victorian-mlm

[victorian-mlm]

Hi you're wonderful

thank you, anon! you are too!

#ask #anon

[victorian-mlm]

i think the reason so many mlm accounts on here are run by transmascs is because after years of our attraction to men feeling strange and uncomfortable because it was purely seen through a heterosexual lense with us in the role of the woman, being able to express our love of men as a man feels like coming home to a warm, loving house we never knew we had

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[victorian-mlm]

I feel like some LGBTQ+ people need to hear that it isn’t their fault if their loved ones don’t accept them.

And it isn’t. No matter what the reason is, what they say to you, any circumstances at all- it isn’t your fault. It isn’t ever your fault.

If they love you, than they should accept you- Even when it’s confusing or hard for them, they should always support you. That’s on them, not you. 

I’m really sorry if you’re going through this right now. I truly hope that they come around, and soon. But in the mean time, please remember to never blame yourself.

#text

[victorian-mlm]

to trans people who can’t afford a binder or can’t get one, there’s an organization called genderbands! fill out the form on their website and they will send you a binder that comes for FREE!!  their binders are from individuals who donate (and if you’d like to donate you can also go to the website and see what you have to do!) they’re shipping to canada, the us, and mexico.

here’s the website

[victorian-mlm]

Passing: Profiling the Lives of Young Trans Men of Color (2015).

[ID: Excerpts from interviews with two trans men. The first, Lucah Rosenberg Lee, has a shaved head and a trimmed beard. The second, Victor Thomas, has curly black hair and a trimmed beard, and is heavier-set.

Lucah, talking about gender dysphoria prior to transitioning, says, “I was in a heterosexual relationship. I was female. I would question this all the time. Am I attracted to these men, or do I just want to be them? That was a big turning point in my own self-discovery.”

Victor, talking about the transphobia he’s endured as a trans man of color, says, “You’re subjected to something because they don’t understand you. And you have to watch the way you react, because you’re a man now. People take you as a threat.”

Lucah, in another scene, discusses feeling erased as a trans man, and racism in trans communities. He says, “Being so invisible within the LGBT community can actually feel so isolating. When people don’t know my history as a trans person, I feel sometimes that I’m viewed as more of an enemy.” END ID.]

Trans men of color deserved to be loved and appreciated, and made safe. Trans men deserve access to our own spaces, no matter how masculine and cis-passing we are. We deserve credit and recognition for the contributions that we have made to trans history, most of which are erased nowadays.

Being a man is not dangerous or wrong. Being masculine is not dangerous or wrong. Being a black man is not dangerous or wrong.

Please support trans men of color.

Please support trans men.

Please support men.

Men belong in trans spaces. Men of color belong in LGBT+ spaces. Straight trans men belong at Pride. Men do not have to be feminine to be queer.

[victorian-mlm]

it's okay to mourn the person you could have been. it's okay to be angry or resentful at that lost potential. it's okay to be sad about it too. but i want you to know that there are so many parts of you, the you that exists right now, that are beautiful and lovely and meaningful. just because your past is lost doesn't mean your future has to be too.

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[victorian-mlm]

because apparently I have to say it:

Testosterone is not a “violent” hormone. It doesn’t make you “more aggressive” or a worse person, it doesn’t make you “dangerous” or “toxic”.

Transmascs do not need to be “warned of the dangers of T”. We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we’re going to become a danger to those around us- that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you’re already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you’re going to be fine. It’s normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, and then apologize & work to do better. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster.

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[victorian-mlm]

nonbinary is a complete gender. you can be just nonbinary. you really don’t have to align yourself any more specifically than that

you don’t have to find the perfect just right word for your experience, you don’t have to parse out what named gender you’re closest to on a spectrum, what subset of nonbinary most closely reflects your truth, weigh your masculinity against your femininity against your androgyny to see what the total comes out to, you don’t have to label your gender by its relation or opposition to the gender you were assigned

all those things are great for exploring your gender & if you can find a home in them more power to you

but you don’t have to. you really can just be nonbinary

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[victorian-mlm]

if you need some sign that you're worthy of love, here it is. you are loved. i love you. you, the person reading this, with all of your flaws and strengths. you deserve happiness. you deserve love. be kind to yourself.

#text #my post

[victorian-mlm]

Shout out to black gay men. Too many times black gay men are portrayed negatively in media and just written off as jokes or harmful stereotypes. But nah, black gay men are smart, kind, handsome, strong, determined, etc…etc…and they deserve more than people give them.

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[victorian-mlm]

Happy pride month to my fat lgbt siblings!!! We deserve as much love and kindness as our thin counterparts!!! BE FAT AND PROUD!!!💖💖💖

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[victorian-mlm]

shout out to mentally ill guys. to bipolar guys, to guys with psychosis, on the schizoaffective spectrum, who dissociate, who have did or ddnos, who have paranoia or hallucinations. you are not evil, or scary, or wrong and you are deserving of love

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[victorian-mlm]

viewing queer identities as “this is the label that makes me happy and feels most accurate now” rather than “this is who I am, was, and always will be” will definitely take the pressure off, friends. changing your mind is proof that you have one.

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[victorian-mlm]

#image

[victorian-mlm]

I want younger trans men to know it's never too late to start T. I see teenagers saying it's too late for them all the time but I'm almost 23 and I'm starting it today. I have many friends who started in their 30s or 40s. Starting in your teens is a really new phenomenon, and while it may be normal now, there are entire generations of trans men who started in their 20s and beyond and they turned out just fine.

Don't feel ashamed if you can't, don't feel ready, or don't want to go on T yet. Hell, even if you never go on it, there's no shame in that. Your body, your choice. And please, if you're in an unsupportive household, keep your head up. You'll get there one day, and it'll be worth it. I never thought I'd be here, but here I am.

#text

[victorian-mlm]

We owe all the gay men and women who came before us an incalculable debt for living in the world they did and still making art, writing poetry, taking pictures of themselves loving the people they loved. Please love each other just as fiercely as they must have looked to the future and loved us.

#text

[victorian-mlm]

to lovely humans who were excluded from invitations, left behind when they tied their shoes, forced to walk in the grass when the sidewalk was full, spoken over when you tried to contribute, whispered about or laughed at, given the side eye when you tried to fit in... you are so worthy of love and I’m sorry people have convinced you otherwise. I promise that your people are out there - people who will see the side of you others ignore, people who share weird inside jokes with you, give you affectionate nicknames and go to museums or roadtrips with you and fulfil whatever idea of friendship you’ve always fantasized about. even if you feel like an empty shell of your former self because you’ve hidden yourself away due to shame, this exterior will melt when you accept yourself or let people in and you’ll realize there was nothing wrong with you all along. you have interesting things to say, you deserve new chances and beginnings, your heart is probably made of gold because you know what it’s like to be left out in the cold, and you have so much to give. you are so worthy and someone’s idea of a friend too, and I hope you receive lots of hugs in the future from yourself and others because you’re so lovable.

#text #i needed to read this and you might too