the-starset-system

[the-starset-system]

So many words, so many words, so many words.

It honestly blows my mind that people are happy to defend someone who denies others trauma and then turns around and says (which I do believe) well I have trauma. It is gut wrenching.

I am impulsive, mean when I need to be (certainly not proud of it), but I'm not a liar. Anything can be traumatizing when you can't cope, and having your safe space destroyed because someone is spreading thousands of rumors around the internet, doxxing you, and sending you various amounts of threats, well, I'd consider that pretty damn traumatizing.

And the funniest part, hornet, is you do it AGAIN. You had no fucking right to do this shit again, no matter how mad you may be. You call me fake, you stretch the truth thin, and you continue to get rid of every safe space I have. All for what, hornet?

All I want is to put my final words out, but you can't handle that as always. It was always like that, huh?

Hornet, I could do so much fucked up shit, and that's not a threat, it's a simple truth, but I would never silence your side. I know everything was fucking terrible, that you want to wash this away, but understand that you got a closure we never got. I never said my words, I stayed quiet as you lied, moved on to other places, cried in fucking therapist offices, and when I accidentally logged into the wrong account and ended up here, it made me painfully aware how much all the words I need to say are itching under the skin. And congratulations! Because you do what you do best and make me feel like giving up. If I have to wake up with dread and go to sleep with dread then this isn't worth it, but I'm not stopping.

One last thing before I post this:

Get some decent morals, hornet. Can you not see how shitty the things you say and do are? Can you not see how you hurt us repeatedly, call us liars, steal our safety?

I do not wish harm upon you, not a single bad day, not even guilt, but I really can't say the same for you.

[the-starset-system]

the bald dude is wonderful, thank you /lh - kaeya

Yes! Bald supremacy lmao

[the-starset-system]

yeah, of course!! we'll leave the inbox open for you guys! <3 - kaeya

Thank you! I would send you a cat picture to express my feelings because I apparently have an inability to put them into words, but a bald dude will do ig /hj

[the-starset-system]

we'll miss you guys!! we talked on and off but we appreciate you all a lot. feel free to come around on anon or something later on if you want, you'll always be welcome here! take care of yourselves, alright? - kaeya and the arcadian system <3

Thank you, that really means a lot, and we probably will take you up on that too. You guys are really nice and our conversations have always been lovely, so thank you, really! <3

[the-starset-system]

Im Sorry I couldn’t prove that they doxxed me. I’m sorry I couldn’t show you they doxxed me. I’m sorry I refused to doxx myself to a complete stranger just to prove that they doxxed me. I’m sorry I couldn’t show you they gaslit me. I’m sorry I couldn’t prove to you that they manipulated me. I’m sorry I could not properly explain to you why I blew up at them after they ignored my friends triggers. I’m sorry I refused to be civil with them when they would actively ignore my boundaries. I’m sorry that I could not show you the ways that they hurt me in a way you would agree with.

Actually

Fuck this

I do not owe you an apology. I definitely do not owe them an apology. And the stranger who tried to get me to doxx myself just so they could villainize me when I didn’t can go fucking choke. 

You deserve nothing after ignoring me when I asked for help. I pity you and your shallowness to truly believe that they hadn’t done that. 

But you know what? I’m washing my hands of you. I am washing my hands of them. I am washing my hands of that damned server. And I am washing my hands of him. 

If they are celebrated for treating me the same as a predator simply because I finally spoke out and said something about their treatment of me than I am going to willingly wash my hands of this situation.

I refuse to care about how I wake up in a dead sweat sometimes knowing that you know where I live

I refuse to care about the panic attacks I have knowing that you would dox me simply for saying that I don’t want you near me

I refuse to think, to care, to spend one more fucking moment thinking about how you hurt me. About how you support them after they hurt me. 

And yeah, since you let your beloved partner threaten violence to us simply because we called out your bullshit I am still fucking scared because of that. Because we both know what you know. And we both know if you felt so inclined you could give them the information to do it to us. 

So yeah. I’m not sorry, and Canvas for all it’s worth I hope you never feel this way. Because while you may not have an ounce of sympathy or compassion I would not wish this pain on anyone. 

[the-starset-system]

Hi y'all,

Long time no see, huh? It's only been a few months but man is this a nostalgia trip. Regardless, hello from some older Starsets!

We're not staying, but seriously, thank you for everyone who supported us and showed so much kindness along the way, I think about you a lot.

I feel guilty for leaving all of a sudden, really. This blog kept us going through some of the worst times, but I really just can't be here anymore. It feels dirty, tainted.

I'll be saying my peice soon, and I'm sorry to leave you all behind, but so many bad things lay here, things that you guys may not even know about. It's hard really even just writing this, seeing everything left as it was. It's like being dropped into cold water, like no time has passed. My hands shake and I can't get tears to leave me alone. I don't say this to guilt-trip either, and honestly the fact I feel the need to clarify that alone is really sad.

I say this because I need to though, a lot of the stuff here was really traumatic. I feel like I've healed enough over the few months to share our story, and it's one I'm desperate to finally put a close to. I don't think I'll ever have peace around this again if I don't.

