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yeolchendae · 2 months

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ALL YOU EVER NEEDED TO KNOW ABOUT BYUN BAEKHYUN’S ENLISTMENT BEFORE DISPATCH REVEALS IT!

This reads like it could’ve been his actual experience there had he never become an idol. Jongin’s character felt like the little spice on top, this is such a fun depiction of him as the one doing the geek-to-chic makeover. I couldn’t imagine another member doing it.

The entire [redacted for spoiler purposes] scene, I felt like those were dialogues Baekhyun would actually deliver. His way with words and joke delivery was spot on.

잘해떠

Lovefool II

Two Years Later

Staff Sergeant Byun Baekhyun did a last walkthrough of his barrack to ensure that everything was in order before he shipped out. He knew that his reports had left the barrack in tiptop shape, but the activity calmed him, gave him something on which to focus instead of the fact that in a few hours he would be seeing his parents for the first time in two years. “Aigoo, aigoo,” he muttered as he sat in a hard wooden chair, to log into his bank account and transfer funds from savings into checking, so that he could put down a deposit on a gositel as soon as possible.

His parents had invited him to return home, but he wasn’t about to give up his hard-won freedom. Logging into his account was the work of a moment, but as soon as she saw the balance of his checking account he was…perplexed. It was a lot higher than he expected. Clicking on activity gave him another surprise. Confused, he called the owner of the depositing account.

The phone rang once, twice, then, “Hello?”

“Hey, hyung-”

“Ah, you saw?”

“Mm. Why?”

“I don’t need it. We just received a judgement. The court ordered the purchasing company to not only honour their contracts, but to pay for both pain and suffering of its clients, as well as court costs and lawyer fees.”

“Damn…as expected, hyung is the best.”

Beomseok laughed. “You did all the legwork, I was just the pretty face. Hey, you get discharged today, right?”

“Mm.”

“After you get back to town and settle down, give hyung a call. I’ll treat you to a meal.”

“Yah…I’ll hold you to that!” Baekhyun chuckled.

Beomseok snorted. “Alright, I’m hanging up.”

The call disconnected, and Baekhyun lifted his glasses to pinch the bridge of nose as he sighed again, this time in remembrance.

Kyungsoo sat, silent and watchful as Baekhyun paced, explaining that he had received his draft letter, and was going to accept., rambling about serving his country, growing as a person, becoming a part of something bigger than himself. Finally, when he had worn himself out with unasked for explanations, Kyungsoo blinked, and looked away. His lips parted, and he appeared to be debating something. Unvoiced decision quickly made, he shot Baekhyun a perceptive look. “Who is she?”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened ever so slightly before he brought his expression back under control. “What do you mean?”

Kyungsoo sighed, tapping his fingers restlessly on the table. “Hyung. I’ve known you since I was eleven years old. The dark circles have disappeared - you’ve been sleeping. I don’t hear your stomach gurgling anymore - you’ve been eating. You’ve been smiling for no reason, and I saw you the other day when you tried to flex your bicep.”

Baekhyun spluttered, at a loss. “Tried to-”

“It was pitiful,” Kyungsoo deadpanned before softening his teasing with a gentle smile. “I’ve been here before. I know the signs.” Kyungsoo laced his fingers together on the table and leaned forward. “You were starting to,” he searched for a word, “to bloom--”

Baekhyun cringed.

Kyungsoo nodded, waving a hand and leaning back, “I know, I know, but, “ now he shook his head, “I don’t know any other way to put it. So, to go from that, to this…all of a sudden,” he lightly struck the side of his hand against the table. “Who is she?”

Baekhyun deflated, sinking into a chair opposite Kyungsoo. “Who cares?”

Kyungsoo eyed him carefully. “I want to hear about her. What happened?”

Baekhyun pouted. “It doesn’t matter now.”

Kyungsoo’s jaw hardened. “It matters when it affects my business. Now I’m not only going to have to hire someone to cover the City Hall contract, but to help me around here. So hurry up and tell me, or I’ll tell noona that you’re coming to dinner, and that you’ve had a change of heart on her cucumber kimchi.”

Baekhyun scowled. “That’s cruel and unusual.”

“Zucchini doenjang jjigae…galbi jjim, eeextra spicy…”

“Kang Iseulsshi, alright, write it down if you need to, Kang Iseul!” Baekhyun shot back.

“Alright. Tell me about Kang Iseulsshi.”

Baekhyun scuffed the toe of his boot against the ground. “She’s this…sunbae at work. I just thought…I thought that there was something there. I even heard that she was having some trouble with her grandmother’s nursing facility, and I…retained a guy I know.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up.

“A lawyer!” Baekhyun clarified. He leaned forward. “Look, she has her grandmother in this nursing home…”

***

Surprisingly, Baekhyun took well to the military. He was funny and hard-working, and the physical exertion vastly improved his appetite. Still, he wasn’t quite like the others. He was far more brains than brawn, and it was noticed.

“Private Byun, get over here.”

Baekhyun jogged over from where he had been running laps with the rest of his crew., to stop in front of an imposing, thickly-muscled middle-aged man “Yes, Drill Sergeant?”

“Keep running.”

Baekhyun ran in place, repetitively hefting his rifle over his head as he listened.

“Listen to me, four-eyes. You’re taking my daughter out on a date this Friday.”

Baekhyun managed to trip over his own feet, sprawling in the dust at his sergeant’s feet. “Eh?!”

“On your feet, soldier!”

“Yes, sir!” Huffing, Baekhyun clambered to his feet, pushing his glasses up his nose, and once more began running in place as the sergeant slowly circled.

“I don’t like the kind of guys she has been going out with. I want her to have a date with a nice boy. Are you a nice boy?”

“Yes, drill sergeant!” Baekhyun was conflicted. He still hadn’t gotten over Iseul, but he wasn’t fool enough to pine for a married woman. Still, being ordered on a date wasn’t his idea of a good time. But he wasn’t foolish enough to say no. Though this date created its own set of problems. He was a gentleman, but this was still his drill sergeant’s daughter. If Baekhyun even breathed wrong, he’d be cleaning the gravel in the driveways with his toothbrush for weeks.

“Don’t worry, bean sprout, she’s pretty.”

“Yes, sir. I mean no, sir! I mean-”

“Shut up.”

Baekhyun shut up.

“Now, you listen to me. You’re going to take her out. You’re going to show her a good time. And if a single hair of her head is damaged when she returns home…I'm taking it out on you, do you understand me?”

“Sir! Yes, sir!”

“Good. Now, get your scrawny tail back in formation. You call yourself a soldier?! I’ve never seen such a weak, sorry excuse for a man. You couldn’t save a fly from a spider!”

Baekhyun huffed indignantly as he ran to get back in line. How was the sergeant going to force him on a date with his daughter and insult him at the same time? His indignation was quickly replaced by apprehension. Oh, no. What was he supposed to do? He had never actually been on a real date before? And what if she were like her father? Baekhyun shuddered. Terrifying. What did girls like to do, anyway? He wracked his brain. Wait…girls liked…manga too, right? Maybe not the same stuff that he liked to read, but…maybe more…shōjo? And they liked cute animals too, right? Maybe a manga cafe? Was there such a thing as a manga cat cafe?

“Private Byun, get your head in the game!”

“Sir! Yes, sir!” Baekhyun tried to focus on running and…lifting his rifle, but it wasn’t exactly a mentally challenging pursuit…

***Unfortunately, when Baekhyun had asked his drill sergeant for his daughter’s number, so that he could get to know her a bit before the date, he only earned a glare so cold that three days later, he was still unsure how he was not dead. Because of this, as he walked up to his sergeant’s house, he still had no idea of what this girl--Cha Sujin--even liked. He had done his best to curate a decent date, but due to a private being caught watching…adult activities on his phone, when he should have been cleaning, all phones and laptops had been confiscated for two weeks as punishment. So, he guessed that having her number would have been a moot point anyway, really.

Baekhyun rang the bell and waited. After a moment, Drill Sergeant Cha opened the door and Baekhyun began to sweat. But the man just looked him over with a disgruntled air, grunted, and stepped aside to reveal one of the most adorably tiny women that Baekhyun had ever seen. She barely came to his armpit. Her style couldn’t strictly be called Lolita, but it came as close as it could without crossing the line into cartoonish. She wore a high ponytail tied by a bow, and an outfit entirely done in various shades of beige, and soft pink. A modest, high-necked, long puffy-sleeved lace blouse was tucked into a high-waisted A-line skirt that stopped just below her knees, and tights, and leather mary janes completed the look, but then…

But then, there was her purse. Black, leather, and sturdy, it was huge, it looked almost more like luggage than a pocketbook. Mary…Poppins…? he thought. Still, she was altogether demure, and lovely, so much so, that his interest piqued, just a little. “Hello,” he said with a bow.

“Hello,” she echoed charmingly, bowing back. Her voice was just as sweet as her face.

“My name is Byun Baekhyun.”

