#wt23 tag

[5ivebyfive]

whumptober day 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.” fandom: power rangers (2017) ship: trimberly note: Set vaguely in the universe of such a beautiful disaster. You don't have to read it to follow this, but you should! (and I'm gonna work on updating it) tw: drug use mention, super angst Kim had good days and bad days. Then she had very bad days. She was over the withdrawal of the drugs, but her mental health wasn’t good. It was like everything she had suppressed with cocaine was finally rising from the water. Trini could handle it all though. She loved Kim and anything Kim brought, Trini was there. But the very bad days were hard for her. It was like there was nothing she could do to console her girlfriend, and it angered her. She wasn’t angered at Kim, but at the whole situation. 

Kim going through withdrawal and starting life without drugs had taken a toll on Trini. She tried so hard to be strong for Kim, but some nights, when Kim was able to fall into a deep sleep, Trini cried. She mourned for ther Kim before the drugs, and she mourned for how broken Kim was still. But she powered through it, kept it to herself, and kept going.

Trini was sitting on the couch in the living room. Kim was taking an afternoon nap, and as much as Trini wanted to join her, she just needed a break. So she called Zack and listened to the phone ring.

“Yo, Trini,” he answered.

“Yo,” Trini replied with little energy.

“You okay?”

“I don’t know,” she said. She didn’t often talk about everything with Zack because it was Kim’s business. But sometimes she needed to let some of it out, and she couldn’t with Kim. So Zack it was.

“What’s up?” He asked in concern.

“I’m just…tired,” she said with a sigh.

“Are you sleeping?”

“It’s hard to sleep. I lay there and worry about her, and…it’s like, if I sleep and something happens…”

“You gotta take care of yourself, too,” Zack said.

“I don’t know,” Trini said. “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

“I say again, take care of yourself.”

“Yeah,” she said distantly. Then she jumped because suddenly Kim was in the room, and she didn’t look happy. “I gotta go,” she told Zack. She hung up and looked at Kim. “You okay?”

“I’m a burden on you,” Kim said softly. “You don’t sleep because of me.” Trini closed her eyes. Kim wasn’t supposed to hear that.

“Princess, you’re not a burden. Never.”

“You just told Zack I am,” Kim said with a stubborn tone.

“I didn’t.” Trini got up and walked towards Kim to take her in her arms, but Kim pulled away. “I don’t care if I never sleep again,” she said. “As long as I’m taking care of you.”

“Yeah,” Kim huffed. “Then you’ll pass out or something and it’ll be my fault. Just…forget about me, okay?” She turned on her heel and went back into the bedroom to slam the door shut behind her. Trini immediately followed and tried to turn the knob on the door, but it was locked. She started to panic. A locked door was bad. She knew Kim was clean and was working hard to stay that way, but a locked door scared Trini. She had no idea what was going on behind it.

Trini’s whole identity had become taking care of Kim. She was on sabbatical from work so she could be there 24/7. And all that time together often led to fights. At least, on Kim’s end. Trini tried to acquiesce and not fight back. She didn’t want to fight with Kim. She didn’t want to make things worse for Kim. So she felt like she was disappearing. Everything that made her her was gone, because all she was, was Kim’s keeper. And she wanted it that way, but it was difficult. She was overtired, burned out, and depressed. She just didn’t let that show in front of Kim.

“Kim,” she called through the door. “Open up. We can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk!” Kim shouted back.

“I need to talk to you.”

“To talk about what a burden I am?” Kim said with a growl.

“You’re not a burden!” Trini shouted, losing the control she tried so hard to have around Kim. The door swung open and Kim glared at Trini.

“Yeah, it’s my fault you’re not sleeping.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Trini argued. “I’m the one who makes myself stay awake as much as I can. I’m the one who’s in control of that. I’m the one who decides to do that.” Kim looked at the floor, crossing her arms. Trini tried to approach her again. She put a hand on Kim’s arm and looked at her, even though Kim didn’t look back. “I love you. So much. I just…can’t help worrying about you.” Kim kicked the floor with the toes of her foot and her frown deepened.

“I don’t want you to worry about me so much,” she said quietly.

“Well…I do,” Trini said.

