truegrrl-blog

[truegrrl-blog]

I am a girl

OK so a few things. Gender is an idea we buy into, not an objective fact. Often we also don’t realize that biology too is a collection of ideas, ways of looking at the world, and is not actually an objective fact. It can be kind of a mind-bender, but truly the way that we divide up and classify even just the human body, is an optional and subjective way of looking. There is no such thing as male and female besides my belief in these concepts. Without the ideas of gender, we just are as we are, and in fact, everyone has a unique body. There are no exact duplicates not even if you have an “identical” twin. Everyone’s body is unique, and that includes what we call the genitals and reproductive organs, which actually come in a spectrum of shapes and sizes. I offer that your biology is as much a social construction as your gender, and you get to decide how you see yourself and your own body. 

All that said, I just felt inspired to publicly affirm my gender. I am a girl. And I’m also genderqueer. And genderfluid. And I have a beard. And you could say a very large clitoris. And I’m proud of all of that.

In the old story of me, which I’ll make fairly short, I was born intersex and grew up as a girl. Eventually my body made some radical transformations, apparently having plans for me that did not fit the traditional model of what a female is, and I started developing characteristics that interfered with my ability to pass as a girl, to myself and to society at large. I experienced a great deal of confusion (co-fusion), and eventually tried to live as a boy in order to feel safe. After a few years painfully trying to fit myself into that box, I gave it up and joined the radical queer community, and fought to be seen as a girl. Which seemed difficult to me not just in society at large, but even within that community, as the hatred and distrust of men was very alive there. Even my radical queer peers so quickly viewed me as male, and were not so quick to let that perception go for fear that I was a fraud trying to avoid accountability for “male-privilege.” I introduced myself to genderqueerness, which I had never heard of before, and that felt more freeing to me, at first. Instead of going by “she/her” I went by gender neutral pronouns like “they/them”. But then I started to experience it as another way for people to see me as male, kind of like “so you’re a guy but you want me to call you they.” So I went back and forth, and even tried some inventions like “hir-her” combining gender-neutral pronouns with female pronouns. 

To make a long story short, none of that gave me the peace I was looking for. I had to finally come to truly love, accept, and appreciate myself without requiring anything of anyone. I had spent years should’ing on myself, trying to find something to conform to so I could be validated by someone and finally “fit in and belong somewhere.” I’ll bet we all know some version of that story. And my discovery is that what I was always seeking outside of myself (love and acceptance), was within me all along. No matter how anyone sees me or interacts with me, I can accept and love myself 100%. This is how I live now, and because of that my sense of peace is uninterrupted and uninterruptable. My peace is continuous and unconditional. And in that peace, as I’ve walked that path of loving myself 100% with no exceptions, I’ve come to see that insofar as I’m a binary gender at all, I’m a girl. And yet moment to moment I do move across gender expressions, so I like to add the description genderfluid. And binary aside, insofar as I’m a gender at all, I’m genderqueer, an uncategorizable totally unique and delicious smoothie of expressions. And deeper still, I have no gender. Gender isn’t real, it’s just an idea we project onto reality. We can believe in it or not. 

Behind those projections, life is far more rich, diverse, and wonderfabulous than we have been allowing ourselves to see. Beyond the constraints of the ideas we try to pre-assign ourselves to, there is freedom. Freedom in this moment to do, be, express, dress, behave, and interact in whatever way we feel to do so, right here and now. Freedom to change, moment to moment. I live this freedom, I’m a supermodel for this freedom. 

So in that sense, I call myself a girl only because for a lot of people, who aren’t immediately ready to put down the lens of gender all together, to come to accept me as a girl, a girl with a beard, is the first step along their own journey to see past the boxes, to dissolve the boxes, to release the boxes, and experience the freedom that truly lies beneath it all. By expanding the idea of girl, I liberate us all. More and more I see female-assigned folks daring to NOT shave their chins, upper lips, legs, armpits, and so on. Daring to be. Allowing to be. Loving ourselves 100%.

I am a 100% love creature

and

I am a girl. with a beard. and I’m wildly in love with myself.