“Ah, yes, appa told me. I’m Cha Sujin.”

Her voice sounded so soft that Baekhyun had to suppress a pleased grin.

Meanwhile, Drill Sergeant Cha looked him over.

Noticing that, Baekhyun straightened, but it seemed as if his buff trousers, tan argyle sweater-vest, and burgundy dress shirt passed muster.

“I can see my face in your wing-tips,” Sergeant Cha said approvingly, before looking up at Baekhyun to do what he did best. Glare. “Now, you have my baby home by 10 PM. If she is even one single minute late, I will make your life a living torment, got that?”

Baekhyun swallowed nervously. “Yes, sir,” he said, with a stiff little bow.

“Bye, appa,” Sujin said with a kiss on her father’s cheek.

“Bye, baby,” Sergeant Cha responded, his voice so sweet that Baekhyun’s face froze. So, he could make those kinds of sounds… Then his gaze moved back to Baekhyun, and he narrowed his eyes, and Baekhyun quickly turned his attention to offering his arm to Sujin to help her down the single shallow step to the stone walkway. A light cloud of jasmine wafted toward him as she drew close, and his stomach flipped.

As they reached the sidewalk, Sujin looked around. “Where are you parked?”

“Oh, uh…I…don’t have a car…”

She blinked at him, and for a moment, her expression was eerily familiar.

“I…figured that we could take the train into town. It’ll be,” he swallowed nervously, “quaint.”

Sujin stared at him blankly, before giving him the smallest of smiles. “Alright.”

The relatively short walk to the train station was painfully silent. Baekhyun wracked his brain to think of something, anything that he could discuss, but kept coming up short. Finally, he fell back onto something obvious. “So…you like Lolita style?”

“What? No.” Her voice sounded confused. “Why…?”

“I just thought…your style…the bows and lace…”

“Oh. No.” Her tone brooked no further conversation.

Upon arrival at the station, they waited on the platform in silence. The train arrived after too long, and Baekhyun guided her to a seat, generously giving her the window seat while he sat in the aisle, a buffer between her and the rest of the passengers. But then, maybe that had been a bad idea, as she spent the duration of the ride looking out of the window at the countryside, not even sparing Baekhyun a single backwards glance.

It was only when they had almost reached the city, that she turned to smile at him.

He practically melted under the warmth.

“I…have to use the bathroom,” she said quietly.

“Oh! Okay.” He stood, allowing her to pass, sliding into her abandoned seat to watch the scenery roll by.

She took a long time. So long that as the countryside turned into a cityscape, Baekhyun grimaced. She must have an upset stomach. He was no stranger to tummy troubles himself, though they had lessened since he joined the army. He wished that he had brought some medicine, but then again, maybe it would be ungentlemanly to indicate that he had “noticed”. He just hoped that she wasn’t so sick that they’d have to turn back around. He could only imagine what Drill Sergeant would have to say to that. Just then, he felt a body plop down next to his, and he turned, smiling to welcome her back.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t her, but another woman, casually leaning back in the seat, tousled hair waving down her back, one foot flat against the back of the seat in front of her. She was pretty, and Baekhyun felt bad that he was going to have to tell her that the seat was taken, since he knew how embarrassing that would be. “Excuse me, agasshi,” he said gently. “I’m sorry, but this seat’s taken. My date’s in the bathroom, but she’ll be back any minute.”

The woman turned her head to look at him, a blank expression on her face. She was lovely, in a fierce way, with heavily smoked eyeliner, her mouth painted scarlet. She wore a half-unbuttoned plaid shirt over a black tank top, black leather pants tucked into black leather motorcycle boots. “Yah. Are you an idiot?”

Baekhyun bristled. “Your words are a little short, don’t you think? I don’t know you.”

She laughed at that, her husky voice full and throaty. Turning full-bodied toward him, she said in a sweet, polite voice. “Byun Baekhyunsshi…tschhh…you don’t recognize your date?”

His jaw dropped. As he gave her a once-over, he searched for clues, but it wasn’t until she leaned forward, and he scented her perfume that he began to recognize her. “Cha…Sujinsshi?”

“Let’s drop our speech, shall we? You don’t mind, do you Baekhyun?”

He blinked in shock.

“Ah, that’s right, you are older. Shall I call you oppa?”

Baekhyun’s throat felt locked. He felt like he could only express words by the morse code of his fluttering lashes.

“Wait…you’re not upset that I don’t actually dress like that, are you?”

He finally found his voice. “No! No… This is all just a bit…surprising.”

“Yeah, well, we’re both full of surprises, I’m sure.”

***

As they walked to the cafe that Baekhyun had hastily searched before his phone was confiscated, he wracked his mind for conversation topics. “So…what do you like to do for fun?”

“Mm…race my bike.”

“Ah. That sounds…healthy.”

She glanced up at him sideways. “It’s a motorcycle.”

“You have a motorcycle?!”

“Of course! Don’t tell appa. He’d have a fit.”

“Okay, so,” Baekhyun rapidly blinked, looking around wildly, as he tried to gather his thoughts. “So…you race? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Aren’t you in the army?”

‘Only because I have to be.”

“Fair point. But we’re all going to die, anyway.”

“That's true, I suppose.”

“How do you want to die?”

“Not killed by your father,” he muttered.

“Don’t worry, I’ll play nice. I’m not going to run off, or anything. He’d break you like a twig, and then I’d feel bad. So, how do you?”

“Old. In my bed. Surrounded by fat great-grandchildren.”

“Great-grandchildren. Ambitious. What do you like to do?”

“I read mostly.”

“What do you read?”

“Manga.”

“Oh, I don’t know anything about that.”

His heart dropped. “No?”

“No, I’m not really into that weeb stuff.”

“I’m more of an otaku,” he muttered.

She stared at him blankly.

Baekhyun waited a bit, and then inwardly sighed. This conversation was like pulling teeth. “What do you like to read?”

“The classics, mostly. Samguk Yusa, Samguk Sagi, The Memoirs of Lady Hyegyong, Sonagi…that sort of thing. I read The Cloud Dream of the Nine, but it was bullshit.”

Baekhyun’s gasp was so sudden that he inhaled a little bit of saliva, and broke down into a coughing fit.

“Yah, are you alright?” She beat on his back as he doubled over, then took a bottle from her purse. “Here, drink.”

Grateful, Baekhyun removed the cap and took a few long swallows before his taste buds kicked in, and he sputtered all over the sidewalk. “This…isn’t water.”

“No, it’s soju,” she said negligently. “I don’t drink much, to be honest, but you never know what you’re going to get into. At his shocked expression, she patted him on the chest. “Don’t look so horrified. At least it wasn’t the one filled with vodka.”

Before he could delve too deeply into that, he saw that they had reached their destination. Inhaling deeply, putting on his best gentleman’s expression, he opened the door, and ushered her in. “Please,” he said, trying his best not to grit his teeth, “after you.”

She walked ahead, and he took the brief respite to stretch his shoulders, roll his neck from one side to the other, then down, to relieve tension.

“Welcome to Kawaii Maid Cafe! Two?”

Baekhyun froze. Then slowly, painfully raised his head.

A woman in a brightly coloured maid uniform topped with two lifelike-furry cat ears smiled energetically at them. “Please follow me!”

He could feel Sujin’s eyes burning a hole in the side of his face, but he dared not return the look. After they had been placed at a table, he looked at the floor, the walls, the ceiling, anywhere but at his date. Unfortunately, his perusal did little to quell his embarrassment, as, everywhere he looked was covered in somewhat questionable catgirl art. He chuckled disbelievingly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can explain-”

“You thought that it was a cat cafe.”

That brought him up short. “How did you…”

“You seem to be a pretty clueless oppa, but you’re not giving asshole.”

“Ah. Well. Thank you?”

Sujin leaned forward. “Look, did appa tell you why he’s making you take me out on a date?”

“No…” Baekhyun felt as if he were walking through a minefield.

“Well, you’re not exactly my type, but…he doesn’t like my type, so… He wants me to date someone nice. Sweet. Milquetoasty.”

Baekhyun was offended. “I’m not milquetoasty.”

“Sure, sure. But what I'm saying is…I like guys a bit…you know.”

The waitress came up then, smiling beatifically. “Hello! How may I serve you today?”

Baekhyun groaned internally, but outwardly just nodded. “Please order whatever you want.”

“I’ll just have an espresso, thank you.”

“You don’t want anything to eat?”

“Eh…” Sujin looked over the menu. “And a plain croissant.”

“Excellent. And you, sir?”

“A strawberry cinnamon roll, and strawberry milk, please.”

“Very good.” She took the menus and with that, she was gone.

“You have a sweet tooth,” Sujin commented.

Baekhyun flushed. “Before the military, I ran a bakery with a friend. He taught me how to make pastries and well…I try to monitor the trends.”

“A baker,” she said dryly. “Cool.”

His flush deepened, but tried to push ahead. “So. What do you do?”

“I’m a student.”

