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E(xo)(vi)
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Quinn stares down at Demi as she lazily messes with the strings on his sweatshirt, her head gently rested in his lap. There’s a warm feeling in his stomach- there usually is when the odd young woman is anywhere near him. Her eyes travel up to him and she smiles softly.
Jay’s bedroom door swings open and slams against the wall. Quinn flinches, Demi springs up off the couch. They both see the dark growing in his downcast eyes.
“What happened?” Quinn ventures first.
His cousin responds shortly, “I’m going out.” Neither of the two in the living room can say anything back before Jay is already out the door.
It’s unusually cold for an early September night. Jay pulls his scarf up tugs the corners of his jacket tighter as he strides down the middle of the street, uncaring.
He stares straight forward until he hears a light, feminine voice. “Hey there, you got a death wish or somethin?” It’s a girl with a shock of red hair he can see from where she stands in the alley. She wears something tight and revealing and he knows exactly what crowd she belongs to. Just who he needs.
“Something like that,” He replies, taking her unspoken invitation to approach. She smiles lopsidedly and leans against the exposed brick wall. He can now see a few patches of freckles on her shoulders and face. She reminds him of a lover from long ago. “What’s something so young like you doing out so late all alone?” He questions.
The girl shrugs. “I was waitin’ for someone but I think they stood me up,” She sighs and bats her eyes at him. “What’s got you walking in the street?”
“I live on the edge.” Is Jay’s answer. They exchange a few more cheesy phrases and questions until he feels he knows enough about her to make his decision. Newly 18, living on her own, hooking in the shit part of a shit city. “Why don’t you come with me? I’ll get you a room in a nice place,” He asks, twirling a few strands of her hair between his fingers.
She’s enraptured by the older man and follows him blindly and dumbly.
———
The ‘room’ that Jay takes the young girl to is familiar to him. It’s in the basement of Nocturne- though he took her through a back entrance. Not that it would matter.
She’s beginning to grow a bit weary although the basement is highly decorated. Jay keeps his composure and the facade that he knows this girl wants from him, sitting on one of the velvet seats nearby- after some unimpressive head. He nonchalantly makes empty promises about supporting her financially and all that as he watches her moves around the room.
As the girl floats towards his ‘table,’ he gets up and silently moves behind her. He can feel her shaking increase as she tugs at the cover on top of it. The soft clanking of metal can be heard. It makes him smirk.
———
Jay wipes his red stained hands on his pants. The girl is dead. He sighs heavily and writes a quick apology note to his 'custodians’ for the mess. Something along the lines of: extreme stress and withdrawal, don’t expect this to be the last one.
The body is left there, the mess is left there, the weapons are left there.
Without a care, he leaves the property and continues his walk down the street.
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“Is it on? Oh okay! Hi, Jay! It's Quinn and I'm starting middle school in a month Pop wanted me to call you and ask you if you wanted to come and see me before I started school. Call me back! … And yeah. It's Quinton Merrik! In case you forgot.”
“Hi, Bluejay! Pop gave me your number because I got my own phone. I'm starting 8th grade soon and I wanted to know if you wanted to come to my middle school graduation party!”
“Hey, Jay! It's Quinn. I dunno if this is still your number but uh… It's been a while man! Hit me up. Let's get together.”
“Jay! What's up, man? Yanno I'm graduating high school soon. Do you want to maybe call me so you can come watch me walk that damn stage? Haha… Let me know. Miss you.”
“Quinn again. Moving to Australia with Dad. Hope I can see you one last time before I go.”
“So I know you aren't answering me but you are getting these. So I'm just gunna give you these neat voicemail updates. I met this girl. Kathrine. Katie. She's amazing, man. She’s a waitress at my favourite coffee shop. Going to school to be a hairdresser or something. She dyed my hair blue the other day. Pretty cool huh? I'm working on starting my own tattoo shop. I got some myself. Some that I'd really love to show you some day. Anyway… I miss you, Bluejay. Call me back sometime. Love you.”
