#you don't get to be indignant lmaoooo

[zalrb]

sidepieces being indignant when the political wife is like, have your affair as long as you're part of the team and know your role is my favourite thing

#like you're having an affair with her husband ma'am #you don't get to be indignant lmaoooo

[eijispumpkin]

at the beach, ash would normally fry like a lobster. however eiji makes sure to slather him in sunscreen and reminds him to reapply every time he goes into the water. ash trots over like an eager puppy and plops down so eiji can get his back.

shorter, watching all this: "lmaoooo dude you're so whipped for your man!!"

ash, indignant: "first of all if you were dating him you'd also be whipped, so don't even start, dipshit."

ash, gay: "also, you act like getting him to give me a back rub every hour or so is a bad thing???"

shorter: "pshhh. ok gayboy, go get your sunscreen, sheesh."

the next day, shorter not only has a horrible glasses tan, but also sports a Giant sunburn across his shoulders and back. he is SO morose about it, and whines excessively even as nadia chucks a bottle of aloe at him.

ash doesn't have a single burn. ash has never been so vindicated in his entire life. ash somehow invents a way to eat soup dumplings in the smuggest fashion on the planet.

eiji takes one look at shorter and laughs so hard he chokes on his own spit. he tells shorter he'll offer him sunscreen too, next time.

(he does, but he just uses it to draw nori nori on shorter's back.)

#eiji deserves to be a chaotic little gremlin bastard to everyone he knows (not just ash) <3 #asheiji #shorter wong #ash lynx #eiji okumura #headcanons #rambles