put into a box im sure no one else does but being in like online art culture it’s so so so bad for that because no one can discuss anything online it has to be a debate. and then you’re debating art instead of analyzing and sharing experience.
this is all very vague and that’s kind of the point. what i’m talking about applies to anyone from like brain rotted edge lord anime girl artists to characters in mainstream/high production projects. there is no separation of art from artist on the basis of how does it make you feel it seems like it’s everyone’s wondering what’s going on in the artists head and trying to use their art as tools to figure it out. i think that has terrified me in creating and it’s made me feel like i have to make it present in my art in the first place so i have “nothing to hide” but why does an audience need to be in your psyche???
this is not me saying exploring mental health and illness and symptoms of it in art is a bad thing, it is exactly the opposite. it’s when it turns into everyone fighting about how xyz proves their headcanon correct and then no one else is allowed to interpret a character another way when the point of most art from the people i know and/or admire want the exact opposite. every character should be a mirror to a large variety of people and experiences. the same shade of green should excite one person and disgust the next. i am just so tired and appalled and over the like compartmentalization of art to enjoy it as a monolith go fuck yourself!!!!!
and i kind of got off topic with the subject of psychology present in art but looking at art with a psychological lense can be fun but that’s the lens you should already be using in the sense of connecting emotionally to pieces. i’m seeing yourself in the art right in front of you. most people (especially people who don’t create art often) go into art immediately trying to “figure it out” which i understand but how to you make it clear to everyone that they already understand, they just need to listen to what is there in front of them.
to look at art through a clinical lens is the death of art is maybe a more accurate way of talking about it. to look at art and try to dissect it, not for yourself, but to say “i know exactly what the artist was thinking” you’ll never be right. it’s fun to joke about in the basis of relation to the art but then that’s just you relating. that’s your experience and perception. you will never know the artists intent.
this is more specific and a little more silly but i feel like that^ over laps with people freaking out about character and “good/bad” representation. saying gay characters can only act this way. that characters with plurality can only be portrayed like this. that characters with a disability or neurodivergence or this or that can only say this list of things or else you’ve made a “harmful character”. of course there is harmful stereotyping but i would hope everyone able to publish and produce stuff knows what to do and not to do. i know that’s not realistic but i hope majority of writers don’t need a strict do and does list to write all of their stories!
i really mean this more in the way of making a strict view of how exactly to portray a certain character especially when it comes to marginalized identity and psychology then makes a new box that pisses people off. people did not like autistic people being portrayed as emotionless genius robots who parade as people and that’s normal because that is fucked up. but why now does every autistic character need to be almost a joke about being “too weird”. why also does a character need to be confirmed by the creator to be anything. it’s definitely nice but to me if a character portrays your experience without being confirmed anything, why not just enjoy the character in the way you perceive them. i’m also just a really big fan of ambiguity and surrealism in art so that’s how i prefer to take it but i don’t understand why every single aspect of art needs to be labeled for enjoyment. it’s killing it.
i kind of got off track with this but i hope it’s clear how i feel like psychology effects art in the ways of when you confine symptoms to one box and you put people into those boxes and those people love art and make art. then the perception of art will be affected and it’s hurting it badly. it is okay to be uncertain but i think psychology is hurting people and art badly in tandem
#there’s also the issue of black and white thibking and absolutes thta have taken over the modern day#from both political extremism to your internal morality but that’s like. this will turn into an actual ten paper essay#and to be transparent on this. this id a lot of stuff i’ve only recently realized and started to unpack because i’ve stopped being obsessed#with these labels. so i am just kind of speaking from my heart and my perception of what was making me kind of crazy#psychology like is helpful to people and that shouldn’t be taken away from them#but i also just kind of wish it could quietly exist and be helpful.#because like ten years ago it was a fucking like social death sentence to be in therapy#and now it’s all you can hear or see be misconstrued on the internet but it’s hurting people more because they get out in a box#<again two very extremist points. we can never seem to find a middle ground#and it’s not bad for people to know terms or symtpms of what they have or think they have because then they can find tools to help#but the way people dissect individuals and lump them together in ‘avoidant type’ style boxes#when people have an array of experience and trauma and hardship under their belt that’s so unique to them it’s so harmful to lump them#in with so many others with that same individual experience. why do we have to mush people together to understand people#why can’t we just meet a person and let them tell us how they are and feel and came to be#sorry this is like my one million thoughts from the past couple months so i’m like. literal essay it has to stop now because i want a#peach red bull
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drchucktingle · 4 months
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THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT
hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.
while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.
i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously
lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 
unfortunately i will also have to decline.
the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.
sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.
this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.
but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.
regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?
without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.
to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?
so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’
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elysiansparadise · 3 months
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Aspects of Chiron
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⚷ Chiron is a comet-asteroid that helps us spot some of our wounds. You can get to know yours on Astro.com in the section “additional objects”. If you want to take a closer look to yours click here -> ⚷
⬜Chiron conjunct Sun: These people have wounds related to acceptance, either from themselves or from others. They may seek to help others in a selfless way, but they do not dare to ask for help or appear very vulnerable. Issues with the father or father figure. They may have confidence problems. They have a lot of charisma and people see them as very kind and polite people. It is likely that both the father and them have had a complicated life.
⬜Chiron conjunct Moon: They immediately make others feel good emotionally, they know what others need to feel good easily. They are very empathetic, caring and attentive people with those they love. They may have differences or issues with the mother. The mother and them could have had a complicated life. They may have trouble setting boundaries. Melancholic tendencies and remembering a lot about what once hurt them in the past.
⬜Chiron conjunct Mercury: These people have the ability to listen and understand well what other people want to express. They are excellent listeners and great advisors. They have a lot of wisdom. The wound lies in not feeling heard or understood by the people around them. They know what it's like to not feel heard, so they always show respect to others by being attentive. May have a tendency to hesitate about their own knowledge.
⬜Chiron conjunct Venus: These natives usually look for emotionally deep relationships in which they can open up to their partner and have them do the same. They may have wounds related to their beauty, feminine side or love life. Their partners can improve a lot thanks to the native and vice versa. They can see beauty in things that others don't. Usually shows an enchanting beauty rather tender and adorable. Great charm.
⬜Chiron conjunct Mars: These people may have had trouble standing up for themselves when they were young, but they never hesitate to stand up for others. Wounds with male figures, sex, or by the anger of others or their own anger. Setting boundaries could have been harsh for them.  They long to be people who guide others through justice, understanding and motivation. Over time they develop a strong temperament.
⬜Chiron conjunct Jupiter: These people have a lot of wisdom in themselves and can be developed souls. They learn from their mistakes and provide support, advice and healing to others. They could have gone through very tense things, which is why they mature before their time. They may doubt your skills and knowledge. Wounds by teachers. They can teach others to see the good side of themselves and look for ways to heal.
⬜Chiron conjunct Saturn: Feeling of not having been supported or of not having had the necessary guidance. They matured before their time and that led them to acquire a lot of wisdom. They will actively work to heal themselves and may become frustrated if they feel that they are not yet there. Their lesson is to learn that healing takes time and that they will eventually achieve it. Wounds related to not feeling enough or underestimating your successes.
⬜Chiron conjunct Uranus: Wounded by having felt different from the rest and/or judged for their uniqueness. These people may seek to help their friends alleviate their emotional problems. They have an eccentric charm and authenticity that attracts attention, becoming inspiring to others. They learned to solve their problems on their own and may have difficulty relying on anyone. Fear of becoming dependent on something or someone.
⬜Chiron conjunct Neptune: True healers, they can give themselves deeply to the work of helping others heal. Great counselors, they instinctively say and do the right thing to support others. Betrayals, deceptions and lies could have hurt them. Great artistic talents, great ability to dazzle many. Sweet, empathetic and very kind to their peers. Music, art and spirituality can be healing for them. Tendency to dissociate to avoid thinking about their problems.
⬜Chiron conjunct Pluto: Betrayals, death and abandonment could have deeply hurt the native. Problems trusting other people but incredibly reliable for those who they love the most. Loyal people who would like someone who would be as loyal as they are. Difficult childhoods in which they did not feel respected or loved. Ability to transform your wounds into your strengths and make them something truly beautiful. Interest in psychology and self-improvement.
⬜Chiron conjunct Rising: They can be very magnetic people to others and will evoke a sense of peace and comfort in others. They will actively seek to help other people feel good about themselves. They may have self-acceptance problems either because of their personality or their physical appearance. People can easily trust them and see in them someone very wise who has been through a lot. Very assertive and constantly wanting to improve.
⬜Chiron conjunct Midheaven: They most likely work on something related to supporting, healing and encouraging other people. From young people they think that the best thing would be to find a path in which they do more good for others. Tendency to set too many expectations for themselves and become frustrated and harsh when not meeting them. People feel naturally drawn to them and feel that they can be understood by them.
