xoxo-anxciousanum

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

TRUTH!

Sometimes all you need is to get rid of the negative vibes and move on.

“Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.”

—

#summerclearout #cleansethesoul #doneandone #byefelicia

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

I don’t know what it is but God seems to be testing me this week a little more, dunno if it’s just in my head but I feel like these quotes are RELATABLE AF! First of all, it’s horrible when things go wrong and people say things about each other, I would never condone any of that ever! It’s just plain mean and wrong. Where I come in is where people that are supposed to be your friends hype up the situation even more and exaggerate the situation to the point it is childish. Especially when the person explains that it was an immature petty mistake that should not have happened. But everyone had already made their opinions of the situation and came to their own conclusions regardless of it being the truth or not. I just think when you get to this age you are done with the bull and can’t be bothered with it all anymore. It just gets tiring to be perfectly honest. From my experience true friends do not just throw each other under the bus when situations get difficult. It’s actually upsetting when you get blamed and you haven’t even done anything wrong. Do you know what the worst part is. The aftermath when everyone pretends it’s all okay when in reality they still have underlying issues. Like just say what it is and don’t hide. It’s better to get it all out man I cba with it though. All I did do was try to calm the situation and instead I got hung out to dry aswell. Meant to be a new year, new me and that THERFUR I SHALL BE GOING BY THE ABOVE QUOTES also positive vibes only

#positive #preach #peace

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

I don’t think I know anything. I don’t know what’s going on at work. I don’t know who I can trust. I don’t know whether to carry on crying. I just don’t know anymore. There is always too much going on in my head. Everyone hates me, it’s so obvious. It’s so easy to just pick on me. I don’t even have anything to say anymore. I’ve lost my personality. All I get called is grumpy, moody and irritating. I’m a nuisance, a waste of space. The worst child. I just feel like running away. But I could never do that because of my darling nieces and nephews. (Mostly cause of Ridah and Zarish) They look up to me so much as their role model and I would hate to disprove them. I love them with all my heart. I have become such a horrible person but it’s just because everybody around me. They fill my head with hate and anxiety. All they do is talk about everyone and they then expect me to act like nothings going on.

What is my life

Send help please

#feellikeabrokenrecord #mylifesonhold #ihateeverything #whatisgoingonanymore #cantdealwithanything #cantdealwithanyone #ijustwanttocryidontwannabealive

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Just a side note for anyone who actually reads this (apart from moi, Cause I only make this for me anywho) But yeah it has been two years since I've had my tumblr or almost two, which is mad! I've actually realised how much I actually love it as an outlet system for me. I have so many feelings that I need to get out of myself but it's not always the best time, place or person that will actually understand the way I feel. I get that quite a lot, where people just say I know I know. When in reality they don't know. They only really like talking about themselves rather than actually asking about everyone which is a maturing thing I suppose or it's just the way some people are. Im just so glad that I have finally realised this. I always go back and forth but I'm fed up of being the only vulnerable one. I always try to be the most kindest and caring person to everyone who trusts me. I keep all their secrets and I would never bait them out or throw them under the bus, but that just me. I guess some people just walk over me because I'm too nice. I need to learn to stand my own. But at the end of the day they are my fam (I'm talking about my cousins btw) I feel like I'm the one that is excluded from the group. I'm the different one. The awkward one. The one that no one actually invites anywhere unless it's a night away or a drive. Never for a laugh or a chat which is actually really sad and it really affects me when I'm around them. They have so many inside jokes and personal memmz that I've missed just because I was never actually invited. Only when they feel like a joy ride or something. But that's just how I feel. If I speak to them about it they might be like what ANUM!! WhAt are you talking about??? But I can feel it. The feelings are tehre. I have felt it all my life man. I have been bullied, excluded and ostracised my entire life, I'm only 18 bruhhh but yeah that's a whole other post which I will do because I do have lots of experiences that impacted on me to this day and formed the characteristics I have. But the thing is if I confront them and tell this to them they just will be like what and act like I'm making it up. It will make this awkksss and it will end up being forced.