It's not hard to see I am still suffering though, given just the physical reactions I'm having alone. With that in mind, I'll be working hard to write, but I can't promise it will be tomorrow or the next day that I share my story. It's a lot to work through and there is a lot of emotions tangled. I hope you understand, you've hung around this long (which I appreciate), so I'm sure a little while longer will be okay.

I really do miss a lot of you though, and if I wasn't so worried for our safety I would give out our contact info in DMs. Some of us have already crossed paths elsewhere though, we're not gone. We've just moved on. We're even working hard to pursue our dreams of branching out into other kinds of content creation, so you could stumble on us anywhere (though we will always stay anonymous, funny thing is that this blog actually started as a sort of testing the waters idea, and while it's been rough, we know online entertainment is a passion that can't be smothered).

While I would continue to let all my feelings pour out here though, I am busy. If anyone wants to stalk around our inbox, we'll try our best to answer though. We'll likely make more posts here as well, just updating how we are and what's changed, but those are different posts for another day.

With all being said though, we'll see you guys later. We sincerely, to the bottom of our heart, wish you all a good year though, thank you for having made ours tolerable.

- The Starset System

[the-starset-system]

if you think you‘re a “natural system” who was “born plural”… I need you to understand that… that’s how DID/OSDD/UDD work a large majority of the time.

you became a system due to trauma that occurred in early childhood. that, combined with the memory issues associated with systemhood, means that you are unlikely to remember a time before being a system.

feeling like you were born a system doesn’t make it true. I used to feel that way too. I get it. it just turns out that I have a disorder designed to protect me from traumatic memories. it just turns out I have a disorder that onsets at a young age.

once you discover that you’re a system, and you start to think about your past through the lens of systemhood, you’re going to have lots of complex feelings. those feelings are valid. but they’re not always in line with reality.

#op #op your good #that was good #omg reread it and op that was really good #opening line made my heart drop but then you whipped out the memory issues #just love how you went about this and phrased it #good post #roar.exe #👾 #🩹 #rebloog #queue 🌠 #tw trauma #tw childhood trauma

[the-starset-system]

may be a controversial take but i don’t think DID needs any more mainstream attention. i don’t think the average person needs to know everything about this disorder. we don’t need more media representation

psychiatric and medical professionals need to learn about us but the average person doesn’t. or at least not through hollywood and probably not through tiktok either

i don’t want any more movies or tv shows written about us because i can’t see anyone (except maybe another system) doing it in a way that wouldn’t be harmful to us

#i get what you mean #it feels like no matter what producers will always do it wrong and exposure will always lead to one too many judgy eyes #too many people think the disorder is fun too #more exposure just leads to a larger crowd of both fakeclaimers and romanticizers #not to mention yt movie critics who of course ppl will listen to them over any disordered voice #the best bet you can get with this stuff is a genuine documentary and even the ones ive seen have done something wrong #it sucks #i think there needs to be a lot more studies and research done (even tho theres already a fair amount) before trying to make movies #ppl who arent a loved one of a system dont really need to know the intricate details anyways #we should be working on making stuff aimed for loved ones who wanna help them #i probably should have just added on to the post instead of ramble in the tags but mmm #head full lots of opinions #roar.exe #👾 #🩹 #rebloog #queue 🌠

[the-starset-system]

*innerwold trauma unlocked*

#if i had a drink i would have spit it out but ig ill settle for making a noise the mix between a wheeze and sneeze #roar.exe #👾 #🩹 #rebloog #funnies #tw trauma mention #queue 🌠

[the-starset-system]

meeting a new alter like "where the fuck did you form from??"

#😭😭😭 #roar.exe #👾 #🩹 #rebloog #funnies #queue 🌠 #tw swearing

[the-starset-system]

Honestly? Going to the library as a system is so chaotic. I really just had a semi-breakdown in the recipe section, dissociated in the queer stuff section for a little too long, and left with 2 books on how to cure anxiety, a children's book, some gay book, and 2 graphic novels. All while subtly trying to take as many bookmarks as possible

#now to figure out why we did this cause uh #sadly dyslexia doesnt skip anyone in the system #roar.exe #👾 #🩹 #queue 🌠 #funnies #did #dissociative identity disorder #did memes #endos dni

[the-starset-system]

Impasta, who could it be?? -Cheese Anon

I bet it's the ramen, the microwaved one too

#microwave ramen hate club #roar.exe #👾 #ask response #funny asks #cheese anon

[the-starset-system]

Noodles you /pasta

Pasta.... THERES AN IMPASTA? OH NO GOTTA CALL A MEETING

#among us has ruined me #it takes me five aecond how to even spell it right #amongus #roar.exe #👾 #ask response #funny asks

[the-starset-system]

Oooo, what kind of cheese?

Idk the cheap kind lmao

#like those slices you get wrapped in plastic #roar.exe #👾 #ask response

[the-starset-system]

What's your opinion on cheese?

At this point it's probably the only food keeping me alive

#roar.exe #👾 #ask response #funny asks

[the-starset-system]

Just a reminder, if you send us hateful asks we will usually just block. Regardless of your feelings on us, spending half an hour just filling up our inbox isn't healthy for you.

#its really uncalled for #roar.exe #👾 #funkyjams

[the-starset-system]

*Feeds you spaghetti*

#very nice #i will do a nom #roar.exe #👾 #ask response #funny asks #favorite asks