Being incarcerated led Spencer Reid to lose all control in his life and once out he tries to take it back in anyway he can.
But now he’s losing much more than his control, he’s losing the love of his life. And if he can’t admit to his issues he risks losing her for good.
But when you drop a bombshell, Spencer realises he has to get better at any cost. Because now it’s bigger than the two of you and Spencer could well lose everything if he doesn’t admit to his shortcomings and make things right.
Pairing: Professor!Spencer Reid x Student!Male!Reader
Warnings: Professor/student, semi-public sex, office sex, master kink, sir kink, blindfolds, dirty talk, degradation, blow jobs, hand jobs, teasing
A/N: another spencie one shot because i can
The ringing of your alarm roused you from sleep. You picked your head up, looking at which alarm it was only to find it was the very last alarm. The alarm that was a last resort that usually told you, you were fucked. “SHIT!” you exclaimed, practically jumping out of bed and throwing on clothes. Jeans, a t-shirt, a hoodie, shoes, backpack, phone, wallet, key to dorm room. You looked around, making sure you had everything before damn near sprinting out the door. The walk—or run, in your case—across campus was about seven minutes. You flew up the stairs of the humanities building, trying not to knock other students over as you barreled through the building.
When you got to your lecture hall, you looked through the window of the door, waiting for the professor to turn around so you could sneak in and take the last seat in the backrow. He turned, going to write something on the white board and you opened the door as quietly as you could manage, slipping inside and sitting down without drawing any attention to yourself.
“And does anyone know what the hypothalamus does?” the professor asked, turning around and looking out across the lecture hall. “How about you, in the back that just walked into class and sat down, thinking that I wouldn’t notice.”
You stilled, looking up from where you were pulling your notebook and pen out of your backpack and staring at him, mouth slightly agape from pure surprise.
“Well?” he asked, leaning against the desk in front of the whiteboard and crossing his arms across his chest.
“Um, the hypothalamus links the nervous system to the endocrine system through the pituitary gland. It is responsible for some metabolic processes and other processes within the autonomic nervous system,” you say, your voice wavering a bit. It’s not that you were unsure of your answer, it’s that you were caught off guard completely.
The professor nodded, giving you small, satisfactory smile. “Very good… what’s your name?”
“Um, y/n. Y/n y/l/n,” you called out.
“Well, very good, y/n. Alright, let’s talk about the limbic system,” he went on, turning back around and starting to write things out on the board. You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, relief flooding you as you went back to pulling things out and starting your notes. The lecture was pretty standard, the professor going over everything on an anatomical scale so you could understand the physicality of psychology. The professor looked down at his watch, checking the time. “I don’t have anything else for today. You all may leave. Don’t forget that we will be going over the packet I assigned next class. You’re free to leave, except y/n. I need to speak to you,” he announced, everyone starting to pack up their things and leave, laughing and talking with one another.
You sat in the back row, slowly packing your things up to delay whatever he wanted to say by at least another minute. You threw your bag over your shoulders and walked down to the front of the lecture hall where the man was leaning against his desk, hands in his pockets. He was taller, lanky, more on the pale side, longer hair, dressed in a black suit, his dress shirt patterned with a gray and crimson sweater and black tie to complete the look. He had a small smile on his face, his eyes following you and watching you as you came to stand in front of him, your eyes nervously darting between his and the floor.
“You wanted to speak with me, professor?” you asked, trying not to let your voice waver from your nervousness.
“Yes. I wanted to discuss your lateness,” he said smoothly, his tone and body language visibly relaxed.
“Oh, yeah, um… sorry about that. I just woke up really late. I’m sorry if I interrupted or disturbed you in anyway,” you apologized, rubbing the back of your neck out of nervousness. You looked up at him, swallowing as you waited to determine for him to determine your fate, so to speak.
He smiled, his eyes warm and compassionate unlike many other professors. “It’s alright, y/n. You did incredibly well for coming in late. You answered a question I didn’t think you would be able to answer because you came in late. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. College is difficult for some and can take a toll on people mentally. I don’t want my students to fall behind because something is burdening them,” he explained, your body relaxing. He chuckled, your relief visible on your face.
You shook your head, giving him a tight smile, “no, I’m alright. I’m double majoring, so sleep is kind of non-existent.”
“Ah. What is your second major?” he queried, seemingly genuinely invested.
“Human communication,” you answered.
“Mm, makes sense. Well, if there is anything you need help with, I would be more than happy to help you, y/n. You seem incredibly bright. Office hours are 4pm to 6pm on weekdays. Don’t be afraid to reach out should you need it,” the professor said.
You nodded, “thank you professor… sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
“Reid. Doctor Spencer Reid.”
You sat in the library at one of the tables reserved for studying, scribbling down notes, and trying to make your life easier when you went to study later. Your packet was laying next to your books, diagrams and charts all over it as it went over the different parts of the nervous system and then related it back to psychology. You stared down at one section of the notes and then to the packet, realizing you had missed the part of the lecture where Professor Reid had gone over it. You opened up your email account, deciding to shoot him an email in hopes of avoiding office hours.
To: Spencer Reid
From: Y/N Y/L/N
Subject: Packet Notes
Good afternoon, Professor,
I was wondering if there was a reference in the textbook or a copy of the lecture I could use to fill out the first section of the notes packet. I missed it because I came in late.
You went back to working, sitting at the table for another hour as you reorganized notes for other classes in your second major. You looked up at your laptop as it dinged, telling you there was a message sitting in your inbox.
To: Y/N Y/L/N
From: Spencer Reid
I don’t have any photocopies, nor do I have a video of the lecture. You can come to my office within the next hour if you wish to go over it one-on-one. I’m not the biggest fan of technology, anyways. Or you can get the notes from a classmate, if you wish to do it that way.
Doctor Spencer Reid
You sighed, packing up your things and walking to the humanities building. You walked down the hallway, walking until you found the office labeled ‘Spencer Reid’. You took a deep breath in and knocked on the door, waiting for a response or to be let inside. A few seconds later the door opened, revealing Professor Reid and his office. The office was lighter than you had expected, light gray walls and dark accents creating a more sophisticated feeling in the room. The office was a decent size, allowing for a desk, chairs, and a small armchair as well as two bookshelves, books of all sorts crammed on the shelves. Papers cluttered the desktop, books piled on the corners as well as files and assignments. The wall behind his desk chair hung diplomas and certifications as well as awards. A photo of him and a group of 6 others celebrating something sat on a cabinet behind his desk as well.
“Y/n, please. Sit,” he said, motioning towards one of the two chairs that sat across from his desk. You did as you were told, setting your backpack on the floor, and taking out two pens and the study packet. He sat down next to you rather than across from you behind his desk. “So, what are you having trouble with?” he asked, taking one of the pens you offered him.
“Um, just the first section. I think I missed it. It goes in depth on the basis of psychosomatic symptoms of mental disturbances in relation to the brain and body,” you explained, showing him what exactly you were talking about and then flipping the page, “and then the diagrams based on those things that are meant to visualize the section.”
“Ah, alright,” he acknowledged, taking the packet from your hands, “so this is simply a diagram of the cortexes of the brain. We will go over those more in depth in the next week. This is a diagram connecting the cortexes, the nervous system, and then the extremities, showing the effect of psychosomatic symptoms on the body. They are color coded, but this is printed in black and white, which is why they are more difficult to read.”
“Oh. I see. Is there a colored copy I can borrow or snap a picture of?” you asked, “it’s more expensive to print things in color. I didn’t realize it would matter, but I can color code the items myself.” You looked up at him, a small plea in your eyes.
He smiled, nodding, “of course. I have an extra copy in my desk you can have.” He got up, rounding his desk, and opening one of the drawers, taking something out and then taking out a packet. He handed it to you, letting you take it from him before he put the folder back and retrieved something off his desktop. You assumed it was an answer key. He rounded the desk again, sitting back down in his chair and leaning back, flipping through the pages until he got to his diagrams.
A sudden thought struck you, a frown marring your face as you got lost in thought. “Um, professor?” you asked, slightly apprehensive.
“How did you know I came in late with your back turned?” you asked, turning to look at him in the eyes.
He smirked, “I work for the FBI as well as here. I’m a profiler for the BAU. I’ve been trained to see smaller details and behaviors. I saw you from the window and then once I turned around listened to you come in. You took the last available seat in the back row, an attempt to not disturb anyone.” You gaped at him, blinking in surprise.
“You’re a professor and an FBI agent in one of the most difficult units in the FBI?” you asked, disbelief painted all over your face.
“Don’t look so surprised, y/n,” he began, leaning in, his smirk growing wider and more wicked, “you don’t want to find out what happens when you doubt me.” Your eyes went as wide as dinner plates, your throat working on a swallow as a nervous shiver mixed with slight sexual curiosity ran down your spine. A quick thought of ‘nope’ ran through your mind. Getting tangled up with a professor, at least ten years your senior, was not a good idea. “Now, where were we?” he asked, leaning back again.
Your eyes darted back down to the packet in your lap, your mind temporarily scrambled from his comment. “Oh, right. S-Sorry. Uh, we were talking about this second diagram on page 10,” you said hoarsely, your mouth feeling dry.
“Right. As I was saying earlier…”
It had been a day since your encounter with Professor Reid and the entire ordeal in his office. You had his class again tomorrow, giving you day without having to be subjected to his raging sex appeal. You never really had much interest in men or women, but your professor was a different story it seemed. You had finished your work for your classes, freeing up some free time for you.
“I work for the FBI as well as here.”
You took out your laptop, pulling up a search engine and typing in ‘Doctor Spencer Reid FBI’ and hitting the enter key to start the search. All sorts of images, articles, and videos came up. On the side there was a Wikipedia biography, detailing his age and his profession, achievements, and things of that nature. You learned in ten short minutes that he had three P.H.Ds and was a graduate of Caltech University. He had gone to school as a child prodigy and was the youngest person to ever join the BAU. He was credited in solving a very long list of cold case files. He was only 35 years old, putting him at 14 years your senior.
“Jesus, this guy has earned almost every academic award known to mankind,” you muttered under your breath, sarcasm emanating from your tone. You kept reading about him, even reading some of his scientific journals about mathematics and other subjects. He was a good writer and he explained things extremely well. Interesting. Very, very interesting.
You woke up earlier on Friday morning, giving you more time to get ready for class. You took a shower and thought through your clothing choice, putting on black patterned slacks, a black turtleneck, and a tan overcoat that you had received for your 19th birthday. You gathered your things, making the walk across campus, rather than sprinting like you had days before and getting to lecture hall ten minutes early. You took a seat in the front row this time, smirking at your professor whose steps seemed to stutter the second he laid eyes on you. You just went about preparing for the lecture, acting like you had no clue what you were doing.
He cleared his throat, continuing his own preparation and writing things on the board. You took out your notebook and the packet as well as a pen, flipping the pen around in your fingers. You went over your notes and the packet again, trying to be prepared for any question that happened to be fired your way. People started pouring into the room, taking their seats and getting their things out.
“Good morning, class. I hope everyone did the packet I assigned. What’s in that packet is imperative to today’s class,” Professor Reid explained, smiling at everyone in the lecture hall. You looked at him, twirling the pen between your fingers and smirking. In part you were paying attention. The other part of you was eye fucking your professor, which wasn’t something you should be doing.
The lecture went on as normal, everyone taking notes and paying attention so they wouldn’t miss a thing. “Who can tell me what the difference between white and gray matter?” Professor Reid asked, pointing at someone random, “how about you.” The girl opened her mouth, trying to find something but came up empty, shrugging at him. “Anyone else?”
No one else raised their hands or threw out an answer. You waited until he turned around. He turned around, starting to write on the whiteboard, “white matter is—”
“Is made up of axons connecting the gray matter together. Gray matter is the dendrites, axons, and cell bodies within the brain,” you explained, smirking as he turned around and looked at you with a grin on his face, “a bit slow on the draw today, aye, professor?” Stifled chuckles and laughs filled the room, smiles and grins breaking out on your classmates faces.
Professor Reid grinned devilishly, rising to your challenge effortlessly. “See me after class, y/n. But you are correct, very good,” he praised, going back to what he was doing. You bit your bottom lip, paying attention to both his hands and the lecture.
A half hour passed, the lecture winding down and the professor eventually saying, “everyone is free to leave, except y/n. I need to speak with you.” You watched as everyone filed out of the room, Professor Reid smirking as he came to stand in front of you, hands in his pocket. You swallowed, your eyes focused on the desk and not the man standing in front of you. You flinched when two fingers snaked under your chin, tilting your head up to look him directly in the eye, a smoldering heat in his eyes. His thumb stroked over your chin, a seductive smile spreading across his face. Your pulse was racing, your heart threatening to rip out of your chest.
“You must have thought that was funny, teasing me and eye fucking me during my lecture,” he began, his voice low and decadent, “and then you just had to make a joke about my intellectual standing, didn’t you, y/n? I warned you last time, and you went and ignored my wishes like an arrogant little brat.” You shivered, your eyes darting away but a small smack to your face had your eyes directly back on his. “You’re going to follow me to office, and we are going to continue this there, understand?” he asked curtly, arching a brow.
“Yes,” you said quietly. He gave you a hard look, silently demanding something. You just stared for a moment, confused.
“Come on, y/n. I haven’t done a thing and you’re already a braindead little slut for me. Figure it out,” he mocked.
You just say the first thing that makes sense to you, hoping it would be correct. “Yes sir,” you say, although your voiced waivered with unspoken skepticism.
“There you go. Not quite as dumb as you seem when you’re aroused,” he praised, the humiliating words going straight to your dick. “Come on,” he ordered, motioning for you to follow as he began walking out of the room and towards his office. You followed behind him, thanking god you weren’t hard yet as the humanities building was starting to have more people flowing in and out of it. He let you into his office first, following directly behind you and locking the door. You suddenly felt kind of awkward, shuffling to the side and out of the way to put your bag down and to wait for him to take the lead. He stopped, sitting in the armchair, his legs spread to allow space between them. He wore a kind smile when he said, “y/n, you can say no or stop at any time and I will not be upset. Your consent is important. Do you understand?”
You nodded, “yes, professor, I understand. Thank you. This is kind of… um, new for me.”
“The sex part or the professor and breaking ethics part?” he asked, slightly amused.
“Um, both, kind of. I don’t have as much experience with other men,” you explained, fidgeting with your fingers. You felt someone nervous yet kind of giddy.
“That’s perfectly alright. Do you want this, yes or no? We don’t have to go all the way,” he explained, smiling up at you from his position in the armchair, his fingers starting to untie the purple tie around his neck.
“I don’t want to go all the way,” you replied, swallowing, and biting your bottom lip as he made direct eye contact with you, shrugging out of his suit jacket. His smile curved into a wicked grin, his fingers crooking in a ‘come hither’ motion. You came over to him, standing in front of him where you still had a foot of distance between you.
He pointed to your jacket, “take that off. You might want to take your shirt off too. And maybe your shoes if you don’t want them to crease.” You took off your jacket and shirt, not giving a damn about the beat up nike blazers on your feet. You draped them over the backs of one of the chairs, turning around and waiting for him to tell you what to do. He crooked his finger and you came closer to him, still keeping a foot of distance. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you to him, his other hand curling around your waist and holding you in place. His eyes raked down your body to your groin, where there was a growing bulge from your growing arousal.
He chuckled softly, teasing his fingers over your cloth covered erection. You took in a sharp breath, clearing your throat as he teased you. He looked back up at you with an evil, knowing grin on his face. “On your knees,” he ordered, releasing you. You sunk to your knees in the space between his legs, knowing instantly what he wanted. Your eyes flicked down to his groin, an impressive print growing in his slacks as he got harder and harder. His hand snaked down, sliding down his shirt slowly and then to the apex of his thighs, his hand palming himself through the material of his pants. You licked your lips hungrily, lust surging in the depths of your irises. “What do you want, y/n?” he asked, his voice taking on a rough, husky edge that made you let out a small groan in response.
You looked directly at where his hand was stroking himself and then looked back up at him, not saying a word. He shook his head, laughing, “no, y/n. Tell me what you want. Use your words.” You hesitated, your cheeks flushing in slight in embarrassment. “All you have to do is tell me and I’ll give it to you. Use your words and tell me what it is you want,” he coaxed, continuing to palm himself.
“I want your cock in my mouth,” you said softly, the words practically inaudible.
“Speak up, y/n. I can’t hear you.”
“I want you cock in my mouth,” you said louder, the words more forceful.
He smirked, stopping his motions, and removing his hands. “Then get to work,” he commanded, watching as you reached for his belt with shaky hands and unbuckled it, working on his fly and then pulling his cock out. “Y/n,” he said, prompting you to look up at him and pause, “if you want to stop, just tell me. If you can’t speak, tap me three times and I’ll stop as well.”
“Yes sir,” you replied before leaning down and taking the tip of his cock in your mouth, letting your tongue swirl around the smooth crown and then lick under the underside of his shaft. He let out a small groan, his fingers finding your hair. He closed his eyes, swearing in some foreign language you assumed as you licked up and down him, your hands resting on his thighs.
