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queen-mabs-revenge · 6 years

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OK so here’s my @watchingfairytales Ep 1-8 “””write up”””:

Man, shit’s hard, but this is so enjoyable.

So the thing I’m really trying to do with this rewatch is stop and question every time I get a conditioned emotional response. By that I mean, there are certain truths that each section of the fandom has come up with in order to justify/condemn certain things/characters according to the desired outcome in relation to that section’s faves. As someone entrenched in the Hooker/CS side of things, of course that resulted in a lot of animosity towards Regina and Rumple, some justified, some not. But I think a lot of times, every single thing was pitched to make the two of them The Worst Of All Time, and I know this has happened in other corners of the fandom with regards respective antagonists.

So rewatching, I’ve had to take my head out of that space by asking certain questions over and over again:

“Am I feeling this because of fanon or canon?” being a huge one.

“Am I applying real-world rules to the narrative instead of viewing actions with the in-show framework?” which I think has some overlapping qualities with the first question. And again, kind of a reworking of both of these:

“Am I choosing to see this action/person negatively in order to overly-exonerate my fave?”

“Am I holding this character to different standards than I do my favourite?”

So for example, I just finished 1x08, and while I don’t remember having a particularly negative reaction to Rumpelstiltskin in this episode on first watch (before Milah and Killian were introduced, that is), I know that if I were to have come at this post S6, I would have made efforts to find every possible way to drag him, or use every one of his choices to show how morally bankrupt he is at a base level. He burnt down the duke’s castle, people lived there and COULD HAVE DIED -- which, fair, that’s true in a sense, but I think that I have to ask myself the second question in relation to that opinion.

Am I applying real-world rules to the narrative instead of viewing actions with the in-show framework? A bit, yeah. I’ve created a score of imaginary victims that probably would have been there if the castle were a real one to take the focus away from the moral dilemma that the show is actually asking about Rumplestiltskin in relation to the episode’s themes: What does one place one’s trust in at the point of desperation?

And so I’m missing the forest for the trees by creating a conflict that isn’t really there, and that’s something that takes away from my enjoyment of the character and the show because I’m so intent on villifing every action that the antagonist-to-my-fave is doing. (Which, super different reaction to him in this episode than to 1.04, but that’s for a different meta because oh yikes that’s even worse now after 5.14) Which in turn robs me of the real guttural conflict that’s going on because I’m too busy being hung up on invented nitpickery?

And I know that would have been the case because the fourth question then comes into play. Am I holding this character to different standards than I do my fave? ...Yep. I’m not even going to go into the S4 Evil Hand thing with Killian and Rumple, nope. I’m gonna put my own problematic fave on the line rn: Liam Jones.

A person in a position of complete lack of power left to care for their only remaining family in a situation of economic poverty, social poverty, and the poverty of choice. That person is faced with a crisis situation in which the child they love and care for is in a situation of mortal peril. They might be able to solve the problem themselves, but the chances are slim to none. Instead they’re approached by a person who offers them a magically guaranteed solution -- the power to 100% assure that their child will be safe. It might require a bit of light murder, but only of people who had been the ones to take away the person’s choice and safety in the first place. The person takes the power to guarantee their child’s safety at the peril of others and attempts then to live a life with the child that the safety of that choice afforded.

Yep, if I can see all of that for Liam, I sure as hell better be able to see that for Rumple, and if I can’t? Then I have to ask myself why. And there might be a valid reason for those feelings (writing reasons, character trajectory within the show, etc.), but if I don’t acknowledge the disparity and ask myself the question, then it’s just running off of what I think is probably that ol’ fandom anxiety chestnut: I have to defend everything that remotely relates to my fave in a way that puts them on top in the morality olympics.

I’ve been finding it harder with Regina, but I think that’s because of two factors: one, the narrative in this season is definitely placing her as the main antagonist -- Rumple is manipulative and quietly terrifying, but the whole Regina/Henry/Emma is the main source of conflict in the show so far, and so the harm that Regina is causing is more up front and palpable. And also, she genuinely does mental harm, intentional and unintentional, to Henry in favour of preserving the world she’s created.

However, the thing that’s helping me, again, is that fourth question. And while in this case it’s not the exact same, because if you ask me I will tell you time and time again: the worst thing that Killian ever did as Hook was what he did to Bae -- he put his own hurt above the wellbeing of his child. But yeah, that’s the point isn’t it? I can look at Killian and say, he did something atrocious there -- he harmed and betrayed Bae because he was angry, hurt, insecure, and immature.

So yeah, this is emphasised to the nth degree here with Regal Believer because it’s a whole season instead of an episode and a half, but I feel like if I’m going to be fair to Regina, I’ve got to think in the same way. Yeah, she is trying to obscure Henry from the truth, and that in turn is causing him harm, but I think I can see a lot more this time around that it’s coming from this place of love, for also from a place of desperation.

Knowing what I know about Regina from all seven seasons, I do know that she has a great capacity for love, but that from the moment she was born, she was always put into a position of being valued not for herself, but for her value to a person’s needs and agenda, namely Cora’s. So you see it put into her head that she herself is not enough. She’s valuable as a bargaining chip to Cora’s security in power; she’s valuable as a mother figure to someone’s child, not as a person to love and be loved on her own; she’s valuable as a tool to be shaped to trigger a curse. And you see the foil for that in Henry Sr. and Snow, two people who I think genuinely did want her safety and happiness but who were weaker than the devaluing forces in her life, and therefore who were easier as targets of her frustration, anger and powerlessness.

So then you have Henry, who she sought to fill that hole in her heart left by killing one, and alienating another of those two people, and she’s left trying to love him, but always governed by this fear and desperation that her love isn’t enough -- she’s been given this idea that people in power don’t think she’s valuable in and over herself, that her love isn’t enough because she doesn’t have that kind of value.

