#so now im just in an awful headspace... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

koishiro · 8 months

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𝑬𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 | 방탄소년단 📍

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : Jungkook just wants to take care of you and if that means he needs to join you in the bath then so be it

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : Jungkook x fem!reader

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : fluff/smut

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 : Jungkook has a kink for dom reader, penetration, unprotected sex, cumming inside

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒍 : reader’s nickname is cat because I had too many puns to use im sorry- (it’s explained I promise :’))

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"Baths ready" I heard echo out of the bathroom.

"Thank you" I mumbled, getting up from the bed, slower this time.

The bath was aromatic, full of bubbles and looked so peaceful. I leaned against the door frame closing my eyes.

"Cat, are you going to be ok in there?" He questioned softly.

"I'm fine" I snapped back to reality. I was aware of my stubborn determination to be self sufficient, especially after having a panic attack.

"It's okay to need help" Again the soft tone of his voice irked at my independence.

"I'm fully capable of having a bath, what are you going to do? join me? It's ok, I've got this" I said trying and failing to unzip the back of my dress.

"If that's what it takes to know you’re okay? Then yes” If I hadn't just burnt out all my brains reserves of adrenalin having a panic attack, I'm positive my mind would have been running a thousand miles an hour, but for the first time in a long time, it wasn't. I was entirely focused on the basic things - like how relaxing the bath looked and how good it would feel to wash my face and hair. I still had some wits about me, as romantic as the concept of having a bath together was, and despite how my body was reacting to the idea, I wasn't necessarily in the right headspace for anything intimate; I tried to make that thought process clear.

"It can't be anything. But, yeah, I'd appreciate the company. I don't really want to be alone right now" I offered honestly, "but you can't look”

"I know" He sighed, "Not like this, this is not how I ever imagined it Y/n, I sincerely just want to make sure you're okay”

"Not like this...?" I repeated what he said. My brain and heart took a double take as I stared up at him. He'd thought about it, he'd thought about us. "Okay, I'm not looking” He turned around, embarrassed.

I slipped out of my clothes and slowly hopped into the bath. It was gigantic, so full of bubbles. The water sitting almost at my shoulders, I was able to easily sit sideways with my knees up to my chest.

"Okay, you can look”

"Aw you look so small” he noted, sitting next to the bath.

"I thought you were going to join me?"

"Ah, it's okay, I'll just keep you company, I really want to let you have space” He reached and scooped up a handful of bubbles, placing them on my head "Cat in a hat”

I took a hand full of bubbles and blew into it, spraying him with them, he laughed and sighed.

I turned to lie and stretch out in the bath, considering I had it all to myself, I thought it best to make the most of it. He leaned against the tub and played videos on his phone to keep us both amused, occasionally splashing me.

"You know you actually need to wash yourself in the bath?" he joked.

My eyes fluttered open and shut again, "’m just so tired, you said to relax" I twisted his words to fit my agenda.

"Come on, wake up!" he splashed my face.

"No, you wake up” I lazily splashed him back.

"We can't hide in here all day" Splash.

"You can't hide in here all day," I splashed him again "This is my home now”

"I thought Cats hated water” Splash.

"It's a myth, I'm a purrmaid now" I stretched out, enjoying my terrible pun and attempting to ignore the barrage of water attacks.

He splashed me just for the bad joke, he sat there looking a little angry and wet "That's it! Cat-tatonic, you can't stay in there forever” he got up and left the room.

"I can and I will!" I yelled after him.

I didn't feel bad about it at all. I lied back again, closing my eyes and enjoying the peace, trying desperately not to accidentally fall asleep.

He sauntered back a few minutes later wearing a towel. With all the photos and videos he'd sent me over the years I'd never actually seen him shirtless. I drank it in for a minute, his shoulders and arms were my favourite part, muscular with one full sleeve of tattoos.

"Hey, hey, hey, no looking” he laughed and I covered my face with my hands, clearly still looking. "Cat, this is kind of nerve wrecking, please?"

"Okay, okay, okay, just saying, I don't understand why. You’re hot so” I turned away from him, this was difficult, I could have stared for decades, etching his physique into my mind like stone.

"Now schooch over," he demanded, "If you're never getting out, I'm getting in”

I moved forward in the bath and he stepped in, sitting behind me, making the water rise and splash a little over the edge.

"OK, you were right, this is pretty relaxing. Well, pretty and relaxing”

I looked back and smiled at him, he always got to me with his sneaky compliments.

"Alright now, come here" he said, I backed up little so I was sitting between his legs but not fully against him, I felt a sudden cold on my head.

"What are you...?"

He was washing my hair, I was confused but okay with it.

"Since you're determined to just sit and do nothing, we'll be here for ever, so I'll do it” He started to massage the shampoo into my hair, It was a nice feeling, I'd only had hair dressers ever do this and it wasn't like they actually got in a bath with you. It felt so intimate and caring, his hands massaging my tired head. I was close to melting down the drain with the water at that point, I was so at peace. I certainly didn't expect him to randomly blast the conditioner out with the shower head set to cold.

I screamed and turned awkwardly in his lap "You bastard!"

He was just smiling that dumb fucking smile that he always used to get away with anything. I put my knees on his legs to gain purchase and grabbed his throat lightly. I suddenly noticed he was looking down, not at my face. In my attempt to be threatening, I was giving him a full view of my breasts, nipples perky as the cold water dripped down my body. Something about the way I'd grabbed him dominantly stirred something inside me, something I didn't know was there.