Jay groans at the loud ringtone blaring from his phone at 3 a.m. In a sleepy haze, he slides his phone to answer and holds it to his ear. “What the hell could you want?”
“Jay? Woah! Hey, it's Quinn!”
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Theo hates Hunter for dragging him to this party. He hates him for forcing more ‘trend fitting’ clothes on him; for pulling his hair out of his face; for throwing him in a situation the older twin knows damn well will send Theo in an overwhelming spiral. He also hates him for leaving out the detail that the girl Theo has his eyes on would be there.
The two stand off to the side in a corner admiring the crowd of rowdy and drunk 17 to 18 year olds. Theo bites back a comment about how this reminds him of parties back in the 'old days.’ He knows already Hunt would just thump him and tell him those days are gone. They don’t worship them anymore.
The girl is sitting on another boy’s lap. Her delicate and pale arms are wrapped around his neck and her legs kick back and forth.
"We're staying for a half an hour and then leaving, Hunt," Theo snaps to his brother. His eyes stayed fixed on her. Hunter laughs and nudges him, "You sure? You don't wanna stand here and gawk at her all night?" Theo shoots him a look and opens his mouth to argue, but Hunter cuts him off by raising his palm. "Whatever. 30 minutes. Fine by me. Stay here though, I'm getting more liquor." The older twin walks off without listening to the younger's protests. Theo watches Hunter push through the crowd and be greeted by a small trio of young girls. He smiles and waves at them, causing them to swoon when his back turns. That's as close to worshipping as they're going to get in this day and age. And form. "So you guys are twins?" Theo almost drops his cup of soda at the sudden female voice that appears next to him. It's her. She looks up at him with a smirk as he tries to collect himself. Eventually, he stifles out a yes. "That's cool. We've never had twins at school. Or Greek people." She nods and leans against the wall with him. In her hand is a bottle of blue moon which she brings to her lips for a drink. He can't help but stare. "So. You never gave me your name a while ago." A while ago? Oh! She means when they collided in the hall when school was in session. He helped her pick all three of her books up and, very flustered, apologized eight times. It was the first time he saw her. She said it was okay and he scrambled off out of embarrassment. "You usually the kind of guy to help a girl out then leave her?" "No! Oh definitely not. I was uh- well I had to- I had a presentation and-" She giggles,"You're so tense. What's your name?" He can't help but smile at her. "Theo. Theo Lovell." She shakes his hand with the hand not holding the almost-empty bottle. "Are you here with anyone?" "No, just my brother." Hunter is still gone, Theo now notices. Probably watching him from an unseen spot. "Oh my god! You guys are so dumb!" He jumps again. She's yelling to her friends, thankfully. She turns her attention back to Theo. "You really shouldn't be so nervous. You're from Greece. Everyone already thinks you're cool." "Ah... Nice to know." Theo scratches the back of his head on impulse. "Stop it!" She's talking to her friends again. "Oh my fuck... I have to go beat up my dumbass friends. But maybe I'll see you." She smiles and winks at him, placing a hand on his arm. His heart lurches. Right as she leaves, Hunter comes back as if on queue. "So. You change your mind about leaving?" "No," Theo says bluntly. No girl can calm this nervous wreck. "I'd like to go now, if you don't mind." Hunter sighs and pats his brother's shoulder. "Alright. Fine, let's go." Hunter the ever reliable. But before the two can leave, Theo hears his name being called. A slip of paper is shoved down his shirt pocket as he turns. "Call me." She winks. He unfolds the paper as she runs back to her friends laughing. 'xxx-xxx-xxxx. ttys, ariel.'
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Jay turned his attention to the young woman who sat herself silently in front of him a few minutes ago. She was taller than most girls who find themselves in his office; her chin up a bit and gazing down at him.
“Well. What brings you in here?”
The girls voice had a thick accent hanging on top of it. “Looking for work,” She said.