“Fuck, y/n, just like that. Very good,” he praised, his hips barely thrusting up into your mouth as you started to venture further, taking more of him in your mouth. One of your hands went to stroke him while you sucked him off, but you were stopped, his hand grabbing yours and placing it back on his thigh. He started pushing your head forwards, pushing you down farther and slowly starting to fuck your mouth, the tip of his cock pressing just barely against the back of your throat. You moaned around him, your own dick growing achingly hard. “God, such a natural submissive, aren’t you? You try and act like a brat but fall into line the second I even hint at something more. So smart, but so eager to be treated like a dumb little puppy,” he crooned, making you moan slightly louder, your moans mixing with light gagging noises as you took his cock down your throat.
He pulled you off his cock, staring down at you intently, his pupils dilated from pleasure. “You have to keep it quiet, puppy, or else someone might hear us. You can be good and stay quiet, can’t you?”
You nodded, “yes sir.”
“Good,” he said, pushing you back down towards his dick. You took him back in your mouth, letting him slide to the back of your throat as you choked slightly. You weren’t exactly a pro at this, but you weren’t new to it, either. “Relax your throat, pet. Your taking my cock so well,” he whispered, working you up and down on his cock. You did as he ordered, or at least the best you could, finding it a lot more helpful. You swallowed around him on a deeper stroke, a stifled moan escaping his lips. It was like music to your ears, spurring you on as you got impossibly harder. His breathing became harder as he thrust into your mouth deeper, his pace letting you take in air each time he pulled out but his strokes hitting deep in your throat. Precum leaked onto your tongue, another small moan emanating from your chest and around his dick.
He gave you a small smack to the face, pulling his cock all the way out of your mouth, his hand gripping it as he started stroking himself. You whined at the loss, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Puppy, I told you to be quiet. You can’t have my cock if you don’t do what I say and behave,” he admonished lightly.
“Please,” you begged quietly, mesmerized by his hand working up and down his dick.
“Please what, pet? What do you say?”
The word slipped out of your mouth before your brain had caught up.
“Please, master,” you pleaded before quickly realizing what you had said. Your eyes went wide, your body stilling as you waited for backlash or for the mood to effectively die.
“Fuck, y/n. Take my cock down your throat,” he demanded harshly, pushing you back down and letting his cock slip back down your mouth. You kitten licked the underside, trying to bob your head as best you could with his grip on your hair. “I’m gonna cum, puppy. You’re going to swallow it all like a good little pet, aren’t you?” You didn’t answer, you simply tried to suck him harder to show your enthusiasm of the idea. He rocked his hips up, his head thrown back in sheer ecstasy as he came, silent groans dying on his lips as he climaxed. You damn near came yourself, the sight incredibly erotic. He leaned back, his chest heaving, sweat beading from his forehead. His hand slid down, coming to cup your cheek, a lazy smile on his face as he floated in his orgasmic high.
He stood, moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips on your neck. “Are you ok with being blindfolded?” he asked in a whisper, his breath hot around your neck.
“Yes, fuck, please,” you begged. He grinned against your neck, the silk of his tie coming around your eyes, the feeling of it being secured around your head making you hyperaware of everything going on around you. His fingers dug into your bare skin, one hand sliding down to palm you like he had himself earlier.
“Such a good puppy. You sucked me off so, so well,” he praised, his fingers unbuckling you belt and slipping inside your boxers, stroking your aching erection. You let out a breathy moan, trying to be quiet. You bit your bottom lip as he sucked on your neck and shoulder, your hips rolling into his hand. Your hands found both his wrists, gripping onto him as your climax built. Pleasure sparked and coursed through you like electricity through a wire.
“Fuck, please. I need to cum so—ahh—bad. Please, sir,” you whispered, your body bowing. Your head fell back against his shoulder, his hands stroking you rhythmically.
“Cum for me, pet. Show me how good you feel. I want you to cum for me. You were such a good boy. Cum. Cum for me,” he demanded, his voice low and smooth. You whimpered as you climaxed all over his hand, your breathing hard as the euphoric sensation crashed over you. He pulled you back, pulling you into his lap and settling you there, his fingers slipping his tie off your face, revealing the room. “You’re amazing, y/n.”
Summary: After crushing in each other for years, you and Emily finally pull your shit together:)
Pairing : Emily Prentiss x Fem Reader
Warnings: Minimal swearing
Word Count : 1675
4:27am. Are you fucking kidding me.
You reluctantly rolled out of bed and dragged yourself to the bathroom, turning the shower on. You love your job, but getting called in at four in the morning was a fucking pain in the ass. After standing under the hot water for a considerable length of time, you got out and chose your outfit. Once you were ready, you repacked your go bag, and dropped your cat Willow off at your neighbours apartment, before heading to the office.
When you arrived, it was 5:02am, and you were pretty sure that in your current mood, if you didn't get some coffee soon, you were going to go full on unsub on someone. That mood was suddenly lifted as soon as you entered the bullpen - you ducked out of view and watched as your best friend Emily walked silently through the nearly empty office, and placed a mug of coffee on your desk. She gently sat it on your favourite coaster, then tiptoed back over to her desk, grabbing a small bag and sitting it next to the mug on your desk. She adjusted everything until it was the way she wanted it, and smiled to herself before sitting back at her desk. You also smiled to yourself, before walking in fully, pretending you didn't just spend three minutes hidden behind a wall watching her.
"Morning, Em!" You smiled.
"Oh hey!" She replied, clearly trying to act chill as if she hadn't just spent five minutes fixing you breakfast.
"What's this?" You asked, opening the small bag she left you.
"Oh, uh, I, I picked you up a croissant from the Starbucks downtown on my way in," She said, smiling sheepishly.
Your heart nearly burst, and you felt an overwhelming rush of butterflies in your stomach. The gesture was lovely, but wasn't helping you get over the huge crush you'd been harbouring for a while now. You pushed your feelings into a tiny little box in the back of your mind, because there was no way she felt the same - she was just being a good friend.
"Thank you," You smiled, before taking a bite of the croissant. "For this, and the coffee. Lunch is on me,"
She smiled back, but you couldn't help but notice how her eyes lingered a little longer than they were supposed to. Your "moment" was interrupted by Morgan and Garcia barging through the doors, shortly followed by JJ, Rossi and Reid, prompting Hotch to call you all into the conference room. You took a quick sip of your coffee and one last mouthful of your croissant, before following the team upstairs.
It was around 1:49pm when you walked back into the local PD, carrying two bags. You opened each door with your foot, and made your way to the conference room, finding Emily sitting alone with a file. The rest of the team were still away getting lunch.
"Hey, aren't you getting hungry?" You asked her.
"Uh, I'm fine, I'm nearly done with this-" She stopped rambling when she saw the bags of food. "You shouldn't have,"
"I told you, lunch was on me today. That coffee and croissant saved me from murdering someone this morning. I owe you," You said, earning a laugh from Emily. You felt a blush creep up your neck and across your cheeks, and you could've sworn you saw Emily's cheeks turn a faint pink - but it was probably nothing.
"What did you get?" She asked, as you continued to unpack.
"An italian BMT for the lady," You said, handing her her sandwich. "And a roast chicken sub for myself."
"Ugh, you're amazing," She said between mouthfuls.
You felt that same rush of heat in your cheeks again, and immediately got up to put the empty bags in the trash in a desperate attempt to hide your face.
"Seriously... thank you. I really needed this today..." She said, trailing off into a whisper almost. Her face had changed, and you could sense something was bothering her.
"Em, you okay?" You asked, concern lacing your tone.
"Oh, uh, yeah, yeah I'm good..." She lied.
"Don't lie to me. What's going on?" You said, matching your tone with hers.
"This doesn't leave this room-" She warned, your nerves making an appearance.
"This case- it, it's getting to me more than I care to admit..." She began shakily.
"In what way?" You asked.
"Regina- she said something to me, and it's kinda sticking with me," Emily said, taking a deep breath. You've known her long enough to know that that's her tell.
"She said that I have no idea what it's like when the monster from your nightmares comes back for you - that mine is dead, yet she still has to live with hers... it's stupid I know-" You cut her off.
"It's not stupid Emily. You went through a massive trauma, nobody expects you to magically be okay now that he's dead. You're still processing everything - that takes time, and we're all here to support you through it - I'm here to support you through it..." You told her, making sure she heard exactly what you were saying.
She let go of that breath, feeling a little calmer. "I have no idea what I'd do if you weren't my best friend..." She laughed nervously. Friend. That stung way more than it should've - but you put these feelings away in that little box at the back of your mind, attempting to compartmentalise it all.
"Seriously - thank you," She told you, grabbing your hand briefly, before getting up to put her napkins and stuff in the trash. Just at that, the rest of the team piled back into the station, ready to tie up the loose ends of the case before flying back that evening. You shook your head, laughing at your stupidity for falling for your best friend, before joining the rest of the team.
Back at Quantico, the team dragged themselves into the office to finish reports and grab their stuff before heading home for the night. Before you knew it, you looked up from your desk to find that most of the team had left, you Emily and Hotch being the only three remaining. You checked your watch, and decided that the reports could be finished in the morning. Throwing on your coat, you turned to look at Emily, still working away.
"Hey Em, we can finish those tomorrow, come on," You told her. She looked up at you anxiously, before reluctantly closing the file and grabbing her things. You both walked in silence to the elevator, but you could feel her eyes burning into your skull as you waited. After the silence had become just a little too uncomfortable, you turned to meet her, as she quickly diverted her gaze.
"What..." You asked with a smile.
"No, nothing- its nothing." She replied.
"You were staring at me- what, are you like in love with me or something?" You joked, not thinking anything of it - then your stomach suddenly dropped as her face turned a deep red - it was clear you'd correctly guessed her thoughts.
"Em-" You said, barely above a whisper. "Is that true?"
"I- uh- I um..." She began, her face turning a deeper red with each stutter.
"Emily look at me-" You told her, grabbing her wrists. She met your gaze, her eyes glassy.
"I love you too... I always have," You trembled, a single tear rolling down her face now.
"You have?" She cried ever so softly, her vulnerability catching you by surprise.
"Always... I- I never knew it was mutual," You smiled.
"I- I was going to tell you, but-"
"But then everything went to shit," You said, finishing her sentence.
"Yeah," She chuckled, sniffing back tears.
The elevator doors slid open and you squeezed in, taking her hand in yours as they closed behind you.
"Have you been sleeping?" You asked, not turning to face her, already knowing the answer.
"No..." She replied, barely loud enough to her - she was ashamed of being traumatised. You squeezed her hand tighter, before turning to face her.
"Come stay at my place tonight- we'll watch a movie, have hot chocolate, and maybe then you might be able to rest." You offered.
"Okay.." She smiled. "Thank you."
"Not necessary." You told her, interlacing your fingers with hers.
As soon as you got home, you kicked off your shoes and headed straight to your bedroom, grabbing clothes for both yourself and Emily. After you both got comfy, you made two rather large mugs of hot chocolate, finishing them quicker than either of you would care to admit.
"Hey it's late, you coming?" You asked Emily, nodding towards your bedroom.
"Sure," She smiled, letting you lead the way. You pulled back the covers, letting Em slide in first as you followed. Lying in the darkness, your arms wrapped around her body, pulling her closer to you. As she met your eyes, no words had to be spoken- you leaned in to give her a gentle kiss that said everything you wanted to say, her returning it with equal passion. She stroked your cheekbone with her thumb, before speaking up.
"I love you - I wish I'd told you sooner." She whispered.
"I do too - but we're here now - that's all that matters." You replied.
She hummed in response, before tucking her head into your shoulder. You drew tiny shapes on her back until you heard soft snores coming from underneath your ear. It was in that moment that you realised you'd never felt love like this before - a love that consumed you. You kissed her forehead before succumbing to the slumber along with her, wondering just how you got so lucky.
Super fluff for Hotch. Reader and hotch have a day off and are cleaning around the house listening to music quitely in the background when their wedding song comes on and hotch wants to dance.
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader
Whew chile it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written any Hotch fics I hope that you guys enjoy this short & sweet fic :)
You and your husband were finally able to have a day off just to yourselves and what do you choose to do, clean
You chose to clean the entire house from top to bottom. The kids were spending the weekend with their grandparents leaving you both to o whatever you pleased
The familiar melody of Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley filled the room and it didn't take long for your husband to place his hands on your hips pulling you into him. His hot breath fanned against the shell of your ear as he spoke
"Dance with me honey"
Turning around you draped your arms around his neck, lacing your fingers together as you both started swaying to the beat of the music, Aaron kissed your forehead and you sighed in content
Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be
He took your hands in his and spun you around before holding you in his arms again bringing a smile onto your face as your recalled how you both danced to this song for the first time as a married couple
Stairing lovingly into his eyes you fiddled with the hair on the nape of his neck, knowing that's one of his many weaknesses
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you
For I can't help falling in love with you
The song slowly came to an end and Aaron dipped you, capturing your lips in a sweet sensual kiss the same way he did all those years ago
Till this day you hadn't known how you were so lucky to have married this loving and thoughtful man named Aaron Hotchner but every night you thank your lucky stars that you did.
Send your Criminal Minds Requests here! I’m on an obsessive streak and I want to write some durables and one shots so send em through. I write the below characters in ‘x reader’ and all others are mutual.
♡ summary: tara finds out you’re into motorcycles and you end up giving her a ride on yours.
♡ requested: yes | no
♡ warnings: fluff, one mention of motorcycle accidents, no helmets but definitely don’t do that irl ─ be safe !
“all i’m saying is that motorcyclists are twenty-seven times more likely to have an accident than the average passenger car user.”
spencer rattled off in the bullpen. “i don’t know about you guys, but i’d pay to see reid on a motorcycle,” luke laughed at the thought, teasing the young doctor about his precaution. you’d made a joke to jj about wanting to go out “like a badass” on your motorcycle and here you were ten minutes later, getting an earful about why you shouldn’t joke about such matters.
“reid on a motorcycle?” tara’s voice came from behind you, clearly amused. “who do i have to thank for this oddly hilarious mental image?” she asked as she sat down. everyone turned their heads towards your desk, where your hand was already raised proudly.
“what, you’re into motorcycles, y/n?”
“y/n? into motorcycles?” jj beat you to a response. “don’t tell me she’s never gone on and on about them to you! she could give reid a run for his money. yeah, our girl’s into motorcycles.” a light-hearted laughter was shared before penelope called you all into a meeting, but the topic remained in tara’s thoughts. she hadn’t taken you for the motorcycle type and now that she knew, it was somehow fitting, but more importantly... attractive.
there were other things to do now, so tara supposed she’d ask you some more about it another time ─ but she’d definitely be asking.
the moment tara did ask was ten minutes after landing, six days later upon arriving from the case. she was immediately rewarded with a glint of excitement in your eyes and you biting your lip carefully. “my bike’s out back, you wanna see it?” it hadn’t struck her that you rode one too, though it was a welcome surprise. “lead the way,” she smiled, completely forgetting just how exhausted she was.
“isn’t she beautiful?” you sighed, stopping in front of your shiny, dark motorcycle. “she?” tara quirked an eyebrow, happily entertained by your newly discovered passion. “she.” you repeated back to her. “she’s certainly something,” tara admired for a moment before being snapped out of her thoughts by your misinterpretation of her interest. “you want a ride?”
instead of a reply, you were slightly (though pleasantly) shocked to see tara hop right onto the leather seat. “oh, did you want to drive?” she asked, the perfect amount of sass and innocence lining her words. “yes, actually, considering it’s mine,” you scoffed playfully before blatantly flirting with your coworker. “and i’d love for an excuse to have your arms around my waist.” evidently, your answer was good enough because tara stood to give you your spot.
her body pressed against yours behind you, situating itself on the seat. wrapping her arms around your waist like you’d wanted, tara rested her head against the back of yours. “ready when you are.” she gave you the okay, heart beating rapidly and ecstatically. cold air fought the warm weather, instantly blowing in your faces. tara sighed contently at the smell of your flying hair as her heart raced. your driving was steady, but wild, and she was honestly loving every second of it.
the day was coming to an end and the sky had its colour to show for it, twinges of orange making their way through the soft pink of sunset. everything else, the stress of her work and fight to navigate her life, was blown away and tara was left blissful. pink skies, your easy laughter, and tara’s heart having the time of its life with her feelings for you. the two most beautiful sights she could lay eyes upon in one spot, thriving in the wind. who knew that tara lewis would find her bliss on a motorcycle with the co-worker she so needed to call more? no one, if they were honest.
Request: Who’s Your Daddy Pt. 4 (If you haven’t read the first three parts then get to it, henny! We’ll be here waiting for you to catch up, no rush)
A/N: Hi, hello, everyone! After a no show for March and April, I HAD to post pt. 4 in May because I’ve been postponing it for so long im very sorry! I was not expecting to get two jobs and being swamped with work. That being said I hope pt. 4 was worth the wait and you enjoy it 💕 pt. 5 will be the last part to this series btw and hopefully I’ll have it out faster than pt. 4
You stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror with your mouth slightly open as you applied your mascara. You had never gotten ready with such enthusiasm in forever. As soon as you woke up, you played some of your favourite songs as you started your day to hype yourself even more for your overdue date with Dr. Spencer Reid.
It had been a while since you were giddy over a date with a guy. After months of spending time together here and there, you were glad you grew on him. You hated to admit he grew on you more ways than you thought he would. Once you found yourself thinking about him at work, home, and even at the grocery store. You couldn’t even pick up a carton of eggs without having him on your mind.
