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you journey through my

darkness, tresses of

deeply forbidden corridors

that tremble from your fearless

words, you pierce a primal

nerve resurrecting

heartfelt sensations,

opening crypts of doubt

buried beneath my eyes

wrestling keys

from my secret garden

how you linger in my soul

inhaling each floral delicacy,

admiring their radiant colors

you arrest my intimacy

through endless conversations

traversing

distant hours poured

out as savored cordials

breathless exchanges

inveighing my heart,

challenging my mind,

pulling back every

resistant blush until

your lines lay cradled

in mine ensnared in your

fingers - surrendering

my lips to your moonlit song


Rhapsodyinblue45// nightcap

Image: @Dramira

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We are not lovers, hell we are not even friends. Maybe if this virus hadn’t happened when it did, maybe if all our plans hadn’t been crushed beneath the weight of the chaos all around us, maybe we could have crossed the line. A week of constant words, one moment of contact to prove that this was more than words, and then it all fell to dust in our hands. Now the words are few and far between and the contact can’t happen in this time of social distance. I was drawn to you, my soul begging to be near you, a call so loud I could not ignore it. Something told me to make it happen, to give you the opening. Something told me I needed you to be closer, to be more than just another voice on the calls, another face at the meetings. I gave you the opening, you took it, and then the world came crashing down and I’m not sure if we can navigate the rubble and find our way back to the road we were heading down.

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a sudden remembering as
patterns reassemble, words greeting
one another in the

place of friends, though
we keep tending the
ties that bind – because

of course we do,
because we are all
dots on this round

whirling planet, each one
vital in our smallness,
with the same one

shared purpose: to
                           c o n n e c t
[x]

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2am thoughts


Sometimes there’s just moments I wish I could just freeze and live in forever. Right now is one of them. I just feel utterly content. Like not especially good but not especially bad. Everything just feels okay. I don’t feel the need to cut my skin until it bleeds or draw in dark color until all my anger and frustration leaks onto the page. I don’t feel so energized I want to bounce of walls and I’m not laughing so hard I can’t breathe. I’m just here. It’s just me in this moment at this time. And that’s perfect.

Of course not all the moments are like this. Sometimes it’s moments of sadness I want to capture so I can assure myself I’ll never feel this bad again. Sometimes it’s when my happiness is so high it touches the sky. When I feel like I’ll never stop smiling and everything is right with the world. Sometimes I’m alone with my thoughts or my music and other I’m surrounded by the noise of happy people all just living in the moment.

I haven’t felt like this much lately. With all the confusion in the world. The anger and sadness building up in my body, the distance from those who inspire me and make me smile. But right now is good. Right now is okay and lately that’s all I need. To just feel okay and at peace.

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Acquiesce
she says yes 
unmitigated follies. 

We undress 
does she surpress
unrequited melancholy.

Time does pass
acheived a task
Tis not the time for sorry. 

We slide away
before the day
avoid another quarry.

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A trip down memory lane, a distinguished reminiscence,

such was the aura she brought with her presence,

of the times spent in thoughts of question,

debating the effects of the demolition,

to reach or not to reach, if only to seek a solace,

that perhaps existed in a homely yet forsaken place.

- DG (NaPoWriMo'20 / Day 5)

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The stitches you gave me (To close my wound)
Were laced with poison
The drinks you gave me to relax (After a long day)
Were sodium pentothal
The medicine you gave me (To ease my anxiety)
Were meant to make me an addict 
The secrets you told me (An illusion)
Were a ruse to learn more about me
The love and affection you gave me (A construct)
Was all just to get me to let my guard down

Everything you did
Every action
Every word
Every sentiment
Every gesture
Was a lie

Like a ghost lurking in every place I lay my head
Like a demon in every spot I cast a shadow 
Like countless shameful memories 
Your actions haunt my mind 

But believe me when I say I’ve defeated demons worse than you 

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These hands are healing hands
but they tremble before they touch,

scared of bringing harm
to those they love so much.

These times are heavy times
and distance goes on for miles,

the war is long and tiring
and strains the somber smiles.

Our patients are our family
but so are the people at home,

But on days like this, oh,
days like this,
it is safer to leave them alone.

We do not dare to share the harm
that brings heroes to their knees,

we remain apart with aching hearts
to prevent the suffering.

Yet still there are those in need
for us to soothe all that is wrong,

so here is something to keep you
when the hours grow too long -

Your hands are healing hands,
you are capable, you are strong.

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to hurt

tell me it’s okay to hurt
tell me it’ll all be alright someday
someday sometime somewhere somehow
pull me close and let me breathe
in the sea-air scent of your sweater &
out the smog trapped within my soul
before i set myself on fire to keep you warm
daisies can wrap around me for you
.
tell me it’s okay to hurt
tell me the sun’s coming closer
stars won’t be the only source of light anymore
flickering & flickering & flickering
terrified they’ll go out right now, supernovas
it’s just a little while ‘till we’re out
don’t let go, keep our fingers intertwined
we’ll get out of this soon, together
.
tell me it’s okay to hurt
tell me i’m safe for the moment
no need to flinch hard with any movement
empty promises are better than echoing walls
shattered bottles & whiskey-soaked rugs &
alcoholic fluorescent frights have no place here
everything is soft subdued edges
protected from crashing into corners of desks
.
tell me it’s okay to hurt
tell me that they don’t cancel out
blazing flames of unreasonable self-hatred &
arbitrary waves of intrusive thoughts
won’t destroy each other in the very end
faded illustrations but less fairytale
lead me to the wispy harpsichord clouds
where we’ll gently float away above it all
.
tell me it’s okay to hurt

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“Loving you is a quiet thing.


Hands running through your hair while you sleep. Palm gripping mine a little tighter when you see I’m getting anxious. Soft praises whispered to you, barely audible above the air kicking on. I love you with with the same intent as fingers grazing your naked back. You shiver, so I can pull you in closer. I always want you closer.

I love you is the whisper of be safe when you’re pulling away in your car. And the wordless tackling of your body when you pull back in to me. I never thought adoration could be feather light. Nearly silent.Maybe it’s because seeing you makes everything else turn to white static. You speak and it’s the only noise in the room.

I want to shout about the symphonies you make me feel. Some how it only comes out thunder clap loud in my writing.”


-Lowered voices

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broken skies (chaser’s anthem)


“you walked out of my life, 

and left me under broken skies 

the fool believes in their own lies..

it must have seemed needed from your eyes

but tell me: 

what was on the other side? 

nothing waiting except:


lessons in loneliness 

i’ve seen the afterlife 

u and i we’re warriors of the light 

dont you know i came back just to fight

and yet you,


walked out of our time

& left me in this war-torn night


feelin forgotten & alone 

like a goddess among sheep 

skin & bone among the clones 

awake among the sleep 


please come back, I’ll always love you 

please come back, i couldn’t forget you 

magnetic pull, that’s why you left me

under broken skies…”

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