#unrequited feelings
meatluvrr · 2 months ago
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“i have loved you. i have had to deal with that.”
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missinyouiskillingme · a month ago
You aren’t just someone I loved back then. You were my best friend, my best self, and I can’t imagine giving that up again. You might not understand, but I gave you the best of me, and after you left, nothing was ever the same.
— Nicholas Sparks, The Best Of Me
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writingsaboutaheartworm · 7 months ago
I don’t hate you for not wanting me.
I hate you for making me believe that you did.
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tiredoftheseblues · 3 months ago
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love-wont-save-us-now · 3 months ago
"You can lean on my arm as you break my heart"
— Mitski, I Don't Smoke
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prodsg · 2 months ago
wish you were sober ; myg
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SUMMARY: all you wanted was his love, and he declares it in a way that has you reeling back, knowing he wouldn’t remember any of it when morning comes 
5 + 1 au! five times where Yoongi makes you feel like you’ll never be anything other than friends, and the one time he unconventionally voices out his true feelings. 
PAIRING: min yoongi x f!reader
GENRE / RATING: unrequited love, yoongi is obtuse, fuckboy yoongi, best friends yoongi and reader, 18+
WARNINGS: cursing, attempted SA.
A/N: I wrote this because I got obsessed with the song wish you were sober while on an 8-hour road trip.
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“Yah Min Yoongi!” You yell at your knob-head of a best friend. 
There on your couch lies Min Yoongi, still passed out, mouth agape and snoring. 
On a regular day, you would have let him sleep knowing he’d been to one of his underground rap shows last night, drank a shit ton and got home at dawn and you would even ask him to move to your bed to get more comfortable, but today was his midterm passing day. 
“Yah! Get up, you’re gonna be late!” You yell once again, glancing at the watch on your wrist, seeing that it was 30 minutes to 9:00am, and yoongi’s class was at 9:15
“Yah Y/N, why are you so fucking loud.” The gremlin grumbles from the couch, opening one eye to peak at you. 
“You have your composition class at 9:15, you’re submitting your midterm today min, you know your professor doesn’t let late students in.” You tell him. 
His eyes widen comically, glancing quickly at the clock you had in your apartment’s living room. “Fuck!” He yells, bolting up. 
It took 20 minutes to get to campus, and 10 minutes to get to his building so… 
“Chill, I got you a cup of coffee on the counter, I have my car today so I can drop you off in front of your building so you don’t have to run.” You explain, grabbing your keys from the bowl near the door. 
He stands still for a second, blinking; then seemingly sighing out of relief. “You’re a lifesaver, give me a few minutes to freshen up then we can go, don’t want you to be late too.” 
— • —
with 10 minutes to spare and probably a few traffic violations, you and yoongi arrive at the front of his building. 
“Here you go, you owe me a latte.” You grumble halfheartedly, glancing at your watch and seeing that you only have 15 minutes to get to your class for your own midterm, not enough time to get your signature latte. 
Yoongi fixes his flannel, and grabs his bag. “Yeah, I’ll buy you all the goddamn lattes you want, peach. Thanks for waking my ass up, again, you’re a lifesaver.”
Then he does something you don’t expect. 
He kisses your cheek. 
Yeah, you and Yoongi are best friends. But you never kissed on the cheek or became overly touchy with each other. Your peak touchiness was during your particularly bad break-up with an ex that left you in tears. Yoongi had cuddled you then and patted your back as you sobbed into his sweater. 
Other than that, this was a first. 
He didn’t seem fazed by it though, and if he was, he didn’t show it. 
“Thanks again.” He mutters, opening the passenger door and hopping out of the car, closing the door and entering his building without glancing back. 
You shook your head, it was better to not fill yourself up with hope, hope that can fuel the two years worth of feelings you’ve been trying to hide from the blonde rapper since you’ve discovered them. 
“Bestfriends.” You mutter, driving to your own building. 
You could feel the music thumping in your ears, sweat trickled down slowly on the back of your neck.
It was Jimin’s birthday, you guys were out at a club downtown, dancing the night away. 
“I’m going to grab a drink taetae, I’ll be right back!” You yell through the music, tae nods enthusiastically. “Be careful!” He yells back, resuming his dance battle with hobi and jimin. 
With a permanent smile etched on your face, you make your way towards the bar. 