She has to be useful to Henry’s needs to be worthy of him, and the thing he needs right now is honesty and that’s something she can’t give him. So she’s lashing out at anything that can jeopardise the delicate and jagged “perfect” she’s created in harmful ways. And that’s the fixation on Emma, even in situations where she’s not involved -- the whole Graham situation really drove that home for me. During the ‘break-up’ scene in front of the vault, Graham continuously says that it has nothing to do with Emma, that he’s not leaving Regina to be with Emma, but Regina keeps bringing it back to Emma. Emma is the physical representation of her not being enough for Henry. Henry needs honesty and trustworthiness, and because Regina cannot be useful to him in that way, she needs to strip Emma’s honesty and trustworthiness so that she’s no longer a useful tool for that need. And it comes from that place of anger, hurt, insecurity and immaturity.

And that’s narratively OK. It’s OK to both understand the reasons why someone might be doing something and to know what they’re doing is wrong. It’s OK to understand that she is wronging Henry right now - she’s betraying him and prioritising her own hurt above his well-being and just as it’s OK to acknowledge that for other character and not bar them from future happiness, it’s OK to do that for Regina, too.

It’s OK for her to be approaching the concept of love without utility in an immature state right now because that’s interesting and means that there’s a place to go from here. The questions that arise later on in the series, is whether the writing satisfies the journey that’s set up -- and that’s true for any and all of the characters.

Umm…. so that’s where I’m at right now? How I’m approaching this rewatch I guess? Basically I want to love all the characters like I love my favourite ones -- “you idiot child please think for .2 seconds and have a cup of tea before doing the thing?” It’s so much more fun that way, you know?

Probably a little less focused on the individual events and more on the overall themes this time around. Look, the writing’s not perfect, but there are some damned good arcs and I want to enjoy them all.

#watchingfairytales #mabsplaining #oh shit i'm rambling again #guys look idk my whole draft folder is full of metaweirdery like this pls halp #shit lol i didn't even talk about the charmings #yet i managed to bring up 2/3 jones brothers #wow could you IMAGINE THAT I COULD EVEN DO THAT?#guys this is the shit you're in for with me #i'm so sorry xD

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snowbellewells · 6 years

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CS Fic Exchange Prompt #4: “Melted Chocolate”

Okay, so I’m almost late enough that Valentine’s Day is practically over, but I’m posting this anyway, both for some fun holiday fluff, and for my entry in the CS Fic Exchange for Prompt #4. I haven’t used every part, but I have worked in the: candy hearts, rain, high winds, or other weather events, and the dialogue: “On a scale from one to irreconcilable differences on divorce papers, how much do you think (character) will mind if…?”

I don’t think there’s much else you need to know to enjoy this little one shot. Though I would have loved to see more of our pirate and princess in another season of OuaT, I’m having a good bit of fun imagining their happy beginning in a normal Storybrooke without the constant danger and upset – not to mention reading what everyone else sees for them as well! Imagine this is sometime not so far past the end of season six, but before Henry takes off on his own, since he is clearly still here and happy with Violet.

Of course I don’t own them! Enjoy this and the rest of your holiday evening!

“Melted Chocolate”

by: snowbellewells (TutorGirlml on ff.net)

“No, no, no!” Emma Swan moaned in sheer disgruntled reluctance, already knowing it was as bad as she feared; her forehead coming to rest against the steering wheel of her Bug where her hands were still clenched tightly. “Tell me this isn’t happening!”

The sudden rainstorm pelted down on the roof and against the windows; the downpour making her feel all the more hemmed in as the car tilted slightly in the sucking mud where they had swerved blindly off the road just enough to get stuck in the ditch, the left rear wheel sinking slowly in the mire where it was caught. The only thing that kept her from actually crying out in frustration was the feel of her husband’s curved appendage coming to rest on her shoulder, the comforting weight rubbing gentle circles into her tensed muscles in a soothing fashion.

“Come now, Love,” Killian murmured, bending to peer into her eyes as best he could with the way she had bent over the wheel and was petulantly avoiding his pretty blue eyes. “It can’t be all that bad, can it?”

She gave him a narrow-eyed glare as she sat up to face him, but still heaved a dejected sigh. If she looked at that concerned, adoring gaze too long, she wouldn’t even have her anger to hold onto. “Well, pardon me,” she grumped, only half teasing. “In case you hadn’t noticed, the car’s stuck, and there’s a literal monsoon going on outside, so it’s not great, no.”

As if in agreement with her words, the VW gave a creaking sort of settling moan, listing even more to the left once again, and Killian offered her a sheepish grin and half-shrug in recognition of her point. “Well,” he offered hopefully, holding up the plastic shopping bag from their quick run to the next town over, “at least we won’t starve.” He paired his words with a playful quirk of his brow, and for a fleeting moment it was all Emma could do not to burst out in a fit of giggles at his antics, the ridiculousness of the whole situation and the sudden storm blown up out of nowhere, despite all her previous frustration.

Shaking her head, she looked over at him in disbelieving amusement before responding sarcastically. “You just had to have those particular candy hearts, didn’t you?”

“I did promise them to Henry. After all the effort he went to in writing those verses for the young Lady Violet, it seemed a shame to deny him the finishing touch he requested. They were out of stock at the Dark Star, and so I truly had no other recourse. Though, whilst we are on the subject, why any of us frequent the pharmacy of a dwarf who has had a cold as long as I have known him is beyond me.”

“Well, be that as it may,” Emma snarked back tartly, “we’ve got bigger problems now.”

“Aye, Darling, I can see that,” Killian acceded with a grudging nod, knowing he was the more optimistic member of their duo and clearly therefore hated to acknowledge defeat and the negative until it couldn’t be helped. Still, things had clearly reached that point, as a jarring crack of thunder chose that moment to rattle the car’s windows in their frames and a jagged streak of lightning blossomed in the sky, highlighting the tension on both their faces.

Licking his lips as if gathering himself for a difficult question before plowing ahead, Killian ventured a still somewhat hopeful glance across the center console to meet hers and asked. “I don’t supposed your magic could unstick us from this predicament?” But the words were barely uttered before he trailed off, chagrined at the embarrassed and regretful look on his wife’s face.

Emma shook her head mournfully, blaming herself already for whatever the issue might be. “I thought so too,” she replied softly, offering up her hands, palms turned up and lying open, “but it isn’t working. Whatever command I try to send doesn’t seem to be having any effect. My magic is as on the fritz as our phones and the radio seem to be.” Letting her hands drop again dejectedly into her lap, Emma sent Killian an apologetic look and huffed out addition of, “I know, right? What good is having magic anyway, if it can’t get us out of a jam like this? Some Valentine’s date I turn out to be!”

