toastyblackcat

[toastyblackcat]

thinking fondly abt souheki again,,,,

dazai finding someone as amazing as an ability user (if not more) who can keep up with him and being reassured that he isnt actually taking away their ability, a part of them and their humanity, whenever he touches them(bc we all know dazai is the touchy one) and dazai genuinely thinks ranpo is so amazing anyway and he trusts him so much.

ranpo finding someone who has also felt so out of touch with the rest of humanity, who couldn't understand why people are the way they are and why he feels so different and lost. someone who can keep up with him mentally and never doubts or berates him, someone who defends him from those who do.

smth about souheki man,,,, i love them sm 😭😭😭

[toastyblackcat]

i love that gojo has no concept of personal space

[toastyblackcat]

can't stop thinking about ranpo being the one person dazai is close to who he can touch without worrying about nlh., with everyone else, every touch is paired with the sensation of his ability cancelling out theirs but with ranpo it's just. normal touch. and it's so strange and almost eerie at first because casual touch is always so much. dazai's touch is meant to be used as a weapon, and he's forcibly reminded of that every time he pats atsushi's head or pokes kunikida's cheek or brushes up against kenji. gentle, casual, touch is not what dazai is meant for.

but then he touches ranpo and there's nothing. there's just the surface-level feeling of his hair pinched between dazai's fingers. he touches ranpo, and it's only skin-deep. ranpo touches him, and never once flinches at the sensation of no longer human. and dazai starts to think maybe his touch doesn't have to be a weapon all the time, maybe just this once, it can be skin-deep and gentle. maybe with ranpo, he can learn how touch is supposed to feel.

[toastyblackcat]

laying in bed like a wounded animal because i haven’t gotten enough attention

[toastyblackcat]

the key to not fanonizing your faves is to simply become academia-brained about it. never make a statement about a character you can’t back up with at least three references to the source material

[toastyblackcat]

Update on my Siglai fic

It's finished. I just need to spell check but it's 4am and I don't trust my brain to do that right now. It should be out tomorrow.

Ignore if they're kinda ooc, my characterisation of Nikolai was never there and Sigma kinda fell off. Also I know I said hinted Kunizai but boy did I mean hinted- they interact in the background and Kunikida comes back to their house.

[toastyblackcat]

YEAHHHHHHHHHH

Update on my Siglai fic

It's finished. I just need to spell check but it's 4am and I don't trust my brain to do that right now. It should be out tomorrow.

Ignore if they're kinda ooc, my characterisation of Nikolai was never there and Sigma kinda fell off. Also I know I said hinted Kunizai but boy did I mean hinted- they interact in the background and Kunikida comes back to their house.

[toastyblackcat]

Fandoms are mashing in my brain and now I'm just thinking about how Bsd's Chuuya Nakahara's pencil scar and Jason Grace's stapler scar both symbolise a childhood that they were stolen from.

Both of them were feared and put on a pedestal because of their powers. They are the strongest, they are the protectors and reluctant leaders.

Both of them lose their memories and those scars from childhood are the only proof they have that they're human.

[toastyblackcat]

#be sat there like #i imagine death so much it feels like a memory is this where it gets me... on my feet.. several feet ahead of me #blah blah shut up Alexander #ALEXANDER HAMILTON IS LIGHT YAGAMI??? #the reynolds pamphlet **death note op 1 starts playing** #death note #hamilton

[toastyblackcat]

if I said flu game or so much (for) stardust by fall out boy. or don't blame me by James marriott

BSD TUMBLR AND TOXIC YAOI ENTHUSIASTS PLS DROP UR FAVORITE SKK CODED SONGS IM TRYING TO BUILD MY PLAYLIST‼️‼️

[toastyblackcat]

Would anyone be interested in a fluffy lil (smutty) Siglai fic in a modern au?