“What can I get for you miss?” The bartender asks, polishing a glass as he does so. 
“Whiskey on the rocks please.” You request, sitting down on one of the bar stools, the bartender responds with confirmation as he goes to make you the drink. 
“What’s a pretty little lady doing all alone?” A voice says from behind you. 
Spinning on your heel, you come face to face with a guy who seems to be taller by a foot. 
“I’m not alone, I’m just getting a drink.” You say dismissively, making a move to turn back to the bar. 
You don’t get to though, the man; whoever he is, grabs your hips and spins you and your chair towards him again. 
You immediately slap his hands away from your hips with force. “Do not touch me.” You hiss.
The man raises his hands up in a surrender motion, smirking. “Keep the claws away babe, I’m just trying to make conversation.” 
The audacity that men have. 
“I’m pretty sure starting conversations doesn’t involve putting your hands on women who don’t know you.” You gripe. 
“Apologies, you’re just too pretty to pass up on.” He supplies, as if that’s going to make the situation better. 
“Not interested.” You wave him off with a flick of your wrist, thanking the bartender as he serves you your drink, eyeing the man that was currently talking to you warily. 
“Aw come on, don’t be like that sweetheart.” He disgustingly says, putting his fingers under your chin and forcibly moves your head towards him. 
Before you can slap this asshole, his hand is forcibly torn away from you, as he’s pushed away from you and lands on his ass on the floor
“What the fuc-“ 
“Didn’t she tell you not to touch her already?” Yoongi’s voice steels coldly. 
“And who the fuck are you huh? Are you her boyfriend or something?” The guy spits, bouncers already on their way to take him out of the club. 
“And what if I am? What’s that got to do with her not wanting to be touched by a fucking stranger?” Yoongi spits right back. 
You’re thankful for the pounding bass of the music that blasts through the club, because you can delude yourself into thinking that your heart isn’t beating as loudly as the music is. 
“Damn man, she didn’t tell me she had a boyfriend, it’s not my fault.” The scumbag tries to pin the blame on you, bouncers already grabbing him by the arms to lead him out of the bar. 
Yoongi scoffs. “She didn’t have to tell you shit, maybe don’t go around putting your hands on random women without their consent, fucker.” 
Small cheers and applause can be heard through the little circle that has formed around the commotion, as the guy gets ejected from the club. 
“You alright peach?” Yoongi asks, offering his hand to help you hop off the bar stool.  
You place your palm onto his, and you hop off the stool, signaling for the bartender that you weren’t in the mood to drink anymore, but you’d still pay of course. 
“It’s on us, hope you feel better after that whole ordeal.” The bartender explains, smiling softly at you. You nod in thanks as Yoongi drags you out back.
The cold air hits you once you’re outside, a shiver automatically goes through your body since the silk fitted short dress you were wearing barely did anything to protect you from the wind. 
Yoongi ; bless his heart — notices (of course he does) and proceeds to remove his leather jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. 
Without the drumming of the bass in your ears, you could hear your heartbeat in your ears more clearly, cheeks going flush at something that was a normal thing for you and your best friend. 
“Thanks yoon.” Yoongi nods. “You should be more careful, there are a lot of assholes that only want pussy in joints like these.” 
You snort, punching him in the shoulder lightly. “I know, just didn’t expect him to get extra handsy.” Pausing, you say carefully. “You said you were my boyfriend back there, damn Min Yoongi, if you wanted to date me so bad, you should have just said so.” Jokes like these would be funny, if it wasn’t breaking your heart slowly. 
It’s Yoongi’s turn to snort. “Please, as if I’d ever date you.” He jokingly responds, bumping your shoulder. 
Crack. Crack. You’d pretend that it’s the sound of your heels scratching through the pavement and not the pathetic sound of your heartbreaking at something Yoongi would consider a ‘joke’ 
“And besides, you’re my best friend. I’d do or say anything to save your ass and get assholes off your back.” He continues. 
“Yeah…” bestfriend, of course. 
“How about I take you home, let’s get some ice cream going and let’s watch that shitty movie you always cry over.” 
You roll your eyes, albeit softly. “Inside out is not a shitty movie, you’re just an emotionally constipated dick.” You jest. 
“Whatever, let me go get my phone from Joon and we’ll get going.” He says, dragging you back into the club. 
