#why show your emotions when you can stew in a pit of despair | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catgrump · 3 years

Note

okay hello! im the anon who asked for the "hold still" request with byakuya!! i meant like byakuya x reader if that makes sense. thank you,,!

YES Byakuya/Reader is fine and acceptable!

Here we go: time for some good ol Non Despair AU

🌻🌻🌻

“Hold still,” you flinched again, doing your best to adjust your body back to where it was after Byakuya barked the order at you

“Sorry, Byakuya,” you apologized, knowing full-well why it was so difficult for you to stay in place.

Your nerves have been on edge for the past half hour as you sat in Byakuya’s room and watched him try to hide his struggle behind a drawing pad on an easel.

You and Byakuya were paired up for an assignment in your Fine Art Class: portraits of the other.

Byakuya is always so confident with everything he does, but sitting in silence, only having one person to look at, you’ve been able to tell he’s having trouble keeping up the facade

“Byakuya?” You dare to ask

“What.”

“Any, uh,” you fidgeted with the fabric of clothes on your legs subtly, trying not to get out of your pose, “any idea when you’ll be ready to switch? I uh, have an assignment, too—“

“You can’t rush perfection, Y/N,” he scowled, “It takes time to create a true-to-life portrait.”

And then he started mumbling through gritted teeth as his gaze went back to the canvas, “IjusthopeIcandoyoujustice—“

“What was that?”

“I didn’t say anything,” he sternly insisted

He was biting his lip as he continued to work. His strokes with the pencils were so sporadically different— sometimes they were tiny and quick, then they were grand and loose— and it was difficult for you to figure out what part of you he was drawing at any given time.

He causes a weird stew of emotions to brew inside you. He’s stubborn and blunt and brash and a complete snob, but for some reason you’re looking for any excuse to be in the same room as him.

As his face contorts while he concentrates, you can’t help but smile. It’s a combination of satisfying and sweet to see him actually TRY at something. Life seems to be so effortless for him from your perspective, so seeing him clearly putting in effort is oddly gratifying.

“Hold that face,” instinctively, your face changed to show your surprise as Byakuya suddenly gave a new command, pointing his free hand toward you, “I’m drawing you like that— change back.”

“Change back?”

“Smile again, you dullard.”

“Dullard?”

“... sorry, Y/N. I just,” he paused for a moment, “I know the portrait will be improved if you’re smiling.”

“You think so?”

“You doubt me?”

“Uh, n-no, sorry.”

Silence. He didn’t go back to drawing; he just sat there, looking at you. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to smile for me?”

You felt heat creep to your face. His voice was smooth, like running your fingers across silk. You had to clench your first to resist shuddering. “Y-you can’t just ask someone to smile and expect it to look natural,” you nervously informed him

“Well,” he tilted his head and bit his lip again... but it was different this time. It felt intentional, “How do you suggest I get that smile from you?”

How the hell are you supposed to answer that? You fumbled with your words for a bit before he spoke again, apparently not needing an answer from you, “Perhaps,” he smirked, then seemed to change his mind about something, “No, I’m sure you already know you’re attractive; I don’t need to tell you that. Hm.”

He continued to think as you processed his words. Did he just call you attractive? Does he think you’re good looking? The grip on the fabric of your clothes tightened as your face became hot and your palms started to sweat.

And then he looked back at you, his smirk suddenly smug, “Oh, that’s a reaction I didn’t expect. Do you not know? Pitiful.”

“Excuse me?” You could suddenly speak again

“Someone like you? I’d just assume you can look in the mirror and know you’re attractive. Is that not obvious?”

“What does that mean?” Your heart was beating like a drum at a rock concert

“I’m just stating a fact,” how can he be so nonchalant about that? “Well, as much as I want to document your smile, drawing you flustered like this may be more entertaining.”

“N-no, Byakuya; that’s not necessary,” you reached your hands out, knowing full well you can’t physically reach him, “I’ll smile again, okay?”

Oh now he looks pleased. That puts a pit in your stomach. “Oh, no, Y/N; I’ve made my decision,” he quickly went back to his sporadic drawing, “The piece is almost complete now that inspiration has struck.”

You absolutely do not want everyone in your art class to see you like this. You do not want to imagine what people would say if they found out what you look like when Byakuya (presumably) compliments you. You get up from the chair and start over toward him, pleading “Byakuya, please, come on; this isn’t funny,” while he overlaps you with, “it’s not my fault I had a burst of inspiration; everyone is going to marvel at this, I’m sure of it!”

And then you stop dead in your tracks when you take hold of his wrist to move his pencil off the paper, finally seeing what he’s been drawing.

You tighten your lips and your free hand covers your mouth. A laugh snorts out of you and you’re repressing more laughter from spilling between your fingers.

It isn’t good. The proportions are mismatched, and the facial features are spread out in places they wouldn’t ever be on a human being. The hair resembles plant life more than real follicles. The lines of your clothes are blocky and choppy, as if you were made of paper.