“You don’t have to,” Kim said. “I can go stay somewhere else and you can sleep and…not think about me.”

“You’re not leaving,” Trini said thickly.

“You can’t make me stay,” Kim replied. “I’m an adult.”

“You want to leave me?” Trini asked, sad fear in her voice. Kim looked up, her gaze clouded.

“Wouldn’t it be better for you if I did?”

“No! You can’t…would you really do that?” Trini asked. Her brows furrowed and she shook her head. Kim didn’t say anything. “After everything I’ve been doing for you?” Trini was starting to get mad. 

“You deserve a break from me.” Kim glanced up.

“I don’t need a break from you. But I do need you to stop assuming what I need.”

“You’re doing too much,” Kim murmured. “I’m draining you.” Trini sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, you are. But I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m tired of being…like this,” Kim said, her eyes welling with tears. “I want us to go back to normal. Before…everything.”

“So do I,” Trini said. “But you still need time.”

“I need time…away,” Kim said, looking away again.

“You’re still in a place where you could relapse,” Trini said.

“I won’t.”

“How will I make sure of that?”

“You don’t have to,” Kim said. “I can take care of myself. I’ll stay with my parents.”

“Kim…” Trini felt hopeless and her heart was breaking. “What…what does that mean for us?”

“It means…we need a break. I need a break. And I think you do, too.”

“I don’t!”

“I’m going to go pack and call my mom,” Kim said, turning to the bedroom door.

“Kim!” Trini moved closer to grab her, but Kim pushed her off. Then Kim went into the bedroom and closed and locked the door. Trini deflated. She stumbled over to the couch and fell onto it. A break? She couldn’t handle a break. She couldn’t handle how much she was going to worry with Kim so far away. She leaned her head back on the cushion and closed her eyes as silent tears fell down the sides of her face. She loved Kim more than anything else in the world. She didn’t care what happened to herself if she could just take care of her. But it was difficult. It was draining. Loving Kim in this period of their lives felt…like she was being pulled in multiple directions while her tooth was being pulled. It was killing Trini. She knew it, but she couldn’t say it. She didn’t want to say it. Kim was going through so much and Trini couldn’t fix it. She often felt like she was drowning. Like she couldn’t breathe. She walked on eggshells around Kim, hoping not to upset her or guide her into falling back into drugs. It was so hard. It was straining their relationship. It felt impossible.

But Trini didn’t care. She would let Kim grind her down into nothing, as long as she could be there. And Kim wasn’t letting her. Kim was shutting her out again. Trini shifted and laid down across the couch, eyes still closed. She curled into a ball and cried. She cried for all the fear and pain she had been through with Kim ever since everything had been off while Kim secretly did drugs. She cried for not being a good enough caretaker which was pushing Kim out the door.

She heard Kim come out of the bedroom and didn’t look at her. The air was thick between them. Trini just wanted Kim to go already. She couldn’t take it. Then, she felt Kim climb onto the couch behind her. Kim’s arm went around Trini and pulled her back against her chest. Trini wanted to pull away. She was sad and angry about Kim leaving. But Kim hadn’t held her in so long. Trini leaned back into Kim. Kim kissed her neck.

“I love you,” Kim whispered. “I’ll be back.”

“Don’t,” Trini begged.

“Ssh,” Kim hushed. She curled into Trini. Trini couldn’t fight it anymore. She stayed silent and sniffed, her face itchy from drying tears. She squeezed her eyes shut and just let herself be in the moment. Kim pressed her lips to Trini’s shoulder and held them there. They lay there silently for a long time, Kim just holding Trini, until eventually, Trini fell into a deep sleep.

#trimberly #trimberly fic #power rangers 2017 #my fics #beautiful disaster tag #wt23 tag #lemme know if you like it #reblog please! #queue sera sera

[5ivebyfive]

whumptober day 17:  “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” fandom: power rangers 2017 (trimberly) plot: save kim, save the world title: leave while i'm not looking (part one, part two, part three, conclusion:)

Rita stood inches from Kim having taken down the power chain around Kim’s neck so she could talk. Face to face, Rita sneered at her. “You’re going to bring me your Yellow Ranger,” she said, her disgusting breath coating Kim’s face. Kim glared.