No shit, Jay thought as he eyed her up and down. “And why? You look put together. Like you don’t need something like this.”
“I need something to do at night. Simple as that,” She replied. She kept a steady gaze on him as he continued to observe her. “Do I not please?” She asked bluntly.
Jay raised an eyebrow at her. “I never said that. I’m sure there’s people here who would love to see what you have to offer. But,” He gets up from his chair and walks over to hers, “do you have what it takes?” He said in her ear. An intimidation tactic. He know longer found any potential dancers alluring- he had Noel at home for that and is happy with it. Still, he knew how clients can get and needed to make sure the new girls do too.
The girl in the seat didn’t flinch. She just tilted her head to look up at him as he stood behind her. “I do,” She said shortly with perfect eye contact. There was something in her dark eyes that sent a quick shiver down his spine. A good quality.
“We’ll see about that,” He responded, patting her shoulder and walking back to his desk. “How old are you?”
“21.”
“And can I get a name?”
“Demitri.”
He let a smirk form. “We’ll keep in touch.”
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The time is 10:30 at night. Jay stands outside of sleazy ‘restaurant’ and it makes him think of Nocturne. A cigarette is pressed between his lips. He takes a long drag and exhales, fingering the pocket knife hidden in his pocket with a free hand.
His target is inside; a Harold something. Probably getting some pretty young thing to sit on his lap and lie to him about how handsome he is. Jay knows how it goes, he owns something like this.
After some time the door swings open and a scrawny man in a tan trench coat staggers out. He’s mumbling something to himself and grabbing at the belt of his pants. Jay rolls his eyes and follows at a distance. His cigarette gets thrown on the ground and stomped out. He stomps the light out.
Jay draws closer and closer to his prey until finally he shoves the other man into a near by, narrow alleyway. Cliché, but it’ll work.
The man named Howard attempts to cry out but Jay presses a rag to his mouth. He’s out like a light.
–
When the man regains his consciousness the first thing he sees is Jay sharpening one of his knives. Jay keeps all his knives in a case. They never leave his side when he works. “Good morning,” Jay says without looking at the tied up man.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” The man hangs his head but smiles with his teeth. He starts chuckling, obviously drunk.
Jay grabs his face with a still-gloved hand. “I know, bud. You know why I’m here.”
“Just do it. Get it over with.”
Raising an eyebrow, Jay responds, “You don’t want to weight your options here? You can still pay.”
“I’m broke, man. I can’t pay shit. Just put me out of my fucking misery already!”
Jay doesn’t move. The man is thrashing now, hysterical. In a way Jay is taken aback. He thinks this will be easy? That Jay will just slit his throat and Mr. Howard will be dead? No, Jay has been in a bad mood the past two days. He’s going to have fun.
“Fucking kill me already!”
“Shut. Up.” Jay hisses, shoving the blade against the mans throat. He clams up immediately. “Not so tough now, are you?” He notes, nodding to his victim’s now soiled pants. “I got a lot on my mind right now and I’m not fucking around. You’re the lucky guy who gets to 'endure my wrath.’” He chuckles darkly.
“I’m going to play with you for a bit.” The knife is dragged along his chest. “Let’s have fun.”
–
The man screams out from under his cloth gag as Jay slices a deep cut across his bare chest. The blood is dark and splatters onto Jay’s face. He sighs. “Messy messy,” He tuts.
The man is crying hard and sobbing something about his wife and two year old daughter. Jay ignores him and continues to carve into his body.
–
Two long hours later Jay sits on his hotel bed. There’s blood on his hands and his face and his clothes and he’s exhausted. He heaves a sigh. The man is gone. A killing blow of a slit throat stomped his light. A colleague came and picked up the body, a maid was charmed and paid off to clean up the mess.
He glances at his bloodied hand. Disgusting, he thinks to himself. Work is messy- but it’s a living. On the dresser lays his cut; $15,000 in cash. “Damn,” He breathes.