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⬜Chiron trine Sun: They are people with a very intelligent and perceptive personality of the people around them, as well as themselves. They can have the gift of healing and be people with a nature that appeals to people because they are not judgmental or criticize or speak badly of others. People not only find them charming, but also kind and admirable. Ease of raising the self-esteem of others and helping them love themselves more.
⬜Chiron trine Moon: You give great emotional comfort to others and seem to understand them better than anyone. People deeply appreciate your support and the willingness you show to get to know them well. Your hugs are the most comforting and you can make others feel through small gestures. Mystical, charming and very empathetic. They love to make others feel safe and protected. You are very sensitive to the emotions of others.
⬜Chiron trine Mercury: Natives with a strong and highly developed intuition, a great ability to analyze the people around them. Your words can be of great help to another and bring them a lot of relief. They are very rational people capable of seeing many sides of the same situation. They may enjoy meditating or other methods to calm the mind. They can work well under pressure and help calm others with just words.
⬜Chiron trine Venus: Ability to help their partners find healing and will seek to accompany them during the process. Love can be healing for them and they have a deep liking to help those who need it most. Can transform their pain into beautiful things through art and/or hobbies they have. Of great tact and assertiveness. They like relationships in which there is mutual protection and where they seek to understand the other deeply.
⬜Chiron trine Mars: We encounter great leaders who, through motivation and meaningful actions [whether big or small] encourage others to help themselves. They have the goal of healing themselves to improve as people and let go of everything that stagnates them and does not help them. Assertive and blunt when it comes to establishing limits. They have a strong sense of self and do not allow themselves or others to be trampled on by anyone.
⬜Chiron trine Jupiter: They have the ability to teach and inspire others, and help them in the process of finding meaning in their own lives, as well as showing them that they can recover from the tragedies they experience. They can bring out the good side in people and encourage them to improve. Charitable, humanitarian and kind. They do not minimize the suffering or difficulties of others. They validate and support people who need it.
⬜Chiron trine Saturn: They do not let their wounds define them and have a great ability to overcome and heal from what once hurt them. Great maturity and resilience. Another indicator of leadership skills, these people teach others to find their power after they have found theirs. They seek to be the support of others and the support figure that they would have liked to have. They respect limits and beliefs even if they do not share them.
⬜Chiron trine Uranus: These people have the ability to move, let go and get rid of everything that does not contribute to their life or that does not make them happy. Altruistic but with their feet on the ground, they help those who allow themselves to be helped. They inspire others to be themselves without fear of what others say/think and can easily heal the wounds of the public, peers or those who feel they do not fit in.
⬜Chiron trine Neptune: They are people with a very strong imagination and great talents for creating beautiful things. Compassionate, understanding and generous with others. They may have a unique way of wowing others without trying very hard. They support and help others selflessly and can go out of their way to help those who need it. Altruistic and they have an old soul vibe. Very spiritual people who want to help others in their journey in this life.
⬜Chiron trine Pluto: They have a natural ability to get to the bottom of others' wounds, great capacities to help others find their inner power. They are people who have gone through many changes and who see in their wounds something that has made them strong enough to face what life presents them. There is something very appealing about them. Their strength may be something that others find dazzling and inspiring in many ways.
⬜Chiron trine Rising: They are very cordial and fascinating people in the eyes of others. A mixture of friendliness, intelligence and talent. They immerse themselves in a path of healing from a young age and kindly support their loved ones in the process. Ambivert, calm and patient. Many of them want to contribute positively to the lives of people significant to them, showing support and lending their ear and presence. 
⬜Chiron trine Midheaven: They are people perceived as friendly, caring and reliable, many people go to them and open up easily. It is common for many to lean towards a profession in which they provide support and care to other people. They see empathy and altruism as crucial values ​​for creating a better society. Many professional and academic successes await you. Noble heart and actions to contribute to society.
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⬜Chiron sextile Sun: Here we find very understanding and empathetic people who are willing to lend a hand to help those who need it most. They are sensitive and altruistic people. It is very likely that they have a very healthy level of self-esteem.They use their experiences and knowledge gained after personal situations to help others find solutions to their problems. 
⬜Chiron sextile Moon: Gentle and loving on the inside regardless of their exterior. They love to show love to those they love and know how to do it well. They adapt to people's love language and unconsciously make them feel comfortable. They are consistent, understanding and very giving when it comes to their bonds.
⬜Chiron sextile Mercury: A calm way of speaking, they know how to get to the core of others. Their words leave a positive mark on others. Constant search for knowledge, especially on spiritual or social issues. Deep understanding of people. They listen and fervently try to make everyone feel like they fit and are part of the group.
⬜Chiron sextile Venus: They like people in contact with their most intense and deep emotions. Love in the most wholesome way possible. A liking for comforting relationships with a strong emotional bond. They help others accept their body and beauty. They can be very good at resolving any conflicts or helping others see the good side of things.
⬜Chiron sextile Mars: They tend to be assertive when communicating what they don't like. They are brave, compassionate and charming. They actively look for ways to help themselves and others. These natives always try to give that feeling of security and protection to those they love and are not afraid to defend those they love from anything.
⬜Chiron sextile Jupiter: They help others see their positive traits and aspects. They are people who have become intelligent and wise because of what they have been through. Search for wisdom, both internal and external, and willingness to be wisdom for others. The trips they take can be healing for them. Kind heart and an appropriate level of empathy. Resilient.
⬜Chiron sextile Saturn: People who are strong in mind and heart, get ahead no matter what. They can provide positive lessons and a lot of support to those they love. They remain kind and compassionate no matter the hardships of life. Independent and highly devoted. Observant and attentive when it comes to others, they respect their own boundaries and those of others.
⬜Chiron sextile Uranus: They have come a long way to find self-acceptance and appreciation for all sides of themselves. Your actions and personality can be inspirational to others. Great sense of friendship, they are altruistic and very considerate of their friends. They feel proud of what makes them different from the rest and share/inspire this feeling with others.
⬜Chiron sextile Neptune: They are amazing at providing emotional support, perhaps sometimes more than practical. People feel good about your presence and readily accept your help. They intuitively know things that can affect or heal other people. They can use spirituality to heal and understand others deeply and to understand themselves better.
⬜Chiron sextile Pluto: They can transform themselves at a deep mental & emotional level, a sensation of reborn after a crisis, whatever it may be. These natives have a great intuition to know about the emotions and wounds of the other. Deep capacity for emotional, psychological and mental connection with many people, regardless of age, gender or background.
⬜Chiron sextile Rising: From a young age they are inclined to help, support and be there for other people. Interest in self-knowledge, psychology and self-improvement. They like to and usually come across as a strong person with whom you can vent, someone kind who understands your wounds. They always treat others as they would like to be treated. 
⬜Chiron sextile Midheaven: Easily gain the appreciation and trust of the people, because they seem approachable, kind and polite. Their work is related to healing issues or other forms of support for sectors of society. Others often see in them a good leader, someone who actively strives to improve the emotional state of the people.
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⬜Chiron opposite Sun: The differences with their fathers could have brought about many issues between them. They may put on a very confident and independent appearance out of fear of being seen for who they are and being judged or criticized for it. He can be a good leader. Issues with your ego, either being too big or too little.
⬜Chiron opposite Moon: People feel safe with them, but they don't usually have that feeling. Issues expressing their feelings and/or communicating their emotional needs. They want to be there for those they love because they know what it feels like to not feel that support. Whether they want to be parents or not, they always show respect and kindness to children.
⬜Chiron opposite Mercury: Sometimes your own mind can hurt you, negative self-talk and view of yourself. They are people with great intelligence and great communication skills. They can have perfectionist tendencies and be very demanding of themselves. Excellent listeners, they can find quick solutions to problems of others but not of themselves.
⬜Chiron opposite Venus: They tend to be people who doubt the love they can receive. Some have the wound of thinking that they will not be loved. Very selective with their partners for fear of getting hurt. Many may ask for their advice on matters of love, regardless of the native's degree of experience. Their love can be very healing and pure.
⬜Chiron opposite Mars: They tend to put barriers between themselves and others, be somewhat defensive, and feel like they have to be alert. Tendency to anxiety and/or nervousness. They allow others to rely on them and do not hesitate to stand up for them. Very well established boundaries and do not allow anyone to be disrespectful to them.
⬜Chiron opposite Jupiter: They may be people who bring positivity to the lives of others but have issues with them staying positive. The hope that good things can happen to them is usually wounded. They are very spiritual people who seek knowledge regarding matters of this type. They seek a deep meaning in all things. Try to stay strong no matter what, 
⬜Chiron opposite Saturn: Tendency to expect the worst to happen. Skeptical and difficult to convince. They do not trust others easily. They could’ve felt that there was no one to rely on and they may have matured due to the absence of a stable and constant figure. Dislike being seen as vulnerable. Independent, logical and seen as strong by others.
⬜Chiron opposite Uranus: Feeling of always being different from the rest. They don’t feel accepted by others. Wounds related to loneliness or some abrupt change in their lives. They accept everyone regardless of their differences and hate making others feel like they are not included. May not want to be seen as weird, but embracing their identity fully will bring healing to them.