“I’m not bringing you anyone.” She didn’t know what Rita wanted with the Aisha, but she wasn’t about to find out.

“You will if you value your life,” Rita said. She slammed her staff into the ground. “She and I have…unfinished business.” And in that moment, Kim realized she meant Trini. Rita had an obsession with Trini, always trying to kill her whenever she came back. She didn’t exactly know why, and Trini barely told her what happened the times she and Rita were alone.

“You can kill me before I do that,” Kim growled protectively. 

“Or maybe I’ll just torture you instead. Until you lead your girlfriend to me.” Rita eyed Kim’s stony face. Kim wasn’t going to let her surprise show. How did Rita know Trini was her girlfriend? “You see,” Rita went on. “I want to see what lengths she’ll go to, to get you back.”

“She won’t, because I won’t let her,” Kim said.

“Let her?” Rita laughed a cold laugh. “Oh, dear Pink. She won’t be able to resist! And you’ll bring her here. You’ll tell her where you are and she’ll come for you. And I will kill her!”

“Oh, dear Rita,” Kim said in a sugary tone. “I’m insulted.” Her tone changed to grim and determined. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” She brought her knees up and kicked Rita’s feet out from under her. Rita went down hard, but in an instant she flew back up.

“You’re willing to die for her?” Rita asked, clearly not getting it. “But, I killed my Yellow Ranger. It was fun. I never felt more powerful!”

“Yeah,” Kim said thickly. “I’ll die for her. So go ahead and kill me.”

“That’s not how the plan goes!” Rita roared. She whipped her staff and sent an electrical current through Kim’s body. Kim screamed in pain. It felt like her body was giving up on her and Rita wasn’t letting up.

“Fuck…you!” Kim cried.

“I want the old Yellow Ranger!” Rita shouted. Kim could barely think with the power running through her. She yanked at her chains trying to get free, but it hurt. She knew she had already broken the skin around her wrists. There was dried blood running down her arms. The power was so painful and unwavering, and eventually she passed out while thinking that she really was going to die at Rita’s hand, and never see Trini again.

But Kim came around again, and she was alone. For a moment, she thought she was dead, feeling hazy and out of it. Then she felt the tremors in her body and the pain and she knew she wasn’t. She rolled her head to stretch her neck and kicked her feet to get the energy out of her body. It didn’t work. She could still feel the aftershocks. They felt like they’d never stop zapping through her body.

God, she was drained. She was tired. She didn’t know how long she had been trapped there, but she had to guess at least 24 hours. She was desperately hungry. Rita wasn’t feeding her anything. She tried not to think about the pangs of hunger and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and attempted to go through her conversation with Rita. How did Rita know that Trini wasn’t a Power Ranger anymore? She didn’t know. It was scary, really. It tortured her that Rita was still gunning for Trini. She truly didn’t understand Rita’s obsession with her. It wasn’t going to go away. Not until they got rid of Rita for good. But Kim could protect Trini with everything she had. She wouldn’t lure Trini to Rita, that wasn’t an option. How would the other Rangers even find her? If Rita had her communicator with its GPS they could, but Kim had no idea if Rita still had it. If she did, wouldn’t they be there by then?

What else could she do? She had to think. She missed having Billy on the team. He could do so much. He would be able to find her, wouldn’t he? He had so many gadgets and computers and…then something occurred to her. An idea. She took another breath and dipped her head. It could kill her. If it was a mistake, Rita would kill her. If Rita figured her out, she would kill her. She didn’t want that, obviously. She desperately wanted to live and live with Trini. “I love you, Trini,” Kim whispered to herself. She had to hope Trini felt it, knew it, because she couldn’t stand dying without Trini knowing that she loved her. That everything she did was for Trini. For the world, sure, but a world for Trini. If she got out of there, she had to keep being a Ranger. Always. To protect Trini from Rita. 

But she was tired. Maybe…maybe it was time. If it was going to ruin her relationship…maybe it was time.

She shook the thoughts away and looked up. “Rita!!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. Rita hadn’t muted her again. “Rita! Get your ugly, evil, hag self out here!!” She rattled her chains to make as much noise as she could. She repeatedly called Rita’s name, called her names, and kept doing it. She wasn’t going to stop until Rita came.