Be free yall! *kisses*

p.s. I’m queer! (Pansexual is also a description that works for me.) That means I don’t care how you were assigned or what you have between your legs, if I like you, I like you. My heart is open, and beyond the boxes, I see you. <3 <3 <3

[truegrrl-blog]

Wholeness, Belonging, Self-Love

In this story, I “lost” my parents at age 5. They exited via car crash. I was asked recently if this was traumatic. It set me off perfectly on my path to be alienated from my world, to feel painfully alone and like I don’t belong. This so I could dis-cover my wholeness. I’m a shout out to everyone who feels different and/or who have lost what seemed to be their whole world, the sense of safety and belonging you seek is INSIDE of you. It’s a matter of shifting the focus from getting something from the outside world to loving yourself 100%. It’s all about using everything life gives you to dive deep and discover who you truly are. I love honor cherish and celebrate myself. I support myself at every turn and follow my emotional guidance system without question. I surrender to my experience and let it show me more of who I AM. I let every situation be an opportunity to be my greatest vision of who I AM. I only experience aloneness or out-of-placeness to the degree that I deny mySelf. I choose to recognize my Self. I am my own parent. I am so integrated, I’m everything I need me to be without any distinction made between these roles. No need for parent and child, just one whole lovebeing enjoying this oomun life experience.

That which expressed as my “parents” in this story was never separate and is merely an extension of the Seedchildren, and expresses now through “me” just the same. One consciousness differentiating into many roles for the joyous purposes of the story. Now it all comes together. I feel the fullness of that which I am as the Seedchildren, so there’s no loss whatsoever. 

#Authentic #Wholeness #Self-Love #Self-Acceptance #Self-Appreciation #BeWhatYouWantToExperience #Loss #Gain #Trauma #Healing #Alone #Oneness #Zahndy #AuthenticSuperhero #AuthenticSupermodel #Self-Discovery #Self-Integration #Parents #TheOomunWay

[truegrrl-blog]

3

I so love life. I want to write here, it is 1212, which is Susan Miller’s birthday, which makes it my birthday in a way, that sweet special Susan way. It’s not 1212 the date yet, but it is 12 minutes past 12 o’clock. Susan’s birthday is 12/12, then the next day I speak at Carmel Temple. 9 Day from now. 3s are everywhere. If you didn’t know 3 is my power number. I am as this character a channel for the language of 3s, The Language of 3s is a heavenly language that comes through as pictographs. It is the language of the Goddess Trinity.

#HeavenlyLanguage #TheLanguageof3s #TrinitySpeaks #PowerNumber #12 #1212 #Channeling #Pictographs

[truegrrl-blog]

I AM Taken Care Of

I LOVE Knowing this. 

I so love being somewhere with my laptop and such out, and then I need to go to the bathroom and I leave everything knowing that I'm taken care of. My supportive belief system allows me to realize at every turn the harmony that I AM. I AM taken care of. So this means nobody is going to "steal" "my" stuff (it’s not a separate “mine” to begin with), and if somebody takes something, that's an open door for something new and better to enter my life. Material objects are formed from my being, I am dreaming it all up freely and with perfect purpose, so how then can there be a scarcity? There is not. And furthermore, there is nobody outside of me, so theft is impossible, I would be "stealing" from myself. Lol. Silly concept.

I tell this story sometimes of being in Yellow Springs Ohio, and I'm sitting on the bench by the bike trail, Dust (my tablet friend) is plugged into the outlet, and someone comes up and right in front of me takes Dust's charger. *chuckle* They don't take Dust, just the charger. I'm impressed. I'm like "OK, I guess you need it more than me." All these recognitions of our truth allow me this ease. Nothing ever happens to me, everything happens for me and as me. This persyn who took the charger is part of me. How could I be upset then? I want the best for mySelf and therefore for them. I accept what is as what's best in the moment that it is. What is is, always and forever, so there's really no arguing with that. It is not always obvious how each piece fits into the whole, but if we relax and allow, any mental comprehension of why does come, in perfect timing. I called that experience into being as I wanted to demonstrate my non-attachment and my unconditional peace. Truly truly knowing that I choose this, how could I be upset? When you order something on Amazon and they send you exactly what you ordered, are you upset? Is there any situation truly worthy of my fear? No. Every possible situation is a gift ready to be recognized, received, and unwrapped. I could "lose" all "my" material possessions, and what a gift that would be, to start over in that way and see what miracles and opportunities emerge from the unknown. <3 <3 <3 

