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yayeetsonny · 2 months

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Let you down (USWNT x Young!Reader)

This one was inspired by a song by a rap artist by the name of NF. Obviously I don’t own any part of the song in anyway shape or form.

This one deals with Anxiety and Sadness and just overall not great emotions but it does have a happy ending. Also has squint and you’ll miss it Mal x reader. Mal is also younger to help fit the plot. Hope you enjoy. All mistakes are mine, Not edited.

“Feels like we're on the edge right now

I wish that I could say I'm proud

I'm sorry that I let you down

I let you down….”

“Please don't come after me

I just wanna be alone right now, I don't really wanna think at all

Go ahead, just drink it off

Both know you're gonna call tomorrow like nothing's wrong

Ain't that what you always do?

I feel like every time I talk to you

You're in an awful mood

What else can I offer you?

There's nothing left right now, I gave it all to you…”

Suddenly my earbud was ripped out of my ear cutting off the song i was listening to. “Hey! What the hell Mallory? I was listening to that!” I said angrily as I grabbed my earbud back from her and turned to walk away.

“Okay, woah, chill out dude I was just gonna ask you if you wanted to join the girls and I for lunch after practice…” She said pointing at the girl’s behind her who were watching us curiously. I sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration, mostly at myself realizing I overreacted.

“No thank you. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Shouldn’t have.” I said softly before shoving my earbud back in my ear, walking away to the other side of the field, picking up a ball on the way and absentmindedly juggling it.

“What’s her deal?” Rose asked, face scrunched in confusion.

“No idea, all i did was take the earbud out of her ear to ask if she wanted to go to lunch with us and she snapped at me. She said no, which is fine but somethings wrong, I can tell.” Mal said

“that’s not like her at all, should I try and talk to her?” Christen asked popping up out of nowhere.

“You might be the right person to do that, not totally certain she seems pretty upset about something.” Mal said shrugging slightly

“I’ll give it my best shot.”

For the second time in 5 minutes my earbud was taken out of my ear cutting off the depressing music blasting out of it.

“Okay seriously, Mal if you don’t get away from me in the next 10 seconds I swear…” I trailed off as I turned to face who I thought was Mal but turned out to be Christen. “Oh s-sorry Chris I thought you were Mal. What’s up?”

“That’s okay, although your reaction when you thought I was her is a little concerning… Everything okay? Did she do something to upset you?”

“No, no, i’m sorry. She didn’t do anything, not really anyways, I’m just irritable right now.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m just really lost in my head I guess.” I shrugged absentmindedly as I sat on the bench and changed into my slides.

“Lost in your head about what, love?” Chris asked as she moved to sit next to me, resting her hand on my knee.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid Pressy don’t worry about it.” I said, shooting up and jogging away.

“Something is definitely up with that kid. Time to gather the vets and do some gentle prodding.”

I quietly made my way onto the bus and went all the way to that back, curling up into a seat turning to face the window so my teammates knew to leave me alone. My phone dinged and I already knew I wasn’t going to like what I read.

“You think you’re some big shot now that you made it to the national team? You know it’ll only be a matter of time before you crash and burn. Come home before you embarrass me on national television.”

It was a text from my father. He’d never been the most supportive of my dreams and my current career. These last few days however he’s been more… aggressive with his words. I don’t know why or what I did but he’s been telling me I’ll only be an embarrassment to him and my step mother. That he doesn’t need his friends asking questions when I inevitably fail. His words not mine. I haven’t told the girls anything about what he’s saying because i don’t want them to do something rash, like get on a plane and fly over and beat his ass which is something they’re not above doing. I let out a quiet sigh shoving my phone in my bag before closing my eyes and attempting to sleep.

Team Veteran’s POVs//

“Okay what’s with the kid?” Alex asked staring at our youngest teammate in concern

“She’s 18, you know?” Mal said cutting into our conversation. Megan shot her a sharp look and she went back to watching ATLA (pls tell me y'all know what that acronym stands for…) eating her mandatory after practice goldfish and drinking a juice box Tobin gave her.

“Doesn’t matter she’s still the youngest on this team so by default she’s still a kid to us.”

“That’s lame.”

“Mallory…”

“What?”