Killian was quick to shake his head in disagreement, reaching over to pick Emma’s hands up again and pull them toward where he bent his dark head over them to press chaste, worshipful kisses into the center of both palms, lingering as if merely to inhale her scent and be nearer to her. “Emma, none of that now, my Lass,” he finally whispered against her skin, his lips petal-soft and his nose skimming along the life line that curved across her upper palm before the stubble that covered his chin and jawline began to tickle her sensitive skin. Raising his eyes to look at her over their entwined fingers, he barely breathed his next words aloud, and yet Emma felt them reverberating all the way down to her toes. “You are a bloody brilliant woman, amazing in every way, and the best Valentine any man could hope to have. I would want a date with no other, and I am lucky to call you my wife. Don’t you ever doubt that,” he swore fervently.

Emma’s smile was a bit tremulous, even as she tried not to get tearfully emotional on top of everything else. She nodded rapidly at Killian, as he clearly expected her promise not to sell herself short or to beat herself up for things beyond her control. She didn’t really trust her voice to be steady, but the warmth he had sent spreading through her insides was a heartening as bright sunshine on a summer’s day – the opposite of the wet grey pelting against the glass beside them.

Sniffling only slightly, she leaned over the console inconveniently stuck between them to bury her face in his chest, allowing his arms to wrap around and hold her close. After several calming moments like that, Emma realized that things could honestly be much worse. The rain – torrential flood strength though it might be – was outside, not leaking in anywhere, and they were still warm and dry. It was peaceful here in her little old car, and they were blessedly alone; something that rarely happened, emergency or no. No one was asking for their attention or even about to come looking for them and interrupt their moment together, not in the midst of such a cold, windy mess. The location might not have been the ideal she’d had in mind, but they were together at least, and undisturbed, two things that might not have happened for them otherwise, even on Valentine’s Day.

Mumbling against Killian’s skin, but unwilling to pull away just then, Emma spoke up with a bit more good humor to ask, “So, on a scale from one to irreconcilable difference on divorce papers, how much do you think Henry would mind if we tore into that bag of candy hearts?” She looked up at her pirate husband with an impish glimmer in her eyes. “If we’re going to ride this storm out here instead of making our dinner reservations, I’m going to get hungry, aren’t you?”

Killian smirked back at her, pleased with the turn in mood and more than willing to play along. “Oh, I don’t know, Swan, he seemed pretty adamant that Violet had to see these. But…I have grown on the lad. I don’t believe he would order me cast off at this first minor offense.”

She shook her head at his comeback, chortling at the impressive vocabulary he managed to employ even in jest, and began to rummage through the shopping bags for their plunder.

“However,” Killian said as he withdrew a small gift bag from somewhere inside his jacket, where Emma could only assume he had managed to hide it without her noticing sometime between the checkout and when they got in the car to head home, his voice temptingly low and eyebrow cocked invitingly. “If we do mean to break out our loot, I might have something for you that is a bit more appealing than those neon-colored, word-bedecked sugar cubes.” His tongue swept over his lower lip seductively as he watched her reaction, and Emma found herself reaching out to take the gift almost disjointedly, her movements slowed a bit at the stunned, blind attraction he could kindle in her at a moment’s notice.

When she tipped the bag upside down to free a boxed heart-shaped chocolate as large as her fist and wrapped in metallic foil, Killian continued with his honeyed words. “I thought you deserved something solid gold, Love. More reminiscent of your heart. Even if your real present is back at the house,” here he paused for dramatic effect, his eyebrows dancing merrily with barely restrained mischief, “I couldn’t resist when I saw this.”

“Flatterer,” Emma admonished, her cheeks warming as she used a nail to begin loosening the thick tape holding the box closed and pry it open. “How much of that poem for Violet did Henry write, and how much of it was your suggestion?”

“A gentleman never tells,” Killian replied archly, as though he would never dream of divulging such sacred information, to Emma’s snort of disbelief.

She got the packaging open with a bit more finagling, only to find that being pressed against her pirate’s always warm body had made one side of the chocolate heart go a bit softly melted. Making no comment, Emma tried to hold back the evil smile she felt creeping across her face. Peeling back the golden wrapper enough to get to the treat, she stuck her fingers in and then pulled back quickly, chocolate all over her fingertips, to smear the gooey delicacy across Killian’s chin and down his neck with a devious squeal of triumph.

“Hey now! What -- ?” but Killian’s squawk of protest is overcome rather rapidly by the desperate growl that echoed through his chest when Emma darted in quickly to suck the chocolate residue from his chin and lick up the remnants marked down his neck.

It didn’t take her Captain long to retaliate, and soon they were both sticky, panting, and the treat meant to tide them over until they got out of their fix was mushed into their hair, over their faces and hands, and across much of both their outfits. Still, Emma couldn’t find it in herself to mind. They celebrated Valentine’s Day together amidst a rainstorm, in kisses, giggles, and melted chocolate. No fancy dinner or dancing marked the occasion, but she did laughingly educate her Old World husband on what else could traditionally be done in a car stopped in the deserted middle of nowhere. As holiday revelry went, neither one of them would have celebrated it any other way.

Tagging a few who may enjoy: @csficexchange @kmomof4 @artistic-writer @hollyethecurious @branlovesouat @jennjenn615 @laschatzi @ilovemesomekillianjones @captain-swan-coffee

#csfe #csficexchange #prompt four #cs valentines oneshot #cs ff

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captainswanatk · 6 years

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CS 12 Days of Christmas: Day 12

Today’s prompt: free for all

I started this challenge hoping I could at least do a couple, but somehow ended up doing them all. I feel like I’ve spent the last two weeks doing nothing but write about Captain Swan. Not a bad way to spend the time. Thanks to everyone who’s been reading! Merry Christmas!

Summary: This is a canon divergence in which the events of the season 5 finale and season 6 didn’t happen, though I did take a few of my favorite moments from season 6 and work them in. Takes place five months after Zeus sent Killian back to be with Emma. Both Emma and Killian make important decisions about their relationship around Christmastime.

AO3 FF

A Very Merry Christmas

"One more."