He slides his phone out of his pocket. His first instinct is to message Jax. He’d go for Noel but there’s no way he can do it and accept himself. The blood spots each tap he makes.
'He’s dead.’ He hits send. No waiting for a response. He closes his stinging eyes and falls asleep alone. He needs to wake up early to catch his flight.
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Jay looks out the car window and up at the tall, brick building. He’s second guessing himself; part of him wants to go home and pack, part of him wants to message Noel again, part of him wants to bust into Lucy’s apartment and at least have her company. “Fuck it,” He says and gets out of the car.
He knocks on the door to apartment 342, Lucy’s apartment. It takes her a minute to open the door as if she knows who was on the other side. She looks different. Her hair is cut shorter and she seems a bit… thicker in some places. Jay wastes no time letting her know what he’s here for as he grabs her by the waist and gently pushes her back into her studio apartment. She doesn’t resist. He can see in her dark eyes how she wants him too.
“Lu,” He mutters as he leans her backward onto her bed. She falls softly and stares up at him, almost dreamy. “Oh, Lucy,” Jay repeats. She smiles and strokes his arm.
“Shh,” She hushes.
“I want you,” He responds, looking her over hungrily. But he can’t help comparing his old love to his new. Noel is still on his mind. He huffs and grabs her a little tighter. “I want you.”
He lets her turn him over so she can sit on top of him. “I’m leaving for a bit,” He says.
“Why?”
“Work.” She nods at his response. She knows how it works.
She leans down and presses her lips against his neck how he likes it. A rush flows through him. He hasn’t felt her in a long time and he can feel himself getting ‘worked up.’
He might be a little late.
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He heard a knock at his door. It was firm and loud. Someone really wanted in. But it was pouring outside; who would have driven all the way to his house just to stand in the rain and hope he’d answer? Especially at 9:30 at night.
“Milo, let me in. I know you’re there.”
Milo’s heart leaps. That’s Jay’s voice. His tormentor, his nightmare, his enemy. He’d almost go as far as to call him his nemesis. All of the shit he put him through and now he’s at Milo’s doorstep? Most likely drenched? He peers through the peephole.
There stands Jay, arms crossed and without a coat. “Fuck,” Milo hisses. He watched Jay bang at the door again. “What do you want?” Milo shouts.
“House keeping. What do you think you dumbfuck? Just let me in.”
His good conscious gets the best of him. Milo opens the door and now sees Jay in full. The much taller man looks down at him, dropping with water and… slightly shivering. He’s pretty. No, no. Shut the fuck up. Milo mentally shakes himself back on track. “Do, uh, you want a towel or something?” Jay nods and lets himself into the living room.
After briefly disappearing into the bathroom, Milo came back with two towels. He handed them both to Jay. “Thanks,” He mutters, beginning to shake the wetness out of his hair with one. The other gets wrapped around his neck. Milo stares at him for what seems like forever before Jay looks at him, “What?”
Milo stutters, “N-Nothing. It’s just weird. Seeing you here…” He trails off and begins to mess with one of his rings. He’s so pretty.
Fuck OFF. This man has done so much fucked shit. He curses at himself in his head. How dare he even go that way. Just because he and Lucy were no longer on good terms, doesn’t mean he gets to “admire” Jay as he sits on his couch… The fabric of his sweatshirt clings tightly to his arms. The rain stains his face in just the right way.
“You’re thinking something.” Jay squints at him. Those sharp green eyes pierce through Milo’s very existence. He can see right through him. “I don’t know what.”
A short breath of relief and Milo tries to regain his composure. That’s when Jay speaks again, “I do have something to ask you, though.” He pauses as if to let Milo respond. He doesn’t. Jay looks him dead in the eyes, “Do you know who the father of Lucy’s child is?”
Oh for fucks sake. How the hell does Jay expect him to know this? They haven’t spoken for weeks and there is no way she would have told him anyway. He stares back at him. In the low light the silver in his hair seems to come out even more. The sharpness in his eyes is amplified by the intenseness of his question. His jaw visibly clenches. Milo can physically feel himself start to lose control.