⬜Chiron opposite Neptune: Healing abilities that you may not be aware of. They can be very empathic and there is a risk of putting other people's problems on their shoulders. They have a noble and loving heart that they are afraid to show for fear of being deceived or hurt. Looking for physical ways to express their feelings can be very healing for them.
⬜Chiron opposite Pluto: Wounds related to trusting others, betrayals or little support in the past. They may have problems forgiving and/or forgetting. Constant feeling of not being safe, need to be alert and avoid betrayal at all costs. You may have a tendency to isolate yourself. These people definitely change the lives of those around them on a great level.
⬜Chiron opposite Rising: They may have many wounds regarding themselves, their value and abilities. They have a hard time trusting themselves and hate projecting that. Tend to overthink a lot before daring to do something. Help others with things they don't help themselves with. Fight the idea of ​​not being loved. They give themselves completely to loving someone.
⬜Chiron opposite Midheaven: People can see them as a person who has been through a lot and still has a noble heart. Differences with authority figures, it is likely that one of them has hurt them. They may have problems accepting help and having emotionally intimate moments with others. They provide the emotional and/or verbal comfort that they would have liked to receive.
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⬜Chiron square Sun: Differences and wounds resulting from the father, his actions or words towards the native. Trouble feeling happy with yourself or proud of who you are. Lack of validation in childhood. Ability to identify the wounds that others hold with themselves. They do not judge others and it's easy for them to be accepting and a positive influence on others. Tendency to doubt oneself a lot and have confidence problems. Helpful and generous. 
⬜Chiron square Moon: These natives carry many childhood wounds, their emotional needs may not be fully met. The relationship with the mother may be somewhat strained at certain points and they may feel that they cannot rely on her. These people are able to give a lot of emotional comfort to others and make them feel truly understood, but they hardly feel understood or connected to others. It is crucial that they heal their inner child.
⬜Chiron square Mercury: Painful words or memories seem to wander around your head constantly. Wounded by cruel comments from people close or significant to the native. They greatly doubt their intelligence. They are very understanding, observant and somewhat shy people, they dislike arguments and never waste their time talking to people who do not want to understand. They give the impression of being very wary, intelligent and rational.
⬜Chiron square Venus: Problems integrating your feminine energy and/or in your relationships. They may enjoy giving sincere compliments to others but have trouble accepting compliments. Your vision of your relationship or marriage may be damaged or you may have seen a lot of pain in the relationships of people you loved. They love intensely and want something genuine that will give them hope in love. Trouble seeing your own beauty.
⬜Chiron square Mars: They may have wounds related to male figures, their masculine energy, and frequent tensions or arguments in their childhood. They like to project themselves as strong and do not like to feel very vulnerable. They are afraid to take risks or initiative. They could feel that they themselves had to save and help themselves. They likely grew up in an environment that was boisterous, aggressive, or tense in some way.
⬜Chiron square Mars: They may have wounds related to male figures, their masculine energy, and frequent tensions or arguments in their childhood. They like to project themselves as strong and do not like to feel very vulnerable. They are afraid to take risks or initiative. They could feel that they themselves had to save and help themselves. They likely grew up in an environment that was boisterous, aggressive, or tense in some way.
⬜Chiron square Jupiter: They may have had great hopes or dreams that were disappointed in some way. They are people who can be hurt easily. Sensitive, very empathetic and compassionate. May have crises of faith, where they feel abandoned by God or another deity. They do not let anyone they love be immersed in sadness, being the natives who motivate them to find their own joy. Wounds are a product of the religion or beliefs that were transmitted to them.
⬜Chiron square Saturn: The father figure or figures that are supposed to be supportive could have hurt the native. Feeling of loneliness and deep sadness. They look for ways to motivate themselves to keep going. Silently caring and attentive with others. They don't put expectations on people but on themselves. Humble people. Respectful, responsible and hard workers. They feel better about themselves by achieving things and feel that it is the only way.
⬜Chiron square Uranus: Wounds from feeling separated, judged or not accepted by members of a community or people your age. Feeling like an outcast. They may have the feeling of being alone even with people. Wounds of abandonment or unstable people/situations in their lives. They may have difficulty loving all sides of themselves, but they want the ones they appreciate to succeed. Family chainbreaker vibes.
⬜Chiron square Neptune: Wounds for feeling forgotten or for feeling that others took advantage of your love and kindness. Evasive tendencies about their own pain, from addictions, overworking, or using humor to hide that the topic hurts them. Unconditionality and great devotion. Wounds of betrayal and/or disappointment from someone they loved. They don't want to worry those they love, so they isolate themselves when they have problems.
⬜Chiron square Pluto: They have a wound related to loss or abandonment, or even a lack of control over their own lives. They are too reserved with what torments them emotionally due to the fear of being judged or betrayed after opening up. They often feel like they can't rely on someone. May have a strong inclination towards spiritual themes as a way of helping themselves and others find inner peace and understanding of their inner demons.
⬜Chiron square Rising: The wound lies in physical appearance and this in turn can affect the way they see other areas of their lives. They are people who are too understanding of others, perhaps more than themselves. They will want and be able to help others not feel or go through what they do. They may have wounds that they have carried since childhood and/or because of one or both parents. They help others but hardly allow themselves to be helped.
⬜Chiron square Midheaven: Natives are likely to doubt their ability to achieve great things and may have a tendency to self-sabotage. They help others but refuse to be helped for fear of looking very vulnerable or weak. The father figure may have hurt the native in some way. They can work hard to not think about their problems. They may have problems trusting themselves and their potential. They are seen as wise and strong by others.
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Geology of Natural Disasters and How to write them into your fictional universe.
So, you want to write about a natural disaster to advance your plot and torture your players/characters even more? Let me tell you how, accurately.
I feel like unless it is a volcano, natural disasters are a pretty slept on plot drivers, and some of them are really cool and unique! Today, I will talk to you about land slides, earthquakes (And earthquake related disasters), and volcanoes.
Landslides: Probably one I see the least in stories, but one that would be incredibly interesting to write into a plot where they believe in curses. Landslides can happen along ocean bluffs, slightly hilly areas, and highly mountainous areas, this means it is something that can happen in most landscapes. But what can trigger a landslide? Mostly all you need to trigger a landslide could be just abnormally large amounts of rain, excessive deforestation (with a little bit of rain), or an earthquake. If you don't want to use deforestation or an earthquake as a catalyst, a really cool indicator that the land is slipping and may be prone to a collapse is J hooked trees.
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This indicates that there is soil creeping slowly over time, and it may lead to a major landslide.
2. Earthquakes: Probably one of the easiest things to write, earthquakes can happen anywhere, but they are most common in places that are tectonically active areas. There are about three types of environments you can expect earthquakes to be common. The first is just rugged mountains, if your landscape looks like this, you should write in earthquakes. Associated hazards could be landslides, avalanches, and large falling rocks.
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The next landscape could be a thin mountain range, next to the ocean, very scenic, but very dangerous. Essentially, I am describing a subduction zone environment.
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Earthquakes in these areas could equal a couple different associated disasters. Scenario one: A very large earthquake happens, and the ocean begins to recede. This is a tsunami, enough said. If you are writing a tsunami though, please, please, do not write it as a large wave, thank you. Also, a common way people are hurt by tsunami's are from them going into the ocean because they don't understand a tsunami is going to happen.
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Scenario two: A large earthquake happens, your characters are in a valley and suddenly the ground begins to liquify as the ground shakes, once the shaking stops, the ground becomes solid like nothing ever happened, except everything has suddenly sunk into the now hard ground. This is called liquefaction and it typically happens in areas that have loose dirt or lots of saturated soil.
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Scenario three: There are a lot of small earthquakes, they do not cause a lot of damage, but you begin to notice that one of the isolated mountains has a plume rising. Earthquakes can indicate lava moving underground and the filling of magma chambers.
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The next environment that can host lots of earthquakes would be regions that have a lot of really deep valleys and small mountain ranges (not cone volcanoes), but overall seems pretty flat.
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This indicates a transform fault like the San Andreas. If you want to hint at there being earthquakes in the area, you can show fence posts that are suddenly several feet out of line at a dilapidated farm or something similar.
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(These earthquakes are different because they are cased from sideways movement, not an up-and-down movement this hint can only be used for this environment). Volcanoes would not be found here, but liquefaction and landslides could still occur here.
4. Volcanoes: If you thought earthquakes had a lot of information, volcanoes do too. First you have to ask yourself, what kind of volcano you want to have, what kind of eruption style? So lets break down the kind of eruptions you can have and what their landscapes look like. Hawaiian Shield volcano: This will produce a smooth fast lava, the landscape typically is pretty flat, but there will be small cones and the rocks can have a ropey or jagged texture and the rocks will be almost exclusively black to dark red.