Finally, when she didn’t think she could scream anymore, Rita walked in. Kim stared at her. She hated Rita so much. She wanted to kill Rita. But she had to get out of her chains first. “I’ll tell her to come,” she said. “Just let me down.”

“You’ll stay,” Rita said. She walked up to Kim and produced a cell phone. “I believe you humans use this to communicate.” She had a disgusted look on her face and held it like it was a rat.

“Yes! Yes, I’ll call her,” Kim said, nodding. “But I need a free hand.”

“Why?”

“Because. I need a hand to operate that and call her.”

“Very. Well,” Rita said through gritted teeth. She aimed her staff at one of the cuffs and blasted it open. Kim brought it down and felt the blood start to rush down it. She looked at it and it was ugly. Her skin was broken and raw and bleeding still. She ignored it and held her hand out. She was glad that she made it a priority to memorize the Ranger’s phone numbers while they were together just in case. She took the phone from Rita and looked down at it. 

“Okay,” Kim said. “I just…have to press some buttons and it’ll connect to her, okay?” Rita nodded, but looked impatient. 

“Tell her…” Rita leaned into Kim’s ear to whisper a riddle. She supposed it was meant to tell Trini where she was, but Kim couldn’t piece it together in her state. She nodded. She quickly dialed a number and listened to it ring.

“Hello?” Billy’s voice echoed through the line.

“Trini, it’s me,” Kim said.

“Kim..this is Billy, not Trini.”

“I know, baby,” Kim replied, as though she were talking to Trini. “But I need you to come get me.”

“What’s going on?” Billy asked uncertainly. “Kim, Trini isn’t here. And I’m not your baby.”

“I know, it’s okay. I’m okay. But…Rita has a message for you.”

“Rita? Rita’s there?” He sounded worried. “Do you want me to call Trini? What can we do? We don’t have powers.”

“Yes,” Kim said. “Come get me.” She rattled off the riddle to Billy. “Everything will be okay, I promise. You’ll find out where I am. Just track me.”

“It doesn’t sound like everything is okay,” Billy said. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“That’s right, you got it,” Kim said. Rita suddenly ripped the phone from Kim and threw it on the floor and blasted it with her staff. 

“That’s enough! Is she coming?”

“She is,” KIm said with a nod. “And she’s pissed.” Rita laughed.

“What can she do to me?? She has no powers.”

“What makes you think that?” Kim asked.

“There’s a different Yellow Ranger. Do you think I don’t know her fighting style? Do you think I can’t tell?”

“Well, I never took you for the brightest crayon in the box,” Kim shot at her.

“I don’t know what that means, but I do know I can get your Yellow. And it will all be your fault. I will make sure she knows that before I kill her,” growled Rita. 

“She’ll know it isn’t my fault,” Kim said. “She trusts me.”

“But you are leading her to her death!”

“Maybe,” Kim said, knowing that Trini wouldn’t come. “But you’ll have to kill me, too.”

“That can be arranged!”

.

Trini groggily awoke on the couch. She blinked and looked around. Tommy was asleep in the armchair beside her. It all came back to her. Kim. Kim was gone. She groaned and held her aching head. Her phone rang. She wasn’t going to answer it, but it was BIlly and she couldn’t ignore him.

“Hello?”

“Trini? I got a very odd phone call from Kim.” Trini sat up quickly.

“You heard from Kim?!”

“Yes? She thought I was you. Why would she think that?”

“I…I don’t know,” Trini admitted. “What did she say?”

“She said she was okay, but that she’s with Rita. Why is she with Rita?”

“Because,” Trini said. “Rita kidnapped her.”

“Oh,” he said. Then, “That’s not good.”

“What else did she say?”

“She said you would know where she is. That you should track her,” Billy said. He then repeated the riddle to Trini. “She said that was from Rita.”

“Of course,” Trini huffed. She was sick of Rita’s riddles. She closed her eyes and thought. Track…meant something, right? “Oh! Billy! You can track her! Right? Can you track the phone that call came from?”

“I think I can,” Billy said. “Do you know what the riddle means?”

“No, I have to think about it. But if you can track her then we’ll know exactly where she is and the Power Rangers can find her.” She was getting excited. It felt like hope. Her girl was so smart. 

