the-freckled-collective

[the-freckled-collective]

We got medically recognized/diagnosed last week.

I’d love to write out a long post, but no spoons and heavy dissociation. I just. Wanna share.

#did osdd #osdd system #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #did #didosdd #osdd 1b #did support #did system

[the-freckled-collective]

The 911 fandom after finally getting canon bi Buck after years of over explaining and pointing out the queer connotations and symbolism of Bucks character

[the-freckled-collective]

[the-freckled-collective]

Diagnosis???

So I started the process with a clinical psychologist to get a diagnosis. Issue is she was transphobic and unprofessional and just not great (and lying about her credentials). My actual therapist was wildly upset and felt terrible. We haven’t decided on next moves yet if i should try to go forward anyways or not, because it seems like the CLP may literally only diagnose me with adhd and nothing else because she refused to listen to me talk about DID, but ADHD was mentioned in passing and she suddenly made the entire appointment about that??

Anyways. So

The thing is, my real therapist who I fucking adore, won’t clinically diagnose me because she can’t do the assessments (she isn’t trained) and so she doesn’t feel comfortable right now doing so. (But she is taking the assessment classes because of me, so in 2-3 years no matter what she can😂) But she said I hit the score on the DES (which she comfortably can use) and I fit all of the criteria for OSDD/DID and she genuinely believes me. She’s even working with us as alters individually and she also has seen us switch.

What I’m trying to convince myself of, does this count enough as a diagnosis? I want a diagnosis to validate me because I have issues with believing myself. She can’t clinically diagnose me due to her own comfort, but she has essentially medically recognized me.

Would you all consider this a diagnosis?

(I am only asking as a way to validate my own thoughts. Not as a diagnosis. Just as a way to quell my concerns and validate myself so I can get some relief and stop trying to gaslight myself.)

Tl;dr

Basically medically recognized, undiagnosed due to therapist not having done assessment courses and no clinical psychologistswho can test in the area: does this count as diagnosis?

#did osdd #osdd system #didosdd #did support #did #did system #actually did #traumagenic did #did community #traumagenic osdd #osdd things #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #osdd support #osdd 1a #osdd 1b #osdd #osddid #actually osdd

[the-freckled-collective]

Shoutout to systems (highly specific version):

- Systems who feel like they're faking because they have memory keepers with horrible memory because the body has multiple other disorders that affect memory

- Systems who have abuser introjects who are really kind, nice and nothing like source

- Systems with struggling gatekeepers that barely can do their job

- Systems who have in-system romantic and/or sex life

- Systems who feel like their headspace is ever growing and expanding like the fabric of space

- Systems who have low-tolerance to stress and end up splitting a lot because of it

- Systems who have high-tolerance to stress and still don't know why they're splitting so much

- Systems who have a healthy family dynamic internally even though their actual family dynamic is not healthy

- Systems with morally questionable in-system dynamics

- Systems who physically turn around as a way to look at their headspace

- Systems with lots and lots of in-system pet NPCs

- Systems who despise fried eggs

[the-freckled-collective]

It's completely fine to go several weeks without hearing from other alters by the way

[the-freckled-collective]

If anyone has any system servers that are safe and somewhat active, please send them our way. We no longer feel safe enough in the server we’re in and we’ve been having a hard time finding new ones.

We don’t have any real requirements. Just… somewhat active, preferably not massive, traumagenic preferred as that’s our experience. (WE WILL NOT BE DISCUSSING SYSCOURSE. WE ARE JUST STATING WHAT WE ARE.)

Please dm us here or message us on discord @firefly_flickers

#system community #system vent #system server #system #dissociative system #did osdd #osdd system #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #pdid #did #didosdd #did support #did system #syscord #system discord #discord #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative identities #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #polyfrag did

[the-freckled-collective]

#pfp possibility #it’s me! #freckles lantern #lantern freckles #the freckles #the freckled collective #tfc #shell: text #🏮: text #🏮

[the-freckled-collective]

#this has nothing to do with our blog #but i do believe it is quite beautiful #freckles #lantern freckles #freckles lantern #🏮: text #shell: text #i apologize for not remembering how to tag these!

[the-freckled-collective]

via weheartit

[the-freckled-collective]

I

Does anyone know any systems that function like i believe we do? I wanna feel… less sorta…crazy?

We seem to have fragments that.. sorta coalesce into alters. If that alter isn’t…perfect or exactly what’s needed, they break back to fragments until they can form into a better/more solidified person. On occasion it seems once prominent alters, now needed less or in a different capacity or a… less ‘perfected’ version of what we need, will retreat to barely ever fronting. Almost like pieces of them have been.. copied and pasted onto a new headmate who is a more perfected type of the original part?…. (I don’t want to say they vanish entirely, because it doesn’t seem like they do. I’ve only been aware of one that entirely… fused/went dormant due to this process. The others seem to just… not front much or communication becomes even less existent in a system that’s already zilch.)

And sometimes we only have like… the building blocks to these fragments. Like “this part seems like they exist but they haven’t spoken and I haven’t seen them around but it *feels* like their presence is there somehow anyway”. (Unsure if they’ll ever fully… exist or not. Sometimes it seems like they do. Sometimes it’s just this continued presence of feeling like they’re right around the corner but there’s no… corporeal evidence.)

Probably more i could add but i forgot rn

#did osdd #osdd system #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #pdid #did #didosdd

[the-freckled-collective]

#pfp possibility

[the-freckled-collective]

Distress (2014) - Jacob Robert Price

#pfp possibility

[the-freckled-collective]

Hey! So host is panicking as always /lh Any idea how to tell if a new fictive exists or if it’s just hyperfixation brain fodder?

#did osdd #osdd system #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #pdid #did #didosdd #n: text #fictives

[the-freckled-collective]

Brain has done that thing again. Where it’s like someone emptied out all the drawers, but didn’t wipe the dust. I know I should have more… i dunno memories but not. Like. I should know more about my own experiences. I know I’ve spoken in this server a lot about my experiences and how I feel and all the stuff that points towards system. But I don’t remember any of it. It’s like I can see the backs of those things, but I go to turn them around and they vanish. And I hate that it does this. It does it with experiences, *with friends*, with everything. And I hate it because I want to remember and not feel even more lost…. And it’s getting worse. I just drove my sister to work. Muscle memory is the only reason I could get there. And then on the way home I nearly started crying because there was roadwork and I couldn’t remember which side of the road I was meant to be driving on when the one lne became two again. I just… eish this would stop.

Anyone else experience this?

#osdd system #did osdd #partial dissociative identity disorder #pdid system #osdd community #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #pdid #did #didosdd

[the-freckled-collective]

The denial is killing me recently. Someone (outside of us) triggered it. And I can’t make it stop. And I think the holiday made it worse…. And I’m… Im so ready to give up right now. I just can’t find proof and it’s a bad time and I feel so alone….

#osdd system #osddid #osdd community #pdid #pdid system #did #partial did #did osdd

[the-freckled-collective]

I am considering changing our system name 👀

#asc: text #osdd stuff #did osdd #osdd community