The date had been delayed a few weeks because he was busy with work as per usual. You didn’t mind since you knew he was still dedicated to taking you out. He apologized each time he had to postpone and it seemed genuine to you, so you didn’t mind. All you told him was to make it up to you by loosening up and not showing up to the date with his work clothes. You wanted to him and yourself distanced from any image of his job to leave room for a more casual tone between the two of you.
As you applied your lipgloss you even started to wonder if he would like this shade on you or if he’d prefer you wearing something darker. It was crazy to you how much he went from not being a thought in your mind to you thinking of his thoughts about you. You guessed it was your fault for inserting yourself into his life over and over again until you needed to know him behind the scenes. You laughed at yourself as you finished applying your lipgloss.
“What a fucking guy,” you said to yourself.
You couldn’t even recall the last time you were excited about a date. The last few dates were with guys you had matched with on Tinder which never led to anything deeper than a couple of dates and more than one sexual encounter. For the longest time, you thought Spencer would be no exception but it was a different dynamic.
He worked to break down your tough exterior and give into him. He made you feel open in ways you didn’t think you’d ever let a guy do again. Now that you knew he was just as soft for you s you were for him, it felt as if you two were finally pursuing things further than you two expected to.
You heard a knock on your apartment door. You picked up your phone from the bathroom counter and then walked into your bedroom to pick up your purse. You heard another couple of impatient knocks at your door.
“I know you’re eager to go out with me but damn,” you yelled.
You rushed out of your bedroom to open the door before he knocked it down. To your surprise, it was Jack standing in front of you with his backpack draping over his shoulder. Your eyes widened as he looked at you with curiosity in your eyes.
“You have a date? With who?” He asked.
“Um, sir, I should be asking the questions around here considering you’re the one who is here unannounced,” you said.
“I was on my way to Justin’s house to play some video games and I thought I would stop by to hang out with you for a few minutes,” he said.
You looked at him with a pout and sorry eyes as you felt horrible for not being able to entertain him before he headed to his friend’s place. He stopped by here and there before to talk to you about anything and everything. Even though you two weren’t close in age and had lived apart for the majority of your lives, he always found value in talking to you.
You sighed softly to yourself as you reached into your purse to grab your keys. You grabbed the doorknob to close the door behind you. You turned around to lock it before turning back to Jack with a huge, enthusiastic smile.
“How about I walk you to your friend’s house and we can have classic sibling bonding time even if it’s for a few minutes?” You suggested.
“Y/N, I’m nearly 15. I don’t need my older sister to drop me off at my friend’s house. If you have a date, that’d okay,” he said.
You weren’t going to take that for an answer. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders as you started to walk. He had no choice but to follow your steps towards the elevator.
“I don’t care if your voice is deeper and you’re growing a little facial hair, you’re still my baby brother. Besides, my date can wait,” you said.
“Can I guess who your date is?” He asked.
“Nope,” you said.
As you reached the elevator, you pressed the down button. You looked at your phone in your hand and unlocked the screen to text Spencer about meeting you by the lake instead. You didn’t even have to look towards Jack to know he was trying to snoop a peek at who you were texting. You angled your phone away from him as you struggled to text with one hand.
“Is it Dr. Reid?” He asked.
“No,” you snapped.
“You sure? It seemed as if you two were flirting with each other at the party a few weeks ago,” he said.
“Oh, so you’re a profiler now?” You asked.
“No, but I’m not blind to flirting. I’ve done my fair share,” he said.
You gasped playfully at what he said. He smirked to himself, trying his best not to look at your exaggerated expression. As the elevator doors open, you dropped your arm from around him and placed both hands on your hip as you two entered.
“Well, well, well, look who’s the flirt now. Who’s the lucky person?” You asked.
“Once you tell me who your lucky person is, I’ll tell you mine,” he said.
“I’ll let you know in due time,” you said.
“And I’ll do the same,” he said.
You chuckled. “Touché.”
You scurried over to the rocks which separated the sand from the green grass on the other side. You looked around the crowd of people to see if you could find Spencer. It wasn’t hard to spot someone so tall who was probably wearing something way too heavy for the summer weather. It turned out to be harder than you expected it to be.
You walked down further to see if you could spot him. He texted you explaining where he was and you told him to share his location. Of course, he never made anything easy for you and wanted you to find him using old-fashioned direction techniques. If you had known he would do this you would have dusted off your old compass.
You walked until you reached the end of the rock path and still didn’t see any sight of him. You sighed as you took out your phone from your purse to text him. You knew you were late but he better not have left you hanging out of spite. You would make sure he would never hear the end of it.
As you were texting him, you felt a hand gently land on your mid-back. No matter how gentle it felt, you balled your firsts together as you turned to see who had the audacity to touch you. You turned to see a man in a blue baseball cap, a dark grey shirt, a pair of jeans and converse. Your fists softened as soon as you saw his face clearly and recognized his overgrown hair curling out of his cap.
“Spencer? Where’s the suit? The dress shirt? Is that facial hair?” You questioned.
“Were you about to hit me?” He asked.
“Yes, you don’t just sneak up on someone differently and expect me not to go into fighting mode,” you said.
“Do you not like it? You told me to dress super casual for once in my life. I didn’t think you’d reward me with your fists,” he said.
“Why didn’t you shout my name or something?” You said.
“I did but you were too busy speed walking to hear me. You passed me back there,” he said.
He turned his head and pointed towards the direction you just came from. You looked at him puzzled as soon as he turned around to look at you. You relaxed your puzzled confusion when you realized you were looking for a man in a suit, not casual wear. You never expected him to take your advice of loosening up for you.
“Guess I was looking for the usual you,” you said.
“Well, I thought I’d follow your request and show a different side of me,” he said.
You smiled as you grabbed his upper arm to pull him close to you. You guided him to walk back the way you both came from. You gently squeezed his bicep to keep him close to you.
“I have to say I’m impressed you take direction so well,” you joked.
“Better than you ever could,” he chuckled.
You playfully gasped. “If I recall correctly I was on my knees faster than the speed of light when you told me to.”
“I was talking more about not giving me subpar reads but we’ll go with that example as well,” he said.
“Ugh, all this slander already and you haven’t even kissed me,” you said.
You looked at him with your signature pouty look and seductive eyes to lure him into your lips. He rolled his eyes playfully at your expression. If he looked at you the same way you looked at him, you would have already pulled him in for a full PDA session.
He leaned in and kissed you on the top of your forehead. You furrowed your eyebrows as you didn’t want him to kiss your forehead. You wanted him to show you how much you meant to him in public as much as you meant to him in private. He then gently on your nose. And then he stopped in his tracks to grab your face to kiss you quickly but with a hit of passion in the way his mouth moved against yours.
“Satisfied?” He asked.
“You know I’m greedy, Doctor but I guess it’ll do for now,” you said.
He chuckled. “Let’s take a seat by the lake. Try not to jump all over me.”
You chuckled. “Only if you promise not to do the same.”
“I would but I think you’d enjoy it quite a bit.”
“Oh, you know me so well.”
As you two sat by the lake, it felt as if you were back in the book store. The way you two easily exchanged conversation was beautiful. He still had a million things to talk to you about in vast details and you still interrupted to say your own take on the topic. You even gave him book recommendations you knew he had already read because he reads everything but you thought you would tell him anyway.
Everything felt easier in the moment you two were talking and throwing rocks into the lake. You don’t think you had felt so natural around a man in a long time. No stiff dinner date, club grinding, or quiet movie date could compare to taking in the summer breeze with Spencer.
The way he would look at you the whole time when you were talking to make sure you knew he was invested in your words. The way his large hands would hold your knee as he rambled. It felt as if the progression of your time together was coming full circle.
“You know, when I didn’t see you I thought you changed your mind,” you told him as you threw a rock into the lake.
“Why would you think that?” He asked.
“I don’t know. People change their minds all the time,” you said.
“I wouldn’t stand you up just because you were being a big sister. It’s actually pretty good on your part that you have a relationship with Jack despite the age gap,” he said.
“Psychologists do say a five-year gap and beyond restarts the birth order process, so technically speaking we’re only children in our respective worlds,” you said.
He looked at you impressed with the information you just told him. You knew he knew your little fact, so you smirked and rolled your eyes.
“You’re not the only one who knows these things,” you joked.
“Never said I did but you’re right. You do a good job at keeping the bond strong though considering you went to boarding school overseas and then went away to college all before Jack was 10,” he said.
You shrugged. “I’m just trying to do my part as a big sister regardless of age and distance. Never too late, you know?”
“I actually don’t. I don’t have any siblings,” he said.
“I know that. You told me that when I asked if you had any siblings. I may not have an eidetic memory but my memory game is still strong,” you said.
“I wasn’t doubting your memory, I was doubting your listening skills,” he chuckled.
You playfully gasped and nudged him with your elbow. You were going to reply to his snarky remark with an even lower comment but your attention went somewhere else as soon as you looked down. The yellow petals of a flower buried in the sand were calling you and you had to bring your attention to it. You dusted off the sand concealing it to expose its true beauty. You picked it up by the stem to inspect it up close.
“Ah, a gladiolus. Are you going to add it to your scrapbook?” Spencer asked.
You looked at him confused. “What?”
“You told me you liked collecting flowers and pressing them in your scrapbook. You said you usually collect ones that remind you of good times in your life,” he said.
“I know I did but why would you think I’d save it?” You asked.
You couldn’t help breaking into a small giggling fit as soon as you saw him roll his eye but smile at your witty remark. You dusted off the rest of the sand off the petals as you admired its beauty. You were definitely going to put it in your scrapbook to remember the day but as you thought about it longer you became weary.
Maybe things between you two wouldn’t work out as planned. Maybe what you two had passionately started would burn out just as quick. You twirled the flower around in your hand as your thoughts twirled around in your mind.
In your blank stare, you noticed his hand come into your sight as he placed it in his lap. You snapped back down to earth and took your eyes off of the flower to set your sights on him. He looked at you softly with the same genuine look in his eyes.
“You know, I did mean it,” he said.
“Mean what?” You asked.
“On the cup. I’m soft for you as much as you are for me. You don’t have to keep second-guessing it,” he said.
“How soft are you for me really? People can fake those feelings easily you know,” you said.
“Y/N, I respect you too much to play with your feelings. I respect anyone’s feelings and wouldn’t go out of my way to hurt anyone,” he said.
You smiled. “I think that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me. That and calling me a stupid whore.”
He chuckled and squeezed your knee before getting up. He reached out for your hand in such a charming manner you couldn’t help but grab hold of it. He singlehandedly brought back chivalry as he pulled you up and fixed your dress for you.
“Let’s go get some ice cream to cool your thoughts down,” he chuckled.
“Now you’re speaking my love language,” you said.
As you stood up, you let go of his generous hand for a second to place the gladiolus in your purse with care. You then immediately grabbed his hand again before he walked off without you or something. The look of happiness on his face with that big, goofy smile of his assured you otherwise.
You stepped onto the rock to lead the way towards the ice cream truck close to the entrance. He kept up with your pace as he followed next to you. Walking hand-in-hand with him was nice and everything but you thought of how everything you two did consisted of thrill, excitement, and rapid heartbeats.
You let go of his hand. He looked at you with confusion and concern on his face but you could tell he was slowly cluing into your random spontaneity. You smiled as you started to pick up your pace, leaving him a few inches behind you.
“Let’s have a race. Loser pays,” you said.
You sprinted off before he could finish his sentence. You held down your dress as you ran, trying not to expose your goods to him on the first date as he ran behind you. Or you assumed he was running behind you.
You looked back to confirm whether or not he agreed to your little bet. You giggled as you saw him lightly jogging close behind you. You could tell he wasn’t much of a runner and that he wasn’t putting his entire effort into running because he wanted to pay. You were just glad he was putting in the effort for you to add a little energy into the date.
As you reached the extensive line in front of the ice cream truck, you stopped running and turned around to see Spencer slowly approach you in line. You grinned and gave him a small round of applause as he stopped in his spot next to you.
“You made it, slowpoke,” you said.
“I would have beaten you if I was wearing running shoes,” he said.
“You would have won if you tried a little harder,” you chuckled.
“That too. I guess I’m buying you a vanilla cone,” he said.
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Why a vanilla cone?”
“Isn’t that your favourite soft serve flavour?” He asked.
“Um, maybe but I’ve never told you that. At least I don’t think I have,” you said.
“You didn’t have to. You may be spontaneous and adventurous but there’s a part of you who likes the simplistic things in life. Vanilla ice cream is the most simplistic flavour out there,” he said.
“Ugh, and this whole time I thought you were just showing off your psychic abilities. Well, if you’re going to profile my ice cream flavour then I’m going to do the same thing to you. Your favourite flavour is chocolate,” you said.
He chuckled. “That’s because I told you I prefer chocolate anything.”
“Okay but I was still right, so I guess we’re both profilers now. That being said, since you’re such a good profiler, what do you think I’ve been dying to ask?” You said.
He looked at you confused. You looked at him with a smile as you waited for him to click into what you were talking about. If he was so smart he would know exactly what you were referring to and he would tell you. As soon as a reminiscent smile appeared on his face, you knew he understood what you were talking about.
“Well, Penelope bombarded me with questions about you and me and what we are and if your dad knew and so on. Then I slipped out how we never actually went on a date and she asked why. I kept on dodging the question because I didn’t want to but eventually I told her,” he said.
“Why did you hesitate?” You asked.
“Because I know how my job is and what you’ve been through because of the same job your dad does, so I was worried about putting you in the middle of it again,” he explained.
“And what did Penelope say when you finally told her your reason?” You asked.
“She told me to get out of my big brain and ask her out already, stupid,” he said.
“I would have said the same thing. You’ve been preaching to me about being vulnerable and open, so I think it’s time for you to do the same, don’t you think?” You said.
“You’d think I was the stupid whore this whole time,” he chuckled.
“I mean, if the shoe fits,” you said.
You both laughed but you could tell there was something he wanted to ask as well. As you two moved up in the line, you stared intently at him trying to figure out what he wanted to say and if he would say it. He looked at you but didn’t appear as if he was ready to ask his question.
As you two moved up in the line again, you decided to bring in the age-old question you two had discussed before. You wanted to know if his feelings changed about the topic or if he still had the same doubts. Between the time he stormed into the bookstore livid at you to his more relaxed demeanour now could mean his mind has changed.
“Do you think it’s still a big deal?” You asked.
“I do but knowing Hotch, he’d rather see you happy than interfere,” he said.
“I do like that response. I’d be surprised if he didn’t pick up anything between us yet especially after uncle Dave’s party. Jack definitely did,” you said.
“What?” He asked in shock.
“Yeah, when Jack stopped by I told him I was going on a date and he asked if it was with you because he saw how flirtatious we were with each other. Nice job at keeping it lowkey,” you chuckled.
“I should be really saying that to you. From the minute you looked at me it was obvious,” he said.
“What can I say? I’m a simple woman. I see a good-looking guy playing with kids and I want to have his babies. Simple biology really,” you joked.
He sighed but broke into a small laugh at your remark. You loved how your silly remarks grew on him and he found them amusing as time went on. You hoped there were many more opportunities to amuse him in the future.
As you two reached the front of the ice cream truck, you felt like a kid again. Even though you knew what you wanted, the colourful menu caught your eye. If it were just you, you would have gotten the Spongebob popsicle but you didn’t want to get your hands overly sticky on your date. The only exception was if Spencer was the reason your hands were going to get sticky.
“May we get one vanilla soft serve cone and one chocolate soft serve cone, please?” Spencer said.
“Actually, make the vanilla cone a twist, please,” you said.
He looked at you confused as he handed a five-dollar bill to the guy inside the ice cream truck. You smiled as you shrugged your shoulders at him. You did love vanilla better than a twist but you just wanted to throw him off for fun and he knew it.
The guy handed you both your cones in no time. Spencer asked for a couple of napkins before you both thanked him and walked off to exit the park. You took a few licks of your cool ice cream, mainly on the vanilla side first. You looked at Spencer to see him stifling his snarky laugh as he watched you favour one side of your ice cream.
“Enjoying your ice cream?” He asked.
“Of course, I love twists,” you said as you started licking the other side.
“I can tell,” he chuckled.
“Are you enjoying your chocolate ice cream?” You asked.
“More than you are,” he said.
“Um, for your information I’m saving the best side for last,” you said.
“I think you should enjoy it before it’s all gone,” he said.
“How would it be gone so fast?” You asked.
He answered your question by tipping your cone up, smearing ice cream on your mouth and the tip of your nose. You gasped as you stopped in your tracks. You looked at him as he tried to tame his laughter as you glared deep into his soul.
You could tell he was starting to feel bad so he offered up some of the napkins he had gotten. You didn’t want it though. You wanted him. When he was close enough, you grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a strong, passionate kiss before pushing him away.
You grinned as you saw your ice cream imprint now on his face. He looked shocked at first but when he saw your smile, he couldn’t help reflecting it. You grabbed a napkin from his hand.
“Now we match,” you giggled.
He chuckled as he cleaned up his mouth and you did the same thing for yourself. When you were done cleaning your face, you stepped away from him in case he decided to do it again as you took a few more licks of your ice cream.
“I promise I won’t do it again,” he said.
