theemomarshmallow

[theemomarshmallow]

As cliché as it may be you really are not alone in this world, friend 💛

[theemomarshmallow]

Fucking lovely.

Don Wilson:

"I have noticed a significant increase in general laxity about PPE since COVID masking has been dropped. A significant % of OR staff (esp anesthesia & RTs) not bothering to mask inside actual OR even when sterile fields are open & set up.

Nurses inside OR generally much more consistent (they directly handle & set up sterile equipment).

I’ve seen unmasked anesthesiologists & RTs for emergency CS & gyne cases… I don’t get it. We mask to prevent contamination of open surgical wounds. Just because COVID mask mandates are over doesn’t mean INSIDE an operating room is a mask free zone.

Used to be that it was unthinkable to be unmasked inside an active OR. Even in the hallways during active OR time. It’s a sad commentary on the impact of the antimask stupidity spilling over to areas where it can impact quality & safety of the patient care environment.

I’m just one person who chooses to be fastidious about masking inside the hospital, I can’t take on the entire system. But it’s discouraging to see & I wonder how many patients go on to have nosocomial surgical infections because of relaxed cultures around masking now."

https://x.com/heiltsuk_paleo/status/1780326358314614784

[theemomarshmallow]

Happiness advice is hard to compose, since we're all born with different brains, producing different chemicals in different quantities at different levels of efficiency.

"Try regular exercise!" chirrups an influencer whose brain has never known a day of depression in its squiggly grey life.

But I do think I've noticed behaviours that poison joy, and I haven't ever heard it as advice. My theory: bullying is bad for your happiness.

Of the four types of bullying, three of them - intimidation, humiliation and harassment - are usually committed by insecure people, trying to make themselves feel more powerful by taking that power from another.

(The fourth type of bullying is exclusion, and I have no citations for any of this, since it's just a bunch of stuff I reckon. I do think I'm right though, for what it's worth.)

The least happy comedians I've met are the ones who smoke weed in their flats while watching and scoffing at clips of their rivals. Their enemies. Their friends.

I'm slightly transfixed by the story of a relatively well-known comedian who became obsessed with the Instagram stories of an amateur comic. The established comic would watch the videos, share them with friends, play them at parties - mocking the comic's lack of self-awareness.

This newer comedian wasn't internet famous or anything. Just a guy starting out, trying his hand.

To operate like this, you must believe that some people have value, and others do not. Once you've decided this, how can you expect your brain to permanently accept that you're one of the worthy? You can make yourself feel powerful in the short term by humiliating another. But in the long term, you curate a worldview where a person's eccentricities are a reason they deserve to suffer.

Good luck enjoying what you see in the mirror.

[theemomarshmallow]

maybe it's just because i spend my time scrounging around libraries and itch.io and such but i'm often bewildered whenever people talk about everything becoming the same or death of art or everyone being afraid to Get Weird with It. i promise people are still out there getting weird with it. the hegemonic mainstream art remains hegemonic and mainstream like usual. counterculture remains counterculture. as usual. interesting and somewhat off-putting zines cost a little more but the cost of living is pretty high right now, and i don't particularly mind giving an independent artist a few more bucks for their work

[theemomarshmallow]

Me trying to work up the courage to say hi to the neighbors 😭

I am being put into a position where "doing it scared" is my only option grgrgrrgrgr

#like why can’t I Just Do It #and not be horribly anxious of being rejected #so far it seems like there’s not many others if any like me here #and I want to build community #fuckin’ hell I’m terrified

[theemomarshmallow]

So the destruction of the Institute of Sexology is in a lot of people's minds right now, which is fantastic. In a world where more and more books are being banned, thinking and talking about the extremes of this behavior is absolutely necessary. But I would really like to talk about some actionable steps you can take right now to preserve and uplift queer voices.

Request queer books from your local library (here is a massive list of queer books, it is an affiliate link).

Look into indie queer books that are coming out, the publishing industry is messy at the best times, and we are not in the best of times. I follow Queer Book Box to keep updated on recent indie releases, they are also just an all-around great project.

Do some research and see if there is a queer bookstore near you, and support it if you can.

If reading is a part of your social media presence, it might be worth seeing if you can/want to participate in Trans Rights Readathon.

Buy queer books (see massive list above).

Show up to local meetings/elections.

Email your representative to talk about your concerns if queer book banning is happening in your area.

Support queer projects running right now, I may be biased but Making Queer History is worth checking out, and so is Queer Nature and LGBTQ Reads, but also look local. See what is in your area and see what they need.

Follow and uplift queer projects on social media.

Learn and share queer history.

If you create art and are queer, keep doing that, please do not give up or hide away.

Queer history is being made right now. People are going to look at how we as a community responded to our voices being silenced, and I hope this helps you decide how you want to be a part of that story.

[theemomarshmallow]

All of this 💔

a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints

#actually autistic #neurodivergent #autistic things #autistic adult #my worst fears have been realized #i should trust my instincts sometimes #autism #asd #autistic #autistic community

[theemomarshmallow]

The nazis that you see in movies are as much a historical fantasy as vikings with horned helmets and samurai cutting people in half.

The nazis were not some vague evil that wanted to hurt people for the sake of hurting them. They had specific goals which furthered a far right agenda, and they wanted to do harm to very specific groups, (largely slavs, jews, Romani, queer people, communists/leftists, and disabled people.)