Killian Jones could not keep the smile off his face as he happily obliged Emma Swan's request for another kiss. They'd spent a rather enjoyable evening cuddled up on her couch. The Christmas tree he'd helped her decorate and the fire in her fireplace had made for a beautiful backdrop as they talked about the upcoming holiday, stealing kisses here and there. Sometimes just snuggling in a companionable silence.

Now they were standing under the sprig of mistletoe he'd put up by her front door, Killian leaning back against the wall with Emma in his arms. It was getting late and Killian had decided that it was time for him to head back to the Jolly Roger. It wasn't that he wanted to go back to his ship. He would much rather stay with Emma doing what they'd been doing, but he was worried that he might overstay his welcome. The last thing he wanted was for his Swan to grow tired of him. Not that she seemed tired of him at the moment.

No, they'd been standing under the mistletoe for quite some time. Emma kept asking him for just one more kiss and he kept giving them to her. Who was he to deny her that? "One more," she murmured.

"Quite insatiable tonight, aren't we, Swan?" Killian teased.

"Yes," Emma said, softly, dragging his lips back to hers. "I don't want you to go."

"It's pretty late," he reminded her. "I probably should go."

"But baby, it's cold outside," she protested, making him grin.

"I thought you hated that song," he said.

"I do," she nodded, absently playing with the ends of his hair. "But it's freezing outside. And I'd just as well not have my boyfriend turn into a human popsicle."

"I appreciate the concern, darling, but the cold doesn't bother me the way it does you," he said, gently.

"Yeah, well that might be true, but I still don't want you to go," she said, resting her head against his shoulder. "So don't." Emma turned her head to kiss the side of his neck. "Stay here with me."

"Now how is a man supposed to resist that?" he asked, closing his eyes while she continued kissing his neck.

"You're not," she mumbled. "You're supposed to surrender yourself to my advances."

"Oh I see," he chuckled.

"What do you say, Captain?" Emma asked, pulling back just enough to look in his eyes. "Are you going to surrender or not?"

"It seems I have no choice. I am obviously no match for the Savior," he shrugged. "So yes, my love. I surrender."

"That's a good pirate," she said, smiling at him before leaning in for another kiss.

It was sometime later and now Emma found herself wrapped up in Killian's arms in her bed. She was absently tracing patterns on his bare chest while he gently stroked her hair. There were times when she thought this was the best part of having sex with someone you were in a committed relationship with.

There'd been a time in her life when one-nighters were as far as she'd ever go. And for a while she'd been perfectly fine with that. She didn't think herself capable of giving anyone more than one night. But then again, before Killian she never would have even considered heading to the Underworld to bring someone back. Not that she'd realized that the Underworld was a real place one could go while still alive, under the right circumstances.

The existence of the Underworld was besides the point. No, the point was that she'd never loved someone that much. Never knew that she had this kind of love within her. True love. Emma had never believed in true love before she'd learned that fairytale characters were real. Never believed it until she learned that she was the product of it. Even when she could acknowledge that what her parents shared was true love, she never imagined that she would ever find it.

Let alone with Captain Hook. It made her giggle to think about that sometimes. To think that the villain of a story she'd known ever since she was a kid would end up being her true love. Emma had long since accepted the reality of her life, but she could still appreciate the absurdity of it all.

Especially since it had brought her to this moment. Sex with Killian was unlike anything she was used to. She'd enjoyed sex before, but this was different. Being with the man she was in love with was different. It just was. It wasn't about his talents in the bedroom, although he certainly possessed many. It wasn't about how he made her feel physically, though she had absolutely no complaints in that department. It went deeper than that.

There was something so wonderfully intimate about having sex with your true love. An intimacy that should have terrified her and for a while it had. Heaven knew that she'd let Killian break through her walls in bits and pieces. That's the way that it had needed to be. Even when she might get annoyed at her inability to let him love her the way he clearly did. She would find herself wishing that she could just get over her issues and let him in completely, even while knowing that she wasn't ready for that.

Hell, she'd known that she loved him for months before she'd been able to tell him so. And the only reason she'd been able to tell him was because she thought she'd never see him again. You knew you had issues when you had to become a Dark One in order to be able to tell your boyfriend you loved them. And when you were scared to get the darkness out of you because that meant that your future with him would finally begin.

Emma was quite certain that her issues had all had issues of their own. She supposed that the important thing was that they'd reached this point. The point where she didn't feel an overwhelming urge to sneak out of bed after having sex because any resulting intimacy would be suffocating. The point where she found herself on the opposite end of that spectrum. With Killian, she found herself wanting to be close to him after having sex. What's more was that she didn't just want the intimacy, she needed it.

Needed this. Needed to spend her nights wrapped up in his arms and falling asleep with her head on his chest. Needed for him to be the last person she saw at night and the first person she saw in the morning. It was astonishing how much better she slept when he stayed over. The nights he spent on the Jolly Roger were nights where she would find herself unable to sleep. Emma would slip into one of the shirts that she'd stolen from him and bury her nose in them because they smelled like him. His scent could bring comfort when she found herself without his touch. It helped. She could actually get some measure of sleep if she wore his shirts, but it was never good sleep. Just enough to keep her from passing out in her food the next day. Not enough to feel rested.

No, the only times she could get a great night's sleep were when she had the luxury of both his scent and his touch. The only time she could completely relax was when she was in his arms. And now as she tried to snuggle even closer to him, she came to a decision.

A decision that she'd been dancing around for some time, ever since Zeus had sent Killian back where he belonged. By her side. It was time. She knew it with every fiber in her being.

"Killian?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I know what I want for Christmas," she said, her voice quiet in the dark.

"And what's that, my love?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.

"You," she said.

"You already have me, darling," he said, making her smile.

"Yeah, I do," she agreed. "And now I want more of you." Emma took a deep breath. "Move in with me."

"What?" Killian didn't know what he'd expected her to say, exactly, but it most certainly wasn't that. Now Emma shifted enough so that she could look at him, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Move in with me," she repeated.

"That...that's what you want for Christmas?" Killian sounded like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Like he couldn't believe that she'd want him to live with her. Emma softened at the look of wonder and amazement on his face.

