veilofvliens

[veilofvliens]

a paradoxical purpose presided in the poet

[veilofvliens]

Chapter 2

As the city's sweetheart drives through a canopy of leaves, she wonders if she can build a home here *and* live in it.

She wonders how much time it will take her tile familiar feet to get used to wood and stone.

Would the sounds of nature keep her up at night or lull her to sleep?

Little Italy, quaint Sicily. A random pin on the map she doesn't remember when she placed. Perhaps she knew someone who lived there. Or a photo of the place had intrigued her once upon a time. Whatever the reason was for Sicily being pinned, it didn't matter now that she was here.

And what a time she had arrived.

Her plane landed just as the sun peeked from behind the luscious landscape's horizon. And by the time she walked out of the airport, the sun was fully uncovered by rolling hills but was still low in the sky.

She had arrived just as the city was waking up.

It rose in a lazy way, picking up speed as the minutes passed by. The gentle quiet was enough to allow one to get lost in their thoughts, and others to enjoy an un-oppressing silence before the riot of the daily life started.

School buses rumbled by, some children asleep and other's amidst a tall tale retelling.

#222 words #not the 1k i aimed for but eh #midnight writings #unedited #writeblr #ramblr

[veilofvliens]

Chapter 1

The world was far too big and all too small for the girl in the car.

The trees went by so fast they began to blur, but the moon stayed steady and stationary, not moving at all.

Oh how she wished to live like the moon; changing, day by day, in small, barely noticeable ways, never the same for long, but always constant in the way it's always there in the sky, even if you don't see it.

Alas, fate's humor is dark and her longing wish seems farther each day.

And today is the day it seems the farthest.

58 kilometers far to be exact.

58 kilometers behind her is the home she lived in for more than 10 years.

And 8 kilometers in front of her is the "Welcome to Seattle" signboard that seemed fatalistic in it's bright but faded colors.

Seattle had done nothing to her, yet she hated all that it stood for.

Hated the schools it boasted about where she knew no one and would be all alone. Hated the streets that she has never walked before and held none of her favorite shops. Hated the vast number of stores that she had to explore, on a quest to find comfort she couldn't in her home. She hated that everything was new and she couldn't find an ounce of familiarity in any inch of this new city.

A little girl with pigtails stomped her glitter covered shoe in her ribcage; again and again, saying the same thing again and again in a pitiful tantrum; *i hate it, i hate it, i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate it*

*i want to go home* she whined.

*oh little one, it doesn't exist anymore* her jaded older self thought.

*the home you were born into is now an empty apartment that will be filled with another's life soon*

*you have to build a new home for the first time in your life*

*i don't want to, that's not how it's supposed to be* the little girl stomped

*and to that i reply with grief's words "oh, but that's how it is"*

tears swam in the little girls eyes, and dribbled down in thick drops, as big as the pearls her dad says they are

the older girl blinks her own dry eyes quickly

the little girl, safe in her chest, can cry all she wants without a second thought

but the older one that sat unguarded in the car had her parents to worry about

parents that would dive in with their recorded positivity that couldn't drown out their wails of regret no matter how loud they turned up the volume

she didn't rebuke her parents for their decision

she knew that they didn't have a choice

but at some point in her past years, when she was that little girl in pigtails, they had a choice

they had the choice that they didn't have now

but perhaps they never did

they never stood a chance against their own disposition

they were a crooked slave to themselves

they resented their actions and performed some more

you can't change who a person is, she had learnt

but if she could only have one wish for her entire life

it would be to make it so that she could

no

people are a product of their place

the place they grew up in, their place in the arbitrary societal hierarchy

no

if she could only have one wish for her entire life

one wish that all the gods, all big and small, had to grant

she'd wish she had the power to change

change her fate

change her parent's past

change the world

she wish the world was as malleable as the dirt it was meant to be

and her hands, so slick with tears, could create people and places and pasts and presents

all with a twist of her wrist

the power, the security that no matter what happens she had the means to change would save her from so much heartache, so much regret, so much pain

*but that would make you god, and you are but a mere mortal, it is mortal fate to feel regret and pain and feel a heart break*

*then let me be god* she thought *i am made in his image am i not? let me be god, i do not want to be human*

*this humanity that was spoken of, that was gifted at the price of Prometheus's liver, this humanity that is innate and humane, is not as kind as my teacher taught me it was*

*the way most humans are, you would think humanity is a synonym of tyranny, of cruelty and needless violence, humanity is wars and wins, humanity is dynasty's that fall beneath pride, humanity is stolen pleasures and unpaid debts, humanity is greed and hunger, humanity is fear for an after where our consequences finally affect us,*

*humanity is hubris with a soul*

*the soul makes it salvageable, does it not?*

she dismissed the voice with a shake of her head

*does the fact that a human, no matter how cruel, still has a soul, not leave a chance for redemption?* the voice persisted

*their idea of redemption is a 5 minute prayer and a disregard for religion outside of their benefit*

*they seek shelter in the arms of their protector in times of danger, is that so wrong?*

*they seek shelter but do not follow the rules of the shelter, every religion has only common rule; be kind to all, and yet the one thing that one is, regardless of religion, is unkind*

*unkindliness prevails more than death*

*do you presume you can avoid death if you are kind?*

*i assume less people would be afraid of death if they were kind*

*most of the fear stems from the judgement they'll face, if they're kind, make the effort to be unfalteringly kind, they wouldn't be afraid of judgment*

*do you think most are purposefully unkind?*

*that's what i see*

*so it is your presumption, you're set of traits that you compare them against, that yields the result that they are unkind*

*...i guess*

*are you not being unkind here then?*

*such is the plight of being human i guess*

*cop out*

*you aren't even real, shut up*

*you're the one who listens, no?*

*shut up*

#midnight writings #first chapter of a wip that i'm working on #made a promise to myself that i'll write at least 1k a day #keeping up with the promises #i said i'll write but i ended up rambling #such is the plight of being human i guess #tw: religious themes #tw: religious trauma #ig #kinda #she's pretty pessimistic about religion #unedited #1K #reached my goals #go me #writeblr #ramblr #poetblr #tell me will #asterisk instead of quotations #start the trend #first post