"If this is how I die I'm 100% fine with it" he gleamed.

"Ah, you pervert" I teased, dropping back down into the water and turning my back to him quickly. Deflecting my own thoughts yet still sitting between his legs again, choosing to be closer this time.

"hey, I did nothing”

"Sure”

He got a loofa and started scrubbing my back gently

"This is kinda weird right?" I said thinking aloud, my brain starting to work again.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Not at all, but I mean, we've sorta just met”

"We've been friends for eight years" He said defensively.

"Online though" I reminded him. "So have you bathed Taehyung?" I was referring to one of our mutual male friends.

"No, but he's never refused to get out of a bathtub before, I guess this is a new one” he laughed, "Arm up”

I raised my arm, he glided the loofa up and down, washing it, then proceeded down the side of my body, grazing my breast and hip.

"Other one”

Same thing again, one of his hands had snaked its way to resting on my waist, I wasn't sure why it was so intensely comfortable but also so present in my mind. All the physical touch in such a gentle caring manner was turning me on a lot more then I expected.

"Do you want to do the rest? Or do you want me to?" He questioned, it had become apparent the next parts would be very intimate. I slid back against him so my back was on his chest.

"Is it weird I'm enjoying this? this is so relaxing and..." I paused, changing my thought pattern "I can do it if you don't want to?"

"Not weird at all, I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm so glad you’re feeling better" he pulled my waist towards him so I was fully pressed against him for a hug. He body felt good against mine, his arms felt strong wrapped around me. The bubbles, the water, all adding an extra layer of sensation. I knew he was being kind but it was impossible to not notice that he was absolutely turned on, I could feel him so hard against my back.

"Seems like your feeling pretty good yourself" I giggled.

"Hey, I really can't help it, it doesn't have to mean anything. I just, can't..." he paused for a moment to collect his words "I cant control what my body feels with you naked. Just ignore it, I promised I wouldn't do anything but help you”

"I think I understand the feeling” I sighed quietly to myself.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing... you missed a spot" I said handing him the loofa again.

He slowly washed my shoulders and collar bone, then skipped to my waist and stomach, he started mirroring what he was doing with his hand on one side, loofa in the other and occasionally swapping. It was slow and sensual, it felt like he was exploring my body. At a leisurely pace he moved to my legs and thighs, stopping just short of anything too intimate. I knew it wasn't intentional, but it felt like teasing and it was driving me wild, I could tell how wet I was even in the water. I was aware of my pulse in my pussy as he ran his hands up my inner thighs. I could feel his cock getting even harder, I wasn't sure that was possible when I had first lied back against him.

He moved his hands up to my breasts, finally. I wiggled my ass, just a little, back into him. I was testing the waters, feeling his cock twitch against me, his breathing got heavier and faster. He slowly caressed my breasts, at first appearing to wash them but after a minute had past and his hands still lingered, I was sure he was just enjoying them.

"I don't mind at all" I said, wanting to give him some confirmation that I was enjoying the attention to detail, I leant my head back against his chest and closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation. He let the loofa go and slid his hands around, slowly squeezing and massaging my chest. Letting his fingers glide over my nipples, which were getting harder at his touch. He intermittently pinched each one, I moaned a little, not intending to, but rather unable to controll it. His hands started to take turns at exploring more of my body.

"You're really beautiful and soft, you feel amazing" he sighed in my ear.

In a lot of ways I wanted it to stop but I also couldn't seem to say no. I was so heavily conflicted between my attraction and fear of the level of intensity. I'd always been scared of Jungkook in that way, I always felt like I'd die of thirst without his attention, but I also felt like I'd drown in the emotion attached to it. He had, and probably always would be 'The one', as stupid as that sounded. He wasn't the guy I imagined fucking without strings attached, he was so much more to me. He came with the dream of the life after, the simple life; full of laughter and light. We'd spent eight years talking online everyday, never tiring, never losing interest. He even kept calling me Cat, part of my online tag, after telling him my name years later. He was always a passing ship in the night, one of us always in a relationship, the unobtainable and that felt so safe. However, right now, we were both alone, together. Everything about him felt so right, his hands on my body, his presence, the way we fit together so well, just lying on him watching TV or even now, in the bath, it just felt so much like I was a part of him and he was a part of me.

I tensed up and he felt it, he stopped touching me instantly.

"Y/n, are you ok?" He didn't say Cat, he used my actual name not the nickname he always called me.

"I just..." I turned in the water, sitting up and slipping my legs over his to face him, "Can we do this?"

"Only if you want to?" He looked at me puzzled.

"I mean, with you? can it be casual? Isn't it always going to be more?"

"Cat, it can mean whatever you want it to, or I can stop right now if you want and I'll go get dressed. You know how I've always felt about you, but also, I respect you. It can just be fun, if that's all you want at the moment. I've never been able to do this kind of thing without the connection, but I already have that with you and nothing will ruin that. All I can think in this moment is that fucking you would feel right, for once Cat, don't overthink”

I stared at him intensely. Was he just saying what I wanted to hear? Am I going to hurt him? am I going to hurt us? This is the type of thing that's going to invoke a few days worth of reckless behaviour from me and I was well aware of my patterns.

"I really want to," I admitted "my body is screaming at me to, but, I don't want to hurt you” I was watching his face intently for any sign that this could be wrong.