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Stratovolcanoes: These will be solitary mountains, typically, that look like perfect cones (Picture shown in earthquake section). These will have large ash cloud eruptions and pyroclastic flows, they may have some lava, but typically most damage is done from the pyroclastic flows (think Pompeii). Some hints of these, other than describing the cone features (which can be hidden by other mountains), would be to talk about petrified wood! Trees can get fossilized in the ash and I imagine it would be very strange to find this rock that clearly looks to be a piece of wood, but its a rock. Subcategory- Calderas: Used to be a large stratovolcano, but they erupt so explosively that the entire cone collapses and creates a basin.
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There are a lot of kinds of volcanoes out there, so forgive me for just putting an infographic and then talking to you about these really rare types of eruptions that I feel like people should know about.
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Okay lets talk about blue lava (kind of) and black lava
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You will notice the lava is still red in the middle of this image, during the day these would look like a normal eruption, but at night the burning sulfur would make it appear blue. Some cool features other than this, would be that any water in the area would become very acidic and burn the skin due to sulfuric acid. This would again be really cool if you are trying to describe a 'cursed' land.
Black lava: This happens only in the east African rift I believe, but it is a carbonatite lava, but if you are writing in a rift valley (where the continent is tearing apart to form a new ocean) this might be a cool feature. The lava will cool white and will quickly erode, it makes for a very alien landscape!
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Anyway as always, this is supposed to be an introductive guide for the basics of writing geology to create cool landscapes/features into dnd or fictional universes, if you are a geologist please understand my oversimplification of tectonics, I didn't want people to run away.
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colourstreakgryffin · 2 months
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Hiiiii can you do a jealous Alastor but not of anyone but his own shadows bc his wifey takes a liking on one of his shadows.
Oooh! I like this quite a lot! It’s very interesting and unique! Once again, beloved hubby Alastor! Another one I want to explore hubby of is Blitz. I think Blitz would make a good hubby
Alastor- Picking Favourites
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Alastor’s furious, steaming from his deer-like ears so hot that it’s basically boiling him… did somebody hurt his ego? No. Did Angel Dust sexually advance on him again? No. Did his breakfast get interrupted by the Hotel Manager? NO. Nothing has inconvenienced him but something awful has been happening, day by day, that he can barely keep his composure
Hitting your laughter directed at something else feels like a hit that would form a bruise, but knowing your laughter is directed at his mere sentient shadow basically gutted him in the stomach with a sharp butcher knife. You’re his wife, his lady, his realm, the woman he has been fawning over for so long and you’re hitting it up with his sentient silent shadow, and not him?!
Of course, Alastor’s fascinating lively shadow is just being nice to it’s master’s recently wedded wife, and is trying to get you accustom to being around so much Voodoo magic and the weirdness that is Alastor himself so it’s being all caring and leading you around, showing you items and reaching you Alastor’s favourite foods
But that doesn’t mean Alastor isn’t jealous… because he is, he’s really jealous
Whilst he reads through a interesting crime fiction novel, Alastor’s tall fluffy deer-like ears flick up at the sound of your voice. He can’t sense his voodoo-magic induced shadow, meaning that it’s wondered off to you and as he suspected, you enter your husband’s soothingly silent fireplace-warmed accompanied by Alastor’s sentient shadow. It cant really talk but it makes all kinds of humming and echoey noises. It almost seems like you understand it…
Alastor’s patience, throughout every time he hears this, has finally shattered to pieces as his claws dig into the book in his hand, snapping his fingers. The shadow directly mirroring your husband’s look, fades away into thin air as if it was a big fire and a bucket of water was dumped on the top of it, rising up into streams of smoke. It’s gone and you’re confused on why it disappeared
“Darling. Why are you getting so handsy with my friend?”
Alastor almost growls out with his deep scowl… this is possibly the first ever time you and Hell will ever see Alastor frown and frown so deeply he is… it’s kinda unnatural to look at but when Alastor willingly frowns and can’t pull himself to smile, it means he is more than pissed off… you didn’t think just being polite and going along with your husband’s voodoo magic shadow being would ever cause a problem
It’s just that Alastor’s love for you is so strong that it causes jealousy to concur and even jealousy over just some magic creating a shadowy being. Something that is sentient but mainly tied to it’s owner, to Alastor and he is jealous of his own creation
Approaching your beloved husband, the Radio Demon, you lean over, pushing back his somewhat messy crimson red bangs and kisses directly over the pale red almost bullet-sized ‘x’ on the flesh of his forehead. That ‘x’ is the biggest weak spot on Alastor, a symbol of his shame and where his pride can be hurt the most but he doesn’t mind showing off all his weaknesses and vulnerabilities to you… he had already told you about his human life
What’s one little kiss on that ‘x’ going to do?
Pulling back. It’s almost like the single kiss had melted away all his anger and Alastor is now just a soft innocent fluffy little fawn with his crimson red eyes almost sparkling at the affection. He didn’t suspect that, he suspected this’d turn into some big fight but you’re not going to argue, you’re going to explain yourself
“Alastor… Al, my love. I wasn’t replacing you with your shadow buddy. He was just trying to help me get accustom to being your wife. I’ve never been married before and being married to the Radio Demon… it’s. It requires a lot of adjusting so he was just trying to help”
Alastor couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about his half temper tantrum. Of course, why would his shadow even care about having a spouse of its own? It doesn’t, it cares about you being the best wife for its master so it’s trying to help and get you more comfortable. Yes, he is still jealous that you didn’t come to him and go to a shadow… but he does really appreciate all the effort and the wish to not rely on him in order to impress him
After taking a deep breath whilst placing his bigger clawed hand on the smaller clawed hand of yours over his cheek, gently fondling the soft skin over his face. Alastor rhythmically brushes his own fingers over the smooth skin of your hand briefly. Controlling himself, controlling his emotions and then finally saying whilst opening his eyes again to meet yours
Just… such beautiful eyes
“My dear… I appreciate the efforts but please, don’t think you can’t come to me to learn. We’re husband and wife, we work together. You don’t need to go to my friends for that advice”
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harmoonix · 18 days
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🌌Astrology Observations🌌
Spiritual Edition
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🌌 Planets in the 9H and 12H are very spiritual, they are lying deep in the heart of the Universe, the higher mind and the deepest secrets, they combine spirituality with their beliefs
🌌 Neptune/Uranus and Pluto are as well very spiritual planets beside the Moon, they all rule over your subconscious, spiritual mind, your soul/spirit and your higher purpose/higher self
🌌 Having Neptune/Uranus/Moon/Pluto in the 1H is like your higher self tries to send you messages/to guide you on your path
🌌 Moon/Pluto/Neptune/Uranus in the 9H are those type of people who know a lot of deep stuff they won't mention it to everyone, they want to discover what's hidden
🌌 Sun/Moon/Mercury/Chiron in the 12H rule over the hidden subconscious, their subconscious can be either hurt either not so awaken since the moment they wake up (When we sleep our subconscious is the most clear/awaken, that's why most people get flashbacks of the things that happened in their past before putting to sleep) aaaandddd that's why you don't always remember your dreams when you wake up
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🌌 Chiron in the 1st house or at 0° degrees shows a very sensbile soul. A very kind spirit or spiritual people usually call these as "Light worker", this is very powerful if you have it in your draconic/sidereal or ascendant persona chart
🌌 Chiron in the 12H suggest about something bad/traumatic that gets to and end in your lifetime, something bad that "dies* and something good that wil rise after
🌌 Venus in the 12H has the subconscious power to dream about their lovers/partners/or those dear to them,
🌌 Venus/Neptune/Sun aspecting Uranus has the same energy as when as a star is born, something very ingenious is born, giving life to an innovative person
🌌 Pisces/Neptune in the 7H is a very beautiful placement for being spiritual, it will attract spiritual people or people who have a close relationship with the universe (Applied to Pisces Moon)
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🌌 Libra/Moon in the 7H is not far from any of these, here the energy is like the feeling of goosebumps, intense yet refreshing, it fullfils your soul (Applied to Libra Moons)
🌌 Aquarius/Uranus in the 7H is like a rain of falling stars, going from a place to another yet shining/dreaming and desiring the same things at once, the native is blessed with finding the uniqueness in simple/authentic things (Applied to Aquarius Moon)
🌌 Jupiter in the 1st/7H/9H/12H are the little students of the universe, The Universe is teaching them in different ways yet in the same method, to always find spirituality within you