“What’s in it for me.” He croaks.
Jay looks at him with a raised brow. There’s a flash of something in his eyes as he smirks at Milo. “Well, what do you want?”
Damn him. “A favor.”
Jay moves closer to where Milo sits— the arm of the couch. It makes him slightly taller so Jay has to glance up at him. “Favor?” He echoes, his voice low in tone. A hand strays itself barely close enough to graze Milo’s leg. “I can do favors. If you promise to tell.” Milo gulps and wordlessly nods.
Jay’s hand shoots up and grabs Milo by the back of the head, yanking him down so his ear is leveled with Jay’s mouth. “I don’t like when people break their promises,” He growls. Teeth are suddenly placed on Milo’s neck. He gasps in surprise.
Five minutes later he’s being shoved onto his knees in his room with Jay’s finger prying his mouth open.
10 minutes later he’s gagging and choking.
20 minutes later he’s clawing at Jay’s back as the bed frame rocks mercilessly.
30 minutes later.
“So you don’t know anything?” Jay says after a long while of silence. He’s partly dressed but Milo remains undressed. He’s looking over the red, long lines decorating Jay’s back. His shoulders heave. “Wood.”
“No,” He admits. “No, Jay, I don’t know shit.”
“Fucking amazing, Wood. Fucking amazing.” Milo turns around.
He can hear Jay cracking bones. His knuckles, most likely. His hand roughly grabs Milo by the shoulder, forcing him to flip on his stomach.
Five minutes later he’s bleeding from his nose and he can’t feel the right side of his face.
10 minutes later he’s alone in his house, laying on his bed, still bleeding.
20 minutes later he’s asleep, dried up blood covering his chin, neck, and chest.
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Lucy jumps when she hears the knocking on the door. Expecting it to be Jay, she jumps again when she sees that instead, Milo stands on the other side.
“Hey… I think we need to talk.”
She lets him in and closes the door behind him. He paces and looks around. “Nice place. Studios are nice,” He notes.
God, if he only knew who bought it.
“You were here to talk?” She brings his attention back to the matter at hand.
He nods. “Right, I just wanted to apologize and explain myself. When you left us for someone everyone told you would only cause you hurt, it killed me to watch you go. It really did and-”
“I appreciate you coming but you can’t really expect me to forgive you.”
“…Lu, I’m just trying to explain what I-”
She cuts him off again. “Milo, if you’re really going to try to get me to listen to how you felt, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
She begins to walk to the door, but just as she’s reaching for the handle Milo gently grabs her by the arm and pulls her back into him. His arms wrap around her and she can feel him breathe deeply. Lucy doesn’t return or deny the sudden hug. She just lets him do it. Eventually he says, “I just don’t want to lose you again.”
Their eyes meet. His are tearing, hers follow suit. This time she returns that hug. Tighter than she’s ever experienced before. They part.
“But,” She says, gaze dropping to the floor, “I can’t be in a relationship with you again. Not anytime soon.”
“I understand. But I still love you. Even as a friend.”
Lucy smiles genuinely. “Love you too.”
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Lucy blankly stares out into the street from inside the small café. A local place they used to go and talk. She checks the clock. 4:30 P.M. He’s 15 minutes late- as usual. He never has been good with being on time. Lucy is about to grab her bag and leave when the small bell chimes and he walks in.
The moment she locks eyes with the tall man, her heart freezes. He looks at her cooly and sits at their table. He has nothing with him. His hands aren’t in his pockets. He is no visible threat. “Lucille,” He addresses her by her full name.
“Jay…den,” She breathes. She isn’t breathless but in a way she is. “What did you want.” Lucy hides her expression behind her coffee mug.
She can faintly see a slight smirk on his lips. She reminds herself to be strong. As he responds, his face changes to ‘sympathetic.’ “I heard about your loss and first I would like to give you my deepest condolences.”