“Let me see what I can do,” Billy said. “I’ll call you back.”

Trini called Kat to tell her the riddle and let her know that Billy was working on tracking the phone to find Kim’s location. Kat told her to keep her up to date. Trini hung up and got to her feet to go back to pacing. This time though she was pacing in anticipation. It had to work, right? Billy would find her? Yes, Billy could do anything. She trusted in him.

Tommy woke up and looked at Trini. “You okay?” Trini whipped around to her.

“Kim called Billy! He’s tracking the phone now.”

“What?”

“Kim called Billy, I guess she was saying it was me? I don’t know. But she called and he’s gonna track the phone that called him.”

“Why would Rita let Kim call when she can be tracked?”

“Because Rita’s an idiot and doesn’t know anything about phones! It doesn’t matter.” Trini shook her head, and she was overexcited. “We’re going to find her!”

“Okay…okay,” Tommy said. She sat upright. “But…let’s wait until we know if Billy has found her, okay? I don’t want you to be disappointed if he can’t.”

“He will,” Trini said emphatically. It was half an hour  later when her phone rang. “Billy! What’d you find?!”

“Well. Nothing at first .The phone Kim called from is offline, but I was able to triangulate it anyway. They’re at the old train depot, the one that is abandoned,” Billy said.

“Oh god. Thank you! Thank you, Billy. You’re the absolute best.”

“You’re welcome. Let me know when Kim comes home, okay?”

“I will.” She hung up and immediately called Kat and told her what Billy had found. She hung up again and looked up at Tommy. “They’re going to get her.” She sat down because she was trembling too hard. “I wish I could go with them.”

“I know,” Tommy said, sitting beside her. “But we have to wait.” Trini let out a derisive laugh.

“Like it’s that easy.”

“Maybe we can distract you,” Tommy said. “I bet Kim will be hungry when she comes home.”

“Right!” Trini jumped up. “I’ll make her dinner. She’s been gone for two days…she has to have eaten something.”

“Yeah, but she loves your food.”

“Right.” Trini nodded. She went into the kitchen and started preparing food.

.

Kim was still alone. Her head was hung and she felt defeated. It had been such a long time since she had spoken to Billy, and she was worried he didn’t get what she was suggesting. Maybe they’d never come to her. Would Rita kill her? Would she die of starvation? She knew there was nothing she could do either way, so she started thinking about all of her memories with Trini. The good ones, the bad ones, and the painful ones. But she kept circling back to the good ones. 

The thoughts and the weariness began to lull Kim to sleep. It was one of those weird stages of sleep where she was both awake and asleep. It was the only kind of sleep she had gotten while she was there. And it was broken, loudly, by the door crashing open. She startled and looked up in time to see a Red and Black Ranger busting in. They ran to her. Her heart soared. Tears hit her cheeks. 

“Get me down,” she begged. “Please.”

“We’re coming,” Rocky said, and they both retracted their visors so she could see their faces.. He and Adam rushed over and examined the cuffs around Kim’s wrists. 

“I can’t break out,” Kim said. “She did something to me. I don’t have my powers.”

“Just…hold on,” Rocky said. He yanked at the chains, but nothing happened. Adam grabbed onto one of the chains and looked at Rocky.

“On three.” Rocky nodded. “One, two, three!” And they both pulled as hard as they could. The chains broke and Kim fell to her feet. Her legs were unstable and asleep and she couldn’t get up. They both helped her to her feet and held onto her from either side. She still had the cuffs around her wrists and she tried to break out of them again, her wrists in pain. Rocky pulled something out of his pocket. It looked like a silver stone. 

“What is that?” She asked.

“Zordon gave it to us. It busts whatever it’s connected to,” said Rocky. “Hold your hands out.” Kim did. Rocky set the rock to one of the cuffs, and moments later the cuff broke open. He did the same to the other wrist, and she was free. Her wrists looked terrible, but she ignored them.

“What’s happening?” She asked.

“Kat and Aisha are fighting Rita. We have to get back to them,” Adam said. They both put their visors back down. They walked her up the steps into the main part of the depot then took her outside and sat her on the curb. 