🌌 Moon in the 12H natives can get very many warnings or signs during their sleep/in their dreams, half asleep, half awaken in the spiritual world
🌌 Leo/Sun in the 7H blesses the native with a wwareness of always surrounding themselves with people who appreciate their own selves, like a sign to be more cautious when you find the light of your world (apllied to Leo Moons)
🌌 Ascendant aspecting the Moon is again one of the most beautiful aspects to have related with spirituality. I consider this aspect as the "night's wind" that specific type of breeze hitting you at night, reminding yourself about who you are
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🌌 Neptune aspecting the ascendant is with an eye in this world and with another eye in the spiritual realm, people often think these people just imagine things when in reality they just feel it or see it with their eyes
🌌 People born on the 3rd quarter Moon (Moon Phase) are spirit kids, they may be sensible at first or influenced by a sense of sensibility, kind and generous
🌌 It says that there are 3 types of "souls" people have when they reincarnate on earth
1st type of souls are these souls who come to experience new things, who come face to face with life's lessons and teachings
2nd type of souls are those souls who come here to support or help others, to gain more humanitarian experience,to bring light
3rd type of souls are those who come like a lighting striking who "repairs" or "transforms" things into better, people into better versions of themselves and those who come to finish something from a past life
🌌 Earth and Water Placements are deep connected with the mother earth, I imagine these as a picture with a baby sleeping on ground with the stars guiding his sleep
🌌 Earth Suns are known for being capable during challenges. They are the strong ones and the ones who always have to keep their heads up
🌌 Ceres Asteroid (1) specifically in an air/fire sign is deeply connected with the mind while in a earth/water sign is more connected with the feelings feelints
🌌 "Discover yourself" is what gives Jupiter/Uranus aspecting the ascendant energy, you have something special whitin you
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🌌 "Ray of Light" is what Sun aspecting the ascendant has, very calming/peaceful, just like the ocean, stable and deeply understanding
🌌 Chiron/Pluto/Saturn or Mars in the 4H don't have an easy challenge with their homes and family, they can be generational breakers
🌌 Your 9H sign can actually tell about your ancestors, if you ever wanna know more about them or wanna feel like they calling for you, try to look for your 9H ruler and their aspects 🫶🏼 for example when you have Sag in the 9H it shows your ancestors are very optimistic beings, Virgo in the 9H shows very supportive ancestors, Libra in the 9H shows loving ancestors, Cancer in the 9H shows healing ancestors, Taurus in the 9H shows provided ancestors and so on
🌌 Where Pisces is within your chart you can be the most loving about (the house Pisces is)
Pisces in the 4H about your family
Pisces in the 7H about your relationship
Pisces in the 2H things you spend money on can be the most pleasurable
Pisces in the 1st is yourself
Pisces in the 8H about your transformation/evolution
Pisces in the 5H about your hobbies/talents/free time
🌌 Asteroid Spirit [37452] tells about your soul just like asteroid Psyche (16) try to make a persona chart of it and the result is like a mirror of your soul, your planets and degrees are like your blood vessels and your ascendant is your heart, all working together
🌌 Chiron in your 7H is actually a very strong placement, you can heal others and others can heal your and romantically speaking, you try to find your half soul
🌌 Uranus aspecting Mercury natives have those fast minds who always think faster, think about the future rather than the present, sometimes they can show prophecies
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🌌 Having Pluto and Neptune aspecting together is like an source of knowledge and intuition, your intuition can be so strong and so helpful
🌌 Jupiter and Pluto aspecting can help in manifesting spirituality, if there is something your heart truly wants you'll get it
🌌 Juno Asteroid aspecting planet Neptune gives "Souls don't met by accident" even if the person you met turns to be a bad one it was still meant to be like this to teach you a lesson
🌌 Powerful Degrees to have your Moon in:
Pisces Degrees (12°, 24°)
Sagittarius Degrees (9°, 21°)
Taurus Degrees (2°, 26°)
Born Moon (0°)
Leo Degrees (5°, 17°, 29°)
Capricorn Degrees (10°. 22°)
🌌 Scorpio in your chart/house can show you where you heal/transform/evolve the the most
7H - in your relationship
10H - in your career
1st - withing yourself
4H - in your family
3rd - in your thinking
11H - in your socializing
🌌 Jupiter conjuncting Saturn is a rare yet powerful aspect, grants the native with a sense of teaching and knowledge for "doing more"
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🌌 When Saturn makes contact with the Moon your world can feel like is ending/sad, but you truly try to go deep into the subject you'll see is just a test for you to grow more and more
🌌 Scorpio/Pisces and Cancer Venuses, Venus has a deep lesson for all of them, in Cancer to find comfort and a safe space. In Pisces to follow their heart and their desires and in Scorpio to learn how to love without losing yourself
🌌 Taurus Juno/Venus/Mercury and Moon have the gift of grounding and understanding your surroundings, connect with the nature as much as you can
🌌 Neptune/Uranus in the 6H/10H can indicate that astrology/spirituality can help them a lot in order to fulfill their life path
🌌 Let's also mention that Sun or Moon in the 4H gives a very powerful connection with the family and your ancestors guiding over you
🌌 Shout-out to Cancer Placements especially Rising/Moon/Saturn/Lilith for being so strong and trying to keep it all together even when things may seem to fall apart
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🌌 Shout-out to Capricorn Placements especially to Capricorn Sun/Moon/Chiron/Lilith/Saturn for keeping their smiles even when they had lots of stones on their heart
🌌 Shout-out to Sagittarius Placements especially to Sag Mercury/Mars/Venus and Rising who stopped listening to others and finally decided to do in their own ways, someone is not accepting you? Throw them in the void
🌌 Shout-out to Libra Placements especially to Libra Chiron/Sun/Moon/Saturn trying to keep it at peace even when their mind was overthinking ans stressing over difficult times
🌌 Lastly Shout-out to Taurus Placements especially Taurus Moon/Venus/Sun who always try to show honesty and kindness no matter how bad the other person is
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Today is the day of the eclipse. A very special day in astrology so here we go this with very special post 🫶🏼🌌🫶🏼
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droolypupboy · 2 months
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tips for solo puppy play!!
pup play doesn’t have to be a partnered activity and solo play can be EXTREMELY fulfilling. you deserve to explore your headspace 🫶🫶 i have another post for more general tips for feeling more puppy, you can check that out here, a lot of things on there are ALSO applicable for solo pups.
warning, this is not for puppy regressors!! this is an nsfw post and probably not safe for u if you regress while online. stay safe, sfw puppies.
i would recommend checking out the above post if you want more details on the following: playing fetch alone, puppy snacks, & oral fixation!! all those things can help a LOT for solo pups but since i already went into so much detail previously, this post will have its own unique set of tips. i’m a puppy & i own a puppy sub so im super smart and you should listen 2 me!!!!
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🐾 eating from a dog bowl can help a lot!! but even if that is inaccessible or not to your taste, you can just sit/lay on your tummy on the ground and eat small snacks from a plate. be careful of choking if you choose to lay!!
🐾 make little pup noises!! if you feel yourself going nonverbal and you’re in a place where you’re safe and comfy and have the time, lean into it. make little “hmph” noises when you’re confused, little squeaks when you’re excited, whine and pant, do all the things!! these can be used both sexually and nonsexually. it should come naturally if it’s gonna happen but there’s nothing wrong with doing it on purpose to get the ball rolling.
🐾 you can either invest in a large dog bed OR you can make a little nest of pillows and blankets.
🐾 being on all fours, sitting on the floor, & laying on your tummy are wonderful. inaccessible?? that’s okay!! these are enhancers, not necessities.
🐾 ALL you need for this is a bedroom and some random items. find some things (bad options are things like keys, lighters, phones, anything you use super frequently) to hide and go find again. the more space you have the better but even in smaller spaces, it can be VERY fun to lean into.
🐾 tilt your head in confusion, nudge and “paw” at things, nip and bite at things (safely, clean things, nothing that could hurt you or that you could choke on).
🐾 if you can afford it, invest in a knot style toy. it can help a lot in feeling like you’re small getting used by a bigger dog if that’s your thing. toys with suction cups are amazing too, the less you have to work, the better!!
🐾 do NOT be afraid to use pup centered asmr. it’s available on many many places but most accessibly, youtube & soundgasm through the site flaru. its not cringe, its not silly, it can be rlly good for the headspace. if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, give it a go!! why not??
🐾 invest in dog toys if you can!! make sure to clean them thoroughly before putting them in your mouth, stored r nasty, don’t use any that an actual dog has used only use fresh ones. if you can’t do that, chewelry, largely available on etsy and marketed for sensory issues (which yes, it does work for as well) is a really nice & discreet option.
🐾 go to town if you have a PRIVATE back yard!! run around!! have the zoomies!! chase toys (do not put them in your mouth if you’re playing outside)!! just have a good time.
🐾 press your nose against the window and watch the birds & squirrels & any other animals outside!!
🐾 overstimulation!! it’s rlly good, lose yourself, don’t stop until you can’t take it anymore. silly pups need to get fucked stupid.