“I know you won’t but I can’t promise the same,” you said.
He chuckled. “How about we call a truce?”
You narrowed your eyes. “How can I be so sure I can trust you?”
“Because I have a gift for you back at my place and I would hate for you not to trust me enough and missing out on it,” he said.
“Is it your dick down my throat?” You asked.
He gave you a look which told you it wasn’t that. You chuckled as you playfully rolled your eyes to let him know you were only poking light fun.
“I’ll bite. Can I get a hint as to what it is?” You asked.
“Not a chance. It’s a surprise but I know you’ll like it,” he said as he started walking again.
“Why’d you get me a gift?” You asked as you trailed behind him.
“It’s a gift I wanted to give you at Dave’s the other night but you left before I could give it to you,” he said.
“This sounds like the premise of Cinderella. Are you gifting me my glass slipper I left behind?” You asked.
“I don’t think Cinderella left under the same circumstances you did but to answer your question, it isn’t shoes. It’s something more intertwined with your world,” he hinted.
“That could be a lot of things. You’re going to have me guessing all the way to your apartment, aren’t you?” You asked.
“Of course. I like when you work for things,” he said.
“Well, expect a very annoying walk to your place,” you warned.
“I’ve been anticipating it,” he chuckled.
As you two entered his apartment building, the rain which had been predicted had started spilling from the sky. You were disappointed because you wanted to see the sunset on an overall beautiful day. You loved seeing the orange, red, and purple sky fading as the summer night rolled around.
You were glad about being dry in his apartment complex though so you couldn’t complain. You had little faith in the weather app ever since it said it was supposed to rain all week and it didn’t. You were tired of carrying your umbrella around and the one time you didn’t, it was pouring. You didn’t know if Spencer knew if it was supposed to rain or not but you were grateful for the shelter.
He led you towards the elevator and clicked the up button. You looked at him with the same curiosity at the park. He hadn’t ended up asking you the question you knew was on his mind. He was great at holding out on asking questions while you gave in every time. He noticed your stare and furrowed his eyebrows at you.
“Is everything okay?” He asked.
“I’m just waiting for you to ask,” you said.
“Ask what?” He questioned.
The elevator doors opened and you both stepped inside. He pressed the second-floor button. As you watched the elevator doors close, you decided you would just ask the question for him. It seemed as if he was worried to even bring it up to you but you had no ill feelings towards what he wanted to know.
“Do I forgive my dad for what happened to my mom,” you said.
He looked at you with silence but his eyes told you everything. You asked the question he wanted to know for him but his eyes were overcome with a look of sorrow for you. You sighed and looked away for a second before looking back at him with no sight of bitterness on your face.
“I do forgive him. It was hard but I love my dad and knew he never meant for it to happen,” you said.
“This job is painful, especially for those on the outside,” he said.
“I know but don’t start pushing me away because of it, bring me close to find comfort away from it,” you said.
He opened his mouth to respond to what you said but the elevator doors opened. You stepped out before he could respond to you. You knew he wasn’t going to protest what you said but you wanted to end the topic. You could already feel yourself becoming emotional over it and didn’t want to end your date with him in tears on his apartment floor.
He walked beside you to lead the way to his apartment door as if you hadn’t been there twice before. You could probably still recall where everything was in his apartment. As you two reached his door, he pulled out his keys from his jeans pocket. Before he put it in the keyhole, he looked at you.
“Would you ever change your last name back to Hotchner?” He asked.
You smirked. “Why would I do that when I can change it to Reid?”
He looked at you surprised. It didn’t seem as if that was even a possible response from you he expected to hear. He chuckled as soon as he snapped out of his shock and unlocked his door.
He gestured for you to walk inside first as the gentleman he was. It was weird to think but you felt right at home. The way you felt made it seem as if you had lived there before and experienced many feelings in this one space. To be fair, you had experienced many feelings and other things in this one space that made you feel exhilarated.
He locked the door behind himself and walked towards the couch. He gestured you to come over. You walked over to the couch as he fluffed up the pillows on it. You plopped your purse on the coffee table as you watched.
“Sorry, it’s a bit of a mess in here,” he said.
You looked around his space to try and find the mess. Other than the over-piling of books everywhere, it was pretty well-kept. You looked back over at him to see him walk away from the couch to go into his bedroom. In no time, he popped back out with a book in his hand.
He took a seat next to you and handed the book to you with great delight. You smiled at his enthusiasm as you took it from his hands. It was a collection of poems by T.S. Eliot from 1909-1962. It seemed worn from the way the spine bent and the multiple creases on the cover. Whoever owned this book loved reading it and re-reading it which made you happy.
“I wrote an essay about one of T.S. Eliot’s poems for my poetry class during my undergrad once,” you said.
“The Waste Land. You told me and you said it was the first time you fell in love with poetry but never really indulged in all his works. I went through my books after that and found I still had this book. I wanted to give it to you when you got accepted into your Master’s program to give you a light read whenever you feel overworked. Open it,” he said.
You opened it to reveal the first page. It revealed a handwritten note on the page. It was definitely in Spencer’s penmanship which made it feel even more precious to you.
Of lovers whose bodies smell of each other
Who think the same thoughts without need of speech
And babble the same speech without need of meaning. - T.S. Eliot
You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Your cheeks burned from how strained they were from it. You looked up at him and could finally feel the tears trying to make their debut. You quickly wiped your eyes to prevent them from stealing the show.
“Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me,” you whispered.
You wrapped your arms around his neck to bring him in for a long hug. He wrapped his hands around your back, gently rubbing it to comfort you. It wasn’t the best gift you’ve ever received in the world but knowing he wanted to give you a piece of him was more than anyone could ever offer you. You worked with books every day so you knew how much this book meant to him and was happy to give it to you to live a new life.
You leaned away from the hug but kept your hands wrapped around his neck. His face was only an inch away from yours and he couldn’t resist giving you a quick kiss on your lips. You smiled as you let your noses touch and stared deeply into his eyes.
“I’d like to smell of you now,” you said.
“I thought you wouldn’t want our date to end that way?” He asked.
“I would be stupid if I didn’t want that,” you said.
He smirked as he gently kissed you on your lips again. He moved his hands from around your back and caressed them onto your thighs. He trailed his kisses down to your neck as he positioned you to lay on the couch. You dropped the book on the floor to free your hands for what was to come
You arched your legs so he could comfortably place himself in-between your thighs. His lips found their way back to your lips and hit you with a powerful, desirable kiss. You ran your hands down his chest until you reached the bottom of his shirt. You tugged it up to try to get it off of him.
He didn’t let you struggle for long as he broke the kiss to help you. He leaned up to take it off. You watched him intently as he took it off and tossed it on the ground. You hadn’t seen him shirtless in a long time. You couldn’t restrain yourself from touching his bare chest.
He watched your hand run down his chest and torso and back up again. He smiled as his hands caressed down your thighs and under your dress. You felt him move your underwear to the side to get to what he really wanted. You gasped a moan and tilted your head back as you felt his thumb teasing your clit.
“Oh my God,” you moaned.
The sound of you saying that seemed as if it were his cue to increase his pace. He circled your clit faster and inserted two fingers inside of you. You heavily moaned as you retracted your hand from his chest. You started to pull down the straps of your dress and then pulled down the front of it to expose your breasts to him.
He leaned down to kiss you on your lips repeatedly as he continued to finger you at the perfect pace. He then leaned up from your mouth to look at you as you desperately moaned for his touch. He bit his lip as his eyes darted down to your breasts and then back up at you.
“Are they for me?” He asked.
“Of course. I’m all for you,” you moaned.
He kissed your lips one last time before moving away from your lips onto your jawline, down your neck until they met your breasts. He kissed each one with care and love before selecting a nipple to suck on. He used his free hand to caress the other one, grabbing it rough enough to give you the thrill you needed.
Your moans turned high-pitched and airy as his name continuously spewed from your lips. The feeling of his tongue flicking and occasionally nibbling on your nipple in your mouth as his other hand pinched your other nipple sent you to your happy place. Then his fingers found your happiest spot within you when they gently rubbed your g-spot.
“That’s it,” you shrieked.
He eased up from your breasts to watch you squirm under his touch. He smirked at you as he pulled his fingers out. You were going to complain and groan at him leaving you high and dry but you knew better of his character now. He aimed to please and wouldn’t want to leave you unsatisfied.
He wrapped his hand around your underwear and dragged it off. You lifted your legs to make it easier for him to take them off completely. He didn’t hesitate to move down and position his face in front of your folds.
Your breathing became intense and he didn’t do anything yet. You watched him as you waited in anticipation for him to do something. He looked up at you with a smirk on his face letting you know he knew what he was doing to you. He could be such a tease sometimes but you wouldn’t trade it for the world if it meant you had the best sex ever.
He didn’t take his eyes off of you as he leaned in and licked you from the bottom to the top of your clit. You wanted to tilt your head back and let out multiple needy moans but you were locked into his eyes. He wanted to see your face as he ate you out and you didn’t want to deny him of it.
You looked at him with a quivering lip as he continued running his tongue up and down in between you. Your legs started to shake and you couldn’t stabilize them no matter how hard you wanted to. He helped you out by grabbing your legs to keep them in place as he fully went into you.
You grabbed his hair with one of your hands and held him close to you as you felt his tongue do its magic. It circled your clit a few times before flicking it rapidly to send you over the edge. Every time you shrieked or tensed your legs he would up the number of times he would flick his tongue against your clit.
He flicked it so many times you started to arch your back to get him to do it more. Even though you ended up breaking eye contact with him, you could feel him staring at you with delight at the way he made you weak. He then moved his tongue’s attention away from your clit and moved it towards your hole.
You felt him stick his tongue in and out of you to tease of a possible end result for you. You needed him to finish you off and finish inside of you at the same time. You knew it would cost a little begging from you but you were willing to beg him for anything.
“Fuck me already, baby,” you whimpered.
You were ready to continue begging him. You wanted him so badly and you wanted him to know. He loved when you begged him until he had no choice but to give you what you wanted. Not this time around though.
He stopped teasing you with his tongue and made his way back up to your lips to kiss you, tongue and all. You grabbed onto his face to keep him against your lips for longer to savour the taste of you on his lips. He then backed an inch away from your lips to look at you with the softest eyes he’s ever given you in the heat of the moment.
“I’ll give you whatever you want,” he whispered.
“I want you and only you,” you whispered.
He gently smiled before giving you a light peck on your lips. He eased up to undo his belt and then his button and zipper. You watched him carefully as you calmly waited for him to wreck you as always. However, this time you believed he would do it with even more care than the last few times. The way he looked at you made you think part of him wanted to hold you close as he gently fucked you. Either way, you’d accept it.
As soon as he pulled down his pants and his underwear to his knees, you lifted your legs to lean back on your chest. You held them in place as he placed himself on top of you. You felt his dick gently hit your sensitive clit as he positioned himself on you. You let out a soft moan as you anticipated how he was going to fuck you. If you were moaning at the gentle touch of his dick hitting your clit, you doubted you were going to last much longer.
He leaned down and kissed you on your lips. You kissed him back with the same amount of strength and let go of your legs to wrap them around his neck. You soon felt his dick enter you and he wasted no time getting into a rhythmic pace. You parted from his lips to let out another high-pitched moan.
“Yes, yes, give it to me like this,” you shrieked.
“Like that? How about like this?” He said.
You then felt him pick up his stroking pace. You tilted your head back, leaving your neck exposed for him to leave little love bites down it. You dug your nails into his back as you could feel a tingling sensation run up your spine. You didn’t know you could come to an orgasm so quick but it was something about his touch that made you to reach your highest of highs.
He then roughly grabbed your face to force you back to his lips. He held your face the entire time you two kissed to avoid you separating from his lips again. You moaned through the kiss as he kept ramming his dick into you, quickening the pace with each stroke.
What sent you over the edge was when he used his free hand to circle your clit with his thumb. He parted from your lips to let you moan loud and free right in front of his face. Even though his eyes were still soft, there was still that glimmer of control in them.
“Beg for me to cum in you,” he said.
“Please, please, please cum in me,” you begged.
“You want my cum deep inside of you, don’t you?” He asked.
“I fucking do,” you moaned.
He pulled you in for a quick, intense kiss. “I’m going to give you what you fucking want.”
You then felt him increase the speed he was circling your clit. You let out constant amounts of airy moans as you scratched down his back. You could feel the tingle running around your body like electricity through you. You closed your eyes tight as you opened your mouth to let out a long, breathless moan as you felt yourself orgasm.
He brought you in for a kiss onto your lips again. You lazily kissed him back as you could still feel yourself pulsating because of your orgasm. He parted his lips from yours to let out a few moans of his own before getting quiet. You felt him cum in you before pulling out. He gently placed your head on the couch before pulling up your pants.
You were about to look up at him but he leaned over you to keep you down as he kissed you on your lips again. He lingered on them for a long while, taking his time in the moment. He eased up just a bit to look at you smiling at him.
You took your hand and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. You then caressed his face, feeling the rough feeling of his facial hair at your fingertips. He gave you a small smile as he watched you with utter admiration in his eyes.
“Guess this is my cue to go home huh?” You said.
“Not tonight,” he said.
You looked at him confused. “What?”
“I want you to stay, Y/N,” he said.
You still looked at him confused. You didn’t expect him to ever ask you to stay the night even if he had taken you on a date. It was never even a thought that crossed your mind today or ever really but you weren’t complaining. This was the next step you never knew you wanted so bad until he suggested it.
“Only on one condition,” you said.
“What’s that?” He asked.
“You make me pancakes in the morning,” you said.
He chuckled. “Deal.”
He then leaned down to solidify your agreement with a kiss. You grabbed his face to hold him close to you so he wouldn’t ease up anymore. Even though you two had the whole night to be close to each other, you wanted him close to you in the moment. If you could, you would seal the moment in your scrapbook but you guessed the gladiolus would work perfectly fine.
Hey, I love your writing and I was wondering if you can make a Spencer Reid x daughter! Reader where the reader was kidnapped and ends up dying and since then Spencer sees her ghost every night and talks to her, saying he loves her and that miss her. On one of those nights, the reader convinces him to let her go and Spencer extremely sad, lets her go, being able to say goodbye for real? Thank you
A/N: So this is angsty as fuck. I literally cried like three times writing it so beware. This is probably the saddest thing I’ve ever written
Warnings: Major angst (very sad Spencer), brief mentions of the reader dying
It wasn’t supposed to end like this. There had been hundreds of cases that just like this Spencer had studied and knew like the back of his hand. No case was ever the same though and no case was ever easy, especially when one of the team was involved.
If only he was able to help. That was the one thought that ran through his head as he cleared out the hospital room that belonged to you. It was just a mere day ago that the bed to Spencer’s left was where you took your last breath, holding his hand and saying I love you to him. Those words kept echoing in his head and he wished he could hear you say it to him again.
No one would be in this position if he was allowed to help on the case and everyone knew that. He was the one person who could’ve figured out the hidden message in the letter that the team had thought they solved. It was a trick and because the team was fooled, both you and him paid the price with your life.
The team had managed to rescue you but your injuries were too intense for your body to handle. After suffering for three days, Spencer had to let you leave. The team gave him the space he needed, knowing this loss was much worse than all the previous ones.
As Spencer walked down the hallway, carrying the bag with your things and his hands full of the get-well-soon balloons and the stuffed animals from Penelope, he couldn’t help but notice the stares coming from the hospital staff. They all knew your story. Daughter of an FBI agent kidnapped and then rescued, only to die days later. They all sympathized with him but they would never really know what it was like to lose their child, their one and only love.
Once Spencer got back to the apartment, he went to your room and placed the things from the hospital there and left the room and closed the door behind him. He’d go back in there when he was ready. He walked into the kitchen, only to be reminded of you again. The dishes he had told you to put away were still sitting on the counter, in neat piles waiting to be put in the cupboard. He turned away and looked into the living room. He spotted a small stack of books sitting on the end table near the couch. Each one had a different color index card sticking out of it. He couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. He couldn’t keep track of how many times he offered to buy you a whole bunch of bookmarks and you refused. You always said you liked how simple they were and how you could keep notes about the book right on the bookmark.
Spencer picked up the top one and flipped to where the neon green card marked your spot. He picked the card up and read through your notes, written in your ridiculously messy handwriting. The very last one you had written was the one that caught his attention.
Give to dad. He would love this book
The bookmark dropped out of his hands along with the book as Spencer fell to his knees and curled onto his side like a baby. He had kept his composure the whole time from when you were first in the hospital till now, only letting tears fall down his cheeks when you passed. He closed his eyes and sobbed, praying and wishing he could just hold you for five more minutes. He needed more time to tell you everything he wanted but both of you knew that there would never be enough time in the world for Spencer to say everything he wanted to you.
You were the one thing in his life that gave him purpose. He only stayed with the BAU for long because you encouraged him to and he learned more and more everyday so he could keep up with you. You were such an avid learner like him and you challenged him to learn more and more. Everything he had done since the day you were born was because of you.
Spencer didn’t remember falling asleep but he heard the sounds of footsteps walking across the floor and the sound of a chair being moved across the ground.
Spencer’s head snapped up from the ground and he was met with your eyes. You were looking at him confused and for a second, he wondered if everything that happened over the past few days was just a vivid dream. He got up from the ground and walked over to you, crouching in front of you and taking your hands in his, “Y/n?”