“Stunned into silence by a true masterpiece, I assume?” Is he joking? Is this a bit? This has to be a bit, right?

He looked up at you and was smiling. Oh no, he’s serious. Oh dear. Your eyes went wide and you grit your teeth before taking a breath. “You, uh... you certainly put in a lot of effort, Byakuya.”

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#danganronpa #danganronpa fanfiction #danganronpa fanfic #danganronpa fic #byakuya x reader #danganronpa byakuya #byakuya togami #dr byakuya #dr trigger happy havoc #danganronpa trigger happy havoc #trigger happy havoc

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may85 · 5 years

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Request: depression anon from before. You don't have to write about this if you're uncomfortable, but can I request Arthur with a gender neutral reader who doesn't like being touched as much as others do because of past experiences? No smut please. They don't feel deserving of his affection and maybe like they're hurting him, since they feel 'incomplete'. Arthur tries to show them that it isn't true.

Pairing: Gender Neutral!Reader x Arthur Morgan

Game: Red Dead Redemption 2

Word Count: 856

Warnings: Depression

Photo: Found on Google

Groaning, you slapped the damn mosquito that had landed on your neck. Damn Shady Belle, damn swamp, damn Micha, just damn everyone. You were just in that mood and it happened to be that you were in it quite a bit lately.

To top it off, you've been getting into it with Arthur lately. You hadn't meant to, but things just escalating and when that would happen, anxiety, panic and full on depression would set in.

You knew how it was when you joined the gang. Nothing was ever fully kosher. With the good, always came the bad and you were always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Past experiences had made this a constant reminder to you… never get too comfortable.

You heard Arthur greet others a gruff good morning as he walked over to the stew pot and percolator. Your cheeks heated when he caught you staring at him, but you didn't look away and neither did he.

Each sip of his coffee, his eyes were trained on you from over the rim. Each time someone walked by, a grunt in acknowledgement or a nod, but he never looked away.

Just as you were about to walk over and clear the air, you thought of the last argument you'd had and boy was it stupid.

Micah had said something out of the way, the normal for a bastard like him. It was along the lines of Arthur and Mary getting cozy, which was not true at all. You knew better, hell, everyone else knew it. Arthur was crazy about you and you for him, but there went your deepest, darkest memories echoing in your mind.

That led to you becoming distant, not wanting to be touched or even looked at out of the person's peripheral.

As Arthur continued to stare, you sighed. You couldn't do this… maybe it would be better if you just left.

Going back into your tent, you packed a bag and quickly threw it over your shoulder, ready to make an escape, even if just for a few days. Maybe then you'd have a clearer head and this nasty pit of despair would vanish.

His eyes burned a hole into you as you mounted your horse. Grabbing the reins, you snapped them, “Go, go, go!” Your horse took off in a fast gallop, sensing your pent up emotions.

°°°°°°

Later that evening, with your tent pitched, your horse hitched, your rabbit on the mini grill and the coffee percolating, you brooded over the fact that you had been so hasty to take off.

Maybe it would have been easier to stay back and actually talk to Arthur… maybe you shouldn't be so damn sensitive… maybe you could enjoy the happiness of being in Arthur's arms without the anxieties coursing through your veins… maybe, maybe, maybe.

“I'm such an idiot!” you cursed yourself, poking a the logs at the fire.

“No, you ain't,”

Arthur's husky voice had you up on your feet, your eyes wide.

He had his thumbs hooked onto his belt as he advanced towards you; his steps slow and steady.

You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly dry, “Just… just go back to camp! Or better yet… go back to Mary,”

There. Maybe if you were harsh he'd get the message and find someone worthy.

He squinted his eyes, but not before you saw the hurt, “Now why would you go and say some nonsense like that?”

You looked around, your eyes finally focusing on the fire while your shoulders dropped, “B-because I-”

“You what, Darlin’?” he reached out to touch you.

Out of pure instinct you flinched, stepping two feet from him. Arthur held his hands out in surrender.

While you rubbed your arm, you took a good look at him. He looked worried.

“Because I don't deserve you,” you finished dejectedly.

“Awww, Honey,” he cooed.

His spurs clinked with each step until he was next to you again. Thankfully, he didn't touch you. You still felt overloaded.

“Y/N, sweetheart,” he started, “You mean the world to me and there is nothin’ that could ever take that away. You hear me?”

You could feel a couple of tears run down your cheeks. God, you wanted to believe him.

“Come sit down and talk with me? Let me help,”

It was a fly away hair that he tried to put back in place when you finally let him touch you. It took some time, but eventually you told him of your insecurities and he told you his. It was something that you'd both had to work on.

Once you'd talked it out, both shed your tears and were looking up at the stars, you reached over and threaded your fingers through Arthur's.

“I love you, Arthur.. and I'm sorry.”

You felt him take your hand and bring it to lips, where he placed a few kisses upon it, “I love you too, Darlin’. Here on out, I got your back. No matter what,”

For once, in a long, long time, you felt as though all the stars had aligned and things were going to be alright.

#arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan imagine #may85 writes

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