"I rather be hurt 1000 times than never feel you," he put his hands back on my hips starting to pull me down onto his lap. "I need to know what it feels like to be inside you, I need to watch your perfect body bounce, I need to see your face as you feel me inch by inch, I don't care about myself right now. I need to know what it feels like to make you cum”

Fuck, he knew how to talk when he wanted to. He knew what was in my head and he knew how I felt. He also knew I wasn't going to back down now. I hated that he knew me. I couldn't help myself, I managed to lie to myself in that moment, maybe it could just be fun, maybe it wouldn't have an effect on the dynamic of our friendship.

We'd talked a lot about sex with the distance keeping us safe, some nights spent exchanging fantasies, messages and videos. I knew everything about what he wanted, the magic words that would tip the scales for him, and he knew everything about how my body worked and what I might do. We both knew I was far more experienced, him only having a few sexual partners in the past worried me, but not enough to stop me. The logical part of my brain had shut down. I needed to be the dominant one here, I needed to show him. He could talk smoother then I ever could, but I could use my body.

"Cat we don't have to- " I cut him off and grabbed his throat, I enjoyed that feeling earlier, I wanted to try it again. I pulled myself to him and kissed him deeply, his hand raised to mine in shock but he relented and kissed me back. I kneeled over him and used my other hand to stroke his hard cock under the water. His hands slid across my body, I'm not sure he knew what to do with my sudden assault on his senses. I felt him moan into my kiss as I moved my hand up and down the length of his shaft, taking my time to rub slowly around his head, feeling it twitch in response. I released my grip off his neck and used my hand to move his hands to my ass which was hovering over him, he seemed to follow the motions amazingly. I continued to stroke his cock, surprised that it was larger then I expected.

I climbed further onto him sliding the head of his cock gently up and down, from my entrance to my clit, as I kept up the motion of sliding my hand up and down his shaft. He was starting to put pressure on my hips, begging to get inside me each time I slid up and down on him. The wetness of my cunt so different to the water of the bath. I teased him with each movement as I used his dick as a toy for my own stimulation, I wanted him to force me down onto it, he seemed to yield finally, grabbing my hips properly and pulling me onto him, inch by inch. I'd been turned on for the entire bath, I felt so swollen and as he forced his way in we both gasped, breaking the passionate kiss, locked into inhaling each others breath. By the time he was fully sheathed inside of me I was almost shaking, he fit so well, I wasn't going to last long at all. I kissed him again, biting his lip and wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

I started riding him like my life depended on it, like every groan he made brought me closer to an edge I was ready to fall off a thousand times. I grinded harder against him, wanting to be so full I would never need to be fucked again, and it worked so well, up and down, him enjoying my bubble covered breasts as they bounced in his face. I felt the familiar build up of my orgasm coming on as I rode harder and faster. I gripped him tighter as my pussy clenched around his cock, unable to keep my mouth shut I let out a very audible moan of pleasure, I leant back enjoying the after shocks of my orgasm.

He seemed to be enjoying the expression on my face before he got a serious look, grabbing my hips harder then before and using my body. Jungkook was stronger than I expected, I wasn't doing any of the work anymore, just enjoying feeling him lift me and pull me back down onto him as the water splashed around us and his face started to tense.

I slid my hand back under water to rub my clit, if he was coming, I'd be damned if I wasn't going to come again with him. It wasn't hard for me to get close again, he was so focused, grunting and fucking me hard, I was loving the view, the way his arms and body tensed, the focus on his face, the way he threw his head back, moving me like I weighed nothing, grinding his hips up to mine.

I knew what would get him there, from every fantasy he'd sent me and I knew he'd fucking love it and hate it.

"You have to pull out, I'm not on birth control” I teased at him, he agreed and started going harder then before, I could feel him twitching inside me, I knew I was going to cum when he did. I wrapped my arms around him and started fucking him back again, our hips meeting. He was starting to shake, he stopped suddenly.

"I'm going to cum, I have to stop" He gasped, I knew what we both wanted to hear. I grabbed his throat again and held onto his back as tight as I could, continuing to grind against him as deeply as I could.

"Don't you fucking dare, I'm not letting go, you're going to fill me or we'll never do this again”

Jungkook’s eyes lit up with a touch of fear and excitement as he gave in, finally thrusting back knowing that I needed his seed, it only took a moment and I felt him explode inside me, shooting layer after layer of warm cum into me. My body fucking loved it, exploding into an orgasm that just kept clenching for what felt like minutes around his cock as it pulsed.

I let my grip loosen as I let my head fall against his, having an exhausted giggle, he smiled and laughed with me, wrapping his arms around my body and occasionally thrusting to see my face as we recovered our breath.

"You can't do that or I'm going to need to cum again" I breathed, trying to lift myself off him, he held me down.

"Do it” he whispered with an evil grin, I started to grind on him softly, it wasn't going to take much. He leant me back and watched me, finally using his fingers to rub my clit, as my breasts bounced freely and he met each of my thrusts again, he was watching me so intimately but I couldn't keep my eyes open. It was happening again, I gasped and held his arms tightly as I shuddered with another orgasm. He seemed so pleased with himself, kissing me again softy down my neck.

"You're mine," he whispered, moving my hair from my face.

That surprised me, but more in a way that I enjoyed. We both got out of the bath and wrapped ourselves in towels.

The bathroom was completely flooded, I giggled and bent to pick up my wet clothes. I felt his hand lift my towel at the back as I did, still bent over I looked back at him confused.