“It’s me,” you said.
“I”m still me,” you said, cutting him off, “Pretty weird right? You always used to tell me ghosts don't exist but here we are,” you joked.
Spencer shook his head and pulled you into a tight hug, nearly squeezing the air out of your lungs. He spent minutes just holding you like that, not knowing if you would disappear if he let you go.
“I’ll stay as long as you need me to dad,” you said, slowly pulling away from him, “I promise I won’t leave until you’re ready.”
He smiled softly at you, “I love you Y/n. I love you so so much.”
“I love you too dad.”
For the next few days, as soon as Spencer fell asleep, he would feel your presence in the small apartment. Most of the time, you would walk into his bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed. Sometimes he’d beat you to it and he’d be sitting on the couch. Those were the nights that it was harder for him to sleep.
Tonight, he heard his bedroom door open and you slipped in, and sat on the edge of the bed, shaking him awake, “Dad? Dad!”
“I’m here,” he said, sitting up and looking at you. His face turned to concern when he saw the expression on your face. Your eyes were full of sorrow and you were biting your lip, a sign he knew there was something serious going on, “What is it?”
You took a deep and shaky breath before explaining, “You need to let me go,” you said, wanting to rip the band-aid off quickly.
Spencer panicked, throwing the blankets off of him and standing up from the bed, “Y/n I can’t,” he said, “I’m your dad. I can’t just, give you up again.”
“Yes you can,” you said, standing up from the bed and walking over to him, “You did it before.”
Spencer met your eyes and saw they were filled with tears, causing tears to pool in his own, “I can’t baby. I’m not ready. I wasn’t ready the first time and I didn’t have a choice then. I have one now and I’m not ready.”
“You are,” you argued back. You walked over to him and hugged him, wrapping your arms around his torso, “I know you are.”
Spencer leaned down and buried his face in your hair, trying to hide the sounds of him crying, “I-I can’t.”
You nodded, “Yes you can. Do you believe me?”
Spencer nodded and pulled away from you, cupping your face in his hands, looking right at you, “What about you? I can’t leave you all alone.”
“I’m not alone dad. I’ve already met so many people we’ve always wanted to. I’ve told them all about you and when it’s your turn, you’ll be there with me.”
Spencer shook his head, “No,” he wiped some of the tears that fell down your cheeks with his thumbs, “I-I-”
“Dad. You can do it,” you said softly, “I know you can.”
Finally, after minutes of taking your face in for the last time, the face that looked so much like him, he nodded his head. He pulled you in for one last hug and peppered your face with kisses, making you giggle slightly, a sound he would keep stored in his memory forever, “I love you Y/n. Don’t forget me. I’ll be with you soon.”
“I love you too dad. Take your time though. You have so much more to offer the world. Don’t forget me either.”
“How can I?” he asked, “You were the best daughter anyone could have asked for.”
You smiled softly, “And you were the best dad ever. I love you.”
“I love you more baby,” he let you go and watched as you walked out of his room. He followed you as you made your way to the front door and opened it and stepped into the hallway. You looked at him one more time and smiled before letting the door close shut behind you.
Dancing with the Devil, The Art of Starting Over: Chapter One
pairing: spencer reid and fem!reader
summary: songwriter!reader has songs that are written throughout her relationship with spencer, the good, and the bad
warnings: alcohol, alcoholism, death
author’s note: the first chapter to dancing with the devil, the art of starting over! it’s short, but it’s going to pick up in the next chapters!
songs: dancing with the devil, the art of starting over
Spencer had the thought of the singer at the bar for the past eighteen days, three hours, and forty-five seconds. Spencer had meant to go to the bar, but he’d forget after a case; he’d saunter to his apartment, vulnerable, and read to elude the nightmares that haunted him.
“Garcia,” Spencer said, as he ambled to her bat cave, “do you, uh, do you want to go to the bar tonight?” he asked, and she raised an eyebrow.
“What’s the love for the bar, Pretty Boy?” Penelope asked, and Spencer’s cheeks flushed in a rose blush. “I, uh, I don’t know what you mean,” he said, and she laughed.
“Oh, Reid, you fancy the singer at the bar,” she said, and the blush deepened. “I don’t, no!” he fought, and Penelope kissed his cheek.
“Okay, Pretty Boy, the bar, tonight,” she said, and summoned him to the debrief.
Spencer waltzed to the bar with a bedazzled Penelope, and he’d be untruthful if he said to her that he’s “okay,” because the thought of the singer had him fiddling with his hands.
Spencer heard her singing voice the moment he sat at the bar; the song, Dancing with the Devil, is what she sang.
“It's just a little red wine, I'll be fine,
not like I want to do this every night,
I’ve been good, don’t I deserve it?
I think I earned it, feels like it’s worth it,
in my mind, my mind,
twisted reality, hopeless insanity,
I told you I was okay, but I was lying,
I was dancing with the devil,
out of control,
almost made it to heaven,
it was closer than you know,
playing with the enemy,
gambling with my soul,
it's so hard to say no,
when you're dancing with the devil,
it’s just a little white line, I'll be fine,
but soon that little white line is a little glass pipe,
tin foil remedy almost got the best of me,
I keep praying I don't reach the end of my life,
twisted reality, hopeless insanity,
I told you I was okay, but I was lying,
I was dancing with the devil,
out of control,
almost made it to heaven,
it was closer than you know,
playing with the enemy,
gambling with my soul,
it's so hard to say no,
when you're dancing with the devil,
I thought I knew my limit,
I thought that I could quit it,
I thought that I could walk away easily,
but here I am, falling down on my knees,
praying for better days to come and wash this pain away,
could you please forgive me?
Lord, I'm sorry for dancing with the devil,
I was dancing with the devil,
out of control,
almost made it to heaven,
it was closer than you know,
playing with the enemy,
gambling with my soul,
it's so hard to say no,
when you're dancing with the devil,”
The song, Dancing with the Devil, changed to a song that Spencer hadn’t heard, but as he listened, he thought of the song’s metaphor.
“I'm like a watch, I'm unwinding like a clock,
it’s okay if I don’t know what the time is,
I just woke up from drinking, had half of a cup,
the universe is trying to remind me,
give me a pen, I need writing, another ending,
it didn’t turn out the way I wanted,
I had the armor, I wore it much in the summer,
but the arrow hit me right where the heart is,”
There’d be a night, where he’s drunk after a case, the drowned sorrows fell from his lash line. Spencer’s hands tangled in his hair, as he presented withdrawal from dilaudid with the alcohol, but he lay in bed, and slept til he’s summoned to a case.
“I'm mastering the art of,
new beginnings can be lonely,
thank God I got me to hold me,
starting over, over,”
Spencer resonated with the art of starting over, he had started over after that night in the graveyard with Tobias Hankel, and though he’d had to start over with Emily’s death, he stayed strong, and thousands after.
“He was the cure, I was ready to be sure,
so I let him deeper under the surface,
but it didn’t take long to realize,
that the woman in me does not cry,
for a man who is a boy, and he does not deserve this,”
Spencer had thought he’d had a cure, Maeve; he thought that she’d cured him, healed him, but she hadn’t, she’d caused pain with her death, and haunted him. He loved Maeve, but he didn’t love her as much as he had loved Ethan.
“I'm mastering the art of,
new beginnings can be lonely,
thank God I got me to hold me,
starting over, over,”
She ended the song, and the restaurant applauded; she caught Spencer’s eye as he whistled, and she gestured to the bar. “Dr. Spencer Reid,” she said, a flirtatious smile graced her face.
“I loved the song,” Spencer said, and a blush tinted her cheeks, “thank you,” she whispered, and asked the bartender for a Shirley Temple.
“I wrote Dancing with the Devil after my ex-boyfriend died,” she said, “he was an abusive, manipulative ass; but he didn’t deserve to die,” she whispered, “and I wrote The Art of Starting Over months after my ex’s death.”
Spencer placed an empathetic hand on hers, “I’m sorry,” he whispered, and she gave him a sad, but hopeful smile, “thank you, Spencer.”
“Spence,” Spencer turned to Penelope, who placed her wine glass on the bar, “there’s a case,” she said, with a pout.
“I’m sorry,” Spencer said to the singer, and she raised an eyebrow, “a cop?” she asked, and Spencer laughed, and shook his head, “no, no, I’m, uh, a profiler,” he said, “FBI.”
“Dr. Spencer Reid, do you want my phone number, for when you’re back from the case?” she asked. “I, uh, I prefer email, I’m a technophobe,” he said, and she laughed, and wrote her email on the napkin.
“Okay, don’t forget the art of starting over, Spencer Reid.”
i'm currently babysitting and i've been thinking about baby sitting with spence 😭 especially if you guys were lovers but no one knew bc if jj (or hotch) came home later that night and sees you and spencer cuddled up on the couch, they'd definitely question you 😭✋🏻
"are you coming with me to babysit jack tonight? i forgot aaron had asked me to babysit tonight for him and haley” you packed your purse and zipped it close, spencer standing up.
“sure, why not?” he smiled and grabbed his book, giving you a kiss before you two headed out of your apartment and down to the car.
you two arrived to the hotchner household as they were both trying to change their 8 month old. “hi, hello. sorry, he just had to be changed and..”
“don’t worry about it! i can wait” you reassure and they both thank you, getting jack situated before bringing him over to you.
“spencer. what’re you doing here?” you halted as you realized nobody knew you two were a thing. “not that we mind”
“spencer was over watching star trek with me and he wanted to try babysitting” you lied straight through your teeth, spencer nodding along. haley bought it, aaron didn’t. he was a profiler for a living, he saw your lip twitch softly.
haley and aaron explained jack’s routine, and you were really glad spencer was here so he could remember everything they just said.
the both of them left and you bounced jack, a little smile on his face and spencer walked next to you, putting his hand on your lower back and jack gripped his finger as spencer tickled his stomach. "you are just so cute, hello" spencer cooed and you lay your head on his shoulder.
"spencer, have you ever changed a diaper before?" jack laid on the changing table and spencer shook his head, and you two swapped places. "well, today you're going to learn. just in case you ever have children!"
"oh jeez, okay. diaper, wipes, okay" spencer did what you instructed him to do, and nearly put the diaper on backwards but he did it all correctly, jack giggling and clapping.
"yay! uncle spencer did it!" spencer chuckled and picked jack up, looking at you and kissing you softly. "good job, babe" you smile and kiss him again, the 3 of you heading into the living room.
jack started to fuss and spencer got a little flustered, so you took jack and headed to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle, putting in the formula and shaking it up. you sat down next to spencer and fed jack, but he as still fussing after he finished his bottle.
you brought jack to his nursery, rocking him to sleep and humming him softly with his mobile twinkling a song as well. you set him down and rubbed his belly slowly as he fell asleep.
you stood up and jumped as you saw spencer in the doorway. "my god, babe, you scared me!" you smile and so did spencer, who wrapped his arm around your back and kissed your head. "you wanna go watch a movie?"
you two picked a random movie, and from hours of taking care of a baby, you two were tired. you had fallen asleep on spencer's shoulder, legs over his lap and his arms tight around you with his head on top of yours.
aaron and haley walked into the house, the both of them smiling as they saw you and spencer. "aw, honey, look" haley whispered and aaron nodded.
"yeah, you didn't know they were dating? come on" aaron whispered back and spencer stirred, opening his eyes and rolling his lips between his teeth. "it's alright, spencer. thank you two, so much for watching jack. we'll talk more tomorrow"
"thanks, hotch" aaron and haley went upstairs and spencer woke up you up, and you two headed to the car.
"wait. was he mad? i don't want to get fired" your stomach churned and spencer chuckled, holding your face and kissing you softly.
"he's okay with it, baby. come on, let's get home and sleep" you look at him and nod, kissing him again and heading into the car. you held his hand on the way home, spencer's thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. you kissed the back of his hand, happy to be with spencer.
a/n: this is based on this concept of pervy professor spencer, who has been lusting after a student. cw: unprotected sex (wrap it!), cream pie, fingering, brief oral (fem receiving), hair pulling, no dom/sub relationship. i mean spencer is kinda a sub no matter what tho. lmk if i missed anything!
He’s aware that what he’s doing isn’t right, or ethical. It doesn’t stop him, though.
He shouldn’t be looking at a student the way that he does. Much less be thinking about her in such sinful contexts; when he’s alone at night with his own hands around his cock, picturing her laying under him. Or maybe she’s sitting in his lap, bouncing on his dick while her skirt flounces around her waist. Sometimes she’s on her knees in front of him, using her mouth to get him off in his own office. And sometimes just the thought of tasting her, having her fall apart on his tongue while his fingers are deep inside her, is enough to do the job.
There are about a thousand and one ways he shouldn’t be thinking about her, and unfortunately, he’s thought about them all.
He’s completely guilty.
Of making her come up to the chalkboard in the front of the class, under the guise of demonstrating how to solve some equation, just so he can see her bare legs carry her across the room, his eyes following where her short skirts barely covered her.
Of lingering at her seat when he comes over to answer her questions, resting his arm on the table and leaning in close enough to smell her, peeking down her blouse when she’s unaware he’s looking.
Of keeping his eyes on her the entire duration of his lectures, unashamed to get caught staring. Feeling smug with the way she shrinks a little when she gets flustered under his gaze, prideful that his affection was noticed.
His shame doesn’t live only in his mind –– he’s done more than enough to know she may never look him in the eye if she found out.
There was one time that she forgot her sweater behind in the lecture hall. Spencer took it home with him, telling himself it was just so he could keep it safe and bring it back to her during the next class. He knew it was one of her favorites, after all, for how frequently he watched her wear it.
But that sweater never got returned.
His mistake was bringing it inside, whereas he really should’ve just left it in his car. He flung it over the back of his couch, dropping it there so he’d remember to pick it up again in the morning on his way out. But when he sat down, with the fucking sweater dangling next to his face, he could smell her sweet perfume lingering on it. And it was so incredibly soft, just like he imagined her skin to be.
It wasn’t exactly a proud moment, but he buried his cheek against the sweater as he put a hand down his slacks, letting the sweater add a new layer to his fantasies. They just felt even more real with the fabric rubbing against his face, allowing him to picture her –– her touch, her smell –– so vividly.
And now he’s had it for so long that it almost feels weird to give it back. So he doesn’t, and he doesn’t feel bad about it. After all, if the closest he could ever get to her was by stealing a piece of fucking fabric, he deserved to have it. It was the least he should have if he couldn’t have her.
Sometimes he deludes himself into thinking she wants him too. When she comes to office hours after class, wanting to discuss her assignments despite being his top student. Acting as if she needs the help. Or in the way she looks up at him from her chair as she asks questions in class, making eyes that look like she’s just begging to be fucked. Wearing cherry colored lip gloss that calls to him like a signal.
But maybe he’s just a big joke to her. Maybe she tells all her friends about the weird professor that leaves flirty little comments on the corners of her papers. How he always says good morning to her, but not to any of the other students. They probably laugh about it in private, making comments about how her professor probably wants to sleep with her. Why else would they be alone in his office so often?
They’d be right. And he’d be grateful if they said that, to be honest, because at this point he’s desperate for her to finally realize it. His infatuation with her is growing quickly out of control and soon it might kill him.
It feels like her hemlines keep getting shorter, her sweaters tighter. At one point he discovered that she stopped wearing bras under her tops because he can see her nipples right through the fabric when they get hard. It leaves him wondering what else she might not be wearing.
And he knows it’s probably a figment of his imagination, but he wants to believe that she does it for him.
The idea that she knew his secrets added a twisted little element to it. Like she dresses this slutty on purpose because she knows what it does to him. Because he figures that even if she doesn’t want him, she wants to play this silent game just to see what he’ll do next.
The only thing is that there’s nothing more he can do without losing the last ounce of dignity he has. He’s already getting himself off on thoughts of her when he’s at home, and now he’s doing it in his office, right after she leaves. Barely able to wait until she walks out the door.
In an ideal world, she’d catch him in the act. Realize she forgot her pen or that she had one more question to ask and walk back in at just the right moment, while he’s hard and moaning out her name.
Either she’d look at him in disgust or in some weird way she’d find it flattering, and he doesn’t even care at this point because he just wants her to know.
That was the problem, that she honestly didn’t know.
She had no idea the effect she had on him, never expecting that such a shy girl as herself could grasp the attention of the university’s most attractive professor. Everything she did, everything she wore was borne from innocent intentions, and Spencer was the one turning them into perverse fantasies.
He knows he’s not the type of man to corrupt someone; he wouldn’t say he’s looking to break her or to destroy her gentle innocence in any way. It might be another thing he cherishes about her –– her unassuming, shy exterior that reminded him so much of himself. But, fuck, did she make it easy to think that way when everything she did just felt so sexual to him.
How could it not, when she bites down so gently on the cap of her pen between two perfectly parted lips? When he can see her tongue flickering behind it, pressing against the cap as she loses herself in thought. She could be doing anything and Spencer would find a way to fuel his sinful imagination with it.
He prepared himself for the possibility that their tension would never come to a breaking point. She’d finish the semester, move on to graduate, and forget all about him when he knew he’d never be able to forget about her. For all that the world’s given Spencer, he’d come to accept that to be his fate. To be forgotten about, to go unnoticed in his affections.