Right as you near Namjoon, a girl stops you and yoongi in your tracks. 
“Yoongi-ah. Where have you been? You promised we’d spend time together.” She annoyingly whines, clinging onto Yoongi’s bicep. 
“Soojin, I was busy— still am actually, so if you don’t mind.” He shrugs her off, motioning for you to follow him towards Namjoon. 
But this bitch, man, is persistent. (And shameless)
She grabs Yoongi’s face and smashes her lips against his. 
You get a front row seat on how Yoongi's hands instinctively land on her hips, pulling her closer to him as his eyes close. 
Crack. Crack. Of course 
Soojin pulls away from him with a smirk. “Come on, you know you want to have fun.” She begs. 
Yoongi sighs, looking towards you. 
You offer a small smile, despite your heart splitting even more. “Go yoons, I’ll go home with chim and hobi.” You reason. 
He doesn’t even give it a second thought, he smiles at you. “Thanks peach, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Gone was the caring and protective nature from a while ago, instead in its place is what you would call Yoongi’s default. 
Sultry eyes, signature fuckboy smirk, hands roaming around a body (that isn’t yours). 
He doesn’t even spare you another glance as he’s dragged towards the bathroom by Soojin, she’s the one who shoots you a victory smirk— god did you want to deck her in the throat. 
As they disappear from your view, you let out a sigh. There was nothing you could do after all, you were his best friend, not his girlfriend. 
“Dude, literally fuck anaphy.” You spit out, banging your head on the textbook in front of you. 
“I definitely don’t envy you, peach, this is why I chose music production and songwriting over needles and gore”. Yoongi chuckles, pulling his headphones back a little bit, and looking away from his laptop. 
As a Biological Sciences major, you were on track to go to med school after graduating. But on days like this, studying for finals was where you wanted to drop it all and just become a stripper. 
“Yeah yeah, you act like your major is easier but I could never do what you do yoons, fucking make masterpieces out of thin air.” You grumble. 
Yoongi chuckles once again. “Thanks for thinking that, you’re probably one of the rare few who think art related courses aren’t easier by default to science courses”. 
You loved studying with Yoongi. Even though your majors couldn’t be any more different from each other, you guys thrived in each other’s presence. You both knew each other’s limits and when the other should take a break. 
After your episode during your second year, that led to you almost spending a night in the hospital with insanely low blood pressure as a result from not sleeping and eating well while studying— Yoongi has made it his mission to never leave you alone when studying for finals season. He was always there, everytime it was time for the finals season grind, Yoongi was ready to study with you despite him not needing to study at all since all of his midterms and finals were output based. 
This time though, it would prove to be different. 
The ring of his phone startled the two of you slightly. 
“Yes Miran?” He answers, making your heart clench. 
Miran— Yoongi’s newest regular hook-up, a pain in your ass like all of his other hook-ups who made it their mission to rub it in your face that they have this weird grip on Yoongi. Even though he always tells them that you were his best friend and nothing else. 
Yeah, cause that hurts way less. 
“I’m studying with Y/N at her apartment.” He states, rolling his eyes at whatever Miran was saying on the other line. 
“I already told you that I couldn’t make it today, don’t be such a baby about this.” He sighs “No she and I aren’t dating, and neither are we. I already told you this.” 
Of course, the constant reassurance to his hook-ups that you were nothing more than his best friend. 
“Fuck, then why are you being so pushy if you know?” He grits out, annoyance clear in his voice. 
You clear your throat lightly, making Yoongi glace towards you. 
Nodding towards his phone. “It’s alright, just go. I’m almost done reviewing anyway.” You say. 
Yoongi’s eyes soften, effectively ignoring Miran’s blubbering on the other line. “You sure? I can stay peach, Miran doesn’t matter that much.” 
You can hear Miran’s downright insulted (annoying) voice on the other line. 
You scoff softly, “Go yoons, she’s about to blow a gasket. I’ll be fine.” 
Yoongi nods, not even giving it a second thought. “I’ll just come back for my things later, I'll bring you some takeout.” 
“Yeah yeah, have fun.” You lifelessly wave him away. 
“Thanks peach, I’ll make it up to you.” And without sparing you another glance he was out the door. As always. 