“What are you studying?”

“Philosophy.”

“What do you want to do with that?”

“I don’t really like thinking about the future that much.”

“Understandable,” he murmured.

“So…what do you like about…” she made a moue of polite insincerity, “Baking?”

Baekhyun negligently shrugged, not wanting to open up about how Kyungsoo originally taught him how to bake to help him manage his anxiety. “It’s calming.”

“Did you ever go to school?”

“I did.”

“What did you study?”

They were briefly interrupted by the waitress with their order.

“Thank you,” Baekhyun said softly as she put it down, smiled at them, and left. He leaned forward, readjusting himself in the seat, feeling a bit restless. “Law.”

“Ugh, no wonder appa wanted you for me. Gross.”

His eyebrows raised as he looked down to stir his drink. “Law is gross?” he asked mildly.

“Not law itself. It’s just that lawyers aren’t…”

“Aren’t your type,” he finished politely.

She leaned back in her seat with an insouciant grin. “You get it.”

“So…what is your type?”

“I like big bad boys. Preferably foreign. There’s this one guy I like from Guangzhou. Tall, rich, handsome, drives fast, and lives even faster. You’re just so…so…nebbish.”

“Nebbish?”

“It’s Yiddish. It means-”

“Milquetoasty?”

“Milquetoasty. I mean, look at you. The argyle, the glasses, the…you. The whole package. It’s not exactly giving Romeo.”

Baekhyun chuckled softly, stirring his milk with the straw. “You give very little sweet with your words.”

“What can I say? I’m brutally honest.”

“I think,” he started slowly, “That people who say that they are ‘brutally honest’ are often more into the brutality than the honesty.”

“Yah, I’m trying to help you. Word around base is that you don’t date much. Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

“I have.”

Sujin’s grin was lopsided. “Let me guess--online?”

He could feel the heat practically glowing from his face. “And? So?”

“And…she broke up before you could meet?”

Baekhyun tapped his fingertips against the side of his cup, before taking a sip. “You ask…a lot of questions.”

Her smile faltered. She looked out of the window briefly before reorienting on him. “So, what’s on the menu for the rest of this date?”

“The rest? I…am going to finish this delicious, sweet strawberry milk, and then I…am going to take you home. Would you like to change in the cafe’s bathroom, or in the train’s bathroom again? Here is probably roomier, but it’s all the same to me.”

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “You’re taking me back home?”

“Mm. I am.”

“But, we’re supposed to spend the day together.”

He tilted his head. “Why would we do that?”

“Because…because…” she seemed at a loss. “Because we’re on a date. My appa-”

“Will probably be displeased. Well. He can kill me, but he can’t eat me.”

She stared at him.

Just then the waitress returned. “Hello! Is there anything else that I can bring?”

“The check, please,” Baekhyun said politely. He stabbed a strawberry from the cinnamon roll with a fork, and popped it into his mouth. “Wait, on second thought. The check, and an order of milk toast. To go.”

***

To say that Cha Drill Sergeant looked surprised when Baekhyun returned his daughter would be an understatement. Once more dressed in ribbons and bows, she flounced past him into the house without so much as a goodbye to Baekhyun.

Cha Drill Sergeant fixed his gaze on him. “What happened?”

“We…didn’t get on,” Baekhyun said politely.

He grunted. “That’s a shame. Am I going to have to kill you?”

“I don’t think so,” Baekhyun reasoned. “But you would have to ask her.”

“I’m sure that I’ll hear about it, soon enough. Go home, private. I might kill you tomorrow.”

“I look forward to it, sir.”

***

Baekhyun was envious.

He watched as the other privates--as usual led by Kai--came laughing into the barracks with stories of girls they had met, and numbers obtained. Many of the guys talked about the ladies with whom they had chatted and flirted, but Kai was king.

He wasn’t a heartbreaker. No, he liked girls, and they liked him. He liked to be around them, to talk to them, to listen. And the most frustrating thing was that he had the charm to flirt endlessly with all of them without making a single one feel jealous.

Baekhyun shifted on his bed, lifting his manga higher, trying to tune out the exuberant voices of the other privates. Still…he felt wistful. Female attention seemed to come so easily to Kai, and while he was not a playboy, he did enjoy reposing in the attention of a “garden of flowers”. Baekhyun didn’t want to be lavished in general female attention. He just wanted one.

His mind turned to that disastrous “date”, and he sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, she had made some points. He had next to no experience with women. Logically, he knew that he had a good face. Also, he always strove to be gentlemanly, so he didn’t think that it was his manners that turned them off. Still, there had to be something that he was doing wrong that he just couldn’t see…

He thought about Kai. Kai was handsome. But he wasn’t so much less handsome than Kai. So, what if…what if he were to…ask…for some…advice?

***

“First lesson. Smile.”

“What? I smile.”

Kai merely raised an eyebrow. “Do you ever smile at girls?”

“Of course I do.”

“Let me see it.”

Baekhyun smiled.

“You look constipated.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Well it’s hard to smile at you like I smile at girls!”

Kai chuckled. “Alright, alright. Close your eyes. Imagine a particular girl you like. She’s right in front of you, and you’re trying to pique her interest--convince her to go out with you.”

Baekhyun closed his eyes. Involuntarily Kang Iseul came to mind. He frowned, then immediately straightened his face before Kai could comment. Okay, no, she was married, he couldn’t think of her like that. Although…he considered his options. Maybe just this once. Just for this exercise. He respected her; he wasn’t going to let his thoughts stray too far from the straight and narrow. He once more conjured an image of Kang Iseul, looking shyly up at him as he held her on the stairs. Not thinking, he tilted his head, opened his eyes, and smiled.

“Ohhh,” Kai said, waving a hand as if it were hot. “Well done! You can’t tell me that you’ve never gotten a girl interested if you smiled at her like that.”

Baekhyun just shrugged.

Kai grimaced. “You’re right, it takes more than just a smile. Girls are…girls are like us. They have active imaginations--you just have to get them thinking about you…romantically. You can do this by getting close, but you have to…you have to pay attention to their body language, and tone to make sure that you have an invitation. Otherwise, you just end up looking like a creep.”

“Well…how do you know that you have an invitation?”

“You just know.”

“But how do you know?”

“You just know.”

Baekhyun ground his teeth.

“Okay, look, man, alright, ugh. Just look.” Suddenly, Kai’s eyes swept down, before looking back up at Baekhyun shyly. He smiled a bit, as if he had been caught, looked away, and then back, his eyelashes fluttering slightly, as if flustered. A bit of colour tinged his cheeks.

Baekhyun stared. “I like girls.”

Instantly, Kai gritted his teeth, and viciously punched Baekhyun on the shoulder, his fist punctuating every word. “Stop being difficult. Now, once you have an invitation, you find excuses to get into her personal space, but don’t touch her. You have to leave her wanting to touch you. Thinking about you touching her. So, lean against a wall, or a doorway. Rest your hand on the wall above her head. Excuse yourself as you reach beside her to get something, but keep your body facing hers, so for one brief moment, she isn’t sure if you’re going to reach past her, or hold her. It’s on you to make the first move, but only--and this is important--only after she has given you the invitation. It will not be verbal. You’ll have to pay attention.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun nodded. “I can do that.”

“Meanwhile, do something about this.” Kai briefly gestured to Baekhyun overall.

“What?”

“This,” he repeated, flicking Baekhyun’s chest with the backs of his fingers. “You look like a bean sprout. Girls like to feel protected. She doesn’t want to feel like she has to protect you.”

“I’m stronger than I look.”

Kai looked him up and down. “No, you’re not; I've seen your push-ups. You’ve put on a little muscle since you came, but…” he cocked his head. “You still look like you wouldn’t survive the winter.”

“I don’t look that frail.”

“You look like one of those western Victorian orphans. You look like if you turned sideways, you could slip into a storm grate. You look like a branch in winter. You look like a hungry ghost. You look like-”

“Alright, damn, I get it. Alright. Get swole. Got it.”

Kai snorted. “Then…” he looked off into the distance while thinking. “Okay, say you’ve got a girl who seems interested. You have to…kind of set the mood.”

“...okay?”

“You’re already cute, so you don’t have to worry about that...”

“I like girls.”

Kai raised a hand as if he were going to hit Baekhyun again. “Do you want my help or not?”

“Okay, I’m sorry; go on.”

“Anyway-” he cut a look at Baekhyun, as if daring him to interrupt.

Baekhyun merely raised his hands, smiling beatifically.

“It’s true that girls like cute guys, and fun guys…but you have to be careful because if you’re just cute and fun all of the time, then they won’t see you as a man. So, you have to set the mood.”

“How?”

