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#heartbroken
<div> —  brokenheartmomma </div><span>It’s about giving and taking, not giving and giving or taking and taking.</span>
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I just read the most recent blog post of Choices. I am just really heartbroken that It Lives Series, Most Wanted, and The Elementalists will no longer be continuing. 💔😢😭

Why do I have a feeling that the good writers of Choices have already left the company. 😢

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I’m having a day. I came home to what would have normally been my cat coming down the steps and up the walkway to meet me at the car. Probably meowing. He would probably go back half way and flop, making me walk over him. I would say “hi bub”. But he’s gone. He’ll never do that again. Then I went to take care of my animals, to which I find one of my oldest girls seems sleepy. And I found a lash egg this morning. I fear it is hers. She is dying. I go to lock the door and peek out at the doorstep, where Felix is usually sitting. I frown. I give the cats a few treats. He is no longer waiting for his. I miss him terribly. When spring comes and my companion isn’t there, I will miss him more.

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I wish this story were different. I wish it showed me in a better light.

-THT S1E8


But at least, at least someone will remember me in this place. At least someone will care when I’m gone.

-^

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Sleeping

I’ll tell you the truth

If you promise not to tell

I’ve been sleeping like shit

And keep falling to hell,

I keep touching the clouds

I just wish I could reach

But sleeping so easily

Isn’t something you can teach

I can’t keep surviving

With this little amount of rest

But my bed is never comfy

And I don’t know what’s best.

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Has anyone ever successfully come back into a relationship after ‘taking a break’? I need some positivity right now so things don’t feel so hopeless.

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<span>How do you go back to strangers with someone who has seen your soul?</span>
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I never thought a daughter could break your heart this much.

Especially not my daughter.


From the day she was born she’s been the apple of my eye.

Any horror story about mommies and their daughters we’d always seem to defy.


My minnie me, yet beautifully different; a relationship from heaven with no interference.


Even thru her teenage years she and I would happily skip; we had Holy Spirit so we rarely tripped.


She trusted me as I did her; now it seems I’ve become just a blur.

A part of her past she’d rather forget.

Divorcing her dad has caused most of this.


A county judge who held a grudge did not rule in my favor.

A “paid for” judge I realized had been part of this shocking endeavor.

Corruption and fraud I’ve come to know , has been within the man I wed and believed I’d known.


Judge Callahan, you not only took from me any chance to financially recover; you indirectly caused deception and heartbreaking division between a daughter and her mother.

This aching in my heart and soul is not like any other; I feel I’ve been slowly smothered.

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“ Nothing hurts more than a heart left wondering ‘why?’. ”

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I never thought I was made for a normal life. Marriage. Kids. Normal but extraordinary.

I always thought I was too broken.

But then I met you, and I realised I wanted all those things, so badly, but only with you.

It feels like you died, it happened so quickly. How quickly you removed me from your life and how quickly it all disappeared.

One second you were drunk, confessing your love endlessly, and now you’re just gone.

I don’t know how you’re doing or what you’re doing and I realise it’s none of my business but it still kills me.

Even after everything, all I want is to know you’re okay.

And maybe even a little selfishly, that you feel even an ounce of what I feel right now.

That what we had was real.


My love for you is worth this heartbreak.

I wish you a great life.

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