"That's what I want for Christmas," she confirmed. "Move in with me."

"Are you..." Killian gulped and it was all Emma could do not to kiss him. Not in an effort to seduce, but because he looked so young all of a sudden. Her beloved pirate had lost his mother as a toddler and been abandoned by his father when he was still a young boy. He, too, was an orphan just like she had been. So she could guess how she was feeling.

As an orphan, the one thing Emma had always wanted more than anything was a home. A real home with someone who loved and wanted her. And she knew that Killian had always wanted the same thing. It was easy for other people to make fun of the love Killian had for the Jolly Roger, but Emma got it. That ship was his home, his constant companion. It was where he'd lost his brother and his first love, Milah. Before Emma had come along, those were the only two people he could remember loving him. Killian had once told her that he liked to think that his mother had loved him too. She hadn't left him on purpose.

Nor had Liam or Milah. The Jolly Roger was the closest thing to family that Killian had had for centuries. But as much as he loved his ship, it wasn't the same as being loved and wanted by another person. Now Emma was watching while Killian tried to wrap his brain around the fact that she wanted to share her home with him.

He'd known that this was something she'd wanted in theory. Killian was the person who had found the house that had become Emma's home, him and Henry. The plan had been for them to live together, the two of them and Henry, when he wasn't with Regina. Emma's boys had believed that this would give her something to look forward to. This was the future that she'd been so afraid of and Killian had helped her to see that she didn't need to be afraid. Not of that.

Of course, a lot had happened since then. Emma had turned Killian into a Dark One against his will. He'd been too weak to resist the darkness. Emma supposed it was rather like taking a recovering alcoholic and forcing them to drink alcohol. She had turned him into the very thing he'd spent centuries trying to destroy. She'd done that to him. To save his life, yes, but she'd turned him into the thing he hated most. She'd thrown him right back into the darkness he'd worked so hard to free himself from.

And as horrible as his plan to bring back all the other Dark Ones had been, and it had truly been horrible, he had found the strength to do the right thing in the end. Her Killian, the man she'd always known was still in there, had come back to himself. Knowing that it would mean sacrificing himself and doing it anyway. He'd then been sent to the Underworld and tortured by Hades, only to ultimately decide to stay behind.

Emma still had nightmares about leaving him behind every now and then. It had been five months since Zeus had sent Killian back where he belonged, by her side. And yet Emma still had nightmares about leaving him there sometimes. That was one of the reasons why it was impossible for her to sleep well without him beside her. Bad dreams weren't as common when he was with her and if she did have one, being able to reach out and was a big help. That and Killian was quite talented at being able to chase her bad dreams away.

In any event, Killian had not broached the subject of moving in since his return. Emma wondered if he thought that that particular dream had been taken off the table. And she supposed that she'd inadvertently done that by not bringing it up herself. Now Emma could see that he'd never let go of the dream, the longing to build a home with her. And he couldn't believe that it might actually come true. That she would want it too. Not after everything that had happened.

"Emma, are you sure?" His voice was so rough that all Emma wanted to do was hug him and kiss him and more or less shower him with the love that he'd gone without for far too long.

"Positive," she said, keeping her eyes on his. "Killian, I have a closet full of red jackets. I feel like I can make some space for some black leather."

"Well, when you put it like that, then I would love," he smiled at her as he continued, "to move in with you." Their lips met in a loving kiss, a kiss that was full of hope and promise.

Killian stood just outside of the house that was his new home, a home he would share with his precious Swan. He was still having a hard time believing it, even while he cradled the last of his belongings from the Jolly Roger in his arms. There was a part of him that would miss living on his ship, but this was everything he had been longing for finally coming true.

"Are you going to come in or not?" Killian was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of Emma's voice. She stood just inside the house, their house now, smiling at him.

"Aye," he said, finally moving from where he'd been standing for who knew how long and joining her inside.

"Welcome home, Captain," Emma said, tenderly.

"A home for Christmas," he said, struggling to speak over the lump that had formed in his throat at her words. "Swan, I never..."

"I know," she said quietly, when it became clear that he wasn't able to finish. She did know. She knew exactly what he'd been trying to say. He'd never believed that he could have this. Not just a home, but someone to share it with. "I know, baby. Neither did I."

"So, when are you going to ask my Mom to marry you, already?"

It was one week after Killian had moved in with Emma, and Henry when he was there. Christmas was in three days and Emma had left the house early to get to the Sheriff station. She was planning on taking both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off and had a mountain of paperwork she needed to get through first. Leaving Henry and Killian alone for breakfast.

Killian had just taken a sip of his coffee when Henry had sprung that bombshell of a question on him with no warning whatsoever. He'd immediately started coughing, nearly choking on his coffee. "Bloody hell," Killian muttered.

"Are you okay?" Henry asked. Killian managed a nod while he grabbed a napkin to wipe his mouth with, his eyes now fixed on the boy. Henry's expression wavered between solemn to vaguely concerned.

"That, my lad, is a matter of debate," Killian answered. "What the devil made you ask me that?"

"Well, let's see," Henry began. "You love my mom and she loves you. And now you're finally living together. So what are you waiting for?"

"We..." Killian stopped, needing to give the question some thought. "Yes, your mother and I love each other. Very much, in fact. But we've only just moved in together. I think marriage is jumping the gun, as they say."

"Really?" Henry asked, channeling his mother.

"What?" Killian asked.

"Marriage is jumping the gun. Really?" Henry repeated.

"It is," Killian said, somewhat amused at the pointed expression Henry gave him.

"Killian," Henry sighed. "My mom went to the Underworld to save you."

"Yes, I remember that quite clearly, thank you," Killian said. "You were there as well."

"Killian. My mom went to the Underworld to save you and bring you back from the dead. Zeus sent you back where you belonged." Henry waited a beat. "With my mom."

"Aye," Killian nodded. "I know our story, lad. What's your point?"

"Killian." Henry sighed again. When he continued, it was almost as though he were the adult and Killian a child. "You know it's true love. It's literally been blessed by the gods. What more do you need?"

"Henry, I'm not so sure that your mother is ready for that particular step," Killian said.

"But you were surprised when she wanted you to move in here," Henry pointed out. "How do you know she doesn't want to get married?"