The nazis didn't use soldiers in creepy gas masks as their main imagery that they sold to the german people, they used blond haired blue eyed families. Nor did they stand up on podiums saying that would wage an endless and brutal war, they gave speeches about protecting white Christian society from degenerates just like how conservatives do today.

Nazis weren't atheists or pagans. They were deeply Christian and Christianity was part of their ideology just like it is for modern conservatives. They spoke at lengths about defending their Christian nation from godless leftism. The ones who hated the catholic church hated it for protestant reasons. Nazi occultism was fringe within the party and never expected to become mainstream, and those occultists were still Christian, none of them ever claimed to be Satanists or Asatru.

Nazis were also not queer or disabled. They killed those groups, before they had a chance to kill almost anyone else actually. Despite the amount of disabled nazis or queer/queer coded nazis you'll see in movies and on TV, in reality they were very cishet and very able bodied. There was one high ranking nazi early on who was gay and the other nazis killed him for that. Saying the nazis were gay or disabled makes about as much sense as saying they were Jewish.

The nazis weren't mentally ill. As previously mentioned they hated disabled people, and this unquestionably included anyone neurodivergent. When the surviving nazi war criminals were given psychological tests after the war, they were shown to be some of the most neurotypical people out there.

The nazis weren't socialists. Full stop. They hated socialists. They got elected on hating socialists. They killed socialists. Hating all forms of lefitsm was a big part of their ideology, and especially a big part of how they sold themselves.

The nazis were not the supervillians you see on screen, not because they didn't do horrible things in real life, they most certainly did, but because they weren't that vague apolitical evil that exists for white American action heros to fight. They did horrible things because they had a right wing authoritarian political ideology, an ideology that is fundamentally the same as what most of the modern right wing believes.

[theemomarshmallow]

MY MAN ED BALLS!!

Wait… Isn’t Ed Balls day coming up? ED BALLS DAY, I HAVE TO GET READY TO CELEBRATE 

[theemomarshmallow]

I’m going to unlearn shame *bursts into tears and beats my head against a brick wall*

[theemomarshmallow]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[theemomarshmallow]

Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.

People make shit. It’s what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, “hey, wouldn’t that be fucked up? Wild, right?”

Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.

I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I’m not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don’t think I can’t handle it, I don’t watch it. It’s that simple.

[theemomarshmallow]

so back when i was teaching, one of the things i learned to look for were the "mood makers", as i liked to call them, of the classes. there were always 2 or 3 per class, and it was easy to find them in the first few days. you got those kids on your side, and it was a ripple effect with the rest of the students - they would all follow. so winning those kids over was huge when it came to how the year would play out. and from time to time, whenever the class was sort of faltering - middle of winter, of a big project, burn-out high - i would lean back in on those mood makers again to turn things around.

one particular class, when we had a big multi-month group project happening, were just... really struggling with getting their shit together lol. they were supposed to be practicing their presentations (english speaking class) and they were doing pretty much anything but, and their presentations were supposed to start the next class day. they were also PANICKING as i started giving out some feedback - which was NOT GREAT - as they were running through the lines they were supposed to be remembering. after realizing all of them needed so much extra work, i decided we needed to have a turn-around, so i invited one of the mood makers up to the front. i held out a cup to him, with two papers inside.

"one of them," i said, "says tuesday, and if you draw that, presentations go as planned. but one of them says thursday, and if you choose that one, everyone gets extra time to practice."

everyone was like OH SHIT. OKAY. THIS IS IT. and this mood maker, he was a big personality (they usually are) so i knew he'd really ham this up, and he did. we made a huge deal, with drum-rolls and everything, of him picking one out of the cup. he opened it up the paper and announced THURSDAY to a round of huge cheers. he was the class hero. everyone had TONS of motivation to work super hard on this gifted extra day, and really put the time in. their presentations were great. morale SOARED.

the plot twist was that both papers said thursday, because they all needed the extra time. my forever teacher advice: find creative ways to make things happen so that you get the buy-in from the class.

[theemomarshmallow]

It pisses me the fuck off that yoga is actually ancient and really good for you. Part of me still feels like it was invented to extract wealth from white socal moms.

[theemomarshmallow]

"This is something Autistics commonly do" and "this is something everyone does at points" can and do exist together.

"That isn't an autistic thing. Everyone does that." Yes, but the post is to autistics, by an autistic, about autism.

Coming into autism spaces, where we are asking for help or looking for others who suffer as we suffer, and trying to invalidate that experience as "something everyone does" is not as big of a flex as you think.

Yes, everyone struggles with the things autistics struggle with.

No, it isn't the same experience.

[theemomarshmallow]

At this point just existing is work.

There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.

This is because everything in my life requires work:

maintaining friendships

keeping up with my hygiene

managing bills

making money

remembering my basic needs

sleeping regularly

outputting creatively

All requires some aspect of work for me.

And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.

If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.

If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.

You're not dysfunctional.

You're not incapable.

You're doing your best.

[theemomarshmallow]

There's a whole bunch of TikTok drama at the moment after someone posted a video asking "would you rather be alone in the woods with a bear or a strange man?"

And the men are *very upset* that nearly every woman replied with "....obviously a bear."

It's honestly wild (I think some of these guys think that bears are movie monsters, craving human flesh).

But it boils down to this- they want you to expect the worst from the bear and the best from the stranger, and they are deeply offended that this isn't the case. 🤷