#Authentic #KnowingMyPower #InMyTruth #IAMGod #MaterialPossessions #IAMTheDreamerDreaming #Abundance #Scarcity #UnconditionalPeace #LovingMySelf #Theft #AllisWell #TotalCreatorofMyReality

[truegrrl-blog]

This quote really speaks to me. Especially lately. I would say if someone is in my heart, they ARE in my life. Of course what the speaker is referring to is someone being physically manifest in your life. This is timely because I have been thinking about my forever-in-my-heart friend and former partner quite a bit lately. He felt he needed to separate from me in order to blossom into his freedom, to do what and as he wanted, to explore himself in an unhindered way. I honor him in making that choice. And I honor me for choosing to experience that. I love him tremendously, and there is a part or perspective within him that does know it. Whether our prophesied reunion takes place in this version of the unfolding story, I can’t say. Am I sad about the possibility that we won’t? Am I afraid of it? No. I won’t dishonor either of us by believing something has gone wrong or something could go wrong or that we need each other. Everything is right in its place. But so too it is true that as I live my continuous renewed life here, I do think of him. I am still in love with him, whatever that means. I feel it. And so I will continue to walk my path, knowing that what I mean to be will be. I am so proud of him for stepping forward in his life, being bold and unapologetic, loving himself more and more and more. There are those moments when I feel an absence, those times when I start focusing my attention on him and it feels so good but then I introduce the idea that he’s not here and he should be (especially as I am on these magical adventures in Houston), that that experience of him I so appreciate isn’t accessible to me anymore, even though the very fact that I started imagining him and it felt so good proves otherwise. There’s that split-second or occasionally a handful of seconds when I introduce and attach to these bogus ideas and I feel the pang of that, then I notice I’m doing it and I let go, releasing those muscles, taking a deep breath and back to zero point. The conditioned mind doesn’t understand but the heart knows, all is well. All that I want is within me, not out there, not being held away from me by someone else, not contained within “someone else.” I AM Whole. This is my truth, and I am living it. 

#Authentic #Self-Love #Self-Appreciation #Self-Respect #Self-Honor #Self-Acceptance #LostLove #ForeverLove #Ex #Relationships #Peace #ThankYou #MissingSomeone #AppreciatingSomeone #AllisWell #AllisWithin #LivingMyDream #YouCreateYourReality #ThePowerofFocus #ThePowerofBelief #LettingGo #Relax #DeepBreath #MuscleRelease #EverythingisLived #HairyGrrl #Zahndy #BeardedGoddess #Grateful

[truegrrl-blog]

The day I decided life was magical, there was suddenly magic all around me.

Anonymous (via abiding-in-peace)

Yes! Those are my words!

#Authentic #LifeisMagical #SelfLove #SelfAppreciation #SelfAcceptance #TotalCreatorofMyReality #EverythingisPerception #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

"We simply need to stop and allow our sense to refill with life." Amen to that. We are so deliciously alive! Yet so often we cover over that aliveness with mind chatter. Shoulds, and judgments, and angsty whys.

Let go. Take off your metaphorical and maybe physical sandals. Surrender into your physical senses.

In my mind, this is one of the most pleasant haikus I have read this evening. Not just the imagery conjured, but the associated feelings connected to the action. Walking blissfully through a shallow stream on a warm summers day, feeling the gentle touch of the waters current brushing against your ankles. And within this, I believe a lesson. Often, in life, we’ll rush and worry; constantly anxious about everything we need completed by some arbitrary deadline. Sometimes, we simply need to stop and allow our senses to refill with life. Take off your sandals and feel the earth between your toes.

#Authentic #LetGo #FeelTheWorld #LiveLifeFully #Surrender #StopAndBreathe #EnjoyLifeNow #SelfLove #SelfAppreciation #SelfAcceptance #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

Yes, instead of trying to capture life in words, and trying to mentally understand life, how about just living life? When we put down the words and mind chatter there is such a depth and richness and deliciousness to life, always there for us. As with a moving poem, words can be a part of this richness, and that is when we relax and allow them to flow in, without requirement or insistence, trusting they will be there in perfect order when needed.