"Moving in together and getting married are two different things, my boy," Killian countered.

"Like you guys aren't practically married anyway." Henry rolled his eyes. "You do that thing that Grandma and Grandpa do when they communicate without saying anything. It's creepy."

"I have no bloody idea how I'm meant to respond to that," Killian said.

"You guys would literally do anything to be together. Again, my mom went to the Underworld for you. And you sacrificed yourself for her," Henry said. "You obviously want to be together because you're together all the time."

"We're not together now," Killian shot back. It was a childish thing to say, to be certain, but that was the best he could come up with.

"You know what I mean," Henry said. "So, what are you waiting for?"

"Bloody hell, Henry, we're talking about a lifelong commitment here," Killian said, tunneling his hand through his hair.

"You spent, what, 500 years trying to avenge the murder of your first love. I think you can commit," Henry quipped, making Killian's lips twitch.

"First of all, it was closer to 200 years," Killian said. "And I assure you that it's not the idea of making this kind of commitment to your mother that concerns me."

"So ask her already," Henry said.

"What makes you think your mother is ready to make that kind of commitment to me?" Killian asked.

"Dude." At this Killian's eyebrow lifted. He couldn't recall Henry, or anyone else for that matter, ever calling him that before. "For the fourth time. My mom. Went to the Underworld. For you."

"I heard you the first three times," Killian informed him.

"And you still asked me if I thought my mom was ready to commit to you," Henry said, rolling his eyes again. "What, are you scared?"

"Alright, my boy, I am not scared," Killian said, somewhat offended now.

"Then ask my mom to marry you already," Henry said, bluntly. "Though you may want to ask my Grandpa for his blessing first. He'd appreciate that. If you do it soon, you can propose on Christmas."

"You...I...you..." Killian sputtered, making Henry smirk at him.

"Come on," Henry said, standing to put his now empty bowl in the sink. "We're going ring shopping."

Killian had no idea how he'd let himself get into this predicament. He'd thought Henry had been kidding when he'd suggested going ring shopping. He hadn't been. He'd been dead serious. So they'd gone ring shopping. Henry had helped Killian pick out what he believed to be the perfect ring for Emma. And Killian had been horrified when Henry had led Killian to Granny's under the guise of wanting lunch.

Alright, in fairness, Henry probably did want lunch and Granny's was the most logical choice of venue. It wasn't the fact that they'd gone to Granny's that horrified Killian. It was the fact that Henry had conveniently forgot to mention just who they would evidently be having lunch with.

David.

And just so Killian understood that he was most definitely not the person in charge of this particular situation, Henry had just informed his Grandpa that Killian had a very important question to ask him.

"Well?" David asked, looking back and forth between Henry and Killian. Naturally, Henry had chosen to sit beside Killian in the booth, effectively blocking his only possible escape route. Killian had once told Emma that she had a little pirate in her and that was absolutely the truth. But Killian was rather proud to see that Henry had evidently had a little pirate in him too.

Mostly proud. Because it was that little piece of pirate that had gotten Killian into this mess.

"Henry and I have been shopping," Killian said, finally.

"Well it is almost Christmas," David said, giving him an odd look. "There's a lot of people shopping."

"We were shopping for something very specific," Henry told him.

"Aye," Killian said, shooting a glare at Henry, who had the nerve to smirk in response. "Here. I suppose I might as well show you." With that, Killian reached in the bag and pulled out the ringbox, setting it firmly on the table.

"What's this?" David asked.

"Just open it," Killian said, letting out a long-suffering sigh. He watched, making sure to keep his face impassive while David opened it.

"Why, Hook, this is all so sudden," David said, making a show of putting a hand to his heart. So much for staying impassive.

"You know bloody well that that isn't meant for you, mate," Killian snapped.

"And here I thought you cared," David joked. Though he sobered a couple of moments later. "Ask me."

"What?" Killian asked.

"Ask me what you need to ask me," David said simply. Killian could merely stare at the Prince for a few beats, suddenly quite sure that he couldn't remember the last time he was so nervous. It was absurd. It was up to Emma to decide if she wanted to marry Killian. The decision had absolutely nothing to do with David.

Except that it did, at least in part. Killian understood all too well that Emma was part of a package deal. If they were to be married, her family would essentially become his family as well. Not having David's blessing could make things difficult for all of them.

Especially considering that Killian worried that he might never be enough for Charming and Snow. That they would think him unworthy of their daughter. How could they not when Killian thought that himself? He knew with complete and utter certainty that not receiving David's blessing would be devastating. For as much as he loved his Swan and her son, he'd come to care about Charming and Snow. He wanted to be a part of their family. Emma could decide to marry him, but that didn't necessarily mean he'd be welcomed into the rest of the family.

"Ask him," Henry urged.

Very well. Might as well lay his cards on the table and find out where he stood. It was hard for Killian to tell what David thought of him at times.

"You know that I love your daughter," Killian began. "And that I would do anything for her. I hope that you know that, at the very least. I would do anything for Emma. Anything and everything in my power to give her everything her heart desires." He paused. "David, may I have your blessing to ask for Emma's hand in marriage?"

David studied him for what felt like an eternity and Killian could actually feel himself beginning to sweat. And then the Prince began to smile.

"Of course," David said finally. "Of course, you have my blessing."

"Well, that is a relief," Killian said. And it was. It was a wonder that Killian hadn't lost his recently finished lunch while he was waiting for David to respond.

"Well, I mean it's up to Emma, of course, but yes," David confirmed. "You have my blessing." Now he laughed as Killian ran his hand over his face. "You were really that nervous?"

"Why would I be nervous? Prince Charming doesn't set the bar high at all," Killian said, feeling as thought a huge weight he hadn't realized he was carrying had just been taken off his shoulders.

"Good," Henry said with a nod. "You have a ring and you have Grandpa's blessing. You're all set to ask my mom to marry you on Christmas."

"I never actually agreed to that, my boy," Killian argued, weakly.

"No, but you will," Henry said, confidently.

"You know, Henry," Killian began after another moment. "Given the way you're pushing me to do this, I can guess that I may already have it. But it occurs to me that I should ask for your blessing as well."

"What?" This had thrown Henry for a loop.