“First of all, you just turned 19 like 2 seconds ago so you’re also still a kid and secondly don’t eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, it’s rude.”

“I wasn’t eavesdropping, you guys are all sitting together in front of me, it’s kind of hard not to hear what you’re saying.”

“Just put your earbuds in and pay attention to your show please.”

“Chris come on, she’s my best friend I- ”

“Mallory Diane do as I say please.”

“Okay jeeze, no need to use my government name.” She said rolling her eyes at me. I pinched the bridge of my nose and breathed in deeply to stop myself from correcting her.

“As you were saying?”

“Well she’s just acting odd, when was the last time she was like this?”

“I can’t even remember it’s been a long time.”

“What should we do?” Kelley asked reaching over into Mal’s bag of goldfish, taking a healthy handful, much to her dismay.

“Hey!” Mal slapped her hand hard enough for it to echo throughout the bus, causing everyone to look over at us in surprise, Kelley jerked her hand away, holding it like she’d been shot.

“Mallory Pugh! We do not hit people. Say you’re sorry right now.”

“Sorry Kel. I should’ve just used my words. Please don’t take my goldfish.” She said quietly.

“Thanks squirt, I accept your apology. I’m sorry too, I should’ve asked first.”

“lt’s okay, I accept your apology.”

“Good job using your words babe.” I said ruffling her hair slightly.

Once we were sure Mal was settled again we went back to our previous discussion.

“I say we just let her come to us when she’s ready, you know how she is when people push too hard.”

“I agree.”

“Usually I would agree but they way she snapped at Mal earlier tells me she’s about half a step away from either actually hitting someone or putting a hole in the wall.”

“That’s a little dramatic don’t you think?”

“When has she ever snapped at Mal, Ali?”

“Good point.”

“We still haven’t answered the question of what we’re going to do though.”

“I say we just be straight forward and honest, let her know we’re worried and that we’d like to talk to her and see if she’ll open up and tell us what’s going on.”

“Won’t that send her running for the hills?”

“Not if we don’t give her the opportunity to run.” Alex said getting a mischievous look in her eye.

“Oh no, I know that look, what do you have up your sleeve Al?”

“You’ll see” She said leaning over and whispering whatever it was she was thinking to Becky, who hummed in agreement.

After another hour we finally made it back to the hotel, got roommate assignments and got settled for the night. All the veterans on the team hung back after everyone else had left to go to bed, leaving just Alex, Tobin, Christen, Ali, Julie, Becky, Crystal, Kelley, And Alyssa in the Lobby.

“Okay Cap what’s the plan?” Tobin asked.

“The plan is we’re all going to Alex and Kelley’s room, to wait for the kid. We gave Mal a note to leave on her bed and told her to go hang out in someone else’s room so when she’s not there, she’ll have to go looking for her, and when she passes by the room we’ll grab her and lock her in with us until we get some answers about what’s going on.” Becky said, as we all huddled together and talked in hushed tones.

“So we’re kidnapping her?”

“Not kidnapping… more like, trapping out of love and concern.”

“Right… it still sounds a lot like kidnapping to me.”

“Just follow our lead.”

“Whatever you say, cap.”

We all went up to the room and waited anxiously to see if our plan would work. It only took about 10 minutes to receive our answer. A quiet knock on the door startled almost everyone in the room.

“I got it” Alex said getting up and padding over to the door.

“Hey little Lamb what’s up?” We heard her say.

“Uh… have you seen Mal anywhere?”

“No, I haven’t why?”

“It’s just we’re rooming together and she always waits for me to come up before she goes anywhere.”

“Hmm, I don’t know kid, sorry.”

“Oh okay, that’s okay, i’ll get out of your hair sorry to bother you.”

“You didn’t bother me it’s no problem.”

“Goodni-” She began to say but it was cut off when Alex quite literally grabbed her and yanked her inside, the force of which sent her stumbling forward into the room falling slightly. Alex quickly closed the door and locked it while she wasn’t looking.

“Alex, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Hey, language.”

It was then that the young striker turned to look at who said that and saw all of us sitting on the beds.

“What the…? What is this?”

“An intervention… of sorts.” Julie said quietly.