🐾 slobber on toys (of the sfw AND nsfw variety), suck your fingers, get messy eating a popsicle or something similar. spit can be VERY puppy if you can handle the mess
that’s all for now, silly pups!! have fun, play safe, be kind to yourself, and remember that all of us puppies are different and unique. what makes one person feel puppy might not make the next person feel puppy. figure out what works for YOU. being puppy is an independent journey 🐕🦴🐾🎾
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hazbinwhoree · 3 months
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General Adam Headcanons
SFW
100% dresses like Adam Sandler under the robe
Pronounces bruh like “brah” unironically
Has a high body count, but not as high as you’d expect
He has abandonment issues cause of Lilith and Eve
He’d never admit it but losing both Lilith and Eve to Lucifer really fucked him up
Lilith left him for Lucifer, and Eve cheated on him with Lucifer
Due to knowing the pain of being cheated on, he will never cheat despite the fuckboy persona
Man can actually settle down with the right person
Wears his mask all the fucking time, he only takes it off to sleep
He thinks it makes him look badass and his favorite feature is the horns
He’s tall as fuck (6’5) but he’s kind of thin, so he wears a big ass robe to make up for it
You can only tell by his arms
He likes to appear big
His favorite thing about himself is his dick (surprise)
Listens to heavy metal
Can’t cook for shit
Needs therapy but will never accept therapy
Doesn’t realize how misogynistic he is and if you tried to tell him he would get defensive
“What, I fucking love women, they’re hot.”
Says “nuh uh”
Cried in front of Lute once– they never talk about it
Shockingly, he doesn’t have any STD’s and he’s very proud of that
Sees Lute as a best friend but he’d never let her know she means that much to him
Has a colorful vocabulary of cuss words and unique nicknames, ie “Danger Tits”
Is really good at coming up with unique insults too
Never get into banter with him, he will hurt your feelings
Sleeps like a rock but moves a lot in his sleep
Seriously, he’ll hit every position in one night
His band is actually really popular in Heaven, and he’s renowned for being the best guitarist
Of course, that only strokes his ego
Ego bigger than his dick, for real
But if you can get past his ego, he can be fun to be around
Touch starved
Cares for very few people, but he would die for the people he does care about
NSFW
Absolutely has a size kink
He’s tall and he loves to be able to look down at his partner
It makes him feel powerful, but he also finds it cute
Has tried every sex position possible but his favorite is missionary
Rarely does he do missionary however because he only likes it with someone he cares about
Phenomal at giving head
He has a long tongue and he knows his way around a vagina
Actually has a big dick, he’s not kidding
Like no wonder he walks around like he’s a god
Also has a virginity kink and it’s definately related to his abandonment issues but he’ll never address that
Whenever he has sex, he always goes for a round 2 in the shower
Actually hates being called things like “daddy” and “master”
While he has some kinks, he’s actually not a very kinky guy
But he’s down to try anything
Has been pegged, doesn’t prefer it
His third and final kink is a breeding kink
He has no idea why but its imperative that he finishes inside his partner
Messy, loves being feral in the bedroom
The kind of guy who’s gone right after a hookup
But if he has a partner, he insists on cuddling after sex
Perfers tits over ass
Will bury his face in his partner’s while they cuddle
One time he came from looking at himself in a mirror during a hookup
Eye contact goes crazy with a partner
Needs to see partner’s every reaction and expression
Also needs control the whole time
Will never sub again, he hated it
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tanaor · 1 month
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Don't know how to create hooking character arcs?
(✨Dos and don'ts in character arc creation, part 1: don'ts✨)
Every writer knows that's a good character arc is something hard to achieve, and that there is usually a very fine line between making your characters evolve to the better and making them change completely... But don't worry! That's why today I wanted to share some of my tips to give your characters that something that will make their transformative journey unique, and also make your readers fall in love with them. So, let's get right to it!
DON'TS
1. Don't make your characters passive.
Your story needs someone strong to fight against whatever you are planning to put them trough! Making your characters strong doesn't necessary mean creating buff characters, but a good character will always have that *something* that can always push them to their try best. Could be a goal, a loved one, an ideology...
2. Don't give your characters some random disaster for no reason.
Of course, this things sometimes happen, but the best kind of disasters are the ones your character has put themselves into: they have no one else to blame (even if they tried). This are the disasters you should be pressuring for your characters, because they will teach your character something. Maybe your character was very egocentric during most of the story, and now they are alone. You can now either make them realize, or start a villain character arc were they believe the world has made them like that...
3. Don't make the decisions easy.
During the story, your character will have to take a lot of decisions, including many important ones, but here is the deal... Most of them shouldn't be easy. Make it hard for them to decide, make the decisions something that they feel guilty of, make them think that, maybe, "there really was a better alternative". Also remember that when taking hard decisions, characters usually decide what they think will make them suffer less: that's what we call pain vs pain.
4. Don't make everything terrible.
Remember: there's always calm before the storm. And, if you give your characters a false sense of victory, failure will always hurt more. (Even if you don't plan your characters to fail, it's a good technique to use before eventually everything comes down).
5. Don't be afraid of giving the character the ending they deserve.
When the story ends, you should be capable of naming at least three mayor changes in your character. But, of course, when the story ends you also want your readers to think "yes, that's what needed to happen". So, writers: don't be afraid. If the character deserves a bad ending, give it to them. If they deserve to succeed, let them win. Each story is different, but there will always be that ending that you feel is the right thing... Believe me, if a character deserves to fail, I'll want them to fail at the end, and there is not a feeling as good as someone getting what they deserve, what they have been earning since page one.
I wish this was helpful, and if you are interested keep tuned for the part 2: dos in writing character arcs. Happy writing everybody!!
Other tips for writers: previous | next
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zeldasnotes · 6 months
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SQUARE OBSERVATIONS 🪽
Read before you proceed: These are my personal observations and not facts. The whole chart has to be taken into consideration.
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Mars Square Jupiter can make someone super ambitious but it can also make someone lazy bc they want what they want NOW. And if they cant have it instantly they might be like ”f*ck it then I dont want it” and therefore dont work for it. But on the other hand these people are experts on how to find a quick way to get stuff, waiting is not for them.
Mars Square Neptune can give someone a beautiful body language. The way they walk, dance and move in general can be mesmerizing. Like a balet dancer.
If you date a Venus Square Moon/Lilith man you will know the meaning of the quote “Half of me is beautiful, but you were never sure which half.” — Ruth Feldman, “Lilith”. He got different types of archetypes in his head fighting and you will only fit one of them.
People with Sun Square Mars are some of the most ambitious people you can find when they stop putting focus on worthless competitions with other people and instead put that energy into their goals.
Sun Square Moon is having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. Whatever choice you make the other half of you disagrees with.
Venus Square Pluto attract powerful people very easily. If you check the charts of the wives of the most powerful men in the world you will see this aspect pop up in a lot of the charts. Trophy wife aspect.
Venus Square Ascendant can make Venus very turned off by Ascendant behaviour. As a Cap Rising most Venus in Aries men were very turned off by my boring, stoic and calm behaviour.
Sun Square Mars in synastry very often leads to conflict from what Ive seen.
Ive noticed that people who have Moon or Venus Square Pluto had a mother who had a hard time bonding with them when they were babies or the mother suffer from post partum depression . Bc of this some people with these aspects experience an obsession with women since they have an inner inexplainable hunger for a motherfigure.
A situation Ive seen in the charts of some guys with Lilith Square Venus was that they hang around socially acceptable people(Venus ppl) but tend to fall for women who are considered not socially acceptable(bad rep etc, typical Lilith women) so their love life clash with their friendships and social life unless his friends learn to accept their partner.
Moon Square Pluto people have very strong reactions to others. Sometimes its their intuition but sometimes its just pure projection. Can be very quick to judge.
Getting into a relationship with someone with Sun Square Ascendant can be a real shocker bc you saw one thing and you got something else. That carefree, swaggy straighforward Aries Rising with Cancer Sun guy you met at the bar turned out to be much more passive aggressive, grudgeholding and sensitive than he seemed at first sight.
Mars Square Uranus = 0 to 100 real quick. They can get stuff done fast tho! Geniuses when it comes to fighting too.
Juno Square Venus people have a tendency to meet a partner who fits their Venus and then try to change them to become more like their Juno. For example someone with Venus in Aquarius Square Juno in Taurus meets and Aquarius Rising woman and falls for her because she is so unique, free spirited and how she goes against traditions. But when he gets her he tries to make her more traditional and might shame her uniqueness.
People who are into men and have Juno Square Mars like one kind of man in bed and another kind of man for relationships. They have two types which can be very hurtful for the guy they are into. (Im not saying they will cheat im just saying they are never satisfied)
If you want an honest answer ask someone with Mercury Square Mars. They will tell you.
People with Neptune Square either Venus or Ascendant are the most likely to have absolutely no idea how they look like.
Ceres Square Pluto can indicate someone who becomes obsessively attached to anyone who makes them feel the slightest feeling of nurture. They might baby others or want others to baby them.
Venus Square Jupiter people are so loving and generous. They really love giving.
Venus Square Saturn NEEDS to be respected and to be ”somebody”. Respect is so important to them.
Venus Square Uranus make the craziest outfits work. They have you like ”What the helll is she wearing?? But it looks kinds good…?”