"You and your mother are a package deal, lad. And I would be honored to be your stepfather. And since you so wanted me to do this properly, I'm going to bloody do it properly," Killian said, looking Henry in the eye. "May I have your blessing to ask for your mother's hand in marriage?"

"No," Henry said, seriously.

"N-no?" Now Killian had been thrown for a loop. Why the devil would Henry push Killian to propose if he wasn't okay with the idea of Killian being his stepfather? He was just starting to panic when Henry's lips quivered.

"Killian, your face," Henry snickered.

"What?" Killian asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Of course you have my blessing," Henry laughed. "I want you guys to get married."

"You..." Killian closed his eyes, pressing his hand to his forehead while Henry and David laughed at him. "Bloody hell."

It was Christmas morning and Emma had woken up to find herself snuggled up against Killian's side while he stroked her hair. That was usually how she fell asleep, but usually not how she woke up. She tended to move in her sleep, often waking up to find herself facing away from him. Those mornings, if he were still in bed, she would usually wake to the feel of him against her back.

But every once in a while, Emma woke with her head on his chest. Given her sleeping habits, she sincerely doubted that they'd stayed like that all night. It was more likely that she'd turned away at some point and then eventually found her way back. Or who knew? Maybe they had spent the night like that. Whatever. It hardly mattered. There were worse ways to wake up, Emma thought with a smile.

"Morning babe," she said, sleepily. She turned her head just enough to press a kiss to his chest. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, my love," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Did you sleep well?"

"I always sleep well in your arms," she told him, not for the first time.

"I'm glad," he said, giving her a little squeeze.

"Mmm," Emma sighed, trying to snuggle closer to him. "You're so nice and warm. I think I could stay here all day."

That made Killian smile. "As much as I would enjoy that, we're due at the farmhouse in a couple of hours," he reminded her, chuckling when she groaned. "Don't you want to see your family on Christmas?"

"Sure, I do," she answered. "But I want to stay here too."

"We've not planned anything to do tomorrow," Killian said. "Perhaps we can spend all day in bed then. Would that satisfy you, my love?"

"I suppose," she said. "But I still don't want to get up."

"We don't have to get up just this second," he assured her. "We can linger a while longer."

"Good, let's linger," she yawned. "What?" she asked when he chuckled.

"Oh, just you enjoying a nice, quiet moment," he said. "There was a time when I didn't believe that was possible."

"I like the quiet moments," Emma said. "Especially now that we get them so often."

"Aye, love," he replied. "Me too. I should hate to disturb it, but I'm afraid that I might need to."

"Why?"

"Why, to give you your first Christmas present, of course," he answered. This got her attention.

Emma raised herself up so she could look at him. "My first Christmas present? There's more than one?" This made Killian chuckle again. Indeed, there was more than one. He'd purchased her a simple locket and Henry helped him get pictures of the two of them inside of it. Now Emma could have her boys with her wherever she went.

But then Henry had decided that Killian needed to propose and now Emma would have a diamond ring to go with her necklace. Provided that she said yes, that is. Killian had deliberated over the best time to ask, deciding that this moment should be between the two of them. He just hadn't been sure of when he'd wanted to ask, but he'd woken up and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to make it through the day not knowing her answer to this very important question.

And bloody hell, he was practically feeling himself beginning to sweat again. He thought he'd been nervous asking for David's, and then Henry's, blessings. That was nothing compared to now. Now, his beautiful Swan was looking at him in a kind of befuddled expectancy.

"Yes, my darling," he answered, finally, his voice soft. "There's more than one."

"You got me more than one present," she said, sounding awed. Almost like she couldn't fathom the notion that he would buy her more than one present. Emma had come such a long way in the time he'd had the pleasure of knowing her, but he knew that she still struggled with understanding that she was so loved now. That someone should want to not just buy her one present, but two. It was something that she would just have to bloody get used to, he thought. He could happily shower her with presents for the rest of her life. Would do just that, if all went well.

"I did, indeed," he said, smiling at her before reaching for the box that he'd kept tucked in the curve of his hook on his bedside table. He'd wrapped it last night, not without difficulty. Bloody hell, he had to will his hand not to shake. "Open it," he said. He may have managed to keep his hand steady, but he could not say the same for his voice. Emma shifted a bit so she could use both hands to open it, sneaking glances at him while she did.

It was during the time she spent unwrapping it that Killian finally understood just how long an eternity was. He'd thought it was how long he'd needed to wait for David to give Killian his blessing, but no, he'd been wrong. This, this felt like a true eternity. Though this was likely nothing compared to the time he would spend waiting for her answer.

This proposal may, in fact, kill him. Surely, it was unnatural for a heart to be beating so quickly. Now he found himself holding his breath when she finally got all of the wrapping paper off.

"Oh Killian." Now Emma seemed nervous while she looked at the box. Bloody hell. Maybe neither one of them would survive this. Who knew that this was all it took to bring a Captain and his Swan to their knees. Bested by a bloody ringbox.

Perhaps Killian was feeling a tad melodramatic. "Open it," he repeated, barely able to recognize his own voice now. He watched as Emma slowly opened the box, her eyes widening as she gasped.

"Killian," she whispered.

"Aye?" Bloody hell, his voice hadn't been that high since he was a young boy. He made an effort to clear his throat.

"D-do you have something to ask me?"

"I suppose that I do," he replied.

"Are...are you going to?" she asked, when he didn't say anything. Right. He was actually going to have to use his voice to ask her what was without question the most important question that he was ever going to ask anyone, ever. He could do this.

"Emma...somehow you've managed to do what no other woman ever could," he began. "You made me want to become a better man. You made me realize that I was still capable of caring for another person, of loving them. You've rescued me from a lifetime of pain and loneliness. My Swan, my Savior."

"Killian." Tears had begun rolling down Emma's cheeks.

"I believe...I should like to believe that I've somehow done the same for you," he said.

"You have," she broke in, her voice scratchy.

"Emma, I know that your life has been filled with uncertainty. And if there are two things that I would like for you to be certain of, it's my love for you which shall over grow with time. And that I will always, always be by your side," Killian said, reaching to take the ring out of the box. "Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

Killian had thought that the real measure of an eternity would be the time it would take for her to respond, but he was wrong. Emma didn't make him wait for a response.

