whatkindofbeast

[whatkindofbeast]

this whole covid thing is throwing me off. not being able to do things that matter to me is scary.

scary to not see clients in person and not get that felt sense of what it’s like to be in the room with someone.

not wanting to give that up.

but feeling overwhelmed, wanting also some sort of escape, some flight towards safety. 

today i spoke with my baby sis who my parents have kept me from since she was 4. and it felt like my desire for life, my creativity came back.

i hate this thing of everything going online as if it makes no difference that we can’t meet each other in person anymore.

i hate seeing clients from my screen, doing my filing online, dealing with this blasted piece of technology instead of a real human.

trying trying trying.

so much internal shutting down, sleeping, trying to put this out of my mind.

i don’t want to do therapy from my computer for the next 18 months.

sad. 

#personal

[whatkindofbeast]

i’m at work and i’m so fuckin tired. and im trying to be productive and mostly doing alright but also i wish i wasnt so tired.

[whatkindofbeast]

“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body  love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things.”  ― Mary Oliver

#mary oliver #poetry #you do not have to be good #motivational quotes #quotes #healing