"Just admiring my work" he smiled that damn smile again, it always amazed me how confident men got after you fulfilled a fantasy. I moved into a presenting pose and let him enjoy the view of his cum dripping from my pussy for a moment, he slicked his finger up and down my slit.

"hey, no touching unless your prepared to finish the job again”

He kept going, sliding his fingers back and forth over my clit before sliding his fingers inside of me, pushing his dripping cum back in. This man was determined to make sure I couldn't think for a week.

But that's when we heard a knock at the door.

─────────. ♡ .───────────

a/n: I doubt I’m going to make a pt 2… :)

𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

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autismvampyre · 5 days

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this episode made me love kipperlilly

i think it is very important to remember that kipperlilly copperkettle is a child. she's 16 years old and being manipulated by an authority figure who she should've been able to trust

yes, she was angry and jealous and immature before allying with ankarna. but she was also a 14 year old girl with anger issues

as a person who has had anger issues my whole life and was very violent as a child, i fully feel for kipperlilly. i was literally the worst version of myself when i was 14. i was rude and mean and had shitty opinions and i hurt people. i was truly awful, like genuinely bigoted and just hateful. i'm still trying to forgive myself for some of the things i did because it wasn't fucking okay.

i got out of that headspace thanks to my friends, and i ended up losing a lot of them along the way, deservedly so. im 18 now, im better and still bettering myself, and i cannot in good conscience hate kipperlilly any more than i can hate my young self

she's a kid. she's an angry little girl who instead of getting the support and help she needed to be able to better herself(bc jawbone is not able to treat her like she deserves), she was tricked and presumably killed by jace stardiamond so that he could use her to resurrect a dead rage god. she has done truly terrible things but she is a child and isn't irredeemable.

i honestly didn't see myself in her before, because our expressions of rage are completely different(hers is more passive aggressive, im more loud and outright aggressive), but this episode made her on of my favorite npcs ever.

she's a kid, and she's wrong and immature and a total asshole who thinks she's so fucking righteous standing on her stupid fucking high horse claiming "fairness" and all that bullshit. she's so realistic and awful and i know that makes her worse to most people but to me it just makes me think of another shitty teenager who was just as bad(minus a few murders) and 100% convinced she was righteous and justified in all her horrible actions.

i love kipperlilly, and i have faith in her. if there was a chance for me there's a chance for her, and when that chance presents itself i hope she takes it

#kipperlilly copperkettle #dimension 20 fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #d20 fhjy #d20 spoilers #d20 fantasy high #nydias post #fantasy high #jace stardiamond #ankarna #the rat grinders #postig again bc it didn't show up in the tags

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scokslvoer · 1 year

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Abby Anderson x Figureskater!Reader

content warning: nothing, just a lot of fluff.

she bolts off the ice, ignoring her coaches calling her name. her face is twisted with anger and concentration and she bee-lines it to the team locker room, making quick work of unlacing her skates and taking off her gear. she had one thing, person even, in mind. you.

she packs her bag as fast as she can, bolting to the other side of the ice arena, the side where the figure skaters practiced. her face immediately relaxed seeing you, her girlfriend. she moved over to the bleachers, watching in awe as you did some fancy spin she didn't know the name of. (it was a combo spin abby duh:/)

her eyes couldnt stop themselves from running up and down your body, admiring the way your jacket and skirt hugged your body, your pretty white skates gliding across the ice with ease.

she watched the rest of your practice, having to physically stop herself from lashing out when she saw your coach yelling at you over the smallest things. she knew she would get booted out of the rink if she did yell, and she wouldnt do that, she needed a hug from her girl.

you had grabbed your skate bag, taking off across the ice and stepping off, not before putting on your guards however. you made your way to the benches, setting your stuff down and starting to unlace your skates- barely noticing the tears threatening to fall down your rosy cheeks.

as you sat up for a split second to wipe your tears, you felt someone engulfing you in a huge bear hug. abby. the one person you needed right now. "hey sweet girl. its okay, i got you, you're okay." she whispered in your ear as you sobbed into her neck.

"fuck abs she was so mad, why cant i fucking land that stupid jump! fuck, fuck, fuck!" you whimpered as you punched your fists against her chest in frustration. she kept holding you close as you cried, rubbing comforting circles on your back and whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

"its okay babes, you didnt do anything wrong, you were doing great." she cooed as she pulled your head out of her neck so she could get a good look at you. she rubbed her hands over your cheeks, using her thumbs to wipe your eyes clear of tears.

"oh baby girl, no no its okay" she mumbled, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear, and placing and gentle kiss to your lips.

you kissed her back almost immediately, needing the comfort of your girlfriend desperately. she let you go, looking you in the eyes. "im gonna untie your skates okay? you sit there and keep looking pretty." she instructed, you nodded, finding yourself slipping deeper into that fuzzy headspace you get around abby.

"deep breaths, there you go, good girl, just like that." she praised. she finished unlacing your skates and putting them away, zipping your bag when she was done.

she gave you one last hug and kiss, before taking your hand and starting to walk out of the doors leading to the parking lot.

"why don't we go get some ice cream huh? would my pretty girl like that?" she questioned. looking up to her, eyes still slightly glassy and pupils blown wide, you nodded. she smiled as she wrapped her hand around your waist, holding you close as you walked to her car, excited for some froyo after the bad practice you had.