“This is easier at night, or when the two of you are alone. Or…mmm…maybe if you can separate her from everyone else, make it seem as if it’s you against the others. You just…talk to her like she’s the only one who understands…the only one who gets it. Don’t be fake--girls can smell that a mile away--but try to find a connection, and then deepen it. The topic doesn’t even have to be romantic…just something on which the two of you agree. Ask her questions, and listen to her answers. Don’t just wait to respond. Remember what she says, bring it up in later conversations to show her that her thoughts and opinions are important to you. Take her somewhere nice…romantic…pretty, and just talk. Don’t…talk with the goal of trying to get her, just…get to know her. Really, a date is just a job interview for both of you. Be honest. Don’t lie to try to get her to like you. You can lie your way to having the prettiest girl in the world, but you won’t keep her. And either you’ll make her miserable, or she’ll drive you crazy. Don’t fixate on one girl. Talk to her, see if she’s the one. And if she’s not, just show her a good time, and let her down gently. Maybe you’ll become friends. Girl friends are really the best at giving advice about other girls.”

“Do you have a lot of girl friends?”

“I have a close group of friends, guys and girls. But I was raised with sisters.”

“Ahhh…” Understanding dawned. “So that’s why you’re so good with girls.”

Kai shrugged. “You just have to treat them like people. Don’t put them on a pedestal, but don’t lie to them to get what you want.”

“No, that’s not me.”

“Good. I’m telling you these things because I think that you’re a good guy. If I thought that you would use my advice to trick a girl--”

“I would never!”

Kai looked at him searchingly, then nodded. “Alright. I believe you. Anyway, to set the mood, you have to flirt with her.”

Baekhyun fidgeted. “Flirt.”

“You…do know how to flirt, don’t you?”

“Not…exactly…”

Kai tilted his head, eyed Baekhyun thoughtfully. “I bet you do, and you just don’t know it. But, if you’re unsure, just…I don’t know, look up what dramas are most popular with girls nowadays, and observe the male leads. But none of that tsundere, cold city man bullshit. You pull that, you’ll deserve a kick in the nuts.”

Baekhyun surreptitiously covered his bits.

“Alright, let’s move on.” He looked Baekhyun up and down and raised a thoughtful eyebrow. “What kind of cologne do you wear?”

“Cologne?”

Letting his head drop back as he turned away, Kai moaned in despair.

“What?!”

“Do you mean you try to talk to girls smelling like cheap soap?”

“Hey!”

“Hyung, scent is the sense that inspires memory the most. You want her to think about you, even when you’re not there. Girls love a guy who smells good; it’s primal.”

“I smell good. I stay clean. I use baby powder, and fabric softener.”

“Okay, but those scents don’t exactly inspire attraction.”

“So…what does?”

Kai looked rueful. “That…depends on the girl that you’re trying to attract.”

Baekhyun looked at him deadpan.

He raised his hands, “I know, I know. In the meantime, just find a nice, light scent that you like. If you get lucky, she’ll like it, too.” He grinned, slow, and wicked. “If you get really lucky, she’ll start to like it just because she associates it with you.”

Baekhyun blushed.

“Just, whatever it is, make sure that it’s not too strong. You don’t want your scent walking into the room three steps before you do. What kind of scents do you like best?”

Baekhyun thought about it. “Soft ones. Warm, clean ones.”

Kai nodded. “That’s a good place to start. Leave the heavy stuff to the ajusshis. And don’t put on a lot. Just enough that she can smell it when you draw close.” He smiled again, slowly. “It’s more intimate that way… One spritz on the neck, one on each wrist, done. Now…your clothes…”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

Kai looked pained. “What isn’t wrong with your clothes? You look like a church oppa.”

“I am a church oppa,” Baekhyun protested.

“That’s good…but remember, girls like…a little bit of a bad guy. Not a real bad guy, but juuuust a little bit. For flavour. They like to be able to trick themselves into thinking that they’re in danger, but like…safe danger. If you’re a little mysterious, they’ll want to know more.”

“Well, I don’t always dress like that. You haven’t seen my normal clothes.”

“Yes, I have.”

Baekhyun looked up at him, perplexed. “...How…?”

“Searched your social media. Wanted to make sure that you weren’t a creep. LIke I said, I like girls. I’m not trying to give a bad guy all the secrets to break a girl’s heart.”

“So, then…what’s wrong with my clothes?”

“You looked like a kpop idol doing a dark concept. You looked like the male lead from a 90s anime. You looked like an 80s glam rock star. You looked like--”

“Please stop roasting me.”

Kai looked a bit chagrined, but just a bit. “I’m sorry, you just make it so easy.”

“Anyway, girls like kpop stars.”

“For most girls…what they like to see on stage is different from what they want to date in real life.”

“Well, I think that it looks cool.”

“Cool. Are you going to date yourself?”

Baekhyun scowled at him.

“Look, maybe you’ll meet the girl who likes that, too. But sometimes you have to get to know someone first and become more comfortable with them. Doing certain things from the start can be a bit much. Or you could just…find girls who dress like that, too. Have you met any in real life?”

Baekhyun felt morose. “No.”

“Well, there you go. Listen, the right girl will fall for you, and then she’ll probably not care so much about things like that, or maybe she’ll turn out to be into it, but…dating is a-”

“Job interview,” Baekhyun morosely intoned.

“-job interview.,” Kai affirmed. “So put your most socially acceptable foot forward. Speaking of which, let’s talk about shoes.”

Baekhyun groaned.

***

The sharp swish of patrol vehicles' tires on pavement wet from a soft, misting night rain echoed in Baekhyun’s ears as he walked the mostly empty base, one dark Saturday. He couldn’t sleep, though this was not a leftover from his self-destructive days, but more due to the fact that he had a lot on his mind. He would be the first to admit that he had a tendency to overthink things, to turn a situation over and over in his mind, polishing it with his thoughts like waves with a bit of sea glass.

As much as he hated to admit it, as much as he resented the removal of his day-to-day freedom, the structure of the military was beneficial to him. Overworked during the day, he had no choice but to eat, and eat well, and sleep (and sleep well), whenever the opportunity presented (for the most part). When he looked back on where he was when he had started, and saw how far he had come, he had to begrudgingly admit that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. And, if he really examined this train of thought--as much as he hated to acknowledge it--a small part of him had been doing it not only to destroy the most crucial piece of his parent’s legacy, but also as a cry for tenderness.

Tenderness. Real, nurturing, sweet, loving care. He had been working with Kai for a while now. Going out on nights off to practice with girls. And…it was working. Kai liked to go to all sorts of places, but the rest of their unit preferred the clubs.

Baekhyun did not.

The music was too loud, the scent of alcohol too strong. When he saw the girls stumbling about that made the other soldier’s eyes light up, all he wanted to do was tuck them into bed with some water and a cookie for the morning. True, not all of the girls were like that, not even the majority, but there were enough to make him uncomfortable. There had been no few times that he had to tell one of his fellow soldiers to stand down.

Rarely…but sometimes…there were women who offered a soft night. Baekhyun was tempted, he was. Awfully tempted. Terribly tempted. Almost unbearably tempted. But as soon as he realized that one night was all that these women were offering…he had to say no. He hated it; it felt like it was killing him, but he knew… He knew that if he gave in, if he spent a night in softness and sweetness, only to be expected to leave in the morning and never return…

It would break his heart.

So he turned them down (regretfully), and went back to base alone (full of self recriminations), and wondered why he wasn’t good enough to keep.

He pondered these things as he walked, arms crossed, and shoulders hunched against the chill damp, turning the same thoughts over and over in his mind, probing their edges like a sore tooth, attacking wherever he tasted blood.

Ever so often, he would look up, take a cursory glance of the landscape in order to orient himself in his surroundings, check for any issues that needed to be addressing. That was another thing the military had taught him. Constant vigilance. How to be a brick in the wall. The responsibility of perpetual awareness in order to protect both himself, as well as others.

He glanced up, looked around, mentally noted that everything was in order, then refocused on the ground. Something clicked in his brain, and he paused. Looked up again, this time scanning the area more carefully. Something had caught his attention, but his initial glance had been too quick to determine what. This second time around, he saw it. A dark, moving shape that was unusually high on top of the bridge over the river.

What was that?

The movement was so subtle that he could have easily missed it, if it weren’t for the something of it. The thereness where there should be no there. He narrowed his eyes, tried to focus in the strengthening rain. The thing moved.

A person.

He was almost sure of it. Not that he could discern any human features or form, but the movement of it, the familiarity. He tilted his head, momentarily confused as to why a person would be standing on the handrail of a bridge. It was so unsafe.

His brain caught up with him, and he started. Impelled forward, Baekhyun broke into a light trot, keeping his eyes on the figure that grew clearer as he drew closer. Stealthily, he crept up the bridge, crouching slightly so as not to be noticed until he was ready. When he deemed himself close enough to be able to talk normally (as he doubted yelling at the figure would produce any sort of positive outcome), yet far away enough to keep from alarming them, he paused.

He had no idea what to say.

Baekhyun wasn’t stupid. There was probably only one reason someone--a man, a fellow soldier--would be standing on the railing of a bridge at night, in the rain. But his body had acted before his mind, and now that he was there, he realized…

He had no idea what to say.