“Intervention? For what?” She said her eyes going as wide as saucers

“For why you’re acting so weird lately.” Tobin said standing up, and crossing her arms, trying to intimidate our young teammate just slightly.

“I am not acting weird.” She said defensively.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not!”

“Really? Then why did you snap at Mal and technically christen today?”

“I was just irritated.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, why do you guys care so much?”

“Because we’re supposed to look after you.” Christen said, raising an eyebrow when all she got in return was an eye roll. After a beat of silence she sighed loudly and sat down on the floor, hanging her head in defeat.

“Are you…okay?” Kelley asked as we all looked around at each other, unsure of what to say or do.

“I don’t know.” She said lifting up her head and rubbing her face tiredly. She took her phone out of her pocket, and after a moment threw it on the bed, and said “Read it”

We each took turns quietly reading the text conversation between her and her father, and after each person read it there was a noticeable shift in the room. Everyone was angry for her.

“Who talks to a child like that? Much less their own child?” Megan said beginning to pace around the room, angrily.

“I’ll kill him.”

“I’ll break his kneecaps.”

“You don’t need his approval you know that, right?”

“I just feel like I’ve let him down.” She said quietly, looking anywhere but at us.

“That’s not true. I won’t lie and say that he’s going to change his mind one day and say that what you’re doing is good enough for him but you don’t need validation from him, or anyone for that matter. All that matters is how you feel about yourself and the things that you do.” Ali said sitting down next to her and wrapping her arm around her, letting her lay her head on her shoulder.

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. I mean I know that what he said wasn’t cool, but i do still rely on him for stuff and at the end of the day I still have to go home at the end of camp.” she sighed.

“What could you possibly rely on him for?” Kelley scoffed

“Oh I don’t know, maybe, food, a roof over my head, things like that.” She said sarcastically.

“You don’t need him for that, you have us.”

“Oh right, like one of you is gonna want ME as a roommate.”

We all looked around at each other and a few of us shrugged.

“Why not? If you want, you can be me and kelley’s roomie.” Alex said smiling softly at the young striker who looked back at her with lots of skepticism.

“Or you could ask Mal if she’s looking to room with anyone.” Tobin said wiggling her eyebrows.

“You guys would really do that for me?” She asked, voice breaking just slightly.

“Of course we would kid.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s what family does.” Christen said, walking over to our youngest teammate and giving her a hand up.

“Group hug!” Tobin said as we all smushed together. The hug was brief however as we were interrupted by rapid knocking on the door.

“Okay, okay hold your horse’s I’m coming” Crystal said quickly yanking the door open, startling whoever was on the other side.

“Is Y/N here?” We heard Mal ask.

“Yeah, she is, you wanna come in?” Crystal stepped to the side to let the youngins into the room, mainly Mal, Rose, Sonnett, Trinity, Tierna, Sophia, Ashley Sanchez and Sam Mewis.

“We were wondering if-”

“Wait what’s wrong?” Sam asked, taking in Y/N’s tired and still slightly sad expression.

“Nothing Sammy, they just finished cheering me up actually.”

“Cheering you up about what? Are you okay?” Mal asked, stepping forward and wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Yeah I’m okay. My dad’s just being a little tough on me right now, that’s all.”

Ali scoffed, “I think he’s being a little more than tough on you, love. He’s being a jackass, and you don’t deserve it.”

“Wait, what did we miss? Come on, we never get to know what’s going on!” Trinity whined.

Y/N decided to show the new comers to the room, what they had missed and much like before everyone was visibly and vocally angry on behalf of our teammate all beginning to talk over one another, only stopping when Y/N loudly called out to them.

“Guys, guys, it’s okay. I don’t need you all conspiring to commit murder on my behalf, okay? It’s not necessary. I’ve already decided to take Alex and Kelley up on their offer to be their roommate.”

“Really? That’s great! We’ll get all the details sorted out before the end of camp.” Alex said wrapping her arms around her in a bear hug.

“Fine, is there anything else we can do for you then? Anything.” Mal asked.

“Movie night?”

“Anything for you.”

After everyone was changed and comfortable, everyone piled on and around the 2 beds in the room, Alex caught on to the fact that Mal and Y/N were laying together, with Y/N in between Mal’s legs, laying on her chest. She quietly nudged Julie who was the closest to them and she quickly took out her phone and snapped a picture, discreetly sending it to everyone but the 2 lovebirds.