“I told you to stop staying up so late for days on end, this is the reason you’re sick, like this is all on you Min.” You grumble as you struggle to lay down another cold cloth on his forehead
“Cut me some slack on the scolding peach, I’m sick.” He whines as another wave of shivers rake through his body. 
Yoongi showed up at your doorstep last night, sweaty and cold at the same time. Falling asleep on your couch as per usual, only when you woke up this morning that you found him shivering and running a high fever. 
You had him move; albeit gingerly, to your bed. Changing him into one of your hoodies, and made him some chicken noodle soup. 
You made a few calls to Jin as well, asking the elder if he could pick up more fever medication as you were low in stock. The older agreed and dropped them off earlier. 
“Seriously yoon, how did it get this bad.” You tsk, usually he comes down with these types of fevers once a year. He calls it his “sick period” , the cold months of november and december making him extremely susceptible to sickness. 
He tries to shrug. “I was just so hung up on this one song, I couldn’t leave it alone”. He reasons, eyes closing in relief when you replace the already warm towel on his forehead with a cooler one. 
It was always like that, he’d get stuck on a song and he just wouldn’t know to stop. It was a toxic habit that kept building up since he first started getting into music all those years ago. 
You were the only one who was able to drag and boss him out of the studio without being yelled at by the moody man. 
“Do you want more soup yoon? I can make some more.” You say, combing your fingers through his hair, in hopes of getting him some relief. 
“No, just stay here.” Yoongi croaks out, closing his eyes. 
You grab the already warm towel again, dipping it into the bowl of cold water on the side table. Placing it on his forehead once again after squeezing out the water. 
“You’re gonna be okay Min.” You say quietly. 
Yoongi chuckles quietly, eyes still closed. “I’m so thankful that you’re my best friend.” 
Of course. Bestfriend. 
“Yeah, me too.” You respond quietly, feeling like the cracking of your heart wasn’t just audible to you but to the entire world. 
“I’m just saying, maybe going out on dates isn’t such a bad thing.” Jimin reiterates, ignoring the scoff that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth. 
You shrug fondly at Jimin. “Well, I agreed to go on that date with Hyoseop, we’ll see, I don’t know how to feel about him yet, doesn’t give me that oomph you know.” Not as much as he does, and Jimin knew that. 
Him and Tae have been your go-to people when it comes to barfing up all your feelings for your Min Yoongi. 
“And besides, she doesn’t need to go on random dates, she’s busy enough as it is with uni and us.” Yoongi butts in. 
Jimin raises his eyebrows at that. “You know what, it seems to me that you don’t want her to find a boyfriend, why is that hyung?” He asks, head tilting to the side, daring Yoongi to say something. 
Even though Yoongi and the boys were inseparable and were basically brothers, that didn’t stop Jimin from thinking that his Hyung was an absolute idiot. 
All the crying and sulking you’ve done the past years everytime Yoongi ditched you for a hook-up, Taehyung and Jimin had witnessed. So it’s safe to say that they want to throttle Yoongi into the ground with brotherly tough love. 
Yoongi takes a sip of his drink. He had been against your upcoming date the most, voicing out his irrational concerns since you guys met up this morning. 
“I just think she doesn’t need anyone, she’s independent, and smart. No one’s good enough.” He spews out. 
Taehyung cackles. “I’m sure those qualities don’t have anything to do with wanting to date, hyung.” 
“Still, and meeting a complete stranger. What if something goes wrong? What if he’s a total fucking creep and you get kidnapped or something.” 
It was your turn to cackle. “Yoon, come on, that's a reach.” 
“Yeah, and besides, Hyoseop-ssi is Jin hyung’s friend, he’s the same age as you, hyung.” Jimin explains. “Plus he’s a pre-law student, has 2 older sisters, raised by a single mom; he screams good guy, not to mention that his step-dad is rich as fuck! Dude got a yacht for his birthday.” 
Yoongi’s scowl gets deeper the more Jimin lists off Hyoseop’s ‘qualifications’. 
You sigh, putting a hand over his shoulder. “Chill Yoon, It’s just a date. If it turns out to be horrible then I’ll never see him again.” 
“But what if it turns out great? What happens then.” He spits out. 
“I don’t know, we’ll see- I guess.” You shrug.