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby x reader #emyviwrites #figure skater #hockey!abby #skater!reader #sapphic #abby anderson x fem!reader

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anxiousdemifaemess · 10 months

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mmmm having thoughts about kfam again. bc the show is AWFUL and so so so bigoted in so many ways- BUT. it had potential.

and when i was 20 and depressed and couldn't do the usual things i did for serotonin bc i didnt have glasses, i listened to every podcast that sounded vaguely interesting. and bc i was 20 with conservative parents and living with them, i didnt know a whole lot of the red flags- i just knew that this show was making me feel happy in a way that was really difficult otherwise.

and a year or so later, i went back to it in a better headspace, with more understanding, and i was appalled. things that were mildly uncomfortable before were now making me physically recoil, jokes i didnt understand were now in stark relief, and i was so upset.

because i had loved this show- and i hadnt noticed any of this before. sure, things had made me uncomfortable, but lots of things made me uncomfortable! my dad would say things REGULARLY that made me uncomfortable! but i now had the context of "this is uncomfortable because-" and it was awful. because i still saw the potential it had, and now i could never look at it the same way or look only at the surface of it.

kfam could have been great- there was a fascinating narrative to muck around with, an interesting setting, and ive always loved hearing a story told this way. but a story with this much bigotry baked into its bones- i cant ever interact with it the same way.

i will always want to know how this story would have gone, and what it could have been, but at this point the only reason i dont set it on the shelf of shame with harry potter is because- to my knowledge- the creators do not openly support bigoted laws and legislature and hate groups. and maybe im wrong and they do, and i will gladly put it on the shelf of shame if someone would tell me.

but i will always mourn the potential of this show, because as a storyteller i desperately wanted to see it flourish.

#rambling #kfam #king falls am #kfam criticism

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bropunzeling · 3 months

Note

Since you say you love to chatter, I hope you don't mind being asked a few questions :)

what's a scene/detail/piece of dialogue etc that you really wanted to include in [fic of your choice], but you couldn't find room for? here's your chance!

if you had to write an epilogue (or sequel!) to any of your fics (that you are NOT currently planning on writing an epilogue for), which would it be and what would happen?

for the ships you're currently writing about (and have written for in general), is there usually one character you like more than the other? (will you tell us who? has it ever changed?)

what's a ship/fic idea you want to read about but don't want to write yourself? maybe somebody will be inspired!

share anything you'd like about a wip!

aw thank you anon! especially for the opportunity to procrastinate on working on my current wip :) answers under the cut:

some dialogue that i ultimately cut from the spain scene in marriage bets where they were having tapas (originally there was going to be ALL this flirting over the tapas and then it went on too long so i got straight to the questions):

"You're not going to eat that?" "Hey, I tried it." "You're so American." "It's the texture--" "Such a wimp." "I'm sure plenty of people aren't into eating octopus." "Uh-huh."

if i had to write an epilogue or sequel:

oh gosh. i think a lot about the one where marriage bets matthew and leon get married for real for real, with suits and their families present and everything. it WOULD involve matthew finally telling brady that he was not, in fact, the first tkachuk to get married. the other one i think about is, of course, rat baby in a cup. she reigns eternal.

is there a character in a ship that i like more than the other?

i think it's hard for me to enjoy a ship where i don't actually like one side of it! that said, there are definitely characters where i find it much easier to get into their headspace than others. i've probably said this before, but leon is such a straight line thinker and so easy for me to get that for a long time it was hard for me to try and write anything from matthew pov because his is a little more twisty-turny. they're both equally complex! but it requires different skills to get the effect i want, which is normally the pov character not having a clue what the other one is thinking. it's a lot easier to have leon misreading matthew than the other way around. except now of course i've written a lot from matthew pov so finding my way back to leon pov has been a challenge.

a ship/fic i want to read but don't want to write:

god what DON'T i want to read. lmao. i would love for someone to write a good achy jamie/trevor post-trade fic. i would love for someone to write a long slow friends-to-lovers matthew/sasha fic! i would REALLY love a brady/quinn future fic. especially if it features divorced brady. i feel like future fic especially is a trope/concept that i just feel less comfortable writing so whenever someone else writes it i eat it up with a spoon :)

share anything you like about a wip:

well the wip is going SO SLOW and is VERY HARD for me because im challenging myself by writing a slow burn and cant rely on sex scenes to do the chemistry work for me this time rip rip. but here is a wee snippet:

“Draisaitl. Tkachuk,” Coach says, gesturing at the starting line.

Leon gets ready, bracing his stick over his thighs. He’s already raced Jordan and Gourde—beat Jordan, beat Gourde—but he hasn’t had to go against Tkachuk yet. Hasn’t had to do much of anything with Tkachuk yet. Yesterday they were at the other end of the line from each other, or opposite sides of the rink. It had lulled Leon into a false sense of security.

Now, though, Tkachuk is watching him with that way that he has, like—

One time, while making kebabs, Leon got a splinter from the bamboo skewer under his nail. It hurt like a bitch, had him cursing for five minutes until Jenna told him to stop squirming and tweezed it out. The splinter had been miniscule, almost impossible to see, and Leon had wondered how something so tiny could be so aggravating and painful, would make him do anything just to get it to stop.

That’s how it feels when Tkachuk looks at him. How it’s always felt. Like his gaze is digging in under Leon’s skin, until Leon’s entire body is red and inflamed. It makes Leon want to scratch at his shoulders, his chest, until he can finally tear Tkachuk out.

#ask #thank u anon! very sweet to let me ramble to you

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inconspicouslurker · 7 months

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Odalia isn't a 2 dimensional evil villain

Hot take: Odalia isn't as awful as the fandom makes her. Hopefully I won't get too much hate because I'm sensitive.