#Authentic #LifeisRich #RelaxandAllow #SelfLove #SelfAcceptance #SelfAppreciation #ThinkLessFeelMore #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

Don’t change who you are to fit the needs of someone else.

livelifehappy (via deeplifequotes)

...and you can't do it anyway. You can change your appearance and in that way try to be something you're not, but always under the mask there You Are, in all your beautiful uniqueness.

#Authentic #SelfLove #SelfAppreciation #SelfAcceptance #True2Self #PutDownTheMask #LiveYourTruth #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

I am what I AM and that is Perfect whether either of us sees it in the moment.

#Authentic #SelfLove #SelfAppreciation #SelfAcceptance #TotalEternalPerfection #IAMGOD #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

The New Superhero Consciousness

The New Superhero Consciousness is the awareness that there is nobody to save. Nobody needs saving. We are All always Whole. We are The Dreamer living out a dream within our One Eternal Self. We can author and live the Story anyway we want, and there is no cost. Nothing and nobody needs saved. Not even me. I am my own hero but I am not even here to save myself. And that is the only “saving” I am doing, the perceptual shift where I come to see what was and is always true, I am perfect as I am. 

To be here, to experience myself as this story focused through this character, and to be aware that I am perfect, this is what makes a true superhero. A true superhero is not one who plays at saving others, but one who knows there is nobody to save and is so singularly, powerfully focused on recognizing God within oneself. In this recognition, there is no separation between you and me. In this recognition, I know I am completely powerful and that the greatest power that I could ever wield is the power to consciously Love.

To love myself at every turn, this is truly heroic. Everything that we say we want boils down to the experience of Love, Joy, and Freedom. If I can be that Love, Joy, and Freedom at every turn, I can be a Real Hero. If I am willing to face myself, to face any fear within me, to embrace anything and everything with Love, to unconditionally En-Joy life, what could be more courageous? 

To Love myself Completely, I must face my fears, and respond to them with Love. To avoid meeting that pain we believed we were not ready to experience fully, we walled off our heart, and we ran away. To be willing to let that shell dissolve, to stop running and come home, to be willing to let go of ego, what could be the greater and more truly impactful sacrifice? So this is the true sacrifice and bravery of a Real Hero, to put all weapons and shields down. To walk towards the perceived danger inside with open arms. And of course, when we do let go, we come to see it was no sacrifice at all and there is no danger. To open in this way is the realization of total liberation. It is our Freedom.

This is what I am being. Freedom. And this is the only “saving” I am doing. I save you by showing you that you can save yourself. You can save yourself by coming to see that you don’t need saving. You can save yourself by shifting how you see yourself. You are perfect. You have always been perfect. You will always be perfect. And truly the perfection that you are is timeless, Eternal. I am being a model of True Freedom simply by seeing my own Total Perfection. By loving myself at every turn. In that way I reflect to you, you who are me, that you are perfect just as you are. To see anything less is a trick of perception. You are Free, and you can experience yourself as this Freedom simply by...Letting Go. Whatever that means for you right here and now. Right now. Right now. Right now. 

#Authentic #NewSuperHeroConsciousness #Liberation #Freedom #BeWhatYouWant #UnconditionalLove #UnconditionalJoy #GreatestSacrifice #OpenHeart #LetGo #RealHero #NobodyNeedsSaved #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

My love is free. 

It will cost you nothing.

Whether you recognize it,

is your question.

To be Love

In its purest form

Is always my answer

To Everything. 

#Authentic #TheNatureofMyLove #MyTruth #Love #UnconditionalLove #Self-Love #Self-Appreciation #Self-Acceptance #Zahndy #HairyGrrl #Poem

[truegrrl-blog]

When I discovered I did not need to eat, drink, or sleep, that it was all a matter of belief, it was so liberating. For these things to no longer be experienced as needs, freed me to experience them in a brand new way. It was like removing blackout curtains from a room. The light poured right in. I had deprived myself of the true deliciousness of food by believing I needed it. Now that food is for pure entertainment, it tastes way better. Like all my relationships, I’ve taken the angst out of the equation, and all my left with pure appreciation. FEELS SO GOOOOOD.