“Awww! That’s so CUTE!” Rose said loudly, Sam quick to cover her mouth and shush her, Mal and Y/N looking at her in confusion.

“What’s so cute Rose?” Mal asked.

“Uh- nothing, nothing just a picture of Sam’s dog she just showed me.” She said nervously. Sam elbowed Rose in the ribs as she smiled sweetly at them.

“Oh yeah, just uh, it’s just a picture of Fin from the first bath he took.” She said nervously.

“Oh let me see!” Y/N said enthusiastically.

Sam quickly pulled up a picture to show her and mal and they both gushed over it quietly.

After a lot of debate and only a little bit of yelling, it was decided we would watch Monster’s inc. A Pixar classic.

While we weren’t sure how well the next few weeks would go for our youngest teammate, we all vowed to do whatever it took to show her that we would always be there for her, and that we would be the family that she had always been looking for.

THE END

This ending was awkward, and i overall don’t really like how this turned out. But hopefully it was decent.

#uswnt #uswnt imagines #writing #uswnt x reader #christen press #alex morgan #mal pugh #ali krieger

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yayeetsonny · 3 months

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One can only take so much… before they break

(Alex Morgan X OC)

Hi, yes i know i’ve been away for a very long time, but I wanted to give this writing thing another shot to see if I still had anything left in the tank. Hopefully this isn’t the most dreadful thing you’ve ever read. So sorry if it is. Please be advised this one deals with some very strong emotions and topics. Implied mental abuse, Suicidal ideation and just overall sadness and anxiety. This will be a multi parter as my fingers got away from me lol.

This one is 99% Alex x OC, although the character’s name is never dropped as I wasn’t sure if I was going to make this an x reader fic or not. If anyone has any name suggestions at the end I’m all ears. And future parts will definitely be more USWNT x OC

3.4k Words

Everything is your fault. It always is. Why can’t you do anything right?! It all fell apart because of you! You know that, and so do they. They hate you for it. Your own mother won’t even talk to you.

“Hey, kid… Kid?…Dude!” I was so lost in thought I didn’t even hear one of my teammates calling out to me.

“Huh? What?” I looked up to see Alex looking down at me worriedly.

“Are you okay little duck?” She said squatting down so she was eye level with me. She put her hand on my cheek rubbing it softly raising an eyebrow when i didn’t say anything immediately.

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” I said softly, making a poor attempt at a smile but I’m fairly certain it came across as a grimace instead. I looked down and refused to look back up even though I could feel Alex trying to get me to look at her.

“Hey… what is it?” She said moving her head so she could look into my eyes, which at this point were watering and I was doing my very best to force the tears away.

“I-It’s nothing… I-I’m fine.” I said, my voice breaking. I brought my hand up to rub my eyes and I stood up and tried to make a quick get away, but Alex wasn’t having it.

“Stop, what’s going on? What’s wrong?” She put her hands on my shoulders to try and stop me from leaving but I pushed her off and started to walk away.

“I said I’m fine, just drop it Alex. Please.” I gave up trying to stop the tears, they were freely flowing now and i let out a sob as I broke into a full sprint when I heard her starting to follow me, calling out to me. I ran passed several of our fellow national team, teammates who were watching everything unfold.

I beat her to the locker room, grabbed my stuff and made a mad dash to my car, getting in and attempting to regulate my breathing. The tears were still coming in full force, sobs racked my body as I tried and failed to calm myself down. How pathetic is this? Crying like a big baby, because your mommy made you sad? I really am weak aren’t I? No that’s not true. The girls always tell me I’m strong and that I’m their brave big girl. Yeah it’s a bit baby-ish but it gets the point across. I wrestled with my own thoughts and was so engrossed in arguing with myself that i didn’t even realize I made it back to my apartment already. I also didn’t hear my phone ringing incessantly while I drove. I hesitated a bit seeing as it was Alex, probably trying to figure out where i went. It almost went to voicemail before i decided to answer.

“Hello” my voice was raw from all the crying I did, but I sounded more tired than distraught now.