Transman Sigma and Cis Nikolai

Sigma moved from Poland and lives with Dazai and Dazai's dad Mori

Background (hinted) Kunizai

Not much plot though there is a timeline in my head

Here's a snippet of the non smut part

#YES !! #bsd #siglai

[toastyblackcat]

THAT IS SO TASTY OH MY GOD

look at this loser getting possessed lmao

#good soup #LET ME EAT #oh my hod #and thank you #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd nikolai #bungo stray dogs fanart #bsd fyodor #nikolai gogol #bsd 114 #bsd114 #nikolai fanart #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai bsd #fyodor #fyodor bsd #fyodor dostoevsky

[toastyblackcat]

I hope Fyodor is in Nikolai's body now and that he's forced to experience Nikolai's love for him in such a way that he can't escape because he's joined them irrevocably. I hope it does something deranged to his psyche to parasitically gorge himself on someone who had, with utter, grief-stricken sincerity, mourned him.

I hope Fyodor drowns in the horrifying waves of intimacy as he subsumes the only person who didn't need a lobotomy to adore him.

[toastyblackcat]

So if I understand Fyodor's ability correctly-

[toastyblackcat]

[ID: Two panels from the BSD manga. The first shows Fyodor, clear eyed with an open expression, asking "What year is it?". The second shows Dazai looking down at "Fyodor's" corpse, saying "Then who the hell is this?" End ID.]

You guys. You GUYS. I feel so vindicated - it was significant!

And also I'm bringing this potential reference back because I forgot about it until right now.

[ID: Part of a white book cover. The author is Dostoevsky. The title is The Double. End ID.]

"Constantly rebuffed from the social circles he aspires to frequent, the timid clerk Golyadkin is confronted by the sudden appearance of his double, a more brazen, confident and socially successful version of himself, who abuses and victimizes the original. As he is increasingly persecuted, Golyadkin finds his social, romantic and professional life unravelling, in a spiral that leads to a catastrophic denouement."

"One critic wrote that The Double's main idea is that "the human will in its search for total freedom of expression becomes a self-destructive impulse"."

[ID: A screenshot of a paragraph from The Double's wikipedia page. The sections of note are highlighted: "The Double is the most Gogolesque of Dostoevsky's works", "a parody of "The Overcoat"", "Dostoevsky alters and wholly repeats Gogol's phrases". End ID.]

...Nikolai, I'm so sorry buddy, but I think you're screwed.

[toastyblackcat]

In science class we were learning about DNA and shit and my teacher brought up cloning, and my autistic ass immediately thought about Chuuya (and the clones from star wars i must be true to my roots) and how he has a clone.

Then I remembered that even if we were to clone someone, the things that make them them are all the experiences they've had. Their memories. And then because I was still thinking about Chuuya I got sad bc like.

Hair is supposed to hold memories and he still hasn't let the part that Verlaine ripped out grow back. He lets the other side get long though.He wears the hat from his brother and uses a bike from his friend.

We know that Chuuya isn't a clone but it never mattered at all because our Chuuya had the experiences that made him human.

#WAHGHGGGGGSGSGGSGSGGSAHJA

[toastyblackcat]

Writing teenage Fyozai is all fun and games until I think about Fyodor too much and realise my idea of him will hold him back from forming an easy relationship with Dazai.

Not only is he closeted with heavily religious parents, he's religious himself and deals with internal conflict regarding his sexuality.

Dazai on the other hand, is openingly bisexual, secretly trans (FTM) and definitely doesn't have a crush on Fyodor.

Fyodor has no problems with Dazai being bisexual, infact he envies him for being out so easily, but if Dazai ever once tries to bring up his religion in regards to them being anything? No. Fyodor can't do that.

Doesn't help that I see Fyodor as Demiromantic/Demisexual on the Asexual spectrum.

Then Dazai, who wants nothing more than for Fyodor to like him back and want him to, and Fyodor who just cant, no matter how much he wants to.

Anyway in my current work they're currently awkwardly watching Sausage Party.

Don't attack me if you think this is ooc for them let me speak my truth

#SPEAK UR TRUTH HOMIE