Yet say something, he must. He couldn’t just let… He couldn’t watch…

He couldn’t.

He had to say something.

Slipping his hands into his pockets, Baekhyun took a deep breath, then slowly, carefully let it out, and with it, all of his anxiety. He smiled, made his voice light, and pleasant. “Hello.”

The soldier jumped, and Baekhyun’s stomach with him. He turned slightly to order a shaky, “Stay back!”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Okay.”

When Baekhyun didn’t move, the soldier grew bolder. “Go away!”

Baekhyun shook his head. “I can’t do that. What’s your name?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.”

“Why do you care?”

“I’m very curious. My name is Byun Baekhyun. I’m from Inje City. I’m an only child, but I always wanted to have little siblings. Do you…have any brothers or sisters?”

At first the man didn’t answer. But then, almost grudgingly. “I have a little sister.”

Baekhyun nodded. “What’s that like?”

“She’s annoying!”

“Oh? How old is she?”

“Fifteen. Sixteen…she just--she turned sixteen. Last week.”

“Ah. A difficult age. I bet she gives you a hard time.”

The man was silent for a moment, but then, quietly. “No.”

“No?”

“No,” the man said more firmly.

“That’s a relief. What’s her name?”

“Kim Hangah.”

“Kim Hangah,” Baekhyun echoed. “That’s a pretty name. What’s your name?”

The man sighed, as if annoyed, but answered. “Kim Hanjae.” He turned slightly. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

Baekhyun kicked a toe against the asphalt of the bridge. “I’m bored. You’re the only one around to talk to, so. You’ll have to indulge me. How old are you, Kim Hanjaesshi?

“I’m 20.”

“Ah. I’m 27.”

“Congratulations for being old.”

Baekhyun struck his hand over his chest, above his heart, and laughed. “Ouch. So…if I’m so old…why don’t you tell this harabeoji what’s going on?”

Hanjae rolled his eyes. “Go away.”

“Oh, I’d like to, believe me,” Baekhyun said before reaching down to rub his knees. “Aigoo, aigoo, but see…this rain has got my knees locking up… And my back…” he moved a hand to the base of his spine and winced. “Aish, this weather.”

Almost against his will, Hanjae smiled, but immediately quashed it. “You’re annoying.”

“As annoying as your little sister? I’ll take that as a compliment. Since I can tell that you love her.”

“Yeah, well…whatever.”

Baekhyun looked off into the gently rolling waves. “I bet she’s pretty.”

“No, she’s not, she’s ugly.”

“Those girls are the best!” Baekhyun protested. “They start out ugly, and then, wham, they turn pretty overnight. Sixteen? Give it another year or two, and I bet that she’ll have a trail of admirers.”

Hanjae squared his shoulders, stretching his neck this way and that.

Baekhyun watched him, and continued. “But I’m sure that she’s a good girl. She’ll be fine. You probably don’t have to worry about her.”

Hanjae’s nostrils flared slightly. “Yeah. She’ll be fine.”

“After all, I’m sure that your omoni will keep a close eye on her. And your abeoji…”

“Abeoji’s dead.”

Baekhyun fell silent at that. Then swore internally. He hated himself for it, but pressed on, anyway. “Aigoo, no abeoji…no oppa…” Then, he shrugged. “I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

Hanjae shook his head. “You don’t understand.”

Baekhyun casually scratched his eyebrow. “What don’t I understand?”

“You think that I’m being selfish.”

Baekhyun laughed. “I’m very pretty. I rarely have thoughts.”

Hanjae looked over at him, as if horrified by his vanity.

Baekhyun merely smiled.

The man looked back down at the water. “You don’t care.”

“I’ll always care about someone almost as handsome as myself.”

Hanjae snorted. “I look better than you.”

“You wish.”

Hanjae chuckled, then went silent.

Long moments passed, but sensing a shift in Hanjae’s mood, Baekhyun said nothing.

Then, quietly, Hanjae spoke. “She’s gone.”

“Who’s gone?” Baekhyun said gently.

“Choi Micha. My…girlfriend…”

“What happened?”

“One day she was here, and then…and then…she…” he lowered his head. His voice grew quiet. “She was hit by a car…on the way to visit me.”

Baekhyun sucked in a breath.

The man lifted tearful eyes to Baekhyun’s face. “It’s my fault. I was…so lonely here. My family…we don’t have much money, and I couldn’t afford to go see her, so I begged her to come see me. But she…but she…”

“I understand,” Baekhyun interrupted, noting Hanjae’s difficulty.

“So, now I have to go to her. I have to apologize. I have to beg for her forgiveness.”

Baekhyun thought for a moment. “Tell me about her.”

Hanjae sighed. “She’s…she was…perfect. I’ve been in love with her…since I was 12 years old. We’ve been together…we…were together…for four years… She’s so…bright. Bright and shining like the sun. So happy…sweet. Sweet and soft. Gentle…helpful…thoughtful… Loving, caring… And not just to me! To everyone! Everyone loves her…. Loved…her…”

“She loved you?”

Tears welled up in his eyes. “She said it all the time. She said it so sweetly. She would look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes, and I-” his voice cut off on a sob.

Baekhyun bit his lip. What he wanted to do was risky. And probably the wrong move. But it wasn’t like he had been trained in this. So, he steeled himself, and moved forward. “I don’t think that you loved her.” Hanjae whipped around so fast that Baekhyun was afraid that he’d slip and fall right then.

“What did you say?” his voice was a hiss.

“How could you say that you love her, if she loved you so much, and you’re about to just…throw away what she loved so dearly? If she were alive, would she tell you to jump?”

Hanjae looked torn. Torn between fury, pain, anger. “You’re twisting this all up!”

“Am I? I just…I don’t know… How you described her…doesn’t sound like someone who would want you to do this. So, you have to ask yourself… Are you doing this for her? Or for you? Would she want you to leave your little sister alone? Your mother? Would she want your mother to have to come identify your cold, dead body? How would she feel if she knew that you died? You think that she’d be happy?”

The man was shaking now, trembling with the useless effort of trying to hold back tears. “I…just…I miss her so much!”

Baekhyun gentled his voice once more, took a step forward. “I can’t…imagine what you’re going through. But the girl that you’ve described…would she want this?”

Hanjae looked agonized, but he shook his head. “But how can I…how can I live when I know that it’s my fault?!”

Baekhyun sighed. “That’s your punishment. That’s your burden. You’re going to have to endure that. Live, and heal, and love, and cry, and live some more until when you’re finally ready…when you’re old and you have…a whole life behind you of love and happiness…you can take that to her.” He took another step. “That will be your gift to her. A life well lived. A life full of love that you can lay at her feet. Your love…your precious love…would she rather see you crying, or smiling?” He took a final step, placed his hand lightly on the railing, lowered his voice to a whisper. “Wouldn’t it be better to come to her with a heart full of love?”

Hanjae said nothing, just stood there panting, eyes squeezed shut, pain writ on every line of his face.

Baekhyun lifted a hand. “Come down, now. Come talk to hyung. Tell me about her. Tell me everything about her, everything that you can remember. That’s how you keep her alive. You never forget her. You live as well as you would have lived by her side. Come on, hm? Come down, now.”

Hanjae’s breath stuttered, but he opened his eyes. Nodding his head like a child, he reached for Baekhyun’s hand.

Then he slipped, and Baekhyun moved faster than he could think, faster than he knew how.

Hanjae dangled at the end of Baekhyun’s hand, fear contorting his face, his mouth open, panting.

“Come on,” Baekhyun growled, trying to lift him. “Come on, now!” But despite being younger, the man was taller, and much heavier, and Baekhyun couldn’t hold on. One second. Two. Three, and then his fingers slipped from Baekhyun’s grasp and he plunged, silently toward the icy water.

Baekhyun didn’t think.

He just jumped.

The water was cold. So cold that Baekhyun had to fight his initial instinct to gasp. But that was another thing the military had done for him. He had already been trained against that.

Opening his eyes was useless in the dark, in the inky black. He couldn’t see, couldn’t hear, couldn’t figure out which way was up.

So he relaxed. Worked against his body’s instincts. Let himself go. Let himself float.

He broke the surface with a gasp, treading water, looking this way, and that. “Help!” he called. “Help, someone jumped!” He looked around frantically, preparing to dive once more to try to find Hanjae, when he noticed a dark shape bobbing in the water. Swimming closer, he saw that it was the man, bobbing face down.

Floating.

Baekhyun turned him over, wrapped an arm under his underarms, and side-kicked for shore, shouting all the way.

By the time he reached the shore, his muscles were burning, and black spots danced in front of his eyes, but he grit his teeth, and dragged Hanjae high enough that his head and torso were out of the water. Leaning close, Baekhyun put an ear to his mouth.

Nothing.