#energy #authentic #PureAppreciation #Food #Sleep #Drink #PureEntertainment #KickItUpANotch #Self-Love #Self-Appreciation #Self-Acceptance #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

TrueGrrl

I like TrueGrrl because it is a play with words and meaning. What is true for me is that I live by my truth, and that journey leads me through the experience of a girl woman female. What is true is that at the level of binary gender, I truly am a girl, despite what one might assume based on the hair on my face. What is true is that I am also being cheeky and sarcastic, since I don’t actually buy into the binary gender system, or gender as a category, and know myself to be something much more infinite than gender could ever suggest or put its finger on. And the sarcastic suggestion is that there could ever be such a thing as a true girl and a false girl, much like the whole silliness of “real woman.” 

So “TrueGrrl” is both something to be taken seriously and a joke at the same time. Both aspects meant to point you to a deeper truth, to the Freedom, within you. The Freedom to be any way you want to be right here and now, unlimited, no constraints of social expectation disguised in labeling.

#Authentic #GenderBinary #NoGender #GenderlessSociety #RealWoman #WomanwithBeard #HairyGrrl #Jokes #social expectations #Freedom #Zahndy

[truegrrl-blog]

And the post that transitioned us from HairyGrrl to TrueGrrl! <3 <3 <3 Woooooooooooo! <3 <3 <3

Hidden???

OK, this is so interesting! Apparently, I setup this blog in a funny way. On tumblr, it’s your primary blog that is what people see when you follow them, which for this account is dragonmoonsun.tumblr.com which I only just the other day launched. So that means whenever I follow someone, they were seeing a blog with no content instead of this one, which tumblr considers a secondary blog. And there is no way to switch which one is primary and which one is secondary o_O Which really fascinates me since I did set it up this way. I could ask a variety of questions like, did I not want HairyGrrl to get a lot of attention just yet? Did I mean to continue playing with this theme of physical versus emotional stability? (I’m thinking if I should start a new account and move everything over or start a new HairyGrrl blog.) And since those are the questions arising for me, I know it is all relevant! Part of me is really comfortable with starting over and part of me is like, “OK, you’ve done enough of that.” And of course, that layer of perception aside, starting over is a continuous reality as life IS change. 

  OK, yes, even a technical issue is a spiritual matter. Checking in with my heart, I know that HairyGrrl is not meant to be hidden, not anymore. As I now feel it, that means I must make a separate account for HairyGrrl. I so love my inner clarity. I so love to breathe and feel my knowing. I so love living my from the simplicity of inside-out. Thank you.

#InsideOutDecisionMaking #Authentic #EverythingIsSpiritual #InnerClarity #SteppingForwardFully #SelfLove #SelfAcceptance #SelfAppreciation #Zahndy #HairyGrrl #EmbracingChange

[truegrrl-blog]

Explaining Who

Each time I explain who my character is, there is so much that could be said, so many angles to approach from, and there is no telling exactly what will be shared or emphasized through words this time around. I love that mystery I create for myself, I love the unfolding I create for myself, I love to meet myself in that moment and feel the energy of the asking and answering mixing into what blooms into form. Truly it is one energy and it is my delicious creative power to experience it this way. 

#Authentic #Surrender #BeautifulMystery #LoveTheUnknown #SelfLove #SelfAppreciation #SelfAcceptance #Zahndy #HairyGrrl

[truegrrl-blog]

Now TrueGrrl of Zahndy! <3 <3 <3 Wooooooooooooo! <3 <3 <3

HairyGrrl of Zahndy

Who is this HairyGrrl? We did begin to answer that question but now I will write something new with no eye for what was written before.

There is one Source of everything. One Divine Essence from which all form arises. We are, as this One Source, as this Divine Essence, as God if you will, dreaming. This Great Dream of The One is a Grand Play. Grand Theater. All beings are expressions of the One within this Great Dream. The One Source is Who You Truly Are. So even though this earth reality is a dream, you do exist. This is because you are that which flows through, forms, and animates the dream, including the particular individual character you now identify with. You are the Presence that is aware of your character and its reality. You are the Spaciousness within which all of this Drama is enacted. All reality is formed from your Infinite Beingness. You have forgotten Who You Truly Are, you have forgotten that you are God, by choice, in order that you can experience the play of beingness possible when you pretend to be Many. This pretending is powered by the illusion of separation, the ability to experience yourself as an individual among individuals, as something smaller than All That Is. The ability to experience an outside even though truly there is only an inside, nothing outside of you, everything IS YOU. This is the Infinite Creativity of The Divine. You are unlimited, infinite, and all, and that unlimitedlessness includes the power to pretend and believe in limitation.