“You need to stay here,” Rocky told her. “Will you be okay?”

“No! I want to fight!”

“You’re in no shape for that,” Adam said. “Just sit here, okay?”

“I can’t! This is personal! She wanted to kill me, and Trini!”

“Kim, you can’t even stand,” Adam pointed out softly. “Just wait for us. We’ll kill her once and for all.”

“Fine,” she said, exhausted. She wrapped her arms around her knees and dropped her head to the top of them. She wanted to call Trini, but she didn’t know where her phone was, and she knew the others didn’t have their phones on them. So she waited. She wanted to get up and walk home, but she knew she couldn’t on her own. 

God. She was alive. They found her. She could go home soon. Home to Trini. Trini, who possibly wasn’t her girlfriend anymore. No. She wouldn’t let that happen. They weren’t taking a break. She couldn’t bear it after all she went through. She sniffled, trying not to cry in relief, and waited.

.

Dinner was prepared and it was keeping warm in the oven. Trini was pacing again. She kept checking the time on her phone. Surely they had to have Kim by now. Why wasn’t Kim calling her?! She hoped hard that Kim wasn’t being stupid and fighting with the others. She couldn’t think about it. She knew Kim had to be too messed up to fight Rita. But she also knew Kim was stubborn as hell and would want to. Trini scratched her head and let out a frustrated growl.

She continued pacing around the house. She ended up in their bedroom and looked around. She didn’t want anything to change. She didn’t want to switch rooms with Tommy. She wanted Kim home in her arms and she wanted to forget all about taking a break. She would take Kim in any way she was. 

What felt like hours later, and possibly was, Trini was laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. She didn’t hear the door open, but she heard Tommy shout, “Kim!” Trini was up and out of that room in a flash. She ran to the front door and found Kim with Kat and Adam propping her up.

“Oh god, oh god,” Trini said, moving close to them. “Kim…” Her eyes welled up at the sight of Kim. She was dirty and sweaty. She looked like she could barely stand on her own two legs and Trini saw that Kim’s wrists were cut and bloody. She also smelled like urine.  “Kim.” She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her gently as though Kim would break if she hugged her as tight as she wanted to. “I was so scared,” she whispered against Kim’s ear.

“I’m home, baby,” Kim said softly. She leaned into Trini and Trini took her weight.

“She’s okay,” Kat said. “She just needs some time to repair herself.” Trini nodded, but just kept holding onto Kim.

“We’ll let her tell you everything,” Adam said. “We don’t need to be here.”

“Thank you,” Trini told them, not moving. “Thank you for bringing her home.”

“Always,” Kat said. They both patted Kim’s arms and told her to be well, and they were gone a moment later. Trini pulled back and looked Kim over.

“What do you need?” She asked. “There’s food…you can sleep…you can take a bath…just tell me what you need.” Kim tightened her arms around Trini and rested her head on Trini's shoulder, but she didn’t say anything. Trini held her a while longer and Tommy left the room to give them privacy. Trini pulled back a bit to look at Kim’s wrists. The sight hurt her heart. “We need to clean those up.” She made a decision and pulled Kim slightly. “Come on. Have a bath first.” Kim nodded and Trini took her weight again and walked her to the bathroom in their bedroom. She sat Kim down on the closed toilet seat and turned to the tub to fill it up. Once it was full enough she helped Kim undress and threw her clothes into the corner. She was going to throw them out. Kim didn’t need to wear that outfit again.

“Come on,” Trini said gently. “Step in.” Kim got into the tub and sank into it. “That’s good.” Trini left her for a moment to grab a washcloth then sat back down beside the tub. “Just relax, Princess.” And at that, maybe at the nickname, Kim started to cry silently. Trini reached out to brush Kim’s hair back, but Kim flinched and pulled away. “It’s okay,” Trini cooed. “It’s just me.” She waited and watched Kim. Kim leaned closer to her and Trini did it again, this time actually brushing her hair back. “It’s okay…just…cry. I’ve got you.” Kim reached up for Trini’s hand and held it between her own two. Tightly. “That’s right,” Trini went on. “I’m here.” Her free hand moved up to wipe away Kim’s tears. “When you’re ready we’ll wash all of this away, okay?” Kim nodded. She was crying harder and sniffling and her nose was running down her face, but Trini didn’t care. She was still beautiful.