Hearing Jay talk about the miscarriage makes her feel sick. “And?” She asks, “Is that all?”
“No, no. I wanted to extend a hand to you. I saw what you said about moving into a new place and I wanted to offer my services.”
“What do you mean?”
He lets the smirk fully appear now, “I want to buy you, up front, a new apartment.”
Her heart lurches. “I’m sorry?” She couldn’t have heard him right. This was the man that threatened to kill her and Milo. Now he is here to offer her a home? It sounds so fake, so planned, so like him.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot and all of the things you’ve been going through. I feel terrible. I want to make it up to you,” He says. He begins to tap his fingers repeatedly on the table. He’s getting impatient even though his face doesn’t say it.
“I…” Lucy trails off. She needs to think. Even for a moment. She doesn’t want to accept. She knows it’s a trap. She knows there’s a catch and that he’ll demand something in return- whether it be: going back to work for him; sex; cutting her off from everyone else; anything like that. “What’s the catch?” It’s an obvious question to ask.
“No catch. I only want to check in every so often. Just to see how you’re holding up.”
Her head is spinning. He’s here, she’s here, they’re talking, he’s offering, she’s needy, he’s offering, she’s desperate and wanting and-
“Ok.”
He smiles. She holds his gaze with no expression. He rises from his chair. She digs her nails into her legs. He says goodbye. She nods.
He’s gone.
Her phone buzzes.
It’s Milo.
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“so this is the girl? I was expecting someone a little… thicker?”
“she’s on a strict diet.” Jay said to the short, tubby man standing beside him. “if she isn’t suitable for you, you’re welcome to leave.” his eyes turned cold, narrow, and harsh as he glared at the other man.
he shook his head quickly, “no no, she’s perfect. just don’t look like she used to.”
jay crossed his arms and looked down at ‘the girl’ laying on the cold floor. that’s all she was anymore- the girl. no name, no past, nothing but something for a random guy to fuck and then toss to the next 'customer.’ it was her punishment. her punishment for being away to long, for not calling as much as she should have, for betraying jay. the first few times she fought back. then there were two of them at once and suddenly she had a 'change of heart’.
“so I can do whatever I want to her?” the man asked, moving slowly towards her.
“anything. she’s a good girl, aren’t you?” jay asked her, tightening the grip on the leash that connected to her collar. she gave no response. he tugged sharply and she winced, moving to sit on her knees. she nodded.
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milo’s room . 2:30am
His door opened slowly. Sitting at the keyboard, his back was turned so it was extremely easy to pretend he hadn’t heard. He stayed facing towards the keys and papers spread on top of them. The door closed again. Did she leave or was she standing there?
“Mi?” The voice was a pathetic squeak.
“Hm?”
“C-Can I talk to you?”
“Go for it.” His back remained turned.
“Please… don’t be mad at me.”
Milo finally turned around. There she stood in an oversized sweatshirt (probably Jay’s) and clutching a pillow to her chest. “I’m not mad at you, Lu. I just don’t know why you’ve been basically ignoring me for the past week.”
She flinched, “I-I’m sorry, ok… I just…”
“Look, Lu,” He started, “I think I know how you think by now. What we did the other night was nothing huge. We kissed, you slept in my bed, you woke up next to me, it’s over. We can move on from it.”
“It’s not that, it’s not that.” She mumbled, approaching him slowly. “I’m just afraid.”
He now noticed her eyes were red. His voice softened, “Afraid of what, kid?” he touched her hand causing her to flinch again.
“What if… what if Jay finds out?” She spoke in a hushed tone. The hand raised to the spots of dull red and purple on her neck.
“He wont find out, Lu. Those will go away and so will what happened.”
She sat on him. She put herself in is lap and pushed her face into the pillow. “Not that.” Her voice was muffled.
“Then what?” He asked.
She kissed him quicker than he could react. Harshly, but this time in full sobriety.
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