However, even fate has its surprises.
He always sat on top of his desk right next to her seat, rather than in his own chair, just so he’d be able to occasionally graze his thigh against her shoulder as they spoke. And so he could visualize her head so, so close to his lap — an image saved for later use.
But for the first time, she seemed to be the one initiating the stolen touches.
The hand that clutched her essay now rested so carefully on his knee, in a closed fist but nonetheless on top of him, as she read it aloud. Voice as sweet as ever. She didn’t even notice she was doing it. It was the passive kind of contact that people who are comfortable with each other have. He took that as a good sign.
And when she looked up from the page, she looked right into his eyes as she adjusted her hand a little higher on his leg than it was before. He’s convinced he saw her tongue dart out, sweeping over her bottom lip. It’s a small act but intentional.
He didn’t want to be too presumptuous, so he tested the waters first. Subtly shuffling his leg so that his thigh slides down on her further, legs falling open just a little as he bites his lip.
The first thing a former profiler understands about body language is that mirroring someone’s movements can reveal subconscious trust, desire to build personal connection, and most importantly, romantic interest.
So when she bit down on her own lip, Spencer had all the answers he needed.
His eyes narrowed on her, feeling like he’s finally made a breakthrough. “Why did you come to office hours when your essay is already perfect?”
She didn’t expect that question. She comes to his office hours all the time. Never because she needs the help, but that’s never been a concern to him before. Before her stammering could form an excuse, he covered her hand with his own to let her know he’s noticed her placement on him.
She swallowed the air in her dry throat, averting his eyes when she whispers, “For the same reason you kept my sweater?”
And he didn’t expect that answer. He took that sweater a month ago — how, for weeks, had she known about that?
“I saw you walking to your car with it. I went back to find it, and… I saw.” Her voice was small, so afraid to be wrong about him.
She was right, and now she knew. More importantly, it didn’t seem to scare her, not even when he intertwined their fingers together as she rose to stand in front of him. Spencer exhaled deeply, feeling relief wash over his whole body as she willingly came closer to him.
Neither of them had anything to say; there are no words to use when you know what’s coming, when you can instead let your actions speak for you.
Spencer scooted closer to the edge of his desk, narrowing the gap between them. His knee slot between her legs as he beckoned her closer by her hips, guiding her above his thigh. He wanted her to take the first initiative, leaning back on his arms to admire her figure over him as he let her figure out where she wanted to go from there.
She watched his face for approval as she let her hips shift down until she was straddling his thigh. With a hand on each of his shoulders, she braced herself as she slowly pressed against him, using her soft thigh to place pressure against his dick.
She bit her lip, cowering under his eyes that wanted to memorize her face, the way she looks and feels when she’s with him like this. The exchange is a silent challenge of who will break first.
It’s Spencer. Of course it’s Spencer, who breaks the stillness of the moment with rushed, desperate actions. He waited too long to not fall apart as soon as he got to have her.
He surged forward to connect his lips to her neck, sucking the skin harshly like a man deprived. Her fingers came to knot in his hair, twisting and tugging the strands as his hot mouth trailed across the expanse of her bare neck. One hand came down to her ass, holding her as she rode his thigh. He used it to force her hips to grind on him as he pushed his thigh firmly against her, soft whimpers escaping her lips as he put pressure on her core. He groaned, feeling her panties dampen through his trousers.
The other hand worked its way to the back of her scalp, tangling the hair in his fingers and giving it a sharp pull to make her cry out.
“Ah! Doctor Reid!” Fucking finally. At last he got to hear her say his name in that foul, desperate way he always fantasized about.
“Say it again, sweetheart?” he asked, moaning into her neck as he slid his hands under her skirt, hooking his fingers into the sides of her thong and tugging roughly, letting the fabric create harsh friction against her clit.
Her sharp cry turned into a rolling moan as he pulled her underwear again, more carefully this time, twisting it against her clit in slow, aching circles. Her lips brushed against the shell of his ear as she repeated his name lowly before they wrapped around his lobe, using her teeth to tug gently.
He groaned and released the fabric, letting it snap sharply against her skin.“Take these off.”
Telling her to do it was pointless because he was already ripping them down her legs himself. He let them drop to the floor once they made it past her knees and she kicked them away as she stepped out of them. He made quick work of the buttons on her sweater, placing wet kisses on each new inch of skin he exposed. Across her collarbones, in the dip between them where they met her throat, down her sternum and over the top of her breasts.
At the same time, she reached around for the zipper on the back of the skirt in a rush to take everything off for him. It only earned her a light slap to the side of her thigh. Not enough to really hurt. Not even to sting. It was just his way to command attention back to him.
“Keep it on.”
She nodded, “Okay,” and pushed him further back on top of his desk, practically jumping into his lap and hooking her legs onto either side of his to straddle him. Bruising knees against the wood be damned.
The moment she was in his lap, looking down at him with these eyes that held a warmth beyond simple lust, he paused. Everything slowed down. If Spencer never got to have this twice, then he was prepared to make the first time mean everything with the woman he’d desired for so long. Gone was the desperation as he finally brought their lips together, allowing their first kiss to be tender as their mouths glided together. It was sweet, savoring the taste and feeling of each other’s lips.
His lips wrapped perfectly around her bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth before giving the same treatment to the other. She placed two hands on either side of his face to hold him to her as she rolled her hips against his at a painfully slow pace. Without her panties between them, Spencer could feel her wetness seeping into the fabric over his crotch. As her mouth opened to let him in, his hands traveled up her sides until they stopped at her chest. She moaned into the kiss as his hands kneaded the soft flesh, gently tugging on his swollen bottom lip to pull his own sounds free.
His hands travelled under the skirt again, lifting up the hem to get a full view of her bare under it. He ran two fingers through her slit, coming back up covered in her arousal. He greedily popped them into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks around them as he licked them clean. The digits disappeared into his mouth and slowly retracted back, sliding in and out of his plush, pouty lips so temptingly.
She leaned down and captured his lips again, gently sucking on his tongue with a soft moan as she tasted herself on it. She wrapped one hand around his, bringing it to her mouth and pressing a long kiss to the tips of his two middle fingers, begging for him to use them on her again.
To punctuate her want, she guided his hand down her body, lifting her hips a little to give him access to slide between her legs. He ran his fingers through her folds again, groaning before stopping to pay attention to the bundle of nerves at her crest. A series of soft sighs came out of her as he rubbed in slow circles, alternating directions before switching to side-to-side motions.
She rested her forehead against his, her shallow breath fanning across Spencer’s face as he continued, taking in as much of the view as he could. His fingers moved away to dip over her entrance, teasing with just one fingertip pressed inside. She whined and squirmed against him, pushing her hips closer to his hand with soft begs, “Please.”
Slowly, he pushed his middle finger inside with a groan, “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight,” his lips attached themselves to her throat, trailing hot kisses down the column of her neck and onto her chest, mumbling against the skin, “and wet.” When he reached her sternum he could feel her heart beating rapidly. And he stopped to circle around it with loving kisses.
Both her arms wrapped around his shoulders, cradling his head nearer to his body, encouraging him to continue worshipping her with his mouth. “That feels so good,” she gasped as his finger curled upward deep inside of her. He added extra pressure against her anterior wall as he dragged it out, then pumped it slowly in again.
She took fistfuls of his hair and twisted them as he fucked his finger into her repeatedly, tugging harder when she wanted him to add a second one, unable to form words beyond a desperate “More.” He slipped his ring finger in too, repeating the same motions as she adjusted to the stretch.
His spare hand held her by the waist as she started shaking around him, thighs fighting the urge to clamp shut with his hand in between. As he curled his fingers again, pushing them in so deeply, she moaned loudly in his ear with hot, wet breath that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.
She breathed out incoherent words to tell him she’s so, so close, and he brought his thumb up to her clit, applying pressure to bring her over the edge. He covered her mouth with his own, swallowing her moans as she clenched tight around him, so nearly there. He thrusted his fingers faster, repeatedly coaxing that spot inside that made her stomach flutter. Her grip tightened on his strands as she hit her high, drawing his moans into her mouth as she did the same into his.
Her breath came short and uneven as she recovered, slumping her tired body against his chest while he held her. His free hand came up to brush her sweat-dampened hair away from her face. He gave her a moment before withdrawing his fingers and bringing them to his tongue to clean them. Instead, he was stopped by her catching his wrist, dragging it towards herself instead. He looked up at her, jaw slacked in awe as she flattened her tongue on the underside of his long digits, running up their length before wrapping her hot, wet mouth around them.
She held his eye contact as she bobbed her head down, swirling her tongue around him as his fingertips hit the back of her throat. Her cheeks hollowed and lips glistened with her own arousal as she let go of his wrist and allowed him to push them on his own volition. As he watches his fingers disappear behind her lips, taking them so well, it just leaves him wondering how talented she’d be sucking other things, as well. His dick twitches against his zipper at the thought of it.
She must be able to read his mind, because she immediately went for the button on his trousers, resting the heel of her palm over his hard dick as she worked the fly open. His hips bucked into her touch and he moved to grip the underside of her thighs, lifting her carefully as he stood up.
He switched their places and set her back on the desk, guiding her with a hand on her back to lay down along the length of it, knees dangling over the edge. He quickly knelt on the floor and pulled her ass closer to the edge as he licked a broad stripe across her cunt. She whimpered as he began using his mouth to carefully clean her up, running his tongue along her folds to gather all of her release. With a sly smile to himself, his tongue formed a dart and flicked harshly over her clit just to tease. He adored her dearly, but he couldn’t resist hearing her soft sob at the overstimulation. He chuckled and soothed it with a sweet kiss before rising to stand over her.
She leaned back on her elbows to watch him as his eyes scanned over her body, pupils blown wide. She quickly scrambled up to work the buttons on his shirt, yanking his tie off in the process. If she was already naked, it’s only fair she should get to look at him too.
She pulled off his boxers last, dropping them to the floor so he’s finally exposed to her. A small, Fuck, escaped as she takes him in, sight fixed on his pretty cock. Of course the most attractive professor would also have a pretty dick.
She left a sloppy kiss on the center of his chest, nibbling on the skin with her teeth until a purple mark forms. It’s almost poetic, he thought, that she should mark his heart like that. A physical manifestation of what’s already been done.
She continued sucking little bruises into his skin, working across the bare canvas of his chest as she wrapped her hand around his cock, spreading the precome leaking from his tip over his shaft to slick him up as she pumps up and down.
When he couldn't wait any longer, he put his hips flush to hers, grinding his dick against the outside of her pussy. His eyes rolled back at even the slightest friction she provided. She leaned back again to give him a better angle to enter her. He braced himself with a palm against the table as he lined himself up and began to push in.
“You feel so good,” he gasped as he felt her warm and wet around his dick. He lifted the hem of her skirt, pooling it over her belly so he can get a better view of where their bodies met as he thrust into her. He leaned down to give her a quick peck, only managing to use half his words, “so pretty.”
She whimpered as he stretched her out, pushing incrementally to let her adjust before he finally fit fully inside her. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips as he concentrated on her face, watching for signs of pleasure to encourage him. Her eyes screwed shut and brows were knitted as she focused on the way he felt, her jaw twitching as she let out silent moans.
When she nodded, he began to move. Not before bending down to place a kiss on her flushed cheek, right below the contours of her eye. She hadn’t noticed the tear forming there. As he worked up a rhythm, his thumb fell back to her clit, tracing small patterns into the bundle of nerves. He drew out a few gasps before easing off the pressure for a few seconds, and repeated. Each time she caught her breath, he brought his thumb back, working out more pants and moans from her before removing the friction altogether, and starting again.
She felt the knot in her stomach grow too quickly with his ministrations, only to have it paralyzed each time he pulls away. He only gave her reprieve when she braced her hand around the forearm that he uses to support himself on the desk, digging her nails gently into his skin to beg for release as tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. “Please.”
He repositioned to wrap both arms around her hips and pull them up higher, lifting them slightly off the desk as he started to move faster. From this angle he got deeper, brushing against her spot with the head of his dick nearly each time he thrust in. Her thighs wrapped around his waist and drew him nearer, gasping breathlessly at the speed and force of his motions.
With her legs hooked around his sides to support herself, Spencer let go of her hips and bent down on the table, pressed flush against her body as he continued his relentless pace. His hazy brown eyes fluttered shut as he let his touch guide him across her body, starting at her chest and dotting sloppy kisses between the valley before slowly making way to one side, dragging his bottom lip across her skin until it found the bud. He wrapped his mouth around it, swirling over with his tongue and teasing it between his teeth as his large, rough hand paid attention to the neglected one, pinching and rolling her nipple between the pads of his fingers.
His free hand came to replace his mouth and continued the teasing as he was trailing his path upward, stopping to bury his head into the junction of her neck and shoulder. He nipped at the soft flesh, laving his tongue over each mark he chose to form. He could feel her throat reverberate under his lips as his name rolled off her tongue like a prayer, over and over as he gave himself to her.
Just as he bit down harder, her hips canted forward, and he stroked in just the right spot inside her. Both her hands flew to his shoulders, nails digging into the muscle as she cried out, head thrown back.
He dove down to capture her mouth as his hips buck forward on their own volition, determined to have her whine like that again as her release builds inside her. In mere seconds, she had to break it off to let her moans fall freely as the knot broke. His hands flew down to her thighs, gripping them with bruising force as he tried to keep her as close to him as possible as she trembled and tightened around him. He watched himself thrust against where their bodies meet, right under that little skirt still pushed up to her waist, to bring himself closer to the edge. Not long after, he followed, hips staggering as he continued to fuck her through his own orgasm.
His fingers relaxed around her thighs and he pressed their foreheads together as he came down, unwilling to move away. At the same time, she wrapped her arms around him with similar intention. She opened her eyes, only to be met with large, adoring eyes already watching her. He was taking in everything so carefully, as if he’d miss it all if he blinked, and she would disappear if he looked away.
Spencer studded kisses along her jawline, praising her for letting his fantasies finally come true. The two stayed like that for a while, basking in the glow of each other and the culmination of Spencer’s desire.
When he finally pulled away, he immediately rifled through his drawers for a tissue to run carefully over her body as he broke the seal around her. When he was happy with his work, he tucked himself back into his clothes and let her sit up on the edge of the desk as he began helping her find her own.
He found her sweater on the back of his chair and brushed it carefully before pulling it over both her shoulders, tugging to make sure it was on straight. She watched as he worked each of the buttons, his bottom lip between his teeth as he concentrated on putting her back together with utmost care.
His eyes scanned the floor for her panties, finding them flung over his satchel on the ground next to his desk. He picked them up quickly, admiring them for a brief moment before kneeling in front of her. He held them out, signaling her to lace her legs through them, and she shook her head.
“Keep those,” she smiled, mirroring his request that she keep her skirt on. His brows shot up, checking if she was being really serious about it. She leaned forward to cup his cheek, bringing his face to her own as she spoke through another long kiss, “Just give me back my favorite sweater.”
He chuckled as she took the pair from his fingers and tucked them into his shirt pocket, patting them twice over his chest.
“You can pick it up from my place?” He offered, hoping she’d understand his ulterior motives and take him up on it. She laughed and laced her hand into the back of his scalp, scratching gentle patterns as he melted into her. Even without his proposition, she knew she would end up back with him just like this.
“It’s a date.”
okay i'd love to hear feedback on this! if you liked it lmk, or if you have constructive comments im open to it and would appreciate it <3
summary: reader and spencer decided to watch a scary movie for halloween.
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
warnings/includes: food, mutual pining
word count: 1.5K
authors note: hello! this is a little blurb bc i wanted to write something on s3/s4 spence and its super fluffy
“No. No way, Spencer.”
“Oh, come on! Dont be a wuss, Y/N”
“I am not a wuss! You are just crazy thinking I would sit down and watch ‘Babysitter Wanted’ I value my life greatly”
“Now you are just embarrassing yourself. Here, listen to this ‘A new life is starting for Angie, who is leaving the embrace of her mother to study at university. She applies for a baby-sitting job on a remote farm; however, her first night of work may be her last as she is terrorised throughout the night.’ Tell me you are not at least a little bit interested.”
“Yeah, that just confirmed my answer of a ‘never going to happen’ Reid...Hey why dont we watch this, ‘Newlyweds John and Jenny Grogan leave behind snowy Michigan and move to Florida, where they buy their first home and find jobs at competing newspapers. Soon afterward, the Grogans adopt Marley, an adorable yellow Labrador pup. But Marley soon grows up to be a mischievous handful. Still, even while he's destroying the furniture and failing obedience school, he always manages to bring out the best in John, Jenny and their growing family.’” You said with mere enthusiasm as you turned the cover of the movie to Spencer, letting him read the title.
“Marley & Me? You're kidding, right? Oh come on! This is not even related to Halloween!”
“See! Now you are catching on to the plan!!”
“You are SO boring. How did you even become my roommate”
“Watch it, Reid.”