#youliveandyoulearn #peace #serenity #tranquility #happy thoughts #happiness

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

The most life changing day ever

The most life changing day ever. It all started off so normal which is why it is much more eye opening, mind the pun. I went to the bootcamp at GCU, met up with my newly formed BEZZIES- Tubah and Moizza!! Actually love both of them so much. They are just both so down to earth and genuine it's crazy. Tubah is like the most confident girl I've met, she is so fierce and slays her makeup game! She is so sweet and is always smiling. Moizza is legit on the same wave length as me ado mind the pun. We are legit the same person. She is so kind hearted and genuine it's crazy. She has had a situation high school roller coaster of an experience which has made her more open minded, less bitchy and judgemental, which is the exact same for me man. We clicked as soon as we seen each other at Costa!! We have been speaking over text for a year so I feel like I know her so well it's crazy. Both of the girls are actually so so stunning!!! Still to officially meet the rest of the future OPTOMS but so ready man. Can't wait for this journey together and to create these incredible memories that we can cherish forever InshAllah. Lots of love The main reason I made this post was because of the situation that occurred while I was out at uni having fun. I came home to the worst news ever. My auntie Z, the most sweetest, kindest, caring auntie ever went through the most traumatic thing ever! She literally couldn't control the pace of her heartbeat. This was so out of the ordinary because she had not done any excessive activity that made her feel this way. She literally was feeling so dizzy, and light headed and could not control herself. Her body was actually shutting down and thank God she managed to call and get help straight away from everyone. Just the impact of something like this is unbelievable because it is a lesson. It is Gods way of reminding us how precious life is and how we should always stay on the deen. All I can take from this is a lesson and it's hard to take it all in but I'm slowly processing it now and I know I just need to be thankful for life and appreciate my family and my loved ones around me that impact my life positively. Ameeen ❤️💗♥️ Ps. I legit made this post three times because tumblr just decided to shut down mid paragraph!! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Another major milestone

So tommorow, or by the time I finish this post it will be the 7th of September 2017. This marks the day of my HLS bootcamp. I actually cannot believe the day is finally here man, I've waited so long to actually see the uni in the flesh. It is incredible that I have got the chance to actually go on this roller coaster of a ride. I've been searching for so long for what I actually want to do with my life. For me, I have a love for learning and experiencing new things. I love speaking to people and helping them without the stress and paper work. I don't want to file someone for divorce and I don't want to help them move house. I have realised that all I really want is HAPPINESS. I just want to feel part of a team and enjoy what I do no matter what it may be. I want to have a life partner that I can share this with and to travel around the world going to new places, trying new foods and just Living. Fed up of people determining what I want to do. At the end of the day, I am happy and blessed to live this life. I cannot wait to start this journey and I don't want to waste another moment contemplating whether it's the best for me. When in reality only GOD knows what's best, alhumdullillah for everything.

#stayhumble #alhumdulliah countyourblessings be humble be happy stay blessed love life spread joy spread positivity life is to short be happy be you

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Just wanted to make a real quick post eid post ya know, #EIDULADHA #01 sep2017

Basically, I actually left Eid with the most warmest and happiest feeling ever!!! Had the most best time with the family including my sisters, aunties and little nieces and nephews of course. But this time something was legit different, maybe it was my car but for once we actually really really enjoyed eid to the max man. We went out for some KFC, then went to get some ice cream before walking into WTF and walking straight outtta there, dafuq was that bro. But we genuinely had such a laugh, I don't remember a time where we were all so serious and bored like we even got to have a wee chat with our cousins with doesn't happen that often cause they are always at cricket and dat.

I just appreciate my cousins so much man, they are so much more to me than just my cousins, I honestly couldn't see myself having such a laugh without them, we get along so well, but we can actually be harsh to each other at the same time but that's just our bantaaa which no one will get cause they think we are angry with each other when we randomly say shit like khutttii and dat. But we have this mad bond that ties us together no matter what happens and I feel so blessed that we will be travelling on this journey together forever inshallah! God bless them all. Ameen ❤️🌺🌹

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

How annoying is it when people pick and choose who they want to be best pals with, it's so frustrating man. You could literally do so much for someone yet they will throw it back in your face, what's worse is they will LEAD discussions about the other persons behaviour and attitude yet will be the first person to cosy up to them like nothing happened, like hs some respect why so two faced man! Gets on my nerves and it just makes me realise how gullible or trusting I am of people that it makes me feel daft cause they clearly just use me then spit me back out! I'm fed up of it and from now on imma take a step back from it all tbh, all that's happening is I'm getting upset and hurt while the other person gets the best of both worlds! RANT OVER

#done #Imabsolutelydone #hatebeingpushedaround #immadome #feveryoneelse #fthehaters #liverhepeoplewhostickwithme #sister

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Do you ever just feel like you need to cry and relieve out all the pain you have been feeling for such a long time, I just feel really down lately and it’s horrible! I don’t feel myself, it’s like I hate who I am and I wish I was someone else living another life.

It’s such a horrible feeling and I’ve never felt it before man, I just feel so alone and bored of the same shit but just a difff day. It’s getting on my nerves.

On top of all this crap I need to sit my physics exam next week so I need to be revising all the time but I just feel so stressed out! I feel burnt and like I wish i could fast forward, on top of this too I’m obsessing over will singe, like a genuinely want to marry him, it’s just getting all too much, I need a holiday and a breather tbh

#stressedtothemax

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Do you ever feel a bit strange and like fed up feeling a certain way.

#whenyouthinkaboutacertainsituationsomuchthatyoudontevenknowwhoyoucanactuallytrustandwhoisgoingtobethereforyounomatterwhat

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete.

(via motivated-mindset)

⭐️

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Love yourself for what you are, instead of hating yourself for what you are not.