Don't get me wrong, she terrible but she she not heartless or evil for the sake of evil. She not two dimensional as the fanbase makes her. She not punting a puppy into the boiling sea and watching it suffer while cackling maniacally. She not out to torture her own family for funsies. She in fact, love her family...she was just terrible toxic and blinded by her need of control. She does make her family miserable but she does it so they can achieve a goal she had set thinking its whats is best.

Look as Odalia traits. In my last post, (cue a copy and paste) She very intuitive which is why she a great oracle. She acts like a know it all because of it, but within reason, she is usually right about things. Because of this, she thinks her opinion is the only right opinion and there's very little variety from that. If something goes wrong she thinks its because no one listened to her.

She also a very driven, goal oriented. Boy, does she have goals! She is very much a "ends justify the means"

Another trait, and her oracle skill encourages this, is she plans ahead. In fact, that's all she does. She is constantly looking ahead, to ensure her family and business is ahead of the game. She rarely in the now.

She shown to be very involve in her family. She notice Amity forgot her lunch and sent the twins to give it to her, she in the Parent Creature Association. The Blight children biggest grips is Odalia being too involved and being controlling because of it.

Let's get into her headspace. Odalia is use to being right about things so when she planned things for her children, it was for their best interest (she believes). Despite them protesting and not desiring whatever it is. She so busy looking to their future she not looking at their needs and desire now. They are kids, they don't know better...but Odaila does. She older, wiser, experienced and rarely wrong. They will thank her when they are older when they are successful adults. They may be miserable now, but who isn't happy once they become successful? Which they will be later, as long as they listen to her. The end justify the means.

She may even grew up in a very similar way. She turn out alright, even better! Look at her now! she living the life, successful, beautiful, she has it all. She can do the same for her own children but even better.

She still a terrible and toxic mother. Im sure she give many back hand handed compliments. for example: "Emira, you are so beautiful, its a shame your pimples distracts the eyes that they become the main focus." She also critique her children for a way for them to improve themselves but she is overly critical when she do so. Her 'helpful' advice just comes out as criticism. Which leads to her children identity issues and strive for perfection, even if it means hiding themselves in concealment stones. As Odaila places emphasis are making good appearances to make good impressions and keeping the Blights in a positive image of status. She did want what's she thought best for the family. Again, she rarely wrong. how can she possibly be wrong about this? Nearly everything she done it was for the family. Which in turn. she benefits greatly from as it also boost her image and status more. It's a win-win for her.

I'm not saying she did it for them as for an example, a parent painfully endured a children concert of whatever the child obsessed with at the current moment to make them happy. No. she the catalyst of having her children endure what she thinks is best for them. Like how a parent force their children to learn an instrument and practice, practice, practice! But its not an instrument she making them endure but things she believe would benefit them later. Amity will thank her later in life when she get to keep all schools of magic when she joins the emperor coven.

All this makes Odalia look good and furthering her family higher in status. Status is Odalia personal desire. She money hungry but I think that's because it easier to raise status when your filthy rich and its a way how inconveniences can be pay away.

Isn't it so wonderful Odalia can reach her dream while bettering her children's lives?

Then theres a Day of Unity. I have no reasonable explanation why Belos would include her. The only thing I can think up was, She very intuitive and with the large shipment she knew something was up. Somehow Belos knew and they had a meeting.

If anyone has headcanon on how or why Belos included Odalia, I would love to hear it.

I have to have another watch, but I found it odd that the whole Isle had to be at the head for the Day of Unity and not celebrating in the streets at their homes. I think the spell to work effectively, needed witches to close distance to the conduit. Which, Belos needed the abomtrons to entrap them.

So Belos manipulated Odalia. He good at telling people what they want to hear. I'm pretty sure he told Odalia point blank, a lot of witches will die during the Day of Unity but only the worthy and the faithful to the Titan will survive. It's the Titan will. You don't want to go against his will do you?" Essentially trapping her to keep the secret. It worked. She was terrified She has to stay silent, if she spoke of it, she unworth and unfaithful which would mark her for death. But Belos still can't chance her if she risk being brave by telling people that would start an uprising. So he promise her all something she always desired if she stay quiet. Higher status. What higher than being royalty of the new world of the faithful and worthy?

Belos also plan may extended that knows Luz affections for Amity. Luz being a weird wild card to that might ruin his plan, so he may implied to Odalia he wanted her to home imprisonment Amity so Luz would go to her and away from the skull. It's a bit of a stretch but it can sort of work. It explains the gaslight Odalia did in that episode. I'm sure she regularly gaslights but that seemed a bit excessive to me.

So Odalia kept silent, fulfilling the Titan will. She'll sacrifice the whole damn isle to ensure her family safety. The end justify the means. Plus she'll get a nice crown, what a nice bonus for keeping a secret.

It's ironic that Odalia the oracle could be so blinded to everything she held dear. Including her own actions and the immediate effects. But the end justify the means, the means of her perception on how things should be and the way to achieve them. She never once foreseen or thought the means would go against her and veer into a different end. Why would they? Her end is the correct one...it's what's best. She's always right? right?