“Fine. I will tell you what. How about we make a compromise. We can watch my movie first and yours last so you won't go to sleep so terrified”
“You know what? Fine, I will prove to you that I'm actually really good at watching scary movies without a safebox movie after”
“I'd like to see that”
You tried to hide your smile from him but he caught it just in time. He rented out the movie while you got some snacks and something to drink. Now, it's not that you weren't scared of horror movies persay, you just liked having your anxiety levels to a minimum. You were surprised that the same man who was afraid of the dark loves watching horror movies. But then again, everything Spencer did surprised you. You loved being his roommate, it made sense for you guys to get an apartment together. He was your best friend and favorite co-worker so when you both went through the same traumas your line of work offered, you decided its best to live under the same roof to keep each other a little safer.
You guys made it home and you placed the bag filled with goods down and made a beeline to your room to get a cozy blanket and some comfy pillows. If you were gonna be on the edge of your seat for about two hours might as well get as comfy as possible. You prepped the living room couch for you and Spencer as he came out in his cute Star Trek PJ pants and a plain T-shirt. You giggled as you grabbed bowls and cups to set up the snacks. You were excited more so because it was halloween so that meant fun sized candy and your favorite.. chocolate.
You both got comfortable and you let out a deep breath once the movie started playing and glanced in Reids direction. He smirked as he saw the uncertainty displayed all over your face. It almost made him laugh but he kept it quiet so he wouldn't end up being kicked. As the movie went by you got closer and closer to him. With every jumpscare you jumped in his direction and halfway through the movie, you were glued to his side and whenever you assumed there was going to be one, you hid your face in his shoulder and he would smile. He was really big on his personal space so it took him a while for him to get this far with you but he felt safe with you he was more than welcome to let you practically cling onto him.
This did not change the fact that when you did cling onto him, he got nervous and wasn't sure how to react and sometimes. He was always worried about if he should bring you closer or where his hands should go whenever this occurred but as time went by he was a little more secure in what he was doing. Your own adoration for the guy made you oblivious that he got nervous around you and you wouldn't realize when you would cling onto him, it just felt so natural to you. There was about half an hour left of the movie and you were practically feeling your heart in your gut. You were craving a piece of candy but too scared to move away from Reid.
“Can you uh pass me the bowl, Spence?”
“Sure thing, are you okay?”
“Oh yeah, just peachy!”
“You're scared, aren't you?” he smirked as he passed you the bowl
“Shut up. This is ALL your fault”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night!”
“Anything at this point” you laughed out, placing your hand on his thigh and Spencer tensed up.
As the movie was coming to an end, during this time you removed your hand from his thigh and slowly moved it next to one of his hands and let it rest there. There was one last jump scare and you instinctively grabbed his hand tightly and with that the movie ended.
You let go and smiled and he awkwardly smiled back.
“We should've stuck to Marley & Me” you deadpanned which earned a laugh from him
You started to clean up with Spencer helping you and once you were done, you were both heading to your room. You thought about him sleeping in his own bedand you frowned. You wish he was sleeping next to you, keeping you safe from the fiction.
Once he brought your pillows back in your room, he admired you and sent a smile your way when you looked up at him.
“You know, it's not the movies that scare me, it's the fact that we see the real thing all the time. It's the horrors of everything that we see and people don't know how much pain goes into things like this. I'm not saying we deal with demons or whatever, I just mean that it's just a reminder of what the real world has offered” you spoke from the door frame as he started to walk to his room
“Yeah, I know what you mean. Some films get labeled as ‘Based on a true story’. It makes you uh wonder if they will ever know the real damage”
“You know for a genius you wonder a lot”
“Can't know everything even if everyone thinks I do”
“More like just Morgan. I love it when you school him though”
“The genius title can be a gift sometimes”
“I would think more than sometimes. This team would be nothing without you and your genius wits”
“Thank you, Y/N”
“Anytime. Well, goodnight Spence”
“Goodnight, sweet dreams”
You were walking to your bed and got comfortable but the question was on the tip of your tongue and it wouldn't hurt to just spit it out and ask. The knot in your stomach getting more unbearable the more you contemplated asking it. You walked out of your room after 10 minutes of tossing and turning and headed to his.
“Hey S pence?” you spoke softly while you opened the door
No answer. You walked to his bed and called out his name. You felt him lightly stir awake but then quickly fell asleep. You sighed and walked over to his reclining chair he had for reading and picked up one of his books and read it silently with a book light. You always found comfort in his books because they just made you feel safe knowing they were his, especially the ones he would read to you in the jet. You ended up falling asleep on that chair and woke up with the book on the little table and a blanket draped over you. You got up and wrapped the material over your body and looked at Spencer's bed and saw it empty.
You walked out and there he was making coffee and some oatmeal. He hadn't noticed you as he set the table for you and him until you cleared your throat and he looked up.
“Well look who is awake”
“Hey, morning. I'm uh sorry for sleeping on your chair, it must've been confusing to see me there. I uh didn't feel like sleeping alone and I didnt wanna wake you up so I read myself to sleep.”
“Oh it's okay. Also I wouldn't have minded if you woke me up.”
You smiled and headed to the bathroom to get situated, once you were finished you sat down next to him and thanked him for the breakfast. You both ate in silence for a while and then you spoke up.
“I had a lot of fun last night. I know we do this regularly but I just love spending time with you”
“Well, thanks. I uh love spending time with you” he replied with an embarrassed smile
“Next time, we are SO watching Marley & Me” you joked
Request: @allexthakatt : "I just LOVE your writing!!! Could I possibly get a ✨plus size✨ reader x luke? Maybe reader is comparing herself to JJ or Emily and just isn't feeling herself?? Oh and Luke isn't her bf YET. he's just like pining for her but she's so caught up in her insecurities to notice? Fluffy end?! Thx bby I love you!!! 😘"
A/N: i literally know luke would be all about a plus sized queen ugh im soffffttttt. Thanks for the cute prompt- enjoy!!
You’re ten when you sprain your ankle on the playground at school and wind up at the doctor’s office with your mom. The doctor was nice and distracted you from the pain in your ankle with some funny jokes. He even lets you listen to your own heartbeat with his stethoscope.
But at the end of the visit, once you have a splint on your ankle, he turns to your mom and mentions the term overweight.
“She’s on the high end of her age’s weight class,” he says matter-of-factly. And maybe it was just a simple matter of fact. You’d never thought much about your weight before that day. You were happy. You loved to play- especially outside. Your favorite game was capture the flag, but it didn’t matter. You were active and healthy.
Your mom listens to his advice intently, because he was the professional after all. Who was she to question his word on your health? And when you get home you’re placed on what she calls a diet.
“That means no more ice cream after dinner, and we’re going to cut back on the popcorn, too.”
And maybe the doctor was right, you started to think, as you took a long look at yourself in the full length mirror behind the bathroom door that very same night. You pinch the skin protruding from your stomach and watch as the fat around your thighs jiggles. Maybe you were unhealthy- too big, too fat. You think of your friends at school and for the first time, (but certainly not the last), you find yourself wondering, why don’t I look like them?
“The diet will help,” your mom tells you reassuringly.
Except it doesn’t. Instead, you wind up gaining more weight, this time at a rapid pace, because you’ve found that when Mom says you can’t have ice cream after dinner, you wind up sneaking into the kitchen after she’s gone to bed and eating it anyway. But you don’t stop there. You eat some of the watermelon that’s left in the fridge, too, and some crackers from the cupboard. Just enough from each box so that she doesn’t notice, but enough altogether, that you go to bed with a full, aching stomach.
This becomes a pretty standard part of your nightly routine until your mom caught you digging through the pantry one night, while she had come downstairs quietly for a glass of water.
The look on her face was shock, followed quickly by disgust. You felt embarrassed and ashamed and humiliated.
“I can’t believe you’ve been doing this,” then, “it’s no wonder you’re gaining all that weight.”
You’ve always had a difficult time loving yourself, you’ve always looked in the mirror and not necessarily liked what looked back at you. Sure, there were days where you thought to yourself, I look pretty today. But in the back of your mind there was always that voice that would add, for a fat person.
When you’re in your twenties, you finally break the habitual pattern of binge eating that you’d been doing since you were a kid. As you ticked off the number of days it had been since a binge, you sigh. You really would have thought that by stopping consistently overindulging, you’d lose the weight. But that wasn’t the case. The weight, for the most part, stayed on.
By your thirties, you’d come to an understanding, a blind acceptance, with your body. You didn’t always like it, but you appreciated it. And that was good enough.
Regardless, you had other things going for you besides your looks and your weight. You had a great job and infinite career goals to focus on. Not everything had to be about being beautiful and desirable, you learned.
Your absolute favorite thing about being part of the BAU were your coworkers. You never expected how close you’d get to them, but before you knew it, they felt more like your family than anything else. Something about constantly facing life-threatening situations with one another creates an everlasting bond.
You and the rest of the team have a rare evening off,which normally, you’d spend waiting skeptically by your phone, convinced that you’d get called in for a case any minute. But not tonight, Emily had promised. All cases were on hold until the morning. You were sitting at home, contemplating what to do with your precious time off when the text comes through.
It’s Tara messaging the group chat, asking if anyone was up for drinks and a night out. It doesn’t take long before Luke’s name comes flashing across your screen next. It’s impossible to ignore the butterflies fluttering rampantly in your abdomen as you read the words that he’s typed.
I’m in, he says.
Luke was the newest member to have joined the team. Just months prior, he transferred to the BAU from the Fugitive Task Force. As soon as Emily brought him into the conference room, you knew all bets were off. He was tall and handsome, with a clean cut, thick beard and dark skin. While he was given personalized introductions, you had noticed his bicep flexing as he extended his arm out to shake everyone’s hands. When he was introduced to you, his large hand engulfing your much smaller one and his dark eyes capturing yours, you knew instantly that Luke Alvez was a catch.
It was pointless and childish and arbitrary, and you knew it. But you couldn’t shake it, no matter how hard you tried- no matter how many times you told yourself he’d never be into a girl like you. A fat girl like you, the voice in your head said. You tried to challenge that voice- fought back and argued with it occasionally, but it still found ways of reminding you that you weren’t worthy of attention or affection from someone like Luke.
Before your insecurities could convince you to decline Tara’s invite, you typed back a quick, I’m in, too.
Turns out most of the team decides to join your night out. And the night was fun, or it would have been, if not for the critic in your head being abnormally loud.
Look how skinny JJ looks in that top- you could never pull that off.
Don’t eat the nachos, they’ll think you’re fat.
Eat the nachos, because if you don’t, they’ll know that you know you’re fat.
It was exhausting and all consuming. And while you knew your team didn’t give a shit if you ate the damn nachos or not, you couldn’t stop obsessing over it.
You try your best to enjoy yourself- to push those thoughts to the back of your mind.
Tara had picked the spot, it was a small pub that serves drinks and food. There was music, but not so loud that you couldn’t hear each other talk. You sipped your vodka lemonade, the straw pinched between your thumb and pointer finger, and watched as Emily and JJ were taking on Rossi and Matt in a game of pool.
Across from you sits Tara and Spencer. They’re having an in depth conversation about Jean Piaget, when suddenly, Luke slides into the empty booth seat beside you. Your senses are overwhelmed momentarily by his cologne, strong but not overpowering. His arm brushing yours, the warmth from his skin sending an electrical current through your entire body. You tense up, if not just from the shock of it all. But as soon as you let your guard down, the voice in your head creeps back into play. He can feel how fat your arm is- pull away. So you do.
If he notices, he doesn’t comment. Instead he smiles, his white teeth on full display. “Having fun?” he asks.
You take another sip of your lemonade and nod. “Yeah, it’s nice to have a night away from..” your voice trails off as you think of the word.
“Crime? Murder?” Luke smirks. “Serial killers?”
You chuckle, “How about all of the above?”
Luke nods. “They say crime never sleeps, but we finally will tonight.” He sets his drink down and scratches his beard in contemplation. “I’m thinking at least eight hours tonight.”
“Eight hours?” you gawk, “You’re living large!”
Luke laughs. There’s a brief pause in the chatter, and you take another sip of your drink awkwardly. You’re about to make a joke about the competitive pool game going on in front of you, when Luke leans over and says quietly, “You look really nice tonight.”
You falter, you don’t know how to answer, and you can’t even bring yourself to look up at Luke’s gaze, because you weren’t sure you could handle it. And while you should say thank you, you only curl into yourself as if what Luke said was just a snide, nasty remark. Compliments like that were so foreign to you and you felt like you didn’t deserve them, so you had a hard time believing that what Luke had to say was actually genuine. You knew he wasn’t the type of person to ever poke fun at another, but isn’t that what made the most sense? He certainly wasn’t hitting on you- so maybe it was a pity remark, or just a way to fill the awkward silence.
You end up just offering him a curt smile, pretending that you don’t see the way his face falls.
You were happy, most of the time you are happy and carefree. Not as carefree as some on the team, but still. You joke with Tara and Emily and have meaningful conversations with Spencer. You ask Dave about his weekends and listen with intent as Matt tells you stories about his infinite amount of kids.
But then there are days where you’re nowhere near that feeling.
There are bad days. And when they come, they're always so sudden and unexpected, it almost takes your breath away.
You’re away on a case with the team in Colorado Springs when you have your first really bad day in a long time.
The case, for the most part, keeps you busy, and for a while you’re able to ward off the negative thoughts. Instead of fixating on how worthless and huge you felt, you think about the four victims that have gone missing in the area, you think of the Unsub and ways your team can find them. You think about ME reports and patterns in each abduction, it’s enough of a puzzle that you’re able to stay occupied.
But when you’re back at the hotel, the rest of your team in their own rooms, and left to your own thoughts, that’s when the quiet consumes you.
As a child, you learned that the one thing-the only thing- that helps when you’re feeling this overwhelming sense of anxiety and dread, is to binge. You figured it was your way of self harming. It helps you stuff the negative thoughts so deep down within yourself, that for at least a little while, you’re numb to all the pain.
You know you shouldn’t- you hadn’t in so long. But just this one time would be okay, right? Only this once, just to feel a little better, and then you wouldn’t do it again.
The battle inside your own head rages on. You take deep breaths, you try to journal what you’re feeling, but the feeling doesn’t subside. Only when there’s a knock at your door, and you’re forced to pull yourself back to reality, does the argument get placed on the backburner. You blink back tears that you didn’t even realize were there before hastily making your way to the hotel door.
“J-just a minute,” you try to make your voice sound normal, like the debate going on inside your mind about what you were about to do would be obvious to whoever was at the door. You quickly wiped your cheeks and brushed your wrinkled shirt off before hoisting it open
“Hi,” you manage to smile as you open the door.
Luke was on the other side, to your surprise, holding two brown paper bags and a couple of bottled drinks.
“Hey,” Luke answers, his eyes lingering on your face for a brief moment. You wonder if he could tell you’d been crying.
“What’s up?” you drawl, as if to politely ask, why the hell are you knocking at my door at eleven pm?
“Everyone else was asleep and I was hungry-” he holds up the bag of what was apparently food and shrugs. “Except, I bought way too much, I’ll never eat it all. Are you hungry?”
You gave him a confused look. “I-”
“It’s just burgers, some chicken and some fries, nothing fancy- but I didn’t want to eat alone and I saw your light on..”
You sigh, but then step to the side, a gesture for him to come in. Luke gives you a relieved look before entering your room. He heads to the bed, which was the only place to sit.
“Do you mind?” he asks.
You shake your head, “No, go for it.”
You close the door behind him and join Luke, you barely noticed but the dread in your stomach from earlier had been replaced by a light, fluttering sensation.
As Luke begins unloading the greasy food from the bag, you hesitate. Was this a trick? Was he secretly trying to see how much food a fat girl like you could put away? Was he going to go back and tell the team how much you’d eaten?
Luke picked up on your apprehension.
“Is everything okay?”
You don’t answer quick enough before he asks, “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Goddamn these intuitive profilers.
“Nothing,” you say. But somehow, Luke hears the lie.
“I know I’m the new guy,” he says, “and it’s probably gonna take some time before you trust me, I know that. But I want you to know you can talk to me.”
“Yeah.. it-it’s nothing,” you manage to say, because you can’t talk. Not about this and not yet. Maybe not ever.
“Okay,” Luke nods. “Sometimes, it’s tough being the new guy. I can see how close you guys all are and I just want to be a part of that eventually, you know?” His eyes bare into your own and you catch a glimpse of the sincerity behind his words, and that’s when you start to feel guilty for ever thinking he was here to make fun of you. Luke was here for a friend, for comfort of his own.
You sit on the bed next to Luke and take a fry from the basket. “You are part of it.” You assure him. “Everyone here adores you.”
Me included, is what you don’t say.
“You wouldn’t be included in our group chat if we didn’t.”
That makes Luke smile, his dimple evident in his cheek.
He stays in your room for a while, the two of you laughing and talking throughout the night. You never realized how much you didn’t know about Luke. Like that he had a dog, for example, or that he grew up in Arizona and moved around a lot once he joined the military. He keeps you laughing, his jokes and sarcasm thrown intermittently through his speech.
You shared the chicken and fries with him, not even feeling self conscious when you reached for more to put on your plate. You were too wrapped up in whatever story Luke was telling and the way his eyes lit up as he talked about the things that interested him, to be insecure.
Luke takes the last drink of his bottled water before sighing. “I suppose I should head back to my room, try to get a little sleep.” He lifts his arm and looks at the watch on his wrist. “I’m definitely not getting my eight hours tonight,” he laughs.
You nod in agreement, the two of you stand up in sync, and you walk Luke to the door.
