tossyouforedinburgh

[tossyouforedinburgh]

"Crowley, the spare room is full of car radios. is there... a particular reason for this?" Aziraphale frowned.

"oh. oh, yeah. I'm... looking after them. for a friend. they're not stolen," Crowley said quickly, in the manner of someone without a guilty conscience. "and I have to go out this afternoon. I've got... er... a mobile phone contract to... sort out."

"you don't have any friends," the angel said, without malice. a simple fact. "the shovels? the spray paint? the mysterious computer that has instructions on how to hack the stock market on it, those belong to uh, your friend, as well?"

"oh, yeah. they're for the coffee shop. they belong to... the coffee one. Mina? great friend of mine. what do you need the space in the spare room for, anyway?"

Aziraphale shuffled from foot to foot, thinking as quickly as he could. "well certainly not for any good deeds, obviously. a neutral act of... getting some books to children who need them. a completely reasonable act of retirement. and if you need some coins for any neutral deeds there's a jar of them behind the woolly hats I'm not going to hand out to cold people in the winter."

I just know Aziraphale and Crowley will end up retired the way Pestilence is retired. Going on and on about how relaxed they are and how happy they are not to be working, meanwhile you glance at their calendar out of the corner of your eye and take immediate psychic damage.

(every retiree I’ve ever met is like this)

#good omens shitpost #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #south downs cottage #ineffable husbands

[tossyouforedinburgh]

plantroom

[tossyouforedinburgh]

There's a story of questionable veracity about Harry Houdini performing an escape in which his wife passes him a key with a kiss.

I keep thinking about this story when I think about the kiss Crowley and Aziraphale share.

For me, it comes down to this: the fight between them is real. It has to be, because handwaving such an emotional scene as "for show" would be deeply unsatisfying. On top of that, it's consistent with the flawed beliefs that each of them carry. Crowley wants to run away to the stars, Aziraphale wants to Speak to the Manager about Heaven. There's no reason to think the scene is a lie, because if they were both telling the truth, that's what it would look like.

And yet. In a season that's all about misdirection and performance, I can't help but think there's something more going on. I haven't been fully convinced by any theory I've come across yet, including my own, but I do think there's an undeniable sense of waiting, of watching for the twist.

If the fight was real then where is the performance? Could the kiss have been real, and still misdirection? It's all an appeal, Crowley begging Aziraphale to stay, but maybe it's something else too. Maybe it's, stay, please stay, but if you won't, at least hold onto a way back to me. I'm not gonna pretend I know anything for sure. I just keep thinking about Houdini's wife kissing him, and slipping him a key.

As for what Crowley might have given Aziraphale, all I have is speculation. I've thought about this a lot and I can't come up with anything obvious placed earlier in the story that might help. But if I were going to guess? I'd say Crowley gave him the same thing he asked Aziraphale for back in 1862.

Insurance.

[tossyouforedinburgh]

GOOD OMENS + TEXT POSTS [3/?]

Bonus:

[tossyouforedinburgh]

The husbands meet the wives.

Crowley(s): Stay away from my angel, bitch!!!

[tossyouforedinburgh]

Aziraphale: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Crowley: It was autocorrect. Aziraphale: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Crowley: Yes.

[tossyouforedinburgh]

The picnic - (2023)

"Aww, You see! Isn’t a picnic a good idea ? And this linen shirt I gave you Iooks absolutely lovely on you."

"Argh...I don't know...I guess! Not sure about the shirt, though: it's not really my color."

[tossyouforedinburgh]

You know you're fucking up when the gal that's supposed to be THE demon, THE temptress, THE Serpen of Eden, is looking at you like this after you tell them what your God is doing

[tossyouforedinburgh]

wiles? thwarted

[tossyouforedinburgh]

Crowley is actually Gabriel and Aziraphale is actually... um... Ligur, back from the dead, and then after the kiss Aziraphale is Gabriel and Crowley is Ligur and Crowley and Aziraphale are making out in Alpha Centuri far away from whatever the fuck this is

right if we're doing the multiple body swap theory let's really do it

so before the kiss, Crowley is actually Gabriel and Aziraphale is Aziraphale. and then after the kiss Aziraphale is Gabriel, Crowley is Aziraphale, Muriel's book is Crowley, and Saraquel is there just to keep fucking track of everyone

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #neil gaiman #im sorry everyone #but also i might make it worse later

[tossyouforedinburgh]

Crowley: I brought down the entire mobile phone network in London.