She doesn't realize her opinion isn't always the right and/or only opinion. It cost her everything. She still doesn't believe she wrong and her family turning their backs on her, after EVERYTHING she done for them. It was a slap in the face. What a bunch of ingrates! They should apologize to her. In her mind, Alador betrayed her destroying their life work and leaving their partnership. The kids shunning her. Odalia believes she did nothing wrong, all the hardship she force them to endure would have payed off if they just waited a little longer! Then her family realize it was all worth it and thank her for her wise foresight.

After her separation of the family, she will judge her family from a distance. Scoff when they seem to struggle. They should have listen to her. But over the years, she see that they are happy...thriving. Maybe not thriving in fortune sense, but just in life. After some time...a lot longer than is should have, and replaying her memories as she reflects about her currently life, i'm sure are a lot of screaming, scoulding, yelling matches after the Day of Unity and they took separate ways, in retrospect can see some of family points about her and her...mistakes. She start to feel a pang of remorse. She won't apologise...not until years has passed. Not like 2-3 years, im talking...10-15 years she try to make contact and apologise.

I think, surprisingly she'll miss and feel bad about Alador the most. He pledge and gave his life and everything to her. He was so damn loyal to her to a fault that her misuse of her family made him snap that unwavering loyalty and that oh so important word of a Blight he gave her for 30 years. While everyone was hurt and sad and a slew of negative emotion about the situation, the children was fueled more by anger. Alador gave her his own choice angry and hurt words, but he just looked so heartbroken in the end.

I realize people may wonder at this point... after the Day of Unity...how can she think she not wrong? She was a victim of the spell too...surly she must know she was wrong! Remember earlier I mention "If something goes wrong she thinks its because no one listened to her." Guess what? Alador and Amity didn't listen to her and they ran off. It doomed her and partner. She also may consider she doomed herself by going against the Titan wishes by admitting what she knew to them before the family battle.

So that's my take on Odalia. I think she more dimensional then the fan makes her. I know its so easy for people to just make her a flat evil villain. She is a manipulative, terrible abuser. I don't think she realizing she abusing. She knows she being underhanded but I think she thinks the word "abuse" is too far and exaggerating. As I mention, she may grew up similar so this is just "normal parenting" from her own childhood observation.

I also have no doubt in my mind she intentionally cruel and cutthroat to people not her family or a threat to business as a prevention. She'll act in more subtle ways within the the law so there's no repercussion. But She has discreetly work outside of it and leaves no proof. It be poor form and bad image if she did.

But as for family, she doesn't have ill intentions. Just terribly and horribly misguided under her own accord. She not intending to make her family miserable, for the pleasure of it. She just ends up making them miserable by a means to achieve a goal she believe is best for the family. Not saying she gets a pass for her abuse. Just she has more depth then the fanbase paint her as evil incarnate.

If you use my headcanon for fic or art, I'll appreciate a shout out. I'm hoping to incorporate my headcanon into my own fic. Particularly the Belos bit, and Odalia feeling betrayed by her family while feeling she didn't do much wrong to warrant it.

#toh odalia #odalia blight #the owl house odalia #toh headcanon #owl house #toh #emira blight #alador blight #amity blight #edric blight #alador

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lovelyheartclover · 4 months

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I dont know if this post will reach any of my mutuals or not but I just want to tell my mutuals that Im sorry for not talking to you guys that much despite even saying or promising some of you guys that we would chat more once I started winter break....but I didn't think the holiday season would bring me down this much.....

I barely have the motivation to respond to asks or dms right now and I feel like an awful friend because of that.

Im too tired right now to really interact or chat at all and im so sorry for the inconvenience, im just not happy right now and in the best headspace atm.

#Clover's text #mutuals 💌💌💌#tw vent #vent #important #/neg #negative

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froggymarsh · 20 days

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what if i was emotionally vulnerable through fanfiction using one of the guys who lives in my brain haha jk. unless

(idk how to tag this. plural confusion/questioning i guess? conflicting sfw and nsfw headspaces? I FORGOT TO MENTION SUICIDE IDEATION IM SO SORRY, it’s just one line near the end but it jumps out at u surprise, sorry. there is nothing graphic and also swearing)

Joel is having an accident before he even touches down.

His shoes scuff on the pavement- he almost trips but doesn’t, (skillful flying, says prideful joel. complete and absolute luck, retorts editor joel- shut up, editor joel), and he rushes off on unsteady legs.

He isn’t going to make it, he knows, but he holds himself anyway and hurries up the street. Each pounding step jostles his bladder more.

“Stop,” he pants, “stop, no, no no no no-”

He ducks into a side alley as the stream properly starts. He soaks through his underwear, his pants, knees pressed together, elytra crushed between his back and the wall as he slumps against it. He can feel it rushing out of him as he holds himself, warm and wet and awful, awful, awful. His eyes clench shut as he makes a mess, as if puddles beneath him, soaking shoes, socks, pants-

He didn’t mean to do that.

(Would it have felt better if he did?)

“Stop,” he says aloud, voice bouncing up the walls of the alleyway. He’s uncomfortably wet, his pants squishing as he shifts, knees pressed together. He opens his eyes but stares upwards at the curved roofs of his city, wondering if the accident will go away if he ignores it.

(That’s never the case, though, is it? You’ll have to live with your mistakes, forever, no matter how childish or stupid or painful they may be- shut up, editor Joel.)

With tears in his eyes and one flick of his hand, he opens chats, spots a few other online hermits. He’s breathing heavier than he’d ever admit, and typing before he can consider what he’s doing.

<Smallishbeans> hgekelp plkdeasee

<Grian> yeah buddy?

<Iskall85> whats wrong yoel?

