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i just wanna love my body.

i’m fat, and i found out that i have this stretch marks in my thighs, hips and legs. i don’t how how it got there, or when did it show up, but i began hating myself more.

there’s this song by julia michaels titled “body”. the lyrics resonated me that it’s like it was written for me. the moment that i heard this song, i figures out that i really hate myself.

i don’t wear shorts sleeves, not because i don’t like showing a little bit of skin, but because i have this rashes like pimples all over my back and shoulders. i don’t like wearing crop tops, because i don’t have a thin waistline. i like wearing me hair down, because i have chubby cheeks, and it makes me look less fat. i wear oversized hoodies, and long sleeves, because it makes me look thin.

i just wanna love my body. i wanna make it feel like it’s incredible, too. but how do i do that? how can i possibly love this disgusting body?

is this why i wanted to be validated by strangers? is this why i am incapable of loving someone? because i am afraid that they might not love my body?

fuck. i need to die.

— thoughts i can share with the internet but not with my friends #7

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