i hand you my ribcage and wait for you to return it shattered
I am the writing on the girl's bathroom wall, the tiles she counts when she's sick, the smudges of makeup on the mirror and the little women who prop each other up to smoke out the window
When the mind yells, the whole world shuts up
I like to think I'd be a little famous if the confidence kept in these papers walked hand in hand with this body that my soul has been caged in...
and every time I think about him a poet is born
You sent out a plea
and I didn’t take it seriously.
You needed me and reassuring
but I wasn’t listening
you needed to feel needed
and I didn’t see it.
How could I have been so stupid.
i hope you know the way i admire the way ink flows across your skin, in shades of blue and violet, dark as midnight and light as the morning sun.
i hope you know the way i notice your smiles as you teach, as a small child holds their breath and hope you'll catch them.
i hope you know how the sun reflects in your eyes, shifting from stormy grey to ice blue to green grass freshly spun.
i hope you will see you how i see you, one day. that you will see past every social curtain and insecurity, and see your beauty. i hope it will not overwhelm.
i hope you will see me how i see you, one day, too.
Sometimes I just want to disappear
And I don't want to be here.
I'm not sure I can do this anymore
I feel as though I'm all alone.
Feeling like I've started to give up
Every dream that I ever had
Feels like every door is shut
And now all I can be is sad.
I've been encased
In this glass face
One that doesn't shatter
To the others, it doesn't matter
My limbs have been frozen
My mind has been locked
Heart marinates in poison
My soul always blocked.
Rigged and ripped
Tattered and stitched
Scratched and abused
Body never fused.
As time slips through my hands
I'm no longer allowed to walk
"I'll come save you" is a brand
That's no action but all talk.
Walking through the endless darkness
Fears around you in the endless blindness
Stranded alone in this empty
The water to heal here is scanty.
Trapped in the infinite numb
Trying to find the tiniest light
To find the softest hum
To find the will to fight.
Coming up empty-handed
In this nothingness where I landed
Trying to find something to touch
To try and hold 'cause it's getting too much.
Fighting to end this mindless peril
I'm losing the will to go on
Not sure how long until
My unwilling life will come to a stop.
I Write All This Sad Sad Shit
But I Want You To Know
I'm Doing Better Now
Getting By Just Fine
Progress Is Hard And I'm Not Sure If
I'll Ever Be Free
Weight Of The World So Heavy
But I'm Getting Stronger
Smile More And Feel Like
I'm Getting Better
Shit Ain't Easy But
Writing These Poems Is Helping
Getting Better Is Hard
But I'll Survive
So Help Me God
I'll Fucking Survive
Sailing in the sea ,
With our small paper boats,
How come i never realised,
It wasn't ours but yours.
Sailing in the sea ,
I tried to make mine,
Making the space for two ,
But you said you never liked .
Sailing in the sea,
I made the one for me and only me ,
But when yours started to sink your screams called for me .
Sailing in the how could I've save you ?
When i was barely hanging too,
I wouldn't regret this day if only i had chose you, wondering will you still call for me and only me ,
Wondering, what if i had chosen you again ,
Would i have been sailing all alone again?
By Khadija aka Jojo
It is a both blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply.
my love, my love, my love
my love, my love, my love, my love learns to grow a heart of her own, my love waltzes and dances when I cry, in her heart, she grows vines and roses, and uses her blood to color it all!
my love, my love, my love, my love creates her own world, we go on dates on a boat upon a lake, and drown each other once the sun sets.
my love, my love, my love, my love, she loves me just a bit, she clings to my hands, and dress for me like she’s a doll!
my love and I, we’re not the same, my love loves to hurt me and i love to watch her tear me apart.
my love, my love, i love to dream, i love to dream and i love to pretend, i love and i love and I love, and i love just a bit more.
my love sees and laughs
i decide its ok to fall once more.
I was there was a way to translate my pains
The way it all feels
So heavy and unending
Some poets wrote poems
Some artists paint pictures
Some musicians sang
And some writers wrote
I don't feel like I am any
I don't feel like I know their language
I am stuck between half-conveyed expressions and half-torn words
And all this
Pent-up rage, forbidden explosions, hurting hearts, burning chest, crying eyes, broken smiles, shaken hands
How can I find solace from sharing
When I myself don't know
How to make any of it make sense
How can I tell the world of this pain that I don't know how to share
That I don't know how to end
Like this paragraph of words and phrases
That I still don't know
How to make sense
Wanting something in general verses wanting one thing and that one thing only…
Aug 2022 BChellie
Wishing to indulge in past reminiscence.
We should comfort each other’s existence.
Met you first within a neglected dry system.
Sooner than expected we all die, so I’ll try be less of a victim.
and if i could peel back my ribs,
let her poke at my heart,
play in my blood,
physically squeeze the air from my lungs,