After a long while, Kim wiped the back of her hand over her face. She flinched when her wrist grazed the hot water. Trini lifted her wrist up. “We have to clean these.”

“Just…get this stink off of me,” Kim said finally, her voice weak. “Please.”

“Okay,” Trini nodded. She picked up the bottle of soap and put some on the washcloth before starting to run it up and down Kim’s arms, avoiding her wrists for the time being. “Here we go,” she said softly. Kim nodded. Trini moved the washcloth to Kim’s neck and shoulders, then had her lean forward so she could get her back. Trini rinsed the washcloth in the tub, which was already filled with dirty water. She noticed this and sighed. “I’m gonna empty the tub and refill it, okay?”

“Okay,” Kim said. Trini pulled the plug on the drain and watched all the water circle out of the tub. When it was empty she turned on the faucet and started to run the bath again. While it was filling she took a cup from the bathroom counter and filled it with water. She brought it to kim and raised it to her lips. Kim drank greedily. She drank all of it, and Trini set the cup down. Kim took Trini’s hand again. “Make it hotter,” Kim begged.

“Sure.” Trini turned the knob to make the water hotter and waited.

“Hotter.”

“I don’t want to burn you,” Trini said gently. “I think this is hot enough.”

“It’s not,” Kim said, shaking her head, her voice wobbly. “It has to be hotter. I need it hotter.”

“Only a bit,” Trini said. She made it a little hotter and watched the steam rise. “Is it okay?”

“Hotter.”

“No.” Trini shook her head. “This is okay. You’re okay.”

“It’s all over me,” Kim whined. “Get it off.”

“I know, I know, Princess. But you’ll be okay. I’ve got you.” Kim finally nodded in agreement and closed her eyes. Trini put more soap on the washcloth and began cleaning Kim’s stomach and thighs. She wiped all the way down Kim’s legs and had to scrub at the dirt a little. “Good job,” Trini murmured. “Close your eyes.” Kim quickly shook her head. “It’ll be okay,” Trini assured her. “I just wanna clean your face.” Kim’s face was covered in dirt, dried snot, and dried tears.

“Don’t go,” Kim pleaded.

“I won’t go anywhere. Come on.” Trini waited. Kim looked at her for a long time then reached for Trini’s spare hand and squeezed it tightly. She closed her eyes. Trini gently cleaned Kim’s face and pulled back. “Okay, all done.” Kim’s eyes opened and she sniffed. “Lean back into the water to rinse off.” 

.

Kim nodded at Trini’s command. It took a moment, but she sunk under the water and let the soap melt off of her. She held her breath and didn’t move. It was good down there. Quiet, warm, and safe. She didn’t want to come up. It was too hard. She didn’t realize how traumatizing the whole thing was until she got out of it. She was terrified. Even with Trini right beside her, taking care of her, she was scared. She didn’t like closing her eyes so they were open under the water and burning from the soapy water. She didn’t care. She didn’t move. Until she absolutely had to breathe. She popped back up with a gasp.

“Good?” Trini asked. 

“I guess,” Kim said. She didn’t know how she would be good. Maybe ever. It felt hopeless at the moment. But…it felt so good to have Trini  there. From the moment Trini put her arms around her, Kim melted. It was all she had thought about for two days, and it felt so good. Even now, she needed to hold Trini’s hand and feel connected to her. She hated being clingy, but she couldn’t help it. She needed to cling to Trini. In fact, she wanted to get out of the tub and just lay in bed with Trini holding her. “Can we stop?” She asked, looking up at Trini from beneath her dark lashes.

“Yeah, we can.” Trini got to her feet and grabbed a towel to hold out for Kim. She used one hand to pull Kim up and help her out of the tub, leaning against Trini and getting her wet. Trini didn’t care. She wrapped the towel around her. “We still have to clean your wrists and wrap them up.” Kim nodded again.