“Baby, where did you go? What happened back there? Why did you run away? Please talk to me. I’m worried about you.” She said all in one breath, I bit my lip contemplating my answer. Then i took a deep breath and decided to just bite the bullet and be at least partially truthful.

“I… um, I was going thru a-a lot during the break between camps, I mean I guess I still am going thru a lot right now, given my very apparent meltdown earlier. I-I’m sorry Alex, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t do it again, I swear.” My damn voice started breaking again as the tears started back up.

“Hey, hey, hey… little one, please breathe, you’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for. Take deep, slow breaths, in and out.” she said gently, guiding me thru some breathing exercises until my breathing was less erratic. “Can you tell me where you are please? I’m going to come get you and we’ll talk this through and maybe we can order a pizza and watch movies, what do you say?” She asked, I could tell she was trying to remain calm but I could hear her voice quiver just slightly. She was scared, and rightfully so, this isn’t the first time I’d run off and usually when i did, I became self destructive at worst and let myself rot in bed for a week at best.

“I’m at the apartment.” I said and she let out a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

“Okay good. I’m on my way, be there in 10. Stay there, please.”

I took one last deep breath before I got out of the car and made my way inside. I intended to sit on the couch and wait for her to get home but then the more i thought about having to talk to Alex about what’s been going on the more anxious i became. I started pacing and started mumbling to myself about what i was going to say and how I was going to say it. I wanted to let Alex in but I knew if I wasn’t careful I would let her in too much and I wasn’t ready for that. Being 17 and all my ability to regulate my emotions and understand them wasn’t the best as I’m sure you’ve already figured out.

10 minutes went by quickly and Alex was there before i knew it. She quickly made her way inside and dropped her bag by the door, coming up to me and taking me by the shoulders again to get me to stop pacing.

“Stop, please. You’re spiraling, what’s going on?”

“I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Like what? Is it your family? Soccer?”

“Family.” I mumbled, attempting to yank myself out of her grasp but she just wrapped her arms around my torso tightly so i couldn’t run away. “Let go Alex I can’t do this. Please let go.” I kept fighting against her hold but she wasn’t relenting, and while i would’ve denied it in the moment, I needed that.

“Shh, shh bub, just relax. I’ve got you. I’m here now it’s all gonna be okay, okay? I promise. Please just let me help you.” She said softly and I finally just allowed her to fully pull me against her chest, she relaxed her grip just slightly moving one of her hands to the back of my head, stroking my hair softly, resting her chin on the top of my head. “You’re okay, you’re safe now.” She whispered, and she continued to mumble reassurances to me as she rocked me in her arms slightly.

“Do we have to talk about this?” I mumbled.

“Yeah kid unfortunately we do. You know the rules when you decide to run away like you did earlier.” She kissed my head before picking me up with ease and moving us to the couch. She kept her hold on me and let me curl up into her lap, I tucked my head in the crook of her neck.

“I don’t want to.” I attempted to say firmly but it came out as a whine.

“Remember what I said? It’ll all be okay. I know this is scary but I’m not going anywhere and anything you tell me isn’t going to scare me away. I promise you. You’re my brave big girl, hmm?”

“I’m 17, you know?” I said in an attempt to seem tough.

“And that’s why i said you’re a big girl. But you’re still the baby on the team and little one to me.” She said chuckling softly. “You can do this.” she said after a moment rubbing my arm gently.

“I can do this.” I repeated to myself. I moved myself out of the safety of Alex’s arms slightly, putting some distance between us and turning to fully face her, steeling myself for the tough conversation ahead. I’m a very sensitive and emotional person so these conversations always make me cry no matter how much I try to stop it.

Do you want me to call the rest of the girls? Is this something they should know about too?”

“Too many people. Not ready, I think it’s better if I tell you everything first and then maybe only tell them the gist of it after.”

“Okay, then that’s what we’ll do. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. So you know how in between camps and during off season I go home to be with my family? Well I went and everything fell apart, and it’s all my fault. Just like everything always is.”

“Hey, no don’t say that.” She cut me off, she hates when i am self deprecating.