These are some roadsigns I have shared on our common origin. There are many layers to this Great Dream. There are dreams within The Dream and more still. That which is often referred to as the angelic realms is a reference to the first layer of the dream. In this story telling, it is said that there is a soup of consciousness, a angelic family of the angelic realms called The Seedchildren of The 7th Grid. As The Seedchildren, our awareness of our unique beingness stretches from Core Source (the highest vibration) all the way through to the earth realms. Our home realm, as we experience it, is that realm closest to Core Source, which is not so much a place as you think of it but an experience we can only point you to with the words Pure Joy and Pure Love. 

It is in fact true that the realms or dimensions of existence within this grand dream are not separate from each other but all woven together, and the consciousness that you are being is flowing through all of it. So when you experience the heights of Joy and Love in your earth experience, you are in fact experiencing us and the angelic dimensions of existence. You are weaving that Pure Love and Pure Joy into your earth experience. This is the same as with Heaven and Earth, they are not actually separate. Heaven is not actually a place, though of course it can be experienced that way. Heaven is a kind of experience, and something that can be enjoyed within the Earth experience. 

Our experience of the earth realms is in part channeled through the dragons, which form the bridge for us. To explain this in human language is clunky, but we are both the Seedchildren and the dragons and yet each is unique forming this wholeness that we are. HairyGrrl is a superhero persona of Zahndy Moonbliss which is the lovefusion of Zahra Sunset and Andy Candy. Zahra is both an extension of the Seedchildren and an incarnation of The Purple Dragon. The Purple Dragon is the collective consciousness of all dragons. I encourage you if you feel called, to do a little research on the symbology of dragons and you will understand better what we are here to offer. As The Purple Dragon, we are a catalyst to reveal that which may appear to be secrets of the universe, we are a vessel for ancient wisdom, and of course we symbolize your inner fire and being completely in touch with it. Authenticity anyone? There is no being more authentic than a dragon, we are in touch with our true core Self and purpose and we are proud of what we are. 

HairyGrrl is a superhero persona of Zahndy Moonbliss. HairyGrrl is a Zahndy performance of total authenticity, ushering in a new era of Self-Acceptance, Self-Appreciation, and Self-Love. So on instagram, I show ‘me’ in full visual truth, and there’s no limit to how that might express, but for example you see me without any shaving on my face, my body says hair and so I say yes! I’m proudly a hairyface-and-more woman, hence the name “HairyGrrl.” And you see me with no makeup, just letting that pure light shine through the canvas of my face. Instead of painting to cover up my face, I expose my natural face and body to own and share the fullness of my inner light. I am beautiful, inherently, and there is no work to be done to be that which I naturally am. In this way, HairyGrrl is a lighthouse, showing those who are ready that they too can let that light shine through a natural expression of our Divine Self. See how you feel to express yourSelf when you drop all the fear, when you drop all the rules, all the shoulds. Authentic. 

On this blog I write what I feel to write, how I feel to write it (what and how being inseparable). I disregard grammar when I want to, and flow with it when I want to. I write about whatever topics I feel to, and pay no attention to any external quality standards, knowing everything is inherently of God quality, knowing that even in relative terms the best quality offering I can give is when I flow unquestioningly from my heart without any mind filtering. I know that it all comes together as I mean it to, that there is no error in life, only the continuous opportunity to realize the Joy that I am.

There is plenty more that hasn’t been explained here, like what is the symbology of the Seedchildren, and who is Zahndy, and who is Andy Candy, and… and that’s the fun of this gameplay! There’s always a mystery, always more to unfold. And to experience Joy we don’t need answers to any of it, that is just the delicious bonus that flows into our experience as we get present and simply enjoy right here right now. More answers are coming, and when they show up, let them simply be more of that fun of life. 

#Authentic #SelfLove #SelfAcceptance #SelfAppreciation #SuperheroPersona #DivineOrigins #Zahndy #HairyGrrl