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#who i am was a disappointment nd i fucked it up bc of a misunderstanding
skunkg1rll
ยท
1 month
Text
i cant stop thinking abt him... have been doing that all daynd i feel so sad nd my heart hurtsso bad nd i long for him sm it's just a bad day :((
#it's bc i saw that he
#uploaded his background which was just nothing. and said that he feels empty
#and a couple of months ago before i ruined it all
#he said that he had me as his background
#so now i feel so fkn sad
#i dont know why im like this but i feel so crazy about him i wanna die
#i think about him constantly and i'venever ever wanted to be with or know someone this badly
#and to know that he sees me as a disappointment... and not good enough for him... and that he doesnt love me enough to wanna fix it
#or even have a 'it' with me
#hurts so bad
#so now im just in an awful headspace...
#i hate myself so much
#i wish i could go back and not do what i did
#i did it bc i thought it'd bring me closer to him
#but i was wrong and i didnt understand that until now
#and instead it caused him to think im not what he thought i was or what he wants me to be
#and no matter how much i try to explain i realize thatonly i understand
#bcmy brains broken and no one could ever understand why i do what i do
#i am alone. always and forever i will never know closeness or intimacy
#the thing is thatbefore i met him i was fine w that
#i kinda longed for it but i had resigned myself to a life without it
#then i met him nd it felt real nd like it could bereal for me
#plus i genuinely like him sm i feel sm for him so i desperately want it w him
#but then..... it turned out that im not good enough for him
#it just rlly hurts that the ONLY time i've ever wanted someone
#and it started w them wanting me back
#who i am was a disappointment nd i fucked it up bc of a misunderstanding
#that i cant clear up bc i cant make anyone understand my fucked up broken reasoning
#i will bealone forever and i just wanna die
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