“Its true though. I fucked everything up. You know how my brother and I work at the same place right? Well and you know how my shift is closing? So I work 1-10pm? Which my mom hates.” She nodded her head as I was talking to let me know she was following along. “Well one night it was bad… The weather was horrendous because in my hometown we get a lot of snow. A-and so one of the days I worked I was one of the f-few people to show up and, when everything was all said and done there was a huge mess left behind from the disaster of a day we had….” I was beginning to become emotional just thinking about what had happened that night, and i hated that it still made me feel such strong emotions.

“It’s okay, do you want to keep going?” Alex asked me softly, stroking the back of my head softly. she knew sometimes that talking about things was hard for me and that i needed to take breaks in order to get the whole story out.

“Yes i need to. I can do it.” I said determinedly. Blinking away the tears.

“Anyways, it was a mess and being a “Back up Team lead” sometimes i made a decision to send everyone else home and clean up. And since my brother worked on overnights I called him and asked him to come help me clean up so that i could go home at a semi-reasonable time. He came over to help but when they wanted to send him back to his normal area he refused and he s-started arguing with his boss about how he was going to choose family over his job at the moment and they d-didn’t like that so they sent him home for the night, and he didn’t have a car so he called my mom to pick him up…” I stopped to catch my breath as i realize I hadn’t been breathing

“Shh, easy baby, nice, slow deep breaths, you’re doing so good.” She said. I hadn’t been looking at Alex very much this whole time but when I finally did I could see unshed tears in her eyes. I knew it was hard for her any time i was upset or emotional in a negative way. She gently wiped away the tears that made their way down my cheeks.

“My mom came to get him, and then she called me, and she was angry, she demanded I come home so I did and when I got there she told me she had a lot of opinions about what happened but she was just going to keep her mouth shut. She told me to get out of her sight so I did. She wouldn’t even look at me. Just like that I was transported back to when I was a little kid and she would get angry and she would just tell me she didn’t want to look at me. It felt like a knife to the chest. I didn’t understand what i did to upset her so much and I knew she wouldn’t tell me. All part of her “healing process.” I said bitterly.

“Fast forward to the next morning, I woke up to the news my brother had been fired. I called him to apologize and I asked him what our mom said to him and he said that she blames me for him getting fired. She said I should have known better. I knew how much he needed that job.” My hands were shaking and my breathing was ragged as I played with the strings of my hoodie.

“That wasn’t your fault, you have to know that.”

“Yes it was. It is. He hasn’t found a job since and he-he’s struggling again. You remember what happened last time he was struggling don’t you? I can’t do that again, I can’t! Everything he does, every decision he makes that’s not good is my fault. My mom wants me to be “an example” for him but he’s older! How fucking twisted is that?! Why are things never his fault?!” I yelled standing up suddenly startling Alex.

“Okay, okay let’s take a break hmm?” Alex stood up holding up her hands to show me she meant no harm.

“No! You don’t get it! Everything is my fault! My own mother thinks so! I know he’s struggling but can’t she see I’m struggling too?! ” I threw a plastic cup that was on the table across the room.

“Stop. Now. We don’t throw things when we’re upset, do you understand?” Alex said sternly.

My lip wobbled as I started crying again. “I’ve spent the last 4 years trying my very best to hold my family together through everything we’ve been thru. I got my brother the job working where i do and now I’m the reason he lost it. And now he and his girlfriend risk being homeless because she doesn’t have a job either. And if they lose their apartment they move back home with my mom, which means I’ll probably have to move back to be there with her because I can’t just leave her there by herself with them. It wouldn’t be fair. Which in turn means I’ll have to put my life on hold. The life I finally made for myself.”

I’m so tired of being emotional exhausted. I can’t keep doing this. I don’t even want to be alive anymore.”

“Woah, hold on… what do you mean by that?” Alex’s eyes widened as she processed what i said.

“I mean what I just said I don’t want to be alive anymore okay? I want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.”

The silence that followed was long and tense. I immediately regretted saying what i said. But realized i couldn’t walk it back. Alex finally took a deep breath and began speaking again.

“How long have you been feeling this way? Do you- Do you have a plan?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking as she did.

“No I don’t have a plan, I just sometimes think about how much easier it would be if I wasn’t here anymore. And sometimes I think about hurting myself but i haven’t acted on it. And i’ve been feeling this way since last year, when my mom and i got into that big blowout fight at Thanksgiving. You know she didn’t even want me moving out here? She’s never really let that fight go.” I laughed hollowly.