Venus Square Neptune = The cool girl monologue ”Nick and Amy will be gone. But then we never really existed. Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be. Cool girl. Men always use that, don’t they?  As their defining compliment. She’s a Cool girl. Cool girl is hot. Cool girl is game. Cool girl is fun. Cool girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrin loving manner and then presents her mouth for f*cking. She like what he likes.”
© 2023 Zeldas Notes
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crystalflygeo · 4 months
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Virgin-killer Sweater ft Zhongli + fem!reader
cw/tags: Riding, fingering, handjob, tit play, dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, inappropriate use (or is it?) of the virgin killer sweater//jk
notes: Hi hello I hope this breaks my dry spell happy 2024 I didn't expect to write this at all but @ainescribe (<3) tested my horny braincell by giving me this prompt and wHEW it got good
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You blinked in surprise at the item that dropped out of the small plastic bag onto the bed as you were organizing the closet. Thick light blue wool greeting your eyes as you picked it and stared at it confused until it clicked. It was some stupid thing a friend had prank gifted you some years ago, you were surprised to find it bundled up in a corner after all these years a so-called ‘virgin-killer sweater’. It used to be all the rage, but you swore you could never wear something so… revealing, at all.
Yet you kept it.
You bite your lip and sneak a glance at the mirror.
You’re older now, your body a bit more… ahem… shapely. And enjoyed indulging in some sexy clothing once in a while, if only for the confidence boost and the look on your dear husband’s face.
Hm, what would he think of this? Your cheeks warm up a little, it’s so silly.
With a slow hum you stand up and shrug off your current lounge shirt, unclasping your bra and kicking off your shorts before sliding the wooly article over your head, shivering at how it feels over your bare skin. The material is thick and warm, soft yet admittedly a little ticklish.
“There is no way this is meant to be worn with nothing under…” You mumble blushing a little as you struggle to adjust it. The openings at the sides are impossibly deep and no matter how much you tug and pull at the bottom it either dips way too low on your lower back or reaches too high on your thighs.
Maybe it’s a little… short on you?
You stare at the mirror from different angles and twirl around, it’s fuzzy at the neck and front the front it looks kind of cute but everything is else is… well…
You huff a little embarrassed. Well, you suppose it could be nice if matched with another top, using it like a vest or something… maybe with a backless top or lace just so some of the skin still showed thro- 
The sound of the apartment opening caught you attention and immediately made you heart speed up.
“Darling, I’m home.”
Oh, no!
No no no no no no-
“J-Just a moment!” You scramble for your clothes while trying to take off the atrocious garment when you slip over some other clothes and items scattered around in your cleaning spree.
The loud thump and your following yelp coming from the room was surely enough to gather even the neighbor’s attention.
You hear quick footsteps and then Zhongli appears at the bedroom’s door, eyes wide in worry before stopping dead in his tracks.
Squealing you struggle between sitting up and trying to cover your crotch and your butt with the offending piece of clothing.
“T-This is not-! Wait! D-Don’t look!”
A flush spreads over your face as you try to curl up into a ball in embarrassment. Zhongli’s golden eyes study you for a few tense moments before he quickly reacts, coming to help you up.
“Are you hurt?”
“N-No, I’m fine…”
He regards your outfit with fascination and you shrink under the intense gaze. Zhongli is observant, he doesn’t merely stare, he evaluates… appraises things with those mesmerizing golden eyes.
“What is that?”
“A sweater… sort of.” You mumble, still uncomfortably pulling at the hem and the bottom and feeling it dip lower than intended at your butt, again. 
“It’s very unique.”
“it’s stupid.” You puff out mortified, picking up your shorts from the corner of the bed.
“Wait-” Zhongli’s hand stops yours and you feel goosebumps rise along your naked shoulders. “Let me see you, please…”
You gulp and feel your heart thump in your ears, buzzing with some sort of giddy nervous excitement.
You’re being ridiculous, it’s not like he hasn't seen you in less… or nothing at all.  
You push the thought away standing back a few steps, the deep cuts down the sides granting him a glorious peek of sideboob. You nervously fidget with the hems.
“I-I think it’s a little sma-”
“Let me see the back...”
Oh. That deep tender sound. It was not a demand but a plea, a hint of sensual hunger under the calm stillness of his voice, soft and humming like he does when he holds you close.
You turn and brush your hair out of the way, straightening up as you had in front of the mirror, showing off the low low cut at the back, the hem of your panties peeking through.
“it’s…” You start.
“Tantalizing…” He hums.
You can see his Adam’s apple bob and his eyes darken just so, and your lips part with a soft sound.
“You look gorgeous, my dear.”
Your skin breaks into goosebumps again. “I-It’s embarrassing.” You insist, yet any other complaint dies in your lips with a squeak as Zhongli’s palms runs over your exposed shoulder blades, large and warm, and you feel his breath on your ear, a soft sigh.
You whine when he drags his knuckles along your spine, savoring the dip and arch of your back, caressing the tender skin, tracing the edges of the fabric along the swell of your butt and dipping lower to fondle it.
“Zhongli…” You whimper breathlessly.
“Shh… I got you.” Zhongli soothes you with a low croon, nuzzling into the slope between your covered neck and onto your shoulder. The skin there is hot and he nibbles at it gently. “I could just eat you up.”  
“You could…” You mumble, the anticipation boils between your legs.
“I think I might.” He replies low, words heated at the shell of your ear before he nips there too, his hands sliding back up the smooth skin of your naked back, fingers teasing at the edges of your breasts before slipping under the knitted garment and cupping them. You gasp.
Your nipples are already hard, little peaks against the wool, so sensitive as they rub the soft material while Zhongli massages and plays with your chest. “Hnnng… ah!” slender fingers take one of the little buds between them, pinching and tweaking just enough that your back arches and your mouth opens in a silent moan.
“So, so beautiful…” He kisses the top of your spine, teasing there with his teeth.   
“S-Stop teasi-oh Oh!” A chill runs down your body as he unexpectedly licks a stripe along your back and then you hear him chuckle against your skin, it makes your heart jump.
His hands never stop caressing your breasts, and he cups both before giving them a squeeze. Zhongli tilts forward pressing against you and you can feel a certain hardness against your ass. “Does it feel good?”
“Yes… feels good- hah.” You pant, eyes fluttering closed. “Mmm… Li… more please.”
Oh, how he loves seeing you like this, face flushed and eyes half lidded in bliss. He rubs his thumb against your pebbled nipple and then pinches it again making you gasp and squirm. Your hips buck and rub back unconsciously, seeking fiction.
“Come here.” He kisses your cheek and sits at the edge of the bed, gently stringing you along. “Take off your panties, let me help you darling.” His hands roam your thighs and pull the hem of the sweater just a little, hunching it at your hips. You’re too horny to care at this point and brace your hands on Zhongli’s broad shoulders as he slips your underwear down your knees, you gingerly step out of them and sink into his lap with practiced ease.
Your lips meet in a kiss as you circle his neck with your arms, immediately licking into his mouth and moaning as he adjusts your position, cupping your ass and accompanying the soft sway of your hips as you grind against his bulge. Zhongli groans on your mouth.
The slight coldness in your naked back makes for such a contrast against the hot wetness between your legs, the sweater’s fabric rubbing on your chest as you move, further stimulating as he continues to devour you, just as he said.
His hands move to your thighs, tracing patterns that have your legs quaking and tensing before his fingers dips lower below the cotton and brush your heated pussy. You break the kiss with a mewl.
“Ah… f-fuck… wait-”
He traces those sinful fingers along your folds, poking and prodding, smearing your wetness and finding your entrance. You kiss him fiercely again, combing your fingers on his hair pulling him closer and tilting your head.
It’s needy, it’s desperate, it’s…       
He sinks the tips of his fingers inside you and you muffle another sound, shifting and grinding on his lap again. He works you open slowly, sinful fingers following the pace of your kiss becoming more and more daring. Oh, his pants have to go. Now.
Fumbling hands work his belt open and struggle for a few moments with his pants, enough so two of his fingers sink down to the knuckle. You whine and he chuckles, both gasping as your lips separate again.
“Let me- fuck, please-” You paw at Zhongli’s crotch incessantly, worked up. Finally, that perfect thick cock springs free, leaking slightly at the tip and gods your mouth waters.
“So impatient.” He grunts as you trace a finger along his length, thumb rubbing at the tip collecting the bead of precum there and wiping it on your tongue before you can even think, the musky tart taste makes you burn with want.
You notice how his length is trapped between your bodies, pressed against your navel and rubbing on the dumb sweater… and a wicked idea comes to mind. You smirk.
You wrap your hand around Zhongli’s cock, pumping slowly and firmly, and once you feel him resume the movement of his fingers inside you, you start canting your hips again, purposefully making it so the thick wool of your attire strokes against his sensitive shaft, adding another layer of stimulation.