"Yes," she whispered, straight away. "Yes, Killian."

"Yes?" he repeated, stunned.

"Yes!" Emma's lips were on his own before Killian could say anything else. She was absolutely beaming at him when they pulled apart and he couldn't have stopped his answering grin if he'd tried. Not that he would've wanted to. He slid the ring onto its new home on Emma's finger. This was the start of their happy beginning.

"I love you, Swan," Killian said, tenderly kissing her again. "Merry Christmas, my love."

"Merry Christmas, Captain. I love you," Emma smiled at him before tapping her lips with her finger. "One more?"

"Aye, darling," he replied, delighted with her. "One more."

This would prove to be a very Merry Christmas, indeed.

#cschristmascountdown #cschristmas #cs ff #cs fanfic #emma swan #killian jones #canon divergence

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lizacstuff · 7 years

Text

6x11 Spoilery Anon Asks #2

First set of responses is here

Have you ever thought why Regina in all the AU episodes i have seen, is not even altered or old? like even as bandit snow regina, it was exactly doing much either, or showcasing some skills to play that lol. I am curious why the show never also shows her old or different to others.

Well in 6.11 it’s because it’s always current Regina, there is no Wish AU version of her that we see.

As for why they don’t write it, maybe they’re not interested in seeing Lana try to do justice to scenes like that? (Can you imagine?)

I'm not invested in OQ but I'm really curious how they are going to handle Wish!Robin and what the intent of this is. What was your impression of Wish!Robin? Did he seem different from old Robin?

Can I make a confession? Just like my attention span isn’t stellar at home when it comes to scenes when neither Emma nor Hook are there... same thing goes for the screening. :D But my impression was that he was different in subtle ways. This Robin was a thief who stole to make himself rich, not to give to the poor. He also never married Marian and he admits he’s not really happy. He consents to go with Regina because he’s a wanted man, and he has nothing really keeping him in that “realm” and Regina is talking a good game.

Regina says she sees her Robin in him. Time will tell, I’m not invested either, but I admit to being curious as to where this is going and how it’s going to end.

What did you think of Belle in the ep?

Poor Belle. She was trying to save her son, while not letting him murder anyone. The scene between her, David and Killian is a good one. Though make no mistake they were still making this more about David’s emotions than Killian, but not as lopsided at 6.10. Killian was still the voice of reason, but this time around Killian actually says, “you’re usually the voice of reason” to David, so they acknowledge the roll reversal. Actually, I think it’s that David is so out-of-control and spiraling that Killian has no choice but to be the calm one. They are obviously setting up David for his upcoming story where I’m guessing he becomes a bit untethered. This scene also set up the upcoming tension that’s been teased between Belle/Rumple and the Charmings/Swan/Joneses

Charming and Hook were okay to let Belle try to get through to Gideon, but they were also both clear that if Belle failed, they were going to do whatever was necessary to stop him.

Hey, so the 6x11 press release lists a "young Pinocchio" with an actor in his early twenties. Where does that guy show up?

He shows up in the flashback with young Emma. It seems August checked in on Kid!Emma to see how she was doing, they talk about the Ugly Duckling story blah blah, it leads to her deciding who she is and who she wants to be by picking the name Swan as her last name. It coincides with her AU scenes with August where she realizes she can still be who she wants to be (in this case a person who is not fated to die by a hooded figure) and can forge her own destiny.

There's a report that the OQ copied the CS reunion except for a hug instead of a kiss, what do you think about that?

I hadn’t seen it but @beka1820 had shown it to me just before I got this ask. We were both at a loss as neither of us made the connection while watching. I mean... sure... Regina turns around and there he is and she runs over to him and hugs him, but that’s about it. The scenes really aren’t similar. Hook and Emma were True Love being reunited after death. This version of Robin had known Regina for a few hours and they’d been parted at present for 30 seconds. Robin had no idea why he was being greeted thusly.

Not the same. Also not the same setting. Not the same actions. (it’s not like for OQ there were tears and kisses, and joyful attack cheek kisses and holding each other as tightly as possible and then koala hugging) Not the same emotions. Basically the similarities end with one running to the other’s arms and I think we can agree that CS doesn’t have the patent on that move.

Nothing to get angry about in my opinion.

Would you categorize 6x11 as someone's centric or more of an ensemble?

It’s an ensemble with the action and time spread around, however if one character had the edge it would be Emma. With the backstory it really was her journey to realizing that just because some prophesy says she’ll die, that doesn’t have to happen and she can make her own way. Plus the action in Storybrooke is also revolving around her and how to keep Gideon from killing her.

So how much bad Emma Regina "friendship" stuff are we subjected to in the new episode? From what I'm hearing, Regina doesn't help Emma find a way back to Storybrooke at all, even though Regina is the reason they're stuck in the first place.

As I said this morning, Regina is 100% focused on Robin in this episode, so she is not a lot of help in fixing things, but I’m fine with that when it means she’s off doing her own thing while Emma is finding a way home!

The only real friendship moment is when Emma is encouraging Regina to bring Robin with them. I talked about why Emma would do that this morning.

Thanks for all the updates from the atvfest! Don't know if this is too spoilery, but do we find out why wish!realm hook ended up the way he did? Why he was a mess?

Nope, we don’t have any inkling. I think the short answer is because that is how the twisted Genie made him in order to punish Emma. Remember, this realm doesn’t mean anything.

Wait. 2 Wish!Realm CS scenes? What’s the other one?

It’s technically two scenes, but it’s the same scene we’ve been talking about, just continued.

Can you clarify? So young Emna chooses her last name "Swan?" But I thought her Swan last name came from the people who "adopted" her as a baby and then gave her back when she was 3. They changed canon? Or another writing hiccup where they don't remember their own story.

Can you name the episode with that in it? I can’t.

From what I understand that is not canon, it was never in the show. I’ve heard it was something that JMo said years ago and it has become fanon since then. So maybe JMo and the writers talked about it at one point and changed their minds? They can do that since it apparently never aired.

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, since I don't remember early seasons that well, but that’s what I’ve heard from others.

#ouat spoilers #ouat 6x11 #asklizac #anti lana

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