He leaned back on his haunches, howled in frustration. Leaning forward again, he slapped the man, but still no response. So, putting one palm on Hanjae’s chest, and wrapping his other hand around the first, Baekhyun began to pump. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…” After 30 compressions, he began to see lights in the distance. “Come on,” he whispered. “Come on!” He tipped Hanjae’s head back, pinched his nose, and covered his mouth with his own. He exhaled, watching Hanjae’s chest lift as breath was pushed into his lungs. Once. Twice.

Then he went back to it, pushing, and breathing, pushing and breathing, until he felt ribs crack, until he was being dragged away by someone who took over. “Come on!” Baekhyun screamed, shaking off a blanket that someone tried to wrap around him.

There was a groan, bone-deep, as if it came from beyond the grave, and then Hanjae was turning over, vomiting blood and water into the sand.

Baekhyun sagged, let rough hands pull him away.

He wanted to sleep for a million years.

****

Nine months later.

“Waaah, hyung! You’ve changed…”

Kyungsoo had come to visit Baekhyun in the military. Baekhyun tried not to preen under his friend’s approving gaze, and so affected an expression of false humility. Kyungsoo didn’t buy it.

“Modesty doesn’t become you, hyung. You look weird, it’s gross.”

Baekhyun laughed. “Yah, did you come all this way to make fun of me?”

Kyungsoo looked thoughtful. Then, “Yeah.”

Baekhyun pushed him away and he chuckled. “So…how goes the danish cart?”

“I have a cousin managing it, currently.”

“Does he…have any fun stories from working at City Hall?”

“You asking about Kang Iseul?”

Baekhyun spluttered. “What? No! I--what?! Just…want to know how they’re all doing. I made many good friendships there.”

“Oh, really? Like, who?”

“Like!” Baekhyun held Kyungsoo’s gaze as he wracked his brain to think of a single name. “Like Cha Dohyung!”

“Cha Dohyung?”

“Mm.”

“Who’s Cha Dohyung?”

“Works in Finance. Does…financial things.”

Kyungsoo nodded. “You’re lying through your teeth, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun nodded with him. “Is it that obvious?”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “So…that…Kang Iseul… After finding out that she was married…were you upset that you lost your money?”

Baekhyun frowned as if Kyungsoo had said something monumentally stupid. “No. I was upset that she was married to the head of a department, and pregnant with his baby, and he not only wasn’t taking care of her grandmother, but was playing around. I was mad that…I could…I would have been so good to her, and she was stuck with someone like him, while I had nobody.”

“Are you seeing anyone now?”

“Not really. Still just…working on myself. I’ve been out, but…not one-on-one.”

Kyungsoo was silent for a moment. Then he said, quietly, “How much were you out when you stopped paying the lawyer?”

Baekhyun looked even more scandalized. “I didn’t stop,” he said firmly, shaking his head. “I can’t…I can’t do…what I want for her… But at least I can do this. I can go this far. She really is…so…” he sighed. “It has been a year. I have to stop thinking about her like that. She belongs to someone. She doesn’t deserve someone like me thinking about her.”

“Hyung,” Kyungsoo said gently. “I think…I think that you’re a good guy. I think that…if given the choice…knowing both of you…she definitely would have chosen you. But,” he sighed, and crossed his arms, “life isn’t fair.”

Baekhyun stared into the distance, at the cadets running around the field. “No, it isn’t.”

Baekhyun’s phone buzzed, alerting him to the arrival of his taxi. Lifting his luggage, he left his barracks for the last time. As the car turned toward the train station, Baekhyun stared through the window at the place that had been his whole life for the past two years. The Baekhyun leaving base was not the same Baekhyun who had arrived. And while, inside, he had stayed true to himself, he had to admit, in many ways, he had improved. Grown stronger. Matured.

His phone dinged. A text from his mother.

Please stop by City Hall when you get into town. We’re having a little lunar new year luncheon with the departmental superintendents at work today, and we’d love for you to join us.

The Baekhyun that he had been before the military would have been filled with anxiety at the mere idea, but now he just felt weary. Instead of being an insurmountable feat, it was just a small irritation, and even though he had no particular desire to go, he would do his due diligence as a filial son, make an appearance, and leave.

He had decided that he would live in another gositel for as long as it took him to obtain a job in Seoul, and then he was going to move. To be honest, he was a bit eager to practice law. He was going to miss Kyungsoo, and the little cafe, but he had changed, and he was ready for a change.

***

Baekhyun stepped out of the taxi, and looked up at the imposing City Hall building. It was weird, he had been gone for two years, but everything looked so familiar, so similar, it was as if he had never been gone at all. As he entered the building, he looked to the left, where he used to place his cart.

The space was empty, which was to be expected, given the time of day. He walked around to the security guard’s desk, and signed in. The familiar click and buzz of the doors unlocking as the guard fobbed him in almost made him want to turn around and walk away, find a gositel and hole himself up, away from the weight of social interactions, but that wasn’t him anymore.

This is new, he noted of the elevator interior as he rode to the 9th floor. He smirked. Fancy. The bell dinged, and the doors opened to an empty hall. He made a left, heading for his parent’s department. He walked through the door with a smile, and stepped around the front desk, intending to put his suitcase in his father’s office.

“Excuse me; how may I help you?”

Brought short, he turned around to where Eun Dokyung was sitting. “Ah, I’m sorry. Hello, Eun Dokyungsshi,” he said with a slight bow.

She looked a bit confused, but returned the bow. “Where are you going?”

Baekhyun was confused. “To the…mayor’s office?”

“Do you…have an appointment?”

“An appointment?”

“Yes. Appointments are needed to see anyone from Council, or the Mayor or Vice-Mayor.”

He turned around to face her fully. “I need an appointment to drop my suitcase in my father’s office?”

She peered at him. Squinted. Then…”Byun Baekhyunsshi?”

Walking forward, he lifted his dog tags for her to read. “Yes.”

Her jaw dropped, and she looked him up and down. Then again. “How…?”

Grinning, he leaned an elbow on her desk. “How what?”

She gestured at his body. “What happened? How did you? Your--your hair! It’s so short! And black!”

He chuckled. “Long bleached hair is generally frowned upon in the military.”

“Why are you wearing glasses?”

“Because I need them.”

“You never wore glasses before,” she said accusingly.

He shrugged easily, not wanting to delve into how, growing up, his mother had been so image conscious that she had made him wear contacts, even though they made his eyes almost unbearably dry. “Didn’t you know? It’s the fashion now, fashion.”

“Ah,” she said, nodding as if just having had deep wisdom imparted upon her. “Aigoo,” she went on, her hand hovering over where his forearm was exposed by his rolled sleeve. “You’re so tan! I bet you didn’t wear any sunscreen,” she scolded.

He was growing bored. “Yes, well…I had other things to do. So, can I go put this in abeoji’s office? Omoni is expecting me at this luncheon.”

Eunkyung clapped her hands in remembrance. “Ah, that’s right! You go ahead, do you remember where it is?”

“Of course,” he said in mock reproach, tilting his head and giving her a little wink, amused when she flushed. He walked down the hall, and set down his suitcase, then made a brief stop to the bathroom to give himself a once-over. Deeming himself fine, left the bathroom, and headed toward where he heard the soft susurrations of an office party underway.

Baekhyun opened the double doors, pausing a moment to look over the room. His parents were easy to spot, holding court on opposite sides. They were always very circumspect at work, to the point where no one who didn’t know they were married…would know that they were married. He supposed it had been like that with Iseul and daepyonim. Speaking of…

He did another pass over the crowd as he headed to the refreshments table. It had been a long journey, and Baekhyun was hungry. Not even the anxiety of seeing his parents again after two years could keep his stomach from demanding payment. He smiled as he pulled a tray, and began to fill it. The food this year looked good. From what he had heard, office parties were often dominated by grey meat, dry rice, and dusty, common sweets, but all of this food looked hot, and appetizing. A familiar voice caught his attention, and he looked up to see Sim daepyonim standing near the door, talking to a woman whose name he couldn't remember, but who he did remember worked in Procurement.

Scoffing to himself, Baekhyun shook his head. daepyonim looked hale and hearty as always. Jerk. Tray finally filled to his liking, Baekhyun started toward where his father sat.

“-Well, Jung Byeonhosanim is about to retire, so we’ve submitted a memo to overfill his position-”

Baekhyun inwardly rolled his eyes as he walked by his old boss. Even his voice was annoying now.

Byun Baekchul, looked up as his son approached. “Ah, Baekhyunah,” he said, rising from his seat.

“Abeonim,” Baekhyun said respectfully, putting down his tray, to accept his father’s setting-appropriate clap on the back.

“Come, sit,” his father said, guiding him into a chair. “Adul, you look good. Let me introduce you.”

Baekhyun bowed and smiled and ate, greeting everyone politely, saying the right words at the right time, but his mind wandered.

Baekhyun’s palms were tingly as he walked his date--Im Eunae--to her door. She was cute, she was pretty, she liked anime--in short, she was perfect. They had been seeing each other for a while, and every time they were together, his heart softened just a bit more. For her part, Eunae seemed to think that he was handsome and hilarious, and had no problems telling him so regularly, which did wonders for Baekhyun’s self esteem.