“You- hah…” His words dissolve into a moan as you bite your lip and try to keep up the pace, it’s clumsy but the sounds you pull from him and the way his fingers stretch and pump you is so delicious, feels so good…
In no time your breath quickens. You pump your hand faster. More and more. Hot, so hot, so good. Your eyes fluttering shut, concentrating on the feelings. Your mind slow and hazy, just chasing that delicious pleasure. Only you two exist at this moment.
“Li, I’m… I-I’m…”
His thumb brushes against your clit and you come undone with a sharp cry, a quick and hard orgasm wracking your body and you keen and cry out, vision going blank.
His cock throbs in your palm, hot and hard and you gulp, moving a little sluggish to rise on trembling knees “More please, want you, need you…” You whisper and pull the sweater up to your waist. He helps you get it out of the way and then sink down on him, inch by inch filling you way more than his fingers did.
He hums and tips his head forward to rest his forehead against yours, basking in the closeness for a moment. “Are you ready?” Your eyes meet and you nod.
He leans down to kiss as his hands slide to your hips for support. You love the way Zhongli kisses you when he’s inside you. He tastes like sweet decadent tea, like hunger, passionate, unyielding, insatiable hunger.
He lets out a low growl as you lift and drop your hips against him, that thick cock molding your insides and rubbing all the right spots. You feel his fingers tightening their grip around you as you pick up the pace, grabbing his shoulders for support as you ride him. Your kiss dissolving to fleeting pecks as you pant and moan against each other’s lips.
His hips move under you, matching your rhythm as he rolls them in time with your hips. Heavy lidded eyes take in your figure writhing on his lap before he leans forward with a wicked thought of getting even at you and he takes one of your nipples into his mouth, wetting the fabric as he mouths and sucks at the little peak. You let out a high-pitched whine and claw at his back.
“So close, so close, please please please…” You babble as that sweet climax builds closer and closer.
Your thighs quiver and Zhongli takes over, planting his feet on the ground and beginning to thrust in earnestly. You sob and arch your back, clinging to his shoulders as he slams into you chasing his pleasure.
“So beautiful… your little sounds… your skin…” He hisses, his breath coming in hard gasps. “Come for me. Come, come, come, come-”
You arch your back and keen as your orgasm washes over you, shuddering on his hold as it drags this time. You feel a pulse and then a flood of sticky warmth inside you as he cums, groaning low and resting his head against the valley between your breasts. Your body melts against his as you both rest there, catching your breaths.
You nuzzle at his hair as you come down from your high, pressing a fond kiss to the top of his head. In turn, his arms surround you and hug you closer, sighing into your chest with contentment.
“Hm… want to accompany me for a shower, my love?” He asks as you pull back a little to stare at him, his hands cup your face.
You test your legs as you try to stand up but your knees wobble and there’s a tingling feeling still simmering on your skin. “You’ll have to carry me.” You decide, plopping back on his lap.
He chuckles, deep and precious as he kisses your nose. “Anything for you.”
“Hmm, you know Li… I think I’ll keep it.” You smile mischievously as your hand brushes the wool at your neck.
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thinkingofausername · 15 days
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can yall imagine the giddiness you'd be feeling if you were with astarion? cause like... i'd never digest it, i just couldn't settle down.
imagine having that gorgeous gorgeous man, so very charming and special and attentive and fun and sweet as your partner. sometimes he seems unreal, an eternal and divine being with starlight in his hair and passion in his eyes. underneath the snarky, flirty, uncaring performance is a person so unique, so enduring, so unfalteringly strong in his persistence. amidst the horror and abuse he didn't go crazy, didn't lose that innocent and yearning spark. you'd look at those vivid and expressive eyes, hear that wavering and genuine voice, feel those tentative and soft hands and you'd be undoubtedly sure of the goodness in him; the goodness within his capability.
imagine looking at a person so deeply precious and knowing he's been hurt and used so much. imagine feeling nauseous at the thought. imagine knowing that despite that he's still brave enough to seek and receive affection and companionship - the things he's never known and yet he has enough courage to trust you to show it to him. you're his first and only experience with softness and boundaries and a person who has never had control of himself has given himself to you - given you the chance to teach him.
you get to look at that inhumanely beautiful person, so very clever and appreciative, and you know that he chose you. he holds you so tightly because you're the first thing he's had. you're the refuge, the kind word and hand he never thought he'd have. sometimes you look at him and get struck with the potential and power in him, and not the materialistic, ugly power. the power that lies within a person who has emerged from agony and given the world a chance to treat him differently instead of giving up entirely.
he's all that and despite his bravado, you know he doesn't see it. you know he feels a phantom rot within himself. you know that he could be the most beautiful person in the world, and he will - with time and love and healing. and you get to watch it happen. and he cherishes every second you spend by his side.
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livefastdrivefaster · 4 months
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My Other Half | CL16
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Pairing: Charles x Reader
Summary: When Charles accidentally scares you, leading to him anxiously taking care of you. Complete fluff.
Word count: 900 words
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
An old Porsche was sitting in your garage. You managed to get it at a great deal, mainly because the car was close to falling apart. Almost every part needed replacing or some kind of work, and you were beginning to question if you should’ve just built a car from scratch at this point. But you weren’t opposed to the idea of a project, and you had been dreaming of owning this very car since you were young, so Charles stepped in to give you the best birthday present ever.
Because of how old the car was, the suspension was completely worn out. You decided to buy the necessary replacement parts and change it out yourself. You had worked on many cars before, so you weren’t afraid of the challenge, you just really needed to get this one right because the parts were astoundingly expensive. You were underneath the car, connecting the suspension parts to the undercarriage when Charles came home to your shared apartment. 
Not finding you in the main apartment, he knew you were likely downstairs working on the Porsche. Your boyfriend always told you there were too many things about you that he loved to count, but he especially adored your passion for your arguably unique hobbies, but how amazing you were at it all too. You always blasted music through your headphones while working, so you didn’t hear Charles come down into the garage to see you. Seeing your legs peeking out from under the car, Charles smiled to himself, lowering himself to the floor to surprise you. 
At the same time, you realised you had mistakenly grabbed the wrong size wrench for the bolt you were trying to loosen, and turned your head to look for the right tool lying somewhere near you. 
You weren’t expecting to find a face an arm's length away from you. You screamed and instinctively shot up, hitting your head hard on the metal framework above you. Recognising the face as Charles, your body relaxed and you lowered yourself back to the ground, placing your hand over the part of your head that made contact with the car.
“Ah! Y/N, are you okay?” Charles called out, reaching his arm out to you. 
You could only groan in pain as the initial shock of the hit wore off. Charles slides his body underneath the car to lie next to you, petting your head sympathetically. 
“Can you move? Can I get you ice? How much does it hurt?” Charles blurted out his questions at a rapid-fire pace, and you could tell his voice was close to breaking from worry. 
“I’m okay.” You say, giving him a weak smile before rolling out from beneath the car. He follows your movements, moving quickly in his desperation to get back to being next to you. 
You sit together for a moment in silence, backs against the evil, pain-inducing Porsche. You hear Charles mumbling about ice before he jumps up from beside you. 
“I’ll get ice, my love.” He says, darting off upstairs. 
“You don’t have to, Charles, it really isn’t that bad!” You call after him. 
It was. But you didn’t want to send Charles over the edge into a nervous breakdown. You hear some commotion from the kitchen, and the almost certain thud of Charles falling down a few stairs before your boyfriend appears next to you. He crouches down next to you, steadying himself with an arm placed beside your head, and gently places the cool ice on your forehead. You flinch from the harshness of the temperature, and Charles immediately withdraws from you. 
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’ll only sting for a moment, I promise.” He says quietly, slowly placing the ice back on your pain. You wince a little still, but forget about it all when he leans into you. The remnants of the cologne he applied this morning, mixed with the sweet smell of his post-gym skin filled your senses. You wish you could bottle his scent, and keep it in a locket around your neck forever. It was addicting, just as yours was to him. 
“Mon preux chevalier (my valiant knight).” You sighed. He smiled at you shyly, before dropping his arm beside your head to cusp your face. 
“I am no knight, I did this to you.” He says, concerned eyes darting between yours, rubbing circles into your cheek with his thumb. 
“Yeah, sneaking up on me was pretty stupid, huh?” You say, half-suppressing a cheeky smile.
“Oh,” he says slowly, catching onto your joke, “not my fault you get all jumpy around me, hm? Almost like you have a crush on me, yeah?” 
“Just a little one.” You say, giggling lightly.
His cool complexion breaks at this, unable to stop the soft laugh bursting up his chest, born from the heart you warmed with your mere presence. The moment is brief, but encompassing. Despite the years you had spent with Charles, every day felt like the first night of a young couple’s honeymoon. Giddy and loving. 
“Does it hurt still?” 
“Not at all.”
He tentatively removed the ice from your head, his green eyes glimmering in the golden light of the dying day. Slowly, ever so slowly, he encompassed your body in his own, leaning down to place the most gentle of kisses on your hairline. 
“Ma moitié” 
(My other half)
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