(via motivated-mindset)

Omg I hate that I always do this! I always think of the negatives when in reality I should be happy and blessed that I have unlimited positive occurrences in my life

#workingonme #memystyleandi

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Love this ❤️❤️❤️

follow for daily quotes

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Those moments after having a conversation with someone and realising stufff (it's just been a year of realising stuff you know -kylizzlemynizzle)

Hey so basically I was talking to someone through text and you know you just get that feeling that the cba, it's the worst man. They keep coming on then off, like why, what's the reason for it,or just be truthful and be like I'm busy sorry can't talk rn, hate when people are dry and barely say shit, be honest man! I literally feel so strange, like I have just finished my maths exam yesterday on Friday and I feel like there is constant speculation, like what did you get blah blah, how did it go, how did you find it, like shup you don't even care you just want to compare with your own daughter or son. Oh and I hate those people that are like well my child said they liked it and blah! It's like you didn't know shit! It's so annoying, they act like they are so smart when they are not even hard working man, hate people that are so smug, I'm like stop please, you don't know anything, get down from that high horse now plz thanks! Fs man, I worked so hard but typical me, I'm like awh wish I did more, even though I tried my best, it's just constant with me! Just inshallah I've met my condition and I can move on happily, hate this period of time where everyone is speculating, it's like stop, please man, at this time all the mums think they know everything, when the full year they paid no attention. Honestly man get over yourself. Anyways I'm just so glad it's all over, and I can finally focus on me and just finishing the rest of my exams! I need to meet another condition in another subject and the other two are just to fill my time table, so HWG. Honestly just realised F everyone else they don't care about you at all, literally referencing from my higher English personal essay, think I may give it another read tbh! Absolutely loved it! Yeah so I've just consolidated my feelings man, it's so obvious that no one but your personal fam care about you, I know in previous posts I've chatted about how much my cousins and that mean to me but tbh it's all about my sisters, they are the ones that listen to me when I'm down and genuinely care for me! The rest of them use me to get their daughters to work hard man! So annoying like look in the mirror, look at your own daughter, is she even capable man, don't get me started on them. They act all smug after the exams as though it was easy. Like what even man, anywho they will get the grade they worked for so we'll just see in August tbh, imma just do me as per! No more miss nice gal that helps others that wouldn't do the same in return man! I'm done! Fam first always xoxo 😘

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Confidence

Some may get this confused with dominating a room when you enter and for all eyes to be on that one person. the one person that looks good all the time, that seems to ooze power and control. Usually, they are fighting with their own inner insecurities. 

I see confidence as not needing confirmation from others about what to wear, how to look and that they defy all stereotyped beauty standards. They break barriers and they speak only when they have something relevant to say that may positively impact someone, not just running their mouth because they are self - obsessed. They are so kind, and considerate of others as they are thankful of the people that give them this confidence rather than taking them for granted and using them.

Confidence is key in LIFE. But, you are not born with it, you grow and adapt to the different mistakes you make in life to become the better person you are each day. There is no such thing as perfect, and most people pretend to be confident when they are usually sacred af. You just have to learn to love yourself, and express your opinion despite of others that may not agree. Stand by yourself, don't just follow, Command the room positively, not with arrogance but with a positive energy. Dont be OTT, but don't shy away. DO YOU AWAYS!

#doyoualways #loveyourself #happy thoughts #madmondays #smileitssunnah

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

Life

Hey, its me again

Just wanted to make a little post about general life and how to be happy. Like there is no point in living your life being unhappy, worried, sad, upset and moody etc. You should enjoy everyday to the fullest, because it can all be over in a second. The small things in life such as getting up with your health and wellbeing fully intact is a major issue that we forget and take for granted. Literally something that happened yesterday got me thinking. A little boy only thirteen passed away sadly. He thought he had another headache when in reality it was a brain hemorrhage. How crazy is that man? He died soon after when the doctors tried to operate on him. Inshallah he is in a peaceful place now. (may he rest happily in peace and harmony) 

So my main message is to live everyday like its a brand new one, let the past be the past. Forget yesterday, forget tomorrow, but live today. Chill out with the people you live, surround yourself with those that make you happy and that impact your life positively. Be thankful of the unlimited blessings that you receive everyday and stay grateful.

Remember, treat people the way you would wanted to be treated. You can seriously harm people with your hurtful words so make sure to think carefully before you speak and only say good things, otherwise remain quiet as its just not worth it. You don't know how that person feels inside, they may be internally hurting so badly so just be aware- words hurt, sometimes more than the physical.

Always like to finish on a happy note- so just remember:

 ‘LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO FOCUS ON THE BAD!, FOCUS ON YOU, DO YOU, LOVE YOURSELF, THEN THOSE AROUND YOU’ 

[xoxo-anxciousanum]

omggggg hahahhahahaha, this is legit my issue to a tee, don’t even know i’m doing it half the time which can get awkward when someone notices me doing it to someone or even worse them! I can’t help it, it justs gets worse. :)))))))))))

My biggest prooblem