Luke steps into the hallway before turning to face you. “Thanks for the company,” he says.
You smile, “Thanks for the food.”
There’s a brief, awkward silence, where neither one of you knows what to do next. But then, it happens quickly. One minute, you’re studying the way Luke’s warm, brown eyes are trained on you, and then, before you can predict what’s about to happen next, he’s stepping forward, one hand planting itself firmly on your hip and the other cupping your chin. He pauses briefly, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away. But you don’t- and so the next thing you know, Luke’s pulling you closer to his body and his lips are pressing against your own, their warmth spreading the entirety of your body.
Fat, fat, fat- your mind suddenly screams. You suddenly become hyper-aware of his fingers digging into the soft, fleshy part of your hip, you wonder if he’ll be repulsed by what he feels. But if he was, he didn’t make it obvious.
There had to be a catch, you thought- some ulterior motive for him to be kissing you like this. Guys like Luke didn’t go after girls like you. Fat girls like you, the voice said.
He just wants sex.
He’s not thinking straight.
He’ll regret this tomorrow.
You pull away, breathlessly, your heart suddenly racing. Before Luke can suspect that something’s wrong, you offer him your best smile. “I should get to bed,” you explain.
Luke can sense the shift in your tone, he wants to ask what’s wrong, but you’re already stepping away from him. Instead he nods, trying to hide his confusion. “Okay, yeah. G-goodnight.”
“Night,” you whisper before shutting the door.
Luke hoped he hadn’t fucked up.
That was his first thought as soon as he saw the door close in his face. He bites his lips, they still taste like you, and slowly backs away.
His feet drum against the cheap carpet floor of the hotel as he paces the few doors down to his own room.
He really thought you’d liked him- thought you’d reciprocated the kiss even. But judging by the look on your face when you closed the door, he thinks that he might be sorely mistaken.
He doesn’t get his eight hours of sleep.
In fact, he barely gets any. Instead, he spends the night trying to figure out where the hell he could have gotten things so wrong.
When Luke’s phone started buzzing loudly, he felt exhausted and not even close to ready for the inevitably long day ahead.
Regardless, Luke got ready quickly. The one conclusion that he had come to after contemplating all night was that he wanted to find you and clear the air. Despite his obvious feelings for you that were now right out in the open, he couldn’t risk your friendship, or making things awkward at work. Once he was showered and dressed, Luke departed the hotel in search of some coffee.
He remembered that you liked it hot, with just cream and a hint of cinnamon. This would be his peace offering, an apology for crossing the line, the promise that it wouldn’t happen again.
You were answering a text from Emily on your phone, directing you to go to the ME office, when you heard a voice calling your name.
Your head snapped up, and there, sure enough, like he was waiting for you in the lobby, Luke came jogging over. In his outstretched arm was a cup of coffee.
For a moment, you wonder if maybe Luke really was into you. A kiss one night and coffee the next morning? Surely that meant he wasn’t just looking for a hookup, right?
You accept his offering with a smile. “What’s this?” you ask, dumbfoundedly. Could you really be this lucky? Could he actually be interested in you? The butterflies in your stomach started flying rampantly as you quickly got your hopes up.
“I wanted to apologize-” he says, his head falling, like he was ashamed. “For last night.”
Your heart sank.
“I crossed the line, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Your friendship means a lot to me-”
And there it was. You were no stranger to the friendship line. Guys used it all the time as a way out. After going on dates, after hookups- it was always the same response from them when they weren’t interested- I like you but I don’t want to risk our friendship. I really just want to be friends. I’m not ready for a relationship, can we just be friends?
To you that translated as, you’re not good enough for me.
You were a fool for ever getting your hopes up- for ever thinking that someone like Luke could actually be interested in someone like you.
You take the coffee and try not to meet his eager gaze.
“Don’t worry about it,” is all you can manage to croak out.
Luke can sense the shift in your tone. “I really am sorry,” he says.
But you’re shaking your head, and feign your best smile. You back away from him, not wanting him to see the glistening tears evident in your eyes.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, your mind was screaming at you. “It’s fine,” you say instead, your voice cracking slightly just as you turned to leave the hotel lobby.
Luke knew he had fucked up.
The peace offering that he had made was nothing short of a disaster, and now he’d have to come up with another way to make up for what he’d done.
That much was obvious as he was left standing alone in the hotel lobby, gazing at the doors you’d just walked out of.
Three days later, on the jet ride home, Luke could barely get you to even look at him. Not that he had made much of an effort, but still. He wanted to give you space. Hadn’t he done enough damage already?
He knew he’d have to think of a way to talk to you about what had happened. Maybe if he just explained himself, you’d understand.
But how was he supposed to talk to you when you wouldn’t even look at him?
He finally gets his chance when the jet has landed and the team is back at the BAU. He finds you at your desk, hunched over a stack of paperwork. Rossi, JJ, Tara, and Spencer had already left for the night. Matt was gathering his belongings from his desk and heading out the door, meanwhile Emily was barricaded in her office with the door shut. If Luke was ever going to get a minute alone with you- it was now.
He shuffled cautiously over towards your desk. You gave him no indication that you’d heard him at all, but nonetheless, he clears his throat before getting too close. He didn’t want to startle you.
You don’t even look up from what you’re writing.
“Hey,” he says. “Can I talk to you for a second?” he asks.
“I can’t right now,” your tone is flat. “I have this whole stack I need to do before tomorrow.”
Luke feels frustrated and dismissed, but he bites his tongue. Instead of pushing, he grabs half the stack of paperwork from atop your desk and takes it back to his own desk. Before you could protest or argue, he sits down and flips open the first file, ready to work.
The entire floor is eerily quiet. Besides the occasional clicking of keys and scratching of a pen, you and Luke work in complete silence.
You feel bad. You really didn’t have to finish all of this paperwork by tomorrow. That was just your excuse to avoid talking with Luke. But now, it was almost 1 AM and you were nearly finished with it all.
You hear his pen click and you knew that was his indicator that he was done with his stack. Your heart clenched in your chest anxiously. You hear him approach your desk and there’s a sudden thump when he throws the stack back where he found it.
“There,” he announces. “Can we talk now?”
The man was persistent.
You set your pen down lightly and sigh. Admitting defeat, you nod.
Luke pulls Spencer’s chair out from his desk, which was right next to yours. He scoots it closer to you.
Your gaze remains hyper focused on your hands, which are cupped and laid neatly in your lap. Luke ducks his head down, trying to catch your eyes. Begrudgingly, you look up and make eye contact with him.
“Listen,” his voice is soft, “I am really sorry for kissing you the other night.”
You groan frustratedly. “Will you stop apologizing?” you finally say. “I get it, you didn’t want to kiss me. It’s fine- But I don’t need this- this pity.”
Luke’s taken aback by your frustration, but it’s the most you’ve said to him in the last three days, so he takes it all in. As your words play back in his mind, he frowns. “I never said I didn’t want to kiss you.”
“Well- whatever you did or didn’t say, I get it, okay? I get that it was a mistake and it didn’t mean anything. It’s fine.”
But Luke continues shaking his head. “I never said any of that-” he protests.
You remain quiet, but he continues. “Y/N, I never said any of that. Is that how you feel about it?” he asks, hands clasped tightly together.
You shrug. Your cheeks felt hot- you were insecure with Luke’s eyes trained so intently on you. You wished you could just forget this whole thing happened, wished you could just disappear. But Luke keeps pushing.
“Is that how you feel?” he repeats. There’s a brief pause. “Because that’s not how I feel,” he says. “I don’t regret kissing you. I like you and I wanted to do it. And I thought you wanted to, too. If I had known you didn’t- I never would have done it. I regret making you uncomfortable, and I regret making things awkward between us, but I don’t regret the kiss.”
Luke’s words swim around in your head, but they’re a jumbled mess. You try to piece them together slowly, in order to process what he was saying. Did he just say he liked you?
There was a part of you that felt like this whole thing had just been a cruel joke. But yet, here he was- sitting in front of you with the most sincere eyes you’d ever seen, and suddenly, you started to wonder if maybe this was real. Maybe, for God-only-knows what reason, Luke actually had feelings for you- was actually attracted to you.
“You like me?” you ask, your voice low.
Luke laughs- like actually laughs- and when you look up at him, his eyes are squinting as his lips are curled into a wide grin. “Uh, yeah- I thought I’d made that blatantly clear.”
But you shake your head. “I- I didn’t know..”
“I kissed you-” he says, like it’s obvious.
“I know, but I figured you just wanted to hookup- I didn’t think you actually liked me-”
“But I brought you dinner- and coffee. Did you think I just do that for everyone?”
You remain guarded, because you still couldn’t entirely trust this. “Yeah,” you say. “Kind of, I guess.”
“Okay,” Luke nods. “Let me spell it out for you then. I like you.” He says each word carefully and slowly. “And I liked kissing you. And I’d really like to date you. And if you don’t feel the same, that’s okay. But I’d still like to be friends, and I’d really like for things not to be awkward at work.”
You stare in awe, not able to believe any of this was really happening. You wanted to ask why. Why did this handsome, kind, honest man like you? What made you even remotely good enough for him?
But you didn’t ask. Because did it matter right now?
“Your turn,” Luke urges. “Since I seem to have such a hard time reading you, can you spell it out for me too?”
You hesitated. You’d never flat out told someone how you felt about them. You were insecure and terrified of rejection. And even though Luke had flat out told you rejection wasn’t a possibility, you were still embarrassed to tell him how you felt. You didn’t like how vulnerable that made you- how open to the hurt that made you.
But Luke’s smile was so reassuring and kind, you tried not to think too much before telling him quietly, “I like you too. I have for a while, actually.”
He chuckles, which you think might just be your new favorite sound. “So why’d you pull away the other night?” he asks longingly. “Why have you been so distant?”
“Because- I didn’t think someone like you would ever be into someone like me.”
The moment the words left your lips, you regretted it. And when Luke’s face contorts into a look of confusion, and then hurt, you regret it even more.
“What do you mean?” he asks.
You fumble with your words, because you weren’t sure how to explain. “I just thought someone like you would be more apt to go after someone that looked more like Tara or JJ or Emily is all.”
“What’s the common denominator there? Because Tara, JJ, and Emily look nothing alike-”
“You know what I mean,” you protest. “I thought someone like you would be more apt to go for someone-” you pause before saying the word, “someone skinnier than- well... me.”
Luke’s face falls, but you laugh it off nervously. “Just makes you wonder why, is all,” you say.
“I like you-” he assures you. “I like you because you’re smart and you’re thoughtful.”
Luke’s managed to scoot his chair increasingly closer to you without you noticing. When you look down, you realize that your knees are practically touching. The first thing to run through your mind is, oh my God, your thighs are bigger than his. But you shake the thought away. You weren’t going to let that voice ruin this- not again.
“You’re intuitive- the best profiler.”
The way Luke’s looking at you makes everything else melt away. All you see is him and those unimaginably warm eyes.
“You’re kind and generous and you make me laugh,” he pauses. “You’re beautiful.”
You remember how soft his lips felt against yours when you kissed days ago, and all you wanted was to taste him again.
Thankfully, you don’t have to wait long for your wish to come true. Luke leans in, closing the gap between you two. Just when he’s only inches from your face, he grins. “I could keep going, you know?”
You ignore him and his cheeky grin and instead you lean forward, and without thinking, cup his face between your hands and pull him closer.
His lips are exactly as you remembered, soft and smooth and all-encompassing. Luke’s hand lands just above your knee and when you start to wonder whether or not your leg feels fat underneath his touch, you’re able to refute. Who the hell cares? Certainly not Luke, that much you were learning quickly. In fact, you wondered if maybe he even liked it.
The thought passes quickly, and you’re able to focus on the man in front of you instead- the one who was quickly claiming you as his own. The one you deserved.
Hotch doesn't cuddle, or that what he says to himself and everyone who asks,
Well, he doesn't, not after Haley, but then you came along and slowly changed his mind.
It started when you shared a room with him for the first time, there was only one bed and you didn't want him to sleep on the floor. After arguing and seeing that you weren't giving in, he accepted.
In the morning you wake up in his arms, head resting against his chest, you stay quiet listening to his heartbeat; you didn't want to wake him yet; you were enjoying his warmth.
When Hotch woke up, he felt a weight on his chest; it was strange and familiar at the same time. He remembered that you were sharing a bed with him. His mind connected the dots and realized that somehow during the night you had rolled into his arms.
He wanted to untangle from you and maybe lecture you about how inappropriate it was, but he couldn't bring himself to move and disturb your sleep. You worked hard, and you deserved the rest.
The sound of the alarm brought both of you to reality, deciding to pretend that nothing happened between you and him. He followed his morning routine, and you did the same, not leaving time to conversation about the last night.
On the second night, Hotch couldn't stop thinking about what happened and secretly he hoped it happened again. He missed the feeling of having someone in his arms; he hadn't held someone since Haley died.
It happened again, but this time he was awake when he felt you getting closer and closer to him. You were deep into your sleep that you probably didn't notice that you were getting too close to his body.
Hotch accepted you into your arms, wrapping his arms around you, making you relax in your sleep.
It was only two nights, but he didn't think that he could sleep without having you in his arms. Part of him was getting used to holding you, his senses were getting used to your smell and the way your skin felt against his touch.
aaron hotchner / reader - can you possibly do one full of fluff between aaron and a pregnant reader where he like talks to the baby inside their stomach and draws lines on it and does cute stuff in front of the team with it and yeah just a cute one
i love dad hotch so much, he’s such a sweetie! 💗thanks for sending such a sweet request!
This baby took after her father. Aaron was the love of your life, and you couldn’t imagine having this baby with anyone other than him, but every time she flipped around or kicked you to get your attention you couldn’t help but think that already she was a little attention hog just like her father. And, when she really got going with kicking around inside you, the only thing in the world that could calm her down was the sound of Aaron’s voice. Such a daddy’s girl already.
On the plane back to D.C. after a case in Texas, you were stretched out on the couch trying to get some rest when the baby started kicking you like she was playing a game of soccer with your kidneys. You rubbed your belly hoping to settle her, wincing when it only made her kick harder.
“Hey, you doin’ okay over there, mama?” Derek asked from where he was playing cards with Spencer and Emily. Aaron looked up from his paperwork at you with a frown.
“Yeah,” You grunted, pulling yourself up to a seated position. “Baby didn’t like laying down.”
Pushing out a breath, you felt another hard kick land. Before you even had to ask, Aaron was on his feet walking over to the couch, settling in next to you. He placed his own hand over your bump and rubbed it gently. Almost instantly, she kicked against your stomach, as if she could feel the fact that her dad was near.
“She’s kicking again, right?” You nodded at him. He kissed you lightly before leaning over to kiss your bump and start speaking to it. “Sweet girl, you need to start behaving in there. Your mommy needs to get some rest, and so do you. We can’t wait to meet you, you have a whole plane full of aunts and uncles ready to hold you and hug you, not to mention a big brother at home who’s so excited to be your best friend.”
Every face on the plane was turned towards you and Aaron as he spoke softly to the baby, who was finally starting to settle down. It was amazing to you how little time it took for your baby girl to hear her dad’s voice and calm down.
“You know, it’s almost time for you to stop flying on airplanes,” He said softly to the baby, and to you. “Then you and mommy are going to stay with your brother at home until you decide to grace us with your presence.”
“Man, that kid’s already got him wrapped around her little finger,” Derek chuckled.
“Which isn’t surprising, we’ve seen him with Jack after all,” JJ grinned.
Aaron ignored the rest of the team, drawing soft little hearts on your tummy with his finger as he spoke softly to the bump. You pushed your hand through his hair gently, silently thanking him for helping calm your baby down. Aaron smiled up at you, kissing your bump.
Later that night, when you were home from the case, Aaron had you snuggled up with him in bed, rubbing a soft hand over your belly. You sighed, dropping your head back against the pillows.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” He murmured.
“I carry her for nine months,” You grumbled, pulling the covers around yourself. “And still she only likes you.”
“Sweetheart, she loves you,” Aaron said with a soft smile. “She won’t settle down in there because your voice makes her so excited because you’re her mommy.”
“I know,” He nodded, kissing your forehead. “She may seem like a daddy’s right now, but I’m telling you, as soon as she’s born the only person who’s going to be able to calm her cries is her mom.”
“I love you,” You said to your husband, kissing him. “And I love you, my sweet girl.” As if she wanted to let you know that she loved you too, she kicked right where your hand lay on the bump.
Aaron gave you a knowing smile, brushing his lips over your forehead. You wished Jack would come into the room and lay with you and Aaron, so you could be surrounded by your entire little family. You couldn’t wait to be able to hug each of them tight and tell them just how much you loved them.
As if you had summoned him, Jack came racing into your bedroom.
“Can I stay in here for a little bit?” Jack asked sweetly. “I missed you.” Aaron glanced at you for a second and you grinned, nodding to him.
“Come on up, buddy,” Aaron said, making room for his son between you. “We missed you too, all three of us.”
“The baby missed me?” He asked with wide eyes.
“She sure did,” You said, pushing Jack’s hair out of his eyes. “Do you want to tell her about your day?”
As Jack spoke to the baby, she moved around slightly, like she was reacting to her bother’s story. You stared at your boys as they talked to your little girl, feeling so much love in your heart for your family.