But now, they had been seeing each other for several weeks--had gone out together almost every weekend--and his discharge date was approaching. They had already clarified the relationship a few dates in, and now Baekhyun thought it was time to take it to the next level.

It was time to go for the kiss.

Granted, he had never…but Kai told him to start slow, and just be gentle, and he had watched enough kdramas to figure out the general mechanics.

“Oppa. Thank you for walking me home.”

Baekhyun ruffled Eunae’s hair lightly, and she flushed. “Of course,” he said, leaning a bit closer into her personal space. “I have to make sure our Eunae is safe. What if someone were to snatch you? Oppa would be so sad.” He pouted.

Girls really seemed to love that.

Eunae was no exception. She flushed, lowering her head, and weakly beating a fist against his arm. “Stop! You’re going to make me blush!”

“Oh? But I like that, though? Let me see.” Lifting a hand to her face, Baekhyun raised her chin so that she had to look him in the eye. He tilted his head. “You’re even cuter when you blush,” he said sincerely.

She tried to suppress a smile, but it was obvious. “Thank you.”

“Eunaeya.”

“Hm?”

“Can oppa kiss you?”

She fidgeted, looking extremely pleased. Kai had been right. Girls didn’t often say what they did and did not like out loud, but their body language was easy to read if you paid attention. Wordlessly, she nodded, closing her eyes, and lifting her face just a bit more.

Steeling himself, Baekhyun lowered his mouth to his. Her lips were warm, soft, and when his mouth touched hers, he felt…

He felt…

Nothing.

In consternation, he paused, leaning back a little. Eunae opened her eyes, looked at him, her expression also a bit puzzled. Stroking her jaw, he tilted his head and went back in, softly kissed her from another angle.

Nothing.

He straightened slightly again.

This time, Eunae looked thoroughly confused. Lifting her own hands, she placed them against his cheeks, brought his mouth down to hers, and kissed him so thoroughly, that he learned more in that 10 seconds than he had ever learned from countless hours of watching dramas. Still, when she finally released him…

He looked to one side. She looked to the other.

“Eunae,” he said hesitantly.

“Did you…?” she started.

“Nothing?” His voice was quiet, tentative.

“Absolutely nothing.” She sounded bewildered. “I don’t understand. You’re perfect.”

“You’re pretty perfect yourself,” he assured her.

“How could we…?”

“I don’t know…”

“...have absolutely no chemistry?” she finished.

Sighing miserably, Baekhyun leaned against her door.

Sympathetically, she patted his arm. “I’m sorry, oppa.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I guess that it’s just not…”