Yoongi scoffs, standing up and moving towards the door of Jimin’s apartment. “Whatever, I’m gonna head out first— meeting Seyoung in a bit. See you guys tomorrow.” Without glancing back, he closes the door and disappears. 
Jimin tsks. “Hyung is such a hardass, when is he going to admit that he likes you.” He grumbles. 
“As if.” You scoff
You can’t help a small part of you be hopeful, that maybe, just maybe he would do the soap opera cliché of dramatically opposing your date, and declare his undying love for you. 
But even most soap opera’s didn’t turn out like that anyway. 
+ 1 
“Thanks for the food Hyoseop-ssi, it was really good.” You commend, rubbing your belly halfheartedly for show. 
Hyoseop chuckles, shaking his head at your antics. “Of course, I’m glad you like my cooking.” 
You and Hyoseop have been on 3 dates already, and they all turned out exceptionally well. Although both of you agreed to just take it slow and get to know each other more, rather than just jump into a premature relationship.
You were about to help him clean up when your phone rings. It was 11pm, and only one person could be calling you this late. 
“I’m sorry, let me get this real quick.” You excuse yourself. 
“No worries, take your time Y/N-ah.” 
You smile, moving towards his living room. 
“What’s the matter yoon.” You immediately say, not even bothering to look at the caller id. Only Min Yoongi had the gall to ignore your no phone calls after the 10pm rule. 
“Peach!! C-Can you come pick me up?” Muffled slurred words came through the phone, along with the faint thumping of music in the background. 
“Huh, what’s up? Aren’t you out with Joon and Hobi?” You ask, knowing that it was their scheduled hang out at the club today. 
“I was, b-but— hey watch it! Anyways, they left early and I forgot that I d-didn’t have a car, plus I don’t have a-anymore cash with me so…” he rambles, hiccuping occasionally. 
“Uhm…” you pause, looking back towards the kitchen, where Hyoseop was. 
“Please? It’s r-really fucking cold and I don’t want to p-puke and fall asleep on t-the sidewalk.” 
You sigh, rubbing your hand over your face. 
“Okay okay, I’ll pick you up in a bit, give me 5 minutes yoon, and I’ll be there.” 
“Thank you, y-you’re the best.” He mumbles. 
You end the call and make your way towards Hyoseop. 
“Everything okay?” Hyoseop asks, noticing your furrowed brows. 
“Uhm, I have to go pick up Yoongi from the club, he’s plastered and has no one to take him home. I’m sorry it’s so sudden.” You explain. 
Hyoseop nods understandably. “Go for it, I don’t mind. He’s your bestfriend isn’t he? I wouldn’t want him to get into trouble.” 
You nod, grabbing your coat and bag from the counter. “Yeah, thank you Hyoseop-ssi, I’ll make it up to you.” 
Hyoseop flashes a grin. “If you want to make it up to me, come with me to my sister’s birthday next week on my dad’s yacht.” 
“A yacht? Okay big time swinger, no need to pull out the big guns.” You joke, swatting him on the shoulder lightly. 
“Hey, that’s my condition. Take it or leave it.” He jokes, smiling even wider. 
“Alright alright. I’ll go.” You agree, chuckling at the man in front of you. 
“Good, now go save your best friend.” He playfully dismisses you with a flick of his wrist.
While you speed to leave, you fail to notice the look that Hyoseop gives you, the look of someone who knows when a person is in love with someone else. 
— • —
“Peach! Y-You made it!” Yoongi bellows out as you get out of your car to help him up as he was almost passed out on the sidewalk. 
“Come on Yoon, up we go into the car.” You manage to drag him up and successfully get him inside. 
“Please don’t puke in my car, if you need to vomit, wait until we get to my apartment.” You plead
Yoongi basically passes out in your car, eyes closed the entire 15 minute trip back to your apartment. 
He only stirs when you poke his cheek to wake him up. 
“Come on yoon, we’re here.” He grumbles incoherently, before struggling to unbuckle himself. 
You drag Yoongi’s ass to the couch where he plops down, hands rubbing his face. 
“God what did you drink, how are you this drunk.” You interrogate, grabbing a spare towel from the cupboard and soaking it in cold water. 
Yoongi groans. “I don’t k-know, whiskey, tequila, brandy fuck a l-lot.” You start wiping his face with the cold towel, hoping to ease the effects of alcohol even just a little bit. 