<Etho> you at your city?

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

He puts a palm on six-year-old Joel’s forehead and shoves him away from the front- (it’s fine the kid isn’t real- you hurt me, that hurt! meanie!- he isn’t real-)

<Smallishbeans> skory

<Smallishbeans> sorry

<Smallishbeans> disregard that

<Smallishbeans> im fine

<Etho> youre at your city right?

<Smallishbeans> no

<Smallishbeans> im okay

He closes chat. He’s shaking. He’s wet. He’s uncomfortable. Six-year-old Joel pouts at him and opens chat again.

<Etho> if you say so

Joel swallows a whine. He isn’t six. He isn’t six. He is thirty years old. He is not six-

He freezes. Chat closes in a blip. Etho’s landed on the street beside him, about to begin a search, (he doesn’t know whether to be grateful or to cry), but they lock eyes instead.

Etho’s eyes flick down. Joel chokes out a sob. Wishes he didn’t. Wishes he wasn’t real.

Etho pads closer. Quiet as always. He crouches when Joel squirms and looks away. Doesn’t say anything until Joel meets his eyes again.

“Bun?” Etho questions, voice gentle, words slow. Joel hates that Jimmy called him that in front of the hermits- now they can make him small using one word and he hates it. “You okay?”

Part of him seizes the nickname, holding on tight, a buoy in a storming ocean. Another wave of tears cascades down his face. He wants to wipe them away. He can’t. It’s gross. He’s gross. (He hates the part of himself that wants to make out with Etho right now.)

“Don’t call me that,” he mutters, (pleads. gods, Etho, make it okay, call him bun again, please). “I’m okay.”

Etho nods. Adjusts his mask. “Do you want me to help?”

I want you to leave, screams his head. I want you to make it better, whines six-year-old joel. What would you think of me, if you had seen that? What would you have don-?

Joel shrugs.

“I can go.”

“Don’t go.”

“Okay,” he says. “Want to clean up?”

He takes in a long, stammering breath.

“Yeah? Yeah. Please.”

“Touch okay?”

“No.”

Etho nods, easily enough. He turns to lead the way, back to Joel’s house, his room, his clean clothes-

Joel takes a deep, deep breath. Then pushes himself off the wall and trails behind Etho with tears in his eyes and shame hanging over his every move.

He’s squishing. He’s wet. He’s awful, awful, awful. He said no to touch, but he reaches out anyway, desperate for (something, anything)-

His fingers grip the back of Etho’s vest. Etho doesn’t turn back, just offers his hand, squeezes once when Joel takes it. Doesn’t say anything. (Says a million things, maybe. Joel doesn’t know what he wants to hear right now.)

They make it inside, upstairs. To closets to pick new clothes (wolf pajamas, thanks six-year-old Joel), to the bath to check temperatures. Etho doesn’t talk, neither does Joel. He holds his hand the entire time.

Etho turns to him, suddenly pausing, a hint of red peeking out over the mask on his face. He looks from Joel’s face, down to his pants, then back up again. To the running water of the bath. Out the window. He closes the curtains. Looks back to Joel, down and up again.

“Can I do it?” Joel mumbles.

“Of course,” Etho answers. Neither let go.

Joel shrinks. “Don’t want you to see.”

He squeezes his hand. “I’ll wait outside.”

He shrinks further. “Didn’t want you to see.”

A pause. Etho’s thumb glides over his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Joel sniffles.

“Want you to stay.”

“I’ll be outside,” he says, thumb gliding, rubbing, what have you. “Close enough?”

A pause. Joel sniffles.

“Close enough.”

Etho squeezes again before letting go.

Joel stands alone (alone? is he ever alone? he’s always alone) in the bathroom for longer than he’d ever admit. It’s a struggle to get his pants off, embarrassment, shame, relief, (excitement? fuck off) well up in overwhelming amounts.

The bath is as long as he can stand it. His pajamas are soft. He wonders if he should put a diaper on. All he has are boxers. (He wishes he had diapers. He wishes he would die.)

He steps around his wet things left on the floor. The pajamas are childish, too big- the most comfortable thing he owns. He avoids the mirror, covering his face with a towel and pretends he’s drying his hair.

He finds Etho in his living room, leafing through an obnoxiously bright magazine that he surely doesn’t understand a word of.

He spots Joel, eyes crinkling warmly as he sets the magazine aside and opens his arms in invitation.

Six-year-old Joel perks up, phantom tail wagging. They hang up their towel and rush into his arms, curling up tight.

Thirty year old Joel lays his head on Etho’s shoulder and wonders why the fuck he just did that.

“Hey bun,” Etho tries again, tone as gentle as his hold. “You okay?”

“Don’t call me that,” Joel mumbles. Six-year-old Joel whines in protest.

“Sorry.” it’s genuine. Joel wants to explode. “Is touching too much?”

“Yes,” Joel answers, clinging tighter.

Etho keeps a tentative hold on him, his tone light but confused, “I’m getting mixed signals here, Joel.”

“Sorry.” he presses closer, hiding his face. (Little Joel is going to make them cry again. He can’t tell if it’s happy or sad.) “Mm sorry I’m making you uncomfortable.”

“You’re not,” he answers, holds tighter, “I’ve got you.”

#froggy drabbles #diap stuff #me when this is exactly like every fic ive ever written but also none of them and ive never written this before #haha. anyways.#not where i wanted that to end? only half touches on what i wanted it to?#this has been writing with froggy. might redo this later

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