“Meant to be.”

~~~

Earlier, in the present day.

Iseul was nervous as she checked the time. daepyonim had volunteered her to organize the lunar new year luncheon, as the secretary who usually did it was on maternity leave. Iseul had no problem organizing luncheons; she had been doing it for a few years now, but those were usually intradepartmental. Doing it for all of the City department heads, superintendents, the Mayor, the Vice-Mayor (of whom she was still terrified), and all of Council was a bit…nerve-wracking. To say the least.

She had made a list of all of the things that she had needed to buy/do before and for the event, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was forgetting something. The caterer that she had contracted ostensibly would provide all of the plates, cups, spoons, chopsticks, napkins, trays, and serving accoutrements, but she didn’t trust it. So, she had purchased backups…just in case. If work had taught her nothing else, it was that it was better to be safe than sorry.

She had already been up to the conference room to triple check that she had it booked for the appropriate time slot (she had), but now that it was getting close to the beginning of the luncheon, and the caterer was nowhere in sight, her anxiety was mounting. She had called them that morning to ensure that everything was on schedule (it was, though their drink machine was broken, which wasn’t a huge problem, as it merely necessitated a quick run to the store, although Iseul was annoyed that she had had to call to find out that information). Iseul double-checked her email, just to ensure she had given the caterer the correct time (she had), and idly wondered if she should give them another call. Of course, her anxiety spiked at the idea of calling only to discover that something had gone wrong, so she merely side-eyed the phone in apprehension as she put everything that she thought that she could possibly need into her little cart to wheel upstairs. Dish detergent. Sponges. Disinfecting wipes. The cooler full of drinks on ice. Hand sanitizer.

Her phone rang.

She approached it with a combination of eagerness and trepidation, but her heart fell once she saw on the caller ID that it came from another City department. “Hello?”

“Hello, it’s Do Eunkyung; the food is here.”

“What?”

“The caterer just dropped off the food.”

Iseul checked her watch. A bit early. This early, and they ran the risk of the food being cold by the time that people arrived. Darnit. Also, why hadn’t they called her? She shook her head. It didn’t matter. “Alright; thank you for letting me know.”

Taking the cart by the handle, she wheeled it upstairs to double-check the food and prepare the room. Once she arrived, she peeked into the containers of food, checking each thing off her list, until… She checked again. And a third time. And groaned.

They had neglected to bring one of the pans of dakbokkeumtang.

Of course.

She called to see if they had accidentally left it at the restaurant, but no…they had just completely forgotten.

“We could make it really quickly, or we could refund the bill…”

Iseul checked the time. Considering how close they had cut it to the luncheon anyway, the length of the luncheon, and how long it would take for them to cook enough chicken for so many people, while also cooking for the patrons of their restaurant, she wasn’t willing to risk it. She would just take her chances that she had already ordered enough food. “A refund, please.”

After dealing with that, she went downstairs to Procurement, her old department, and found her old boss. “Jung daepyonim, could I borrow the chafing dishes for the luncheon? The caterer dropped off the food a while ago, and I don’t think that it will be hot by the time lunch starts.”

“Certainly,” Hwayoung said. “You remember where they are?”

“I do,” Iseul answered, heading toward the closet. “Thanks!”

Chafing dishes and burners in hand, Iseul headed back upstairs to set up the tables and chairs in the room, and organize the food table. Going over the extras sent by the caterer, Iseul felt an ironic little thrill of vindication when she saw that they had also forgotten the spoons and chopsticks. Cackling quietly over her foresight, she set those up, as well.

daepyonim wandered in first, a bit before the luncheon, asking if she needed help with anything, but she had everything. Then, as people started to arrive in twos and threes, and the luncheon was finally properly underway, she slipped out for a bathroom break. Opening the door to the bathroom, she saw a handsome guy in uniform leave the elevator, and turn toward the offices. Peeking around the side of the bathroom door, she admired his wide shoulders and easy walk as he headed away.

What did his mother eat? And how can I thank her? Iseul laughed quietly before realization set in, and she shook her head, lightly slapped her cheeks. If he was in uniform, then he was probably around 30 at the oldest. “No, no, no,” she told herself, as she waited a few seconds before leaving the bathroom alcove and heading back to the party. “Don’t even think about it.”

Her grandmother, whom--thanks to the payout from the class action lawsuit, Iseul had been able to put in a nice retirement village, instead of a nursing home--had tentatively started to ask, “Well, if you haven’t met any nice boys, are there perhaps…any nice girls?” Iseul appreciated the sentiment, but no, she was just terminally single. Her window of opportunity had passed. But that was fine. Not having to pay most of her salary to a nursing home had freed her to be able to move to an actually habitable apartment. Nothing extravagant, but at least now home was a safe haven. She loved home. Home was the best. Who needed a boyfriend when you could go home to soft, warm bed?

And, sure, perhaps she could…try harder. Put herself on the dating market. Try sogaeting, or something. Asking a friend to introduce her to someone was out, because most of her friends were already married, and only knew other couples. Annoyingly, the reason she knew this was because each had, at some point, volunteered the information . She was annoyed they had just assumed that, as a single woman, she must be desperate enough to want their help, despite never having mentioned it.

And she was annoyed that they hadn’t even tried.

But, trying to find someone on her own…the idea of having to…basically package and try to sell herself, like a door-to-door salesman hawking a vacuum cleaner, over and over in the quickly diminishing hopes of finding someone who would fit just…filled her with dread. Iseul had observed the dating scene, seen how poorly it seemed to be going for everyone--even the obscenely gorgeous--and noped right back to her corner. And really, any single guys left at her age mostly were either damaged goods, or wanted to move entirely too fast for her comfort. At her age, no guy was going to want to move as slowly as she would need to feel comfortable. But it was okay.

Really.

Her home was warm and inviting, and she had three cats, now. Anyone who made fun of cat ladies clearly didn’t have cats, because they were so sweet to her, every day. One of her babies, an oversized brown tabby tomcat, was so courtly that sometimes she wished that he would just turn human.

“If life were a manhwa, I could have had my main character moment,” she joked to herself as she reentered the conference room. Looking around, she mentally counted the attendees and-- after seeing that the majority of them had arrived, and were eating--decided that it was the time to feed herself.

She walked to the table, noted which dishes were almost empty, and reached underneath to replace them with fresh ones. Really, the caterer coming too early had done her a favour; had she set out everything at once, it certainly would all have gone cold. She made a mental note to order some chafing dishes, and those little heaters for her department.

She surveyed the room, found a nook where she could sit alone, and ate her lunch, reading stories on her phone as she ate.

Are you being unsociable?

Iseul looked up at that text from her boss, searching until she found him at a table with other department heads, smiling teasingly at her. She texted back.

Always

Something that someone said caught his attention, and he went back to his conversation.

Yes, Iseul didn’t mind being on the fringes of the crowd. She liked being unnoticed, unobtrusive. She liked observing other people, reading them, predicting how they would act, or surmising why they did certain things. Within the last year, she had realized that not everyone was meant to be with someone, whether that be romantically, or platonically, and that recognition, that the media was wrong, that some people were just going to be alone…die alone, was oddly…soothing. No point against railing against inevitability. She could just relax and live day to day as comfortably as she could.

Meanwhile, she wasn’t above living vicariously through various romantic heroines. Her current pleasure (no guilt) was a webtoon with a yandere ice cream man who had kidnapped a heroine and was holding her in his old house in the hopes that she would fall in love with him. Iseul was about to drop some coins to read ahead to the next chapter, when she remembered that she was not at home in bed on her own time, she was still on the clock at her job, and it was about time to go check on the food.

***

Baekhyun came to himself, realizing that he had been blindly staring across the room. He blinked, then looked around surreptitiously. Thankfully, no one seemed to have noticed. He eyed his empty plate, idly debating between getting more food, and going to make his greetings to his mother.

Food won, and he lifted his gaze to the table to see what was left to find Kang Iseul throwing away empty boxes, and putting out more food. Baekhyun froze. His blood felt like it was running cold, but his body felt hot.

She looked the same. Well, more or less. Delicate smile lines graced the sides of her mouth now, but on her, they looked somehow…elegant. He was glad to know that, contrary to his fears, she had spent the last two years smiling. Her hair had grown, but it was still the same rich black that he remembered. And her body…he cut off that thought, looking down at his tray, only acknowledging that her body hadn’t changed at all. Had she lost the baby? Or had she just…snapped back? He stopped that train of thought before it led him to a dangerous place.

His thoughts turned bitter. daepyonim was sitting there, chatting with department heads and superintendents while his wife, who Baekhyun now realized may have organized this whole luncheon, was throwing away waste, and putting out food like some sort of second class citizen.

Baekhyun’s father noticed his empty tray, and his eyebrows raised in surprise. He hadn’t seen his son finish a meal since middle school. “Are you still hungry? Go get more; there’s plenty.”

“I was debating it,” Baekhyun said evasively.

“Anything you liked in particular?”

“The galbi was pretty good.”

Baekchul peered across the room. “I think that Iseulsshi is putting out more. Why don’t you go get it while it’s hot?”

“Oh, is that Kang Iseulsshi,” Baekhyun asked casually. “How are she and daepyonim doing?”

His father looked at him oddly. “They’re fine, I suppose.”

“I remember her from when I worked for the cafe,” Baekhyun explained.

“Ah,” Baekchul nodded. “I understand she’s a good employee.”

“Oh?” Baekhyun asked noncommittally.

“Mm,” his father started, “Soobin is constantly singing her praises.”

Baekhyun chuckled bitterly. “Well, that’s the least he could do.”

Baekchul looked at him quizzically. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it would be a bit odd not to praise your wife, wouldn’t it?”

His father looked confused. “They’re not married.”

The world seemed to slow, and for a moment, all Baekhyun could hear was the blood rushing in his ears. “What?”

“Why do you think they’re married?”

“I thought… I overheard someone say it,” Baekhyun answered weakly.

“Ah, no, mm-mm,” his father said firmly, shaking his head. “I mean, Soobin got married while you were in the military, but not to Iseul. Come to think of it, I don’t think she’s married at all. You must have misunderstood.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun said quietly, inclining his head. Iseul wasn’t married.

Iseul wasn’t married.

He had left, he had left when maybe he--he had gone through all of that for…? But what about what happened? He knew what he heard, what he had seen. Leaning toward his father, he lowered his voice. “Abeoji, about Sim daepyonim…wasn’t there a rumour…?”

“Ah…” his father murmured, nodding. “That he was a playboy?”

Baekhyun merely gave his father a neutral smile, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.

“Yes, apparently, he had a close call with some woman he had ditched after playing around. I mean, everyone knew what he was doing, but until then, he had been discreet, so it didn’t matter. That must have changed him, though, because after that, he started sogaeting, and then…next thing we knew, he was married.”

At that point one of the Council members tapped his father to say something, and Baekhyun was left to his old thoughts. He looked across the room to where Iseul was wiping something off of the table, and he felt a flash of irritation. Why was she doing that? Shouldn’t the caterer handle that sort of thing?

A lock of hair slid forward, obscuring her face, and she lifted a graceful hand to push it behind her ear. Her profile was perfect, he thought dreamily, then stopped himself. No, he couldn’t think of her like that, he couldn’t--

He stopped again. He could. He could think of her that way. She wasn’t married. He was free to think whatever lovely, loving thoughts about her that he wanted. Like, how soft her arms looked as she went about her tasks. He remembered how soft they felt. How sweet she smelled…

Iseul looked up for a moment, and caught Baekhyun’s eye. She looked at him quizzically, and he tilted his head and smiled. Her eyes widened and she quickly looked away, a gentle flush rising up her neck. He watched her, fascinated by the way she moved, the way her clothing lovingly skimmed over her body. She was dressed differently than he remembered. It was softer, almost ethereal. The Iseul that he remembered had a far more utilitarian wardrobe.

…The court ordered the purchasing company to not only honour their contracts, but to pay for both pain and suffering of its clients, as well as court costs and lawyer fees….

Ah, so that’s the reason, Baekhyun thought, remembering Beomseok’s words. He liked it. This style fit her much better.

She looked back, eyes widening when she saw that he was still watching her. She tilted her own head, looked at him curiously.

Without thought, he stood.

“Going to get more food?” his father asked.

“Mm,” Baekhyun answered noncommittally, heading for the table.

“Your tray-”

But Baekhyun was already making his way toward his goal.

“Baekhyunah! Adul!”

Almost there, he was brought up short when his mother slipped in front of him.

“How lovely to see you,” she said pleasantly enough.

Baekhyun tore his eyes from Iseul to look down at his mother, who was flanked by the head of some department or other, he couldn’t quite remember. Finance, or something. “Omonim,” he said respectfully. “You look well.”

“Thank you, you do, as well. I hardly recognized you. If we hadn't done video calls, I never would have! You’ve grown so handsome!”

“I was always handsome,” he answered without thought, looking past her to where Iseul had continued her earlier activities. He noticed her little smile as he said that. She must have heard.

“Yes, you were,” his mother agreed, “but still, you have improved greatly. I’m glad to see that the military treated you so well.”

“Yes, thank you,” he said politely, shifting his gaze from Iseul to his mother.

“Adul, allow me to introduce you to Park Soheesshi, the director of the City Attorney’s Office.”

“Hello,” Baekhyun said, with a small bow.

“Hello,” the woman returned.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Thank you. I’m also glad to finally meet our Vice-Mayor’s son. She talks about you all the time.”

Baekhyun felt a jolt of amusement. No, she doesn’t. “Does she?” He chuckled. “What does she say?”

“Oh, how proud of you she is,” Sohee said vaguely. A few agonizingly awkward seconds passed. “So,” she began again, “What are your plans now that you’ve been discharged?”

The wheels began to turn in Baekhyun’s head as he turned toward her. He raised his voice slightly. “I’m looking for a job, actually.”

“What sort of work?” she asked.

Baekhyun smiled. “I’m a lawyer.” He saw his mother’s gratified smile out of the corner of his eye, but she wasn’t his target.

“Have you thought about applying for the City Attorney’s Office?”

“Excuse me-”

Baekhyun turned to see Sim daepyonim standing beside him. He felt a bit guilty for all of the negative thoughts that he had sent the man’s way over the years. “Hello,” he said, bowing politely. He watched the man’s eyes as he straightened. He didn’t recognize him.

Good.

‘Sim Soobongsshi, don’t you dare!” the woman protested with a laugh.

“You know I’m going to,” Baekhyun’s former boss shot back. “I’m sorry…I couldn’t help but overhear… You’re a lawyer?”

“I am,” Baekhyun said gravely.

“My name is Sim Soobongsshi, and I’m the Director of Public Works. Here’s my card,” the man said, handing over a crisp, cream-coloured business card with elegantly embossed black lettering. “We’re looking to hire, if you’re in the market.”

“No, don’t apply to them, come to me,” Soheesshi said charmingly. “I’ll treat you well.”

Baekhyun slid his hands into his pockets, and glanced to where Iseul was walking toward the door. He swore internally, then calmed himself. No… No. There was no need for annoyance. He was going to get that job.

And then… And then…

He smiled.

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