Crowley: Call Aziraphale!

*All lines to London are busy*

Crowley: 😑 F U C K ! I am not a smart man.

[tossyouforedinburgh]

right if we're doing the multiple body swap theory let's really do it

so before the kiss, Crowley is actually Gabriel and Aziraphale is Aziraphale. and then after the kiss Aziraphale is Gabriel, Crowley is Aziraphale, Muriel's book is Crowley, and Saraquel is there just to keep fucking track of everyone

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #neil gaiman #crack theory #this is how my dvd collection used to be

[tossyouforedinburgh]

staring at the sky, come back and pick me up

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #neil gaiman

[tossyouforedinburgh]

oh. OH. I think you might be onto something here

I've edited this because does this mean Crowley kissed Gabriel. Gabriel. I don't think I can cope with that. Crowley. Gabriel. I am considerably distressed

so. what has been bothering me A LOT about aziraphale's face in the final 15. and THAT smile.

You know the one.

It does not look like his face. at all.

It isn't how he holds his face when he smiles, he doesn't normally close his lips like that. His eyes aren't shaped like that. That's why it is so uncanny valley. It's not him to me. I may be bonkers. (That's always possible.) But that's why it looks so unhinged, so disturbing, besides the most devastating timing.

But you know who does hold their mouth that way when they smile? You know whose eyes look a bit more like that when they smile?

I'm effin' breathing into a paper back right now. It's CREEPY.

But you know how there was that post where Neil talked about what an insanely good mimic Michael Sheen is? And how he turned to look because he thought it was David Tennant slagging off Aziraphale, and it was MICHAEL SHEEN doing an impression? [found it, thank you @fuckyeahgoodomens!]

And also, how excellent Michael was in the appearance swap in Season 1?

Do you also remember/have you seen the theories that Aziraphale mouths "we need help" when he's speaking to Crowley in the final fifteen? ["We need help" final 15 post. h/t @somehow-a-human]

Who would they have to help them now? Not heaven. Not hell. Not each other, this is too big now. But who might be powerful enough? Who was holding their hands when they performed the 25 Lazarii miracle whoopsie?? Who no longer has any allegiance to heaven? Who did AZIRAPHALE JUST HELP PROTECTING FROM HEAVEN???

GuYSs. Could...it be?

This is all in my brain because someone wrote up a thing about the line "books are like people but portable" (aeeugh I can't find any of these right now, I'll go back to find the links) [edit: okay this one is here. thank you, @tossyouforedinburgh] right before the final 15? and "who is the book"? who has been ORGANISING ALL THE BOOKS? Could the memories of Aziraphale/Aziraphale HIMSELF have been saved into a book? The only person they could learn this from is Gabriel, because he knows how. He put himself into a fly.

I have not been thinking about this long, so it may be easily dismissible, but I have been thinking about it long enough I had to say something. I almost didn't post.

But...look at the FACES. It's WEIRD.

sorry for all the edits. 😮‍💨

[tossyouforedinburgh]

please Neil why did you say this. it's like the "if you didn't know they were in love before the kiss you'll never see it" only somehow more. how can you say this when they're not talking my insides cannot cope

What’s your favourite line from good omens?

The invisible and unbreakable one that joins Crowley and Aziraphale.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #neil gaiman #but on the plus side if he's saying this while writing s3

[tossyouforedinburgh]

White Silk Wedding Corset

#good omens #aziraphale

[tossyouforedinburgh]

What’s your favourite line from good omens?

The invisible and unbreakable one that joins Crowley and Aziraphale.