“Okay,” she said. Trini helped her move back to the toilet to sit down. Then Trini bent down to grab supplies out from under the sink. She came back and took hold of one of Kim’s wrists. Kim felt…ashamed. She didn’t know why. She wanted to pull her arm back and hide her wrists from Trini, but she knew they had to be cared for. She closed her eyes and let Trini work. She flinched at the burn of antiseptic and whimpered at the gauze wrapped around her wrist. She felt Trini kiss her wrist gently after wrapping it and before moving onto the other. When Kim was all bandaged up and dry, Trini took her out to set her on the bed. She got some pajamas for Kim and helped her put them on. Trini looked up at her.

“Do you want to eat? Are you hungry?”

“I’m hungry but…I just want to stay in here for now.”

“Okay,” Trini said. “Do you wanna lay down?” Kim nodded. It was exactly what she wanted. Trini pulled the blankets down and Kim crawled between them and rested her head on her pillow. Trini stripped down to her underwear and shirt and climbed into bed beside her. “You good?” She whispered.

“Yeah…just…” She patted her back. Trini got the idea, because she slipped down and curled herself to Kim’s back and held onto her. She tightened her grip and kissed the back of Kim’s neck. Usually, they laid the other way around, but Kim needed it.

“I’ve got you,” Trini said again, softly. “I’ve got you, Princess. I’ve got you.”

“Hold me tighter,” Kim said, her voice breaking. “Hold me as tight as you can.” Hot tears spilled down her cheeks again. Trini held her with a hard grip and made soothing sounds in her ear. Kim tried to relax. She couldn’t. She still felt on edge. Terribly so. It felt like any minute she’d wake up in that basement again with Rita, and Trini wouldn’t be there. She cried harder, knowing that she was ugly crying and she didn’t care. She was too tired to care.

“I love you so much,” Trini whispered. “I’m sorry we fought. I’m sorry I was a bitch. I just want you, okay? Always.” Kim wanted to tell Trini that she wasn’t a bitch, that she had been right, but she couldn’t form words. She just wrapped her arms around Trini’s and pushed back against her. “Get some sleep, Princess. I’ve got you.” Kim nodded, still unable to speak. She wanted to say she loved Trini, too. That Trini was her light and her world in the dark place she was in. She wanted to tell Trini how she had been taken back to the ship and how she had given Zordon her coin. How she had done it for herself, sure, but also for Trini. But everything hurt too much. She’d tell her in the morning. She’d tell Trini she was done, that she was ready for the rest of their lives, and that she wanted to marry Trini. Not one day, but soon.

After a little while, Kim rolled over in Trini’s arms to face her. Trini stared into her eyes and they were quiet for a long time. Then Kim leaned in and kissed Trini. It was long and slow, and Kim savored it. “Baby, please touch me,” she said when they parted.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Trini said. “You’re still weak and hurting.”

“No. I can take it. Just touch me. Please.” Kim wanted to be connected to Trini in the best way they know how.

“Kim…”

“Trini, I need it,” Kim begged. “I need to be close to you. I need to feel good. Please.” Trini was quiet for a while before she moved up over Kim, but not laying on her. She gently tugged Kim’s pajama pants down her legs and leaned down to kiss her again. Kim kissed her back and reached up to hold Trini’s face, keeping her close. When they broke, Kim kept hold of Trini’s face.

“I love you,” she said, realizing she hadn’t said it yet. But she needed Trini to know. She needed Trini to know it forever.

“I know. I love you, too,” Trini whispered. “Just relax, okay?” Kim nodded and kissed Trini again. Trini reached between Kim’s legs. It was slow and gentle, and Trini treated her like she was porcelain. But she helped Kim and eased her through an orgasm. Kim melted into the bed after and groaned in pleasure. 

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“You’re welcome,” Trini said. “You’re always welcome.” She wrapped her arms around Kim again and held her close. “I was so scared,” Trini admitted.

“I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Not at all,” Trini said. She kissed Kim’s cheek and kept her lips pressed there. “I’m so glad you’re home.” Kim nodded. She didn’t want to talk anymore. She closed her eyes and leaned into Trini. 

She wanted to talk, she wanted to tell Trini everything, but there would be time for that. There would be time for everything. It was only the beginning of the rest of their lives.

#trimberly #trimberly fic #power rangers 2017 #my fics #leave while i'm not looking tag #wt23 tag #please rb if you like it! #or let me know what you liked most!