“Thank you for telling me, and being honest with me. I know that wasn’t easy. Why didn’t your mom want you to move out here?”

“She thinks you and the girls have too much of an influence over me. She thinks you guys are “changing” me. She threatened to force me to quit playing soccer all together.”

“What? Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“It didn’t seem relevant.”

“Didn’t seem relevant?! How’s that? If i had known that I would’ve just had you move out here permanently!”

“Alex…”

“No I’m serious! I understand you’re still 17 but you’re out of high school and you should be able to decide your own path.

“I’ve been trying, but the situation with my brother gives her more reason to say i should just quit playing.

Alex goes quietly again and I can tell she’s thinking. I can tell she’s angry. She has never really liked my mom and visa versa, their relationship is courteous at best.

“I think sometimes you forget that you’re still a kid. I know that you have had a lot put on your shoulders and that a lot is expected of you, but your brothers choices that night are not your fault and I’m sorry he’s having a hard time and he might have to move back home, which yes will be hard for your mom but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up your life for them. They will be okay. I promise you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes i do, you wanna know how I know?” She said and I nodded meekly.

“I know because your brother is strong, and so is your mom. And while i’ve never met her I’m sure his girlfriend is too. You don’t have to hold anyone else up but yourself. Not anymore. Their emotions and their… predicaments are not yours to try and fix. i don’t want you going home for a while okay? It’s clear that it’s taking a toll on you and to be frank, This is your home. Here with me, With the other girls. We have you okay? And we will never leave you. Ever.”

I turned away from her and tried to calm myself completely. I was so over all the crying and I bet you are too.

“You’re probably so sick of me crying.” I said chuckling quietly. Alex Vehemently shook her head and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my head.

“Not at all, you needed to get it out. it’s never good to hold it all in like you did, you know that.”

“I know, I just…”

“Have a hard time letting yourself be vulnerable. I know love. I know. So here’s what we’re going to do. I think writing your thoughts out might help what do you think?”

“Maybe…” i said hesitantly.

“Don’t worry no one else will read it but you. And the only way anyone will ever know anything you write down is if you tell them. And I know you going home for part of the year is to help you be able to pay your half of the rent but don’t worry about it okay? I will cover any excess we have from the missing income okay? I meant it when I said your home was here with me.”

“Alex you don’t have to-….”

“Yes i do. You’re very important to me, and I care about you and the things you need. And right now you need a bit of a break.”

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

“Anything for you kid. Now listen I also want you to really consider talking to a therapist or a mental health professional about how you’ve been feeling okay? I won’t force you but I think you might benefit from it. And please talk to me, or one of the other girls if you feel like hurting yourself. I don’t want you to think you have to go thru that alone okay?”

“Okay i will.” She’s right, it’s probably about time i go to therapy, I’m still hesitant as sharing my feelings and the things i keep inside has never been my strong suit.

“Now, how about you go take a warm shower to calm down a bit more, I’ll order some pizzas and get the girls over here?”

“I’d like that.” I smiled softly and headed upstairs to do as she suggested.

About an hour later I was showered, comfy and sitting on the couch sandwiched between Alex and Christen. A “Chrislex” sandwich if you will. Tobin was on Christen’s left, Mal, Sam, Kristie, Rose and the rest of the team were laying as close to me as they could get and spread out through out the living room. Pizza was also spread out through the room as people shared with one another. We had Moana on as the girls said I could pick and that’s my go to movie. I was so focused on the movie i almost didn’t notice my phone buzzing at my side. I looked at the text that came thru and my heart dropped as I realized who it was from… My mom.

“You need to come home.”

Is all it said. My hands instantly started shaking and I had that panicking feeling rising in my chest again. Alex looked over at me curiously and I forced the fakest smile i could muster onto my face. I’m in deep shit now…

To Be Continued…

There will be a part 2 and the rest of the team will be in that one more, promise. Please let me know what you think!

#uswnt imagines #uswnt #christen press #uswnt x reader #imagines #writing #alex morgan #uswnt x original character #alex morgan x orginal character

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