“That’s dangerous yoon, you got shitfaced even though you knew that you couldn’t go home with the boys.” You lecture. 
“I know p-peach.” 
You sigh, continuing to wipe him down with the cold towel, you stop though when he grabs your wrist. 
“What?” You ask, avoiding his gaze. 
Your heart started to beat wildly, the close proximity and his hand on your wrist did not help ease it at all. 
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers. 
“Oh please, you’re acting like you don’t insult my darn good looks everyday.” You chuckle nervously, prying your wrist out of his hand. 
“I’m serious p-peach.” He stutters out. 
“Knock it off Yoon, you need to get some sleep.” You grumble, resuming your actions from before. 
A hand on your cheek stops you in your tracks. You move your gaze, finally locking eyes with your best friend. 
“I r-really want to kiss you right now.” 
And oh does your heart shatter. 
On a regular day, this would have been your ‘it’ moment. The moment where you jump in happiness and act out a cliché seen from a movie. 
You’d probably jump in his arms, wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him like there was no tomorrow. 
Drunk Yoongi didn’t mean any of this, it was his default (or so you thought) to be flirty to anyone when he’s shitfaced. 
All you wanted was his love, and he somewhat declares it in a way you know he wouldn’t be remembering tomorrow. 
And that fucking breaks your already cracked heart. 
Tears sting your eyes, as you gently remove his hand from your cheek. Chuckling somberly. 
“Real sweet, but I wish you were sober.” You whimper.
Fuck did you wish he was sober. 
You truly did. 
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I hope you guys liked it 🥹
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coldraviolis · 3 months ago
Bitter longing/I'm sorry but I still love u
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wishing-for-deathx · a year ago
“I don’t know if people like me ever find love. I think I’m just the kind of person who loves. I’m always the one who loves without being loved in return.”
— unrequited love is my destiny
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imcuterthanu · 4 months ago
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hvilsn · 7 months ago
the way I loved you wasn’t normal and the way you broke me wasn’t either
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vvingless · 9 months ago
I cannot let go. This is my great flaw, i grip every thing i love with both hands and sink my teeth in for good measure.
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coffee-scripts · 10 months ago
I’ve started to wonder
If there’s something broken in me
Maybe I’m made to love
Not to be loved
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honeypleasejustkillme · 8 months ago
every time you send a dry text or you take 5 hours to respond it feels like your hand is being plunged into my bare chest and ripping my heart out, and if i were to say this out loud i would be being “manipulative” and “dramatic” but it actually feels like i’m dying. it feels like i’m being physically hurt, but of course i still run after you because who would i be without you? i would have nothing to live for, no one to obsessively think about and adore. i would have no one to be completely and whole heartedly in love with, and being absolutely infatuated with you is the worst pain i’ve felt in my life but i wouldn’t change it for a second. you are the worst and best thing that’s ever happened to me but goddamn it i wouldn’t be here without you. i owe everything to you, i fucking adore you my beloved.
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withlovefromcannelle · 4 days ago
Even before I was touched, I belonged to you; All you had to do was to look at me.
— Louise Glück, from Poems 1962-2012; "The Burning Heart"
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htvpgenny · 10 days ago
I’ve never met anyone else like you. And I don’t think I ever will…And I’m not saying that cause it's cliché…I’m saying that because no one ever moved me the way that you do.
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invalid-request · 25 days ago
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shmwrites · 3 months ago
I promise you that there is no way that your life would be better with someone who doesn’t want to be in it.
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sickandinlove04 · 10 months ago
You know what sucks? Not only do I constantly want to see you and hug you and talk to you, I constantly want to talk about you to whoever will listen. I want to talk about how I miss you and want to see you. I want to ask people how you’re doing and what you’re up to. It sucks and I hate it.
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wishing-for-deathx · 10 months ago
It’s not that I won’t fall in love again. I think I can. I’m silly and naive like that. I fall so damn easily. Even though I know I’ll never love someone the way I love him but I think I can love again. But I do know that, it’s not worth it because no one will ever fall for me. It’s always going to be the same story for me. Unrequited love. You see I fall too easily but I’m so fucking hard to love. So it’s better this way, being alone.
— I don’t think I’ll make it if I love someone without being loved again
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tenderwildfires · 25 days ago
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- monica mauriello
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